A.M. Links: Feinstein, Chambliss Read About Bergdahl Torture in the Newspaper, Bulldozing Mountains in China a Concern, Miss Nevada Chosen as Miss USA

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  • two titles ago
    Pageant Update

    Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl says he was kept in a cage and tortured by the Taliban while in captivity. On the Sunday talk show circuit, Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and ranking member Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) said they didn't know about the alleged torture until they read about it in the newspapers and that President Obama did not provide them enough information about the release. Secretary of State John Kerry, meanwhile, defended the decision to trade with the Taliban for Bergdahl.

  • A man and a woman in Las Vegas shot two cops at a pizza café Sunday morning before shooting a third person at a Walmart. According to police, the woman then killed the man and herself.
  • Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez won yesterday's Miss US A pageant.
  • The Pakistan Taliban attacked and seized Jinnah International Airport in Karachi, killing 28. They say the attack was in retaliation for drone strikes in the country and promised it was just the beginning.
  • Environmentalists in China are starting to worry about the practice of bulldozing mountains and filling valleys to create space for building more cities.
  • For prostitutes in Venezuela, trading dollars is more lucrative than sex work.
  • Punchable faces are a product of evolution, according to researchers at the University of Utah, who suggest the human face evolved to minimize damage from violence.

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  1. Environmentalists in China are starting to worry about the practice of bulldozing mountains and filling valleys to create space for building more cities.

    Talk about your flat earth society.

    1. Hello.

      “Punchable faces are a product of evolution,”

      Which then migrated to politics. So many punchable faces.

    2. Nice.

  2. Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez won yesterday’s Miss US A pageant.

    This is a link because Krayewski wants to up his page views.

    1. For some reason it took me extra long to check the alt-text today…

      1. Yeah, you can’t spell “two titles ago” without ?.

          1. Nice, um, “catch”.

    2. Contestents:

      http://www.missuniverse.com/mi…../year:2014

      1. Just based on these pics I would have to go with Pennsylvania.

        1. I can’t tell a damn thing from those photos other than they’re all above par. So much head tilt.

        2. Alaska, Pennsylvania or Vermont get my votes.

          Why do they all have gumby necks, though? Is that supposed to be sexy?

      2. Can’t anyone take a straight-up picture anymore without all these poses and props?

        1. I’ll get off of your lawn.

    3. She won because of her speech promoting world piece.

      1. That’s cutting edge right there. I can’t believe she would put herself out on a limb like that.

  3. Mexican police arrest man after he takes his baby HIPPO for an evening stroll around neighbourhood
    Hippo found in Tlajomulco de Zunigaa in the state of Jalisco
    Man said he kept the animal at his home was not too far away
    Police surrounded the hippo and guided it into a cage

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rhood.html
    American cops would have joyfully killed the thing.

  4. Detroit fades away: The decline of Motor City as seen through Google Street View

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-View.html
    Wow. That is all.

    1. See, that’s what happens when there is not enough government spending – SOMALIA!

      1. Wait, I thought Detroit had enough Somalian immigrants that they could officially change the name to Somalia North.

        1. No. That’s Lewiston Maine.

          1. Or Minneapolis.

            Didn’t detritus mayor propose something in the way of giving abandoned houses to Somali immigrants? Before he was sent,to,jail, of course.

            1. Lol. “detroits” autocorrects to “detritus” if you don’t capitalize it.

              Apple FTW.

              1. You forgot the apostrophe, too.

                1. “detritu’s”

                  Fixed!

              2. Dang, if I had called Detroit ‘Detritus’ I would never have admitted that it was only by accident. That’s pretty clever.

                Not that this means Apple is the wittiest fruit around, of course.

            2. Or Toronto or London Ontario.

              Are there any Somalis left in Somalia?

              1. Enough to form three countries!

              2. I love that Somalis all seem to move to places least like Somalia. When they decide where to go the first question seems to be, “What do you have in the ‘cold as fuck’ category?”

                1. I love that Somalis all seem to move to places least like Somalia. When they decide where to go the first question seems to be, “What do you have in the ‘cold as fuck’ category?”

                  “There’s no place like home – and I thank God every day for that, because I don’t want to be reminded of it.”

                  1. One of the great 20th century ironies is send the Hmong refugees to Minnesota.

      2. If you people listened to Tony, you’d know that capitalism killed Detroit (but mysteriously spared most of the suburbs).

    2. I wonder if the Google Maps drivers get hazard pay in Detroit.

      1. This is why they are working on the driverless car…

        1. ::shakes fist::

          1. Why you gotta be mean to Fist like that?

            1. Shaken commenter syndrome.

      2. Google probably invented their driverless car tech for no other reason than to safely transit the Motor City.

    3. That tells the story pretty well. How bad does a place have to be when you can’t give away homes there?

    4. Wow for real. Ok, I would like the gang here to once and for all settle whether Detroit fell because of progressive, Democrat policies and politics or is it more complicated; something more nuanced?

      1. Unions chased away a lot of businesses, the population plummeted, and voila. The population is less than half of what it was in 1950.

        1. It’s more complicated than that. Those union jobs mostly stayed where they were but the people performing them moved to Oakland County because of Detroit’s out of control local tax scheme. That caused the property values to plummet and what amounted to a run on the bank IRT selling off houses. Add to that the legacy costs they can’t get out of (here’s where the unions fucked the residents so bad) and staffing levels that are locked in by contract (unions again) and they had to keep spiking property taxes, which furthered the exodus.

          The union jobs stayed because of government bailouts, but they are mostly there. Just look at the population rise in Oakland a County and how it corresponds to the fall in Detroit. Same for property values.

          1. It’s interesting now — they’ve got the two-tier structure in the UAW pretty much set in place now. People who have been there forever make a lot, have huge benefits, etc. New hires make far less, and are on a different wage track then the old ones.

            The UAW fought against that for a long time, but it’s pretty entrenched now.

            There’s a lot of old boomers there, too, who must be getting close to retirement.

        1. Detroit also has a business regulatory agency that measures its effectiveness by the number of businesses it shuts down.

          I am not making this up.

      2. I’m in the state and avoid the Detroit area as much as possible (except for shopping trips!). My sister lived there for 15 years or so, and said the work ethic of most of her co-workers was terrible (she was at an advertising firm that did all of Chrysler’s north American ads).

      3. I blame the Lions.

      4. Capitalists looting the working class!

      5. It was the result of urban flight caused by the government subsidizing midnight trains going anywhere.

        1. +1 some will win, some will lose.

    5. Captain Sensible, Newcastle upon Tyne, United Kingdom, 20 minutes ago
      It is such a shame that the richest nation on earth allows this to happen. How does the rest of America sleep at night knowing Detroit looks like this? Along with the devestation from Katrina it seems your politicians are not interested in serving the very people who vote them into power!

      Reap the whirlwind, friend.

      1. Haha, yeah, because it is *politicians* who.can fix Detroit.

        1. Too bad Katrina wiped out Detroit after it finished with Nawlins.

        2. My dad worked most of his life in Detroit and I grew up reading The Detroit Free Press and listening to CKLW and WJR – there was more than a little ‘a lot of corrupt white politicians got rich fucking over Detroit and now it’s our turn’ out of the Coleman Young crowd – and of course criticizing Coleman Young was proof that you kept an extra set of white sheets in your closet.


          This is how I remember it.

          1. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of that around Atlanta as well. There are people who know for a fact that the TEA Party is just the KKK dressed up in designer sheets, for example. How do they know? Well, if you’re calling for smaller government and government employees are disproportionately Black middle-class workers who owe their middle-class status to the fact that they have government jobs, why then, “smaller government” is just code for “get rid of all those uppity Negroes who think they’re entitled to have jobs as good as us decent White folk”.

            The thing is, some of the people who make this argument seem to be otherwise-intelligent people so you kinda scratch your head wondering where this bizarre, twisted logic comes from, but others you’re pretty damn sure are just godwinning the thread. Why bother arguing facts when you can just scream “racist!” and end the debate?

            1. An acquaintance posted a pic on Facebook the other day of a bunch of thuggy-looking black guys with some kind of rifle and shot gun. He said “Dear Tea Partiers: do you want people like this owning guns?”

              I’m not sure he was aware that he was demonstrating his own racism. Because, yes, I would like people “like that” owning guns. There was no indication from the pic that the guys were anything but a bunch of run-of-the-mill black guys dressed like Breakin’-era Ice T.

              1. I do, too. It doesn’t matter to me what someone looks like. They have a right to self-defense. Like the Ice T of New Jack City.

        3. He’s right about politicians though – even if not in the way he intended.

      2. Hey Cap, have a look around your own city.

      3. When did Katrina become the leitmotif for American problems?

        Jesus.

        What, Sandy’s response was any better?

