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A.M. Links: Governments Responsible For 87 Percent of Internet Spying, 40,000 Voters Registered in Both Virginia and Maryland, Scientists Mull Oldest Light in the Universe

Ed Krayewski | 4.24.2014 9:00 AM

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  • According to a report from Verizon, governments around the world account for 87 percent of all Internet spying.

  • An investigation by the Virginia Voter Alliance found that forty thousand voters are registered in both Virginia and Maryland.
  • Stricter regulations on e-cigarettes were proposed by the the Food and Drug Administration, which also recommended it regulate cigars, pipe tobacco, nicotine gels, water pipe tobacco, and hookahs.
  • Three U.S. doctors were killed in Kabul after a security guard opened fire at a hospital.
  • The Palestinian groups Hamas and Fatah have made a deal to form a national unity government.
  • The oldest light observed in the universe is reshaping how scientists think about the universe's early history.

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NEXT: Bill Would Ban Connecticut Childcare Providers From Serving Whole Milk

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    According to a report from Verizon, governments around the world account for 87 percent of all Internet spying.

    The other 13 precent? My ex.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Badumtiss.

      I'm actually surprised it's only 87%.

      And good morning you wonderful ladies and gentlemen.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      The other 13 precent? My ex.

      Your ex is a network admin?

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello.

      1. The DerpRider   11 years ago

        Been traveling this week, so a late answer to your hockey stick question. Waddell had a place next to my in-laws on a lake in Michigan.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Ah.

      2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Imposter! Orange Link Imposter!

    4. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      The other 13% is private contractors doing it on behalf of governments.

    5. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      Pfft. AS if we can trust the word of Verizon.

    6. kinnath   11 years ago

      The Turtle Moves!

    7. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

      The other 13 percent is alien governments. The reptile men are watching.

  2. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    The oldest light observed in the universe is reshaping how scientists think about the universe's early history.

    Our ancestors didn't use CFLs, did they?

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Damn, I guess it was an obvious joke. I'll have to do better.

      1. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

        Just be lucky I wasn't also the first comment with it. That would have been humiliating.

      2. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

        I was talking about Canadian Football Leagues, but yours is pretty good too.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          +1.2 Kramer.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      Hey buddy, did you see a real brat lat?

    3. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      No reshaping. The science is settled. Who are these deniers. Put their backs against the wall. Scientific knowledge can't change.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The oldest light observed in the universe is reshaping how scientists think about the universe's early history.

    About how much better incandescent bulbs were.

  4. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

    "Three U.S. doctors were killed in Kabul after a security guard opened fire at a hospital."

    Fuck. That is all.

    1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      People who took oaths to do no harm, killed by scum who could never heal someone.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      Get the Fuck out. That is all.

      FTFY

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      If we restricted gun ownership to those people with the government imprimatur, this wouldn't have happened.

      [/sarcasm]

  5. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Your Government Owes You a Job
    The federal government can easily afford a job guarantee program, becoming our employer of last resort.

    Would jobs for all skyrocket wages and prices, spurring inflation? Such unfounded belief holds the jobless hostage to hysteria. The JG is an inflation stabilizer, easily compatible with additional precautions. Because non-JG employees could quit for a JG job, their bargaining power would increase. By the same token, businesses could hire JG-trained employees, so employers' negotiating power would increase as well. Thus, wages wouldn't spiral. Furthermore, guaranteed employment for low-income individuals would discipline the prices of goods and services they typically buy.

    Aside from the economic benefits, we deserve to participate in society as both producers and consumers. Participation is a premise for both collective enterprise and the self-determination Americans cherish. Even the best education and training programs cannot assure full employment. We need to change the economy, not people.

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      We need to change the economy, not people.

      This nonsense has been making the rounds on the liberal dipshit sites. I guess it must be the topic of the week on Journolist.

    2. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      You SF'd the link, though I might not want to read the whole thing if the excerpt is that dumb.

    3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Genius of economics and history.

    4. WTF   11 years ago

      SF'd the link.

      1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        http://www.thenation.com/artic.....es-you-job

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Who ARE those people in the threads?

          Wtf is going on?

        2. Michael   11 years ago

          Involuntary unemployment is barbaric.

          But involuntary employment is heaven on earth, comrade.

          1. Jerryskids   11 years ago

            Involuntary unemployment is barbaric.

            Given the fact that you can always opt to be self-employed, isn't involuntary unemployment self-abuse?

    5. gaijin   11 years ago

      Would jobs for all skyrocket wages and prices, spurring inflation?

      If the Treasury can count on the Fed to produce unlimited zeros on the plus side of the ledger, then why not? $3 trillion later and all the manipulated numbers say 'zero inflation'.

      /KeynesianClown

    6. wareagle   11 years ago

      we deserve to participate in society as both producers and consumers

      deserve got nothing to do with it. Is this serious or The Onion?

    7. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      This bastiat quote comes to mind:

      " Whence does [the State] draw those resources that it is urged to dispense by way of benefits to individuals? Is it not from the individuals themselves? How, then, can these resources be increased by passing through the hands of a parasitic and voracious intermediary?"

      1. wwhorton   11 years ago

        Well, through magic of course.

        /John Maynard Keynes

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          Now you see it, now you don't?

          1. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

            MULTIPLIER!!!!!

            /Pelosi

            1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

              I'll bet you one orphan worker that the multiplier is way less than 1.0, and is likely closer to 0.

      2. Atanarjuat   11 years ago

        No, those resources come from corporations, which aren't people, and will continue to lay golden eggs forever.

      3. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

        Only the rich pay taxes. And they'll be fine.

    8. RBS   11 years ago

      guaranteed employment for low-income individuals would discipline the prices of goods and services they typically buy.

      What?

      1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

        Government would dress up in leather and smash the shit out of things.

