Schools

Little Girl Gets Burned by School's Absolutist Sunscreen Ban

"Sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can't allow toxic things in to be in our schools."

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It burns

Schools go to extreme efforts to keep drugs and weapons out of classrooms, but are they doing enough to guard against the scourge of deadly skin-protective lotion? With summer just around the corner, it's worth celebrating a San Antonio, Texas, school district that takes its duty seriously and ensures that nothing comes between its students and the sun.

From KSAT.com:

Sunscreen is one of the best protectors from the sun, but North East Independent School District parent Christy Riggs said her child wasn't allowed to bring sunscreen to campus and suffered the burning consequences. 

Riggs said her 10-year-old daughter went on a school field trip recently and came back sun-burned. Riggs said district policy didn't allow her daughter to bring sunscreen to reapply.

"When you have a school field trip or a field day (in) which they're out there for an extended period of time, they should be allowed to carry sunscreen and reapply," said Riggs.

Riggs told reporters that skin cancer runs in her family, and her father recently passed away from it. The district, however, considers sunscreen to be a drug, and won't let anyone bring it to school without a doctor's note.

"Typically, sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can't allow toxic things in to be in our schools," said Aubrey Chancellor, a spokeswoman for the North East Independent School District.

Can't allow it. And won't.

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  1. Typically, sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can’t allow toxic things in to be in our schools

    Chemistry lab? Janitor’s closet? Photo darkroom (in the past)? The fluid for the ditto and mimeograph machines?

    I call bullshit. Someone’s CONTROL boner is on display.

    1. Is ditto the one that came out purple and a mess?

        1. Smells like woozy!

      1. Ditto was available in several colors, but purple was the most common.

        Mimeograph was the one that came out in black. Mimeo was more of a PITA, but yielded better-looking results and the master could be used for a larger number of copies than ditto.

    2. This was my thought.

      There are a ton of toxic substances in every school.

      1. For example, Ethan Fromm.

    3. What in the world were they worried about, that the kids were going to eat it?

      1. Yes.

        FTA:

        “We have to look at the safety of all of our students and we can’t allow children to share sunscreen,” she said.

        “They could possibly have an allergic reaction (or) they could ingest it. It’s really a dangerous situation.”

        When I was 10 it was all my parents could do to keep me from guzzling Coppertone.

        1. They could possibly have an allergic reaction

          There it is, the reason to ban everything.

          1. If she had applied it already without having an allergic reaction, odds are SHE ISN’T ALLERGIC TO IT!!!!!!!11111!!!

            1. If she had applied it already without having an allergic reaction, odds are SHE ISN’T ALLERGIC TO IT!!!!!!!11111!!!

              The second part

              and we can’t allow children to share sunscreen,” she said.

              So see, she could share, or rub up against another kid, and the kid would die, just like with peanuts. Tarran, why do you hate kids??

              1. why do you hate kids?

                You really need to ask that question?

                1. You really need to ask that question?

                  Not really. But I thought it best to make sure the /sarc came through.

            2. But she could have shared it with other students! The horror!!!!!!!!

        2. When I was 10 it was all my parents could do to keep me from guzzling Coppertone.

          Have you ever tried it with coconut rum….fabulous!!

            1. Do you like CopperColadas, and getting caught in the rain?

          1. When some friends and I were drunk at a bar in college we had the bartender mix up a drink that we called a Coppertone, because it tasted like what we imagined Coppertone tastes like.

            I don’t remember everything that was in it, but it had plenty of coconut rum, pineapple juice, and I think a splash of milk. It got the job done.

        3. BTW, the last sentence of my above post is complete sarcasm, so anyone from the secret service can calibrate their sarcasm detectors.

        4. In Texas? I assume (hope!) that wearing sunscreen is a common thing in Texas, particularly the summer. What 10 year old, if not 5 year old, wouldn’t know how to apply it and to avoid eating the nasty stuff?

        5. To be fair, Reason is the one that called a 10-year-old a little girl. So, yeah, I would expect little kids to randomly eat things they shouldn’t.

    4. Sunscreen is a toxic drug?

      These people are totally and completely unhinged. Forget being in charge of children, they should have guardians, rooms that lock from the outside, and probably a nice course of calming drugs themselves.

