Rand Paul Votes Against NSA Reform Bill, Sex Offenders Don't Have to Give Up Internet Names, Netflix Shelves Cosby Special: A.M. Links

• 

  fuzzcat/Flickr

  The USA Freedom Act, aimed at curbing National Security Agency surveillance abuses, fell two votes short of the 60 it needed to proceed to the Senate floor. Sen. Rand Paul voted against the bill because it would have extended a Patriot Act provision allowing for phone records searches. 

• The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that a California law intended to fight sex trafficking violates the First Amendment by requiring registered sex offenders to turn over email addresses, Internet names, and other Web information. 
• Netflix is postposing a planned Bill Cosby comedy special in the wake of accusations that the comedian sexually assaulted several women, including supermodel Janice Dickinson. 
• Uber said Tuesday that it's investigating the claim that one of its top executives tracked a Buzzfeed reporter who was writing a story about the company. 
• District of Columbia residents will face fines for not shoveling snow from sidewalks in front of their property this winter. 
• Bob Marley's family is launching an international marijuana brand called Marley Natural that will sell "heirloom Jamaican cannabis strains" and cannabis-infused lotions. 

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[Fist of Etiquette]

Netflix is postposing a planned Bill Cosby comedy special in the wake of accusations that the comedian sexually assaulted several women, including supermodel Janice Dickinson.

There's an Orange is the New Black joke in there somewhere.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

'District of Columbia residents will face fines for not shoveling snow from sidewalks in front of their property this winter.'

What do you mean by 'in front'? Like on the street? Isn't that the city's job?

[Tonio]

According to TFA, it means sidewalks.

[WTF]

Good thing AGW has rendered snow in DC a thing of the past.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Past week?

[WTF]

That's just weather, not climate. You libertardians think a rare snow anomaly disproves AGW, when all the experts agree the science is settled and the earth is boiling.
/Tony

[Mike M.]

Be careful, or that idiot Zeb might come along to tell everyone once again that this all annoys him, even though it has been made clear to him on multiple occasions that nobody gives a fucking crap what does or doesn't annoy him.

[The DerpRider]

Uh oh. Don't make weather is climate jokes here anymore. It's verboten.

[Restoras]

In places where houses have sidewalks in front of them I believe it is not uncommon for the homeowner to be responsible for clearing the snow on the sidewalk. At least that's how it was in the little town where I grew up.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Here it's the city's job. Although, it's not a bad thing if a pro-active home owner does it but then again, who knows if some districts or municipalities have laws against civic duties of that sort?

These days you never know.

[Emmerson Biggins]

If I were a judge, the 13th Amendment would apply here. Of course I don't have the decoder ring that lets me read between the lines the same our current judiciary does.

[Juice]

You're "responsible" for it being clear. You aren't necessarily forced to shovel it yourself or do any labor to make it happen. That's the reasoning anyway.

[Steve G]

Cool, can I fine pedestrians for not wearing shoe ice grippers on my sidewalk?

[Juice]

It's the District's sidewalk so no. Also "your" front yard is actually the District's front yard. Your property line starts at your front door in DC. Not kidding.

[Bryan C]

As a special bonus, anyone using a snow-shovel on a public sidewalk will now be granted automatic membership in the local chapter of the SEIU. Your mandatory union dues will be collected by city employees recently promoted from snow-shoveling duty.

[MJGreen]

When this happens in the next few years, I'm blaming you.

[The DerpRider]

Home health care worker nodding sagely...

[Emmerson Biggins]

Solution?

dig up sidewalk in middle of night when nobody is looking.

Same sort of principle applies to the Endangered Species act. If there is some bird that nobody has seen in 30 years, and you see it on your property, shoot it fast and keep your mouth shot.

There should be a phrase for these kind of incentives. All I can think of now though is "Tragedy of the Public Privates" .... which has other unfortunate connotations.

[XM]

'District of Columbia residents will face fines for not shoveling snow from sidewalks in front of their property this winter.'