        That's what I get from that sentence, but I'm pretty sure it makes more sense than whatever the original was meant to intend.

    9. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Would jobs for all skyrocket wages and prices, spurring inflation?

      When did "skyrocket" become a transitive verb?

      1. 110 Lean   11 years ago

        During an afternoon delight.

        1. Tonio   11 years ago

          I still shudder when I think about that song.

    10. LynchPin1477   11 years ago

      guaranteed employment for low-income individuals would discipline the prices of goods and services they typically buy

      That seems completely ass-backwards...

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Because it is

      2. wwhorton   11 years ago

        I keep feeling like there's some country that tried that before. Like one or two large countries, maybe one in Asia and one sort of in Asia and Europe, and like a couple smaller ones in Latin America. I seem to remember it not quite working out so well.

        1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

          And when you look at night time satellite images of the area adjacent to Japan, there is is weird dark zone. I wonder what the heck that is.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Gjoria's lair?

            1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

              *Gojira

        2. Francisco d'Anconia   11 years ago

          Wrong Top Men ran those.

      3. gaijin   11 years ago

        guaranteed employment for low-income individuals would discipline the prices of goods and services they typically buy

        Of course it would. Guaranteed Student Loans have demonstrated this in the real world of higher education tuition.

    11. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The JG is an inflation stabilizer, easily compatible with additional precautions. Because non-JG employees could quit for a JG job, their bargaining power would increase. By the same token, businesses could hire JG-trained employees, so employers' negotiating power would increase as well.

      What happens when the JG people show up at the job and work like shit?

      1. AdamJ   11 years ago

        And who decides where to put these resources? Top men! They could never be swayed by corporations or their own well-being. They will only have the economy's
        Best interest in mind, which if course they are an expert at. No unintended consequences!

    12. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      He links to Myserson late in the article, specifically this steaming pile of dogshit.

      Ever noticed how much landlords blow? They don't really do anything to earn their money. They just claim ownership of buildings and charge people who actually work for a living the majority of our incomes for the privilege of staying in boxes that these owners often didn't build and rarely if ever improve.

      1. wwhorton   11 years ago

        Yeah, how dare they charge people a fee to use their property!?

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        It's hard to believe Myerson is this fucking stupid.

        The most mainstream way of flipping the script is a simple land-value tax. By targeting wealthy real estate owners and their free rides, we can fight inequality and poverty directly, make disastrous asset price bubbles impossible and curb Wall Street's hideous bloat. There are cooler ideas out there, too: Municipalities themselves can be big-time landowners, and groups can even create large-scale community land trusts so that the land is held in common. In any case, we have to stop letting rich people pretend they privately own what nature provided everyone.

        1. gaijin   11 years ago

          The most mainstream way of flipping the script is a simple land-value tax.

          uh, property tax? Never been tried, why not!

          1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

            uh, property tax theft ? Never been tried, why not!

            1. gaijin   11 years ago

              +1 logical conclusion

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          "By targeting wealthy real estate owners and their free rides..."

          My father worked all his life like a fucking dog - we rarely saw him except when he took me to soccer practice or go see various sports matches - to buy his house and own four properties which currently serve as his pension. Good thing because the Canadian government is clawing back his OAS because, in a nut shell, he succeeded in life.

          Everyone can go fuck themselves - especially Myerson. If I was ever to walk into this ignorant bum I would lace into him.

        3. Ted S.   11 years ago

          It's hard to believe Myerson is this fucking stupid.

          No it's not.

        4. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

          In any case, we have to stop letting rich people pretend they privately own what nature provided everyone.

          Apartment buildings and houses used to grow like weeds before those damn Kochs came along.

      3. Brett L   11 years ago

        Uh... get the fuck out of rent controlled shitboxes, dumbass. In places where rent prices float freely, owners often do regular improvements to attract higher rents. Your dumbass socialism is what keeps owners who have to pay market prices on improvements, but charge sub-market prices for the space from improving and maintaining their buildings, shit-bird.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          We just need price controls on contractors who do work on rent-control buildings. That'll work.

      4. WTF   11 years ago

        They just claim ownership of buildings...

        Oh, okay, I didn't realize that's all I had to do to become a real estate mogul. No more of this working and investing to be able to purchase nonsense.

        1. PD Scott   11 years ago

          Make your own flag, walk into a building and declare "I claim this building in the name of (insert your name here). Long live (insert your name here)!"

          Should totally work.

      5. Emmerson Biggins   11 years ago

        It's awesome how if you make the city the only landlord, landlords will magically not blow anymore.

    13. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      I've heard sh-- like this spouted by Indian kids born after the early 90s. Knuckleheads have no f-ing clue how life under socialism was.

      Preserving liberty is going to be an eternal struggle because younger generations don't seem to learn their lessons from history and keep wanting to repeat mistakes of the past.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Because nobody is teaching them the failures of socialism and communism. It's fine to teach the failures of the republican experiments and the West, but it should be coupled with the massive failures of the Marxist experiments.

      2. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        Kids spend enormous amounts of their formative years undergoing socialist operant conditioning and immersed in it's propaganda.

      3. Tonio   11 years ago

        Are the schools in India as infested with socialists as are US public schools?

    14. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

      Would jobs for all skyrocket wages and prices, spurring inflation? Such unfounded belief holds the jobless hostage to hysteria.

      "Unfounded belief," eh? I guess the last 40 years of cumulative CPI growth in conjunction with an increased workforce was just a fever dream.

      Not that more people working is bad--but these dummies seem to believe that .gov can magic jobs out of thin air at middle class income levels without economic consequences. They're ignorant of the fact that FDR's jobs programs paid people about $6000 a year, inflation-adjusted, not the current median wage.

