Sex

Our Searches, Ourselves: What Google Says About Our Sexual Psyches

We like big butts, for one thing.

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brizzlebornandbred/Flickr

Some of our most-persistant perceptions about sexual turn-ons and anxieties may be challenged by Google search data.

Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, an author, data researcher, and former Google analyst, parsed sex-related Google searches in a recent New York Times op-ed. Contrary to what you might imagine, the results actually left him feeling better about humanity. 

Online search data about sex certainly can't be extrapolated to the U.S. population overall—it's "suggestive, not definitive," Stephens-Davidowitz reminds us. But what people look-up most frequently from the privacy of their own browsers can still be telling. For example:

  • The overwhelming majority of questions users ask about "my penis" relate to fears that it's too small or a desire to make it bigger, while more than 40 percent of queries about a partner's penis were concerned with the organ being too big
  • Men's second-most-common sex query is how to last longer during intercourse. Meanwhile, there are "roughly the same number of searches asking how to make a boyfriend climax more quickly as climax more slowly." 
  • Interest in how to make one's butt bigger has quadrupled between 2010 and 2014, with more searches for how to get a bigger butt than how to get a smaller butt in every state last year.
  • There are more searchers concerning boyfriends who "won't have sex" than girlfriends who won't. For "husband" and "wife," these searches are roughly the same.

Check out Stephens-Davidowitz's full sex-search analysis for more. For data on the most common sexual kinks, check out this survey from last November. 

NEXT: WATCH: America's Worst School System Will Soon Be Dead. Will What Replaces It Be Any Better?

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  1. There are more searchers concerning boyfriends who “won’t have sex” than girlfriends who won’t.

    There is something deeply wrong with the under 30 male population in this country. I have know too many good looking 20 something women who can’t get their boyfriends to have sex with them for them all to be fag hags in denial. I don’t know what the hell is going on with the yutes, but whatever it is it is not good.

    1. Maybe too many preservatives in food, or too much radiation from electronic devices. Or maybe they are withholding sex ironically.

      1. I’m guessing Mommy issues.

      2. As an unreconstructed heterosexual, I find the entire thing appalling. It is unAmerican and deviant to have a hot girlfriend and not have sex with her.

        1. No matter how hot the chick is some dude somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit.

          1. There is no shame in dumping a hot chick. But dating one and putting up with her shit and then not having sex with her even though she wants to? That is pathetic and frankly really deviant and weird.

          2. Who says they are hot? I want to see some weight data on these twentysomethings.

    2. 1. She won’t do that thing he saw on the internet.

      2. Hand + internet – emotions = better!

      3. He’s cheating.

      1. Number one is a sorry excuse. If she is saying yes to something, take it. Number two is so pathetic as to be beneath response in a PG rated publication. Number three makes no sense. Why would cheating stop you from having sex with your g/f? The whole point of cheating is to have sex with them both. If you are going to stop having sex with one, just make the other your girlfriend.

        1. The whole point of cheating is to have sex with them both.

          The point of cheating is too get something somewhere else that you can’t get with your main partner.

          Once you get that, combined with the thrill of getting away with it, I imagine interest declines somewhat.

          1. The point is that if you don’t want to have sex with your g/f anymore, you get a new one. The point of cheating is to have more or different sex in addition to what you have not to stop having the sex you are already getting.

            1. So, you speak for all cheaters now?

              1. The smart ones. Why the hell would you continue to date you g/f and cheat when you could just go get a new g/f? You are risking cheating for what? What the hell kind of a retard does that?

                1. ‘Cause people are never retarded, and they certainly never make poor decisions.

              2. “So, you speak for all cheaters now?”

                John does seem to have a very firm grasp on the psychology of a deviant adulterer, doesn’t he?

                1. Yes Irish. people who cheat do so because they like sex not because they don’t want to have sex anymore with the person they are with. That shouldn’t be a hard thing to understand but apparently it is.

                  1. “Yes Irish. people who cheat do so because they like sex not because they don’t want to have sex anymore with the person they are with. That shouldn’t be a hard thing to understand but apparently it is.”