      1. That was my thought. People this insane over sunscreen shouldn’t be within 5,000 feet of children.

      2. According to federal & state pharmacy laws, it is a drug.

  2. “Typically, sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can’t allow toxic things in to be in our schools,” said Aubrey Chancellor, a spokeswoman for the North East Independent School District.

    Guess what, there are a ton of toxic substances in the iPads that you give out to each student and in each student’s cell phone. There are also toxic substances in the cleaners that the janitors and cafeterias use. God forbid some kid tries to lick the cleaner off the toilet and dies!!!1!

    1. Pwned, above, but I forgot about the cafeteria. Good call.

  3. You know what else is toxic? Stupidity. What are you doing to eliminate that from your schools Ms. Chancellor?

    1. You’re going to feel really bad when she reads this and hangs herself in the janitor’s closet.

      1. No, I’m going to be glad there’s one less control freak idiot near children who is now contributing to the environment as fertilizer. Fuck her.

      2. Feel bad? Hell, I’d go out and buy a sixpack of Lone Star to celebrate.

  4. we can’t allow toxic things in to be in our schools

    Are you seriously going to try and argue there isn’t anything anywhere in your schools that’s not poisonous?

    1. I wish Ms. Chancellor had to answer the question of whether she’d bet her job on that.

    2. I think you added one too many negatives.

  5. Honestly, I hope the parents sue. If I were on a jury, I’d find that little Christy needs to be reimbursed for the cost of seeing a top-flight dermatologist weekly for a year.

    1. And you need to sue the SPECIFIC people responsible for these asinine policies. You sign off on a bullshit policy, you are accountable for the damages.

      1. Yeah, but it’s hard enough to sue a government employee even in his official capacity, let alone as an individual. Yes, this really is a thing “Joe Jailbird vs Warden Wardson in his capacity as Director of Bumfuck Penitentiary and as an Individual”.

        1. Yeah, but it’s hard enough to sue a government employee even in his official capacity, let alone as an individual.

          And we wonder why we see more and more government repression?

          1. Because we are not willing to combine trees, hemp rope, and political idiots in a problem solving combination.

  6. No sunscreen allowed for a field trip outside, in Texas?!?

    How does that moron of an administrator manage to breathe?

    BTW, she probably should remove the toxic coolant in the school’s air conditioning… just to be sure.

  7. Dig deeper. This is all part of North East Independent School District’s vendetta against gingers.

    1. Oh. Well, that’s ok, then. As long as diabetics are next on the list.

    2. Now you’ve made me sympathetic to the school district. Fuck.

    3. You can burn us, but you’ll never crush our souls.

      1. Well duh, gingers don’t have souls to crush.

    4. I’m madder than I’ve ever been.

  8. “Typically, sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can’t allow toxic things in to be in our schools,” said Aubrey Chancellor, a spokeswoman for the North East Independent School District.

    Translation: This policy is stupid, but we can’t show weakness by changing it. Therefore we’re going to make up a bunch of bullshit and stick to it.

  9. Does anyone know if sunscreen really is poisonous? That just doesn’t sound right. Kids and adults get it in their mouths all the time.

    1. i’m sure you’d end up in the hospital if you ate an entire full size bottle of the stuff, but short of that, i doubt it.

      1. I ate some recently and my stomach was crampy for a few days, and then everything went back to normal.

        1. Was it a main course or just a side?

          1. Just a side, and totally worth it.

        2. Must…resist…temptation…

          1. Since when?

            1. It’s too easy. It’s like beating up a retard, or your mom. There’s no style to it, no finesse. HURR DURR JESSE ATE A WHITE STICKY SUBSTANCE THAT CAME OUT OF A HOLE HURR DURR

              See? No style at all.

              1. It’s like beating up a retard, or your mom.

                You take that back!

                You know what my mom’s skin is like. She might as well be wearing a full suit of leather armor.

        3. What I want to know is how you had extended mouth contact with a body part on which one would have to apply sunscreen…unless nude beach?

          I’m jealous.

          1. Clothing optional resort in Palm Springs.

            I have an open invite to Bristol, UK now for my troubles.

