U.S. to Help Find Nigerian Girls, Lewinsky's Back in the News, No Drones in Parks: P.M. Links

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  • This is the real reason why Los Angeles banned murals for a while.
    Credit: waltarrrrr / photo on flickr

    The United States will be sending a team to Nigeria to try to help find more than 200 girls kidnapped from their school by terrorist group Boko Haram.

  • Monica Lewinsky is now back in the news. She's written about her affair with President Bill Clinton in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. Hillary Clinton must be thrilled. Well, at least the next presidential election won't be rehashing stuff from the '60s and '70s again like it always seems to.
  • Missouri's lawmakers have thwarted the will of the Democratic governor, overriding his veto and implementing an income tax rate cut.
  • National parks in the United States are not allowing drones to soar and hover over their purple mountains' majesty. Some are being used to record beautiful videos, and we can't be having that.
  • Russia is instituting a ban on profanities in movies, stage performances, and the media. Fuck those guys.
  • An eighth-grade student at a Huntsville, Alabama, school claims she was suspended for opting out of Common Core standardized tests.

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NEXT: U.S. Deploying Security Team to Nigeria for Kidnapping Rescue

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  1. Top Collegiate Debaters in Action

    Behold the future of America.

    1. what the hell? is this supposed to be performance art?

    2. Hahaha. I’ve been involved in some debate activities in college, and one of my friends posted something on Facebook about the evil Redditors making fun of this online.

      I’d just like to point out that this is policy debate, which skews hopelessly left wing and emphasizes “spreading” or reading really fast at the expense of rhetoric. Parliamentary debate also skews really left but it is a lot more eloquent and less prone to rants about critical theory this or white supremacy that.

    3. This only surprises people who haven’t seen/done college debate in a while. People have been gaming the system with in-built “critiques” since at least the mid-90s. Good on those ladies for finding a product the judges would buy and selling it well.

      1. This only surprises people who haven’t seen/done college debate in a while.

        consider me surprised.

    4. I think they let them win, just to shut them up.

      1. Resolved: JW is a RACIST!

      2. I am truly confused. no joke. Is this real? How is this NOT performance art? How is this not trolling?

        I remember debate quite well. I destroyed people. I was most capable of arguing any side and reacting to cross. My speech back then must typically we practiced. What the FUCK was this shit?

        I think I just got punked or some shit.

        1. I couldn’t take the experimental theater for more than a few seconds before turning it off. Dear fuck, are college theater students overly susceptible to every cultural joke that comes down the pike, calling itself art.

          Wait, what? Debate team?

    5. I saw that. It is really one of the most condescending racist things I have ever seen. The various guilty white people who are encouraging that are telling those students “we really can’t expect a black person like you to do the same things we expect of white students”.

      The whole thing is nothing but a 21st Century academic minstrel show.

      1. The really sad part is all the people I know who want to be condescended too. They really like being victims.

      2. “Ladies, will you please go out there and reinforce negative stereotypes?”

      3. The whole thing is nothing but a 21st Century academic minstrel show.

        Ooh, that’s good. You should work that into the cross.

      4. They’ve been doing that for years, no?

    6. /drops cigarette from mouth.

      How the fuck did they even become finalists? How bad was the field?

      Watch out people. These two putzes are now empowered.

    7. From what I understand, this is pretty standard as far as modern college debate is concerned. This is the inevitable result of rampant PCism that takes Bandung-inspired tribalism to its logical end–these guys might as well be acting in a deleted scene from Idiocracy.

      There’s really no greater indictment of the decay and sclerosis of modern academia (the humanities and social sciences, in particular) than this video. As John said, it’s a 21st century minstrel show, only the participants actually believed they’re being empowered by rhetorically showing their ass like this.

      1. The video is shut down cuz of copyright…probably bullshit debaters had a sad when people made fun of them and made a false copyright claim to shut it down.

        Anyway i think i found something similar from 2013.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZrWfDIediU

        Is it just people talking really fast that you can’t understand them?

        If so why doesn’t a rapper with OK talents just kick everyone’s ass at these things?

        I guess I might not actually know what the judges are judging this shit on….I see no talent as debate or as performance.

    8. Un-frikkin’-believable.

  2. National parks in the United States are not allowing drones to soar and hover over their purple mountains’ majesty. Some are being used to record beautiful videos, and we can’t be having that.

    But what if the above-average bear uses them to steal pick-a-nic baskets?

    1. Does this count as a genuine win given Fist’s noticeable absence?

      1. It is an official First, therefore – Win.

        1. Technically Tundra was on topic. I don’t think the rules stipulate you have to quote the link on which you’re commenting.

          1. I will certainly defer to your opinion in absence of evidence to the contrary because you are the acknowledged grand master of the game. Also, that you support a rule which gives the noobs a chance to upset you is very sportsmanly.

            1. I keep my friends close and my enemies closer. And the chocolate covered pretzels even closer.

      2. Eh, From the Tundra was on-topic about a link even if he didn’t quote it. I think that should count.

        1. Quotation is required.

        2. I think that should count.

          amateur hour

          1. While it makes a first easier, the bylaws allow it.

        3. Also remember, alcohol and Dune are always on topic.

    2. But what if the above-average bear uses them to steal pick-a-nic baskets?

      I don’t think Mister Ranger is going to like that.

    3. National parks in the United States are not allowing drones to soar and hover over their purple mountains’ majesty.

      I’m good with this. I don’t go to the wilderness to listen to other people’s toys.

      1. Help from a very unexpected quarter. Thanks, RC. There are a variety of different recreational spaces for different uses.

  3. Sen. Mark DeSaulnier, D-Concord, introduced a bill to test out the vehicle miles traveled (VMT) tax because the state’s gas tax was no longer bringing in the revenue it used to due to people driving more fuel efficient vehicles.

    1. “So if we go on vacation and I drive up to Mammoth, that’s 600 miles. We’re being taxed on vacations?” Kim Robinson said.

      “And if I forget one of the kids and have to drive back, that’s 1200 miles. We’re being taxed on forgetfulness?”

    2. The California Legislature is looking at a voluntary program that would tax motorists for every mile they drive.

      Why doesn’t Sen. DeSaulnier volunteer and let us know how it goes?

    3. If there is any tax increase that is appropriate, it is probably the gas tax (assuming that it is used only for road transport related infrastructure).

      1. I’m mailing an attack drone to you, Zebulon. Please assemble and prepare for whatever destruction a $99 drone can wreak.

    4. They just keep trying to find the point at which Americans stop accepting more government and explode in an orgy of violence against politicians and bureaucrats. Messing with people’s cars might do it – go for it CA.

      (Wonder why Toyota is leaving?)

      1. The thing is, you know they have no intention of replacing the gas tax. This will be an additional tax for shit we’re already paying for, but the state has made 5x more expensive over the years.

  4. Mirror, mirror on the wall…

    Obama Self Portrait

    1. Nice.

      But he’s left-handed.

      1. That’s why he’s smiling.

        1. I hope he’s studied his Agrippa.

  5. Some are being used to record beautiful videos, and we can’t be having that.

    Bodie ghost town in CA, by drone.

    Want to visit!

    1. I’ve been there. It is a pain in the ass to get to, but totally worth it imo.

      1. What kind of pain in the ass? I used to do get to some out of the way places in a ’97 Civic, but my current car scrapes when I pull out of the driveway. Is this a ‘get a rental’ kind of trip, or is it just out of the way?

        1. Orphans and rickshaws, Jesse. Always orphans and rickshaws.

          1. Hmm. I will direct some of my middle-management orphans to send out a memo instructing my whipping orphans to ruggedize some of my undifferentiated orphans for the journey.

            Sound advice, Sudden. Very sound advice.

            1. I chuckled at this.

        2. What kind of pain in the ass?

          The road to get there was like 14 miles of pothole, gravelled roadway. Bumpy. 15 mph top speed. Best done with high clearance if you have it or a sedan you own.

    2. One of those would come in handy in my search for the Lost Dutchman Mine.

      1. Which got its name after one of the orphans, presumably a dutch orphan, managed to escape.

    1. “One Brand… One Vision… One Voice… Doge”

      Wow. Much shittyness. Such clunkers. Wow.

