Time for the Apple Watch, Fox News Is the Most Trusted Network, Racist Fraternity: P.M. Links
Sen. Lindsey Graham explained why he has never sent an email before.
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Apple unveiled its new Apple Watch and some other cool things.
- "Fair and balanced" Fox News is the most trusted network, according to a Quinnipiac University poll.
- Daylight Savings Time is the worst.
- Everyone continues to be justifiably furious about the University of Oklahoma fraternity that engaged in a racist chant. Expelling the students would be too much, however.
- The White House and the GOP clashed on Iran talks.
- Gov. Scott Walker is a dirty flip-flopper on ethanol subsidies.
- Sen. Lindsey Graham explained why he has never sent an email before.
- Check out the latest Game of Thrones trailer.
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NO SPOILERS
Hello.
Lou Reed is dead.
Fuck off.
HE IS NOT.
That’s why it’s a spoiler.
Well, his corpse is probably a-spoiling as we type.
Check out the latest Game of Thrones trailer.
Why does that link take me to FB. This makes you as bad as SAE or curcumcision.
But not as bad as Nicole.
But way worse than deep dish that’s 10% ethanol.
Uggh, ethanol deep dish barely counts as pizza.
Sen. Lindsey Graham explained why he has never sent an email before.
He’s been banned worldwide for spamming preemptively.
Daylight Savings Time is the worst.
NO IT’S THE BEST IT SHOULD BE STANDARD TIME ALL YEAR AROUND.
^ This
Double this.
And one more.
YES. And New England should be in the Atlantic time zone.
And New England should be in the Atlantic time zone another country.
AGREED.
I’M WITH YOU! FUCK THE LIMEY
Triple dis
doh, I’m off today.
Yeah, this is a real viewpoint? Give me the sun in the evening, thank you very much.
Fuck DST
Fuck you, buddy!
You’re wrong and you’re a terrible person for even thinking that. Daylight Savings Time should be made illegal, and anyone promoting it should be punished severely.
Um, no. I’m going to hop in my kayak after work and watch the sunset.
In a world with no DST, 9-5 would be 8-4.
In a world with DST, 7:30 to 4:30 is effectively 6:30 to 3:30.
Is there a translation of this for an AZ resident whose workday starts pre-dawn, regardless?
It looks like we’ve found something new to add to our circumcision/abortion/deep dish pizza/etc. memes.
Mexican, Pot Smoking, Butt-sex, DST’er!
Fuck you John Oliver. Not only is DST awesome, but Daylight Savings Day should be declared a national holiday.
Either that, or leave it year round.
That is all!
Can we make it the Monday after DST day?
Leave it year round. Who cares how bright it is in the morning? I have an alarm clock to wake me up if need be. Can we jump 2 hours ahead?
The only way we will ever rid ourselves from Daylight Savings is if the new Apple watch has a glitch in it and it doesn’t automatically switch over.
Then Tim Cook will spin it not as a bug but a feature and every hipster out there will nod along with him and claim that they were into not switching way before anyone else was.
You can say that again.
The only way we will ever rid ourselves from Daylight Savings is if the new Apple watch has a glitch in it and it doesn’t automatically switch over.
Then Tim Cook will spin it not as a bug but a feature and every hipster out there will nod along with him and claim that they were into not switching way before anyone else was.
Whoa, deja vu.
Buried in the middle of other news stories on the USA Today home page is this:
White House: Obama did trade e-mails with Clinton
Well, to his credit, he only exchanged emails and not any bodily fluids.
/ducks
Well, to his credit, he only exchanged emails and not any bodily fluids.
I think “emunctory” would fit everything Obama says every time he opens his mouth to speak.
Thanks, Ted! It pays to increase your wordpower!
So, he just read about it in the paper?
“he was not aware of the details”
And neither was Hillary! Nanner-nanner-nanner!
He’s almost certainly full of shit, just like he is practically every time he opens his nasty little mouth.