    15. MJGreen   11 years ago

      By the same token, businesses could hire JG-trained employees

      Yes, government-trained employees who needed the state to give them work. Private employers would kill each other for the opportunity to hire such folks.

      This writer is fucking insane.

      1. Root Boy   11 years ago

        It's all part of the guaranteed income movement, just a different form.

        Man, the recession (caused by crony banks and deadbeat borrows and continued by Obama policies) has really caused the commie cockroaches to come out into the light.

        I know even conservatives throw around those ideas of just giving people a check instead of all the stupid welfare and housing programs - I agree that would save money, but Dems will always want to have guaranteed income along with WIC, SNAP, HHS, MC, etc which is well on it's way to making us a nation of serfs. It's going from Free Shit Army to Free Shit Nation.

  6. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    Uber has now rolled out in Sydney and unsurprisingly the taxi industry is scrabbling to crush it. Punters on the other hand are crying hallelujah

    1. BigT   11 years ago

      France is plotting to take Uber's car-tracking tech and hand it over to taxis

      Under pressure from traditional cab drivers in the country, a new law was introduced that required the likes of Uber, LeCab and SnapCar to wait 15 minutes before picking people up, giving normal cabs a better shot at landing the business. It didn't survive very long, not that it did much to calm some old-school cabbies anyway. Now, a new report, due to be presented to the French Prime Minister today, suggests disarming the newer services of one of their greatest weapons, and turning it over to regular taxis.

    2. Raven Nation   11 years ago

      Wow, is the SMH pro-market or is Pascoe an outlier?

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        He's one of the token grown-ups there to trick non-progs into buying it.

  7. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    An investigation by the Virginia Voter Alliance found that forty thousand voters are registered in both Virginian and Maryland.

    Yet both states suck for different reasons.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      An investigation by the Virginia Voter Alliance found that forty thousand voters are registered in both Virginian and Maryland.

      They all voted vor Sarvis and prevented Cuccinelli from winning.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        Good one, but the preferred phrasing is that Sarvis "stole votes".

  8. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

    "An investigation by the Virginia Voter Alliance found that forty thousand voters are registered in both Virginian and Maryland."

    TEATHUGLICAN VOTE SUPPRESSION!!!!!1!1!1eleventy

    1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

      This came up yesterday and I think further down in the story was the report that maybe 120 people had voted in both states but not necessarily at the same election.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Seriously, if you moved from one state to another, how would you go getting yourself removed from your previous location's voter rolls?

        1. wwhorton   11 years ago

          My wife volunteered to be an observer at the most recent local elections where we are in Maryland. She was horrified. It's a bunch of old ladies eating sandwiches and fiddling with index cards while one or two idealistic managers (also volunteers) try to keep the thing from being a complete farce. Boxes (and I mean multiple large boxes) of votes get lost, or get stuck in a corner unsealed. In our ward, the local Democrat's lawyer actually went door-to-door and threatened residents of public housing with the loss of their homes, then walked individuals into the polling station and stood behind them while they voted. No shit. And the city's official poll people not only didn't do anything but got real defensive when my wife complained.

          I used to be one of those people who really vociferously argued about how much voting matters. Now, not so much. Not sure if I'll be voting in the next election, to be honest.

          1. Tonio   11 years ago

            Wow, that is totally fucked up. FWIW, I've never seen that in Virginia, but there isn't a lot of public housing in my district.

      2. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        This came up yesterday and I think further down in the story was the report that maybe 120 people had voted in both states but not necessarily at the same election.

        And how does anyone have this information?

        1. Tonio   11 years ago

          Voter rolls are public info. Not who you voted for, but who voted.

  9. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Man named Edward Cocaine arrested for drug possession

    "My last name is Cocaine," the man said proudly at the podium, it transpiring that it was indeed his legal name as stated on his driver's license.

    "You know, I thought I'd seen it all," (Judge) Hurley laughed. "How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?"

    "Just about every time I get pulled over," Cocaine replied.

    Funnily enough Cocaine was actually arrested for illegal possession of Xanax.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      "Just about every time I get pulled over," Cocaine replied.

      He don't lie, he don't lie, he don't lie...

      1. db   11 years ago

        *slow clap(ton)*

        1. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

          *kowtows to db*

        2. gaijin   11 years ago

          very nice!

          1. db   11 years ago

            Hey, I liked yours
            better, it was too good to pass up.

  10. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    An investigation by the Virginia Voter Alliance found that forty thousand voters are registered in both Virginian and Maryland.

    Both states are named after chicks so let's just merge them.

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      WINGNUT MEME! TALK RADIO! ARRGH!

    2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      As long as we can keep the MD flag.

      1. wwhorton   11 years ago

        Shit, flag's only good thing about this damn state. That and J-O Seasoning.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          J-O? Is that some Old Bay ripoff?

        2. Atanarjuat   11 years ago

          J-O Seasoning

          Ew.

          /teenage girl

    3. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      Throw the Carolina's and Georgia into the mix too.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Throw the Carolina's what into the mix?

        1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

          Carolina's autocorrecting a$$?

      2. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        They're both named after men related to the chicks, so it would be an incestuous orgy. NTTAWWT between consenting adults I suppose

    4. LynchPin1477   11 years ago

      Sounds hot

    5. Tonio   11 years ago

      Both states are named after chicks so let's just merge them.

      Sounds suspiciously like gay marriage to me.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        Doesn't everything?

  11. Andrew S.   11 years ago

    Stricter regulations on e-cigarettes were proposed by the the Food and Drug Administration, which also recommended it regulate cigars, pipe tobacco, nicotine gels, water pipe tobacco, and hookahs.

    ----

    Remember in Dennis Leary's No Cure for Cancer, where he joked that in the future, it would only be legal to smoke in your bedroom, under the covers, with the lights out? Yeah.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      It's not just here; they're banning e-cigs in Ireland, too.