What is this "snow" that you speak of? Is it related to "rain"?

- So Cal lifer

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Uber said Tuesday that it's investigating the claim that one of its top executives tracked a Buzzfeed reporter who was writing a story about the company.

Surprisingly this pisses off more journalists than when a Democratic administration does it.

[Doctor Whom]

Surprisingly?

[LynchPin1477]

They're more comfortable with the government. The government has already seen them naked.

[gaijin]

BUt isn't the Uber CEO a former WH insider? I mean, you'd think they would dig one of their own going undercover for the revolution.

[SugarFree]

The left-web has this insane hard-on for Uber. Gawker has a dedicated site that is filled with Uberhate and general techie class war.

[antisocial-ist]

Strange, I thought all the hipsters loved Uber. I guess its just the gut reaction to anyone who's not asking permission or obeying orders.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

They're afraid of catcalling or rape increasing exponentially without proper regulations and permits.

[MJGreen]

Hipsters and well-to-do millenials love Uber. I don't think the average Gawker shrieker is a hipster. I'd look at the comments on Gothamist or something.

[VG Zaytsev]

We can't have people engaging in voluntary exchange with each other without government intermediation.

Don't need the plebs getting any crazy ideas about not needing top men.

[SugarFree]

The most common complaint is "needs regulation!"

That whole site is dedicated to using the government to punish anyone attempting to make money through innovation.

[BigT]

My three lefty kids love Uber. This development has caused at least two of them to reconsider the magnificence of government regulation - although they are still very blue. I think that Uber and AirBnB will open up a lot of eyes and closed minds.

[SweatingGin]

I love the neo-luddites getting going on Uber and everything else, really.

My fun saying for them is:

"Of course, if the people of a particular area, through their elected representatives, decide to grant economic rents to a particular industry, it should be a crime for anyone to try to work against that. Of course a particular area can and should be able to grant cartel status to particular industries, and must enforce that!"

Then they yell at me and tell me it isn't as safe as taxis.

[Steve G]

it isn't as safe as taxis

They have proof of this of course?

[UnCivilServant]

Their feelz!

[MOFO.]

I wouldn't be surprised if they were hired to do it. Its not like the gawker people have even a small shred of integrity.

[Tonio]

Uber and AirBnB. Anything which thumbs its nose at state control.

[Emmerson Biggins]

It's been deemed officially "Problematic". There is no coming back from that.

[Sevo]

"Surprisingly this pisses off more journalists than when a Democratic administration does it."

This got front-page coverage at the SF Chron, and the 'keyword' over the lede was 'tech news', as if it makes a comment regarding tech in general.
This from a paper which has yet to mention some guy named Gruber.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that a California law intended to fight sex trafficking violates the First Amendment by requiring registered sex offenders to turn over email addresses, Internet names, and other Web information.

The NSA is being stingy with perverts' email archives?

[Ted S.]

The NSA ?re the perverts.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Let's be honest. Sure we beat her like a rented mule, but is there any doubt that if history had unfolded differently and Hillary had become president we wouldn't be in better shape today? I mean, she would at least be engaged, right? You know Hillary wouldn't blow off her daily intel briefings like Obama is known to do. And having been burned before, she wouldn't have touched health care, except maybe to nibble around the edges. Can you imagine her carrying out Obama's favorite credibility-shredding trick of setting a red-line in Syria or Ukraine or wherever, only to pretend like it was never a big deal when the autocrat in question laughingly calls our bluff? Say what you will about her, and it's not like I'm ever gonna vote for her, but the bitch has balls Obama can only fantasize about.

[gaijin]

What ifs...if onlys...not sure I buy any of that

[Rufus J. Firefly]

She made a victim of a rape victim.

Imagine what she would do to a country.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Imagine what she would do to a this country

[VG Zaytsev]

Plus the media would have held accountable to some degree.

[Atanarjuat]

I'm not so sure about this. I think they would favor her for the same reasons they favor Obama.

