Marijuana

Here’s the Anti-Marijuana Tract Some Lady Gave My 3-Year-Old Trick-or-Treater

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Last night, my daughter's school had a little pre-Halloween parade. She's 3. She was wearing a pink tutu. A nice-looking older lady was standing on the parade route handing out baggies of candy to the army of Elsas and Iron Men, none of whom were older than 9 or 10. When we got home, I checked out her spoils (though not because I was afraid of razor blades or poison). This is what I found:

marijuana pamphlet
KMW

That's right, it's a 24-page anti-marijuana tract in a baggie with some bribery candy. Which someone thought would be appropriate to hand out to elementary school kids.

Luckily, my daughter can't read. But plenty of the kids at her school can. (Or at least I hope so.) And if they cracked open this booklet while munching on Bit o' Honeys, here's what they would have found:

KMW

And this:

KMW

The last page of the tract says that "millions of copies of booklets such as this have been distributed to people around the world in 22 languages." The publisher is the Foundation for a Drug-Free World, a Los Angeles–based nonprofit.

Naturally, I went to the Google to figure out what the heck was going on. Short answer: It looks like Scientology dressed up as a drug warrior this Halloween.

You can read a little more about the Foundation for a Drug-Free World in their own words on an official Scientology site here, or on Wikipedia here. But essentially the organization is a way to grab people with substance abuse problems and funnel them into Narconon, which promotes L. Ron Hubbard's rather unorthodox views about addiction.

There's nothing wrong with giving kids a little age-appropriate information about drugs, and this lady was well within her rights to hand out these pamphlets on a public street. I'm more than happy to provide counter-propaganda in the form of Jacob Sullum's oeuvre when the time is right. But it's unlikely the well-meaning parade organizers would smile upon their Halloween festivities being used as a Scientology recruitment ground.

Yet no one thought to question her. Why? Probably because, to their eyes, she looked like an obvious good guy. Marijuana's legal status may be changing, but she was doling out materials more or less identical to what will be foisted on kids during official school activities for the rest of their lives. We've become so numb to outrageous anti-drug scaremongering that someone can hand a 3-year-old ballerina a booklet with stories about people dying of cancer and teachers urging kids to use heroin and no one bats an eye.

Scary.

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70 responses to “Here’s the Anti-Marijuana Tract Some Lady Gave My 3-Year-Old Trick-or-Treater

  1. Reese’s is Evil Corporate Candy. I swear to god, I had an SJW lecture me on that.

    1. Well, let me tell you about your Evil Corporate God…

    2. Look, if you’re trying to trap one, you need to use their candy of choice. Probably something like artisanal anise flavored jelly beans.

      1. Hey, man, if Reese’s pieces were good enough to trap E.T., they’re good enough for some SJWs.

        1. As soon as he went for those candy shelled deer droppings, I knew I wanted the government to dissect his ugly ass.

          1. Why did no one tell me before that deer droppings taste like delicious peanut candy?

            1. My dogs discovered this long ago. I didn’t think to mention it publicly. Sorry.

        2. What the hell do you do once you trap one? Is there a bounty or something?

          1. I recommend cleansing with fire.

          2. It is like pocket gophers Tundra. You bring in his back feet and they give you a quarter (at least that was what the bounty was last time I was trapping them).

          3. Lock them in your basement and toss them some joints and a guitar?

            Just hope no one lets them out.

      2. You misspelled “anus”. Probably a spell-check thing.

        1. That went through my head. I almost said something. Eh well, I’ll have plenty of opportunities for sophomoric behavior tonight….

          1. I had to click, I just had to click….

            1. *speechless*

              1. Dear God. Who would even think of creating such a thing? I’m also wondering how Pope Jimbo found the site. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he did as I intend to forward the link to everyone I know.

                1. I actually bought a box as a gift for a coworker (my old boss) last xmas. Lots of laughs from the normals, horrified gasps from HR drones.

                  Another entry into my file that I’m proud of.

