Did New York Bully an Alcoholic Slushie Business Out of Existence?



With the heat of summer quickly approaching, New Yorkers might want to quench their thirst with some "Phrosties," alcoholic slushie beverages sold by an eponymous delivery service. Too bad, because New York Sen. Charles Schumer (D) may have just scared the underground drink maker out of existence.

At a press conference on Monday he said it's time for a crackdown on Phrosties because "a 12-year-old can probably buy these 'sloshies' online, get it and enjoy it because it's filled with fruit juice and fruit punch and all the things that taste sweet and nice." 

According to the New York Post, Phrosties is "already are under investigation by the State Liquor Authority because they are unregulated and unlicensed."

Vice's Grace Wyler says that's all it took to put the delivery service "out of business, or at least driven them deeper underground." She reports on Phrosties' quick fade into obscurity:

By Tuesday, the Phrostie Instagram account had been scrubbed clean, its delivery contact details replaced by the warning "WE DO NOT DELIVER." After that, my texts to the previously listed phone numbers went unanswered, until Wednesday night, when I got a reply from the Brooklyn delivery service saying that if I wanted any more Phrosties, I would have to order "ASAP."

Twenty minutes later, a delivery guy showed up and handed me a black grocery bag full of slushies. "That's it for the Phrosties," he sighed. The service, he explained, was selling the last of its inventory and closing up shop, thanks to "Schumer and the regulations, I guess."

"It's all just political propaganda bullshit," he added, with a wave that was both a farewell and a summary dismissal of the crushing regulatory burden of the nanny state.


Were these $10 drinks really so dangerous? Even at the food blog Grub Street where Alexis Swerdloff worried over the fact that Phrosties are unregulated, she bought some anyway and lived to tell the tasty tale. The same goes for International Business Times' Eric Brown who thinks Schumer "has a point" about Phrosties but slurped them down until his face went numb.

For those keeping score, Schumer is also leading the charge against powdered alcohol and in 2010 threw a fit about caffeinated malt liquor drink Four Loko because of its appeal to young people. 

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  1. enjoy it because it’s filled with fruit juice and fruit punch and all the things that taste sweet and nice

    Bitchtits manages to be a unique combination of stupid, creepy and loathsome.

    1. Between Schumer, Rangel, and Pete King, it’s like New York is holding some kind of reality show competition to find the emperor of assholes.

      1. Call the roller of big spliffs,
        The muscular one, and bid him whip
        In plastic bottles frozen grain alcohol.
        Let the wenches twerk in such dress
        As they are used to wear, and let the boys
        Bring chronic rolled in last month’s newspapers.
        Let be be finale of seem.
        The only emperor is the emperor of assholes.

        1. By God, sir…. you hit that one out of the park.

          1. Glad someone appreciates my postmodern poetry here.

        2. *stands and bows*

        3. Well done.

      2. Don’t forget that Hillary also became a carpetbagger New York Senator. And let’s not forget Spitzer either. And what is De Blasio, chopped liver?

        1. Give DeBlasio time, he could join the arsehole pantheon!

        2. I hear Weiner’s running for something again.

        3. Chopped foreskins.

      3. competition to find the emperor of assholes.

        Where do you think the Empire State motto came from?

        1. Excelsior!

          1. Latin for “ever assward”.

  2. Just get off your fat asses and make your own in a goddamn blender.

    1. Fascism much?

      1. No, just self-sufficient.

      2. No, just a red herring because there is no rational defense for this petty tyrant shit.

  3. And finally, coup de grace, Phrosties said that these sloshies don’t kill, injure, maim. Anyone who knows anything about these things knows that they do.

    1. People like Schumer have a monopoly right to kill, injure and maim.

  4. I’ve thought about opening a daiquiri shop here in DC, mainly because I haven’t seen one here and I know people love them. But then I realized the reason they aren’t here. You can’t take it with you. It takes a while to nurse a 64 oz. daiquiri and no one wants to sit around the shop to drink theirs. It’s total bullshit and people should be able to walk off with a frozen alcoholic drink, but that’s those “liberals” in DC for you.

    1. Back in the nineties there used to be a daquiri shop in Savannah, GA, called Wet Willie’s. You could legally walk along the public reverfront area with your drink.