      1. I like the Charger SRT much more than I should.

        1. Plus, it’s every bit as reliable as any other Chrysler!

        2. I hate Chrysler and GM with the passion of a thousand suns, but my comment was just riffing on their use of “Doge” instead of Dodge.

  6. She’s written about her affair with President Bill Clinton in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair.

    Permit me: “Give that lady a cigar!”

  7. Russia is instituting a ban on profanities in movies, stage performances, and the media. Fuck those guys.

    See the real reason Fist wasn’t first today was because Shackford went and stole the joke he was planning on using for this link.

    1. Somebody posted this story in a previous links thread. Fisty could have used his comment then.

      1. You know who else reused comments at different venues?

  8. Good for Monica. If you were her, wouldn’t you do what you could to keep Hillary and Bill out of the White House again?

  9. CNBC survey shows millionaires want higher taxes to fix inequality

    American millionaires have complicated views when it comes to the wealth gap and opportunity in America. They are unashamed of their own wealth and attribute their success to hard work, smart investing and savings. They also believe that anyone in America can get wealthy if they work hard.

    Yet millionaires also believe that cultural and family issues prevent many Americans from climbing the wealth ladder. They advocate improved education, higher taxes on the wealthy and better savings incentives for the poor and middle class as important changes that would reduce inequality.

    1. http://www.treasurydirect.gov/…..t/gift.htm

      Contributions are appreciated

      1. This. I point this out to do-gooders a lot.

      2. Why bother the nice bureaucrats? Cut out the middle-man and send you redistribution funds directly to me.

    2. In that case, I’m sure all of them are sending voluntary tax payments to the feds, right? I mean, if they want higher taxes, they’re free to pay them.

      1. To me, this says “I already have my wealth, so yes, I support higher income taxes on those who are still building theirs.”

        1. They advocate… higher taxes on the wealthy

          This statement infuriates me like no other. There is no tax on the wealth, there is only tax on income. One can be wealthy and make a very modest income in any given year. And God help us if there ever is a wealth tax as that would send financial markets cascading into oblivion.

      2. Or at the very least not doing everything they can to lower their taxable income.

        Of course in reality they hire a legion of tax professionals charged with using every deduction, loophole, and accounting gimmick to lower their taxable income (as they should). They just say they wanna get taxed MOAR HARDERZ so they can feel good about themselves.

        1. they hire a legion of tax professionals charged with using every deduction, loophole, and accounting gimmick to lower their taxable income (as they should)

          They should not if they advocate higher taxes. I think they are taxed more than enough but if Warren Buffett thinks he is under-taxed, the first honest step would be firing all of his tax attorneys. Nothing says hypocrisy more than saying one thing and spending millions to do the exact opposite thing. The shrieking imbecile simply loves him, which should tell you something.

    3. That’s exactly what I would do, if I wanted to raise the incomes of the lower classes: give it to a grotesquely inefficient and idiotically wasteful 3rd party to re-distribute.

    4. Once you’re in the club, lock the door behind you.

  10. Guys, do you think FoE is ok?

    *bites nails*

    1. He valiantly live-commented a stroke once. I don’t know if death could keep him away.

    2. Fist is always first. Not second. Not eighth. Not two-hundred-eleventh.

    3. What a disturbing thought.

      [Goes off to light the Squirrel Signal]

  11. Also, someone please tell me there is alt text to match that picture (can’t see alt text on android browser).

    1. Yes, it reads “This is the real reason Los Angeles banned murals for a while.”

      1. Hmm, not quite as LOL good as I had hoped.

        1. The commentariat has demanded quantity; if the quality suffers, isn’t it our fault?

    2. “This is the real reason why Los Angeles banned murals for a while.”

  12. Phoenix is the worst city ever

    Everything Is Beige

    Like a giant, concrete version of The Thing, Phoenix is a bloated tangle of tasteless architecture that never seems to stop ballooning outward.

    The one thing you’ll notice is everything looks exactly the same. It’s an ever-replicating mirage of beige skies, beige walls, beige houses, beige cars, beige people. Sometimes you’ll see a flash of color, but it won’t last long before the local HOA stamps it out like a cigarette butt.

    Joe Arpaio

    Speaking of Joe Arpaio, the civil-rights-abusing sheriff has been elected six fucking times.

    This is a man who claims Obama’s birth certificate is forged, has his critics arrested in the middle of the night on trumped-up charges, and has been accused literally dozens of times for abusing inmates, many of whom were beaten to death or had their necks broken, all while failing to investigate hundreds of sexual abuse cases.

    Then, “America’s Toughest Sheriff” treats his inmates like his personal court jesters, emasculating them with pink underwear as he watches them sweat in his “Tent City”?a jail made of Korean War-era tents that reaches temperatures of 150 degrees in summer. And all of Joe’s stupidity and callous disregard for justice has cost the city more than $50 million so far.

    Also, Arpaio might run for governor. So we have that to look forward to.

    1. I don’t believe Arpaio is going to run for governor. Too old, and too divisive. However, if he runs, and if he wins, I’m going to have to advocate for walling off the entire state, and then bulldozing, or perhaps nuking everything inside.

      1. But if he did, it would be fun to watch. He’d go down in embarrassment.

      2. Sell it to Mexico.

    2. It is so much worse than socialist paradises like Newark and Detroit.

    3. Is the city the same thing as the county? Because I’m pretty sure Maricopa County is not exactly the same thing as Phoenix.

      1. Phoenix is a distinct polity within Maricopa county.

        There is tension between the county and city police, since Arpaio sent in his goons to do Mexican hunts within the city limits.

        Personally, I have no interest in visiting a banana republic like Arizona.

      2. “The county seat is Phoenix, which is Arizona’s largest city and capital.” [Wikipedia: Maricopa County, Arizona]

        AFAIK, only VA and PA have the german free-city system where designated cities are not part of any county, but are their own county-level municipal entities.

        1. Baltimore is an independent city, governed at the same level as counties in Maryland. It is surrounded by, but not part of, Baltimore County, to encourage confusion.

          1. St Louis is like Baltimore.

            I think only VA has it all over the freakin place.

          2. Ha! That’s nothing, NYC has 5 counties in one city!

        2. AFAIK, only VA and PA have the german free-city system where designated cities are not part of any county, but are their own county-level municipal entities.

          Don’t know about PA, but VA is like this.

    4. I’m going to apply for a job at the Goldwater Institute in Phoenix, so reading the article does distress me.

      Particularly the summer heat magnified by being in a concrete and asphalt sweatbox.

      But on the other hand rents are much cheaper.

      1. I’ve heard it’s a dry heat, so…

      2. And, you’ll be within or near to the 100-mile constitution-exclusion zone adjacent to the US border!

    5. Except for Chicago, Detroit, Baltimore, New York, Los Angeles…

      1. Also some cities have merged with the county to make a single government. Not sure what you call that. I know it’s like that in Nashville and Baton Rouge. I don’t know about other towns.

        1. Louisville also.

          Its called Metro Government here.

          Or there, as Im now in BG. Well, technically Warren County, Im outside the city limits.

          I will be back in Louisville for closing on my house there. And then Im free of that city.

    6. The one thing you’ll notice is everything looks exactly the same. It’s an ever-replicating mirage of beige skies, beige walls, beige houses, beige cars, beige people. Sometimes you’ll see a flash of color, but it won’t last long before the local HOA stamps it out like a cigarette butt.

      Gee, architecture, housing and design in a blazing hot desert climate tends to be relatively uniform in nature? Who could have expected that?

      1. Beige skies? Err, no, not really. Not to mention that sunrise and sunset are uniformly spectacular.

        Beige cars? No again. The desert southwest is a haven for vintage cars and car nuts.

        Beige people? You need to get out more. Plenty of brown people here, if you leave your gated community.

  13. http://www.theguardian.com/glo…..ia-returns

    Socialism: Now With Malaria Standard!!

    1. Goddamn Kochs.

  14. A reader writes:

    I feel disgusted after I orgasm
    I’m a gay man in my 20s and have to force myself to bring my partner to climax because I lose interest if I already have

    1. What a sorry individual. Teaching the idea that sex is inherently dirty is one of the crueler things to do to a child.

      1. It is also possible that he is one of those individuals with low sex drive. Poor devil.

    2. “Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue… a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I… I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.”

      1. + 1 wing attack plan R

    3. That’s a bit extreme, but not too unusual, I don’t think.

    4. I lose interest if I already have

      I am straight. I don’t feel disgusted but after I cum I would rather take a nap then worry about “her” needs.