I would bet my life savings that it was the administration that leaked out the details about her server. It’s the most open secret in the world that Obama can’t stand the Clintons and would prefer to see someone else as the democratic nominee.
I find this plausible.
“prefer to see someone else as the democratic nominee.”
Joe? Anyone but Hillary? Michelle?
Himself, of course. The previous two terms don’t count if he runs again with his Kenyan Muslim name. I bet most Obamanoids would go along with that.
“Fair and balanced” Fox News is the most trusted network…
The benefit of being the sole rightwing side while every other news outlet is seen as liberal.
I look forward to a ton of wailing in my Derpbook feed tonight…
…and if I get lucky, I may even see some calls for restricting the 1st amendment using some “truth in media” amendment!
Let’s hope it works for Rand Paul in the primaries. 5 or 6 Establishment goons splitting the country club vote, 3 or 4 fundies splitting the church vote, and 1 reasonable candidate winning the nomination with 35 percent.
Barron’s AP Test Prep Guide: Clarence Thomas Is A Fascist In League With KKK [PHOTOS]
We don’t need no education! We don’t need no AP history!
Take a look at the full-sized chart. AWFUL.
Wow.
I posted this a while back. Apparently, if you’re of Indian origin and don’t go along with the whole bag of “liberal” viewpoints, you’re a racist as well. The tweet has been deleted, but here is a cached copy:
http://goo.gl/t2DApF
One fine gentleman even says that “it’s an immigrant form of Uncle Tom”.
Take a look.
There’s something deliciously refreshing about Left Wing racism = they stand around and go, “what’s the deal with these Darkies thinking for themselves!?”, utter lacking in self-awareness.
Is that actually real? it also says “Sams culottes” instead of “sans culottes”…
The number of errors is staggering. At a glance: “Montagnards” does not mean “the mountain”; “monarchien” is singular and translated as plural; “emigrees” has one e too many…I kind of don’t believe this is real. Or it’s just incredibly shitty.
And wtf is a “girendist”
It’s either a kind of salamander or a helicopter pilot. I can never remember which.
“emigrees” has one e too many
In theory, it could be female-only ?migr?es.
This is why there are no male reactionaries
Again, a good call. Should have refreshed before posting.
You’re still the worst, though, hon…
Tonio, isn’t this why I am the worst? I mean really. What a bitch, I can’t even let them have their typos.
At this point, I hope it is not a prank.
It’s not. See my post below.
Probably should be “Ultramontanes” instead of “Montagnards”
No –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mountain
Ultramontanes are…well, judge for yourself:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultramontanism
The Mountain should gouge their eyes out.
Good call.
Also, doesn’t “montagnards” translate into mountaineers? Also, also wasn’t it “Girondists” not the “Girendists” in the diagram?
Yes, montagnards are people from the mountains. “Girondists” is the usual English spelling; the French called them “Girondins.”
It is indeed striking how many errors a progtard can make in a simple diagram.
It is even more striking how many errors a progtard editor can overlook in a single diagram.
I distinctly remember my high school history textbooks directly contradicting themselves on the same page on more than one occasion. So I have no issue whatsoever with believing that minor typographical errors such as that could occur.
Probably get them at Sam’s Club. Goddam Wallottes.
I could use Sam’s culottes.
Go to Sans Club and get…nothing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-K8fyAmhKE
(at 0:23)
Not even a giggle?
I like how most democrats prefer small change while most republicans reject all change.
The Top. Men. fallacy is widespread.
Wow, Just Wow.
Nevermind the absolute idiocy of trying to draw parallels between modern American political discourse and 1790s French political culture (or the idiocy of ascribing the terms fascist and communist to a time preceding either terms’s existence).
Yeah, that’s hilarious. I especially hate the usage of the term ‘reactionary’ since very often allegedly reactionary movements are really revolutionary. The Nazis weren’t really reactionary since no similar government system had ever existed. If they were reactionaries they would have been agitating for the re-establishment of the Holy Roman Empire rather than inventing an entirely new governing philosophy.