        1. One involved Boosh, the other did not.

      4. How does the rest of America sleep at night knowing Detroit looks like this?

        Like a freakin’ baby with a tequila-soaked pacifier, bub.

    6. Google street view has been putting around my town lately, so some folks staged a murder as it went by. Someone freaked and called the cops.

      1. Heh, wonder what will happen when they get to Palisade in Nevada

        1. This is amazing stuff.

        2. Pre-internet trolling…and it worked!

      2. When Google Street View visited Bergen, Norway, one of the friends of the guy driving the car found out when the car was going to drive down a particular street, and dressed for the occasion.

        Supposedly the Street View car in Finland caught several passed-out drunks, but I couldn’t find a good link for that one.

      3. Hmm, the police found it funny. No tasers, no dead dogs. Nope, they just found it funny.

    7. Yeah, my wife and I drive through Detroit at least once a year and have been for years. The decline is noticeable just from what you can see from the freeway driving through. More houses seem to be boarded up than not. Not that it wasn’t a shit hole to begin with.

    8. From the comments:
      …”the damage has been cause by a republican governor who diverted funds for the poor to tax cuts for businesses and the rich in Detroit”…

      1. Businesses don’t provide poor people with jobs, only the Government’s Job Fairy does.

      2. How did he do that?

    9. Whoa. I looked at the first pic then the second and thought, “Damn, that’s pretty bad.” But that third pic blew me away. I didn’t think it would be that bad. The last set of pics is also amazing.

      And the newest comment: “Stop blaming Democrats you Idiots.”

  5. Whitehall residents: Gold in drinking water

    http://www.nbcmontana.com/news…..r/26334156
    People find flakes of gold in their drinking water, and then they complain about it. Fuck.

    1. Dear complaining residents of Whitehall,

      I will rid you of this troublesome water – just send it to me.

      v/r

      Swiss Servator, mehr geld!

    2. Hilarious. They didn’t ask where the well is and head out there with pickaxes?

    3. The government is going to confiscate it in taxes anyhow, or claim these water-drinkers are smuggling gold.

    4. My first thought was why these morons didn’t keep quiet and.install a particle.filter.on their.incoming water.line.

      1. If they have a gold flake dispenser tapped into the water line … what an awesome way to flip a house. Act like you are concerned about the health effects, and … PROFIT$

    5. Which is why Amazon is out of stock on this.

    6. Ah! I just noticed there’s alcohol in my Goldschlager!! Fuck!

    7. I predict a lot of sluices are going to be sold in Whitehall, and a lot of people are going to have sudden increases in their water usage.

  6. In regards to prisoner exchange, I wonder what the Taliban would be willing to exchange for our high profile national politicians?

    1. I suspect it would pay us to keep them, Little Red Chief style.

      1. +1 Bill Porter

    2. Shit, they’re probably establishing an exploratory committee to challenge the 22nd Amendment from overseas.

  7. Cop Refuses To Work At Gay Pride Parade In Utah

    http://sacramento.cbslocal.com…..e-in-utah/

    The officer, whose name was not released, is on paid administrative leave pending the outcome of an internal affairs investigation.

    At least the officer didn’t have to kill anyone to get a paid vacation.

    1. Then let him eat wedding cake.

    2. This asshole got the same punishment as themUtah cop that was making up all those DUI’s and ruining peoples lives in the process.

      Just think about that for a minute.

      1. Wow. He needed to be punished. It is not his job to decide what events deserve a police presence. That said, the equivalency is just mind blowing.

        1. Oh of course. He deserves a suspension. That other cop deserves a lengthy prison sentence.

          Guess which one will make HuffPo’s main page though.

        2. To put it in Religious Freedom Restoration Act terms, the government has a *compelling interest* in providing security to First Amendment-protected marches/demonstrations, and requiring their employees to give such protection, without regard to the views of the demonstrators is the *least restrictive alternative.*

          1. Actually, unless this guy ‘put them in a bind’ by saying he was not going to do this late, I think this is exactly the kind of case where he should have been granted an exemption. I bet there are a lots of cops they would have exempted from this duty or shift for other reasons (like sick kid or personal day). They would have to show they have a compelling interest in not exempting a handful of officers for these events, and this doesn’t seem like the most narrowly tailored way of meeting their interest (couldn’t they have a system where someone else covers his shift?).

            1. So you want to live in a community where you get police protection based not on your rights but on the officer’s own personal biases?

            2. What happens when virtually every cop conscientiously refuses to provide security at a Free Mumia rally, or a Justice for Ryan Frederick rally?

      2. This one? Or is there another? To be honest, it likely happens much more often than we think. The officer can book you on just about anything. The courts decide how much of it sticks.

        Anyway, in the case I linked she was fired and is being pursued (albeit civilly).

    3. Wait a minute. Dunphy told me that cops don’t make the rules. They follow procedure…no thinking required. Yet this guy though he could make a personal decision on how to do his job. I am confuse.

      1. Cops are liars.

        hth

        1. Guess I didn’t understand the totality of the circs.

          smooches

  8. Police tracked innocent business owner’s truck while searching for drugs… then left a NOTE to explain
    Matthew Heller attended a concert in Tampa Florida in February and left his truck parked in the venue’s parking lot
    When he returned, Heller found that his truck had been ransacked and damage had been done in the process
    In addition to the damage, Heller found a note from the Tampa Police Department explaining that they searched his car for marijuana while he was in the concert
    No marijuana was found in his vehicle

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..plain.html

    1. “While the search is legal, it is not typical. The Tampa Police Department is now reviewing the specifics of this investigation.”

      1. Reviewing to see how they can do the searches without the targets noticing.

    2. They said a dog ‘alerted’, so they have the alleged reaction of a four-legged probable cause machine.

      1. That’s a travesty, and the SC is to blame. A police dog can alert for any number of reasons, most of which have zero to do with actual drugs being there.

        Was it Balko that did the story on cop dogs only being right about 50% of the time they alert but judges allow the warrentless searches in about 100% of the cases brought to them?

        1. Mythbusters just did an episode last night that showed how awesome those drug sniffing dogs are.

          I wish they had done a control with no hidden contraband and seen if the dog alerted.

          1. The dogs are virtually infallible with a good handler properly working the dog, but the cops on the street just want the dog to provide an alert to justify a search, so that is what the dog picks up on, rather than any actual drug scent.

          2. Even Cracked.com has something on this

            http://www.cracked.com/article…..-work.html

            1. Pretty sad when Cracked is actually better-informed than the Supreme Court.

          3. Saw that. They were using whatever they train the dogs with, which we were assured numerous times is not an illegal substance.

            The fact that a dog that is trained on X and super-good at finding X tells you little to nothing about how good he is at finding Y or Z.

            Plus, they didn’t mention any false positives. Maybe there weren’t any, but . . . .

        2. Yeah, the SC completely ignores the fact that a dog will alert based not just on scent, but on non-verbal cues from its handler. The dog then gets rewarded not for finding drugs, but for alerting, because that is what the handler wants as it provides legal cover to search whoever and whatever they want. The handler is often unintentionally providing those cues, because dogs are geniuses at reading human body language.

          1. Unintentionally?

            1. Sometimes, yeah. They really, really want the dog to alert, and the dog often picks up on this and alerts for them. But they didn’t necessarily give the dog an intentional signal. Although they probably give intentional signals as well when they want to search.

          2. So the dog is named Clever Hans

          3. Clever Hans Effect

            1. Too slow.

              1. That’s what Greedo (would have) said.

        3. I think the failure rate of drug/bomb dogs is far greater than 50%.

          1. I think the failure rate of drug/bomb dogs is far greater than 50%.

            I’m sure you’re right about the drug dogs, not so sure about (at least some of) the bomb dogs. I happen to be related to a bomb-dog handler, and they do not fuck around with that training. (The training is done by the US military, they have some strict testing even to get into the training program and they will kick a would-be handler out of the program in a heartbeat.)

            A ‘drug dog’ is just a fig leaf to cover a warrantless search so who cares if they have a 100% failure rate? An inaccurate bomb dog causes people to die.

  9. From the comments:

    Grey, Alabama, United States, 1 hour ago
    I was pulled over once when I was 19, and the police searched my car. I was driving home from university and had a back seat full of clothes. The police asked me to get out of my car. They then proceeded to dump all of my things on to the street including my books in my book bag. They found nothing and let me go. I had to pick up everything off the side of the road after they just drove off. I was a 19 year old girl and they put me in danger of being hit by another car or kidnapped or who knows what else while I was scrambling around getting my things off the side of the road. To this day I have no idea why I was pulled over in the first place. They gave me no ticket or warning. I guess I was lucky they didnt destroy the cars interior. I have had no respect for police since.

    1. War on Women?

    2. If it is just you and the cop, he just says you consented. Unless there is a tape showing otherwise, any hack judge in the land is going to believe him and maybe even if there is a tape that says otherwise.