      Also it has been my experience that after a women cums she will say things like “you can do anything you want to me” or “oh my go i love you”. which is super hot and makes cumming after her way better in my opinion.

      1. Also it has been my experience that after a women cums she will say things like “you can do anything you want to me”

        There are a few women who have deeply, deeply regretted saying that to me.

    1. Pictures or it didn’t happen.

    2. Enterprising. I like this guy.

  15. This article has it all!
    Florida Man Says He Wants to “Marry My Porn Filled Apple Computer” in Federal Gay Marriage Case

    Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

    Now you know who to hunt down when there’s one more fucking sticker on your new electronic device.

    In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

    I support 5A spousal protections for this guy and his laptop, although maybe respect for the 4A would be even better.

    1. Except he doesn’t really love his computer, he’s sexually attracted to the images displayed. It’s not like he’s, uh, “interfacing” with it. He might as well be suing for permission to marry his left hand.

      In any case, the computer can’t consent to marriage. Maybe the next version of Siri, though…

      1. A Chris Sevier sued Apple because it sold him a computer without telling him about the evils of porn. A Chris Sevier sued A&E after it fired Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson after he was caught spewing antigay talk. And just recently, a Chris Sevier tried to butt his way into Utah’s gay marriage legal case. In a 50-page motion, he claimed he was there to make the court “put up or shut up” on the gay marriage issue.

        Yeah. He doesn’t care at all about the reasonableness of his lawsuits.

      2. I have it on good authority that the next version of Siri will actually be Steve Jobs yelling at your and calling you names.

        “Siri, please set my alarm for 8:00 A.M.”

        “Do it your fucking self you lazy piece of shit. And why the fuck are you still in bed at 8:00 A.M. anyway? Do you think I managed to create overpriced pieces of shit that stinky fucking hipsters would buy up like crazy to post stupid fucking Jezebel articles on Facebook if I was sleeping until 8 in the goddamned morning every day. No! So stop being the mouth-breathing waste of human material that your whore mother shit out her cunt and set your own fucking alarm and set it for 5:00 A.M., Bitch!”

    2. You’ve posted this before, but it’s appropriate. 🙂

    3. This is pretty simple. A Computer does not have agency, so it cannot consent to marriage. This asshole is just wasting everyone’s time in a profoundly stupid effort to discredit gay marriage.

  16. It’s like two of our favorite topics in one!

    Cops are called to a Pittsburg school in response to a report of guns.

    “Members of the 78th Pennsylvania Volunteer Infantry were scheduled to conduct a Civil War presentation to a 5th grade social studies class.

    “The muskets were replicas.

    “The situation was resolved once police could verify the scheduled event.

    “The muskets that were used do not fire, Burrell School District superintendent Shannon Wagner said.”

    (CAUTION: video starts immediately)

    http://www.wtae.com/news/civil…..l/25816364

    1. Thank God no one was killed

    2. The more absurd these get, the better. Tyrants cannot survive in the face of the laughter of those they would rule.

    3. Way back in the late 80’s we used to bring real muskets to school to do re-enactments. Nobody gave a shit.

      1. My ROTC (I know shut up) had functional M1s for drill.

    1. I’m reminded of that hilariously awful movie High School High (a personal favorite terrible movie) with Jon Lovitz and Tia Carrere, where there’s a scene at the end where they’re preforming Shakespeare at a strip club.

      Why the hell not. Sounds like an awesome idea to me.

      1. Oh yeah, I remember that POS. It was basically the parody movie of Dangerous Minds, right?

    2. Girls just wanna have fun!

      1. Looks more like girls just wanna draw on themselves. Does nobody make it out of middle school anymore?

    3. thank you

    4. What books?

    5. More like a bad tattoo convention.

    6. This is an old story. Or, those are old pics. I saw them at least a year ago. Nice tits tho.

    7. This story really is just an excuse for Huffington Post to show a bunch of tits.

      The shitty thing is that, unlike say playboy, the models were not payed.

    8. Call me old fashioned but why would someone deface a beautiful breast with ink. (Ducks as the hoi polloi throw rocks).

      I like breasts, uninked preferred…but I’m a whatever blows your hair back kind of guy, to each their own.

  17. Speaking of people with a legal background who make dubious legal claims just to troll the court system

    Orly Taitz is running for California AG!

    The other candidates with statements are a Libertarian and a Republican. Kamala Harris has declined to participate in voluntary spending caps (shocked face!).

  18. Man can’t remember $500k drunken hotel trashing

    Drunk Irishman Padraig Gaffney woke up in a daze before staggering outside his Melbourne hotel room and down the emergency exit stairs to the eighth floor where he turned on a fire hydrant valve and flooded the building causing more than A$500,000 (NZ$534,000) damage, a court has heard.

    Is it really necessary to call him Irish?

    1. Yes. He could have been Australian.

      1. My cousin recently went abroad for the first time. I told him not to drink with Australians. He came home and expressed his profound regret at not having listened.

        1. I’ve been warned not to drink with South Koreans by my buddy who’s traveled there for work. I plan to heed his advice.

          1. It depends. Young Koreans and you’ll just end up in a noraebang (???). If you like karaoke, great. Older Koreans will turn red and start trying to beat the shit out of someone and will throw drinkware before being thrown out of the establishment or being dragged away by embarrassed family.

            Also everything that has alcohol in it will give you a massive hangover in Korea.

            1. Oh, he didn’t have any issues with their behavior. His liver was just begging for mercy.

              1. Yeah. They can pack it away. But they get fighty. And (at least in the town I was in, there were padded platforms for them to pass out on if they couldn’t make it home.

          2. The Japanese can also overwhelm you with Sapporo and sake in corporate situations. Twas fun, IIRC.

        2. Kiwis are worse.

        3. Aussies are pack animals when traveling. I find that rather stupid. The best part of traveling is meeting locals.

          I did meet one Aussie who traveled solo. She was Argentinean by birth, and gorgeous. Met her at a coffee shop in Edinburgh. I didn’t wanna leave.

  19. Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancient Fear

    The great thing about taking over the Star Wars franchise from George Lucas is that it will be virtually impossible for J.J. Abrams to be criticized for the title to his 2015 sequel. Not after The Phantom Menace and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Now that the core cast has been announced, attention has shifted to what the film will be called, and Harry Knowles at Ain’t It Cool is confident that the working title is Star Wars: Episode VII ? The Ancient Fear. Reportedly, the title “refers to Max Von Sydow’s villain who makes Pazuzu look like a p?y!” ? Pazuzu being the demon that Von Sydow’s priest battled in The Exorcist.

    First off, the two key words are “working title.” Older folks might recall that Return of the Jedi operated under the title Blue Harvest ? if only to keep the plot under wraps. And Abrams himself referred to his 2009 Star Trek reboot as Corporate Headquarters during production to throw spies off his scent. Now, the Internazzi has the smell of Fear ? unintentional hat-tip to the second-and-a-half Naked Gun movie.
    That said, The Ancient Fear sort of rings true. It sounds conceivable and fits within the franchise’s tradition of three- or four-word titles.

    I prefer Star Wars Episode VII: Rise of the Lens Flares

    1. Okay, so is Khan in this one or not?

      1. Holographic Ricardo Montalb?n FTW!

      2. You mean Admiral Khan, correct?

        1. Sure, why not? Admiral Chaka Khan.

        2. James Caan?

          1. Absolutely. Sonny Khanelone.

      3. “Commander, although your Force abilities intrigue me, you are quite honestly inferior. Mentally, physically.”

        1. If Montalb?n were still alive, Kirk, my old friend, I’d say go for it. I mean, he’d rule in Star Wars. But he isn’t. And, as much as I like Cumberbatch, he’s not fine Corinthian leather.

          1. He was the best thing about those Spy Kids movies, and that was when he was in a wheelchair.

            1. I’ve always liked him. Even in the Cordoba commercial.

      4. No, definitely not.

        *smirks*

        Well, maybe.

        *wink*

        OK, he is, but don’t tell anyone!

    2. “And, God willing, we will produce Star Wars VII, The Search for More Money.”