      Apparently the Irish won't revolt over that the way they would over bans on drinking. :-p

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Ah, there you are. Thought you were in a corner crying.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          Wednesday is the day I stop by my elderly parents' place to make dinner for them, so I left immediately after the game finished. I didn't bother to visit H&R last night, since it was only the Independents thread, and the computer isn't in the same room as my TV so I don't watch TI.

          I've been telling you ever since the first leg against Arsenhole that I've been worried.

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        In hospitals.

  12. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Retired nurse sues for $275,000 in Oregon pet duck attack

    Cynthia Ruddell, 62, of Washougal, Washington, was on her mother's property in Estacada, Oregon, about 25 miles southeast of Portland, when a neighbor's duck attacked her without provocation, according to the suit filed in Oregon state court last Friday.

    In her attempt to run away from the agitated waterfowl, Ruddell fell to the ground, breaking her right wrist and spraining an elbow and shoulder, the suit claims. The incident occurred in May of 2012.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      pet duck attack

      Nice band name.

    2. RBS   11 years ago

      Maybe she should have learned how to not run like a 2 year old.

    3. RBS   11 years ago

      attacked her without provocation

      How could anyone possibly know what was running through that duck's tiny brain?

    4. wwhorton   11 years ago

      If you can't handle a duck attack I think you don't get to retain your personhood. In fact, I think you should have to renounce your humanity and give it to the duck. Then watch in shame as the duck drives off in your car.

      1. RBS   11 years ago

        I'd take my son to watch that movie.

      2. Brett L   11 years ago

        Didn't sloopy claim that you don't know how bad it can be until you've been savaged by a mallard protecting eggs? I distinctly remember a conversation like that.

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          He did indeed. He claimed it had been defeated, decapitated, and now served as an awful warning to other who would challenge him

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          Aw c'mon, I had a muscovy sitting on 18 eggs in my attic. It had pecked thru the stucco and made itself at home in the far corner where I had to crawl on my stomach to get to it. It wasn't happy when I shoved its feathery butt back out the hole it made, but it wasn't gouging out my eyeballs either.

          1. cavalier973   11 years ago

            Those things are ugly and shouldn't be allowed to exist.

        3. Protagoronus   11 years ago

          I got in a kayak-based fight with a Canadian goose dive-bomber after getting too close to its nest. Thing came at my head twice and the move that saved me was to lean all the way back and nail it with the paddle at the last second, sending it into the water.

          1. Bones   11 years ago

            Tools and thumbs for the motherfucking win.

  13. Ted S.   11 years ago

    Remember that story from a few months ago I posted for Jesse about the Icelandic tunnel builders who had to strip to the waist? Well, that tunnel is back in the news:

    A minor panic ensued this morning when an Icelandic laundry washed some dynamite.

    A potentially dangerous situation arose a short while ago when explosives intended for blasting North Iceland's new Va?lahei?arg?ng road tunnel ended up at the Grand ?vottur laundry in Akureyri for washing, DV.is reports.

    (The server squirrels had better not choke on that Icelandic word!)

  14. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    George Clooney ans Steve Wynn had a smackdown and no-one made book?

    http://gawker.com/george-cloon.....1566927838

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Aw, Georgey was saddy, waddy because his fwend was insulted.

      Grow up.

      And he is an asshole for fricken lying to an entire country.

      1. wwhorton   11 years ago

        He's not just an asshole, he's an evil, conniving fucking villain and he should spend the rest of his life in solitary. Truth is an absolute defense against charges of slander.

    2. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      Wynn is an ungrateful shit. His stock has gone from $40 to $210 with Obama policies in place.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Oh shut the fuck up

      2. Jordan   11 years ago

        It's almost like some people have these things called principals. I know that's a difficult concept for you progressives.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

          He didn't want his maids and janitors to get to buy Obamacare.

          Big Guy he is.

          1. Jordan   11 years ago

            Whereas you, Clooney, and Obama want to sic the IRS on people who don't buy insurance. Nothing assholish about that.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      "Clooney's fun to be with when he's sober," Wynn added. "If you have a chance to drink with him, you want to get there early, and don't stay late."

      Wynn is better at this game than Clooney.

    4. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

      I love how Obama is supposedly Clooney's "long-time friend."

      Bullshit, George--you hadn't even heard of him before the media started sucking him off as a "rock star" before the 2004 convention. I realize the Hollywood-Democrat Media Industrial Complex is incestuous to the core, but let's not pretend you even gave a shit about this guy before about 2006 or so.

  15. SugarFree   11 years ago

    Our favorite turd has floated back up into the bowl.

    Of course Tulpa The Cowardly Dipshit would have to come roaring back to get a lick at that sweet, sweet cop boot. Can you spot his other handles on the thread?

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      Jesus, he's pathetic.

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      I actually read that story and thought to myself "this is so egregious, even Tulpa wouldn't defend this". I guess I'm a bit of a dreamer that way.

    3. Warty   11 years ago

      Look at that, he showed up when the place was dead. What a shock. And he still got a fair amount of abuse, which is hilarious.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        So in addition to everything else, Tulpa corpse-fucks dead threads to try to get in the last word. Even more pathetic than I realized.

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          Now come on, you don't know the whole story. There was a history of the dead thread asking for it twice in five years, and they can be dangerous to LEO, so he had to corpse-fuck it

        2. Warty   11 years ago

          Of all the pitiful things about Tulpa, the worst and funniest is his pathological need to be the smartest guy in the room. If he has to be the only guy in the room to achieve that, so be it.

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            ^ Bullseye, my muscley muse. ^

      2. SugarFree   11 years ago

        And showed up on just the right article to strut out his maximum derp. Which means he's still reading the articles, his face pressed up against the glass of the window of our bright and clean candy shop, wishing he could come in with the rich kids and enjoy himself--but then slinking back to sleep in the gutter with the rest of the urchin scum.

