Friday Funnies: Who Can't Be Indicted?

Comments

[UnCivilServant]

"I can't breath"? Really, you have one line of dialogue in this cartoon and you flubbed it?

[WTF]

He took extra care for donation week, to make sure we are aware of the quality we are getting here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A. Pimply choad
B. Business lesbian
C. Soccer match gone awry

[invisible furry hand]

We're not interested in your plans for the weekend

[Fist of Etiquette]

You know that's a lie.

[Ted S.]

Yeah; everybody knows you're going to spend the weekend with Warty's mom.

[Swiss Servator, Winter kommt!]

Mom?

I thought he was a terrifying result of a quantum experiment gone awry?

[sarcasmic]

I thought his kind reproduced by fission. You know, like other bacteria.

[Poppa Kilo]

+1 Starship Troopers (book, not movie)

RAH!

[WTF]

Wait a minute, let's not be hasty.

*SLAP!*

[invisible furry hand]

*slap!*

[Almanian!]

*SLAP!*

[sarcasmic]

[Clich? Bandit]

ooooooo....swing and a amiss.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Choad...

I don't think I've heard that since junior high.

[Florida Man]

What is in the ham sandwich's hand? Is that a ham sandwich? Is this some meta commentary on cannabilism? Why are there no labels to explain this to me?

[WTF]

Yeah, why does the ham sandwich have arms and legs? Is this some kind of weird Disney movie gone wrong? Why does the ham sandwich need to be anthropomorphic?

[Florida Man]

It doesn't make sense. A wookiee....on Endor.

[Steve G]

arms, hell, why does it have cuffs and no shirt?!

[Steve G]

umm, nevermind, those aren't shirt cuffs. haven't had my caffeine this am

[Florida Man]

those aren't shirt cuffs.

Is it a space station?

[Swiss Servator, Winter kommt!]

That's no moon!

[Steve G]

It's a trap! ...eh, close enough

[gaijin]

What is in the ham sandwich's hand?

It's a ham-handed attempt at humor.

[invisible furry hand]

Damn you. Damn you to hell

[eyeroller]

And why does the ham sandwich contain only cheese?

[JW]

99 has really let herself go.

[Ted S.]

Looks fit, for a cop.

[Florida Man]

She was a secret agent. They have completely different standards of fitness.

[LynchPin1477]

1) This awful
2) It seems more critical of Rick Perry's indictment

[Svenster]

A tee-shirt with 99? Did he forget what he was drawing and slip into Occupy Wall Street mode again?

[Florida Man]

The officer was wearing a shirt with 99 on it.

[Almanian!]

"I got 99 probolems
And your breath ain't one
CHOKE ME!"

[Florida Man]

Counterfly and now you too. I can't help but laugh at these kind of jokes and then I feel bad.

[Will4Freedom]

That's a tricky question. I mean, that ham sandwich is violating a Muslim's religion, so... I'm going to say D. None of the above.

[Almanian!]

Yeah, he totally forgot D, "that racist white cop in Ferguson, MO who killed an unarmed, black, gentle giant."

NOW IT'S NOT SO SIMPLE TO ANSWER, IS IT, BOK CHOY?

Fucking horrible. Awful. Execrable.

Therefore - perfect. Happy fucking Friday, Reasonoids. I hope you all get choked to death by a racist cop on your way to confess your mortal sins, and may you spend the rest of eternity in whatever your [non]religion's version of Hell is.

Have a great weekend!!! Off to do community service* for the day...

*srsly

*no, really...

[Florida Man]

Court mandated or voluntary?

[Almanian!]

That's a bit personal...

[Florida Man]

Sorry.

[Almanian!]

Also,

B. Wow - Janet Reno has lost some weight!

[Bee Tagger]

Bonfire of the Insanities, amiright?

[Almanian!]

If I were sage, I would say,

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[BakedPenguin]

Good cartoon.

The Onion weighs in on this.

[sarcasmic]

I thought the Onion was satire? That looks like an accurate story to me.

[UnCivilServant]

They got cited so many times as serious they decided that there was an opening for actual journalism and moved into the gaping void in the market.

[Knarf Yenrab!]

Breath?

[PBR Streetgang]

First they came for the silent vowels, and I said nothing, for I was not a silent vowel...

[AlmightyJB]

Can't or Won't

[Juice]

Came here to say this. The prosecutors could indict if they wanted to.

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[alecbeckson]

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[SQRLSY One]

Ham sandwiches are abhorrent to Jews, Muslims, AND Vegetariacs... Also to the pigs, pigsters, and hoggatards amongst us, who object to being EATEN, fer Chrissakes?!?!? WHY then in the Sacred Name of Government Almighty. should NOT the ham sandwich (and those who serve them) be indicted?!?!? WHY, I ask? Why NOT? Especially if it stimulates the economy by putting more money into the hands of prosecutors, lawyers, judges, jailors, etc. ?!?!?!

[SQRLSY One]

My own wild made-up verbiage here has gotten even me, who wrote the words, confused... If a vegetarian is one who eats veggies, is then a Rotarian, one who eats rotors? Or maybe, who eats rotifers? I am not sure how that relates to hoggatards or hoggatarians? PLEASE HELP!!! Any Rotarians out there, care to explain?!?!?