    3. Hell, when it came out I thought “The Temple of Doom” was a godawful title.

  20. The tax cuts could benefit about 2.5 million individuals and families, with the wealthiest standing to gain the most,

    Hmmmmm

    The new law is designed to gradually reduce Missouri’s top individual income tax rate ? currently charged on all income over $9,000 ? from 6 percent to 5.5 percent.

    Uh huh, all those filthy rich people making over $9k!

    1. It would be nice if people would maybe learn about marginal utility. If a millionaire gets to keep say and extra $50,000 because of a tax cut, that will not have the same marginal utility to him that keeping an extra $1200 a year will have to someone making $30,000 a year.

      Indeed, the idea that money has lower marginal utility for rich people is the original justification for progressive taxation.

      1. And of course this isn’t a progressive tax at all, so any cut in the tax truly does benefit almost everybody making a living and not the wealthy.

        Thank god I’ve only ever lived in a no-income tax state. I couldn’t even imagine paying an extra 6% in taxes now, nevertheless when I was working summer jobs. That’s completely obscene.

    2. Yes, the wealthiest will gain the most. That’s how percentages work.

    3. Missouri GOP really deserves a hand here. No surprise that ABC tacked on some crap insinuating a casual link between Kansas’s tax cuts and its credit downgrade.

  21. California Rep: Raise State Minimum Wage To ‘$26 An Hour’

    Why not $1000?

    1. That’s easy.

      People would steal your employees by offering $1500.

  22. Things are gonna be bad and stuff and uh, so on…

    “Federal report spells out global-warming threat to West”
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/art…..ationworld

    This is supposed to be driven by science, but they use a two-month-old photo of a dry reservoir since we’ve had enough rain to fill them since then. And then there is nary a word about what the proposed fixes will cost compared to any alternatives.
    It’s embarrassing as propaganda.

    1. Colbert was interviewing a VA congressman last night, and after talking about clean water protection he segues into climate change and rising oceans.

      Colbert: “So if the water is coming to attack us, why are you trying to protect it? Whose side are you on?”

      1. Is it just me, or has climate change become a big story again? Seemed quiet for a while.

        1. It’s the left’s desperate final effort at pushing this bullcrap. An effort that of course is doomed to fail.

          1. I guess the election is getting pretty close. Time to max-demonize.

            1. They’re not going to let any lack of warming stop them from convincing us that we’re all going to die from the heat…unless, we give them MOAR POWER.

            2. If they think this is going to help them in any elections soon oh man they are in for hurt.

          2. It is also a desperate attempt to change the conversation.

            The clippers owner story is losing interest…the left really do not want anyone to start looking at the million and one scandals at the whitehouse.

            1. These “Look, over there!” tactics grow ever so tiresome.

        2. Climate change is the ultimate bogeyman which requires 1) massive funding, and 2) increased control over people’s lives.

          It’s a fascist’s wet dream!

    2. Government funded study says we need more government. Surprise, surprise.

  23. “THE CIRCUMCISION CONTROVERSY raises a number of densely overlapping issues. I begin with the most obvious?the limits governments may legitimately place on religious practices.”

    https://www.commonwealmagazine.org/mark-belonging

    1. Awww, what a cute attempt to frame protecting children from irreversible genital mutilation as a religious freedom issue.

      1. I know. You know how many religious infants I know? Yeah, you do.

        1. I once knew a Unitarian baby. He was pretty cool.

      2. I think your comment is just an adorable set-up for government seizing more control from parents.

        1. In this case ‘Seizing control’ = ‘protecting from abuse by’

      3. irreversible genital mutilation

        Even though I didn’t have my son circumcised I have since learned that it is not irreversible. I learned about it, where? Here of course.

        1. Foreskin “restoration” does not actually restore the foreskin, which has specialized cells.

        2. Good for you for not letting your son be mutilated, srsly.

          Depends on the degree of mutilation and the motivation of the mutilatee to try and do something about it.

    2. I still got it!

      http://bitsocialmedia.com/wp-c…..-Troll.jpg

  24. Top 10 Hillbillies and Redneck Horror Movies

    http://tinyurl.com/mxa7dwe

    Some good ones on here.

    4. Tucker and Dale Vs Evil (2010) (need to look into that one)

    1. 4. Tucker and Dale Vs Evil (2010) (need to look into that one)

      I don’t know that you’ll like it. It’s excellent, and very funny but the hillbillies are likable characters and the city folks are the problem. Most of the action is derived from misunderstandings and snap judgments about how bad hillbillies Sons of the Soil are.

      1. Plus, Tyler Labine is some kind of hot.

        1. He either looks really good or excessively douchey. I find Alan Tudyk kind of odd looking, but really attractive.

      2. I like camp. And I like rednecks. I am from Georgia so I have to.

        I have a list of words I learned from them.

        Like “fram” it.

        “Fram that goddamn screwdriver in there”

      3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddemyQkG3Ms

        Trapped: Henry Silva does hillbilly well.

  25. Habs.
    Bruins.
    Game 3.
    Tonight, in Montreal.
    A dandy for sure!

    1. The Habs are the only team left in the East I don’t outright despise, so I have to root for them.

    2. Boston hockey fans around here have been awfully quiet.

  26. Woman at OWS elbowed cop in face. Classic he said, she said ensues:

    After a four-week trial, Cecily McMillan, 25, a graduate student, was convicted of felony second-degree assault for elbowing New York police Officer Grantley Bovell in the face as he led her out of Zuccotti Park in a March 2012 protest.

    OK, so far my loyalties are divided.

    Bovell testified that McMillan intentionally sprang at him and hit him in the face on March 17, 2012, as he was helping fellow officers clear the park during a protest marking six months since the creation of the Occupy movement in late 2011.

    McMillan countered that she went to the park to meet a friend, not to be part of the protest. She said she felt someone feeling her breast, so she instinctively struck back.

    1. It’s a conundrum. Who lies about assault more? Cops or feminist activists?

      1. I find both stories pretty equally plausible. My friend who is sympathetic to OWS saw this as a travesty of justice, but unless this article is leaving out something important, who fucking knows?

        Ideally the judge would’ve told everyone to suck it up and go home.

  27. I’m just asking questions but OBAMA AND EARTHQUAKES?!?

    http://i.imgur.com/rAbVHvT.png

    “I believe in coincidences, coincidences happen every day. But I don’t trust coincidences.” – Elim Garak

    1. +1 hockey stick

    2. It’s going to turn out that fracking has unleashed giant Dune style sandworms that are burrowing their way to the surface. Once out, nothing short of a nuke will stop them, not even sacrifices of environmentalists howling that they “warned us about fracking!” even as the sandworms devour them.

      Truly it’s a terrible time to be alive. But at least we have HDTVs to watch it all.

      1. I would prefer the “Tremors” scenario. Of course, “Tremors” was simply a prequel to “Dune,” representing the beginning of the end of Arrakis as a wet, fertile world.

      2. It’s more likely to unleash the Horta.

      3. Does that mean I can be a sandrider?

    1. Prof. Walter Williams’ amnesty for teh white peoplez

      Seriously, I hate self-hating people (which admittedly makes my hate redundant, but I have strong feeling about it). I don’t feel guilty for the caste system, so I don’t see why they should feel bad about the myriad sins of others either.

      1. I love Walter Williams.

    2. Not sorry for how I was born. Not a we. A guy. Very straight. Extremely white.

  28. “IRS to Tax Dodgers: Your Swiss Accounts Are Safe

    “A delay in a new rule will protect big banks’ big-shot clients”

    http://www.newrepublic.com/art…..ign=buffer

  29. The wonderful thing about Monica is how she gets proggies to completely jettison their feminist principles. From Raw Story comments:

    Lorenzo_deMedici ? 22 minutes ago
    How can we miss you if you won’t go away?

    Seriously, Monica, there is nothing else the public wants/needs to know about the scandal. We know it all, right down to the blue dress Bill jizzed on. We know it was consensual. We know about your thong. We know Linda Tripp’s an ass. Honey, just let it go. Learn from the past, but don’t re-live it.

    Amy Susan Fisher ? 28 minutes ago
    This whole thing smells to high heaven. The timing is suspicious. Why is she speaking out now? Is somebody paying her to break her silence in the hope of sabotaging HRC’s supposed presidential campaign? (The Koch brothers spring to mind.)

    Bob Loblaw ? 35 minutes ago
    “Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship,” she wrote.