I doubt she'd be much less startlingly incompetent than Obama has been, either, but the media would cover for her because of her gender, leftism, and their power-worship.

[VG Zaytsev]

Fear of racism is Obama's ultimate protection.

I'm sure they'd be biased in her favor but no where to the degree that they've been towards Bammy.

[WTF]

Who would dare criticize the first woman President? Because, sexism, patriarchy, etc.

[BigT]

Hillary wouldn't blow off her daily intel briefings like Obama is known to do

Benghazi

[WTF]

What difference at this point does it make?

[Pro Libertate]

You could debate her that way. Whatever the question, you just say, "Benghazi." I don't think there's even a truth believer who thinks she has clean hands. They just don't care.

[Pro Libertate]

She's shown a dramatic lack of competence in just about everything she's done so far. She's neither a good leader nor a good decision-maker. She shares one of Obama's greatest flaws, which viewing everything through a political lens. Most politicians only do that 95% of the time. And she's even more antagonistic than Obama.

So no, not really seeing any good from her, either.

[Tonio]

[I]s there any doubt that if history had unfolded differently and Hillary had become president we wouldn't be in better shape today?

Yes, quite a bit of doubt. Because that would be an entirely different universe and we don't know what events would have happened, not happened (think 9/11) or happened differently.

Thought exercises like yours are amusing but unproductive.

[Emmerson Biggins]

I agree, at least in a probabilistic sense. Can't know for sure, but I think Obama-level of shittiness would be at least a below average performance for her.

Allthough, it's possible that Obamacare was so shittily done, that it's actually repealable. And if it is repealed I think it'll take at least 20 years before they even try that shit again. So I dunno where I stand on this exactly.

[John Titor]

I've been to that worldline. It ain't pretty.

[SugarFree]

Jezebel's pet gelding complains about men who still have balls.

[Doctor Whom]

A commenter wants us to believe that it's not the same when women take up extra space for their purses and shopping bags. Please discard your masks in the MTA-provided receptacles.

[LynchPin1477]

I have testicles, they're fairly sizeable (physically, not metaphorically)

I believe half of that.

[trshmnster the terrible]

This has to be the most pointless waste of bandwidth since nyancat.

[UnCivilServant]

Oh, come on, Nyan Cat at least got a smile from some people. This sounds like it's more radiating bitterness.

[Colonel Slanders]

Thanks for that link. I'm now 10% dummer than I was prior to having read it. (I know, its Jezebel....)

[Ted S.]

I'm now 10% dummer than I was prior to having read it.

Apparently, reading that article took away your spelling ability.

[UnCivilServant]

Well, it did impede his cognitive functions.

[Colonel Slanders]

Actually it impeded my typing abilities... Ugh.

[Pro Libertate]

Could I get a list of the Gawker writers who are XY and those who are XX?

[SugarFree]

Could I get a list of the Gawker writers who are XY and those who are XX?

A pretty good rule of thumb is to assume they were born the opposite of how they present now.

[Pro Libertate]

Seriously, why? Is it there is one at the top who is bringing on the confused?

I'm fine with people doing whatever they want as long as they don't hurt other people, but I'm also sitting here thinking that's kind of fucked up. Why do people have so much trouble accepting who they are?

[Suthenboy]

I am so glad they published that. This is a very serious issue that needs to be discussed at great length.

[Zeb]

If you really need to sit like that, you should probably reassess your underpants choices.

But is this really a problem?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The USA Freedom Act, aimed at curbing National Security Agency surveillance abuses, fell two votes short of the 60 it needed to proceed to the Senate floor.

Might as well called it the Hitler Act.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

You know who else....damn it, Fist!

[Jerryskids]

The problem with this "reform" attempt falling two votes short is that some people are going to see this as a mandate for the Feds to keep on keeping on with all their completely legal, ethical, necessary, proper and effective terrorist surveillance that sees anyone who exhibits a preference for not being treated like a terrorist as a terrorist. They've already gotten away with multiple "fuck off and die"s to anybody who objects to the police state, this is just evidence that most people love a police state.