                    I’m pretty sure both of these things can be true.

              3. I knew there was a group aching for a spokesperson.

            2. Well if you have the respectable girlfriend that’s boring in bed you might be inclined to stick with that, especailly if you are banging some tatted-up piece of trash that rocks your world but there is no way you’d ever introduce her to your friends, let alone your mom.

              1. Sure Restoras. But you would still bang the respectable one too. You might be bored, but she wouldn’t be.

        2. i thought the point of cheating what that you get sex without having to deal with your so…
          But as a noncheater, I wouldn’t know.

          1. If you are married and facing an expensive divorce, sure. But if you are not? No. The point of cheating is to get more sex, not to stop having the sex you already get.

            1. shows what I know.

        3. Sophisticated persons masturbate without compunction. They do it for reasons of health, privacy, thrift and because of the remarkable perfection of invisible partners.

          — P. J. O’Rourke

      2. No. 2 = ding ding ding. Until a few short years ago, real sex was less scarce than porn. Porn is now an unlimited free resource. Porn doesn’t have emotions and bullshit. Porn doesn’t require awkward courting rituals. Porn doesn’t have germs and odd scents. And one’s hand knows better than any other part of anyone’s body what works for you. Men are supposed to be largely visual in sexuality, so this shouldn’t be a surprising development. Many say this is a horrifying development and an epidemic of stunted growth. I say the world needs fewer children.

        1. Says the resident example of stunted growth.

    3. Too much soy. There’s a testosterone crisis in this country. What we need is a new food pyramid, and it needs to have red meat and Dianabol at the base.

      1. …and the bulgarian method for good measure.

      2. Pork in the middle, canned sardines at the pinnacle.

      3. Dinabol…lol…i remember when it was portrayed as hard core roids…now you got HGH from cadavers for fucks sake.

    4. That’s really weird. I wonder if this has anything to do with the college guy crowd being concerned about getting a baby mamma. Anybody know anyone that’s abstaining and why?

      1. I totally get that. But that is why God invented condoms and blowjobs.

        1. How could you, of all people, forget the buttsecks?

          /kidding

      2. Baby mama?? AYFSM?? The college guy crowd is too busy avoiding a rape accusation to be worried about a pregnancy.

    5. I have know(sic) too many good looking 20 something women who can’t get their boyfriends to have sex with them

      Known or like Known known?

      1. Oh God, if only.

    6. they are all fucking someone else.

    7. Now that I think about it, just picture that guy in the footy pajamas who loves Obamacare. That would explain it.

      1. Like I said, there is something deeply wrong with the yutes these days.

    8. Just because they’re not having sex with their hot girlfriend doesn’t mean they aren’t having sex with some other, newer hot girl. Everything gets old after a while.

      1. Not that old. And these girls never had very much sex to begin with with these guys. And again, you don’t cheat so you can stop having sex with your girlfriend. You cheat so you can have sex with your girlfriend and someone else. These guys are not cheating.

        1. Even filet mignon gets old eaten daily, and when you turn to another great food you don’t keep eating the filet everyday too.

          1. If you are fag maybe. For the rest of us even bad sex is still pretty fun.

            1. If the choice is between bad sex and good pizza, the choice is simple for me.

              1. yeah. i have to agree. especially if you eat the pizza before the option for bad sex comes up…

              2. You are not a guy Riven. Beyond that, why not have them both? There is nothing to say you can’t have the bad sex and then heat up the pizza afterwards?

                1. first of all- reheat the fucking pizza? what kind of monster are you?! Second, bad sex, is by definition, bad… why would you want a bad thing? it’s sad.

                2. Why would I even want bad sex? Any port in a storm? I’m just not that desperate.

                  1. i guess it depends on how long you’ve been out at sea…

                    1. If I was really hard up, went out and banged some dude, and it was awful, I wouldn’t be calling him back for Round 2, would I?

                      Oh, well, maybe if he had a great personality…

                    2. that’s how I got my wife. lost of awful sex but funny jokes during and afterwards.