        I'm laughing so hard I think I pulled something.

        1. JW   11 years ago

          He's our own Bizarro Chauncy Gardner, dispatching statements that, in his own mind, are crumbs of brilliance from his steel-trap mind, while everyone around him marvels at what a moronic dunce that he is.

      3. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

        Cheaper than paying the dominatrix to put on a cop costume and beat him with a dildo-truncheon.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          You know this from experience, I presume?

    4. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      I thought this was going to link to his sockpuppet upthread. Didn't know he showed up under his own name later.

      We could have a 1080p video, including the 5 minutes before and after the scene, which shows a cop walking up to somebody from behind, putting a gun to the back of their head, and shooting, and that fucktard would still find a way to justify it.

    5. RBS   11 years ago

      He's still going with the "selective editing" thing I see.

    6. Tejicano   11 years ago

      Sometimes I wonder if we have the stupidest trolls on the internet or the most inadvertently hilarious ones.

      1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

        Por que no los dos?

  16. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

    An investigation by the Virginia Voter Alliance found that forty thousand voters are registered in both Virginian and Maryland.

    Voter ID still likely won't be able to solve a problem iof duplicated registrations.

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      But it would solve the problem of people voting for someone who now lives out of state.

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      No, but it would ratchet up the paper trail and make prosecution easier when they are inevitably caught. Now they can claim that it wasn't actually them voting, that someone impersonated them and that they are shocked, shocked that this happened.

  17. Rich   11 years ago

    "Maybe we need to? allow some new physics in there. ... Or maybe it's something none of us have thought of yet."

    Please state that in the form of a testable hypothesis.

    1. Zeb   11 years ago

      There are other parts to the scientific method. They came up with a hypothesis about the polarization of the CMB, found results that differed from what was predicted. Now the theorists come up with new ideas and make more predictions.

  18. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Welcome to the Paradise of the Real
    How to refute progressive fantasies ? or, a red-pill economics

    The physical economy ? the world of actual goods and services ? looks radically different from the symbolic economy. Measured by practically any physical metric, from the quality of the food we eat to the health care we receive to the cars we drive and the houses we live in, Americans are not only wildly rich, but radically richer than we were 30 years ago, to say nothing of 50 or 75 years ago. And so is much of the rest of the world. That such progress is largely invisible to us is part of the genius of capitalism ? and it is intricately bound up with why, under the system based on selfishness, avarice, and greed, we do such a remarkably good job taking care of one another, while systems based on sharing and common property turn into miserable, hungry prison camps.

    rest of the article pretty much reads like a re-interp of Bastiat

    1. JW   11 years ago

      I think "howling moonbat" is my favorite term to describe your typical leftist: boorishly arrogant and chronically illiterate in how the world actually works, but determined to run all of our lives anyway.

  19. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    Supreme Court voids $3.4M payment for child porn victim

    http://nypost.com/2014/04/23/s.....rn-victim/

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      Are you trolling for Plopper?

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Trolling For Plopper is the title of the Ke$ha album released after she drowns in bum spunk.

        1. db   11 years ago

          It's hard to know exactly.what you.mean by "Bum spunk" in this context, but all possible connotations are.foul beyond measure.

          1. Tonio   11 years ago

            Aren't you a bit old to play the ingenue, db?

        2. RBS   11 years ago

          $park? approves.

        3. WTF   11 years ago

          That made me laugh.

  20. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Vice President Rand Paul?

    Assuming Paul loses (the primary - LH), the Libertarian Party will have an easier task than usual: It will be able to concentrate its organizing among the people who voted for Paul in the primaries. That could easily amount to enough voters to deny Republicans a victory in the general election. (In other words, the libertarian candidate in this situation would be Ralph Nader in reverse.)

    The winning Republican nominee would need Paul to campaign actively for him to prevent this scenario. But why wouldn't Paul just go home to Kentucky to campaign for his own re-election? His Senate seat will be up in 2016.

    Paul would then be the unusual politician who could actually secure some voters as the vice presidential nominee.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      There's no way in hell I'd vote for a ticket with Vice President Paul, because there's no way in the hell the presidential candidate would be anything resembling a libertarian. Fuck off, GOP slavers.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        I can't recall anyone putting a dynamic opponent under them. Kennedy, in fact, was the last one and look where that got him. No, you want assassin insurance, not assassin bait.

      2. carol   11 years ago

        I can't see Paul accepting the VP slot if the presidential nominee is some schmuck. But then I think Paul will be the nominee.

    2. Drake   11 years ago

      It would depend on who is on the top of the ticket.

      1. Atanarjuat   11 years ago

        Ted Cruz. He's the mainstream Republican's answer to Rand Paul.

        1. Drake   11 years ago

          He certainly isn't a mainstream Republican. I can tell because I often agree with him.

        2. seguin   11 years ago

          AFAIK, he's the best of the rest.

  21. Jordan   11 years ago

    Today I learned that Willie Nelson holds a 4th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Pothead power, yo.

  22. Rich   11 years ago

    Might have to wait for PM Links to find out which Reasonoid this is.

    Oh, wait -- he's in a *Tesla*. Never mind.

    1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

      Not necessarily. A Reasonoid wouldn't risk crashing the muscle car, but a Tesla is expendable

  23. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Sutter County Sikh Told He Can't Serve On Jury With Ceremonial Knife

    Singh, who is Sikh carries a dagger, known as a kirpan, an important part of the religion he says that must not be removed.

    "It's a very important article of our faith, put it that way," he said. "We have five articles of faith in fact, and this is one of them."

    But he's been told his jury duty scheduled for next week will require him to show up without the kirpan. State law prohibits weapons of any kind in courthouses."

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      Awesome, you get out of jury duty and you get a fat check from the state government!

