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A.M. Links: Feinstein, Chambliss Read About Bergdahl Torture in the Newspaper, Bulldozing Mountains in China a Concern, Miss Nevada Chosen as Miss USA

Ed Krayewski | 6.9.2014 9:00 AM

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  • two titles ago
    Pageant Update

    Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl says he was kept in a cage and tortured by the Taliban while in captivity. On the Sunday talk show circuit, Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and ranking member Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) said they didn't know about the alleged torture until they read about it in the newspapers and that President Obama did not provide them enough information about the release. Secretary of State John Kerry, meanwhile, defended the decision to trade with the Taliban for Bergdahl.

  • A man and a woman in Las Vegas shot two cops at a pizza café Sunday morning before shooting a third person at a Walmart. According to police, the woman then killed the man and herself.
  • Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez won yesterday's Miss US A pageant.
  • The Pakistan Taliban attacked and seized Jinnah International Airport in Karachi, killing 28. They say the attack was in retaliation for drone strikes in the country and promised it was just the beginning.
  • Environmentalists in China are starting to worry about the practice of bulldozing mountains and filling valleys to create space for building more cities.
  • For prostitutes in Venezuela, trading dollars is more lucrative than sex work.
  • Punchable faces are a product of evolution, according to researchers at the University of Utah, who suggest the human face evolved to minimize damage from violence.

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NEXT: Thanks, Taxpayers, for My Subsidized Ticket on an Airplane Gutted to Meet Stupid Regulations

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Environmentalists in China are starting to worry about the practice of bulldozing mountains and filling valleys to create space for building more cities.

    Talk about your flat earth society.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

      "Punchable faces are a product of evolution,"

      Which then migrated to politics. So many punchable faces.

    2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Nice.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez won yesterday's Miss US A pageant.

    This is a link because Krayewski wants to up his page views.

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      For some reason it took me extra long to check the alt-text today...

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Yeah, you can't spell "two titles ago" without ?.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          "sag"?

          1. Rich   11 years ago

            Nice, um, "catch".

          2. R C Dean   11 years ago

            Wot?

    2. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      Contestents:

      http://www.missuniverse.com/mi...../year:2014

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        Just based on these pics I would have to go with Pennsylvania.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          I can't tell a damn thing from those photos other than they're all above par. So much head tilt.

        2. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

          Alaska, Pennsylvania or Vermont get my votes.

          Why do they all have gumby necks, though? Is that supposed to be sexy?

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Can't anyone take a straight-up picture anymore without all these poses and props?

        1. Sevo   11 years ago

          I'll get off of your lawn.

    3. Sevo   11 years ago

      She won because of her speech promoting world piece.

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        That's cutting edge right there. I can't believe she would put herself out on a limb like that.

  3. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Mexican police arrest man after he takes his baby HIPPO for an evening stroll around neighbourhood
    Hippo found in Tlajomulco de Zunigaa in the state of Jalisco
    Man said he kept the animal at his home was not too far away
    Police surrounded the hippo and guided it into a cage

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rhood.html
    American cops would have joyfully killed the thing.

  4. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Detroit fades away: The decline of Motor City as seen through Google Street View

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-View.html
    Wow. That is all.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      See, that's what happens when there is not enough government spending - SOMALIA!

      1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        Wait, I thought Detroit had enough Somalian immigrants that they could officially change the name to Somalia North.

        1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

          No. That's Lewiston Maine.

          1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

            Or Minneapolis.

            Didn't detritus mayor propose something in the way of giving abandoned houses to Somali immigrants? Before he was sent,to,jail, of course.

            1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

              Lol. "detroits" autocorrects to "detritus" if you don't capitalize it.

              Apple FTW.

              1. Ted S.   11 years ago

                You forgot the apostrophe, too.

                1. Almanian!   11 years ago

                  "detritu's"

                  Fixed!

              2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

                Dang, if I had called Detroit 'Detritus' I would never have admitted that it was only by accident. That's pretty clever.

                Not that this means Apple is the wittiest fruit around, of course.

            2. Gene   11 years ago

              Or Toronto or London Ontario.

              Are there any Somalis left in Somalia?

              1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                Enough to form three countries!

              2. wwhorton   11 years ago

                I love that Somalis all seem to move to places least like Somalia. When they decide where to go the first question seems to be, "What do you have in the 'cold as fuck' category?"

                1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                  I love that Somalis all seem to move to places least like Somalia. When they decide where to go the first question seems to be, "What do you have in the 'cold as fuck' category?"

                  "There's no place like home - and I thank God every day for that, because I don't want to be reminded of it."

                  1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

                    One of the great 20th century ironies is send the Hmong refugees to Minnesota.

      2. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

        If you people listened to Tony, you'd know that capitalism killed Detroit (but mysteriously spared most of the suburbs).

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      I wonder if the Google Maps drivers get hazard pay in Detroit.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        This is why they are working on the driverless car...

        1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

          ::shakes fist::

          1. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

            Why you gotta be mean to Fist like that?

            1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

              Shaken commenter syndrome.

      2. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        Google probably invented their driverless car tech for no other reason than to safely transit the Motor City.

        1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          MUHUHUHUWHA!

      3. SweatingGin   11 years ago

        They occasionally get shotguns pointed at them.

    3. waffles   11 years ago

      That tells the story pretty well. How bad does a place have to be when you can't give away homes there?

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Wow for real. Ok, I would like the gang here to once and for all settle whether Detroit fell because of progressive, Democrat policies and politics or is it more complicated; something more nuanced?

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        Unions chased away a lot of businesses, the population plummeted, and voila. The population is less than half of what it was in 1950.

        1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

          It's more complicated than that. Those union jobs mostly stayed where they were but the people performing them moved to Oakland County because of Detroit's out of control local tax scheme. That caused the property values to plummet and what amounted to a run on the bank IRT selling off houses. Add to that the legacy costs they can't get out of (here's where the unions fucked the residents so bad) and staffing levels that are locked in by contract (unions again) and they had to keep spiking property taxes, which furthered the exodus.

          The union jobs stayed because of government bailouts, but they are mostly there. Just look at the population rise in Oakland a County and how it corresponds to the fall in Detroit. Same for property values.

          1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

            It's interesting now -- they've got the two-tier structure in the UAW pretty much set in place now. People who have been there forever make a lot, have huge benefits, etc. New hires make far less, and are on a different wage track then the old ones.

            The UAW fought against that for a long time, but it's pretty entrenched now.

            There's a lot of old boomers there, too, who must be getting close to retirement.

      2. Jordan   11 years ago

        More here.

        1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          Detroit also has a business regulatory agency that measures its effectiveness by the number of businesses it shuts down.

          I am not making this up.

      3. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

        I'm in the state and avoid the Detroit area as much as possible (except for shopping trips!). My sister lived there for 15 years or so, and said the work ethic of most of her co-workers was terrible (she was at an advertising firm that did all of Chrysler's north American ads).

      4. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        I blame the Lions.

      5. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Capitalists looting the working class!

      6. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

        It was the result of urban flight caused by the government subsidizing midnight trains going anywhere.

        1. Mock-star   11 years ago

          +1 some will win, some will lose.

    5. Dweebston   11 years ago

      Captain Sensible, Newcastle upon Tyne, United Kingdom, 20 minutes ago
      It is such a shame that the richest nation on earth allows this to happen. How does the rest of America sleep at night knowing Detroit looks like this? Along with the devestation from Katrina it seems your politicians are not interested in serving the very people who vote them into power!

      Reap the whirlwind, friend.

      1. db   11 years ago

        Haha, yeah, because it is *politicians* who.can fix Detroit.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          Too bad Katrina wiped out Detroit after it finished with Nawlins.

        2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

          My dad worked most of his life in Detroit and I grew up reading The Detroit Free Press and listening to CKLW and WJR - there was more than a little 'a lot of corrupt white politicians got rich fucking over Detroit and now it's our turn' out of the Coleman Young crowd - and of course criticizing Coleman Young was proof that you kept an extra set of white sheets in your closet.


          This is how I remember it.

          1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            Unfortunately, there's a lot of that around Atlanta as well. There are people who know for a fact that the TEA Party is just the KKK dressed up in designer sheets, for example. How do they know? Well, if you're calling for smaller government and government employees are disproportionately Black middle-class workers who owe their middle-class status to the fact that they have government jobs, why then, "smaller government" is just code for "get rid of all those uppity Negroes who think they're entitled to have jobs as good as us decent White folk".

            The thing is, some of the people who make this argument seem to be otherwise-intelligent people so you kinda scratch your head wondering where this bizarre, twisted logic comes from, but others you're pretty damn sure are just godwinning the thread. Why bother arguing facts when you can just scream "racist!" and end the debate?

            1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

              An acquaintance posted a pic on Facebook the other day of a bunch of thuggy-looking black guys with some kind of rifle and shot gun. He said "Dear Tea Partiers: do you want people like this owning guns?"

              I'm not sure he was aware that he was demonstrating his own racism. Because, yes, I would like people "like that" owning guns. There was no indication from the pic that the guys were anything but a bunch of run-of-the-mill black guys dressed like Breakin'-era Ice T.

              1. Brett L   11 years ago

                I do, too. It doesn't matter to me what someone looks like. They have a right to self-defense. Like the Ice T of New Jack City.

        3. Rhywun   11 years ago

          He's right about politicians though - even if not in the way he intended.

      2. Suthenboy   11 years ago

        Hey Cap, have a look around your own city.

      3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        When did Katrina become the leitmotif for American problems?

        Jesus.

        What, Sandy's response was any better?

        1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

          One involved Boosh, the other did not.

      4. R C Dean   11 years ago

        How does the rest of America sleep at night knowing Detroit looks like this?

        Like a freakin' baby with a tequila-soaked pacifier, bub.