      Worse, since the exclusionary rule only helps guilty people on trial, if you are innocent, you have no remedy. Go fuck yourself and be happy he didn’t need an arrest that day and thus didn’t feel the need to plant evidence.

    3. After performing a public service of this kind one cop said to another followed by a reply:

      “High five! Good job!”

      “We get to go home now. Phew!”

    4. Why do I suspect that a close inventory of her unmentionables would find a few missing.

  10. On the Sunday talk show circuit, Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and ranking member Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) said they didn’t know about the alleged torture until they read about it in the newspapers…

    Both proving they’re presidential material.

    1. In a, um, sane world this would result in something.

      At some point ol’ Dianne is a-gonna get pissed.

      1. Somehow I’m not seeing the upshot. Does it add or subtract to the case for retrieving him that he was tortured? Do we think he was tortured and broken or something?

        1. Who the hell knows?

          My point is: How can these “Intelligence Committee” weenies be uninformed about this?

        2. Still doesn’t explain why he deserted in the first place. This is just trying to cut off criticism by attempting to make him look sympathetic.

    2. Feinstein and Chambliss had to find this out by reading the paper. See, if only we hadn’t unconscionably restrained the NSA in the performance of their (completely Constitutional, lawful, necessary and proper, unquestionably holy) duties of maintaining a strict surveillance of everything that moves here on God’s Green Earth, they would have known about this earlier.

  11. Alcohol sensor on Tampa beaches.

    The Chief: “We can go up to anyone we want…when you add the alcohol the youth it doesn’t give you a more intelligent human being.

    1. Lovely. Just for the record, that’s not even in the same county as Tampa, though it’s close enough, I guess.

    1. But ”Eugene Goostman”, a computer programme developed to simulate a 13-year-old boy, managed to convince 33 per cent of the judges that it was human, the university said.

      So they programmed a computer to respond to everything with “Shut up” and “You suck”?

      1. They can’t even spell “program” like a decent human being. How am I supposed to believe they’ve found a way for it to pass a Turing test?

      2. “you NEVER let me play beer pong with my 25 year old boyfriend. NO FAIR” oh wait, wrong gender

        1. Was at work yesterday, and a coworker mentions her younger sister is alone at her house with her two male roommates, and that she needed to get back home because “I don’t trust them alone with her.”

          Now I could understand if you left your 18 or 19 year old little sister alone with a couple 20 something guys, but if you’re worried about your 13 year old you either need to sit down with your sister or get new roommates.

          1. But all menz are rapists, because Rape Kulture!!11!!!

          2. No kidding. If she thinks her roommates are child rapists, she needs to maybe stop hanging around with them.

            Sadly, what is almost certainly going on is that she has been so brain washed that she honestly thinks every man is liable to rape any young girl they are left alone with. And that, is just sad and sick.

          3. I have known guys who thought 13 year olds were fair game. However, never in a million years would I have let them alone with my sister.

    2. I tend to fail the turing test.

      Aparently I talk in a stilted and artificial manner.

    3. Meh.

      In what can be interpreted as devious in its brilliance or exploitative in its disregard for the spirit of Turing’s originally proposed test, Eugene’s creators kind of kluged their way to victory on this one, by having it pretend to be a 13-year-old, non-native-English-speaking Ukrainian. As Eugene’s creator Vladimir Veselov put it, “our main idea was that [Eugene] can claim that he knows anything, but his age also makes it perfectly reasonable that he doesn’t know everything.” Is it fair? Technically. But it’s not the least bit impressive, in a cognitive sense.

      1. Yep – I saw some of the transcripts earlier today and the kid came off to me as either mentally-challenged or a snotty foreign-exchange student. Maybe both.

  12. # Miss Nevada Nia Sanchez won yesterday’s Miss US A pageant.

    CARAMBA!

    1. You said it. The winners of those pageants sometimes are not as hot as you would expect. This year, however, the judges seem to have gotten it right. Damn.

      1. One of the teachers at my middle school was a former Miss Florida. I didn’t get how that happened. Not only were there far better looking women in Florida, there were prettier teachers at that school.

        1. It must have been her special talent for ___________

          1. I hope she had some special talent, she certainly had a huge attitude. Personally, I was glad I wasn’t in her class.

        2. I have had the same experience. I did, however meet a Miss America or USA I can’t remember which a couple of years ago at at USO even my wife volunteered at. And she was a doll. She was stunningly beautiful and if you met her and saw her you would say “hey, that’s Miss America.” She was this perfect five foot three blond with this amazing “golly gee wow” earnestness about her. She pretty much could have taken my credit cards from me and cleaned out my bank account and I wouldn’t have cared.

          1. A very cute former Miss Teen U.S.A. owns a B&B I once stayed at. We sang BNL’s If I Had a Million Dollars” together at a karaoke night at a tavern near the B&B.
            I was on the clock. I have the best job in the world.

            1. You do, if only for that moment alone.

        3. Pageants aren’t strictly about prettiness.

  13. Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl says he was kept in a cage and tortured by the Taliban while in captivity.

    The Taliban was actually J. Walter Weatherman. “And that’s why you never walk off your post.”

    1. +1 hand clapping

    2. So is Bergdahl the new Patty Hurst?

      1. Did she develop those awesome manual shifters when in captivity ?

        1. She had a lot of time to think locked in that closet.

          1. And luckily she was too old for R. Kelly to bother her

        2. It took me a second to catch your reference to cars – you’re thinking of Patty Hertz.

    3. I thought he was killed when Michael, Gob, and Lindsay left the refrigerator door open?

  14. A man and a woman in Las Vegas shot two cops at a pizza caf? Sunday morning before shooting a third person at a Walmart. According to police, the woman then killed the man and herself.

    left out-

    The shooters then stripped the officers of their weapons and ammunition and badges, according to a law enforcement official with knowledge of the investigation. They then covered the officers with something that featured the Gadsden flag, a yellow banner with a coiled snake above the words, “Don’t tread on Me.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/e…..-more-ugly

    RW terrorists.

    1. Real World terrorists? Yeah, it wasn’t fiction.

    2. Runner’s World?

    3. Don’t lock eyes with ’em, don’t do it. Puts ’em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?” Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

    4. Witnesses told police one of the shooters yelled “This is the start of a revolution” before shooting the officers. Gillespie later said he could not confirm that.

      Now what was the Jacket doing on scene and why couldn’t he confirm or deny the start of a revolution?

      This is a weird one.

    5. You leave the Red Wings out of this.

      1. DETROIT SUCKS! DETROIT SUCKS!

        /United Center chant

  15. A child gets sick in New York, so the federal government now must ban all America from eating anything but fully sterile cheese.

    http://blog.simplejustice.us/2…..eboarding/

    1. fully sterile cheese

      Nice band name.

      1. Yes rich, yes it is.

        1. Also good band name: Ban all America

          1. We’re and American Ban, we’re an American ban,
            We come into your town, we’ll shut your party down,
            We’re an American Ban,

            /Apologies to grand funk

            1. On the other hand, Grand Funk did a version of The Locomotion, so you don’t need to apologize to them.

          2. No

            Ban Crime.

          3. I’m thinking album name with that one.

        2. That’s a… um, I dunno “meme” doesn’t sound quite right for this. Well, whatever it classifies as, I could do without it.

        3. DING DING DING DING

          SARCASM DETECTED!

          1. No. I like it. Really.

            1. Well, ? OK. Thanks, John!

              *** uninstalls Secret Service sarcasm detector ***

    2. It’s almost as though they don’t understand that cheese is the result of bacteria combined with milk curds.

      1. Almost?

    3. This is one benefit to the EU. France lobbies hard to ensure no one messes with the cheese. I get cheese from a French guy in a truck on Saturdays. It is unreal.

      1. “Psst. Eh, m’sieu…wanna buy some Fromage Blanc?”

        1. Fromage blanc is pretty easy to make yourself. I don’t think it relies on aging/bacteria much.

    1. I said that the Waukesha attacks would be just the first.

      To be fair, you said that while planning the next one.

    2. It is a curious phenomenon, except that I don’t believe the kids in these cases. I think these kids wanted to stab the person and are making up the “Slender Man” excuse after the fact as a way to get attention.

      1. Viral marketing has finally gone too far.

    3. Mr Free be a soothsayer

      1. Not unless he’s really, really let himself go.

        1. I heard the internet subtracts ten pounds.

          1. “How many internets are on me right now?”

    4. “She was someone else during that attack,” the mother added.

      Slender Man, DUH!

    5. The weird thing to me is that the slenderman thing is a few years old, which is forever-ago in internet time. Why now? There’s something else going on and I smell an excellent vehicle for a made-for-tv movie!

      1. There’s something else going on

        Media hysteria. The connections of these people to this meme is probably tenuous, at best.