And the Malibu police chief actually was a reactionary!
Of course they are descending upon the Amazon reviews
The people giving it a ‘Five star’ are clearly retarded.
“Im taking AP Euro while im in 10th grade and it has helped alot with the time line of events and provides alot of evidence for the essays we have to due. I would recomend it to anyone who’s taking AP Euro.”
This kid never had a chance.
“Sophomore daughter who is dedicated to her studies begged me to purchase several different AP review books. Out of the 3 she put in the cart and subsequently bought, this was the most useful. In fact we were able to purchase the Barron’s AP books exclusively for her other tests. She was pleased with how the questions and answeres were current with the tests she took. I was thrilled with her final grade! Granted, she did all the work but said she would recommend this to her friends :-)”
This sounds like a propaganda pamphlet from North Korea.
“Dear Leader Kim Jong Un speaks quite highly of grand increase in rice production and applauds the peoples’ noble copper mines and wondrous backyard smelting operations.”
Well, considering all the 1 star reviews are form today too, I’m not giving them too much credence, either.
I believe it’s real. I was able to find this page through the Look Inside! feature on Amazon.com. It’s on page 168. Search for “fascist.”
Good thinking. That’s mf sad yo.
Apparently “Leftists” only want to regulate banks and corporations. Geez, is that all? I had no idea.
You’d think “Leftist” meant, “SEC lawyer” or something.
You’d think the creator of this wanted to make Leftists seem the most reasonable and non-controversial position to hold. After all, just about everyone agrees that banks and corporations should have at least a few regulations, right? Unlike conservatives, who are afraid of any positive change.
I can just imagine a higher-education panel reviewing this and finding it completely fair and accurate.
Homeschool or private school, folks.
The White House and the GOP clashed on Iran talks.
Clash of whatever the opposite of titans is.
I look forward to a GOP congress and a GOP president dragging us into yet another war in the sh1thole that is the middle east after 2016.
Dwarfs?
Midget wrestling?
Today in idiotic sentences:
Suburban Atlanta garbageman sentenced to 30 days in jail for starting his rounds too early in the morning
New Orleans man sentenced to 13 years for possession of two joints. This one’s especially fun. The first judge sentenced him to “only” five years, but the prosecution appealed the sentence, thinking it was too lenient.
Boob Bloomberg approves!
You have to send someone to prison and ruin their life to save his IQ.
Right off the bat the first comment:
“Stop committing crimes. He would not be in jail.”
Fuck.
The kid who delivers newspapers on our street has some sort of hot rod with loud pipes and I never thought of calling 9-Fucking-1-1 on him. I’m usually awake when he goes up and down the street at 5:30 or so, but it doesn’t bother my wife or kids.
What sort of fucking asshole calls the cops on a garbage man? And did his company send him out at that time? Or did he steal the truck and go rogue?
The kid who delivers newspapers on our street has some sort of hot rod with loud pipes and I never thought of calling 9-Fucking-1-1 on him. I’m usually awake when he goes up and down the street at 5:30 or so, but it doesn’t bother my wife or kids.
What sort of fucking asshole calls the cops on a garbage man? And did his company send him out at that time? Or did he steal the truck and go rogue?
New Orleans man sentenced to 13 years for possession of two joints.
I possess several dozen or more joints, as do most people.
That way you have some for the morning, and you some for night, and you have some for the afternoon to make you feel alright.
You have some in case we should ever live in a country at time peace (fat chance) and some that you can readily use in our state of perpetual war. You have some to have before you have some, and that you have some to have some more.
You’re a terrible person and should feel ashamed for this.
Exactly why Spike Lee shoots in NYC and not New Orleans.
Busted, down on Bourbon Street, set up, like a bowlin’ pin.
Those sentences don’t seem too bad for newspaper editors. They have a noun and a verb and some kind of explanatory phrase. What’s the problem?
Apple unveiled its new Apple Watch and some other cool things.
Superfluous “other” in that sentence.
I’d argue that “cool” was the offending word.