      1. Oh sure, some localities allow it. I grew up in one and walking around with a drink was no big deal. Walking around with a big ass styrofoam cup was an even smaller deal. That’s why there are so many daiquiri shops in those locations. You can take it and go. Hell, there are drive through daiquiri shops all over too.

      2. That business model is pretty much the reason New Orleans exists.

        1. Nothing like getting a hurricane from Pat O’Briens and walking the Quarter.

    2. I’ve never thought of open container laws as anything particularly partisan.

      1. Open container laws are illiberal, aren’t they?

        1. A hangover from Temperance. Hangover. Get it? Ha! I kill me! Hangover.

      2. More a product of TEAM BE RULED.


        1. Truely. Only wastelands like Germany allow the open anarchy of walking around in public with an assault beverage. Don’t even get me started on beer vending machines.

          1. Nobody needs more than 10 oz!

    3. Frozen drink drive-thrus are the only thing I miss about Shreveport.

      Friday after work I could go through one on the way home and get a gallon jug of hurricane, margarita, daquiri, or whatever else for $10 and make a nice little weekend out of it.

      Maybe even take a sip or two on the way home too (the horror!!!)

  5. If Schumer were a fictional depiction of a sleazy, busybody politician, the writer would be lambasted for creating a cartoon. People complain about Feinstein or Pelosi or Reid, but for me, Schumer is the Platonic scumbag.

    1. New York continues to re-elect him.

      1. We get the politician they deserve.

    2. he’s Weiner + 30 years.

  6. NYC can do want it wants to Phrosties. The government owns the roads they were delivered on and can decide who can and cannot use those roads and what they can use them for. And Phrosties were unfair competition for slushy booze bars. Did they even pay the same amount in taxes as as a brink and mortar slushy shop? Were they subject to the same health and safety regulations? Were they paying the city for all the extra congestion their delivery service created?

    But don’t you dare say I want Phrosties banned. I don’t want Phrosties banned, I just want Phrosties regulated out of existence. See how that’s a totally different thing?

    1. Can you imagine if Phrotsies were served at an unregulated dinner party!!!1!1!

      /prog outrage

      1. I’m not selling Phrosties, I’m sharing them with you in exchange for money.


        1. Will you take a handful of homely, docile women instead?


        2. You selling a $10 cup and the contents you give away for free.

          1. You’re*

          2. I like the way you think.

            Also, your handle is great!

            1. In high school I had a friend that did something similar to this. To get around getting a license for a hand car wash place, he kept huge stashes of cheap sunglasses on hand. Like arcade prize cheap. While you took your time to pick out your new $20 shades, he would have someone give your car a wash for “free.”

        3. “It’s not the phrosty that I’m paying for. I’m paying the driver to leave.”

      2. How can you know that the food is safe if the person isn’t licensed? Huh? How? You can’t! Unless the government says it’s safe, there is no possible way to know! And how can you know what’s really in the Phrosties unless they’re regulated? Huh? You can’t! Everything must be approved by the government or… Somalia!!!1!!!!111

    2. And just imagine if someone threw a Phrosty at a cop. He’d be well within his rights to shoot them, of course.

      1. Make it a chocolate Phrosty.

    3. I’m not sure. Is it a parody of Tulpa?

  7. Thank goodness. All those drunken orphans with purple lips really creep me out.

  8. But can a twelve year old buy a Phrostie AND a high capacity assault machine gun from the same on line vendor?


  9. it’s time for a crackdown on Phrosties because “a 12-year-old can probably buy these ‘sloshies’ online ….”

    Sheesh, Chuck, a 12-year-old can probably buy your ‘book’ online — Are you going to crack down on *that*?

  10. Did New York Bully an Alcoholic Slushie Business Out of Existence?


  11. a 12-year-old can probably buy these ‘sloshies’ online

    Giving your 12-yr-old their own creditcard probably wasn’t the best idea.

  12. So why doesn’t the company just get a liquor license and do it “legit”? What am I missing here?

  13. Regulators kill another dream.

    I wonder if they carve notches into their clipboards for every dream they destroy.

  14. Prohibition may have ended in 1929, but its spirit is still alive and well in 2014.

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