            2. Maybe you’ve never had game to pull and keep a fine girl for as long as that while being able to have equally but different fine ones anytime you get tired.

              If you’re used to eating hot dogs of course you think you’d never get tired of by strip, but you would

              1. Sure, then you dump her. You don’t cheat on her. This is not a difficult concept.

                1. You might develop a taste for filet later though

          2. For the record: Filet Mignon is beef for people who don’t like the taste of beef. For a real steak you eat bone in Ribeye. And for the ultimate beef flavor you go hardcore and get Sirloin, bring a sharp knife. Hanger/Skirt/Brisket etc all have great flavor but are typically prepared with heavy seasoning and marinade to soften connective tissue. Ribeye should be served on a mooing steer…with a side of forest mushrooms (boletus edulus) and asparagus.

            1. i like it all, but filet I can eat raw. ribeye I need it black and blue.

              1. Ribeye is the king of steaks. My company took a few of us out the other night to a decent steak house, and I saw someone slather some kind of steak sauce all over his 10 ounce ribeye. I died inside a little.

                1. i don’t judge for that stuff anymore. some people have dead tastebuds, but don’t know it.

                  I’m very libertarian when it comes to tongues.

                  1. I judged. Silently.

                    And then I finished my 14 ounce ribeye.

        2. Given the weird rape-culture, false accusation, feminist vibe college campuses have now, I’m not that surprised.

          If were 20, I’d rather bang a townie chick working retail than a Gender Studies Major.

          1. For sure. But that was true 20 years ago. You want no part of some neurotic crazy hate studies chick.

            1. Back then those chicks didn’t shave their legs or armpits, and were quite likely not to put out anyway.

              My college room-mate hooked up with some chick from Columbia U who referred to herself in he third person. He ate her out, and she then said “xxxx doesn’t fuck” and rolled over and went to sleep.

              I’d never advocate rape, but I’d have beat off into her ear at that point.

    9. They’re jacking it too much to have actual sex, thats the problem.

      1. That is the most deviant thing I have ever heard in my life.

        1. Really? I think some posters could top that level of deviancy without even trying.

          1. More deviant than a glass plate job from a furry?

  2. Men’s second-most-common sex query is how to last longer during intercourse.

    That’s dumb. You last exactly as long as you need to.

    1. Ah, the Gandalf corollary.

      1. Wait, what has Gandalf been up to?

        1. ‘A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives comes precisely when he means to.’

          1. I prefer the rule we use in the military, if you’re not 5 mins early, you’re 5 mins late. …The former is sober, the latter is, well, not

            1. That rule makes no sense. If you’re 4 mins early, are you still 5 mins late?

  3. “There are more searchers concerning boyfriends who “won’t have sex” than girlfriends who won’t. For “husband” and “wife,” these searches are roughly the same.”

    The secret is to belittle, whine, and complain–constantly.

    If you’re a woman, and your significant other doesn’t hardly want to look at you, much less touch you anymore, to the point that he hardly even takes notice of what you’re saying? Then by all means, make his life a living hell of complaining and deprecation–until he falls in love with you again.

    No, that strategy has never worked, but then I’ve never seen a woman abandon that strategy after trying it either–so they must be getting something out of it.

    1. But I am thinking the real nags are too self absorbed to even notice their b/f isn’t interested anymore.

  4. But what I really want to know is if you can kill a spider hanging from a thread with a bullet.

    1. Only just prior to auto-erotic asphyxiation.

    2. *swats spider with paper, picks up bullet the spider dropped, hands it to Busab, tosses paper on table, walks away casually*

      1. For your smart-assery, I’ll be conducting my firearms enhanced spider-killing experiments at your house.

    3. Can you nail a six inch spike through a 2×4 with your penis?

      (No, but I am working on it)

      1. CMON!!!! Someone needs to get this movie!

        1. best use of popcorn evah

          1. Finally.

            1. thank god

  5. I only google myself to see what fans have Photoshopped my face on someone else’s body.

  6. Part of it might be the relentless shaming of men for having the audacity to look at women as sex partners.

  7. “There are more searchers concerning boyfriends who “won’t have sex” than girlfriends who won’t.”