    Sweetie, consensual does not mean “taking advantage of”. FAIL.

    zambeezee ? an hour ago
    ‘I was made a scapegoat’…well you put your money where your mouth was…
    scapegoat my ass! you’re just as complicit. get over it! that’s what happens when you play with big league politicians. they scrape you off the bottoms of their shoes.

    They really, really, REALLY do no want to think about this.

    1. The dissonance between that and everything they say about rape is jarring even for them.

      1. The Team Clinton response to the scandal was absolutely sociopathic. They slut-shamed her on a national level and Hillary called her a “looney-toon” that was out to get her husband.

        If she doesn’t keep the dress with the physical evidence she is forever Monica the Crazy Stalker.

        But they just have to pile on Linda Tripp, Ken Starr, and of course the Koch Brothers because closing ranks around Hillary is more important.

        1. To me that is the thing that needs to be thrown in Hilary’s face. She was willing to slut shame and paint as a psychotic stalker a woman she knew was telling the truth. What an evil bitch.

          1. Liberals/progressives are skillful practitioners of ‘ends justifies the means’.

    2. This whole thing smells to high heaven.

      Seriously. Wash that damn dress already!

    3. Wow. They even found a way to blame this on the Koch brothers.

      1. I know! I actually started laughing out loud reading that one. It’s like a cliche convention, these people.

    4. Circle the wagons. Attack the injuns heretics.

  30. “Documents obtained from the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office allege a counselor at a health clinic intentionally withheld information about an alleged rape from law enforcement personnel, months before others came forward to stop a Poston Butte High School student from attacking more teenagers.

    “Tyler Kost, 18, is accused of raping or molesting at least 18 girls, most of them fellow classmates at Poston Butte High School. He is being held without bond in the Pinal County jail.

    “In forensic interviews with Sheriff’s Office sex crime detectives, a girl who says she became pregnant after Kost raped her last year visited a Planned Parenthood clinic with her mother on New Year’s Eve. According to the report, her mom told the staffer about the sexual assault during the visit.

    “”The counselor intentionally miscoded the assault as a consensual encounter,” the PCSO report states. “The counselor told them that they did not want the hassle of having to report the assault to law enforcement as they were a mandatory reporter.”

    “That’s a violation of Arizona law, which requires all suspected sexual abuse incidents be reported to law enforcement.”

    http://www.trivalleycentral.co…..B0.twitter

    1. Tyler Kost, 18, is accused of raping or molesting at least 18 girls,

      And not one of them had a boyfriend, I guess. Its really hard for me to imagine something like that going on at my high school without it coming out, and some justice delivered via pointy cowboy boots.

      1. And not one of them had a boyfriend, I guess.

        My guess is not one of them had a Dad (or a second butch mom) in the house…or brothers with a dad that told his Son’s “Kill anyone who touches your sister”

        Not only does single motherhood significantly increase the chances your son will be a rapist it also significantly increases the chances that your daughter will be raped.

  31. Dear Prudence: Help! My wife and I want to swing with our much younger neighbors

    While my wife and I were swingers in our early 20s (and enjoyed it very much!), we moved to a more conservative area 10 years ago and found ourselves completely disconnected from others in that subculture (we are now 40). About a year ago, a couple in their late 20s moved in next door. Our homes are very close together, and their bedroom is next to our driveway, where I spend a great deal of my time tinkering around. Imagine my delight when I first heard them loudly going at it. Occasionally, my wife and I can also hear them while we’re in our kitchen. We feel a little guilty about this voyeurism, but it has caused our sex life to explode again. We also think we’re picking up interference from their baby monitors, as we’ve heard them having sex and some of their discussions (including their apparent interest in swinging).

    The couple is very polite to us, and my wife and I have thought about getting to know them better in hopes it could lead to something more. Is this something we should pursue? If not, is it still OK to listen in?

    1. If it turns out they’re trolling this couple, I will giggle endlessly.

    2. Love thy neighbor

    3. They should put a pineapple on their porch.

      1. Is that what that means?

        1. I’ve heard that quite a bit, though it may just be a myth.

          1. I thought it was just a general sign of gracious hospitality.

            1. What could be more graciously hospitable?

              1. I know, right?

      2. Or a goat in the garden.

    4. Good luck with that. If you ask and they say no, I hope you have a good realtor.

    5. Prudence’s writers continue to make the questions consistently just on the edge of being believable enough for people to think the questions are real.

    6. H.I.: What are you talkin’ about, Glen?

      Glen: What am I talkin’ about? I’m talkin’ about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin’ about? I’m talkin’ about l’amour! I’m talkin’ that me and Dot are swingers, as in “to swing.” I’m talkin’ about wife swappin’. I’m talkin’ about what they call nowadays open marriage. I’m talk…

      H.I.: [Knocks Glen to the ground with a punch] Keep your goddamn hands off my wife!

    7. While my wife and I were swingers in our early 20s (and enjoyed it very much!), we moved to a more conservative area 10 years ago and found ourselves completely disconnected from others in that subculture (we are now 40).

      Interesting–Hollywood led me to believe that all conservatives were closet-cases who naturally indulged in everything they purported to despise.

      What am I supposed to think when a couple of free-spirited, unihibited swingers can’t find a robust network of like-minded individuals in their more conservative neighborhood?

      1. “What am I supposed to think…”

        They’re not trying hard enough?

      2. What am I supposed to think when a couple of free-spirited, unihibited swingers can’t find a robust network of like-minded individuals in their more conservative neighborhood?

        They’re aren’t perceptive and whoever introduced them to other swingers in the first place wasn’t there to hold their hands.

        The local swingers found them creepy and avoided them.

        They are incapable of using the internet.

        They are unwilling to drive more than 3 blocks for sex.

        1. The local swingers found them creepy and avoided them.

          Considering they’re listening to signals from their neighbors’ baby monitor, this I can actually believe.

    8. No. Don’t fuck your neighbors. just a bad idea.

      But yeah listen all you want so long as you are not installing surveillance equipment on another person’s property.

  32. The irony is lost

    Climate denial is based not on science but on ideology. The denial is caused by a desire to maintain the status quo and/or an opposition to the policies needed to solve the climate problem

    1. If you think rain on your wedding day isn’t a form of irony, does that make you a climate denier?

      1. No, just somebody who understands the English language.

        1. Ok so it is not Irony that politically motivated climate change nuts blame skeptics for being politically motivated then what is it?

          Hypocrisy?

          Cognitive Dissonance?

          Certainly there is a word or phrase to describe this type of phenomena more specifically.

          The stove calling the pot black complex?

  33. Jezzie tackles the Princeton Privilege Kerfuffle, money quote:

    Dear Privileged Princeton Kid,

    Your angry op-ed has been been going around my Facebook for a few days now, and since I’m tired of unfriending those who have approvingly posted it, I’d like to address you directly here. [Additional derpage follows but not quoted as a favor to you all]

    Poor, poor Violet. She just can’t bear the thought of anyone disagreeing with her.

    1. Fuckin LOL at that weblink: groupthink.jezebel.com

      Talk about truth in advertising.

    2. I still cannot believe that they called their site “GroupThink.”

  34. Thoughts?

    The case helped fuel a national debate about how far a person can go to protect himself from bodily harm and his home. It also divided Little Falls, a town of about 8,300 located 100 miles north of Minneapolis.
    Smith never denied shooting the teens, but told police he had feared for his life.
    Prosecutors say Smith had moved his truck to make it look like no one was home, then sat in a chair at the bottom of his stairs with a book, energy bars, a bottle of water and two guns. He also set up a hand-held recorder on a bookshelf.

    I feel that’s it different than the garage incident, because they definitely broke in.

    1. I would have never convicted. Fuck them. Any time you break into someone else’ home, you are, as far as I am concerned, giving them a license to kill you.

      1. Let’s take another somewhat common scenario–I know of multiple cases from various times and places (though pretty much always in big college towns) where some reveler, very very drunk, will, while walking home, end up breaking into the house of some stranger and pass out.

        Let me make clear that I think such people are idiots, are definitely committing a crime, and probably deserve at least a night or two in jail in addition to obviously compensating the property owner for damages inflicted.

        But if I’m at home, and hear a noise downstairs, and investigate and find a young person drunk and passed out on my couch, do I have the right to dismember them with a hatchet?