    6. Medical Physics Guy   11 years ago

      Google street view has been putting around my town lately, so some folks staged a murder as it went by. Someone freaked and called the cops.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Heh, wonder what will happen when they get to Palisade in Nevada

        1. Christophe   11 years ago

          This is amazing stuff.

        2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          Pre-internet trolling...and it worked!

      2. Ted S.   11 years ago

        When Google Street View visited Bergen, Norway, one of the friends of the guy driving the car found out when the car was going to drive down a particular street, and dressed for the occasion.

        Supposedly the Street View car in Finland caught several passed-out drunks, but I couldn't find a good link for that one.

      3. Los Doyers   11 years ago

        Hmm, the police found it funny. No tasers, no dead dogs. Nope, they just found it funny.

    7. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      Yeah, my wife and I drive through Detroit at least once a year and have been for years. The decline is noticeable just from what you can see from the freeway driving through. More houses seem to be boarded up than not. Not that it wasn't a shit hole to begin with.

    8. Sevo   11 years ago

      From the comments:
      ..."the damage has been cause by a republican governor who diverted funds for the poor to tax cuts for businesses and the rich in Detroit"...

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Businesses don't provide poor people with jobs, only the Government's Job Fairy does.

      2. Agent Cupcake   11 years ago

        How did he do that?

    9. MJGreen   11 years ago

      Whoa. I looked at the first pic then the second and thought, "Damn, that's pretty bad." But that third pic blew me away. I didn't think it would be that bad. The last set of pics is also amazing.

      And the newest comment: "Stop blaming Democrats you Idiots."

  5. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Whitehall residents: Gold in drinking water

    http://www.nbcmontana.com/news.....r/26334156
    People find flakes of gold in their drinking water, and then they complain about it. Fuck.

    1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

      Dear complaining residents of Whitehall,

      I will rid you of this troublesome water - just send it to me.

      v/r

      Swiss Servator, mehr geld!

    2. Drake   11 years ago

      Hilarious. They didn't ask where the well is and head out there with pickaxes?

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The government is going to confiscate it in taxes anyhow, or claim these water-drinkers are smuggling gold.

    4. db   11 years ago

      My first thought was why these morons didn't keep quiet and.install a particle.filter.on their.incoming water.line.

      1. Griffin3   11 years ago

        If they have a gold flake dispenser tapped into the water line ... what an awesome way to flip a house. Act like you are concerned about the health effects, and ... PROFIT$

    5. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Which is why Amazon is out of stock on this.

    6. Steve G   11 years ago

      Ah! I just noticed there's alcohol in my Goldschlager!! Fuck!

    7. R C Dean   11 years ago

      I predict a lot of sluices are going to be sold in Whitehall, and a lot of people are going to have sudden increases in their water usage.

  6. Aloysious   11 years ago

    In regards to prisoner exchange, I wonder what the Taliban would be willing to exchange for our high profile national politicians?

    1. wareagle   11 years ago

      I suspect it would pay us to keep them, Little Red Chief style.

      1. Old Man With Candy   11 years ago

        +1 Bill Porter

    2. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

      Shit, they're probably establishing an exploratory committee to challenge the 22nd Amendment from overseas.

  7. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Cop Refuses To Work At Gay Pride Parade In Utah

    http://sacramento.cbslocal.com.....e-in-utah/

    The officer, whose name was not released, is on paid administrative leave pending the outcome of an internal affairs investigation.

    At least the officer didn't have to kill anyone to get a paid vacation.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Then let him eat wedding cake.

    2. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

      This asshole got the same punishment as themUtah cop that was making up all those DUI's and ruining peoples lives in the process.

      Just think about that for a minute.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Wow. He needed to be punished. It is not his job to decide what events deserve a police presence. That said, the equivalency is just mind blowing.

        1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

          Oh of course. He deserves a suspension. That other cop deserves a lengthy prison sentence.

          Guess which one will make HuffPo's main page though.

        2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

          To put it in Religious Freedom Restoration Act terms, the government has a *compelling interest* in providing security to First Amendment-protected marches/demonstrations, and requiring their employees to give such protection, without regard to the views of the demonstrators is the *least restrictive alternative.*

          1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

            Actually, unless this guy 'put them in a bind' by saying he was not going to do this late, I think this is exactly the kind of case where he should have been granted an exemption. I bet there are a lots of cops they would have exempted from this duty or shift for other reasons (like sick kid or personal day). They would have to show they have a compelling interest in not exempting a handful of officers for these events, and this doesn't seem like the most narrowly tailored way of meeting their interest (couldn't they have a system where someone else covers his shift?).

            1. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

              So you want to live in a community where you get police protection based not on your rights but on the officer's own personal biases?

            2. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

              What happens when virtually every cop conscientiously refuses to provide security at a Free Mumia rally, or a Justice for Ryan Frederick rally?

      2. Dweebston   11 years ago

        This one? Or is there another? To be honest, it likely happens much more often than we think. The officer can book you on just about anything. The courts decide how much of it sticks.

        Anyway, in the case I linked she was fired and is being pursued (albeit civilly).

    3. Mainer2   11 years ago

      Wait a minute. Dunphy told me that cops don't make the rules. They follow procedure...no thinking required. Yet this guy though he could make a personal decision on how to do his job. I am confuse.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Cops are liars.

        hth

        1. Mainer2   11 years ago

          Guess I didn't understand the totality of the circs.

          smooches

  8. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Police tracked innocent business owner's truck while searching for drugs... then left a NOTE to explain
    Matthew Heller attended a concert in Tampa Florida in February and left his truck parked in the venue's parking lot
    When he returned, Heller found that his truck had been ransacked and damage had been done in the process
    In addition to the damage, Heller found a note from the Tampa Police Department explaining that they searched his car for marijuana while he was in the concert
    No marijuana was found in his vehicle

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....plain.html

    1. Slammer   11 years ago

      "While the search is legal, it is not typical. The Tampa Police Department is now reviewing the specifics of this investigation."

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Reviewing to see how they can do the searches without the targets noticing.

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      They said a dog 'alerted', so they have the alleged reaction of a four-legged probable cause machine.

      1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        That's a travesty, and the SC is to blame. A police dog can alert for any number of reasons, most of which have zero to do with actual drugs being there.

        Was it Balko that did the story on cop dogs only being right about 50% of the time they alert but judges allow the warrentless searches in about 100% of the cases brought to them?

        1. Mainer2   11 years ago

          Mythbusters just did an episode last night that showed how awesome those drug sniffing dogs are.

          I wish they had done a control with no hidden contraband and seen if the dog alerted.

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            The dogs are virtually infallible with a good handler properly working the dog, but the cops on the street just want the dog to provide an alert to justify a search, so that is what the dog picks up on, rather than any actual drug scent.

          2. SusanM   11 years ago

            Even Cracked.com has something on this

            http://www.cracked.com/article.....-work.html

            1. WTF   11 years ago

              Pretty sad when Cracked is actually better-informed than the Supreme Court.

          3. R C Dean   11 years ago

            Saw that. They were using whatever they train the dogs with, which we were assured numerous times is not an illegal substance.

            The fact that a dog that is trained on X and super-good at finding X tells you little to nothing about how good he is at finding Y or Z.

            Plus, they didn't mention any false positives. Maybe there weren't any, but . . . .

        2. WTF   11 years ago

          Yeah, the SC completely ignores the fact that a dog will alert based not just on scent, but on non-verbal cues from its handler. The dog then gets rewarded not for finding drugs, but for alerting, because that is what the handler wants as it provides legal cover to search whoever and whatever they want. The handler is often unintentionally providing those cues, because dogs are geniuses at reading human body language.

          1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

            Unintentionally?

            1. WTF   11 years ago

              Sometimes, yeah. They really, really want the dog to alert, and the dog often picks up on this and alerts for them. But they didn't necessarily give the dog an intentional signal. Although they probably give intentional signals as well when they want to search.

          2. Mainer2   11 years ago

            So the dog is named Clever Hans

          3. Homple   11 years ago

            Clever Hans Effect

            1. Homple   11 years ago

              Too slow.

              1. Trouser-Pod   11 years ago

                That's what Greedo (would have) said.

        3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

          I think the failure rate of drug/bomb dogs is far greater than 50%.

          1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            I think the failure rate of drug/bomb dogs is far greater than 50%.

            I'm sure you're right about the drug dogs, not so sure about (at least some of) the bomb dogs. I happen to be related to a bomb-dog handler, and they do not fuck around with that training. (The training is done by the US military, they have some strict testing even to get into the training program and they will kick a would-be handler out of the program in a heartbeat.)

            A 'drug dog' is just a fig leaf to cover a warrantless search so who cares if they have a 100% failure rate? An inaccurate bomb dog causes people to die.

  9. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    From the comments:

    Grey, Alabama, United States, 1 hour ago
    I was pulled over once when I was 19, and the police searched my car. I was driving home from university and had a back seat full of clothes. The police asked me to get out of my car. They then proceeded to dump all of my things on to the street including my books in my book bag. They found nothing and let me go. I had to pick up everything off the side of the road after they just drove off. I was a 19 year old girl and they put me in danger of being hit by another car or kidnapped or who knows what else while I was scrambling around getting my things off the side of the road. To this day I have no idea why I was pulled over in the first place. They gave me no ticket or warning. I guess I was lucky they didnt destroy the cars interior. I have had no respect for police since.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      War on Women?

    2. John   11 years ago

      If it is just you and the cop, he just says you consented. Unless there is a tape showing otherwise, any hack judge in the land is going to believe him and maybe even if there is a tape that says otherwise.

      Worse, since the exclusionary rule only helps guilty people on trial, if you are innocent, you have no remedy. Go fuck yourself and be happy he didn't need an arrest that day and thus didn't feel the need to plant evidence.

