Detroit Cops With Nothing Better to Do Kidnap Couple's Goats, Chickens
'You're never going to see your goats again.'


One Detroit couple's chickens are not coming home to roost—because the cops confiscated them. Three goats were also taken prisoner by agents of the government.
The couple, David and Sky Brown, were running a small, unofficial farm on their property near Detroit's west side. They possessed three baby goats and six chickens.
The neighborhood is plagued by crime and arson, according to Motor City Muckraker's Steve Neavling. Nevertheless, animal control agents, as well as two city police officers, showed up to the Brown residence last week to take the animals. City regulations prohibit residents from having unrestrained farm animals unless they are in the care of a trained professional.
According to Neavling:
"She told us she was taking all of our animals," Sky told me. "I began to cry."
The officers refused to let the couple move the animals to a safe place outside of the city, Sky said, so she begrudgingly obeyed orders to place her goats in crates in the back of a city truck as she sobbed.
"They are like our babies," she told me, telling me their names – Idan, Raichel, and Sarai.
The officers rounded up the chickens with a net.
Nobody told the Browns where the animals would be taken or whether they would be cared for. Indeed, animal control has the power to dispose of the animals in any way its agents see fit, according to the ordinance. The couple understandably feared the worst.
According to WXYZ, animal control told Brown, "You're never going to see your goats again."
But thanks to some friendly media, the animals were granted a reprieve. City officials will allow the Browns to take the animals outside city limits. The Browns are currently looking for a farmhouse to take care of the chickens and goats while they try to convince the city to change the ordinance.
Glad that this case of kid-napping—har har—has come to an end. Still, do Detroit police really have so much time on their hands that goat confiscation merits their involvement? Keep in mind that the average police response time to an emergency call in Detroit is 58 minutes. Nationwide, it's 11 minutes.
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This is why if Detroit was burning I wouldn't piss on it to put it out.
Could have been worse.
This month in America, we saw not one, but two men, in separate instances, rape pit bulls in public.
Well, you don't know if the pit bulls gave consent, now do you? Were they intoxicated? We need a university rape board to get to the bottom of this!
Wow. I mean, they're not my favorite breed of dog, since one recently attacked my dog, but that ain't right.
Hey, question for you. Is your handle a reference to the second Myst game?
I'm afraid not. I played the first Myst, but I quickly discovered that point-and-click puzzle-adventure type games were not for me.
This was the name of the first character I rolled for D&D when I was younger. Good times.
Ah, I see. For what it's worth, Riven was WAY better than Myst. Much better art direction, challenging puzzles, better storyline too.
I see the Islamist in you decided not to mention THE ISIS CONNECTION!
BEGONE, SEKREET MOOSELIMB!
Typical. And 60 miles north, in Flint -- at least as bad, if not worse than Detroit, in terms of violent crime -- one can easily find two on-duty cops hanging out at one of the downtown bars, and many of the rest enforcing ordinance violations.
I called them once about a break in, and the cops who (miraculously) showed up didn't care at all about the break in, but instead threatened to cite me for a full bag of mulch I had sitting on my lawn beside a tree. Our heroes in blue.
Solving a break-in does not put money in the coffers. Take your unprofitable problems somewhere else!
Detroit didn't become the shithole it is for no reason.
I blame Omni Consumer Products.
This could look bad for OCP, Episiarch. Scramble the best spin team we have.
You have ten seconds to comply, JW.
You're fired!
I had to kill Episiarch's comment because he made a mistake. Now it's time to erase that mistake.
[emailing reason to have him banned]
"Kidnap Couple's Goats..."
Good one.
According to WXYZ, animal control told Brown, "You're never going to see your goats again."
It's only kidnapping if there's a ransom demand.
If you want to restore the quality of life in Detroit, you've got to start somewhere.
"Well, boss, we got the goats and chickens you wanted."
"OK, just give us some time alone."
Did anyone stop to think that maybe the Detroit police are just that darn hungry?
They didn't confiscate donuts and bear claws, NutraSweet, you blithering nincompoop.
Of course not, but they know that you need milk and eggs for those things. Now we just need to get them to stop milking the chickens and reaching up the goats asses looking for eggs.
Maybe they were looking to recreate this It's ok, you can accuse me of being a dairy snob.
@Riven. Mix the goat cheese with gooseberry, or your favorite jam, put it between two cookies, wrap in wax paper, then freeze. Best Fucking Goddamn "Ice Cream" sammich evar. Goes good with Beer as well. =)
"Fried or grilled, your chicken is coming with me."
Why does a rural area like Detroit now allow goats?
not* allow goats
The neighborhood is plagued by crime and arson, according to Motor City Muckraker's Steve Neavling.
Clearly, there are illegal farms everywhere!
^^ This. =D
"Clearly, there are illegal farms everywhere!"
Don't you mean illegal firearms? It was all GUNZ! We didn't act in time to SAVE AND PROTECT TEH CHILDRUHN! With its apparent abundance of gunz and farms it is clear that Detroit is an example of a Libertarian Paradise. This is what happens when you don't whip your serfs enough.
my co-worker's mother-in-law makes $84 /hr on the internet . She has been without work for eight months but last month her paycheck was $21951 just working on the internet for a few hours. check out the post right here....
???????? http://www.paygazette.com
Being forced to move out of Detroit is the best thing that's ever happened to those goats.
Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go? to tech tab for work detail
---------------------- http://www.jobs700.com
Finally cleaning Detroit up.
Oh by goats, I thought you meant the leaders of the city not actual goats.
Unrestrained goats are Sexual Targets for Detroiters... Goat rape is common there. Just drive through the neighborhoods and see the resulting offspring.
Wow. Who could have ever thought that it was illegal to have LIVESTOCK in the city limits. Sheesh, what oppression.
Yawn.
This is actually a Scriptural parable played out in real life. Read 2 Samuel 12... Almost scary how evil these people are.
Can you have some spare time to sit back in your chair having your laptop with you and making some money online for some interesting online work said Jenny Francis in the party last nightsee more what is for you there to increase your pocket money??.
http://shorx.com/clickforsurvey
Nuke it from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.