      2. There is a flood of slenderman games that were released in the last couple of years on Steam and a lot of teens play them for whatever reason.

        My 14 year old is a big fan.

        1. Invest in chain mail.

          1. Would Boiled Leather Scale be a suitable substitute? Cause I already have that

      3. Wait til they watch True Detective and learn about the Yellow King.

        The hick, not the prose.

    6. We have our new knock out game crisis

    1. along with a sudden, sharp 1,902-foot plunge

      Sperm whale??

      1. That would be my first guess.

      2. Nope. A larger Great White. They can easily make that depth.

        1. 25C seems awful warm for.a fish. Would have to be something warm blooded. I guess there are some slightly warm blooded.fish but a difference of 18C is quite a bit.

          1. Sharks are semi warm-blooded. They have a set of muscles just to help their other muscles warmed up.

            1. I knew some sharks are semi-warm blooded but I didn’t think they.could support a temp.differential of as.much as.18C.

              1. What happens to an external thermometer when your blood is suddenly on the outside? Your skin temperature goes from approximately the water temperature to approximately your core temperature.

    2. The shark had been swimming at a depth of 1,900ft when there was a huge temperature change ? going from 7C to 25C in just seconds. Scientists say this could only have happened by the shark being eaten by another creature ? the latter temperature indicates that the tag was inside the stomach of another animal.

      *** rising intonation ***

      What if the tag just failed ?.

    3. I read an update to this. It was another Great White. No surprise; cannibalism isn’t that uncommon among them.

      1. MEGALODON!!!

      2. Well, that makes it worse.

        Pace out 9 feet. Look at the size of that thing. Now, how big would a shark have to be to eat, or even attack, a shark that size?

    4. MEGALADON!

      1. a solid 19 min late…I WAS ON A CALL!

  16. What did Sloopy do with all those ducks?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

    1. I don’t know. What did he do with all those dicks?

      Oh, you said ducks, not dicks.

    2. he ‘et ’em or gave to a Portagee.

  17. http://bostonherald.com/news_o….._a_new_low

    Only 44% of Massholes approve of the first black President. I always knew that place was the RACIST.

    1. Actually, Boston is probably the most racist city in America.

      1. I think so. My wife grew up in Boston and moved to Atlanta from there when we were first married. She was amazed at how much more racially tolerant and integrated Atlanta was compared to Boston.

        1. But that’s unpossible! Everyone knows the southern rednecks are the racists, not people from enlightened Massachusetts!

        2. Having lived in both Boston and Atlanta I don’t know that racism is any stronger here in Boston but it is different.

          In the south whites will work with blacks with no issues but they would never socialize with them. In Boston they will socialize with blacks who have the right educational credentials but would never give them a job or work with them.

          Basically racism in the north is far more paternalistic and fear based, in the south it is less antagonistic and mostly just a matter of culture.

          1. My wife worked in Boston and never had a black person working in the same office. Boston’s black professional class is miniscule. Atlanta in contrast has a huge black professional class. My wife’s office in Atlanta was about 1/4 black. Very rare to find an office in Boston like that.

            That seems to be the biggest difference between the two.

          2. The saying is: In the South, they don’t care how close you get as long as you don’t get too big, in the North they don’t care how big you get as long as you don’t get too close.

        3. She was amazed at how much more racially tolerant and integrated Atlanta was compared to Boston.

          I had the same experience moving from Boston to Richmond.

          1. I don’t know the south at all, but after spending many years in each I can confirm that racism is way worse in Buffalo than NYC.

  18. Trigger Warning: Troll Bait

    Voter ID Law goes off without a hitch

    And all of Bo’s complaints had an answer too:

    Contrary to the claims of those who say large numbers of Americans don’t have an ID, Mississippi estimated that only 0.8 percent of Mississippians lacked an ID. In fact, even that may have been an overestimate since the state had to issue only about 1,000 voter ID cards. All those who forgot their ID on Tuesday also could vote by an affidavit as long as they returned and showed an ID within five days.

    1. To the surprise of no one.

      1. Voter fraud is just a right wing meme.

      2. I’m shocked. It’s literally impossible for minorities to get IDs. And that’s not racist to think, either.

        1. But you still have to have one in case the police demand to see it.

        2. “I find that approximately 300,000 registered voters in Wisconsin, roughly 9% of all registered voters, lack a qualifying ID. To put this number in context, in 2010 the race for governor in Wisconsin was decided by 124,638 votes, and the race for United States Senator was decided by 105,041 votes.”

          http://media.cmgdigital.com/sh…..ruling.pdf

          1. I dont believe that number.

            There is no way that 9% of REGISTERED voters dont have an ID. The primary way that most people get registered these days is thru licensing of some sort.

            Of course, this may be carryover, because when I lived in Wisconsin, I registered and voted at the same time using my utility bill.

            1. Well, one way I can imagine this happens is, you register when you have an ID and you lose your ID and do not replace it.

              1. So once we subtract off the dumbasses….

            2. robc, I do think its plausible in WI, where you can register at the polling places on election day by showing a utility bill.

          2. “”I find that approximately 300,000 registered voters in Wisconsin, roughly 9% of all registered voters, lack a qualifying ID. To put this number in context, in 2010 the race for governor in Wisconsin was decided by 124,638 votes, and the race for United States Senator was decided by 105,041 votes.””

            So he’s saying it is a complete non issue wrt the eventual outcome of the election because those 300,000 people would all have had to vote and had their votes break 66% in favor of the candidate who was less favored by the rest of the electorate.

            That would be a massively huge shift that could only be explained if 90% or more of the 300,000 people belonged to some minority voter group and even then it would be extremely unusual since in general only ~50% of registered voters actually vote.

            Realistically for a group of 300000 voters to impact the outcome of an election the vote differential among the rest of the populace would have to be somewhere in the vicinity of 30,000 and anything over 60,000 is probably statistically impossible for them to impact the outcome.

            1. Rasilio, I suspect the main vehicle of voter fraud these days is voters who don’t actually exist IRL, but are carried on the rolls so their “votes” can be slugged into the system, mostly, I’m guessing, via bogus absentee ballots.

              1. Possibly but it seems to me that it would be rather easy for a campaign to build a database of UNLIKELY voters from the registered voter pool and then have a staffer show up and vote for them.

                That said I wasn’t actually commenting on voter fraud at all. I was commenting on either this lawyers innumerancy or his counting on the Judge not understanding statistics because the numbers he presented to bolster his case actually statistically prove that voter ID laws would have close to 0 statistical chance of impacting the outcome of an election.

                Basically in the best case scenario of a 51 – 49 split amongst the 90% of the voter pool who has ID’s the 10% without them would need to vote at a 40 – 60 rate to put the election in doubt.

                There is no statistical reason to explain why the 10% of the population who lack voter ID’s should show a 19% vote differential with the voter pool at large. 5 or 6% maybe 10% at the outside. 19% is just not statistically believable .

                That is also the BEST CASE for a voter id law to impact the outcome of a state level election more realistically you’d need to be looking at the voters without id either showing up at near 100% levels (and if they were that motivated they’d just get the damn id cards) or breaking more than 80% for one candidate.

    2. So the Mississippi government said their law worked well and did not have any bad results and you uncritically just accept it. That’s an odd libertarian stance, but hey, there’s people who might be voting Democrat involved!

      1. A: Who said I was a libertarian?

        B: All the ‘evidence’ previously presented that Voter IDs would be a problem was always in the form of outlandish hypotheticals. Now you have the chance to go out there and find thouse thousands of disenfranchised people you claim would be unable to vote because of this law. Go, go find me real people who had a problem voting.

        1. “Who said I was a libertarian?”

          Oh, certainly not me!

          “was always in the form of outlandish hypotheticals”

          No, all you have to do is read the opinion I linked to to see that’s false.

        2. http://www.pacourts.us/assets/…..?cb=a5ec29

          This is a Pennsylvania case where the court credited the findings of several experts and officials finding comparable numbers of people lacking the requisite ID.

          1. comparable numbers of people lacking id’s != voters who would be prevented from voting.

            If a voter id law were passed then it stands to reason that any motivated voters who lacked an ID would get one in plenty of time before the election. Unmotivated registered voters might not so there might be some small portion of the population who would be prevented from voting on a spur of the moment choice on election day just as voter registration laws “disenfranchises” everyone who does not register to vote. In reality however if the person didn’t care enough to make sure they had the ID in advance the odds that they would actually turn up at the polling station are small at best.

            Then there is the whole issue with “poor people” not being able to get the ID’s. That is basically just complete bullshit

    1. His crime was being a boy.

    2. I think that case is another example of how letting sex pervade everything in society has made us really sick. In the past the teacher would have never put a sexual explanation to the behavior. Now she does because the default assumption is that sex is a part of everything.