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      After performing a public service of this kind one cop said to another followed by a reply:

      "High five! Good job!"

      "We get to go home now. Phew!"

    4. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Why do I suspect that a close inventory of her unmentionables would find a few missing.

  10. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    On the Sunday talk show circuit, Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and ranking member Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) said they didn't know about the alleged torture until they read about it in the newspapers...

    Both proving they're presidential material.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      In a, um, sane world this would result in something.

      At some point ol' Dianne is a-gonna get pissed.

      1. Medical Physics Guy   11 years ago

        Somehow I'm not seeing the upshot. Does it add or subtract to the case for retrieving him that he was tortured? Do we think he was tortured and broken or something?

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          Who the hell knows?

          My point is: How can these "Intelligence Committee" weenies be uninformed about this?

        2. WTF   11 years ago

          Still doesn't explain why he deserted in the first place. This is just trying to cut off criticism by attempting to make him look sympathetic.

    2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

      Feinstein and Chambliss had to find this out by reading the paper. See, if only we hadn't unconscionably restrained the NSA in the performance of their (completely Constitutional, lawful, necessary and proper, unquestionably holy) duties of maintaining a strict surveillance of everything that moves here on God's Green Earth, they would have known about this earlier.

  11. Slammer   11 years ago

    Alcohol sensor on Tampa beaches.

    The Chief: "We can go up to anyone we want...when you add the alcohol the youth it doesn't give you a more intelligent human being.

    1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      Lovely. Just for the record, that's not even in the same county as Tampa, though it's close enough, I guess.

  12. Jordan   11 years ago

    Computer manages to achieve what shriek still hasn't managed; passes Turing test for the first time.

    1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      But ''Eugene Goostman'', a computer programme developed to simulate a 13-year-old boy, managed to convince 33 per cent of the judges that it was human, the university said.

      So they programmed a computer to respond to everything with "Shut up" and "You suck"?

      1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        They can't even spell "program" like a decent human being. How am I supposed to believe they've found a way for it to pass a Turing test?

      2. lap83   11 years ago

        "you NEVER let me play beer pong with my 25 year old boyfriend. NO FAIR" oh wait, wrong gender

        1. Virginian   11 years ago

          Was at work yesterday, and a coworker mentions her younger sister is alone at her house with her two male roommates, and that she needed to get back home because "I don't trust them alone with her."

          Now I could understand if you left your 18 or 19 year old little sister alone with a couple 20 something guys, but if you're worried about your 13 year old you either need to sit down with your sister or get new roommates.

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            But all menz are rapists, because Rape Kulture!!11!!!

          2. John   11 years ago

            No kidding. If she thinks her roommates are child rapists, she needs to maybe stop hanging around with them.

            Sadly, what is almost certainly going on is that she has been so brain washed that she honestly thinks every man is liable to rape any young girl they are left alone with. And that, is just sad and sick.

          3. lap83   11 years ago

            I have known guys who thought 13 year olds were fair game. However, never in a million years would I have let them alone with my sister.

    2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      I tend to fail the turing test.

      Aparently I talk in a stilted and artificial manner.

    3. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Meh.

      In what can be interpreted as devious in its brilliance or exploitative in its disregard for the spirit of Turing's originally proposed test, Eugene's creators kind of kluged their way to victory on this one, by having it pretend to be a 13-year-old, non-native-English-speaking Ukrainian. As Eugene's creator Vladimir Veselov put it, "our main idea was that [Eugene] can claim that he knows anything, but his age also makes it perfectly reasonable that he doesn't know everything." Is it fair? Technically. But it's not the least bit impressive, in a cognitive sense.

      1. Rhywun   11 years ago

        Yep - I saw some of the transcripts earlier today and the kid came off to me as either mentally-challenged or a snotty foreign-exchange student. Maybe both.

  13. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    # Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez won yesterday's Miss US A pageant.

    CARAMBA!

    1. John   11 years ago

      You said it. The winners of those pageants sometimes are not as hot as you would expect. This year, however, the judges seem to have gotten it right. Damn.

      1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

        One of the teachers at my middle school was a former Miss Florida. I didn't get how that happened. Not only were there far better looking women in Florida, there were prettier teachers at that school.

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          It must have been her special talent for ___________

          1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

            I hope she had some special talent, she certainly had a huge attitude. Personally, I was glad I wasn't in her class.

        2. John   11 years ago

          I have had the same experience. I did, however meet a Miss America or USA I can't remember which a couple of years ago at at USO even my wife volunteered at. And she was a doll. She was stunningly beautiful and if you met her and saw her you would say "hey, that's Miss America." She was this perfect five foot three blond with this amazing "golly gee wow" earnestness about her. She pretty much could have taken my credit cards from me and cleaned out my bank account and I wouldn't have cared.

          1. Citizen Nothing   11 years ago

            A very cute former Miss Teen U.S.A. owns a B&B I once stayed at. We sang BNL's If I Had a Million Dollars" together at a karaoke night at a tavern near the B&B.
            I was on the clock. I have the best job in the world.

            1. John   11 years ago

              You do, if only for that moment alone.

        3. lap83   11 years ago

          Pageants aren't strictly about prettiness.

  14. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl says he was kept in a cage and tortured by the Taliban while in captivity.

    The Taliban was actually J. Walter Weatherman. "And that's why you never walk off your post."

    1. db   11 years ago

      +1 hand clapping

    2. John   11 years ago

      So is Bergdahl the new Patty Hurst?

      1. Mainer2   11 years ago

        Did she develop those awesome manual shifters when in captivity ?

        1. John   11 years ago

          She had a lot of time to think locked in that closet.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            And luckily she was too old for R. Kelly to bother her

        2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

          It took me a second to catch your reference to cars - you're thinking of Patty Hertz.

    3. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

      I thought he was killed when Michael, Gob, and Lindsay left the refrigerator door open?

  15. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

    A man and a woman in Las Vegas shot two cops at a pizza caf? Sunday morning before shooting a third person at a Walmart. According to police, the woman then killed the man and herself.

    left out-

    The shooters then stripped the officers of their weapons and ammunition and badges, according to a law enforcement official with knowledge of the investigation. They then covered the officers with something that featured the Gadsden flag, a yellow banner with a coiled snake above the words, "Don't tread on Me."

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/e.....-more-ugly

    RW terrorists.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Real World terrorists? Yeah, it wasn't fiction.

    2. Slammer   11 years ago

      Runner's World?

    3. WTF   11 years ago

      Don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        Oh. (Goes back to eating cake)

    4. waffles   11 years ago

      Witnesses told police one of the shooters yelled "This is the start of a revolution" before shooting the officers. Gillespie later said he could not confirm that.

      Now what was the Jacket doing on scene and why couldn't he confirm or deny the start of a revolution?

      This is a weird one.

    5. Jerry on the sea   11 years ago

      You leave the Red Wings out of this.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        DETROIT SUCKS! DETROIT SUCKS!

        /United Center chant

  16. John   11 years ago

    A child gets sick in New York, so the federal government now must ban all America from eating anything but fully sterile cheese.

    http://blog.simplejustice.us/2.....eboarding/

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      fully sterile cheese

      Nice band name.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Yes rich, yes it is.

        1. Slammer   11 years ago

          Also good band name: Ban all America

          1. gaijin   11 years ago

            We're and American Ban, we're an American ban,
            We come into your town, we'll shut your party down,
            We're an American Ban,

            /Apologies to grand funk

            1. Ted S.   11 years ago

              On the other hand, Grand Funk did a version of The Locomotion, so you don't need to apologize to them.

          2. John   11 years ago

            No

            Ban Crime.

          3. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

            I'm thinking album name with that one.

        2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          That's a... um, I dunno "meme" doesn't sound quite right for this. Well, whatever it classifies as, I could do without it.

        3. Rich   11 years ago

          DING DING DING DING

          SARCASM DETECTED!

          1. John   11 years ago

            No. I like it. Really.

            1. Rich   11 years ago

              Well, ? OK. Thanks, John!

              *** uninstalls Secret Service sarcasm detector ***

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      It's almost as though they don't understand that cheese is the result of bacteria combined with milk curds.

      1. gimmeasammich   11 years ago

        Almost?

    3. Medical Physics Guy   11 years ago

      This is one benefit to the EU. France lobbies hard to ensure no one messes with the cheese. I get cheese from a French guy in a truck on Saturdays. It is unreal.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        "Psst. Eh, m'sieu...wanna buy some Fromage Blanc?"

        1. Christophe   11 years ago

          Fromage blanc is pretty easy to make yourself. I don't think it relies on aging/bacteria much.

  17. SugarFree   11 years ago

    Teenage Girl Stabs Mother in Another Slender Man-Inspired Attack

    I said that the Waukesha attacks would be just the first.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      I said that the Waukesha attacks would be just the first.

      To be fair, you said that while planning the next one.

    2. John   11 years ago

      It is a curious phenomenon, except that I don't believe the kids in these cases. I think these kids wanted to stab the person and are making up the "Slender Man" excuse after the fact as a way to get attention.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        Viral marketing has finally gone too far.

    3. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      Mr Free be a soothsayer

    4. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Are you Slender Man?

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Not unless he's really, really let himself go.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

          I heard the internet subtracts ten pounds.

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            "How many internets are on me right now?"

    5. Rich   11 years ago

      "She was someone else during that attack," the mother added.

      Slender Man, DUH!

    6. waffles   11 years ago

      The weird thing to me is that the slenderman thing is a few years old, which is forever-ago in internet time. Why now? There's something else going on and I smell an excellent vehicle for a made-for-tv movie!

      1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        There's something else going on

        Media hysteria. The connections of these people to this meme is probably tenuous, at best.