    2. Florida Man   11 years ago

      Simple solution: stop disarming peaceable citizens.

    3. hamilton   11 years ago

      It is actually true that Sikhs must carry a kirpan, but I think a lot of them have found suitably token ones, like those cocktail toothpick thingys.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Zero tolerance, Biotch! "Goes to mindset, Your Honor."

    4. seguin   11 years ago

      Government lesson: If you have principles, you're fucked.

    5. Agammamon   11 years ago

      State law prohibits weapons of any kind in courthouses.

      Just another example of bias in reporting.

      State law *doesn't prohibit weapons in the courthouse. It prohibits weapons in the courthouse that are not in the possession of *agents of the state* - for who it is perfectly legal to possess a weapon inside the courthouse.

  24. Warty   11 years ago

    Proof that anyone who opposes the government is a racist, especially Rand Paul.

    "I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro," he said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, "and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids ? and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch ? they didn't have nothing to do. They didn't have nothing for their kids to do. They didn't have nothing for their young girls to do.

    Continue reading the main story
    "And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?" he asked. "They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I've often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn't get no more freedom. They got less freedom."

    A spokesman for Mr. Paul, informed of Mr. Bundy's remarks, said the senator was not available for immediate comment.

    1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      It is the perfect comment for H&R fodder.

      It has Big Gov, race, and a nutty backstory.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

      2. Warty   11 years ago

        Fuck off, sockpuppet.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

          See, race doesn't drive my political philosophy. You Bundy types are consumed by it. It started with busing and integration, then the sad development of affirmative action sent you over the edge.

          1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

            Now this is some impressive projection.

            1. tarran   11 years ago

              It's not projecting.

              Being non sentient, it has no clue what concepts are contained in the random string of characters it spews out. It merely knows that certain strings of characters are likely to evoke a response it desperately wants.

          2. Jordan   11 years ago

            So now you're reduced to racebaiting. Man, the evidence of your progressivism just keeps piling up.

            1. WTF   11 years ago

              Hey, he's only 8% non-libertarian. Just ask him.

              1. Citizen Nothing   11 years ago

                Any discussion with a progressive will eventually devolve into MasterChaition.

    2. eyeroller   11 years ago

      "And because they were basically on government subsidy"

      Sounds like a lot of farmers and ranchers I know.

    3. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

      A spokesman for Mr. Paul, informed of Mr. Bundy's remarks, said the senator was not available for immediate comment.

      Classic Kafkatrapping there by the left. Just because Bundy's a vicious racist doesn't mean the government wasn't way out of bounds in how it handled its case with him.

      Every day, these people demonstrate how important it is to be armed when the Day of the Rope finally arrives.

  25. Brett L   11 years ago

    Ezra Klein "vox-splains" that Cliven Bundy is a racist. Remember when people cared enough about the powers of the individuals in America to defend actual neo-Nazis' rights? But not the juiceboxers. They'll piss away everyone's rights for a win in today's news-cycle. Which is what I hate about the craven little fucks the most.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I'm too lazy (and tired) to look up Thomas More's quote to William Roper in A Man For All Seasons. I really need to copy it to a browser note that I can just insert as needed.

      1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

        Alice More: Arrest him!
        More: Why, what has he done?
        Margaret More: He's bad!
        More: There is no law against that.
        Will Roper: There is! God's law!
        More: Then God can arrest him.
        Alice: While you talk, he's gone!
        More: And go he should, if he was the Devil himself, until he broke the law!
        Roper: So now you'd give the Devil benefit of law!
        More: Yes. What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?
        Roper: I'd cut down every law in England to do that!
        More: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country's planted thick with laws from coast to coast? man's laws, not God's? and if you cut them down?and you're just the man to do it?do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake.

  26. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

    Cliven Bundy demonstrates he is ready to be a GOP Senate candidate:

    "I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro," the rancher began as he described a "government house" in Las Vegas where he recalled that all the people who sat outside seemed to "have nothing to do."

    "And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?" he said, as quoted by the Times. "They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I've often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn't get no more freedom. They got less freedom."

    NY Times

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      Well, I'm glad to see that Warty, PB, and I are all not sockpuppets of each other.

      1. hamilton   11 years ago

        That is exactly what a sockpuppet would say.

        1. gaijin   11 years ago

          That is exactly what a sockpuppet would say.

          INdeed, timestamps say 09, 10 and 11...let's see you all post at the same time!

          1. Brett L   11 years ago

            Hold on, let me get three sessions going.

    2. wareagle   11 years ago

      the new Dem Party simply created a more acceptable form of slavery to replace the one championed by the old Dem Party.

      1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

        But over 90% of entitlements go to white people.

        Aren't white people the real slaves?

        1. WTF   11 years ago

          Don't lock eyes with 'em, don't do it. Puts 'em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.

          1. Tejicano   11 years ago

            The only response it ever deserves. Troll-free Thursday and all that.

            Keep the faith, bro!

            1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

              I am no troll. I just escaped the GOP plantation and Tead Red can't have that.

              1. WTF   11 years ago

                BUSHPIGS!!11!!!!CHRISTFAGS!!11!!!!

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          i shouldn't ask but, I wouldn't mind a citation for that assertion.

          http://bit.ly/1rotGBH

          Whites make up 65% of the population so I doubt it's as high as 90%.

          http://www.statisticbrain.com/welfare-statistics/

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            A new CBPP analysis of budget and "Census data, however, shows that more than 90 percent of the benefit dollars that entitlement and other mandatory programs[1] spend go to assist people who are elderly, seriously disabled, or members of working households ? not to able-bodied, working-age Americans who choose not to work."