        Do not read that as me imputing that you believe I would have such a right in that scenario, just asking for clarification on your position.

        Also, in case you didn’t see my reply, I would still like an apology from your for your remark in the Nigeria thread.

        1. It is all about circumstances. If the person is passed out, then no. But these guys were not passed out. I understand your concerns but I feel that strongly about the sanctity of people’s homes.

          1. I agree that this situation is significantly different, but do you not think it’s slightly problematic that this guy appears to have deliberately chosen to use violence to solve a problem that did not require it?

            1. Since cops don’t really investigate burglaries and break-ins anymore, you are pretty much left with self-help.

              Did this self-help go too far? Maybe. If someone breaks into my house, I’m responding muzzle-first, and probably not going to engage in a deep analysis of the facts-and-circumstances before I make my decision.

              That said, calm deliberation and running commentary, that you record yourself, are not what you build your self-defense claim on.

            2. Doesn’t matter if it’s ‘required’ matters if it’s justified. It was justified.

              1. If you can set a trap to kill a person you can set a trap to not kill a person.

                It was murder.

            3. slightly problematic that this guy appears to have deliberately chosen to use violence to solve a problem that did not require it?

              OK, here’s the thing with this: the violence occurred when they broke into his home. They didn’t cut across his lawn. They didn’t rummage through his toolshed. They didn’t trash an empty vacation home like those kids a while back. They broke into an occupied home at night. You do that, he’s within his rights to shoot you dead. Period fucking dot.

              Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

              1. It was premeditated. Full stop.

                He wasn’t protecting himself, he was executing intruders.

                1. He wasn’t protecting himself, he was executing intruders.

                  The two are not mutually exclusive.

                  1. Correct, they can not be mutually exclusive.

                    In this case, the two are. He was in no danger whatsoever, being that they were unarmed and he wasn’t surprised in the middle of the night. I’m not condoning or excusing their behavior nor minimizing their contribution in this event, but he went far beyond any duty to protect his home.

                    1. He was in no danger whatsoever

                      Citation needed.

                      being that they were unarmed

                      Irrelevant.

                      but he went far beyond any duty to protect his home.

                      It’s not about duties, it’s about rights. He had the right to defend his home against intruders.

                      As I said a week or so ago, if this was out in public I’d have a different take. But they broke into his house. The lesson here is simple: don’t break into people’s houses, and the last thing you see on the earth won’t be the barrel of a gun.

                    2. Citation needed.

                      He was armed. They weren’t. He was also waiting to ambush them.

                      Irrelevant.

                      Still taking knives to gun fights, eh? You’ll learn.

                      It’s not about duties, it’s about rights. He had the right to defend his home against intruders.

                      He set them up, lured them in and executed them, plain and simple. That’s not defending your home. That’s being a bloodthirsty and murderous cunt. If you can’t see the difference between legitimate defense and premeditated murder, then you’re too stupid to be taking part in this conversation.

    2. They definitely broke in, but this wasn’t anything resembling self defense. Murder without a doubt.

      1. You don’t feel that the deterrent to breaking in being killed is important? Look at what happened in England when they got rid of it.

        1. There’s a deterrent effect, but it’s not, to me, a proper punishment, assuming there isn’t a reasonable belief on behalf of the shooter that his life was in danger (and here there very clearly wasn’t).

          1. I’m of the opinion that he shouldn’t have killed them, but that he also should not have been prosecuted.

            This is the reason:

            By comparing criminal victimization surveys from Britain and the Netherlands (countries having low levels of gun ownership) with the U.S., Florida State University criminologist Gary Kleck determined that if the U.S. were to have similar rates of “hot” burglaries as these other nations, there would be more than 450,000 additional burglaries per year where the victim was threatened or assaulted. (Britain and the Netherlands have a “hot” burglary rate near 45% versus just under 13% for the U.S., and in the U.S. a victim is threatened or attacked 30% of the time during a “hot” burglary.)

          2. I really don’t see why the burden is on him to be in danger. His home is his castle. If you consciously invade that castle you have forfeited your rights.

      2. Is it?

        Let’s do some thought experiments.

        You hear someone break into your house. You grab your gun, and take up a position behind a bed, steadying the barrel on the bed. When the guy comes into view, you blast him. Is that murder? Or self defense?

        Larry Stack of Fort Worth Texas sends a friend an email saying that he is coming to crash your dinner party and kill you. You make sure your gun is ready and that you have a good view of the driveway, and you blow him away when he comes running up brandishing a pig shaped back-pack. Murder? Or self-defense?

        Every Thursday, one of the houses in your neighborhood gets broken into and cleaned out. You decide that on Thursdays you are going to lie in wait like General Gerard waiting for Drake Maijstral. You kill the intruder. Murder? Self Defense? What if the intruder turns out to be a Dennis Rader?

        Lying in wait for an intruder isn’t necessarily murder.

        1. Larry Stack of Fort Worth Texas

          lol

    3. I’d have a lot more sympathy if one them wasn’t a teenage girl.

      1. Can’t tell if serious.

    4. We went through this issue many months ago.

      Unless the facts of that case have changed, he murdered those kids. I’m glad he’s going to a pound-you-in-the-ass prison.

      1. Unless the facts of that case have changed, he murdered those kids criminals.

        Edited for accuracy. And yeah, he did.

        1. He did. The question is: should it be legally punishable?

        2. If he had only shot each of them twice, self defense. But he executed them.

        3. Unless the facts of that case have changed, he murdered those kids criminals.

          All crimes carry a death penalty now, RC?

          1. The death penalty is the State killing after the fact. This case was a man protecting his home from intruders. They have almost nothing in common.

            1. Oh, hi, Bo. I didn’t know you were here.

              Please, argue semantics more.

          2. He said it was murder…

            he was only clarifying that they the murdered were criminals.

            It is murder to murder a criminal you know.

      2. How is this murder?

        1. It is murder. There are many circumstances where murder can be justifiable, or at least non-prosecutable.

        2. It is murder. There are many circumstances where murder can be justifiable, or at least non-prosecutable.

          1. If it’s justified, it ain’t murder. See Virginian’s excellent comment above.

            1. If it’s justified, it ain’t murder. See Virginian’s excellent comment above.

              So I guess justifiable homicide doesn’t exist?

              1. They’re not murder.

        3. How is this murder?

          After all your time on the board, I don’t really expect you to understand such things, as not killing people.

  35. Immigrant gets Obamacare plan for just $.27 (27 Cents!) a month.

    http://articles.philly.com/201…..ients-plan

    1. And the real premium is probably $300 a month.

  36. “The 700 Club” host and conservative Christian leader Pat Robertson has expressed opposition to arguing with atheists on social media about the existence of God….

    “”The Bible also says you don’t cast your pearls before swine because they will turn and rend you,” said Robertson, adding that “a swine is hungry for nuts!””

    http://www.christianpost.com/n…..ts-119012/

    1. Sounds pretty similar to Neil Douchebag Tyson and Bill Nye.

      1. Wow, you guys hate science even more than I thought. I know wingnuts hate Darwin too. What about Einstein? Wasn’t he kind of a shithead?

        1. The irony in this.thread is.palpable.

  37. Found film from 1938 shows family vacation AND HITLER.

    In 2013 I found several rolls of negatives in a thrift store in Roanoke, Virginia. They were standard 35mm, black and white and some of the rolls were clearly nitrate film. The film was still supple so I had the rolls digitized the following day. Much to my surprise the film included photographs of Hitler and King Emmanuel on parade, other Nazi images from Naples, Italy in the Spring of 1938, numerous photos of Naples city life, a Mobil Oil plant there, Mount Vesuvius, Pompeii and photos of Manhattan.

    AND HITLER

    1. My wife’s aunt was going through some old films and stumbled upon one of a 1958 Columbus Day parade in North Boston. At the end of the parade are Senator and Mrs Kennedy. It is kind of cool to see really famous people in a home movie like that.

  38. Breaking:
    White House in lockdown after car drives into restricted area

    I’m sure he just got lost.

    1. It that woman with the kid back *again*?!

      1. If so, the zombie apocalypse is upon us. With my last breath I will curse the NFA and BATFE for not allowing just anybody to have a suppressor.