      2. Rasilio   11 years ago

        There is a flood of slenderman games that were released in the last couple of years on Steam and a lot of teens play them for whatever reason.

        My 14 year old is a big fan.

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Invest in chain mail.

          1. Rasilio   11 years ago

            Would Boiled Leather Scale be a suitable substitute? Cause I already have that

      3. Trouser-Pod   11 years ago

        Wait til they watch True Detective and learn about the Yellow King.

        The hick, not the prose.

    7. Steve G   11 years ago

      We have our new knock out game crisis

  18. Slammer   11 years ago

    'Mystery sea monster' eats 9-foot great white shark?

    1. Ivan Pike   11 years ago

      along with a sudden, sharp 1,902-foot plunge

      Sperm whale??

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        That would be my first guess.

      2. Jordan   11 years ago

        Nope. A larger Great White. They can easily make that depth.

        1. db   11 years ago

          25C seems awful warm for.a fish. Would have to be something warm blooded. I guess there are some slightly warm blooded.fish but a difference of 18C is quite a bit.

          1. Christophe   11 years ago

            Sharks are semi warm-blooded. They have a set of muscles just to help their other muscles warmed up.

            1. db   11 years ago

              I knew some sharks are semi-warm blooded but I didn't think they.could support a temp.differential of as.much as.18C.

              1. Brett L   11 years ago

                What happens to an external thermometer when your blood is suddenly on the outside? Your skin temperature goes from approximately the water temperature to approximately your core temperature.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      The shark had been swimming at a depth of 1,900ft when there was a huge temperature change ? going from 7C to 25C in just seconds. Scientists say this could only have happened by the shark being eaten by another creature ? the latter temperature indicates that the tag was inside the stomach of another animal.

      *** rising intonation ***

      What if the tag just failed ?.

    3. Jordan   11 years ago

      I read an update to this. It was another Great White. No surprise; cannibalism isn't that uncommon among them.

      1. Matrix   11 years ago

        MEGALODON!!!

      2. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Well, that makes it worse.

        Pace out 9 feet. Look at the size of that thing. Now, how big would a shark have to be to eat, or even attack, a shark that size?

        1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

          Welcome to abyssal gigantism:

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep-sea_gigantism

    4. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

      MEGALADON!

      1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

        a solid 19 min late...I WAS ON A CALL!

  19. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    What did Sloopy do with all those ducks?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I don't know. What did he do with all those dicks?

      Oh, you said ducks, not dicks.

    2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

      he 'et 'em or gave to a Portagee.

  20. John   11 years ago

    http://bostonherald.com/news_o....._a_new_low

    Only 44% of Massholes approve of the first black President. I always knew that place was the RACIST.

    1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

      Actually, Boston is probably the most racist city in America.

      1. John   11 years ago

        I think so. My wife grew up in Boston and moved to Atlanta from there when we were first married. She was amazed at how much more racially tolerant and integrated Atlanta was compared to Boston.

        1. WTF   11 years ago

          But that's unpossible! Everyone knows the southern rednecks are the racists, not people from enlightened Massachusetts!

        2. Rasilio   11 years ago

          Having lived in both Boston and Atlanta I don't know that racism is any stronger here in Boston but it is different.

          In the south whites will work with blacks with no issues but they would never socialize with them. In Boston they will socialize with blacks who have the right educational credentials but would never give them a job or work with them.

          Basically racism in the north is far more paternalistic and fear based, in the south it is less antagonistic and mostly just a matter of culture.

          1. John   11 years ago

            My wife worked in Boston and never had a black person working in the same office. Boston's black professional class is miniscule. Atlanta in contrast has a huge black professional class. My wife's office in Atlanta was about 1/4 black. Very rare to find an office in Boston like that.

            That seems to be the biggest difference between the two.

          2. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            The saying is: In the South, they don't care how close you get as long as you don't get too big, in the North they don't care how big you get as long as you don't get too close.

        3. R C Dean   11 years ago

          She was amazed at how much more racially tolerant and integrated Atlanta was compared to Boston.

          I had the same experience moving from Boston to Richmond.

          1. Rhywun   11 years ago

            I don't know the south at all, but after spending many years in each I can confirm that racism is way worse in Buffalo than NYC.

  21. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    Trigger Warning: Troll Bait

    Voter ID Law goes off without a hitch

    And all of Bo's complaints had an answer too:

    Contrary to the claims of those who say large numbers of Americans don't have an ID, Mississippi estimated that only 0.8 percent of Mississippians lacked an ID. In fact, even that may have been an overestimate since the state had to issue only about 1,000 voter ID cards. All those who forgot their ID on Tuesday also could vote by an affidavit as long as they returned and showed an ID within five days.

    1. John   11 years ago

      To the surprise of no one.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Voter fraud is just a right wing meme.

      2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        I'm shocked. It's literally impossible for minorities to get IDs. And that's not racist to think, either.

        1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

          But you still have to have one in case the police demand to see it.

        2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          "I find that approximately 300,000 registered voters in Wisconsin, roughly 9% of all registered voters, lack a qualifying ID. To put this number in context, in 2010 the race for governor in Wisconsin was decided by 124,638 votes, and the race for United States Senator was decided by 105,041 votes."

          http://media.cmgdigital.com/sh.....ruling.pdf

          1. robc   11 years ago

            I dont believe that number.

            There is no way that 9% of REGISTERED voters dont have an ID. The primary way that most people get registered these days is thru licensing of some sort.

            Of course, this may be carryover, because when I lived in Wisconsin, I registered and voted at the same time using my utility bill.

            1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

              Well, one way I can imagine this happens is, you register when you have an ID and you lose your ID and do not replace it.

              1. robc   11 years ago

                So once we subtract off the dumbasses....

            2. R C Dean   11 years ago

              robc, I do think its plausible in WI, where you can register at the polling places on election day by showing a utility bill.

          2. Rasilio   11 years ago

            ""I find that approximately 300,000 registered voters in Wisconsin, roughly 9% of all registered voters, lack a qualifying ID. To put this number in context, in 2010 the race for governor in Wisconsin was decided by 124,638 votes, and the race for United States Senator was decided by 105,041 votes.""

            So he's saying it is a complete non issue wrt the eventual outcome of the election because those 300,000 people would all have had to vote and had their votes break 66% in favor of the candidate who was less favored by the rest of the electorate.

            That would be a massively huge shift that could only be explained if 90% or more of the 300,000 people belonged to some minority voter group and even then it would be extremely unusual since in general only ~50% of registered voters actually vote.

            Realistically for a group of 300000 voters to impact the outcome of an election the vote differential among the rest of the populace would have to be somewhere in the vicinity of 30,000 and anything over 60,000 is probably statistically impossible for them to impact the outcome.

            1. R C Dean   11 years ago

              Rasilio, I suspect the main vehicle of voter fraud these days is voters who don't actually exist IRL, but are carried on the rolls so their "votes" can be slugged into the system, mostly, I'm guessing, via bogus absentee ballots.

              1. Rasilio   11 years ago

                Possibly but it seems to me that it would be rather easy for a campaign to build a database of UNLIKELY voters from the registered voter pool and then have a staffer show up and vote for them.

                That said I wasn't actually commenting on voter fraud at all. I was commenting on either this lawyers innumerancy or his counting on the Judge not understanding statistics because the numbers he presented to bolster his case actually statistically prove that voter ID laws would have close to 0 statistical chance of impacting the outcome of an election.

                Basically in the best case scenario of a 51 - 49 split amongst the 90% of the voter pool who has ID's the 10% without them would need to vote at a 40 - 60 rate to put the election in doubt.

                There is no statistical reason to explain why the 10% of the population who lack voter ID's should show a 19% vote differential with the voter pool at large. 5 or 6% maybe 10% at the outside. 19% is just not statistically believable .

                That is also the BEST CASE for a voter id law to impact the outcome of a state level election more realistically you'd need to be looking at the voters without id either showing up at near 100% levels (and if they were that motivated they'd just get the damn id cards) or breaking more than 80% for one candidate.

    2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

      So the Mississippi government said their law worked well and did not have any bad results and you uncritically just accept it. That's an odd libertarian stance, but hey, there's people who might be voting Democrat involved!

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        A: Who said I was a libertarian?

        B: All the 'evidence' previously presented that Voter IDs would be a problem was always in the form of outlandish hypotheticals. Now you have the chance to go out there and find thouse thousands of disenfranchised people you claim would be unable to vote because of this law. Go, go find me real people who had a problem voting.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          "Who said I was a libertarian?"

          Oh, certainly not me!

          "was always in the form of outlandish hypotheticals"

          No, all you have to do is read the opinion I linked to to see that's false.

        2. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

          http://www.pacourts.us/assets/.....?cb=a5ec29

          This is a Pennsylvania case where the court credited the findings of several experts and officials finding comparable numbers of people lacking the requisite ID.

          1. Rasilio   11 years ago

            comparable numbers of people lacking id's != voters who would be prevented from voting.

            If a voter id law were passed then it stands to reason that any motivated voters who lacked an ID would get one in plenty of time before the election. Unmotivated registered voters might not so there might be some small portion of the population who would be prevented from voting on a spur of the moment choice on election day just as voter registration laws "disenfranchises" everyone who does not register to vote. In reality however if the person didn't care enough to make sure they had the ID in advance the odds that they would actually turn up at the polling station are small at best.

            Then there is the whole issue with "poor people" not being able to get the ID's. That is basically just complete bullshit

  22. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    If you have a few minutes and want to get outraged:

    My six-year-old son was suspended as a danger to others. His crime? A disability you could find in any classroom

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      His crime was being a boy.

    2. John   11 years ago

      I think that case is another example of how letting sex pervade everything in society has made us really sick. In the past the teacher would have never put a sexual explanation to the behavior. Now she does because the default assumption is that sex is a part of everything.