      The other day I read some magazine article about the Facebook is causing people to cheat on their spouses. I figured it would be about people hooking up or something. No, they were cheating by having “emotional affairs” whatever those are. The idea that someone could be close to someone else and set aside whatever sexual feelings they had out of morality or judgement didn’t seem to matter. Worse, since everything is about sex, apparently actual sex isn’t even required anymore. It is always about sex even if you don’t have it. Our society has gone insane.

      1. Our society has gone insane.

        This is the explanation for most things these days.

        1. We are slipping into the abyss. Every day it gets more surreal. The abyss is horrible but it is not just nothingness and pain. It is tragic and comic and chaotic.

          1. Yeah, whenever I start thinking “how could it possibly get worse?” if just gets worse.

      2. Isn’t emotional affair pretty much the same thing as having a best friend of the opposite sex?

        1. That is what I thought. Maybe I am just old fashioned or too literal minded, but I seem to recall a long tradition in art and literature of unrequited love amongst married people. It was sort of expected that married would would get close to someone of the opposite sex from time to time and maybe even develop feelings for them, but they would do the right thing and not act on them. Now, not acting on them apparently isn’t enough.

          When you add this to the myth put forth that everyone is really gay or bi, you can’t have close friendships with either sex now apparently because everyone including your spouse will assume you are having sex with them. And we wonder why everyone is so lonely and disconnected these days.

          1. I’m not lonely and disconnected. Probably because I don’t really think about stupid shit like the FB study or what society in general thinks about me.

            Ok, maybe I’m disconnected but I’m not lonely.

            1. Disconnected?

              Morning music.

            2. I am not lonely either. Perhaps a bit disconnected but not lonely. Of course, according to the people in that article, I am constantly cheating on my wife.

              We really live in fucked up times. Now I get to be considered to be unfaithful and I don’t even get any tawdry sex out of the deal.

              1. All of the guilt with none of the fun. It doesn’t help that a lot of media geared towards women tends to focus on how stupid and thoughtless men are.

                1. Seems like all the guilt is sort of a luxury good. You need to have a certain level of physical comfort to have time to go around constantly worrying about…well, everything.

                  1. I think you are dead on about that Mainer. Marriage articles are always targeted at upper middle class and wealthy people. And they are constantly defining betrayal upwards to give people something to feel guilty about.

                    For example, there are tons of men and women who write those articles that consider looking at porn to be cheating. WTF? If looking at porn is cheating then I guess noticing some cute college girl in a tight skirt is cheating.

                    Some of it is the desire for guilt. And some of it is the desire to completely control every aspect of male sexuality. Men are apparently supposed to never have a stray sexual thought unless it approved by their designated female guardian.

                    1. “I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times.”

                    2. Haven’t we all Ivan? That is kind of the human condition. That is why we judge people by their actions, not their thoughts, or at least we used to do that.

                    3. Purely on a personal note, but I am the luckiest guy, and I’ll give you an example. We were on our boat and some young girl in a thong bikini was on shore, calling out to passing boats and wiggling her bare ass for all to see. I was a little embarassed,but my wife said, Look ! She’s giving a free show, you might as well get a good look.

                      How cool is that ?

                    4. It is very cool. And my wife is good about that as well. I have often told her that the day I stop noticing women is the day I have lost the will to live and need to be sent to the home. I couldn’t have married a possessive uptight woman.

                    5. Rotfl, I have the opposite problem.

                      My wife gets pissed if I notice another woman. I mean like seriously pissed in only the way that a redhead can get.

                      So I spent the last several years training myself to not notice them. Side effect I have just about completely eliminated my sex drive and now she’s pissed that we never have sex anymore.

                      Moral of the story: Women should be careful what they ask for, they just might get it

                    6. I think it’s unnatural for a straight man not to notice hot women. I would start to wonder…

                    7. I am not jealous at all!

                      *snaps pen in half with clenched fist*

                    8. How is the car coming Mainer?

                    9. And some of it is the desire to completely control every aspect of male sexuality.

                      I’d argue most of it is the desire to control male sexuality. A woman reading 50 Shades of Grey on the subway, no one would bat an eye. If a man were to look at a porn magazine on the subway, he’d be in jail inside of an hour.

                    10. I think its just a normal double standard in some ways.

                      No one thinks its a big deal if a woman owns a vibrator. But a guy who owns a fleshlight is weird and creepy.

                    11. It’s actually the normal double standard that’s existed for most of history applying to women, just reversed. Doesn’t make it right, of course.

                    12. It’s actually the normal double standard that’s existed for most of history applying to women, just reversed. Doesn’t make it right, of course.

                    13. It’s actually the normal double standard that’s existed for most of history applying to women, just reversed. Doesn’t make it right, of course.

                      True. I am not sure trying to turn male sexuality into a pathology is going to work out very well for men or women either one.

                    14. To be fair, the looking=cheating thing dates back to the beginnings of Christianity. It’s not a recent “pathology”.

                    15. Yes and no Iap83. Yes, according to the Sermon on the Mount looking is the same thing as adultery. But even the most Christian societies have generally taken a less hard nosed view than God apparently does. Lots of people were hanged for adultery in Christian societies but no one was ever hanged for an “emotional affair” as far as I know.

                      Indeed, the whole thing with getting women to dress modesty was to reduce the temptation of men to think about sex. It wasn’t to get them to not interact with women at all. That seems to be what all of this “emotional cheating” shit is about.

                    16. OK yeah I do agree that the emotional affair thing is bullshit. While it’s not beneficial or nice to your spouse to give the impression you might be cheating, that doesn’t mean it’s at the level of an affair.

                    17. But a guy who owns a fleshlight is weird and creepy.

                      I only think they’re weird and creepy because the guy who invented them is a douchebag former cop who got a hardon from beating the shit out of people.

                    18. And some of it is the desire to completely control every aspect of male sexuality.

                      Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

    3. This is why government schools need more money.

    4. Looking back, the most charitable interpretation I can put on the whole experience is that maybe when large bureaucracies start moving in one direction, they reach a point when they can no longer resist their own momentum.

      “Too big to fail!” 8-(

      1. That is exactly what happens. Bureaucracies are run by rules. The bigger they get, the more rules they have. The more rules they have, the more monstrous the results.

    5. His teacher, on the other hand, was quite certain that our son didn’t have school anxiety. After all, she explained, she never saw him cry. How could he be anxious?

      Apparently I haven’t been anxious for a decade.

      1. “You lie!”

      2. You haven’t cried in a decade? In all seriousness, that’s amazing.

        1. That doesn’t seem that unusual to me. The last time it happened was in high school. The only things I can even think of that I might have cried about since were a couple of breakups, but I just got drunk instead.

          1. but I just got drunk instead

            So you just don’t remember the tears.

        2. Huh?

          I haven’t shed a tear in….uh…probably 30 years.

      3. I used to barf every day before school from anxiety, yet I never cried. Guess it wasn’t really anxiety. Probably bulimia. I should have been locked up.

        1. Of course it was bulimia. Boys are sex predators and all girls have eating disorders.

    6. Well, at least the outcome was good.

      It’s unbelievably evil how people in positions of authority and influence are willing to KNOWINGLY destroy the lives of people.

    7. This is why we can’t have nice things. People like this that get smacked in the face with the truth but refuse to see it.

      The guy talks about how badly his son was mistreated by a mindless bureaucracy – no, this had nothing to do with your son and the bureaucracy is not mindless. You dared question their authoritah, they’re gonna show you who’s boss. This wasn’t some series of bizarre fuck-ups, this was a carefully calculated screwing.

  19. Am I the only one who initially read the alt-text as two titties to go?

    1. …maybe

    2. I suspect not.

      *looks around with an innocent gaze*

  20. What did he do with all those dicks?

    He still talks to us.

  21. English council gets freedom of information requests for

    * how many times cash swapped hands for exorcisms at the local authority; and
    * the defences it has in place to deal with a dragon attack.

    1. Maybe dragons can replace zombies. I am tired of zombies.

      1. Low on ammo?

        1. Low on ammo?

          Perish the thought.

      2. The dragons are never coming. The zombies, otoh, are at the wall!

        1. Why do the hard work yourself when you can let the mindless minions handle it? The dragons are waiting for their zombie hordes to wipe out the pesky human resistance.

  22. Speaking of Turing Tests…watch as the automaton Nancy Pelosi fails to convince a teenager she is human

    Teen Confronts @NancyPelosi on #NSA

    Bonus ‘But Booosssh’ points included.

    1. No.
      Will. Not. Click.
      I won’t spoil this beautiful morning with the ghastly face of that creature.

    2. She is incapable of speaking a simple declarative sentence.

      1. Was watching a show about lying, and one clear indicator is a failure to complete a sentence.

      2. This.

        What. An. Idiot.