    2. Could be another joy ride by Yasiel Puig.

  39. 45% of men orgasm within 2 minutes and why I’m okay with that

    I’ve had sex that’s lasted anywhere from 2 minutes to 6 hours. I was probably on some sort of drugs during the latter, but it’s not like I haven’t experienced long-lasting quality sex. I just prefer shorter sex. There are plenty of other things to do that don’t involve a penis inside a vagina. I personally enjoy waiting until the near-end of our foolin’ around to put his junk in the V. It’s fun to wait and you don’t get all sore.

    I’ve put up with relentless marathon sex from amateurs way too much. There is nothing sexy about a guy with the sole mission of pleasing himself during sex. I should be the focus, not you. I have like a million things that need to be happening at the same time for me to orgasm.

    One time I had stupid-long sex and my vagina was swollen and burning for a week after. After the condom was rubbing against it for hours, the inside of my vagina felt like a rug burn. I couldn’t wear underwear until it went back to normal. The sex wasn’t even that great, I was just going along with the dude who could barely keep his boner he was so wasted. Being young and thinking you need to please men is so dumb.

    1. She sounds like a barrel of laughs in the sack.

    2. I should be the focus, not you.

      No wonder it took him 6 hours.

      1. She is more proof men will stick it in anything at least once.

        1. Did you see the picture of her at the top of the article? Most guys would without knowing her beliefs.

      2. Female privilege and entitlement is a myth!!! She must be a man.

    3. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

        1. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    4. I’ve only had a handful of orgasms from vaginal sex alone, and most of those were faked.

      So…you have not in fact had a handful of orgasms from vaginal sex alone…

      1. Are you…mansplaining her orgasms to her?

        Can you even do that?

        1. I have like a million things that need to be happening at the same time for me to orgasm.

          She certainly needs some sort of mansplaination.

          1. No, she needs THIS.

            1. Nice try, but you can’t trick me into watching Jane Fonda come!

              1. Curses!

                I’ll get you yet, Mad Scientist…

    5. I was probably on some sort of drugs during the latter,

      How can you not know?

      1. How can you not know?

        Cuz she did not actually ever have sex that lasted 6 hours.

        She sounds like a woman version of a 13 year old virgin boy describing all the awesome sex he has had.

    6. I should be the focus, not you.

      Maybe. It depends on if your focus is on me. If not…

  40. The Daily Mail is shocked that a lottery winner would wait to claim prize.

    What’s the rush? Second Mega Millions jackpot winner from Maryland waits SEVEN WEEKS before finally claiming their winnings

    1. Okay, so let’s say you’re going to take millions of dollars as a lump-sum payment. Where do you put it? How do you protect yourself from taxes, liability, etc.? Better have that all figured out before the money is in your hands.

      1. I thought everyone had that figured out before buying the ticket?

        1. Everyone? Probably closer to no one. I mean, the odds are ridiculous, after all.

      2. And in states that don’t allow anonymity for winners, how to avoid as much attention as possible.

        1. No kidding. The last thing I’d want is for everyone to know I’d won.

        2. IIRC, it’s possible to create a trust where the beneficiary is not public and have it turn in the ticket, in which case the only public name would be the lawyer you hired to be the trustee (who in turn could not reveal the beneficiary for attorney/client reasons).

          1. I’ve heard about this being used here, I think. That’s probably how I’d do it. Of course, since you’re likely going to invest in businesses and do other things that will eventually involve you personally, you may not be perfectly anonymous.

      3. Hell yeah. I wouldn’t claim that prize until all.my financial and legal ducks were.in a row.

  41. Does Jesse know about this/

    Jon Hamm says working in the porn industry was ‘soul-crushing’

    1. I did not.

    2. Jon Hamm has a soul?

    3. If his porn name wasn’t Hamm Bone, than he missed a amazing opportunity.

  42. Putin’s ‘Human Rights Council’ Accidentally Posts Real Crimean Election Results

    The website of the “President of Russia’s Council on Civil Society and Human Rights” posted a blog that was quickly taken down as if it were toxic radioactive waste. According to the Council’s report about the March referendum to annex Crimea, the turnout was a maximum 30%. And of these, only half voted for annexation ? meaning only 15 percent of Crimean citizens voted for annexation.

    Democracy!

    The official Crimean election results, as reported widely in the Western press, showed a 97 percent vote in favor of annexation with a turnout of 83 percent. No international observers were allowed. This pro-Russia election pressure would have raised the already weak vote in favor of annexation.

    1. That’s it folks, the Crimea is closing. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

    2. That actually less than a poll taken about a month before the referendum which showed about 40% of Crimea wanted to join with Russia.

    3. Somebody got fired for that. Or just fed to wolves.

    4. Something interesting I found the other day. Look at how the Crimea was Tatar a century ago.

      1. What is that? Ethnic cleansing? Or just ethnic handwashing?

    1. I know Orwell’s novel was an allegory of Soviet communism but to fixate on Snowball as Trotsky and Napoleon as Stalin is to miss the profundity of the story. At its heart, Animal Farm is about tyranny and the likelihood of those in power to abuse that power. It’s clear that tendency is not only found in the Soviet communist experience. In fact, if you read Animal Farm today, it seems to warn not of some now non-existent communist threat but of the power concentrated in the hands of the wealthy elites and corporations.

      Because the Kochs have locked millions up in the gulag. It is astounding how stupid these people are.

      1. What on Earth does tyranny have to do with capitalism?

      2. Is stupid the right word? I’m not always sure.

    2. “Me fail English lit? That’s unpossible.”

    3. Orwell critiqued capitalism plenty. To attempt to twist Animal Farm in this way is stupid, sure, but even worse, it’s just plain lazy.

      1. Like the book’s intended target isn’t as clear as day. Jesus.

  43. Kill all men

    You stay classy, Jezebel.

    1. Edith GroveUzap rowsdower
      Sunday 3:53am
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      I cannot stand when men refer to women as females. It’s so icky and awful and I hate it. I even see women calling women females and it’s so gross.

      I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Fucking men.

      What?

      1. I read stuff like this, and my deep appreciation for my wife and her total rejection of this mindset is renewed yet again.

      2. I cannot stand when men refer to women as females.

        I don’t like it either. A dog or an end of a hose can be female. Only a human being can be a woman.

        Ditto for calling men males.

        1. Fuck that bullshit. They intentionally split sex and gender, and then act like they are being oppressed when someone uses the correct term.

          I take it you’re a fan of “cis”? Cause that’s the alternative.

          1. I take it you’re a fan of “cis”? Cause that’s the alternative.

            No idea what you are talking about. Never heard of cis nor do i care about it.

            All I know is teens in video game chats obsessively use “female” when talking about women and it is like someone is scrapping their fingers across a chalk board.

            Woman and man is more descriptive and humanizing then female and male. Why the fuck would you want to be less descriptive? Why would you want to dehumanize a description of humans?

            1. No idea what you are talking about. Never heard of cis nor do i care about it.

              So you have no idea what I’m referring to, but you know I’m wrong?

              Google sex vs gender and get back to me. Then you’ll see the double blind vocabulary trap they’ve set up.

              I’m honestly surprised you’re unfamiliar, considering that your last two paragraphs look like the same stupid screed I see feminists posting ad-nauseum.

              Odd how it only became an issue when professionally aggrieved needed a new example of “rampant sexism”, since people have been grouping humans that way since the word was invented.

              An example for your edification:

              “Women need to pay for their own birth control”.

              – “You’re erasing and othering women who have penises”

              “Fine then, females need to pay for their own birth control.”

              – “Sexist pig. You’re probably and MRA rapist with a small dick”

              and scene.

              1. I am not a feminist.

                Not an aggrieved either.

                I am sure you have seen me here before as i am sure Pro has.

                Pretty sure you and him would describe me as a standard libertarian and a standard straight man who thinks the jezz crowd is generally full of shit.

                Still I agree with this particular Jezz about her particular point that women should be called women and not females.

                If she likes New York style pizza like I like New York style pizza does that mean i am an aggrieved feminist like she is?

                What if we both like deep dish?

    2. Guys who call all the time are the worst, I bet.

    3. I’m trying to think what will happen when 2Chilly posts a joke about killing all liberals or government officials. We’ll probably all be arraigned for treason.

    4. So as far as I can tell, she’s upset that some dude wanted to bang her. Do I have it right?

      1. So as far as I can tell, she’s upset that some dude wanted to bang her. Do I have it right?

        It’s a Jezebel article–you don’t even have to click the link to know your odds are pretty good that that will be a fitting synopsis.