      The other day I read some magazine article about the Facebook is causing people to cheat on their spouses. I figured it would be about people hooking up or something. No, they were cheating by having "emotional affairs" whatever those are. The idea that someone could be close to someone else and set aside whatever sexual feelings they had out of morality or judgement didn't seem to matter. Worse, since everything is about sex, apparently actual sex isn't even required anymore. It is always about sex even if you don't have it. Our society has gone insane.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Our society has gone insane.

        This is the explanation for most things these days.

        1. John   11 years ago

          We are slipping into the abyss. Every day it gets more surreal. The abyss is horrible but it is not just nothingness and pain. It is tragic and comic and chaotic.

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            Yeah, whenever I start thinking "how could it possibly get worse?" if just gets worse.

      2. RBS   11 years ago

        Isn't emotional affair pretty much the same thing as having a best friend of the opposite sex?

        1. John   11 years ago

          That is what I thought. Maybe I am just old fashioned or too literal minded, but I seem to recall a long tradition in art and literature of unrequited love amongst married people. It was sort of expected that married would would get close to someone of the opposite sex from time to time and maybe even develop feelings for them, but they would do the right thing and not act on them. Now, not acting on them apparently isn't enough.

          When you add this to the myth put forth that everyone is really gay or bi, you can't have close friendships with either sex now apparently because everyone including your spouse will assume you are having sex with them. And we wonder why everyone is so lonely and disconnected these days.

          1. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

            I'm not lonely and disconnected. Probably because I don't really think about stupid shit like the FB study or what society in general thinks about me.

            Ok, maybe I'm disconnected but I'm not lonely.

            1. Aloysious   11 years ago

              Disconnected?

              Morning music.

            2. John   11 years ago

              I am not lonely either. Perhaps a bit disconnected but not lonely. Of course, according to the people in that article, I am constantly cheating on my wife.

              We really live in fucked up times. Now I get to be considered to be unfaithful and I don't even get any tawdry sex out of the deal.

              1. RBS   11 years ago

                All of the guilt with none of the fun. It doesn't help that a lot of media geared towards women tends to focus on how stupid and thoughtless men are.

                1. Mainer2   11 years ago

                  Seems like all the guilt is sort of a luxury good. You need to have a certain level of physical comfort to have time to go around constantly worrying about...well, everything.

                  1. John   11 years ago

                    I think you are dead on about that Mainer. Marriage articles are always targeted at upper middle class and wealthy people. And they are constantly defining betrayal upwards to give people something to feel guilty about.

                    For example, there are tons of men and women who write those articles that consider looking at porn to be cheating. WTF? If looking at porn is cheating then I guess noticing some cute college girl in a tight skirt is cheating.

                    Some of it is the desire for guilt. And some of it is the desire to completely control every aspect of male sexuality. Men are apparently supposed to never have a stray sexual thought unless it approved by their designated female guardian.

                    1. Ivan Pike   11 years ago

                      "I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times."

                    2. John   11 years ago

                      Haven't we all Ivan? That is kind of the human condition. That is why we judge people by their actions, not their thoughts, or at least we used to do that.

                    3. Mainer2   11 years ago

                      Purely on a personal note, but I am the luckiest guy, and I'll give you an example. We were on our boat and some young girl in a thong bikini was on shore, calling out to passing boats and wiggling her bare ass for all to see. I was a little embarassed,but my wife said, Look ! She's giving a free show, you might as well get a good look.

                      How cool is that ?

                    4. John   11 years ago

                      It is very cool. And my wife is good about that as well. I have often told her that the day I stop noticing women is the day I have lost the will to live and need to be sent to the home. I couldn't have married a possessive uptight woman.

                    5. Rasilio   11 years ago

                      Rotfl, I have the opposite problem.

                      My wife gets pissed if I notice another woman. I mean like seriously pissed in only the way that a redhead can get.

                      So I spent the last several years training myself to not notice them. Side effect I have just about completely eliminated my sex drive and now she's pissed that we never have sex anymore.

                      Moral of the story: Women should be careful what they ask for, they just might get it

                    6. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

                      I think it's unnatural for a straight man not to notice hot women. I would start to wonder...

                    7. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

                      I am not jealous at all!

                      *snaps pen in half with clenched fist*

                    8. John   11 years ago

                      How is the car coming Mainer?

                    9. Virginian   11 years ago

                      And some of it is the desire to completely control every aspect of male sexuality.

                      I'd argue most of it is the desire to control male sexuality. A woman reading 50 Shades of Grey on the subway, no one would bat an eye. If a man were to look at a porn magazine on the subway, he'd be in jail inside of an hour.

                    10. robc   11 years ago

                      I think its just a normal double standard in some ways.

                      No one thinks its a big deal if a woman owns a vibrator. But a guy who owns a fleshlight is weird and creepy.

                    11. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

                      It's actually the normal double standard that's existed for most of history applying to women, just reversed. Doesn't make it right, of course.

                    12. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

                      It's actually the normal double standard that's existed for most of history applying to women, just reversed. Doesn't make it right, of course.

                    13. John   11 years ago

                      It's actually the normal double standard that's existed for most of history applying to women, just reversed. Doesn't make it right, of course.

                      True. I am not sure trying to turn male sexuality into a pathology is going to work out very well for men or women either one.

                    14. lap83   11 years ago

                      To be fair, the looking=cheating thing dates back to the beginnings of Christianity. It's not a recent "pathology".

                    15. John   11 years ago

                      Yes and no Iap83. Yes, according to the Sermon on the Mount looking is the same thing as adultery. But even the most Christian societies have generally taken a less hard nosed view than God apparently does. Lots of people were hanged for adultery in Christian societies but no one was ever hanged for an "emotional affair" as far as I know.

                      Indeed, the whole thing with getting women to dress modesty was to reduce the temptation of men to think about sex. It wasn't to get them to not interact with women at all. That seems to be what all of this "emotional cheating" shit is about.

                    16. lap83   11 years ago

                      OK yeah I do agree that the emotional affair thing is bullshit. While it's not beneficial or nice to your spouse to give the impression you might be cheating, that doesn't mean it's at the level of an affair.

                    17. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

                      But a guy who owns a fleshlight is weird and creepy.

                      I only think they're weird and creepy because the guy who invented them is a douchebag former cop who got a hardon from beating the shit out of people.

                    18. WTF   11 years ago

                      And some of it is the desire to completely control every aspect of male sexuality.

                      Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

    3. WTF   11 years ago

      This is why government schools need more money.

    4. Rich   11 years ago

      Looking back, the most charitable interpretation I can put on the whole experience is that maybe when large bureaucracies start moving in one direction, they reach a point when they can no longer resist their own momentum.

      "Too big to fail!" 8-(

      1. John   11 years ago

        That is exactly what happens. Bureaucracies are run by rules. The bigger they get, the more rules they have. The more rules they have, the more monstrous the results.

    5. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      His teacher, on the other hand, was quite certain that our son didn't have school anxiety. After all, she explained, she never saw him cry. How could he be anxious?

      Apparently I haven't been anxious for a decade.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        "You lie!"

      2. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        You haven't cried in a decade? In all seriousness, that's amazing.

        1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          That doesn't seem that unusual to me. The last time it happened was in high school. The only things I can even think of that I might have cried about since were a couple of breakups, but I just got drunk instead.

          1. RBS   11 years ago

            but I just got drunk instead

            So you just don't remember the tears.

        2. Suthenboy   11 years ago

          Huh?

          I haven't shed a tear in....uh...probably 30 years.

      3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        I used to barf every day before school from anxiety, yet I never cried. Guess it wasn't really anxiety. Probably bulimia. I should have been locked up.

        1. RBS   11 years ago

          Of course it was bulimia. Boys are sex predators and all girls have eating disorders.

    6. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Well, at least the outcome was good.

      It's unbelievably evil how people in positions of authority and influence are willing to KNOWINGLY destroy the lives of people.

    7. Jerryskids   11 years ago

      This is why we can't have nice things. People like this that get smacked in the face with the truth but refuse to see it.

      The guy talks about how badly his son was mistreated by a mindless bureaucracy - no, this had nothing to do with your son and the bureaucracy is not mindless. You dared question their authoritah, they're gonna show you who's boss. This wasn't some series of bizarre fuck-ups, this was a carefully calculated screwing.

  23. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Am I the only one who initially read the alt-text as two titties to go?

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      ...maybe

    2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

      I suspect not.

      *looks around with an innocent gaze*

  24. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    What did he do with all those dicks?

    He still talks to us.

  25. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    English council gets freedom of information requests for

    * how many times cash swapped hands for exorcisms at the local authority; and
    * the defences it has in place to deal with a dragon attack.

    1. John   11 years ago

      Maybe dragons can replace zombies. I am tired of zombies.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Low on ammo?

        1. Ivan Pike   11 years ago

          Low on ammo?

          Perish the thought.

      2. sloopyinva (previously -inca)   11 years ago

        The dragons are never coming. The zombies, otoh, are at the wall!

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Why do the hard work yourself when you can let the mindless minions handle it? The dragons are waiting for their zombie hordes to wipe out the pesky human resistance.

  26. gaijin   11 years ago

    Speaking of Turing Tests...watch as the automaton Nancy Pelosi fails to convince a teenager she is human

    Teen Confronts @NancyPelosi on #NSA

    Bonus 'But Booosssh' points included.

    1. Aloysious   11 years ago

      No.
      Will. Not. Click.
      I won't spoil this beautiful morning with the ghastly face of that creature.

    2. Slammer   11 years ago

      She is incapable of speaking a simple declarative sentence.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Was watching a show about lying, and one clear indicator is a failure to complete a sentence.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        This.

        What. An. Idiot.