  23. Uggh, I no longer have the office to myself, the paralegal is back. She was late though. I don’t understand how someone can think it’s ok to show up late for work after you just had a week off? And no, the slow drive-thru person at McDonald’s is not an excuse.

    1. Why so uptight, Gramps?

      1. I was really enjoying having the place to myself and the paralegal just irritates me in general.

        1. So, she’s ugly?

          1. Or worse, she’s good looking and knows it.

            1. I wish, Rich got it.

        2. So shouldn’t you be happy that she wasn’t there for a bit?

        3. Now you’ll have to wait until you get home to masturbate, like the rest of us proles.

    2. There’s a new guy in the place where I’m subleasing from, and he’s late. Not that anyone would know, because they’re all here at 9:30 or after. But still. Second week on the job, and you’re late? How did his enthusiasm get sucked away so fast?

      1. Yeah, this girl has zero enthusiasm. There isn’t really anything I can do about it though since she’s best friends with the boss. They have been friends since middle school or something so the boss overlooks a lot.

        1. The boss is setting himself up for a problem if he ever fires anyone else for not being at work on time.

  24. Chinese students even beat us when it comes to cheating:

    This past weekend, literally this last Saturday and Sunday, millions of Chinese high school students sat through a test that will determine the rest of the their lives. Some will do well, some will fail but none have failed as miserably as the ones who were caught cheating!P

    While the millions prepare for and take the test in legitimate means, there are those that choose to cheat. China hasn’t released the number of cheaters caught this year, but the folks over at China News and China Radio International have released a series of photos of some of the best cheating equipment found.

    I think they deserve points for effort and creativity.

  25. What does everyone here think about personality types, I guess specifically Myers-Briggs? Truth or bullshit?

    1. I took the Myers Briggs for job reasons about 15 years ago. Then two more times in law school. My type was different each time. I think it stinks, about as valid as astronomy.

      1. And it’s much worse than *astrology*.

      2. You mean astrology?

      3. Nothing is worse than astronomy. The Earth is the center of the universe dammit!

      4. Nothing is worse than astronomy. The Earth is the center of the universe dammit!

      5. Nothing is worse than astronomy. The Earth is the center of the universe dammit!

        1. No, you’re wrong. The earth revolves around the squirrels.

        2. You are all worse than astronomy, or astrology, dammit! Way to crucify me for a mis-typed word.

      6. Me too – always slightly introverted – everything else was all over the place.

      7. Astronomy, the Career of Evil.

    2. Take the test, and decide for yourself.

      1. I have, and it seems pretty accurate, but part of me still thinks it could be like astrology.

        1. You have to decide what “accurate” means in this context. I knew a palm-reader who was amazingly accurate. Of course, cynical Rich thinks maybe she was “just” amazingly clever.

        2. God, you’re such a typical Virgo Leo Gemini Taurus Capricorn oh whatever!

    3. Bullshit.

    4. I think Myers Briggs is pretty accurate. I think people, however, read too much into them. They measure your nature or basically your default position. Those are the characteristic you just naturally have without any effort. Having those characteristics doesn’t mean you can’t function in other ways. It just means doing that takes a bit of work.

      For example, just because Myers Briggs says you are not a detail oriented person doesn’t mean you can’t be such if you need to be and put forth the effort. You just probably are not going enjoy doing it.

      1. Mine consistently comes up as INTJ. Great, I could have told you that beforehand. And basically all that says is I’m a typically engineer.

        1. So it means you chose the right field. Could you be a public relations guy? Sure. It just wouldn’t suit your personality very well and you would have to constantly make the effort to be different than you naturally are.

        2. That’s what I get too, which concerns me because I absolutely hate being a CPA (accountant, not asskicker).

          The type is basically a complete mismatch for my career, in other words, I fucked up. Of course, am I reading too much into “my type” or is it just as simple as accounting is boring and a lot of people would find it dull and unsatisfying?

        3. I think it’s basically accurate, but that it doesn’t really tell you a great deal. Also, I suspect INTJ is pretty common for H&R denizens.

          1. Or INTP, which reflects the “let your freak flag fly” tendency of some of us

            1. A lot of NTs. NTs are thinkers and see abstractions well. I bet 90% of the people on this board are some variation of NT.

            2. As an INTP (who occasionally also tests as ENTP and rarely as INTJ) I can say

              INTP = I’m Not Technically Perfect (but I’m pretty damn close)

          2. ENTJ as well. Guys like Penn Jillette I would assume.

            1. I am an ENTJ. My wife says that is Myers Briggs for “opinionated asshole”.

              1. +concurrence

              2. My wife says that is Myers Briggs for “opinionated asshole”.

                No wai!!! 😉

                1. It is just shocking Kristen that anyone, let alone my wife, would think that about me. I just don’t know where she would get such an idea.

                  😉

              3. My wife says that is Myers Briggs for “opinionated asshole”.

                INTP, but that just means I don’t share my asshole opinions with everyone. It doesn’t protect her.

        4. INTP. Those “j” personalities are just so difficult to get along with 😉

    5. My boss loves them, so I asked this question of a friend of mine with a degree in Psychology. He said it’s about as much use as sitting around comparing star signs. My experience is that however valid it is, it’s really annoying when people reduce you to a four-letter code and then act accordingly, which has happened to me

      1. I agree. I don’t think they are meaningless. But I don’t think you can run a business based on them either.

        I do think that they do have some good unintended consequences. Namely they get people to try and be more empathetic and understand their employees’ strengths and perspectives rather than just constantly pounding them.

        1. Blackadder : Tell me do you ever stop bullying and shouting at the lower orders?
          Wellington : NEVER! There’s only one way to win a campaign shout, shout and shout again.
          Blackadder : You don’t think that inspired leadership and tactical ability have anything to do with it?
          Wellington : NO! It’s all down to shouting. WAAGGHH!

      2. At least Myers Briggs isn’t based on some imaginary relationship with star formations that don’t exist.

    6. In my experience, they are reasonably decent at telling you what you already know…(e.g., analytical vs. emotional). Like horoscopes, however, they also can be used to provide lazy people with an easy label about themselves and others.

      1. *maybe lazy isn’t the best word.

    7. All of the evidence of which I’m aware says bullshit. It’s vague, unreliable, and subject to the Forer effect.

      1. The Myers-Briggs Prayer for INTJ (my type) is “Lord grant me the strenght to listen to other people’s opinions, wrong though they may be.”

        That seems pretty accurate, actually.

        1. INTP: Lord help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.

          1. my wife:

            ISFJ: Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it EXACTLY right.

    8. Way too many girls put them in their online profiles.

      1. What sort of online profiles? Dating? Professional? Instagram?

        1. Dating.

          1. Oh. Why does that sound weird to me? Well, at least it probably saves you the bother of getting to know someone if they can be summed up in four letters

            1. Oh. Why does that sound weird to me?

              Because it is?

              1. Huh, I dunno, it seems semi-useful. I wouldn’t want to bother dating an E, probably. Or an F.

                1. I think Ds might be aiming a bit too high.

                2. Sometimes opposites attracts. But you should avoid Js at all costs 😉

                  1. Well, I am a J, so duh.

                    I wasn’t trying to suggest that opposites don’t work, or that everyone should date their clone, but for me personally it probably wouldn’t work out with someone really extroverted.

                    1. I’ve found that I work better with someone is somewhat extroverted, at least in comparison to me. But there’s a limit to that, of course.

                    2. My wife of 38 years, is a J

                    3. I’m an introvert who married an extrovert and it works for me because I find his “open book” nature refreshing. Also, we’re enough alike that we still understand each other. (both NTs)

                    4. That was for Nikki, btw.

                      I think, when deciding on a mate, regardless of how you think about personality, Myers Briggs or whatever… you have to decide in terms of what flaws annoy you the least. Every characteristic has an annoying side.

                3. In terms of romantic compatiblity, the biggest issue is J’s should not date other J’s and P’s should not date other P’s.

                  Beyond that, E/I doesn’t seem to matter and for the other two letters, the more in common the better.

                  So for, example, and INTJ would do best with an ENTP or and INTP.

            2. My wife and I talked about it because she had to do a bunch of that shit as a college advisor. Mostly as a time-filler as best I can tell. We are opposite on every category. Which makes us perfect!

              1. My mom and dad are opposites in personality too. If my siblings and I are any indication, your kids won’t be normal. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

                1. your kids won’t be normal

                  Don’t tell my wife, but I am actively working towards that end.

      2. Apparently, 2/3 of women are feelers while 2/3 of men are thinkers.

        WAR ON WOMENZ? Or science?

        1. Apparently, 2/3 of women are feelers while 2/3 of men are thinkers.

          Wow that is totally shocking information right there.