    2. They have non toxic sunscreen. They give it to you at discovery cove so you can swim with the animals and not harm the environment.

    3. Like everything, the dose makes the difference. It does tend to contain things that can be poisonous at certain doses. But, the idiots who argue that skin absorption can be more effective than ingestion for oxybenzone are crazy. Its like bisphenol A with even less evidence.

  10. “Typically, sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can’t allow toxic things in to be in our schools,”

    Sunscreen is more toxic than skin cancer?

    1. They don’t allow the sun in their school. HA!

      1. They apparently allow it on field trips.

  11. Sue the fucking living shit out of them. This won’t end unless there are repercussions for their bullshit.

    We are doomed…the end is nigh!

    1. +1 murderous legal reprisal!

  12. This is a GREAT opportunity to address another possibly toxic substance in school. This scourge is:

    Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)

    Certain quantities of this substance ingested into the body can cause a deadly chemical imbalance. Furthermore, hundreds of children a year die in accidents within vats of dangerous liquid.
    Research indicates that:

    “Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol. “

    1. I hate the whole DHMO screed entirely because they are calling the chemical compound using a bad term.

      It should be Hydrogen hydroxyl. That’s what a H-OH chain is: hydrogen hyrdoxyl. People calling it DHMO are ignorant savages who don’t know anything about chemistry and are thus almost as bad as Hitler.

      1. Well, if we were more informed than we would not be afraid of this chemical compound.

        đŸ˜‰

        1. Or the starting point could be to “not be afraid”.

      2. Almost?

      3. Fuck the IUPAC with rusty barbed wire. Sorry, “barbed wire with a ferric oxide hydrate outer layer.”

  13. Where is your white privilege now, fair-skinned girl?!

    1. Good point.

  14. It must be nice to have a well-paid job that requires absolutely no thought whatsoever.

  15. Ruled.
    By.
    Idiots.

  16. We have to look at the safety of all of our students and we can’t allow children to share sunscreen

    I’m wondering if this is one of those fairness things, as in little Britny can’t afford sunscreen, so it’s unfair that little Caitlin can. Or that little Mary doesn’t need sunscreen because she has dark skin. Or that if the school allows any student to apply sunscreen then they should ensure that all apply it.

    1. Oh, I can see it being the latter.

      You let one student apply sunscreen but you failed to ensure another did. Where’re your SOP documents? Where are your sunscreen application guidelines and criteria? What?! You have separate criteria depending on the color of the student’s Skin! Now its an EEOC complaint.

  17. Numero uno, I’m sad that nobody thought to make a joke about rubbing the lotion on its skin.

    Numero two-o, this is again a rebuttal to the anti-school-choice talking point that “OMG we’re much better than the private schools in handling students with special needs, like kids who may be predisposed to skin cancer.”

    1. Too easy.

    2. Don’t worry, Brett belatedly has you covered.

  18. I don’t know whether to be angrier at the people who created the stupid policy or the teacher who chose to enforce it on the field trip, even though there would have assuredly been no consequences to his/her job. “I brought sunscreen for the pasty kids and I promise not to tell if you won’t”

  19. I dropped Miss Chancellor a note, and right now she’s trying to argue her position with me.


    Miss Chancellor, you and the pinheads you serve in the Northeast Indecent School District are a tragic example of the kind of abject incompetence that pervades American public schools in the past several decades.

    I would urge you to resign and pursue employment in the janitorial services industry, but you’re obviously too goddamned stupid to be trusted with cleaning supplies.

    -jcr

    1. She responded:


      Your comments do not warrant an intelligent response. Clearly – you do not have all the facts.

      Aubrey Mika Chancellor

      1. rejoinder to her response:

        “Your comments do not warrant an intelligent response.”

        Since you’re entirely incapable of an intelligent response, that just works out fine and dandy now, doesn’t it?

        “Clearly – you do not have all the facts.”

        The fact is that when you screw up like this, the thing to do is apologize and promise the parents, the child, and the rest of the community that it will never happen again. You don’t double down on your idiotic policy of depriving children of sunscreen.

        When children are entrusted to you by their parents, your paramount duty is to ensure their safety and well being. it is NOT to sacrifice their welfare to your psychotic need for obedience.