  27. RBS   11 years ago

    Uggh, I no longer have the office to myself, the paralegal is back. She was late though. I don't understand how someone can think it's ok to show up late for work after you just had a week off? And no, the slow drive-thru person at McDonald's is not an excuse.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Why so uptight, Gramps?

      1. RBS   11 years ago

        I was really enjoying having the place to myself and the paralegal just irritates me in general.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          So, she's ugly?

          1. DJF   11 years ago

            Or worse, she's good looking and knows it.

            1. RBS   11 years ago

              I wish, Rich got it.

        2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          So shouldn't you be happy that she wasn't there for a bit?

        3. Jordan   11 years ago

          Now you'll have to wait until you get home to masturbate, like the rest of us proles.

    2. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      There's a new guy in the place where I'm subleasing from, and he's late. Not that anyone would know, because they're all here at 9:30 or after. But still. Second week on the job, and you're late? How did his enthusiasm get sucked away so fast?

      1. RBS   11 years ago

        Yeah, this girl has zero enthusiasm. There isn't really anything I can do about it though since she's best friends with the boss. They have been friends since middle school or something so the boss overlooks a lot.

        1. R C Dean   11 years ago

          The boss is setting himself up for a problem if he ever fires anyone else for not being at work on time.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Blame it on the train when the boss is already there

  28. Jordan   11 years ago

    Chinese students even beat us when it comes to cheating:

    This past weekend, literally this last Saturday and Sunday, millions of Chinese high school students sat through a test that will determine the rest of the their lives. Some will do well, some will fail but none have failed as miserably as the ones who were caught cheating!P

    While the millions prepare for and take the test in legitimate means, there are those that choose to cheat. China hasn't released the number of cheaters caught this year, but the folks over at China News and China Radio International have released a series of photos of some of the best cheating equipment found.

    I think they deserve points for effort and creativity.

  29. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    What does everyone here think about personality types, I guess specifically Myers-Briggs? Truth or bullshit?

    1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      I took the Myers Briggs for job reasons about 15 years ago. Then two more times in law school. My type was different each time. I think it stinks, about as valid as astronomy.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        And it's much worse than *astrology*.

      2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        You mean astrology?

      3. waffles   11 years ago

        Nothing is worse than astronomy. The Earth is the center of the universe dammit!

      4. waffles   11 years ago

        Nothing is worse than astronomy. The Earth is the center of the universe dammit!

      5. waffles   11 years ago

        Nothing is worse than astronomy. The Earth is the center of the universe dammit!

        1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

          No, you're wrong. The earth revolves around the squirrels.

          1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

            Curse you!

        2. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          And the squirrelz agree!

        3. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

          You are all worse than astronomy, or astrology, dammit! Way to crucify me for a mis-typed word.

      6. Drake   11 years ago

        Me too - always slightly introverted - everything else was all over the place.

      7. db   11 years ago

        Astronomy, the Career of Evil.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      Take the test, and decide for yourself.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        I have, and it seems pretty accurate, but part of me still thinks it could be like astrology.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          You have to decide what "accurate" means in this context. I knew a palm-reader who was amazingly accurate. Of course, cynical Rich thinks maybe she was "just" amazingly clever.

        2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          God, you're such a typical Virgo Leo Gemini Taurus Capricorn oh whatever!

    3. Jordan   11 years ago

      Bullshit.

    4. John   11 years ago

      I think Myers Briggs is pretty accurate. I think people, however, read too much into them. They measure your nature or basically your default position. Those are the characteristic you just naturally have without any effort. Having those characteristics doesn't mean you can't function in other ways. It just means doing that takes a bit of work.

      For example, just because Myers Briggs says you are not a detail oriented person doesn't mean you can't be such if you need to be and put forth the effort. You just probably are not going enjoy doing it.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Mine consistently comes up as INTJ. Great, I could have told you that beforehand. And basically all that says is I'm a typically engineer.

        1. John   11 years ago

          So it means you chose the right field. Could you be a public relations guy? Sure. It just wouldn't suit your personality very well and you would have to constantly make the effort to be different than you naturally are.

        2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          That's what I get too, which concerns me because I absolutely hate being a CPA (accountant, not asskicker).

          The type is basically a complete mismatch for my career, in other words, I fucked up. Of course, am I reading too much into "my type" or is it just as simple as accounting is boring and a lot of people would find it dull and unsatisfying?

        3. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          I think it's basically accurate, but that it doesn't really tell you a great deal. Also, I suspect INTJ is pretty common for H&R denizens.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            Or INTP, which reflects the "let your freak flag fly" tendency of some of us

            1. John   11 years ago

              A lot of NTs. NTs are thinkers and see abstractions well. I bet 90% of the people on this board are some variation of NT.

            2. Rasilio   11 years ago

              As an INTP (who occasionally also tests as ENTP and rarely as INTJ) I can say

              INTP = I'm Not Technically Perfect (but I'm pretty damn close)

          2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            ENTJ as well. Guys like Penn Jillette I would assume.

            1. John   11 years ago

              I am an ENTJ. My wife says that is Myers Briggs for "opinionated asshole".

              1. kinnath   11 years ago

                +concurrence

              2. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

                My wife says that is Myers Briggs for "opinionated asshole".

                No wai!!! 😉

                1. John   11 years ago

                  It is just shocking Kristen that anyone, let alone my wife, would think that about me. I just don't know where she would get such an idea.

                  😉

              3. Brett L   11 years ago

                My wife says that is Myers Briggs for "opinionated asshole".

                INTP, but that just means I don't share my asshole opinions with everyone. It doesn't protect her.

        4. kinnath   11 years ago

          INTP. Those "j" personalities are just so difficult to get along with 😉

    5. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      My boss loves them, so I asked this question of a friend of mine with a degree in Psychology. He said it's about as much use as sitting around comparing star signs. My experience is that however valid it is, it's really annoying when people reduce you to a four-letter code and then act accordingly, which has happened to me

      1. John   11 years ago

        I agree. I don't think they are meaningless. But I don't think you can run a business based on them either.

        I do think that they do have some good unintended consequences. Namely they get people to try and be more empathetic and understand their employees' strengths and perspectives rather than just constantly pounding them.

        1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          Blackadder : Tell me do you ever stop bullying and shouting at the lower orders?
          Wellington : NEVER! There's only one way to win a campaign shout, shout and shout again.
          Blackadder : You don't think that inspired leadership and tactical ability have anything to do with it?
          Wellington : NO! It's all down to shouting. WAAGGHH!

          1. SusanM   11 years ago

            + 1

      2. lap83   11 years ago

        At least Myers Briggs isn't based on some imaginary relationship with star formations that don't exist.

    6. gaijin   11 years ago

      In my experience, they are reasonably decent at telling you what you already know...(e.g., analytical vs. emotional). Like horoscopes, however, they also can be used to provide lazy people with an easy label about themselves and others.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        *maybe lazy isn't the best word.

    7. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      All of the evidence of which I'm aware says bullshit. It's vague, unreliable, and subject to the Forer effect.

      1. Mainer2   11 years ago

        The Myers-Briggs Prayer for INTJ (my type) is "Lord grant me the strenght to listen to other people's opinions, wrong though they may be."

        That seems pretty accurate, actually.

        1. kinnath   11 years ago

          INTP: Lord help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.

          1. kinnath   11 years ago

            my wife:

            ISFJ: Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it EXACTLY right.

    8. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      Way too many girls put them in their online profiles.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        What sort of online profiles? Dating? Professional? Instagram?

        1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          Dating.

          1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

            Oh. Why does that sound weird to me? Well, at least it probably saves you the bother of getting to know someone if they can be summed up in four letters

            1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

              Oh. Why does that sound weird to me?

              Because it is?

              1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

                Huh, I dunno, it seems semi-useful. I wouldn't want to bother dating an E, probably. Or an F.

                1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                  I think Ds might be aiming a bit too high.

                2. kinnath   11 years ago

                  Sometimes opposites attracts. But you should avoid Js at all costs 😉

                  1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

                    Well, I am a J, so duh.

                    I wasn't trying to suggest that opposites don't work, or that everyone should date their clone, but for me personally it probably wouldn't work out with someone really extroverted.

                    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

                      I've found that I work better with someone is somewhat extroverted, at least in comparison to me. But there's a limit to that, of course.

                    2. kinnath   11 years ago

                      My wife of 38 years, is a J

                    3. lap83   11 years ago

                      I'm an introvert who married an extrovert and it works for me because I find his "open book" nature refreshing. Also, we're enough alike that we still understand each other. (both NTs)

                    4. lap83   11 years ago

                      That was for Nikki, btw.

                      I think, when deciding on a mate, regardless of how you think about personality, Myers Briggs or whatever... you have to decide in terms of what flaws annoy you the least. Every characteristic has an annoying side.

                3. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

                  In terms of romantic compatiblity, the biggest issue is J's should not date other J's and P's should not date other P's.

                  Beyond that, E/I doesn't seem to matter and for the other two letters, the more in common the better.

                  So for, example, and INTJ would do best with an ENTP or and INTP.

            2. Brett L   11 years ago

              My wife and I talked about it because she had to do a bunch of that shit as a college advisor. Mostly as a time-filler as best I can tell. We are opposite on every category. Which makes us perfect!

              1. lap83   11 years ago

                My mom and dad are opposites in personality too. If my siblings and I are any indication, your kids won't be normal. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

                1. Brett L   11 years ago

                  your kids won't be normal

                  Don't tell my wife, but I am actively working towards that end.

      2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        Apparently, 2/3 of women are feelers while 2/3 of men are thinkers.

        WAR ON WOMENZ? Or science?

        1. Virginian   11 years ago

          Apparently, 2/3 of women are feelers while 2/3 of men are thinkers.

          Wow that is totally shocking information right there.

