Barack Obama

That Time You Should Have Sent President Obama Birthday Presents from SkyMall


SkyMall, the truly ridiculous inflight catalog company, has filed for bankruptcy. The only question is: What took so long? Did anyone anywhere ever buy anything from the purveyors of so much high-concept garbage (their big selling item, it turned out was the "Garden Sasquatch").

The market is a harsh mistress, I'll tell you what. You may recall that back in June 2012, the Obama campaign actually suggested that in lieu of giving gifts to your loved one's upcoming birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and what have you, you should consider giving CASH to…the Obama campaign. Yes, this from the re-election effort of the very guy who was just bitching and moaning about money in politics in his penultimate State of the Union Address:

Instead of another gift card you'll forget to use, ask your friends and family for something that will go a little further: a donation to Obama for America. Register your next celebration—whether it's a birthday, bar or bat mitzvah, wedding, or anniversary—with the Obama campaign. It's a great way to show your support for a cause that's important to you on your big day.

At the time, I suggested that instead of giving just another cash gift to a politician who set record upon record for campaign dollars, you might think instead of giving him a gift from SkyMall. Such as:

1. Skyrest Travel Pillow

As the 2012 Election season gets fully underway in the summer months, POTUS will be spending even more time than usual on airplanes, buses, low-speed trains, and stagecoaches as he tours the cities, towns and hamlets of this sweet land of liberty to meet and greet voters.

SkyMall's Skyrest Travel Pillow costs just $29.95 and when uninflated fits in even the smallest carry-on bag. You just blow it up, then pass out from hyperventilation, and then "simply lean forward and snooze, and the miles will fly by."

Will also work for Joe Biden, while running no accidental smothering risk.

Go here for 4 more great gift ideas.

Alas, the window on SkyMall has closed. But there's always As Seen On TV, now advertising "Dump Dinners" if you're thinking of a gift for your favorite president:

NEXT: Bill Keller Talks the Future of Criminal Justice Journalism

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  1. Now I can never get him, that electronic scalp massager-hemet! He would have looked dreamy!

  2. In other Obamessiah-(swt)-related news:

    Obama gets pass on describing being gay as ‘lifestyle choice’

    The special pleading, it burns! But no, the LGBT media and activist organizations aren’t just shills for Team Blue.

    1. He’s evolving you know. So it’s ok.

      1. Democrats have always gotten a pass on their stance on homosexuality. Because apparently not pushing as hard to ban something equals the good guys. Not until 2012 did the Democrats actually switch their position on gay marriage, and it took a gaff from Joe Biden to accomplish that.

    2. David Badash, a New York-based advocate and editor of The New Civil Rights Movement, said he believes Obama, unlike others, knows being gay isn’t a choice despite his choice of words in the YouTube interview.

      Yeah, yet more “don’t judge Obama by his words or deeds, but by what I believe is truly in his heart” balderdash. Sure, he might have just days ago applauded King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia for having “the courage of his convictions” when said convictions include being indistinguishable from ISIS in regards to crimes which include the death penalty for homosexuality, but, quick look over there! Republicans! Wealth inequality! War on Women!

    3. “I think people know that treating folks unfairly, even if you disagree with their lifestyle choice, the fact of the matter is, they’re not bothering you. Let them live their lives, and under the law, they should be treated equally.”

  3. Too bad for them that they weren’t ‘too big to fail’. Because if they were they would have gotten one HUGE Christmas present from Saint Barak the tax payers.

  4. I can’t wrap my mind around this until I have my huevos rancheros and mimosa. Back in a few.

    1. Make extra for me?

      1. We’re going out. I’m not allow to mess up the kitchen again until dinner.

        1. Just do a Dump Dinner version. Ready in minutes!

          1. I’ve already head a couple of those this week

  5. This reminds me that my biggest problem with Obama isn’t his policy decisions. Sure, I don’t like those. But he’s a politician. I’m not going to like them, most likely.

    No, what gets me about him is that he’s about the biggest narcissist I’ve ever encountered. Except his narcissism gets fed by all the people who praise him for every single thing he does, no matter what it is. Even when he’s throwing those same people under the bus to feed his own ego.

    1. The problem is there’s this feedback loop where people considered themselves personally more moral and righteous just for voting from him. When he turned into Bush Part II: Electric Boogaloo instead of a Lightworker who trumpeted that “generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth,” well… reevaluating might cause all those warm self-righteous fuzzies to stop. It’s not just a repudiation of Obama, but themselves and their worldview.

      I think it was Suthenboy in the comments of some other article who mentioned showing the “under my plan… electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket” Youtube clip to somebody, who would then immediately forget it until shown again. I read that article too late for comments to be seen, but I laughed because the exact same thing happened to me with somebody claiming that DEA raids on medical marijuana had stopped under the Obama administration. It’s the 21st century, I can just take out my cell phone and show within seconds direct contradiction, but, nope. Gotta be the fault of one of those obstructionists I’ve heard so much about.

      1. Putting up with his bullshit is a small price to pay for a post-racial America.

        1. That is so true. Isn’t it awesome how non-divisive politics has been lately?!?!?!

  6. Dump Dinners “Just dump and bake.” Perfect if you are having shit on a shingle for dinner.

  7. Dump and Bake, for those days when Wake and Bake is just too early to toke up.

  8. I managed to pick up 100 of the Sky Mall zombie-climbing-out-of-the-ground very cheap. Let’s meet on the White House lawn to plant them

  9. I would assume that SkyMall’s “business”, such as it was, was based on people with low sales resistance being trapped on a plane with nothing to do but read their catalog. In the age of smartphones, tablets, and in-flight entertainment centers, their supply of suckers was cut off.

  10. SkyMall was a great catalog (there was even a song made about it) where you could get gift ideas and get them for half the price somewhere else.

    You may as well have filled the passenger compartment with Adam&Eve; catalogs. At least you would get something useful for a reasonable price.

  11. The quirkiness of SkyMall’s selection was a result of the market. Within a year of launching the magazine, its owner figured out people for some reason preferred the odd products over the mundane and everyday…

  12. DUMP ‘N’ BAKE!! How appetizing is that?!?!

    1. I can’t figure out how that got past marketing…

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