        -jcr

        1. Her next attempt:

          Your comments this time are much more rationale and not personal. Therefore, I will respond.

          Unfortunately, you still don’t have all the facts though.
          When we are in the wrong-
          we will apologize. This matter clearly has two sides, and we review our practices every year with input from medical doctors. But the practice of not allowing sunscreen in the hands of young children does have merit.

          Have you ever seen a child with an allergic reaction to sunscreen?
          Have you ever seen kids horse around and do things they aren’t supposed to do? I.E. Share sunscreen, squirt it on each other, etc.
          Do you know for sure that this particular child was sunburned?
          Are you aware that there are exceptions made for field trips, swim parties, etc?
          Do you know this is a standard practice in most school districts across the country?
          Have you read a bottle of sunscreen to see that it actually says “keep out of reach of children”?

          Aubrey Mika Chancellor

          1. Dear Ms. Mika,

            Did you ever take basic mathematics in school? Do you understand the concepts of tradeoff or mitigation? The solution to the remote possibility that some child in your district might be allergic to sun screen and that some other child might expose them to it, is NOT to deprive every other child of sun screen and to the considerable harm of sun burn.

          2. it actually says “keep out of reach of children”?

            I have a can of cashews that says “don’t give nuts to children under 6″….choking hazard, dontcha know.

          3. Are you aware that there are exceptions made for field trips, swim parties, etc?

            Wasn’t this on a field trip?

  20. Someone needs to explain to me how putting a child out in the sun and despriving them of sun screen such that they get a serious burn is not child abuse. I sure don’t see how it is not.

    1. If the parents wanted to litigate, they’d probably be better off charging negligence than abuse. Cluelessness isn’t the same thing as malice, even if they have equivalent results.

      -jcr

      1. Yes. It is negligence. But serious negligence becomes neglect which when it concerns children is the same thing as abuse.

  21. My last reply:

    “Your comments this time are much more rationale and not personal. Therefore, I will respond. ”

    No, you’re responding because of your need to justify yourself. (By the way, do learn the difference between the words “rationale” and “rational”.)

    “Unfortunately, you still don’t have all the facts though.”

    I’m gaining facts about you with every round of these e-mails.

    “When we are in the wrong-”

    You ARE in the wrong, and you and your colleagues had better apologize before this fracas ends up costing the taxpayers a fair bit more than your net worth in court.

    “we will apologize.”

    So, when will the apology be issued? Get a move on, time’s a’ wasting!

    Continued below…


    1. “This matter clearly has two sides, and we review our practices every year with input from medical doctors. But the practice of not allowing sunscreen in the hands of young children does have merit. “

      No, it doesn’t, and you’re an idiot for continuing to pretend otherwise.

      “Have you ever seen a child with an allergic reaction to sunscreen?”

      I have not, and I’ll bet that you haven’t either. Ever heard of an organization called the FDA? Turns out they don’t let people make sunscreen out of poison ivy extract.

      “Have you ever seen kids horse around and do things they aren’t supposed to do? I.E. Share sunscreen, squirt it on each other, etc.”

      Yeah, they’re regular little chemical weapons experts, aren’t they?

      “Do you know for sure that this particular child was sunburned?”

      I’m going by the news accounts I’ve read. Are they lying?

      “Do you know this is a standard practice in most school districts across the country?”

      Yes, I’m aware that your kind of incompetence is pervasive in this country. More’s the pity. Here’s another tip for you: “But all the other brain-dead bureaucrats are doing it!” is a very threadbare excuse.

      -jcr

      1. Moar! Moar! Please tell me she responded đŸ™‚

        1. Last one was “thanks for your input”. Maybe a slightly smarter apparatchik clued her in to the fact that she was just digging deeper hole.

          -jcr

          1. They will just quietly do nothing until it blows over. Nothing will change. They won’t get any smarter and this kind of stupidity will continue.

        2. Turns out she wasn’t quite done. She got all butthurt and sent me this:

          Sir,
          You should just realize that the issue has a lot of different sides to it.
          I do not appreciate, nor deserve the rudeness and tone of your emails.
          I have a job to do, I did it and will continue to do it.
          You certainly have a right to your opinion.
          What you do not have a right to do is make personal attacks toward me, with insults and inappropriate language and words, which in effect muddy your point.
          You do not know me. Do not act like you do.
          I am finished discussing this matter with you.