Why we have streetlamps along the roads and Home Depots that sell rope and nobody is putting the ropes and the streetlamps and the top men in the intelligence community to the obvious good use is beyond me.

[Cdr Lytton]

And cardboard signs around their necks reading Sic Semper Tyrannis.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It rubs the cannabis infused lotion on its skin if it wants to get the buzz again.

[waffles]

I quit my job last week but still have to go to work. Why is it that employers get to kick my ass out the door with little to no notice and I have to spend two weeks tying up every loose end?

Also you all lied. As far as I can tell I'm the only one who quit my job. You were supposed to quit my job too.

[Ted S.]

Have you seen me show up at your job?

[waffles]

You're here right now aren't you?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

It's coming from inside the house!

[Ted S.]

The comment is coming from inside the building.

[DJF]

Whats making you stay?

[waffles]

Misplaced professional ethics and responsibility. I blame my parents and their stupid values.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I once wrote a professional 'I resign' letter to a bunch of unprofessional kids running an Internet 'live stream' racket who were making millions.

I regret that enormously. I shoulda just shown my middle finger and walked out.

[Ted S.]

So you're the one making $17301 on the Internet for just a few hours each month? 😉

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Remove five digits.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Do I get to pick which hand?

[UnCivilServant]

IF I'm selling my books over the internet, is that 'making money on the internet'?

[gaijin]

If you use the INternet to send email as part of your job duties, then you are making money through the Internet.

[UnCivilServant]

Suppose my mail all goes to people in the same organization, but our e-mail is being hosted in the cloud?

[gaijin]

I'd say yes...You are still making money through the internet...albeit indirectly. It's like saying a carpenter makes his money with a hammer...even when he's making cabinets to store his co-workers tools.

[The Hyperbole]

By the by, UnCiv, I just finished Shadowboy. It didn't suck, good job!

[UnCivilServant]

Thanks.

That's probably the most succinct review I've gotten so far. The sequel is up for pre-order if you're interested.

[The Hyperbole]

Feel free to use it as a blurb.

[SugarFree]

Every time my boss wants me to do something annoying, I tell her when I quit I'm just going to wipe my hard drive and walk out. And I occasionally go into her office and fart in her chair.

[trshmnster the terrible]

You should switch all of her pencaps so that they're on the wrong colors. That'll show her!

[SugarFree]

She's so OCD, it really would drive her nuts.

But she brings pies in often, so I don't want to make her too angry.

[trshmnster the terrible]

Are they artificially sweetened pies?

[SugarFree]

No, they are edible pies. Oatmeal pecan was the last one. I think she is trying to kill me.

[Rich]

And don't forget the ol' tape over the telephone mic connection gag!

[UnCivilServant]

We don't use the phone all that much, scotch tape over the optical sensor on the mouse is much more effective at pranking IT newbies (all of the people who've been around have seen it already though)

[derpules]

lock her computer and add a space to her username

[Rufus J. Firefly]

My former sr. partner at an investment firm used to call me on the office phone and say 'could you pop in for a second' every morning.

It used to grate me so much it pushed me into opening a business.

I don't do authority well, imagine a simple request to 'pop in'.

[SugarFree]

Ah, yes. The "pop in." Grr.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Make that a Louie DePalma 'grrrr'.

[Restoras]

I love the 'pop in' at 5:00pm that goes for an hour. Best. Evah.

[gaijin]

Hello Rufus, whats happening? Ummm, I'm gonna need you to go ahead pop in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmmk... oh oh! and I almost forgot ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and pop in on Sunday too, kay. We ahh lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up.

And can you run those TPS reports? mmkay. great

[Crusty Juggler]

Someone has a case of the Mondays!

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Lumberg was the perfect work space parody.

[Riven]

Perfectly accurate.

[Jerryskids]

Nice - I go with the "poor genetic material" excuse for my bad behaviour, too.

