Detroit

Detroit Cops With Nothing Better to Do Kidnap Couple's Goats, Chickens

'You're never going to see your goats again.'

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Goat
Wikimedia Commons

One Detroit couple's chickens are not coming home to roost—because the cops confiscated them. Three goats were also taken prisoner by agents of the government.

The couple, David and Sky Brown, were running a small, unofficial farm on their property near Detroit's west side. They possessed three baby goats and six chickens.

The neighborhood is plagued by crime and arson, according to Motor City Muckraker's Steve Neavling. Nevertheless, animal control agents, as well as two city police officers, showed up to the Brown residence last week to take the animals. City regulations prohibit residents from having unrestrained farm animals unless they are in the care of a trained professional.

According to Neavling:

"She told us she was taking all of our animals," Sky told me. "I began to cry."

The officers refused to let the couple move the animals to a safe place outside of the city, Sky said, so she begrudgingly obeyed orders to place her goats in crates in the back of a city truck as she sobbed.

"They are like our babies," she told me, telling me their names – Idan, Raichel, and Sarai.

The officers rounded up the chickens with a net.

Nobody told the Browns where the animals would be taken or whether they would be cared for. Indeed, animal control has the power to dispose of the animals in any way its agents see fit, according to the ordinance. The couple understandably feared the worst.

According to WXYZ, animal control told Brown, "You're never going to see your goats again."

But thanks to some friendly media, the animals were granted a reprieve. City officials will allow the Browns to take the animals outside city limits. The Browns are currently looking for a farmhouse to take care of the chickens and goats while they try to convince the city to change the ordinance.

Glad that this case of kid-napping—har har—has come to an end. Still, do Detroit police really have so much time on their hands that goat confiscation merits their involvement? Keep in mind that the average police response time to an emergency call in Detroit is 58 minutes. Nationwide, it's 11 minutes.