Damn your nimble fingers!
Superfluous “cool” in that sentence.
I predict the watch will bomb.
Women don’t give a shit about techie watches and women are the primary iphone demo.
18 hour battery life. In a watch.
Gonna bomb like the biggest bombinging thing that ever went boom.
I predict it will sell a lot but be objectively crappier than competitive Android devices.
Oh, and that it will be hailed as “groundbreaking” and “inventive” despite there being at least 2 dozen smartwatches on the market already.
Grantland’s feature on our Dear Leader.
http://grantland.com/features/…..niversary/
“That’s more a reflection of young people, thinking you can do whatever you want. The truth of the matter is, is that we live in a society where you got to work with others and not everybody is going to agree with you all the time. And the more your influence expands, the more a diverse set of people you’re going to have to deal with. That’s a skillset you’re going to need no matter what.”
Huh. That’s a long way away from “I won.”
I gagged reading that. Although at least the transcript seems to have not dropped all the “um’s” from Obama’s answer to the one question the reporter was allowed to ask.
Spot the Not!
Roy Moore, that Alabama judge with the 10 commandments monument
1. Anytime you deny the acknowledgement of God you are undermining the entire basis for which our country exists.
2. Indeed, the acknowledgement of God is not synonymous with religion.
3. If God gives you rights, no man and no government can take them away from you.
4. The Ten Commandments are the divinely revealed law.
5. It would bother me if a judge told me how I had to believe.
6. The First Amendment is not without limits.
5?
2.
5 is my best guess.
3.
I thought 5 at first, but the guy is such a derptastic thinker that I think he genuinely could engage in the doublethink required to make that statement.
And the Not is…..
6
That is from Jerry Falwell.
Expelling the students would be too much, however.
A tolerant atmosphere can’t tolerate bigots.
I hear loud wails in my left ear!
Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin Signs ‘Right to Work’ Bill
The derpiest comment so far:
Umm… supporters of RTW laws are CONSISTENT, and support your right to sell your shares and walk away instead of being forced into partial ownership of XYZ Corporation. No?
The proggie derp is awful, but the tears are oh-so-delicious!
salty, salty tears!
“Democracy died tonight!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jy8FSyI_Djg
Yeah, that sounds like the exact opposite. RTW doesn’t mean union members get to veto political donations they don’t like, it means they can disassociate themselves from the union. Which is exactly what the shareholder can do.
Spot the Not! Rod Blagoyevich!
1. Ask any woman and she’ll tell you: health care for women is more expensive than it is for men.
In fact, during their reproductive years, women spend 68% more on health care than men do.
2. I’m Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. And I crashed to the ground.
3. When the money’s coming your way, you don’t ask any questions.
4. Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children?
5. This is a fucking valuable thing, I’m not just going to give it away for fuckin’ nothin.
6. Let’s put aside the politics and trust the people.
Trick question! There is no not!
He definitely said 5, so I’m going with 6.
And the Not is…
3
That is from fictional politician Frank Underwood.
AUDIT: 6.5 million people with active SSNs are 112-years-old or older
http://www.cnsnews.com/news/ar…..2-or-older
Yeah, all it would take is one guy who’s job it is to investigate everyone number that reaches over a 100 and we wouldn’t have this problem. No wait this is the government, make that 1000 guys.
So if there are 65 million OVER the age of 112 with active SSNs, how many are there over, say, 100? Must be at least 3 times that number.
The article says six point five, not sixty five. Suspect the number is closer to 6,500.
And they all live in either Philadelphia or Chicago.
OU made a big deal of tearing the frat’s letter’s off their house.
link
I was expecting something more like this.
You beat me to it.
Well played.
Of course the Soviets also beat the Yanks to Berlin. So when did you become a member of the communist party?
And as another busload of white pledges singing lynching songs lurches past a black frat house aglow with branding irons, we bid farewell to Oklahoma’s ivory towers of academe…
I don’t suppose you could manage, just fucking once, to post something that isn’t completely unintelligible gibberish could you Sietz?