            But you mangle it into being 'white.' You sure it was the GOP plantation you escaped and not the asylum?

            http://www.cbpp.org/cms/?fa=view&id=3677

    3. OldMexican   11 years ago

      Re: Peter Caca,

      Cliven Bundy demonstrates he is ready to be a GOP Senate candidate

      You mean like Harry "Negro Talk" Reid?

  27. db   11 years ago

    Man going on trial for murder requests to have four-inch-high tattoo reading "MURDER" removed from his neck.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Nah. Change it to a four-inch-high tattoo reading "REDRUM".

      1. db   11 years ago

        It actually almost reads that way, since.it appears in the.photo to.be a mirror.image. so that, whenever.this.guy looks.in the.mirror, his reflection yells "MURDER" at him.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          Note to self: Look at article before posting.

  28. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Dog testifies in court in French murder case

    During a recent preliminary hearing the judge called a nine-year-old Labrador named Tango to the witness stand in an attempt to confirm the allegations against his master's presumed killer, RTL radio reported.

    The judge ordered the suspect to threaten the canine with a bat, with the idea being that Tango's reactions could be used to identify or rule out the suspect. And in a nod to the scientific method of keeping tests fair, a second dog named Norman, of the same age and breed as Tango, was brought in to serve as the 'control group'.

    Perhaps not surprisingly the suspect's lawyer, Gregoire Lafarge, said the whole thing was totally absurd.

    1. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      Well, the SCOTUS thinks that a drug dog's cue is reasonable grounds for searching someone.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Yeah, because dogs won't react when threatened. Holy shit.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      And in a nod to the scientific method of keeping tests fair, a second dog named Norman, of the same age and breed as Tango, was brought in to serve as the 'control group'.

      This is exactly the kind of thinking you would expect from an over-educated idiot

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The Case of the Howling Dog

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      "Woof, woof, woof, woof. WOOF!"

      /lights cigarette.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Existential dog:

        "Woof, woof, woof, woof. WOOF?"

        /lights cigarette. Jacks off.

  29. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Would jobs for all skyrocket wages and prices, spurring inflation? Such unfounded belief holds the jobless hostage to hysteria. The JG is an inflation stabilizer, easily compatible with additional precautions.

    WTF?

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      "Nothing to see here! Move along! Pay no attention to the inconvenient facts!"

    2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Intentions are pure, thus if anything goes wrong it is because of the free market.

  30. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Super-vermin rats have become too smart to trap

    Smart 18-inch-long rats have astonished experts by becoming smart enough to avoid being snared in monster traps.

    They have discovered a way to steal the food out of the devices without setting them off.

    Pest controller Tony Margiocchi was horrified to see the wily rodents successfully dodging his killer bait.

    They are clever enough to avoid touching the trap's sensitive pressure plate, meaning they can take the food without having their necks snapped.

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      In another America, entrepreneurs would be beating down this guy's door with a better rat trap.

      1. Jordan   11 years ago

        Well, there's glue traps. Or cats and snakes.

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          Rats will eat cats. You need dogs for rats.

          1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

            A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my backyard, watching my two cats prowl around. A big fat squirrel came trotting along, heading towards the trees in the back. The cats just watched the furry bugger... and instead waited for some smaller game to come along - like mice or chipmunks.

            1. Brett L   11 years ago

              I hope the new calico is as merciless a predator of the bushy-tailed american tree rat as my previous cat was. Even if he did prefer to eat them under my bed at 2:00am.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      They're evolving to take over from the humans.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        FuturePlanet 2525: Rats vs. Roaches

  31. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Quinn Campaign Wonders: Black Republicans Like Jewish Nazis?

    Illinois Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn is in some hot water with the Jewish community after his campaign tweeted?and then quietly deleted?several messages urging backers to read an article comparing black Republican voters to Jews who collaborated with the Nazis.

    Chicago Sun Times readers were stunned last week to find that writer Neil Steinberg has penned a column comparing black supporters of Republican gubernatorial candidate Bruce Rauner to Jews who collaborated with the Nazis against their brethren.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      Well yeah, if the Nazis had been the party that had historically freed the Jews and fought for their civil rights. Other than that, spot on.

    2. lap83   11 years ago

      The most ridiculous thing about liberals favorite pastime of comparing Republicans to Nazis is the fact that they were quite supportive of Hitler at the time. History is totally subjective to them.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        "Far right" has a bit of a different meaning in Europe. But in the US sense, Nazis were anything but right wing. At least as far as domestic policy went, they were progressives. If Hitler hadn't been insane and obsessed and hadn't tried to take over all of Europe, American Progressives would have kept on thinking Nazis were great.

  32. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Soldier in battle to rid home of squatters, Florida sheriff's office says it can't do anything

    Ken Doll, Pasco County Sheriff's Office spokesperson told the station that the squatters have established residency in the home. The sheriff's office could not force the couple to leave without a court ordered formal eviction. That wasn't satisfactory to Mr. Sharkey who questioned, "Basically what you're telling me is just because they're in the house and they took up residence, they can live there. Okay, so I can go down the street and find an empty house and just kick in the door and start living there and that's my residence. I don't think that would work." He added, "I don't think I should have to pay hundreds of dollars and go through that aggravation?I work hard, long hours, and these people never had permission to live in my home. They should be thrown out." The Sharkeys are also concerned that if they do get the formal eviction, the squatters will damage their home.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Thankfully, while the cops couldn't get off their asses to do anything, other people did, and the squatters are running.

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      How about showing up with some shotguns and a couple of buddies and throwing them the fuck out of your house yourself.

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Because he's stationed in Afghanistan?

      2. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        I'm quite sure that would be in violation of the law, unlike breaking and entering and trespassing and failing to pay rent and destruction of property...

    3. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

      Do you really want sheriffs unilaterally deciding to forcibly remove people from their homes because some guy showed up and said it was his and they arbitrarily decided he seemed credible?