                2. FYI, I found a link to that site here: http://theworstthingsforsale.com/

          2. I am not clicking on that. I’m just happy that Warty is now branching out into sales.

      3. Artisanal jelly beans are the shit. Just sayin’.

        What you need is some organic, fair trade chocolate. Which is often also the shit. But not because of the fair trade or organic parts.

      4. You misspelled “anus”.

    3. So in other words, they loved Reese’s but wanted to feel guilty every time they ate one.

    4. Well, Hershey Co. is kind of evil. And they make terrible chocolate.

  2. Moreover, those successfully completing the program are not only drug-free, but also felony-free.

    AND good Scientologists.

    1. Scientology ain’t free, friend.

      1. the main Narconon center in Oklahoma receives its clientele from a small airstrip that can only handle private planes, its supposedly one of the most expensive rehab centers in the world.

    2. And they are free of misery-causing Body thetans, which are the million year old ghosts of aliens burned in volcanoes by evil lord Xenu. Don’t YOU want to be free of misery-causing Body thetans, which are the million year old ghosts of aliens burned in volcanoes by evil lord Xenu? /sarc

      1. Why the sarcasm? Are you saying you welcome being host host to parasitic million-year-old alien ghosts? Sounds dreadful! I mean, if you accept their base assumptions. 🙂

  3. Oh, Man! I used to love Bit o’ Honeys. They still make those?

    1. I hope so. My kids always hated them so I got them all!

    2. Yep. I bought a bag a few months ago.

  4. Narconon is affiliated with the Scientologists? I did not know that. I’ll have to raise the issue at the next meeting. That I attend with a friend! As moral support!

    1. Court ordered?

    2. NA and Narconon are no the same thing.

    3. “Narcotics Anonymous” is not Associated with Scientology, but Scientology runs a “Dianetics-based” drug abuse program called “Narconon”. What does Narconon stand for? No one knows, but I’m SURE they weren’t trying to deceive anyone.

  5. Don’t fear the reefer!

    Or Something.
    .

    And it’s kinda Halloweeny.

    1. +1 Cowbell

  6. Anything “for the chilluns” gets a pass.

    1. How about for the chillums?

  7. My neighbor’s mother-in-law makes $88 hourly on the laptop . She has been out of work for 8 months but last month her check was $21643 just working on the laptop for a few hours.
    Have a peek at this website. ????? http://www.jobsfish.com

    1. Five hearts! I would have been satisfied with four. Man what a day.

    2. jobs phish? sounds legit.

    3. Current count: 245 hours, or ~60 hours a week. Not terrible, but we have wildly differing definitions of “a few”.

  8. “This is obviously a story about Reason columnist Veronique de Rugy” is alt-text WIN.

  9. Luckily, my daughter can’t read.

    Oh, so she just gets to look at the pretty pictures of people smoking weed and looking relaxed?

    It’s like Eric Clapton’s notoriously anti-drug song. Nobody knows that it’s anti-drug, but they know it’s about “Cocaine”.

    1. Anti-drug in the sense that the public will go, “wow, look how messed up these rockers get when they use drugs”?

    2. JJ Cale song.

      I think most people at least realize that it isn’t entirely positive about cocaine, at least.

  10. From the Alcohol vs MJ page: “Alcohol consists of one substance only: ethanol. Marijuana contain more than 400 known chemicals”

    So, you’re telling me that a single substance in an alcoholic beverage consists of a single substance. No shit. Nevermind the fact that my whiskey also has hundreds of chemicals in it (only one of which is ethanol). And the reason that it has that lovely amber color is that it has been leaching the chemicals out of a bunch of burnt wood.

    Meanwhile the primary chemical in alcohol isn’t CH3-CH2-OH. Nope, it’s H2O. And that shit kills thousands of people every year.

    1. CH3-CH2-OH also kills more than a few each year.

    2. Yeah, not too many people drink alcohol. I’m sure beer or wine or whisky have at least that many chemicals in them. Some of which are known carcinogens (in large enough quantities. Hell, I think that even alcohol (or drinking hard liquor a lot, anyway) on its own is associated with increased rates of throat cancer.