Just one time.
Tales from the Derp
A friend of the family is a weapons loader in the Air Force. He is now on disability because he claims that the thought that the bombs he loaded killed civilians gave him PTSD.
He actually got it? Oh sweetcake! What a lucky guy!
I heard another story about an Army guy who got 100% disability for sleep apnea.
I say “Army guy” because I find it hard to refer to such people as “soldiers”.
The VA standard for apnea is 50%.
Which is a fucking travesty.
It’s normally 10% for losing a limb.
They are supposedly fixing this, but thousands have already been given this disability.
Another name for sleep apnea is “Fat”.
It’s really only in morbidly obese people whose fat prevents them from breathing adequately while they are asleep, and wakes them up.
Lose the weight, no more disability!
Somehow I don’t see many people giving up a good pension and total free health insurance by eating well and exercising, though.
Fucking incentives, how do they work?
There’s also central sleep apnea, which apparently originates in the brain, that I’ve lived with my entire life (long before the BMI index would consider me “fat”, even. Hell, look at Jim Norton for a non-fat example of the condition). Ridiculous reason for disability claims, though.
He should have been slapped until he got over it or he had PTSD from the constant slapping.
Once you let them take off their ties and leggings, discipline goes all to hell.
IG Audit: 6.5 Million People With Active Social Security Numbers Are 112 or Older
And the fun will really begin when the IRS slaps ’em with the penaltax!
4:48 called. It wants its bragging rights back.
I never brag about this stuff.
It diminishes one’s chance of getting a hat-tip.
“4:38” Derp.
Oh, I see EAP already posted.
How about: Live to 500?
How many of those receive checks?
All of them?
“We do not collect that data.”
We just send the money out.
So Matt Welch is concern trolling today about the debt ceiling. If the Shutdown was stupid of the Republicans then surely caving on the debt ceiling is a good thing?
That said it’s not like the Republicans are going to do much beyond increase spending by 9% instead of 10%.
What debt ceiling? If it’s never stopped the debt from rising, it’s not a ceiling. It’s more like a hat.
“”Fair and balanced” Fox News is the most trusted network, according to a Quinnipiac University poll”
Cue apoplectic disbelief from progressives, who continue to insist that they represent “moderate, centrist” views, while Fox is a haven for Right-Wing lunatics.
The worst part about that story is that it will cause the progs to double down on the obsessive hatred. It will only get more mind-numbingly annoying soon
No, Gilmore, cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth at the lumpen proletariat and their false consciousness.
Sudden, not Gilmore. Crap.
Do you guys know why New Hampshire primary is first? Because it has been since 1920 back when no one cared about the primaries. Something to do with the fact that New Hampshire originally held March elections and still holds town meetings and municipal elections then and back in 1920 that was the earliest primary.
Traditions start for all sorts of reasons. That’s no excuse to end the tradition.
Remember windowlicker who wanted to abolish the senate? Turns out he’s a big fan of monarchies:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..s-awesome/
*the windowlicker
Using the same sort of brain-dead ‘correlation cluster analysis’, he could correlate “Rich and Healthy” with any number of idiotic criteria that has nothing to do with why countries are “Rich and Healthy”
However most of the obvious ones would probably be ‘racist’.
I love his argument because most of the parliaments are in Europe whereas most of the American style Republics are in places like Africa and South America.
Gee, I wonder if there’s anything else that’s different about those places other than their type of democratic government. Nope, can’t think of anything. Africa must be worse because they lack European style parliaments.
Also, notice how few Constitutional monarchies there are in the world. There are far fewer constitutional monarchies than other sorts of governments. There’s just not enough subjects in order to determine a causal link. There are 21 constitutional monarchies. Can you imagine a poll with only 21 subjects? No one would be stupid enough to declare that poll statistically important with that few people represented.
“No one would be stupid enough to declare that poll statistically important”
He went to Harvard.
This means he is above criticisms from the likes of you.