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

"Genetic predisposition to sub-optimal performance"

[BakedPenguin]

Hey waffles, I was sympathy laid off. does that count?

[waffles]

Yeah, you're okay BP. I'm just a frustrated contractor who became the whipping boy for a project no one wanted to touch that impacts 4 groups with competing goals. Last month they laid off most of my resources by kept me to "finish the job". Now I've given notice but apparently my manager has no idea what's going on and in my last days here I remain the main contact for this project. Since I'm leaving the industry this matter nil to me except for my goddamned conscience.

[BakedPenguin]

Ugh. Those are good reasons to quit.

I was flipping out when I heard my news, but apparently, there are a lot of jobs open in my field. I'm feeling a little better about things after getting a few interviews (with recruiters, but still).

Did you line up something before you quit?

[waffles]

I did. But they took sometime with the offer and wouldn't budge much on the start date giving me a fairly contracted relocation schedule. I'm stoked about the new position.

[Zeb]

Is there "at will employment" in the state where you live? At least where I am, you can just up and quit any time. 2 Week notice is just the polite, professional thing to do (and probably gets you a better reference).

[waffles]

This is at will. I don't know if I need the reference in the future so I'm going to shut up and eat my lemons.

[Johnny Bravo]

(and probably gets you a better reference).

People still do references?

[Zeb]

The people I've interviewed for jobs seem to have references. Though a lot of employers seem to just confirm that they actually worked there and won't say much else.

[Riven]

Most HR folks won't call your references unless you're going to be high up in their company.

For everyone else, it's just a test to see if you can provide references. If you can't... well, it doesn't look good, and that's about it.

[waffles]

So I'm punishing myself for no reason? Except to get paid for a whole week of shitposting on H&R of course.

[Riven]

Basically. Welcome to the masochist club. Here's your member ID card. We meet once weekly to discuss floggers, pain-enhancement techniques, and cobbler recipes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

District of Columbia residents will face fines for not shoveling snow from sidewalks in front of their property this winter.

Isn't that city property?

[UnCivilServant]

It's city property when you want to do something to the pavement.

It's your property with an attached public accomodation mandate when it needs shovelling.

[Rich]

This is going to be hilarious.

[Doctor Whom]

I used to live in a suburb that required that. Everyone on my street did it, but the sidewalk in front of the park never got shoveled. Show of hands as to who is the least bit surprised.

[Doctor Whom]

*Everyone on my street except the parks department, obviously.

[WTF]

Yeah, in my town you get 24 hours after the end of snow fall to clear your sidewalks.

[Atanarjuat]

What about people who are out of town for the holidays? Do they all get fined?

[Matrix]

Asset forfeiture!

[UnCivilServant]

What about people who are out of town for the holidays? Do they all get fined?

You arrainge a compact with your neighbors to clear walkways when the others are absent, or hire some people to make sure it's clear.

[WTF]

Technically they could be fined, but the only thing I have ever heard of actually happening is they send a letter saying if you don't clear your sidewalks, you could be fined. I guess you are supposed to make arrangements if you are going to be away in the winter, either with your neighbor or hire a landscaper to clear the snow for you.

[Bryan C]

That house looks pretty blighted to me.

[MJGreen]

When I lived in Harlem, the only sidewalks that were left unshoveled were around parks and schools (at least around the half-block playground area of the school). I imagine every building manager in the hood was as shitty as mine, but they all kept the sidewalks clear.

[DEG]

Everyone on my street did it, but the sidewalk in front of the park never got shoveled

I noticed something like that in Harvard Square. I was walking around not long after a snow storm had ended. Cambridge has an ordinance requiring property owners clear sidewalks in front of their property after a snow storm. What properties didn't have cleared sidewalks in front? City of Cambridge owned properties.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bob Marley's family is launching an international marijuana brand called Marley Natural that will sell "heirloom Jamaican cannabis strains" and cannabis-infused lotions.