    3. Alcohol (drinkable, at least) itself is just ethanol; the beverage is not pure “alcohol”.

      They have a point, in that marijuana contains multiple of active ingredients, whereas liquor has just one.

      (They have no point in their scare tactics, because “chemicals” is bullshit; only naturalistic-fallacy hippies think that “chemicals means BAD” and more of ’em means WORSE!)

      1. No, probably liquor has more than one…such as gamma-butyrolactone.

    4. Apparently alcoholics only drink pure Everclear.

  11. She gave kids an anti-marijuana packet along with something that tastes 100x better while under the influence of marijuana. Irony.

    1. Truth. Had the herculean task of restraining myself from them last night. Ok, I had 3.

  12. “Luckily, my daughter can’t read”

    This is why i’m making sure my children *never* read. What good did it ever do anyone?

  13. Drugfreeworld.org. Sponsored by Jack Daniels, which features good clean pure American alcohol, that apparently has no downside whatsoever and is not a drug. Are prohibitionists getting stupider?

    1. You’ve got to admire the brazen opportunism of Jack Daniels, though! America! What a country!

  14. I inadvertently gave myself a nosebleed from how hard I facepalmed at that anecdote about the teacher in the pamphlet. Is there anyone who seriously believes such self-evidently ludicrous B.S.?

    1. Seriously. Who still believes the “drug-pusher” bullshit? Yeah, the world is just full of pot dealers just waiting to get people on heroin.

    2. This isn’t a problem in suburban and rural schools, but, yeah, in urban schools, you’ve got teachers running drug distribution rings. Heck, even in my suburban high school back in the late 70s early 80s there was an assistant football coach and phys. ed. teacher who was a known cokehead and there were rumors about him sitting in his van with students doing lines.

      So, while I’m for drug legalization, I’m still against teachers and other people in authority distributing drugs to minors. Yeah, the page in the pamphlet is a scare tactic, but it’s not a non-existent scenario. I just expect that kind of thing would remain illegal whether drugs are legal or not. We don’t (or we shouldn’t) tolerate teachers distributing alcohol to kids. Why would this be any different?

  15. my parents live on Lake Eufaula, directly across the water from the main Narconon center, I never knew they were affiliated with scientology…

  16. Is that a Chick Tract? Those things are hilarious!

  17. “Oddly”, I’ve never known a pot dealer who touched (commercially) heroin or meth.

    Heroin users and potheads are completely separate markets, and the distribution chains are (outside of the rare, at least around here, person who gets his pot from the cartels) entirely separate as well.

    Makes me wonder if they actually know that’s ludicrously false, and they made it up, or they’re hilariously credulous?

    1. I don’t know of anyone in my rural area who does heroin or meth who doesn’t smoke a little weed, too.

      There is a vast network of pot users who have absolutely no interest in heroin or other drugs, but once you’re doing heroin or meth, you’re pretty indiscriminate about the garbage you’re putting into your body.

  18. it’s unlikely the well-meaning parade organizers would smile upon their Halloween festivities being used as a Scientology recruitment ground.

    Yet no one thought to question her. Why? Probably because, to their eyes, she looked like an obvious good guy.

    We should do the same.

  19. Following the teachings of a fiction writer or sheep herder Makes no sense. How desperate do you have to be to embrace that idiocy.

  20. Thomas Szasz’s association with Scientology via the Citizen’s Commission on Human Rights, is perhaps the signature failure of this otherwise great Libertarian’s life. Szasz’s contributions to the progress of freedom to use marijuana were arguably stymied by this association. He’s just one man, but who knows how much farther along toward legalization we’d be with Szasz’s voice prominently in the mix?

  21. “The teacher in the school I went to would drink three or four beers a day. He got lots of students to start drinking beer, me included. His friend then pushed me to start drinking whiskey, which I did without resisting. By that time, it was as if my conscience was already dead.”

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