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Culture

WTF FBI? Agency Has Huge List of Twitter Slang (and Some of It's Fake)

Here's nine of the weirdest. ALOTBSOL, AMIRITE?

Zenon Evans | 6.17.2014 2:16 PM

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A few years ago there was a gag going around the Internet warning parents that if their kids use acronyms like "LOL" and "OMG" they're actually speaking in Satanic code, professing faith in "Lucifer our Lord" and commanding "Onward, murder God." Well, "with the advent of Twitter and other social media venues, the use of shorthand and acronyms has exploded." EXPLODED?! Sounds dangerous! So the FBI has compiled a similarly ridiculous and substantially longer list of Internet slang that parents "should find useful in your work or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren."

According to documents retrieved on Friday in a Freedom of Information (FOI) request by MuckRock's Jason "FOI Geek" Smathers, the FBI's Directorate of Intelligence Research Support Unit created an "extensive—but far from exhaustive—list of shorthand and acronyms used on Twitter and other social media venues."

It's bizarre that the FBI compiled an 83-page, 2,800-entry dictionary of slang terms that are mostly already on Urban Dictionary. What's even weirder is that a sizeable chunk of the acronyms have probably never been used or, at least, not to an extent that they warrant FBI research. Try memorizing, saying out-loud, or figuring out a situation in which you would ever use these highlights:

  • ALOTBSOL, "Always look on the bright side of life"
  • BTDTGTTAWIO, "been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out"
  • EOTWAWKI, "end of the world as we know it"
  • HCDAJFU, "He could do a job for us"
  • IITYWTMWYBMAD, "If I tell you what that means will you buy me a drink?"
  • IOKIYAR, "It's okay if you're a Republican"
  • LFBBEG, "Looking for big bad evil guy"
  • KTBSPA, "Keep the backstreet pride alive"
  • PMIGBOM, "Put mind in gear before opening mouth"

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NEXT: Crazy School Expels Little Boy for Holding Piece of Paper Like a Gun

Zenon Evans is a former Reason staff writer and editor.

CultureScience & TechnologyFBISurveillanceSocial MediaTwitterFree SpeechTechnology
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  1. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    I sleep better at night knowing the FBI is watching over me.

    1. ImanAzol   11 years ago

      I mean, can you imagine if they were following up on complaints about the IRS? Chaos would ensue.

  2. Zeb   11 years ago

    I like the IITYWYBMAD. Someone bought me a drink once because of it.

  3. Invisible Finger   11 years ago

    No FYTW on the list?

    1. Dweebston   11 years ago

      lol

    2. Zenon Evans   11 years ago

      No, and do you know why?

      1. Hugh Akston   11 years ago

        Uh, Hitler?

        1. NoVAHockey   11 years ago

          close, but it's FYTW.

      2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        No, and do you know why?

        IITYWYBMAD?

    3. D.D. Driver   11 years ago

      NIMBY

  4. SweatingGin   11 years ago

    FTYW doesn't appear to be in there.

    1. Bill Dalasio   11 years ago

      Well of course not. Do you really think anyone at the FBI would need to have that explained to them?

      1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

        I derped on the spelling and Invisible Finger beat me to it.

        "Fuck That, You Weasel" kind of works, though.

  5. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    And here I thought lol stood for loser on line.

    1. cavalier973   11 years ago

      Lucifer Our Lord

    2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

      Everybody knows LOL stands for "lots of love".

      Dearest Pumpkin;

      I am so sorry to have to tell you that your father backed over Patches in the driveway yesterday and we had to take him to the vet and have him put to sleep. LOL.

      Mom

  6. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    So Dunphy works for the FBI now?

  7. I. B. McGinty   11 years ago

    What no WDATPDIM?

    1. Dweebston   11 years ago

      NTTAWT

  8. NoVAHockey   11 years ago

    "Always look on the bright side of life"

    Eric Idle would like a word.

  9. Mainer2   11 years ago

    I LOL'ed out loud at this article.

    1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      But did you lolololol?

  10. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    DILLI GAFF?

  11. cavalier973   11 years ago

    OT: Hobby Lobby doesn't really follow Christian principles because it merchandizes products made in China.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      [comment delayed until I know how the Supreme Court is going to go with this case]

      1. mad.casual   11 years ago

        What difference, at this point, does it make?

        Awww... Gotcha! Your business bought gum from China, ergo compulsory taxation of you and your employees for lesbian birth control.

    2. Zeb   11 years ago

      So no one that does any business with China can call themselves Christian?

      I suspect that this will come as a big surprise to a lot of people who think of themselves as Christian.

      1. Michael S. Langston   11 years ago

        I was stupid enough to click on the link - it's an idiotic attempt at "gotcha" with Hobby Lobby. The link says ZERO about Hobby Lobby's actual involvement with China, only that China ranks low wrt child labor (high incidents), low wages, etc, etc, etc.