The United Nations is going to have something to say about this, mon.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I shot the UN Secretary General
But I did not shoot the Deputy Secretary General for Security Affairs

[Free Society]

no no no

[Riven]

Hey, I would listen to that song.

[Pro Libertate]

"Kill it before it grows" refers, of course, to GMO crops.

[Zeb]

I want some GMO reefers.

[Riven]

Imagine the possibilities...

[Longtorso, Johnny]

To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.

Seals Raping Penguins In The Antarctic

[Matrix]

I'm sure libs are ready to blame it on climate change

[VG Zaytsev]

Nature is becoming unbalanced by the boiling oceans.

It's all the fault of you teafucking denierzz

[Matrix]

So sharknado will happen because of the teafucking denierzz allowing Nature (tm) to become further unbalanced?

[VG Zaytsev]

And worse.

In less than a decade we will wish that Sharknado was scifi and not an understated projection.

[Matrix]

Because something like this will happen, and we'll all be fucked.

[Doctor Whom]

Didn't we warn you that once we gave "equal" "rights" to same-sex "marriage" (at $1.50 per scare quote if you buy them in bulk), that this would happen?

[gaijin]

Well those penguins are dressed nattily

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

The Warty Harbor Seals?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

This is the third time someone's started a thread on this topic - I was the first.

Are the seals going to let the penguins down again?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

STEVE SMITH goes swimming?

[SugarFree]

The penguin was killed and eaten after the rape, so you are more right than you know.

[Riven]

You know, there are hentai enthusiasts who love that type of stuff. I believe it's affectionately referred to as "guro"

[SugarFree]

And the penguin might into it: Vorarephilia

[Riven]

I see you're also familiar with the vast, terrifying recesses of the internet.

[Roger the Shrubber]

Get a bunch of animals together drinking fermented kelp juice - what do you think is going to happen?

/seal rape apologist

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

SEAL SMITH THINK PENGUINS CUTE IN THEIR TUXEDOS.

[Steve G]

See, this is what happens when you're beaten clubbed as a child pup

[Bryan C]

Teach seals not to rape.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

New term: 'Grubering' and how it applies to Climate Alarmism
...The late Steven Schneider puts it succinctly:

On the one hand, as scientists we are ethically bound to the scientific method, in effect promising to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but ? which means that we must include all the doubts, the caveats, the ifs, ands, and buts. On the other hand, we are not just scientists but human beings as well. And like most people we'd like to see the world a better place, which in this context translates into our working to reduce the risk of potentially disastrous climatic change. To do that we need to get some broad based support, to capture the public's imagination. That, of course, entails getting loads of media coverage. So we have to offer up scary scenarios, make simplified, dramatic statements, and make little mention of any doubts we might have. This 'double ethical bind' we frequently find ourselves in cannot be solved by any formula. Each of us has to decide what the right balance is between being effective and being honest.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Our critics sometimes dismiss skeptics as "conspiracy theorists" noting how unlikely it would be that thousands of scientists would collude. They miss the point. We now know that Grubering takes place ? we see it laid bare in the Obamacare campaign. It was not strictly a "conspiracy". Rather it was an arrogant belief that lying was necessary to persuade a "stupid" public to adopt the policy preferences of the politicians and the academics in their employ. Its Noble Cause Corruption, not conspiracy, that is at the root of this behavior....

[Bryan C]

Yep. You don't need a "conspiracy" for people in positions of authority to act like arrogant assholes and opportunistic liars. For humans that's the default setting. The scientific method was developed to protect science from the scientists.

[VG Zaytsev]

Each of us has to decide what the right balance is between being effective and being honest.

Huh,

You'd think that if AGW was accurate there would be no conflict between honesty and effectiveness.

[Suthenboy]

Yeah, you would think.

I wonder where Tony is today. He shit stupid all over threads yesterday. I am sure he would cover for this guy the same way shreek did for Gruber.

[Suthenboy]

Who woulda fuckin' guessed? Not me, this totally blindsided me.

If you have to lie to make your case, you don't have a case worth making.