          1. Feminists of course would blame socialization and culture.

    9. The Japanese are convinced that personality is tied to bloodtype.

      Go on, laugh. That’s what A+’s always do when confronted with the truth.

      1. HAHAHAHA! ….wait a minute, I am APos…

        Aieee!!!!

        1. wait a minute, I am APos…

          Don’t be so hard on yourself

          1. *thinks about it for a moment, then breaks into slow clapping*

    10. Slightly better than a horoscope.

      INTPs unite!

      INTJs will be first against the wall.

      1. Started my first sour ale last weekend. It’s fermenting in a basement bathroom with the door closed and far away from my normal brewing room. The primary is sitting in the shower stall. I can spray the whole thing down with sulfite solution if I need to. Should be reasonably safe 😉

        1. Yeah, that was why I never did a sour, I didnt want to have dedicated equipment/space.

          1. I was going to brew in my garage. Even bought a heating pad to control temperature. Then I got busy and wasted a month. So now it is summer so brewing has to be in the house.

    11. I like Myers Briggs. I’m an INTP or INTJ or something, which is a rare type for a woman and it has helped me understand why I don’t get along with most of them.

      It’s a useful tool for understanding yourself and others. But not the be-all and end-all.

      1. Remarkable that the commentariat here seems to be either INTP or INTJ, neither of which are super common.

        INTP here. Seems a pretty decent description, really.

        1. The description of INTP totally sounds libertarian. It’s pretty much “Wants to be left alone and detached until someone violates it’s principles (then proceeds to make sarcastic comments to trolls online)”

        2. INTJ, but to be fair, 3 of the scores weren’t too far from the middle.

        3. INTP here as well. My wife says the characterization is uncannily accurate.

    12. It’s BS. Even if it’s not BS, the end result doesn’t measure degree. So if you get a 49 you’re and introvert and a 51 your an extrovert? Okay….

  26. Ed needs way more kudos for perpetuating the “punchable face” meme. I, for one, applaud you, sir.

    Pentagon cops got all up in my shizz this morning because I was standing in the center island of the bus terminal, trying to flag down the shuttle. When I said “I’m just trying to flag down the Route 2 bus” (the Route 2 was no more than 50 yards away, coming toward us), he looked at me like I’d just told him I was the real-life tooth fairy.

    They must have no worries about terrarists at the Pentagon anymore.

    1. Their latest chicanery: inspecting bags LEAVING the pentagon. For bombs/guns/drugs? No, but if you bring your govt laptop home–ya know, since it’s a laptop signed out to you meant for travel, etc–without a receipt, signed by yourself, giving yourself permission to take it home, they hassle you.
      Yeah, there are no terrorists anymore and the Pentagon Force Protection Agency is apparently the Theft Protection Agency now.


  27. Hillary Clinton: We Were Dead Broke

    ‘We Gave Speeches to Pay Off Debt, Numerous Homes’

    Also, Iowahawk on twitter: Hillary: $5 million in “speaking fees” since March, because I guess corporations want hear good word talker lady

    1. Bill made millions in speaking fees when he left the Presidency. They also get a fat pension from that.

      Just how the hell did they manage to go broke?

      1. “…but I’ll do a dandy job managing the nation’s finances.”

    2. According to Clinton, she and her husband, who has made over $100 million since leaving the White House, “struggled to, you know, piece together the resources for mortgages for houses, for Chelsea’s education, you know, it was not easy.”

      I thought that’s what public schools are supposed to be for?

      1. mortgages for houses

        Both of those words are plural. Perhaps they only need, you know, one house, like most of the rest of us?

        1. Have you *seen* how much they charge for arugula these days, Kristen?

          1. It’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?

            1. there is always money in the banana stand.

        2. Perhaps they only need, you know, one house, like most of the rest of us?

          I don’t even have that many.

      2. I didnt know Hillary was in the NBA.

    3. If you are broke with that kind of income you have a spending problem, not an earning problem. Gee, that sounds familiar.

        1. Or Tony.

  28. That’s a travesty, and the SC is to blame. A police dog can alert for any number of reasons, most of which have zero to do with actual drugs being there.

    I was just wishing yesterday (for no good reason) for some of this bullshit to strike some Supreme Court justice in a personal way. Do Clarence Thomas or Scalia have kids? They must have nieces or nephews, or, even better, clerks. It’s terribly, terribly wrong, but I would be curious to see how those clowns would respond if someone near and dear to them were subjected to a “routine” roadside Papieren, bitte stop and be forced to prove to the satisfaction of some jack-booted ignoramus that they weren’t guilty of anything.

    Of course anyone with close ties to the Top Men is well schooled in the protocols of “Don’t you know who I am?”

    1. “Don’t you know who I am?”

      The peasant. Papers, please.

      1. In my experience, they don’t bother with the ‘please’ part anymore.

        Such pleasantries went out of fashion in the 90s.

  29. I get cheese from a French guy in a truck on Saturdays. It is unreal.

    is that what the kids are calling it, these days?

  30. You’d think I would be used to people bailing at the last minute after doing online dating, but I’m still pretty annoyed at my friend for sending me a text at 4:30 AM to tell me he wasn’t going to do the hike we planned to leave for at 6:30 AM.

    1. So cracked open a beer in the knowledge that you had given it your best shot.

      1. I still went, but I had to modify the route so I got back to my car at the end (instead of shuttling between the two cars). It cut down the hike from 24 miles to 19.

    2. Don’t go hiking alone.

      1. I always take my buddies Smith & Wesson with me.

        1. STEVE SMITH laughs at anything less powerful than a .45-70.

      2. I’m going to be doing the Long Trail at the end of the summer, and alone for about 2 weeks of it. You’ve got to let people know your itinerary, but if you’re on a well traveled path like the AT or LT going alone isn’t something you need to avoid.

        1. You’ll leave a 410 and come back a 12 gauge.

      3. I was going to do some very cursory solo hiking in Glacier N.P. last week, but a guide dissuaded me with tales of bears.

        1. Sadly there were no bears, so I didn’t get to try out the Warty technique.

          1. Making sweet and tender love to a bear?

            1. *Raping* it. Keep up man.

    3. I learned there is a correlation between the earliness of a planned activity and the odds of it being cancelled. I am always pleasantly surprised when early morning plans actually happen.

      1. Well, it was supposed to be the entire weekend. I’m more upset that canceled 2 hours prior than that he canceled. I had to scramble to come up with an alternative I could do with only one car and I ended up with way more food in my bag than necessary.

        1. way more food in my bag than necessary.

          Does not compute.

  31. Judge acquits a woman who killed her husband in self defense.

    Even the police did not want to charge her. Actually, the detective sided with her! It was the DA (acronym in this, and many cases, stands for both District Attorney and Dumb Ass). This guy appears to be a real POS. I mean the daughter even witnessed her mother being beaten and choked out by her husband, and she stabs him in the leg… PROSECUTE!

    A spokesman for Cannizzaro’s office said it was “disappointed but, unfortunately, not surprised” by the verdict. “When violent crime goes unpunished, the entire community, more than any single person, is the victim. … The entire city should be aggrieved by the outcome.”

    Fuck that guy right in the ear.

    1. “When violent crime goes unpunished…”

      The violent crime did *not* go unpunished, dickweed.

      1. IN fairness, they did fail to punish that guy for terrorizing his wife and kids all of those years. So there is that.

  32. “When violent crime goes unpunished, the entire community, more than any single person, is the victim. … The entire city should be aggrieved by the outcome.”

    Fucking causation- how does it work?

  33. So, Uber says it’s going to ignore the cease & desist in Virginia. I sure hope so because I have no other plans for a ride home form the dentist next month, and I sure as shit am not giving my money to the taxi cartel!

    1. This is going to be fun. Uber is totally a hipster elite thing. Watching the NOVA hipster elite slug it out with the Terry McAuliffe corruption machine looking to protect their cronies in the cab industry is going to delicious.

      1. The Dems going apeshit over the GOP buying out that Dem state senator with a judgeship for his daughter and a sinecure for him is very very funny.

        1. McAuliffe is the gift that will keep on giving. I can’t believe the Dems were so stupid and arrogant they nominated him. Who cares if he won? Winning with a guy who is going to be horrible and damage the party is worse than losing. McAuliffe is going to set the Virginia Democratic Party back ten years.

      2. Uber is cheaper than a taxi in a lot of circumstances. It’s better than a taxi for people like me who will be high on dental drugs because there’s no cash or credit cards exchanged with the driver.

        1. I am totally on the hipsters’ side in this one. Uber is great and the cab monopoly horrible. It is just going to be funny watching various NOVA hip liberals find out government regulation isn’t so cool when it applies to something they like.

    2. I suspect I’m going to be using Uber more and more. My sister’s friend just moved in to our third bedroom and he’s in love with it.