    5. And yet they all think owning a real gun which could actually deter rape and sexual assault is icky.

    6. Yeah, the killing men stuff IS OBVIOUSLY A JOKE.

      Obviously, since the average man could throttle her to death with very little effort.

    1. That was pretty awesome.

  44. Re my link about cops being called to a Civil War re-enactment in a public school –

    At Valley Catholic High School in Oregon, Phil McQueen is retiring. He taught history and does re-enactments.

    “Karina Jaroch carefully adds gun powder to her musket after learning how to do it safely.”

    http://photos.oregonlive.com/b…..ent_3.html

    And here are some students firing their muskets –

    http://photos.oregonlive.com/b…..ent_2.html

    1. The teacher tipped off the police in advance and the students fired blanks, but still…

      http://www.oregonlive.com/beav….._fire.html

  45. NBA legend Michael Jordan says that he considered himself a racist when he was a teenager and was “against all white people.

    1. Well, I guess we know who the NBA won’t allow to buy the Clippers, then.

      1. That’s all settled. It’s Oprah. She gave us a president to heal the racial rift, now she will intervene directly to heal the NBA.

    1. I love how the losers at the Guardian call them “the top ten skeptic arguments”, while the author Dr Spencer calls them distractions from the real skeptical arguments debunking the cult of CAGW’s superstitions.

      It’s like picking CS Lewis’s critique of stupid arguments in favor of the existence of a deity and claiming that you have just proved that atheism is correct.

      Then again, it *IS* the Guardian. They employ Nuticelli after all, and he makes Matt Yglesias look smarter than a bag of hammers.

      1. I get politicians spouting this crap, lefties accepting it, etc., but what I don’t get is a decent number of scientists being willing to toss the scientific method into the shitter in favor of politics.

        1. I’ll be honest, I know a few scientists and engineers who believe ridiculous religious shit.without proof. Combine that general human tendency.toward magical thinking with a lust for.power and recognition, and it’s not a surprise. There are sadly few scientists who are.truly dispassionate and objective judges of facts when things like politics and emotion enter the situation.

          1. You know, I’m perfectly okay with scientists being religious, so long as it doesn’t interfere with their integrity as scientists. Ditto, for that matter, scientists being political.

            1. It is hard for me to justify this but I can see your point. If religion.is.just a nice.story to.you, the underpinnings of which (faith) can be set aside when thinking scientifically about the.universe in the.performance.of a.job, is it really a worldview? Likewise if one can set aside a.conviction that the universe.can be.understood through rational thought and experimentation, how to.reconcile it with religious belief without evidence?

              I.myself have walked away from what would have been a.life.of.belief if I had followed.my family’s world view, and so it is hard for.me to.see how.others avoid.the.conclusion that truly dispassionate science and religion are somewhat incompatible.

              1. Leaving aside the metaphysics of it all, for most people, religion is about life on Earth–moral code, cultural norms, that sort of thing. Everyone has that, regardless of whether they’re religious or not. And, of course, while we want scientists to be objective, unbiased, etc., we don’t want them to be amoral. If they derive morality from religion, that’s likely okay, so long as their norms aren’t too out of whack. Apocalyptic beliefs aside, of course.

            2. It’s just that human nature makes it so hard to separate them. Hell, often we as libertarians or minarchists or anarchists claim that politicians cannot.be trusted.with.power over.others. why should we.trust scientists with politics.or religionists with science?

        2. decent number of scientists being willing to toss the scientific method into the shitter in favor of politics.

          Follow the money.

    2. Well, I’m convinced.

  46. If you want to understand Bill Clinton’s attraction to Monica, take a look at his mother when she was younger.

    1. Do they not have recall in Ontario, then?

      1. No, they don’t.

        1. However, I believe it is much easier for provincial governments to remove lower lever politicians from office.

          1. “lower level”

        2. Also:

          Nineteen states, or 38% of all states, allow for the recall of elected state officials.
          Thirty-four states, or 68% of all states, allow for the recall of elected local officials. This includes Florida.
          Fourteen states, or 28% of all states, do not provide for recall of any elected officials.

          It looks like recall is not really all that common here either.

    2. Trust is not the first thing anyone should give Mayor Ford. He has demanded it almost as often as he has betrayed it. He has a record of taking liberties with the truth, or denying it outright, and only changing his tune once irrefutable contrary evidence is presented.

      Wow, who knew that Canadian newspapers were such havens of racist, elitist thought and so insistent on the old white male notion of accountability?

      1. Those notions suddenly pop up when a conservative is around. Not so much when it’s a liberal.

    3. We lost Rob Ford.

      Have you checked under the couch cushions? Possibly he fell behind the dresser?

      1. Seriously, he’d have to be difficult to lose. Maybe he sank into a snow drift.

  47. I fucked up this.evening. I came home and cracked a beer, and.now.I’m sitting on the deck, watching everyone fly.overhead.on a beautiful evening and now.I can’t go.up myself.

  48. About the latest bullshit ecig story

    According to the article, e-cigarettes are generally safer than analogs but “the study found similar amounts of formaldehyde in tobacco cigarettes, e-cigarettes and medicinal inhalers–although the amount of formaldehyde found in the 12 different brands of e-cigarettes ranged from 3.2 micrograms per 150 puffs (comparable to the levels from the nicotine inhaler) to 56.1 micrograms per 150 puffs.”

    I’m aware that formaldehyde is a carcinogen so I’m pretty concerned about this. But after doing some research, it doesn’t seem that formaldehyde is one of the MAIN carcinogens in cigarettes, and that the air we breath contains formaldehyde anyway. For example, according to this article,

    [Evaluation of total exposure to benz… [Epidemiol Prev. 2005 Sep-Dec] – PubMed – NCBI

    “Outdoor concentrations (of formaldehyde) vary from 7 to 153 microg/m3,” and “formaldehyde concentrations in public buildings and offices vary from 3 to 30 microg/m3.”

    In addition, this article:

    Harpocrates Speaks: Demystifying Vaccine Ingredients – Formaldehyde

    states that “Health Canada lists a ‘No Observable Adverse Effect Level; NOAEL for indoor air concentrations of formaldehyde of 615 ?g/m3”

    1. I think if we push the “e-cigs are safer than cigarettes” thing too much it will come back to bite us, because the moment any serious health risks, no matter how minute, are linked to e-cig use, the banners will all proclaim themselves and their precautionary principle completely vindicated and their paternalistic bans justified.

      The point should be that it doesn’t matter if e-cigs are safer than conventional cigarettes. I declare an inalienable right to take that risk and poison myself in the manner of my choosing.

      1. They’re trying to ban them indoors and out. And they will. The lies and distortions worked with second-hand smoke, and they will work here as well.

        Might as well tell the truth.

        1. What I find most disturbing is how many people will agree that the “public health” “rationale” for banning cigarettes doesn’t actually apply to e-cigs, but still just shrug their shoulders or declare they don’t care when it comes to the bans. Just the quickfire mental associations of “vaping = sort of like smoking, smokers = icky disgusting people, therefore vapers deserve whatever they get” immediately overrides any sort of rational decision-making, and it infuriates me. And I don’t even vape (regularly)!

  49. Need lawyer advice.

    So this guy owns a house, and he was going to rent it to my girlfriend. He said last week she could have it, and so on Saturday we looked it over and decided to go for it. So I called him today to ask for the lease, and he said he’d gotten an offer to sell, which he might do instead of renting it.

    Did we make a verbal contract last week?

    1. Ha ha! No.

      1. Yeah I told her that, but she’s got some kind of TV/movie bullshit in her head thinking we can go after the guy.

        1. It is all a lie!!

          Either she is talking about this as a subtle hint that she does not want to live with you or it is a hint that she wants to move in with you.

          One of those….

          1. Nah I mean I’m pissed too because the place is just what we need, but I know that the dude is going to sell it if he gets a good offer instead of renting it. She’s having a hard time accepting that shit doesn’t go her way all the time.

    2. Landlords are bad enough to deal with. Do you really want to use litigation to force this guy to rent to you? That’s a terrible idea.

      1. I know it is, it’s her idea, not mine.

  50. http://www.nj.com/mercer/index…..ffice.html

    Top. Men.

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