[On the Road to Mandalay.]

My penis has weird color today...

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I hope you didn't catch anything from your mother last night.

[trshmnster the terrible]

Gangrene

[antisocial-ist]

So, a man takes a business trip to Shanghai, and while he's there he visits a brothel. Two weeks after he gets back, he notices that his dick is turning green. Alarmed, he goes to his doctor. After ruling out every other possibility, the doctor says " Sir, you seem to have contracted Chinese syphilis, a very rare disease. Unfortunately, there's no cure and the only way to stop it from spreading is to amputate your penis." So the man decides to get a second opinion from a traditional Chinese doctor, hoping he would have more experience with the disease. As soon as the man pulls his pants down, the Chinese doctor says "Oh, Chinese syphilis, very rare in America, I bet your American doctor told you he would have to amputate. American doctors are too quick to cut, should be more patient." The man breathed a sigh of relief and said "So, you don't have to amputate my penis?" To which the Chinese doctor replied " No. Wait two weeks, dick fall off by itself."

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Why did I laugh?

[Crusty Juggler]

It was chuckle inducing, that's why. Sheesh.

[Pope Jimbo]

Lay off the cheetos and your dick will go back to its normal color...

[Bee Tagger]

District of Columbia residents will face fines for not shoveling snow from sidewalks in front of their property this winter.

And if you leave your door unlocked while you do this, police will be happy to go inside and remove all of your guns.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Gruber Truthers Really Need to Shut The F*** Up Now
...Come. On. I hate to break it to you all, but Gruber doesn't get to be an architect of Obamacare and Romneycare when you want to use his authority and credentials to bash Republicans or spin for the law, and then radically transform into one of three Jon Grubers who just happens to live in Obama's neighborhood once Gruber becomes a massive liability for the Left....

[Doctor Whom]

Yes, he does. They use weapons-grade doublethink.

[UnCivilServant]

Most of their skulls aren't rated for weapons-grade doublethink, they'll be scanners-type ruptures all over the place if this keeps up!

[Restoras]

That movie was recently making the rounds on cable. What a classic.

[Rich]

A third of Fortune 500 companies now cover transgender health care

"There's not one number that will tell you how many people are transgender in corporate America."

8%?

With all due respect, can transracial health care be far behind?

[Idle Hands]

"I have lots of black friends..."

[Steve G]

I got binders full of 'em. ..oh wait, wrong analogy

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I have a feeling that number will go up.

[Zeb]

I actually hope that "transracial" becomes a thing. Not because I think it is real or legitimate, but just to fuck with people who insist on making everything about race. And if you can change your race, then no one will know who to be racist against, which sounds like a win.

[Palin's Buttplug]

GOP policies already working! UE down to 5.8%, new records in the markets, gas down to $2.50, and a strong US Dollar!

Go Team Red!

[Restoras]

Tears. Sweet, sweet Tears of Sorrow....

[Palin's Buttplug]

You Peanuts were right. All we needed was GOP Top Men!

[WTF]

Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

[Restoras]

Teh Weigel is dry heaving Tears of Sorrow...sweet, sweet Tears of Sorrow...oh those halcyon days at WaPo, if only they would take Teh Weigel back...

[WTF]

Don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

[Mike M.]

gas down to $2.50

In spite of your hero, who we all know wishes it would go in the opposite direction. The markets are pretty damn powerful indeed!

[Juice]

The oil market is far from free.

[Juice]

gas down to $2.50

Which is entirely the doing of Saudi Arabia.

[Bee Tagger]

Bob Marley's family is launching an international marijuana brand

Puffalo Soldier?

[WTF]

Toking for America.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

All of #GruberGate in Two Minutes

[Rich]

Beautiful.

Nailed Did justice to Pelosi.

[waffles]

That was pretty damn good.

[SugarFree]

Jezebel indulges in a torrent of transphobia and hate.