    Are there that many insecure women out there? Good lord. If you’re a woman who isn’t morbidly obese or 80 years old you can find a guy to have sex with you literally walking down the street. Not that it should be a goal. But it at least shouldn’t be a problem to find another boyfriend who isn’t gay or addicted to porn or whatever the issue is.

    1. it’s not about having sex with anyone. it’s about having sex with the one you want to.

      1. it’s about having sex with the one you want to.

        Just so.

      2. I know, but unless your self-esteem is shot the “one you want to” should change when something that should be easily obtainable suddenly isn’t. Why waste your time? To me it would be better to be single than be in a relationship with someone who isn’t attracted to me. They’re not married. It’s easy to leave.

        1. I don’t know. why did Shakespeare write sonnets? why are there love songs? why do guys by a girl multiple drinks?

          1. Google knows

          2. guy vs girl…totally different. As the saying goes “A girl knows whether she is getting laid tonight or not. A guy can not say the same.”

            1. Female privilege!

              Actually, when females are chasing other females, the logic fails. You just don’t know with other chicks.

              1. i thought everyone knew with GHB. Better living through chemistry.

              2. cause chicks be fucking crazy…

                I have two different lesbian friends (they don’t know each other) that have apologized on behalf of all females (unnecessary of course) for chicks being bat shit crazy. I have had ex-girlfriends say to me “I know I am being crazy but stil…”

                1. cause chicks be fucking crazy…

                  Preach

    2. Apparently, you’ve never been with the same woman for…more than a few years.

      My advice to those women is to:

      a) Be nice to him–for a whole week.

      Make him think that you find him handsome, smart, and physically intimidating to his enemies.

      then b) get him drunk.

      The problem is that most women in that situation can’t bring themselves to be nice to him for a whole week; just like most guys at that point can’t bring themselves to listen to her talk for more than a few minutes. It just turns into blah, blah, blah…my sister is coming for two weeks…blah, blah, blah…

      Your idiot sister is what?!

      1. Just as an aside, from back in my fundie days, I knew this fundamentalist girl, who was getting married. She’d lived a very sheltered life, by which I mean…not only was she a virgin–she hardly knew anything about sex. …certainly not about how a guy’s physiology works.

        So, anyway, she’s going through customs in some god forsaken country on her honeymoon, and when they go through her baggage they find a case of condoms–a whole case–containing 1,000 condoms. They asked her what she was doing with so many condoms, and she explained that it was her honeymoon–and they were going to be there for a few days.

        They ended up holding this fundie girl as a suspected prostitute–or leader of a prostitution ring. …which is fucking hilarious. It took quite a while for her new husband to get them to buy that she was just completely clueless.

      2. “Apparently, you’ve never been with the same woman for…more than a few years.”

        Whatever, bro, I was with my mom for like 20.

        1. As long as you were of legal age, I don’t think the government should get involved.

  8. Oh, ENB, you always deliver. Just don’t ever do any Reason TV spots or some of us may never leave our bunks…

  9. Maybe these “women” are transwomen who can’t figure out why they’re boyfriends were into them before they saw the penis.

  10. Welp, I think we can add sexless relationships to John’s trigger list..

    1. No shit.

      Just remember, people only cheat for one reason–more sex.

      1. Also, you always want to have sex with both at the same time. That’s a given.

        1. with hilarious consequences, I’m guessing

      2. is this settled science?

        1. How to drive John to a stroke: Be a cheater who does it for the emotional satisfaction while wearing body armour and proclaiming negative things about Lincoln.

      3. Just remember, people only cheat for one reason–more sex.

        And body armor?

    2. John hasn’t had sex in probably 30 years. No regular here has sex. Nobody who believes the shit you people believe and possesses the laughably misplaced narcissism you people posses has sex with anyone you’re not paying.

  11. Right before this comment, I looked at the comment count and it was at 69, dude!

  12. Not for nothing, but who uses Google for sex stuff? They don’t even link to the good stuff on the first page.

  13. You all are pervs

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