Airstrikes Are Like 'Casual Sex,' Says Former NSA Head Michael Hayden

Michael Hayden, former director of both the National Security Agency and the CIA, has been offering his wisdom on warfare in Iraq, and it's … interesting. Hayden told U.S. News & World Report that President Obama's plan to try and bomb ISIS out of Syria instead of sending in ground troops has "all of the attraction of casual sex."
A ringing endorsement, right? Wrong! Hayden is no fan of the casual sex, and no fan of Obama's plan, which he said "seems to offer gratification but with very little commitment."
"I guess he's right," quipped Jessica Roy at New York. "Unlike ground troops, drones don't spend the night."
Of course it's all fun and games until you stop and think about the fact that this man is describing killing people as erotic and gratifying and the failure to send American troops to die immediately as an irresponsibility.
Hayden continued: "We need to be wary of a strategy that puts emphasis on air power and air power alone." If you bomb it, then you gotta put a ring on it, obviously.
More on Hayden's foreign policy agenda:
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If only Iraq's dad had had a shotgun.
http://www.screamingpickle.com.....nblast.jpg
So this means Obama is a PUA?
He's really trying to earn back that woman vote from a few threads below.
He's just negging ISIS at this point.
He's still working on the "subtle" part of the theory.
The Kurds are the fat friend no one wants to go home with.
With a name like peshmerga, it's never easy.
I had a group of straight friends that would designate a different person to take home the ugly friend each time they'd go out.
I found that surprisingly efficient.
The ugly ones often make up with gratitude what they lack in pulchritude.
I haven't really run into this phenomenon too much. Maybe the crowds I run with aren't so heavily into the "everyone needs to go home with someone" idea? I've had a few instances where we basically go "Well, you two have fun."
Often the ugly friend is the designated cockblocker in case the pretty friend wants to make a "bad" decision.
Or she's secretly in love with her friend and out to ruin every relationship she has.
What SF said. It was more about taking the dowdy friend who might ruin everything out of play than it was about making sure all of the guys went home with someone.
I actually meant it more from the girls' side (i.e. not all the girls have to go home with someone if one wants to).
And of course the lesbian friend is just like the friendzoned guy, but she is a tragic figure and he deserves all the scorn the feminternet can muster.
One time I went to a bar with my sister after we watched a movie and she distracted about 3 of a hot girl's friends so I could pick her up.
Dude, you picked up your sister?
No, I think his sister went home with three ugly girls.
Go on...
Throwing yourself on the grenade?
Being the sacrificial lamb?
Entering the dog show?
Walking the dog?
The busted wing-man?
We called it "taking the grenade."
Refresh. How does it work?
This is a bad beat.
Whether it's an apt metaphor or not is worth debating, but there's absolutely nothing offensive about using it as a metaphor.
Pearl-clutching material.
Whoosh.
Of course it's all fun and games until you stop and think about the fact that this man is describing killing people as erotic and gratifying and the failure to send American troops to die immediately as an irresponsibility.
Oy. And ENB started out so promisingly...
Struggling. To. Make. On-Topic. Comment... ARGH!
She's not wrong, though. He is implying casual sex is a bad thing in Iraq, and given that the alternatives are staying and jacking off or a long-term relationship of invasion and occupation, he seems like he wants to go out tonight and find himself a girlfriend.
Well, it is. It tends to lead to acid attacks and honor killings.
You run with a metaphor and Literal Larry just has to show up... [shakes head]
Heh. HM is the best.
Never mind.
Agreed.
What is wrong with you?
Somehow I think this "One night stand" is going to result in an unwanted child that will embroil us in a unwanted relationship for the next 18 years. Oh wait that was last time, this time is inexcusable because we already had sex with the crazy chick had a baby and are now about to have another.
Oh goody, another abortion thread.
This is one fetus I would happily flush down the toilet.
If it weren't for Hobby Lobby, we'd never have this problem.
/progderp
And just look at the dad, we all know he'll be gone before the kid's second birthday
ISIS is the unwanted baby? now the Democrats want to abort it and... the Republicans want to save it?
I've heard people say that too much of anything
Is not good for you, baby, but I don't know about that
As many times as we've bombed and
We've exchanged fire and made blood run
It doesn't seem to me like it's enough
It's just not enough, no, it's just not enough, oh baby
My darling, I can't bomb enough of your land, baby
Iraq, I don't know, I don't know why
I can't bomb enough of your land, babe
Some things I can't get used to, no matter how I try
It's like the more you give, the more I want
And baby, that's no lie, oh no, baby
+1
My first, my last, my everything
And the answer to all my dreams
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are
I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two
You're all I'm living for, your love I'll keep forevermore
First, you're the last, my everything
Very nice.
If airstrikes are like sex, once you put a ring on it, do you only get like one airstrike every month or two?
They said that gay marriage would lead to stuff like this.
*slow clap
Think how infrequently Iraq put out (a target) for airstrikes after we married it a decade ago.
Dammit! You got my line!
I'm slightly shocked that ENB wrote something that's not about abortion. That must be why she betrayed me on the alt-text.
Causal sex is the predicate crime for fetus murder.
But what about the Minority Report?
Racist.
Oh, I think Iraq War 4 is going to be an abortion.
She has been very stingy with alt-text recently.
Did the commetariat marry her while I was gone?
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Why buy milk when there is a cow at home?
/Al Bundy
Why by the pig when the sausage is free?
- EAP
buy
Iraq is almost as slutty as jesse then.
Well I'll just have to slut harder then.