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            Feminists of course would blame socialization and culture.

    9. SugarFree   11 years ago

      The Japanese are convinced that personality is tied to bloodtype.

      Go on, laugh. That's what A+'s always do when confronted with the truth.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        HAHAHAHA! ....wait a minute, I am APos...

        Aieee!!!!

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          wait a minute, I am APos...

          Don't be so hard on yourself

          1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

            *thinks about it for a moment, then breaks into slow clapping*

    10. robc   11 years ago

      Slightly better than a horoscope.

      INTPs unite!

      INTJs will be first against the wall.

      1. Citizen Nothing   11 years ago

        Damn straight.

      2. kinnath   11 years ago

        Started my first sour ale last weekend. It's fermenting in a basement bathroom with the door closed and far away from my normal brewing room. The primary is sitting in the shower stall. I can spray the whole thing down with sulfite solution if I need to. Should be reasonably safe 😉

        1. robc   11 years ago

          Yeah, that was why I never did a sour, I didnt want to have dedicated equipment/space.

          1. kinnath   11 years ago

            I was going to brew in my garage. Even bought a heating pad to control temperature. Then I got busy and wasted a month. So now it is summer so brewing has to be in the house.

    11. lap83   11 years ago

      I like Myers Briggs. I'm an INTP or INTJ or something, which is a rare type for a woman and it has helped me understand why I don't get along with most of them.

      It's a useful tool for understanding yourself and others. But not the be-all and end-all.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Remarkable that the commentariat here seems to be either INTP or INTJ, neither of which are super common.

        INTP here. Seems a pretty decent description, really.

        1. lap83   11 years ago

          The description of INTP totally sounds libertarian. It's pretty much "Wants to be left alone and detached until someone violates it's principles (then proceeds to make sarcastic comments to trolls online)"

        2. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

          INTJ, but to be fair, 3 of the scores weren't too far from the middle.

        3. CatoTheElder   11 years ago

          INTP here as well. My wife says the characterization is uncannily accurate.

    12. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

      It's BS. Even if it's not BS, the end result doesn't measure degree. So if you get a 49 you're and introvert and a 51 your an extrovert? Okay....

  30. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    Ed needs way more kudos for perpetuating the "punchable face" meme. I, for one, applaud you, sir.

    Pentagon cops got all up in my shizz this morning because I was standing in the center island of the bus terminal, trying to flag down the shuttle. When I said "I'm just trying to flag down the Route 2 bus" (the Route 2 was no more than 50 yards away, coming toward us), he looked at me like I'd just told him I was the real-life tooth fairy.

    They must have no worries about terrarists at the Pentagon anymore.

    1. Steve G   11 years ago

      Their latest chicanery: inspecting bags LEAVING the pentagon. For bombs/guns/drugs? No, but if you bring your govt laptop home--ya know, since it's a laptop signed out to you meant for travel, etc--without a receipt, signed by yourself, giving yourself permission to take it home, they hassle you.
      Yeah, there are no terrorists anymore and the Pentagon Force Protection Agency is apparently the Theft Protection Agency now.

  31. Slammer   11 years ago


    Hillary Clinton: We Were Dead Broke

    'We Gave Speeches to Pay Off Debt, Numerous Homes'

    Also, Iowahawk on twitter: Hillary: $5 million in "speaking fees" since March, because I guess corporations want hear good word talker lady

    1. John   11 years ago

      Bill made millions in speaking fees when he left the Presidency. They also get a fat pension from that.

      Just how the hell did they manage to go broke?

      1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

        "...but I'll do a dandy job managing the nation's finances."

        1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

          *applause*

    2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      According to Clinton, she and her husband, who has made over $100 million since leaving the White House, "struggled to, you know, piece together the resources for mortgages for houses, for Chelsea's education, you know, it was not easy."

      I thought that's what public schools are supposed to be for?

      1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        mortgages for houses

        Both of those words are plural. Perhaps they only need, you know, one house, like most of the rest of us?

        1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

          Have you *seen* how much they charge for arugula these days, Kristen?

          1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

            It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?

            1. Mr. Soul   11 years ago

              there is always money in the banana stand.

        2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Perhaps they only need, you know, one house, like most of the rest of us?

          I don't even have that many.

      2. robc   11 years ago

        I didnt know Hillary was in the NBA.

    3. waffles   11 years ago

      If you are broke with that kind of income you have a spending problem, not an earning problem. Gee, that sounds familiar.

      1. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

        Nuh-uh!

        /Pelosi

        1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          Or Tony.

  32. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    That's a travesty, and the SC is to blame. A police dog can alert for any number of reasons, most of which have zero to do with actual drugs being there.

    I was just wishing yesterday (for no good reason) for some of this bullshit to strike some Supreme Court justice in a personal way. Do Clarence Thomas or Scalia have kids? They must have nieces or nephews, or, even better, clerks. It's terribly, terribly wrong, but I would be curious to see how those clowns would respond if someone near and dear to them were subjected to a "routine" roadside Papieren, bitte stop and be forced to prove to the satisfaction of some jack-booted ignoramus that they weren't guilty of anything.

    Of course anyone with close ties to the Top Men is well schooled in the protocols of "Don't you know who I am?"

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      "Don't you know who I am?"

      The peasant. Papers, please.

      1. CatoTheElder   11 years ago

        In my experience, they don't bother with the 'please' part anymore.

        Such pleasantries went out of fashion in the 90s.

  33. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    I get cheese from a French guy in a truck on Saturdays. It is unreal.

    is that what the kids are calling it, these days?

  34. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    You'd think I would be used to people bailing at the last minute after doing online dating, but I'm still pretty annoyed at my friend for sending me a text at 4:30 AM to tell me he wasn't going to do the hike we planned to leave for at 6:30 AM.

    1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      So cracked open a beer in the knowledge that you had given it your best shot.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        I still went, but I had to modify the route so I got back to my car at the end (instead of shuttling between the two cars). It cut down the hike from 24 miles to 19.

    2. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Don't go hiking alone.

      1. Matrix   11 years ago

        I always take my buddies Smith & Wesson with me.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          STEVE SMITH laughs at anything less powerful than a .45-70.

      2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        I'm going to be doing the Long Trail at the end of the summer, and alone for about 2 weeks of it. You've got to let people know your itinerary, but if you're on a well traveled path like the AT or LT going alone isn't something you need to avoid.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          You'll leave a 410 and come back a 12 gauge.

      3. Citizen Nothing   11 years ago

        I was going to do some very cursory solo hiking in Glacier N.P. last week, but a guide dissuaded me with tales of bears.

        1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

          Sadly there were no bears, so I didn't get to try out the Warty technique.

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            Making sweet and tender love to a bear?

            1. Agammamon   11 years ago

              *Raping* it. Keep up man.

    3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      I learned there is a correlation between the earliness of a planned activity and the odds of it being cancelled. I am always pleasantly surprised when early morning plans actually happen.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Well, it was supposed to be the entire weekend. I'm more upset that canceled 2 hours prior than that he canceled. I had to scramble to come up with an alternative I could do with only one car and I ended up with way more food in my bag than necessary.

        1. R C Dean   11 years ago

          way more food in my bag than necessary.

          Does not compute.

  35. Matrix   11 years ago

    Judge acquits a woman who killed her husband in self defense.

    Even the police did not want to charge her. Actually, the detective sided with her! It was the DA (acronym in this, and many cases, stands for both District Attorney and Dumb Ass). This guy appears to be a real POS. I mean the daughter even witnessed her mother being beaten and choked out by her husband, and she stabs him in the leg... PROSECUTE!

    A spokesman for Cannizzaro's office said it was "disappointed but, unfortunately, not surprised" by the verdict. "When violent crime goes unpunished, the entire community, more than any single person, is the victim. ... The entire city should be aggrieved by the outcome."

    Fuck that guy right in the ear.

    1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      "When violent crime goes unpunished..."

      The violent crime did *not* go unpunished, dickweed.

      1. John   11 years ago

        IN fairness, they did fail to punish that guy for terrorizing his wife and kids all of those years. So there is that.

  36. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    "When violent crime goes unpunished, the entire community, more than any single person, is the victim. ... The entire city should be aggrieved by the outcome."

    Fucking causation- how does it work?

  37. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    So, Uber says it's going to ignore the cease & desist in Virginia. I sure hope so because I have no other plans for a ride home form the dentist next month, and I sure as shit am not giving my money to the taxi cartel!

    1. John   11 years ago

      This is going to be fun. Uber is totally a hipster elite thing. Watching the NOVA hipster elite slug it out with the Terry McAuliffe corruption machine looking to protect their cronies in the cab industry is going to delicious.

      1. Virginian   11 years ago

        The Dems going apeshit over the GOP buying out that Dem state senator with a judgeship for his daughter and a sinecure for him is very very funny.

        1. John   11 years ago

          McAuliffe is the gift that will keep on giving. I can't believe the Dems were so stupid and arrogant they nominated him. Who cares if he won? Winning with a guy who is going to be horrible and damage the party is worse than losing. McAuliffe is going to set the Virginia Democratic Party back ten years.

      2. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

        Uber is cheaper than a taxi in a lot of circumstances. It's better than a taxi for people like me who will be high on dental drugs because there's no cash or credit cards exchanged with the driver.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I am totally on the hipsters' side in this one. Uber is great and the cab monopoly horrible. It is just going to be funny watching various NOVA hip liberals find out government regulation isn't so cool when it applies to something they like.

    2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      I suspect I'm going to be using Uber more and more. My sister's friend just moved in to our third bedroom and he's in love with it.

  38. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    But those guys from Uber and such don't have insurance, or drivers' licenses, or anything. And the cars are literally death traps. I know, because some guy said so on the Bloomberg News.

