Ferret Legalization Coming to New York City Tomorrow?


Illegal ferret-owning New Yorkers are anxiously waiting the Board of Health's decision on whether to end its 15-year ban on ferrets this week.

As this morning's The Washington Post Express reports, if repealed in New York City, D.C. may follow suit:

Until the D.C. Council votes to add ferrets to the list of allowable pets, D.C. ferret owners live with the knowledge that their beloved "fur babies" could be taken.

Ferret-confiscation isn't the only fear owners live with in the nation's capitol:

The ban has more insidious effects, as well, [ferret owner] Bullock said. For instance, local ferret owners hesitate to take their pets to city vets, for fear of being turned in. "In an emergency situation, you might not have time to get to a vet in Virginia or Maryland," she said.

Check out Reason TV's 2013 video, "Ending the War on Ferrets," below for more on the fight to legalize ferrets:

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  1. Just where is Kmele Foster on all this? I think the ferret ban is what keeps him in NYC.

    1. Is he afraid of ferrets?

      1. I don’t know about Kmele, but I dropped by to say that ferrets are disgusting, vile-smelling, hell-worms that only deserve to be boiled alive and then skinned.

        1. Do you have a recipe?

          1. I was unable to find a recipe for ferret meat. It’s like the internet self-censored itself concerning the eating of ferrets.

            That is terrifying in and of itself.

      2. They covered this topic briefly on TI.

        Kmele was clearly skeeved out by ferrets.

        I got my one mention on two minutes of hate by pointing out that Kmele clearly had a ferret phobia.

  2. Where’s Dramatic Chipmunk when you need him? Probably with Kmele Foster.

  3. Forget about it Josh, it’s Hymie Town.

  4. Ferrets fucking stink like unwashed ass and old socks.
    That said how can you ban an animal? it seems about as logically consistent as banning a plant…

    1. Or the Sun.

      But authoritarian idiots are nothing if not enthusiastic in their fight against reality.

  5. So are ferrets like gerbils but for people who are bigger assholes?

    Asking for a friend…

    1. Ferrets are for people who recognize that sometimes even undercover police officer John Kimble needs help from a marmot every once in awhile.

      1. We’re going to play a wonderful game called… “Who is my daddy and what does he do?”

      2. Marmots (aka groundhogs, woodchucks, whistle-pigs, etc) are rodents. See below.

        1. Nice marmot, man.

      3. “I’m going to be spending a lot of time with you, Cindy…”

      4. “IT’S NOT A TUMOR!”

    2. They are like gerbils in the sense that both are mammals, but ferrets are members of the order carnivora (along with cats, dogs, bears and other weasels) whereas gerbils are members of the order rodentia (rats, mice, squirrels, beavers). Carnivores tend to be smarter and more interesting pets than rodents. Ferrets were originally kept for rodent control; they would put them behind the panelling and they’d take care of any rats in the walls.

      1. So – ferret eats gerbil, rock smashes scissors, paper wraps rock…

        got it! Thanks!

        1. Ferret eats gerbil, gerbil plows asshole, asshole owns ferret.

  6. I don’t see the point in legal ferrets unless NYC is going to establish a regulated ferret production and distribution system.

  7. Will NY then limit owners to 7-ferret magazines?

    1. We need reasonable, common-sense ferret regulations!

      1. No fully automatic ferret dispensing devices allowed. Think of the children.

        1. Don’t grab that ferret’s pistol grip.

          1. Black Ferrets with detachable magazines or bayonet lugs should clearly be outlawed.

            For the children!

  8. Once they’re legal, I’m gonna get a job running the ferret cannon at the local ballpark.

    1. Makes sense to load cannons with them, because they’re a cross between cats & torpedos. They act like it too.

  9. Yes but the important question is when they are going to outlaw squirrels? Especially of the server variety

  10. my friend’s sister-in-law makes $63 /hour on the internet . She has been fired from work for 6 months but last month her payment was $16955 just working on the internet for a few hours. go to the website…….

    ????? http://www.netjob70.com

  11. The authorities should ferret out these illegal pets.

    ALTERNATE JOKE: “Hey, buddy, wanna but a ferret? It’s cheap because it just fell off the ferret truck.”

    1. *buy* a ferret

      1. Nah. Butt a ferret is much better. Because gerbils.

  12. Let’s not forget – let’s not forget, Dude – that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city – that ain’t legal either.

  13. Good news for Frank Burns.

  14. Funny the way my mind can wander into someplace & get stuck there. Yrs. ago when a friend had a ferret, I imagined Elmer Fudd getting ferrets to finally ferret out Bugs Bunny, and then once he did, the ferrets bred & multiplied in his home. Then I imagined him singing to the tune of “Heartaches”:

    Fewwets, fewwets…
    This pwace is ovewwun with fewwets.
    They’re awways biting me aww the time….

    And I hear that being sung in my head every time I think of ferrets now.

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