Friday Funnies: Groupies

Chip Bok | 10.17.2014 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 11 years ago

Private contempt even for his celebrity sycophants? Yeah, I can see it.
1. db 11 years ago
  
  Paltrow has obviously learned her lesson from the first time she turned down a role in the Titanic.
invisible furry hand 11 years ago

What is “get Paltrow” a euphemism for? It’s not on Urban Dictionary
1. db 11 years ago
  
  E.D., I think.
  1. WTF 11 years ago
    
    Wouldn’t that be a “Bob Dole”?
  2. Almanian! 11 years ago
    
    No, no – Sarah Jessica Parker looks more like Mister Ed.
    
    OH! Wait, you meant something else…
  3. faeriemama 11 years ago
    
    No, that’s Julia Roberts.
2. WTF 11 years ago
  
  He meant he got Lap Wort, but he thinks in anagrams.
3. JW 11 years ago
  
  It’s when your partner, suffering from Dunning-Kreuger, is so moronic, banal and wan, you have to hire a fluffer, just to get a semi.
waffles 11 years ago

I don’t get it.
1. Ted S. 11 years ago
  
  It implies that Paltrow is worse looking than Barbra Streisand and that nose. What gives?
  1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah! 11 years ago
    
    Or he is boasting, as would be his wont, that he has a better looking worshiper.
  2. Ken Shultz 11 years ago
    
    Streisand was more of a commie, but Paltrow is embarrassingly stupid.
    
    Paltrow thinks water has feelings.
    
    http://www.theguardian.com/lif…..-bad-vibes
    1. Ken Shultz 11 years ago
      
      In some ways, it’s better to have somebody that’s painfully stupid rather than a committed commie as a fan. …not that being a commie isn’t stupid. But seriously…
      
      Gweneth Paltrow thinks water has feelings!
      
      She thinks that if you say negative things to water, it reconstitutes itself in disorganized ways. She thinks water understands English, and negativity in lots of other languages, too.
      
      The only people left in the world who will publicly acknowledge their support for Obama are people like Paltrow in Hollywood, and she’s a borderline retard.
    2. perlhaqr 11 years ago
      
      Wow. That’s… amazing. In a bad way.
2. straffinrun 11 years ago
  
  But got it.
Almanian! 11 years ago

ifh where are you??!!! I have a *SLAP* for you!

Re: the “cartoon” or “funny” – I don’t get it. Having Streisand as your sycophant is better or preferable to Paltrow? Really? They’re not both Worse Than Hitler?? That doesn’t even make sense.

But it’s Friday. It’s horrible – therefore, perfect. Happy FUCKING Slap-Ass Friday, Reasonoids!

*SLAP*
1. invisible furry hand 11 years ago
  
  *slap!*
  1. WTF 11 years ago
    
    *SLAP!*
    1. sarcasmic 11 years ago
      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah! 11 years ago
        
        “Air slap
        Air slap
        Aiiiir slap”
        
        /College basketball fans
        
        Almanian! 11 years ago
        
        *does “Tomahawk Chop”*
        
        /raaaaaaaaaaaacist
Almanian! 11 years ago

And where the MOTHERFUCK IS EVERYONE? Jesus, the one day a week a play hooky at my desk, and no one shows up to play.

FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO ARE NOT HERE POSTING! YEAH – FUCK! YOU!
1. straffinrun 11 years ago
  
  It’z hard too type in thd hazmatt suit.
Agile Cyborg 11 years ago

Mr. Prezprog understands Paltrow is a cum dumpster for the presidential staff and he’s rollin’ wid it, niggas.
twoskinsoneman 11 years ago

I wonder if you could desalinate sea water if you spoke to it nicely enough.

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