Campaigns/Elections

Oklahoma GOP Congressional Primary Loser: "I…Am a Human… I will Never use a Look Alike…"

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Of all the political dirty tricks, getting executed in the Ukraine yet still pretending you hold office and can run for re-election has to be among the worst!

Timothy Murray, a losing Republican primary candidate for an Oklahoma House seat against incumbent Rep. Frank Lucas, insists that even though Lucas earned 82 percent of the vote this week, giving him the win is invalid.

Why? As everyone knows, the real Frank Lucas was hanged by "the World Court" in the Southern Ukraine in 2011 and replaced by a body double of some sort, one that might be an "artificial or manmade replacement," according to a statement on Murray's website. [link fixed]

Timothy Murray

According to Huffington Post, Lucas, or his double, responded:

"Many things have been said about me, said to me in the course of all my campaigns. This is the first time I've ever been accused of being a body double or a robot," Lucas said….

A representative from Lucas' office told The Huffington Post that Lucas would not comment further on the allegations, but said, "I can assure you that the congressman is alive."

Murray has sent this statement to the state election board, but "had not formally filed a petition asking for a recount or alleging election irregularities. He has until 5 p.m. Friday to do so."

I wrote about a more successful "wacky candidate" from Iceland yesterday.

[UPDATE: I misstated Lucas' name as "Lewis'" in first posting.]

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  1. This guy might be what doctors call, in technical medical terms, a nut.

    1. Even I would break my rule of voting against the incumbent in this race. The last time I did it was voting for Bill Nelson over Katherine Harris.

      1. No way. This guy in office would be epic lulz.

      2. Bill Nelson from Be Bop Deluxe? He’s a Brit!

        /obviously not that Bill Nelson

  2. Many wonderful alt text opportunities wasted. Godammit.

  3. Are you sure this wasn’t the Libertarian candidate?

    R C Dean

    1. No, you can tell because his skin isn’t blue from his colloidal silver treatments.

      1. I thought that was gray

  4. Unfortunately the link to the statement on Murray’s website isn’t working and I’m almost desperate to read what he said 😉

    1. Link should be fixed, thanks.

  5. OT:

    Keri Russell has a glint in her eye while posing in sexy miniskirt at Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes photocall… as relationship with Matthew Rhys heats up

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ts-up.html
    Dang she’s got some nice legs.

    1. Oh, my…..(and not in a George Takei way, NTTAWWT…)

    1. Ugh, you sound just like that person posing as my psychologist.

  6. Anyone who says they don’t want this guy in Congress either is lying or has no sense of style. Half the people there are nuts, retarded or both. At least this guy is an entertaining nut. You can’t say that about Pelosi or Schumer.

  7. He’s obviously a Cylon, trying to distract from his Cylon-ness by pretending that his opponent is a robot.

    1. Not nearly good looking enough to be a Cylon.

      1. Original series Cylon in a poorly crafted fat suit

        1. Are you talking about Caprica?

  8. This guy is no Basil Marceaux, though.

  9. Nicole Thibodeaux is a man now???

    1. She wasn’t before?

  10. Just goes to show that crazy dipshits are drawn to politics, and one of them has to win each race. That people put any faith in “the dog show for pathological liars” we call an election is tragicomical.

  11. He’s obviously insane if he hasn’t already put the guy’s blood in a petri dish and drawn a hot wire across it.

  12. “I buried Frank … I buried Frank…”

    Let’s never forget, however, that actual death has not proven to be a reliable impediment to being elected. In 2000, INCUMBENT John Ashcroft’s opponent for US Senate from MO, Mel Carnahan, died a couple of weeks before the November election, well after the legal deadlines for putting a substitute candidate on the ballot. Rather than accept fate and vote for the living Ashcroft (or for a write-in candidate or none at all), Missourians turned out FOR THE DEAD GUY, who won by a 2% margin. That is how, instead of being safely “buried” in the Senate, Ashcroft was available to be the PATRIOT Act’s initial, enthusiastic enforcer, and the nation’s top, zealous Drug Warrior, as G. W. Bush’s Attorney General.

    (concluded in reply comment)

    1. (continued from above)

      The US Constitution is clear: “No person shall be a Senator … who shall not, when elected, be an inhabitant of that state for which he shall be chosen.” Unless you really believe in zombies, and accord them the rights and privileges of citizens, how can you possibly say that a candidate who died BEFORE election day, was “when elected … an inhabitant” of ANYWHERE?!?!?!? Nevertheless, Ashcroft was kicked out of the Senate. Carhahan’s widow was appointed to fill the seat that, Constitutionally, her dead husband was disqualified from holding, until she was replaced in a special election TWO YEARS LATER! This is one of the most crooked maneuvers I have ever seen or read about in US politics, even setting aside the horrible consequences that came from Ashcroft’s stint as US A.G.

      That’s when I realized: When the people can’t be relied upon to know and support the clear language and intent of the Constitution, we are in very deep trouble, perhaps beyond the point of no return. Things have only become worse since then, imho.

      1. …and now I know!

        Honestly, I’d never heard about this. What a viciously comical story.

        We
        R
        Fucked

      2. Yeah, I remember this.

        It’s all continued downhill since then.

      3. Well Governor Carnahan wasn’t elected and of course never served as Senator. His name just recieved more votes on the ballot on election day.

        It was Governor Roger Wilson who appointed the widow Carnahan temporarily to the seat following Missouri law.

        If Carnahan had died in a plane crash the day after a sucessful election day, the results would have been the same.

        And I am curious as to what official would have performed any differently under a Bush Presidency, if the Attorney General had not been Senator Ashcroft.

        1. His name just recieved more votes on the ballot on election day.

          The winner should be the eligible candidate who got the most votes. Period. Its not like that election didn’t have a winner, after all. Its that the winner wasn’t the dead guy.

          A travesty of a farce.

          1. Oh I don’t deny that it was a farce that a dead man was “elected”.

            But I don’t necessarily think it was a Constitutional issue. More of a Missouri ballot access issue.

            If the Missouri Democratic or Republican parties in their wisdom had decided to nominate Emperor Caligula’s favorite horse as their candidate for Senate, they would be foolish as the horse obviously could not serve. But the Missouri voters in a pique of anarchy could still vote for the horse, no?

        2. “It was Governor Roger Wilson who appointed the widow Carnahan temporarily to the seat following Missouri law.” But Ashcroft was the INCUMBENT! There was no need to replace him “temporarily” until his term expired. When it did, who was the actual WINNER of the election to succeed him? The WINNER was not an inhabitant of the State of Missouri. Ashcroft was in 2nd place, so why was he not the winner? How messed up does Missouri law have to be, to let the Governor appoint anyone other than the 2nd place finisher to the Senate?

          1. Seriously, if the first-place finisher is disqualified from holding office before the election — as Carnahan clearly was — then is it really the case that the Governor gets to slip in an appointee, for whom NOBODY voted, rather than declaring the runner-up the winner? I suppose the law might have been crafted that way to keep rivals from bumping each other off before election day (thus making the “last guy standing” the winner by default). On the other hand, why would Missourians want the clear disqualification of one candidate prior to election day to throw the race to the Governor to decide? The whole situation was just bizarre.

  13. Well I don’t know, has anyone ever really seen Reprentative Lucas and Aaron Doral in the same room at the same time?

  14. Before anyone starts blaming the Republican Party for this, parties have absolutely no control over who runs under their name. You file, you state a party, you run. It’s worse under open primary states, but the “problem” exists everywhere. Parties do not have the power to prevent idiots from running under the party monicker.

  15. This is like the plot underlying Lost.

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