It’s also retarded to group all constitutional monarchies together since they take vastly different forms. For that matter, it’s idiotic to lump every other form of governance as one vast ‘other.’ I mean, you therefore are lumping in super-rich non-monarchies like the United States with dirt poor dictatorships like Cuba and North Korea. It’s very possible that all they actually proved is that constitutional monarchies are preferable to strong man dictatorships, which most of us would already have suspected.
There is the ocassional monarchist that I find interesting enough to subscribe to the newsletter.
SF’d the link so here’s the fix:
Anarcho-Monarchism
Abolish the Senate, and the House, and the Presidency. It would be a major step forward for liberty.
NPR is fapping to the 20th anniversary of the Beijing Conference on Women.
The UN wants “50/50 [parity] by 2030”
I say give it 5 more years. Seems like a plan!
Beijing sounds like the perfect venue.
“Do Parents Nurture Narcissists By Pouring On The Praise?”…
“Of course, self-esteem and narcissism are two very different things. The difference has to do with how you value yourself compared to other people. “Self-esteem basically means you’re a person of worth equal with other people,” Bushman tells Shots. “Narcissism means you think you’re better than other people.”…
“When he analyzed the results from the surveys, Bushman found that the more narcissistic children had parents who consistently overvalued their accomplishments. He ran additional tests to make sure that the parents weren’t narcissists, too ? after all, it’s possible that the children could be mirroring narcissistic behavior. But statistically, the children of narcissists aren’t more likely to be narcissists themselves….
“But this study has Bushman thinking about the way he praises his own children. “It’s a lot better to say ‘You worked really hard’ than ‘You must be really smart,’ ” he says, “because if you tell the kid that they’re smart and then if they fail they think ‘Oh I’m stupid.’ ” If the praise relates to effort, a child who fails will work harder next time.”
http://www.npr.org/blogs/healt…..the-praise
I tell my kids that it doesn’t matter how smart they are if they won’t work.
To paraphrase P. J. O’Rourke, the correlation between hard work and success is often overemphasized. Impoverished Africans have to walk 20 miles each day with giant buckets just to get water. Meanwhile, senior executives take the afternoon off to go golfing.
Weak ad hom. What did the senior executives do in the months, years and decades before being able to take the afternoon off and go golfing?
They carried water for their bosses.
The point is working productively is more important than working hard. And productivity necessarily entails a desire to achieve a given ends with as little effort as possible.
Head of Scotland Yard wants CCTV cameras in every home:
Police chief: ‘Put CCTV in every home’
Obligatory
Head of Scotland Yard friends with CCTV manufacturer?
Public service announcement: bench pressing is the tits. That is all.
Also, Primordial.
Teenage girls bench-press. Discuss.
I thought squatting was the tits? Anyway, the decline bench press is vastly superior to a flat bench for building useful strength in the pectorals.
Isn’t overhead press associated with rotator cuff injuries?
Incorrect overhead press may be, but not if done properly… but then again that describes the risks of all the major lifts and how they’ve gotten their undeserved reputations.
As for rotator cuffs, you’re thinking of kipping pullups among others
Lulz
The guy with the old school Probert mullet with the lines shaved on the side should have won.
That was awesome. Luke from Lakehill is a Hanson Brother!
Tundra, you forgot to mention that all is right with the world because Edina lost!
Well, the last sentence in the quote above is correct.
Or as I would call it: the “No Shit Club” presidential race.
Neither one will be nominated. They have no chance.
Good call.
Imma go with this
2 is a paraphrase of a Jars of Clay lyric
Wrong!
http://www.politico.com/news/s…..74051.html
The Obama Administration’s M855 Ammo Ban Is Blatantly Lawless
What difference does it make? The cocksucker does as he pleases. Fuck rule of law.
I still regularly run into people coasting off of 2008-era smug jerking themselves off attacking “OBAMA THE SECRET MUSLIM GONNA TAKE OUR GUNZ HURR” strawmen.
“Puttin on da foil, coach”