          -jcr

          1. Uh, oh. She doesn’t like your tone, young man.

            1. That one is going into his permanent file.

          2. And naturally, like the bubble-wrap popper that I am, I took it apart:

            “I do not appreciate, nor deserve the rudeness and tone of your emails. ”

            Cry me a river! If you’re too delicate for this, why don’t you resign? I’m sure the taxpayers can find far better uses for your salary.

            “I have a job to do, I did it and will continue to do it.”

            Ah, yes? I was wondering when I’d hear the Nuremberg excuse.

            “You certainly have a right to your opinion.
            What you do not have a right to do is make personal attacks toward me,”

            What’s your next guess?

            “with insults and inappropriate language and words, which in effect muddy your point.”

            I have every right to make personal comments about any incompetent jackass living on the taxpayers’ teat, and I will exercise that right anytime and anywhere I see fit.

            “You do not know me. Do not act like you do.”

            It’s true, for all I know you’re a brilliant actress simply pretending to be an idiot. If that’s the case, then well done! You have truly captured the essence of the character!

            “I am finished discussing this matter with you.”

            Is that a promise? Please, oh please say it is!

            1. “I have a job to do, I did it and will continue to do it.”

              Ah, yes? I was wondering when I’d hear the Nuremberg excuse.

              So the school policy is to make fair-skinned children suffer and by golly she intends to enforce such an immoral policy to the fullest extent!

              You should reply that she and the school district is unfairly harming this child based on the color of her skin.

          3. No ma’am, there really are not “different sides to it”. You deprived a young girl in your care of sun screen and she seems to have been harmed because of it. Everyone makes mistakes and does stupid things. That is forgivable. What is not forgivable is being too pig headed to admit a mistake once it is made.

            1. Maybe the child was threatening to give her classmates a coppertone enema, John! Why are you willing to tolerate bullying John?

              1. Oh, it’s probably more like the kids are such brilliant little chemists that they’ve figured out how to start with sunscreen and end up with crystal meth.

                -jcr

      2. ‘Have you seen a child with an allergic reaction to sunscreen?’

        Yes, they get a bit of contact dermatitis. In other words their skin turns a little red.

        Have you ever seen a child with severe sunburns and or sun poisoning? They can end up in the fucking hospital.

  22. I sent the silly bint a link to this thread to give her a chance to defend herself in this discussion.

    -jcr

  23. Can’t? Or, won’t?

    Either? Both?

  24. “We have to look at the safety of all of our students

    “…and we decided that severe sunburn is safer than sunscreen.”

    These people are no better than Jerry Sandusky.

  25. In one respect I have some sympathy for school officials in that if a kid drinks a bottle of sunscreen the school would probably be held liable.

    OTOH, if a kid gets injured from sunburn, the school could be held liable as well.

    So with risks on both sides, who not adopt the policy which is most consonant with common sense, let the kids have sunscreen, and see what happens?

    1. why not adopt

    2. Or why not a field trip to Antarctica? They don’t need sunscreen there, do they?

      1. Ozone hole.

    3. This is not bureaucrat logic.

      If a kid is ALLOWED something and something bad happens, the school is liable.

      If the kid is NOT allowed something and something bad happens, that is just a by-product of policy.

      Here is what teachers and administrators of schools care about, in order of importance:

      1) This week’s Money
      2) This Month’s Money
      3) Next Quarter’s Money
      4) The School’s perpetuation, also known as Next Year’s Money
      5) Pensions
      6) The Union
      7) A Five-year plan of Money
      8) Tenure
      9) The Union
      10) Building maintenance
      11) The safety of the teachers
      12) The children

      I can count on one hand the number of teachers I have met that put children in the top 5. Rookies don’t count. After 5 years, a teacher either drops “the children” out of the top 10 in priority or they quit teaching and look for honest work. 98% of teachers either hate or are ambivalent about the children and parents, the other 2% hate the other teachers.

  26. Can’t they apply the stuff BEFORE they get to school?

    Jeez, people are stupid these days.

  27. The education bureaucrats’ parade of abject retardation continues.

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