        The "article" doesn't even try to figure out what a good minimum wage might be in a very poor country, only that it's very low compared to what we think is normal, and since Hobby Lobby is a store who does business with China, it must mean they are paying the barest of minimums to the youngest of infants.

        Why? Because they said so and they don't like Hobby Lobby - that's why.

        1. Paper Wasp   11 years ago

          The angle I saw was that buying large volumes of their merchandise wholesale from China violates Christian principles because China not only allows abortions, but, um, "aggressively encourages" them, and sterilization.

  12. Slammer   11 years ago

    KISS: Knights in Satan's Service

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge?

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        I saw them when they were touring for that album. Good show.

  13. JD the elder   11 years ago

    I have actually seen EOTWAWKI, in the variant form TEOTWAWKI, in live usage, mostly in survivalist and preparedness forums. Example: "Given the general interest in post TEOTWAWKI communication, it might be interesting to check out 6.925MHz (6925KHz) this weekend..."

    1. trshmnster the terrible   11 years ago

      Yep, same here.

      1. jamesrk   11 years ago

        rendered obsolete by SHTF

    2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      And I feel fine.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        +1 birthday party cheesecake jellybeans boom

    3. Live Free Or Diet   11 years ago

      I have actually seen EOTWAWKI, in the variant form TEOTWAWKI,

      I've always seen TEOTWAWKI, but never EOTWAWKI.

  14. db   11 years ago

    SIIHPAPP

    Spread Intelligent Insight Helping People Assess Progressive Programs

  15. crm114   11 years ago

    IYPYFIMBDABJIGYANC-If you put your finger in my butt during a blow job, I'll get you a new car.

    1. Live Free Or Diet   11 years ago

      Ohhh! I was wondering why my girlfriend keeps trying to get me to say, "Yippy fimbie dab-jig yank!"

  16. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

    TIWTANLW

  17. db   11 years ago

    IRSLLLEAAIGWTLAN

  18. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    ROFL - "Really, Our Funds are Limited!"

  19. 110 Lean   11 years ago

    IITYWTMWYBMAD, "If I tell you what it means will you buy me a drink?"

    Something is not quite accurate here...

  20. mad.casual   11 years ago

    I notice 2G1CUP is missing from that list...

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Filed under terrorist actions, along with GOATSE

      1. db   11 years ago

        NGGYUNGLYD

  21. Jerryskids   11 years ago

    I sure would like to see the FBI try to use some of these terms in a sentence. I imagine there's some clueless FBI desk jockey somewhere wondering, "How many arson victims could these people possibly know that they would need an acronym for 'Die in a fire'?"

  22. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

    I've seen IOKIYAR lot's of places. In fact it's been used here a couple of times.

  23. PapayaSF   11 years ago

    The first five on that list get about 11,000-20,000 hits each, so they aren't unknown.

  24. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

    LFBBEG - NSA

  25. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

    I didn't see "ASL" on that list. Am I too old for that, or does Chris Hansen have that covered?

    1. Jgalt1975   11 years ago

      Isn't the proper formulation A/S/L?

  26. Rhywun   11 years ago

    TANSTAAFL - that one gets you put on a list, right?

  27. Raymond Luxury Yach-t   11 years ago

    LMGTFY stupid government

  28. Libertarian   11 years ago

    Dear FBI: STFU.

  29. ImanAzol   11 years ago

    IBFAYAR It's Bush's Fault And You're A Racist

  30. AD-RtR/OS!   11 years ago

    As the WSJ's James Taranto would say:
    The lonely life of FBI agents.

  31. Wlinden   11 years ago

    That's "TEOTWAWKI", and is common in the blogosphere.

  32. Tamfang   11 years ago

    Under Shiva's Auspices

  33. Philadelphus   11 years ago

    ROTFLBTCDICAJTTWADBSIHPWTRHITSBKABAYB

    1. Philadelphus   11 years ago

      Rolling on the floor laughing biting the carpet dancing in circles and jumping through the window almost dieing by smashing into HP who's then running horrified into the street beeing killed accidentally by a yellow bulldozer.

  34. Paper Wasp   11 years ago

    So they couldn't figure out that the Tsarnaev boys might have been a threat to the country, but they can copy UrbanDictionary.com into a Word doc.

    I would say I'd love to have a cushy job at the FBI copying and pasting websites all day, but I'm probably overqualified because I haven't had a fucking lobotomy.

  35. trutherator   11 years ago

    No doubt some atheist doufus at the FBI having fun at the expense of the most disrespected minority in the USA today, Biblical Christians.

    GIving the gullible another "reason" to leave off such "reasoning" and have yet another point to consider themselves smarter-than-thou as versus the "non-reasoning" believers.

    Not that "Reason" authors would be gullible, or refrain from reasoning about stupid directives like that one.

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