  34. But those guys from Uber and such don’t have insurance, or drivers’ licenses, or anything. And the cars are literally death traps. I know, because some guy said so on the Bloomberg News.

    1. And they run into things, as we know ’cause one of ’em did last year some time.

    2. And we all know that the State is the only authority we can and should trust on the safety and reliability of car services. All those 100s of Uber driver user reviews are meaningless.

      1. As crazy as it sounds, I am actually tempted to go be an uber driver some night for kicks. You could provide people a service they need, make a few bucks and maybe have some nice conversation. I have spent worse evenings.

        1. I used to deliver food in law school. It would have been nice to also deliver a few people.

          1. And the fact that doing it is “illegal” and sticking it to some government crony monopoly makes it double appealing. It is not only an evening well spent, it is really an act of civil disobedience.

      2. Are those reviewers *licensed*? By the government? I think not. Game. Set. Match.

    3. Dolphin rape is real…and it happens in Uber cars

  35. I doubt this ‘industry’ would even exist if it weren’t for taxpayer money:

    “Tariffs could dim solar energy’s rapid growth”

    The US is gonna charge the Chinese makers of solar panels at the behest of a German firm and I assume to protect its misbegotten ‘investments’ in the remaining Solyndras.
    http://www.sfgate.com/business…..538030.php

    1. No it wouldn’t. If it were efficient, it wouldn’t need any subsidies.

  36. Ugh. Xkcd today is nothing but a climate change PSA. There’s not a joke in it at all.

    1. The stuff he drew in high school and his first years in college is his best work. It’s been a long decline afterwards.

    2. Nobody has ever adequately explained to me why climate change is a bad thing. It seems to me that if you are Canadian or Russian a few degrees of warming would be extremely desirable. Surely there are winners and losers in this.

      1. It’s because human beings are incapable of adapting to new things. We live in stasis. Without government spurring us along, we never change, innovate, or do anything on our own. So climate change will overwhelm people unless government causes them to act. Or something.

      2. Because people in New York City might have to move, or borrow some Dutch technology.

        1. Here is NY adapting to sea level rise since the 1600s:

          http://www.mitosyfraudes.org/i…..mation.gif

    3. It’s rather disappointing, as.it.is presented as solid fact, with discussion of the.uncertainty in the.models. it is the worst sort of.dumbing down. Take a huge scientific report, which has.its.own problems.with fact and.opinions., and.reduce.it to a one.panel.comic. yay, that’s some.solid.public service there, dude.

      1. Take a huge scientific report

        I would not call the IPCC scientific.

        Political is more like it.

    4. He does that a lot.

    5. The author, despite his sciency background, has been a climate alarmist for years now, science is settled, etc.

    1. That is cool. And straight from the gubmint horse’s mouth.

    2. How do we TVs go down by over 100%? Stores are paying you to take them now?

      1. EDIT BUTTON: It’s “relative to the 23% increase for all prices”, so I guess that means -100% would mean it stayed constant.

    3. subsidized … and regulated. The DOT regulation (that all the manufacturers signed on to) locks out most all third party vendors, which means I couldn’t* get headlight lenses for my wife’s car for less than $900 EACH. So the one item in the chart above the line that isn’t subsidized is a blatant government-regulated monopoly.

      [*Actually, since two more manufacturers have jumped the DOT hurdles to get authorized, headlights are down to $550/pair. But the maddening part is … it doesn’t include bulbs, or the little motor that levels them. DOT regulations enforce a monopoly of the friggin clear plastic lens!!!]


  37. I am going to put this here
    , but before you click on the link, I would like to say goodbye to those of you are about to read it and then go blow your brains out upon deciding you no longer want to live in a world this stupid.

    1. I will give him credit, he is at least honest and admits that “reasonable restrictions” and “permits” are not what these assholes want.

    2. It just goes to show you what not banning alcohol costs in human lives.
      If the cop killer had been high on pot instead, maybe the cop would still be alive.

    3. So, no-one stops to ask how banning guns would have stopped dipshit from getting the gun he used to shoot the cop.

      *Nor* do they see this as a reason to question the usefulness of the permitting system (except to use its failure as justification for more restrictions on gun ownership).

      And FINALLY. No-one see how a law-abiding gun owner *stopped* a criminal with his weapon. Yeah, the guy who shot the cop – he wasn’t a ‘good guy’. Just having a gun permit doesn’t mean you’re ‘good’, it only means that you haven’t been caught doing something that would lose you permission to carry.

      1. That was my problem – the guy is demolishing the ‘good guy with a gun’ argument with the argument that here was a good guy with a gun who shot a cop.

        That only works if you interpret ‘good guy with a gun’ as ‘the guy is good because he has a gun’ rather than ‘a good guy. With a gun.’ You can be a good guy with or without a gun. Drunkenly shooting cops in the back is not necessarily evidence of being a good person. (Although, to be fair, I’m not going to put up much of an argument that drunkenly shooting cops in the back is necessarily evidence of being a bad person, either. Omelette, eggs.)

        In order to believe this guys interpretation of what he thinks the NRA thinks, you would have to believe that the NRA advocates having cops conduct random searches of people and anyone found to be not carrying a gun should be arrested. If having a gun is what makes you a good person, than logically not having a gun makes you a bad person. I don’t believe for a second that that’s the NRA’s position.

  38. Any of you freaks coming to C’Bus this month for the Libertarian National Convention?

    1. Already there.

      1. Good thinkin’. You can avoid the lines.

        1. I’m sure it will be packed full of women

    2. I just left. I have to go back?

  39. Speaking of hipster, I’m starting to get hungry and my favorite food trucks haven’t tweeted their locations yet. First world problems…

    1. Try and have a conversation with the person in front of you in line about the upcoming World Cup. That way you can have the complete hipster experience today.

      1. Nothing hipster about the world cup.

        Now, if you are American and the only sport you follow is international soccer, you might be a hipster.

        1. Yes, in the rest of the world the World Cup is about working class nationalism, racism and fascism put to sport. In America, it is mostly a way for hipsters to like a sport while still maintaining their sense of smug superiority.

          1. Some of us follow just about every sport though. So talking about the World Cup is no different than talking about the US Open.

            1. Yes. I am that way. For me Soccer is like an Olympic sport. Every four years I have a reason to care and follow it a bit, just like I will pay attention to speed skating or track and field every four years.

          2. I’m just interested in seeing if the refs are really brave enough to call diving penalties on Brazil, because you know they dive like a salvage operation.

      2. You have to turn your nose up at soccer and say you prefer jai alai* because it is less.commercial for the total hipster experience.

        *interesting note: my Android spell check autocorrects “jai alai” to “Nazi Dalai.”

        1. Buy jai alai was introduced to the Unisted States as a purely commercial venture.

          1. Yeah, well often hipsters have a side.of.unintentional irony to go along with.the intended variety.

        2. ‘Hey, should I have a helmet for this?’

          ‘Probably’

          ‘What?’

          *WACK*

        3. Nazi Dalai?

          So, like some kind of Buddhist national socialist leader?

          I’m afraid to Google. OK, I’m not. 638,000 references. Including the ChiComs accusing the Dalai Lama of being a Nazi.

          Which pretty much broke both the irony meter and the projection meter on my computer.

          1. Just what I would expect. After all the Buddhists use the swastika as a religious symbol, and the Dalai lama is a socialist.

    2. …”I’m starting to get hungry and my favorite food trucks haven’t tweeted their locations yet.”…

      There ought to be a law!

    3. Well, no Ethiopian food for me today. They’re only a mile away, but there’s no bus that will take me near there and get me back. And it’s dog’s breath outside, so I’m not really in favor of walking.

      1. I’m trying to decide what to go eat. On vacation this week so plenty of time. Thinking BBQ.

      2. If only somebody would invent other means of personal transportation.

        1. Like a rickshaw?

      3. Bus. Bus bus bus.

        I sorta remember those as things I used to get around on, you know, *before* I got a car.

        1. I haz a car, but it’s sitting in my home parking lot, because no one in their right mind would drive into downtown DC on a weekday morning if they have easy access to a perfectly good Metro station. Not to mention the train is 1/2 the cost of driving.

          1. Not to mention the train is 1/2 the cost of driving.

            SUBSIDUZ!

  40. They’re only a mile away, but there’s no bus that will take me near there and get me back.

    Don’t you have a suitcase moped? What kind of low rent hipster are you?

    1. I know – I fail at hipsterism. My bike also has gears. Ten of ’em.

      1. I bet if you count carefully, you will discover that your bike only has 7 gears. I know, market failure, amirite?

        1. Mine has 10. 21 possible combinations.

  41. Punchable faces are a product of evolution, according to researchers at the University of Utah, who suggest the human face evolved to minimize damage from violence.

    Sadly we did not evolve any protection from being stabbed by spears.

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