    1. Sevo   11 years ago

      And they run into things, as we know 'cause one of 'em did last year some time.

    2. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      And we all know that the State is the only authority we can and should trust on the safety and reliability of car services. All those 100s of Uber driver user reviews are meaningless.

      1. John   11 years ago

        As crazy as it sounds, I am actually tempted to go be an uber driver some night for kicks. You could provide people a service they need, make a few bucks and maybe have some nice conversation. I have spent worse evenings.

        1. RBS   11 years ago

          I used to deliver food in law school. It would have been nice to also deliver a few people.

          1. John   11 years ago

            And the fact that doing it is "illegal" and sticking it to some government crony monopoly makes it double appealing. It is not only an evening well spent, it is really an act of civil disobedience.

      2. Agammamon   11 years ago

        Are those reviewers *licensed*? By the government? I think not. Game. Set. Match.

    3. Steve G   11 years ago

      Dolphin rape is real...and it happens in Uber cars

  39. Sevo   11 years ago

    I doubt this 'industry' would even exist if it weren't for taxpayer money:

    "Tariffs could dim solar energy's rapid growth"

    The US is gonna charge the Chinese makers of solar panels at the behest of a German firm and I assume to protect its misbegotten 'investments' in the remaining Solyndras.
    http://www.sfgate.com/business.....538030.php

    1. John   11 years ago

      No it wouldn't. If it were efficient, it wouldn't need any subsidies.

  40. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    Ugh. Xkcd today is nothing but a climate change PSA. There's not a joke in it at all.

    1. tarran   11 years ago

      The stuff he drew in high school and his first years in college is his best work. It's been a long decline afterwards.

    2. waffles   11 years ago

      Nobody has ever adequately explained to me why climate change is a bad thing. It seems to me that if you are Canadian or Russian a few degrees of warming would be extremely desirable. Surely there are winners and losers in this.

      1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        It's because human beings are incapable of adapting to new things. We live in stasis. Without government spurring us along, we never change, innovate, or do anything on our own. So climate change will overwhelm people unless government causes them to act. Or something.

      2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Because people in New York City might have to move, or borrow some Dutch technology.

        1. Corning   11 years ago

          Here is NY adapting to sea level rise since the 1600s:

          http://www.mitosyfraudes.org/i.....mation.gif

    3. db   11 years ago

      It's rather disappointing, as.it.is presented as solid fact, with discussion of the.uncertainty in the.models. it is the worst sort of.dumbing down. Take a huge scientific report, which has.its.own problems.with fact and.opinions., and.reduce.it to a one.panel.comic. yay, that's some.solid.public service there, dude.

      1. Corning   11 years ago

        Take a huge scientific report

        I would not call the IPCC scientific.

        Political is more like it.

    4. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      He does that a lot.

    5. Swiss Servator, CH yeah!   11 years ago

      The author, despite his sciency background, has been a climate alarmist for years now, science is settled, etc.

  41. Virginian   11 years ago

    A picture worth a thousand words.

    1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      That is cool. And straight from the gubmint horse's mouth.

    2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      How do we TVs go down by over 100%? Stores are paying you to take them now?

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        EDIT BUTTON: It's "relative to the 23% increase for all prices", so I guess that means -100% would mean it stayed constant.

    3. Griffin3   11 years ago

      subsidized ... and regulated. The DOT regulation (that all the manufacturers signed on to) locks out most all third party vendors, which means I couldn't* get headlight lenses for my wife's car for less than $900 EACH. So the one item in the chart above the line that isn't subsidized is a blatant government-regulated monopoly.

      [*Actually, since two more manufacturers have jumped the DOT hurdles to get authorized, headlights are down to $550/pair. But the maddening part is ... it doesn't include bulbs, or the little motor that levels them. DOT regulations enforce a monopoly of the friggin clear plastic lens!!!]

  42. Jerryskids   11 years ago


    I am going to put this here
    , but before you click on the link, I would like to say goodbye to those of you are about to read it and then go blow your brains out upon deciding you no longer want to live in a world this stupid.

    1. John   11 years ago

      I will give him credit, he is at least honest and admits that "reasonable restrictions" and "permits" are not what these assholes want.

    2. creech   11 years ago

      It just goes to show you what not banning alcohol costs in human lives.
      If the cop killer had been high on pot instead, maybe the cop would still be alive.

    3. Agammamon   11 years ago

      So, no-one stops to ask how banning guns would have stopped dipshit from getting the gun he used to shoot the cop.

      *Nor* do they see this as a reason to question the usefulness of the permitting system (except to use its failure as justification for more restrictions on gun ownership).

      And FINALLY. No-one see how a law-abiding gun owner *stopped* a criminal with his weapon. Yeah, the guy who shot the cop - he wasn't a 'good guy'. Just having a gun permit doesn't mean you're 'good', it only means that you haven't been caught doing something that would lose you permission to carry.

      1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

        That was my problem - the guy is demolishing the 'good guy with a gun' argument with the argument that here was a good guy with a gun who shot a cop.

        That only works if you interpret 'good guy with a gun' as 'the guy is good because he has a gun' rather than 'a good guy. With a gun.' You can be a good guy with or without a gun. Drunkenly shooting cops in the back is not necessarily evidence of being a good person. (Although, to be fair, I'm not going to put up much of an argument that drunkenly shooting cops in the back is necessarily evidence of being a bad person, either. Omelette, eggs.)

        In order to believe this guys interpretation of what he thinks the NRA thinks, you would have to believe that the NRA advocates having cops conduct random searches of people and anyone found to be not carrying a gun should be arrested. If having a gun is what makes you a good person, than logically not having a gun makes you a bad person. I don't believe for a second that that's the NRA's position.

  43. Citizen Nothing   11 years ago

    Any of you freaks coming to C'Bus this month for the Libertarian National Convention?

    1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      Already there.

      1. Citizen Nothing   11 years ago

        Good thinkin'. You can avoid the lines.

        1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

          I'm sure it will be packed full of women

    2. Azathoth!!   11 years ago

      I just left. I have to go back?

  44. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    Speaking of hipster, I'm starting to get hungry and my favorite food trucks haven't tweeted their locations yet. First world problems...

    1. John   11 years ago

      Try and have a conversation with the person in front of you in line about the upcoming World Cup. That way you can have the complete hipster experience today.

      1. robc   11 years ago

        Nothing hipster about the world cup.

        Now, if you are American and the only sport you follow is international soccer, you might be a hipster.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Yes, in the rest of the world the World Cup is about working class nationalism, racism and fascism put to sport. In America, it is mostly a way for hipsters to like a sport while still maintaining their sense of smug superiority.

          1. robc   11 years ago

            Some of us follow just about every sport though. So talking about the World Cup is no different than talking about the US Open.

            1. John   11 years ago

              Yes. I am that way. For me Soccer is like an Olympic sport. Every four years I have a reason to care and follow it a bit, just like I will pay attention to speed skating or track and field every four years.

          2. Brett L   11 years ago

            I'm just interested in seeing if the refs are really brave enough to call diving penalties on Brazil, because you know they dive like a salvage operation.

      2. db   11 years ago

        You have to turn your nose up at soccer and say you prefer jai alai* because it is less.commercial for the total hipster experience.

        *interesting note: my Android spell check autocorrects "jai alai" to "Nazi Dalai."

        1. waffles   11 years ago

          Buy jai alai was introduced to the Unisted States as a purely commercial venture.

          1. db   11 years ago

            Yeah, well often hipsters have a side.of.unintentional irony to go along with.the intended variety.

        2. Agammamon   11 years ago

          'Hey, should I have a helmet for this?'

          'Probably'

          'What?'

          *WACK*

        3. R C Dean   11 years ago

          Nazi Dalai?

          So, like some kind of Buddhist national socialist leader?

          I'm afraid to Google. OK, I'm not. 638,000 references. Including the ChiComs accusing the Dalai Lama of being a Nazi.

          Which pretty much broke both the irony meter and the projection meter on my computer.

          1. CatoTheElder   11 years ago

            Just what I would expect. After all the Buddhists use the swastika as a religious symbol, and the Dalai lama is a socialist.

    2. Sevo   11 years ago

      ..."I'm starting to get hungry and my favorite food trucks haven't tweeted their locations yet."...

      There ought to be a law!

    3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      Well, no Ethiopian food for me today. They're only a mile away, but there's no bus that will take me near there and get me back. And it's dog's breath outside, so I'm not really in favor of walking.

      1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

        I'm trying to decide what to go eat. On vacation this week so plenty of time. Thinking BBQ.

      2. Drake   11 years ago

        If only somebody would invent other means of personal transportation.

        1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

          Like a rickshaw?

      3. Agammamon   11 years ago

        Bus. Bus bus bus.

        I sorta remember those as things I used to get around on, you know, *before* I got a car.

        1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

          I haz a car, but it's sitting in my home parking lot, because no one in their right mind would drive into downtown DC on a weekday morning if they have easy access to a perfectly good Metro station. Not to mention the train is 1/2 the cost of driving.

          1. Agammamon   11 years ago

            Not to mention the train is 1/2 the cost of driving.

            SUBSIDUZ!

  45. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    They're only a mile away, but there's no bus that will take me near there and get me back.

    Don't you have a suitcase moped? What kind of low rent hipster are you?

    1. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      I know - I fail at hipsterism. My bike also has gears. Ten of 'em.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        I bet if you count carefully, you will discover that your bike only has 7 gears. I know, market failure, amirite?

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Mine has 10. 21 possible combinations.

  46. Corning   11 years ago

    Punchable faces are a product of evolution, according to researchers at the University of Utah, who suggest the human face evolved to minimize damage from violence.

    Sadly we did not evolve any protection from being stabbed by spears.

  47. Slammer   11 years ago

    Interpretive dance? Juggling? Jiggling?

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