Ok, that is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen. Also, why is this "admirable"? Obviously people can do whatever the hell they want with their bodies and I fully support their right to do so, but I'm not going to actively applaud a dude for turning himself into a

[Idle Hands]

WHY ARE THEY ATTACKING A VICTIM OF THE SPECIESARCHY!!!

[Colonel Slanders]

Ya know, They used to lock dumb fucks like that asshole away in rubber rooms.

[Tonio]

Annnnnd, they'd be the first to condemn a non-proggie site that did the same thing.

[gaijin]

OT: When will Reason do their annual giving solicitation?

[Pro Libertate]

They've asked me to collect and spend it for them. Please send me all of your money.

[Atanarjuat]

You were that kid in school who said, "wait, Teacher, we can't go home yet, you forgot to assign us homework!", weren't you.

[gaijin]

^hangs head, mumbles yes.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Marley was dead, to begin with. There was no doubt whatsoever about that.

So why, when he got home late at night, did Scrooge smell ganja and hear rasta music coming from his room?

He climbed hesitantly up the stairs and came into the room.

"Ya, come in, mon!" said Marley's Ghost. "Take a toke and let me lay some stuff on ya!"

Scrooge puffed on the ganja, and he saw visions - Bob Cratchitt trying to care for Tiny Tim, old Fezziwig putting towels under the door and sharing his stash with his workers, and then, more ominously, Scrooge himself dying miserably and alone and the greedy nurses rummaging through his property.

"No, spirit!" Scrooge cried. "What may I do to avoid this fate?"

"Ya gotta turn that frown into a smile," said Marley's Ghost, "and have a dealer on speed dial. Then everyone will be your friend, and no-one will steal your stash again."

"By Jove," said Scrooge, "the whole world looks so much brighter! I feel like getting the Cratchitts a Christmas goose and, more importantly, some medicinal MJ for Tiny Tim!"

And they all lived happily ever after, God bless us, every one!

[trshmnster the terrible]

When does the muppet version come out?

[Doghouse Riley Jr.]

"Someday we'll find it/the ganja connection/pot lovers, pot tokers and me-e-e-e-e"

[Pro Libertate]

I have a question. Is this business with Bill Cosby serious, or is it just a pile of crap? This could greatly endanger my ability to provide my employees with chocolate cake in the mornings.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Are you showing them your pudding pop?

[Pro Libertate]

No, no, no. "Dad is great, he gave us the chocolate cake."

[jmomls]

No, "Dad is great, gave us the drugged-up rape".

[Steve G]

The sheer numbers of accusers start to wear down what uninformed doubt I have to begin with personally. ergo: seems serious to me.

[Stormy Dragon]

The fact Cosby's defense is basically "I'm not a rapist, I'm just a serial adulterer" isn't really helping his reputation even if it is a pile of crap.

[Apple]

Nothing has changed since the allegations first came up 10 years ago, except that a comedian got filmed saying something and it went viral. He's never been charged with anything.

[CampingInYourPark]

Putin's Libertarian Moment

Today, the Russian government changed its gun laws to allow citizens to carry rifles in public for the purpose of self-defense. Sound terrifying? It is.

http://www.newrepublic.com/art.....carry-guns

[UnCivilServant]

What's Russian for "Hey Ya'll, Watch this"?

[CampingInYourPark]

smotret' na menya?

[Swiss Servator, spare a franc?]

"hold my vodka and watch this!"

- soon to be most common last words in Russia?

[Doghouse Riley Jr.]

Wouldn't they just drink the vodka first?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

The comments have all sorts of Russians coming in there and tearing the article a new one.

Sounds like the typical high standards of the New Republic.

[Stormy Dragon]

As a homosexual, Russians with guns does sound terrifying, actually.

[kayledysonmul]

my buddy's sister makes $79 an hour on the computer . She has been out of work for 10 months but last month her income was $17508 just working on the computer for a few hours. visit this website...

?????? http://www.payinsider.com

[userve32]

This my friend is why we hit thewm up

http://www.Safe-Anon.tk