*fires up Grindr and ManHunt*
That gives me an idea. Bombr. We'll make millions.
That sounds like a chat roulette for fat chicks.
So, Chat Roulette?
Touche.
This app, I guess it specializes in mass casual...sex?
This makes me wonder if there are dogging apps in the UK.
If you get enough likes, the drones deliver a special gift.
Not really.
Ever since she left that Persian dude back in the 80's, it's been an abusive relationship with the U.S.
#whyIstayed
Way to slut shame, you otherer.
Revolutionary War - Yankee Doodle is handy with the girls (and King George gets it up the...)
Civil War - Come on, baby, don't leave! Let me show you how much I love you!
World War I - My grandpappy and some French lady
World War II - Bogie and Ilsa
Korea - "Hey GI, looking for a good time?"
Vietnam - don't stick it in crazy
Grenada - A quick kiss, check for STDs, results are negative - mission accomplished!
Gulf War I - pull out prematurely
Gulf War II - Keep pumping even after it's gone flaccid
The Meaning of ISIS - TBD
You left out the War of 1812, Mexican American War, and the Spanish American War.
If you're gonna put Grenada on the list, I think those are at least as relevant.
War of 1812 - Holy shit, that british chick is a dude!
Mexican American war - Muy caliente at the donkey show, hope I didn't get the clap.
Spanish American War - Drunken date rape.
Panama- Throwing a sympathy fuck at the needy girl from work, then wiping your dick on the drapes before you leave.
Bosnia - Drunken fix up, set by your euro friend.
Kosovo - Hooking up again with the bosnia chick, who was making time with the Russian dude you were just getting to know.
Pursuit of Pancho Villa - quick trip to Tijuana?
Quasi-War - Terrible one night stand with a crazy French chick?
Barbary Coast expedition - hook up while stoned on hashish?
Occupation of Haiti - waking up with a million regrets, slipping out before dawn.
You guys are missing the elephant bison in the room, of course...
From Andrew Jackson's killin' time in FL to Wounded Knee - She walked into a door. And fell down the stairs. And tripped over a rug. And got into a car accident.
We don't like to talk about creepy uncle Sam molesting our cousin.
In the back of a Conestoga Wagon featuring a tear stained mattress?
"wanna help me find a lost wolf puppy?"
And he left out Wilson's 21 invasions of 11 countries? including the invasion of the USSR.
How could your forget the Maine you monster?
This is the best thread ever conceived. Thanks ENB.
Also who doesn't like casual sex? It even sounds comfortable.
It seems like my wife is dead set against me having casual sex for some reason.
At the risk of ruining the joke atmosphere, I actually am not a huge fan of casual sex. I mean, it's still sex, but I prefer it in the context of a relationship.
That's gayer than two guys having sex with each other.
Go home and have sex with your wife, you homo!
Formal sex!
+1 bow tie
The good thing to know is that threads like this probably piss ISIS off even more than US bombing campaigns.
Will we ever get to fifth base with Iraq?
That sounds positively nuclear.
Is that like Newkular Titties moonbase?
The very fact you call it that tells me you're not ready.
Like anyone would want to R Iraq!
+1 rape whistle
Bebe Buster! Yo quiero leche! Yo quiero leche de Madre!
You don't flit from conquest to conquest of you're a Real Country. You commit to burying yourself balls deep in that crazy for decades, with an occasional fling on the side that you end up feeling bad about eventually.
my best friend's aunt makes $62 hourly on the computer . She has been out of a job for 6 months but last month her pay was $13466 just working on the computer for a few hours. Look At This ......
???????? http://www.netjob70.com
You don't fool us, anonybot....SHE IS A DRONE OPERATOR!!!!!
Is that a Sade song?
You...bastard! EAR WORM! AIEEEE!
You started it in my head...I had to pass it on.
A great example of libido dominandi, and its erotic appeal to statists.
libido dominandi - (chiefly in Voegelinian philosophy) The will to power; the desire to dominate; the lust for government. ?
And still a better love story than Twilight.
I Spit on Your Grave was a better love story than Twilight...
Can I just +1 this thread all around?
You don't need to ask for permission, girlfriend! This is yo' thread. Get down wit' yo' bad-self, Momma!
Except for the spamming, right? I mean that one isn't even on topic.
Ahem. spam*bot*
I tried to tie it into the thread...
There has to be a Japanese sex robot joke in there.
Is there not always a "Dutch Wife" joke to be made...anywhere?
That newly-added alt-text is pretty sweet.
(Haven't bothered to read the 107 comments yet, so someone may have beat me to this)
Sex generally implies consent by all parties.
So this is more like "casual rape".....
Yeah, we totally already covered the serious stuff.
Always late to the party. And not the fashionably kind....
*smashes empty beer can against forehead, belches loudly*
Not that our parties are worth showing up to early, on time or even fashionably late.
*farts, looks for Fritos and bean dip*
I, for one, have enjoyed the Boston area meetups. Especially that one where Reason supplied free beer and then we got drunken Tasty Burger at like 11:30.
I think the important take away here is =
"Pop music was so awful in the 1980s, that Rap Music was, in retrospect, really 'not so bad at all?!?'"
I say this as a former member of a Live-Karaoke Band which covered nothing but 1980s pop tunes. I still have serious, bitter disagreements with my friends about why "Karma Chameleon" or "Take Me Home Tonight" or "Sister Christian" should in fact be buried and forgotten as soon as possible rather than kept alive in some kind of Zombie-Time-Capsule, endlessly prompting sing-alongs by overweight middle-aged women.
"Something, something don't pull out of Iraq prematurely..."