      It sucks for this soldier, but the sheriff's deciding this was a decision for a judge seems the right call.

  33. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

    A convicted murderer and rapist has won damages after a tribunal found he was racially discriminated against in jail ? because he is British.

    http://www.news.com.au/nationa.....6893963896

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      You guys couldn't reverse transport him?

      1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

        Reverse transport? Cute! Once his sentence is over, we will.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      he was racially discriminated against in jail ? because he is British.

      wait, British is a race?

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        British is the nationality, Limey is the race.

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        "I am Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, King of the Britons."

        1. Agammamon   11 years ago

          King of the *who*?

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The Brits aren't a race.

      1. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

        Sure they are - Homo Dentum Horribilus

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          Ok I laughed at that

  34. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Today's Antarctic region once as hot as California, Florida

    Parts of ancient Antarctica were as warm as today's California coast, and polar regions of the southern Pacific Ocean registered 21st-century Florida heat, according to scientists using a new way to measure past temperatures.

    But it wasn't always that way, and the new measurements can help improve climate models used for predicting future climate, according to co-author Hagit Affek of Yale, associate professor of geology & geophysics.

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      It was also once a lot closer to the equator.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        50 million years ago it wasn't that much closer. I think changing ocean currents had a lot more to do with the climate changes than CO2, though. The Southern Ocean does a lot to keep Antarctica as cold as it is.

  35. db   11 years ago

    WTF is it with blown leads and 4-3 scores in this Pens-Blue jackets series?

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      I would laugh my ass off if Columbus wins this series. Rooting so hard for them.

  36. Rich   11 years ago

    Marijuana may cause heart problems in young adults

    Taylor added that more research needs to be done to assess the risks posed by marijuana. "It is a shame that we simply don't know more about a substance that potentially carries the risk of serious bodily harm."

    And why, one might wonder, could *that* possibly be?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Key word - "may"

      They're grasping at every straw to re-ban it for our own good.

    2. Mellow Kitty   11 years ago

      Pretending that marijuana is this mysterious, novel substance with a totally unknown safety profile is laughable, given its safe use in millions upon millions of human trials. Every time I've had the pleasure of watching DEA chemists present on cannabinoids, I'm amazed at how much of their data is sourced from Erowid and Bluelight.

  37. anomdebus   11 years ago

    Any DC region reasoners going to the Mastodon/Gojira concert @9:30 club on 5/13/2014?

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Somewhat related:

      Warty, I'd appreciate your assessment of Mahavatar.

      1. Warty   11 years ago

        These guys? Decent enough, nothing groundbreaking. The chick can growl decently. Major demerits to the drummer for wearing his own band's T-shirt in the video.

        I really should go see Behemoth tonight, but I'm feeling awfully busy and lazy. Being lame sucks.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          Thanks, Maestro. I stumbled upon them the other day. They seem, um, inconsistent; but the distaff aspect is kind of cool.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Shouldn't Gojira be performing with Mosura?

    3. Warty   11 years ago

      I've seen Mastodon many times, and they're great when they're on, and mediocre as hell when they're off. Never seen Gojira.

      1. anomdebus   11 years ago

        What would you say the odds of them being on, on any given night?
        Thanks

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          Beats me, it's been years since I've seen them. It's worth going, especially at a place like the 9:30.

  38. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    That's one charged display: Man strips naked to perform bizarre dance through sun-roof of his $70,000 electric Tesla Model S on busy highway

    Unidentified man held up traffic for hours on the Pacific Coast Highway in California on Tuesday
    Performed a naked dance through his sun-roof and on top of his electric Tesla Model S
    Was eventually taken away and authorities said he may have had a 'meltdown or psychiatric episode or was on a controlled substance.'

    http://reason.com/blog/2014/04.....nt_4468033
    Was the episode before or after he purchased that piece of crap?

  39. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    NYPD's Twitter campaign disaster spreads westward as users post LAPD's not-so-angelic police behavior

    New York's police introduced the Twitter hashtag #myNYPD where citizens can show them as a force for good, but it quickly backfired
    Images and stories of police brutality quickly cropped up with the New York tag
    The same is now happening on the West Coast with #myLAPD and in other cities like Chicago and Oakland

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....avior.html

    1. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

      Nice - I hope that reaches Chicago now!

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Kelly. Thomas.

  40. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    Episarch now has Russell Wilson all to himself.

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      Episiarch* ?

      Fuck it, Epi.

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        If he wants to have a retarded name that only retarded retardos would have he needs to get used to have it spelled retardedly.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          I just googled his name, and I know this probably isn't him, but it was still hilarious:

          https://twitter.com/episiarch

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            It doesn't link to his Grindr account, so I don't think that's him.

            1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

              This sounds like him though:

              Pam's boobs are really big this season

              ? episiarch (@episiarch) September 25, 2011

              [removed][removed]

              1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                True...

          2. Warty   11 years ago

            episiarch ?@episiarch Oct 12
            It's been 2 weeks and I lost 8 pounds, thanks garcinia, try it for free http://bit.ly/1bmaVIH

            Definitely not him.

    2. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Russel Wilson married his high school English teacher?

  41. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    State law prohibits weapons of any kind in courthouses.

    Privately owned weapons, anyway.

  42. Rich   11 years ago

    An oldie but a goodie:

    David Gregory Drunk on Imus in the Morning

  43. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    Baseball map shows no one likes Mets or Athletics.

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      The Yankees background noise is interesting.

  44. Andrew S.   11 years ago

    Kudos for the picture and alt text, Krayewski.

  45. Rich   11 years ago

    Too quiet.

    1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

      Everyone else has been raptured. We're fucked.

      1. db   11 years ago

        Nah, it's just that 85% of us were Tulpa stockholders and.got.banned.

        1. db   11 years ago

          Auto correct makes "sockpuppet" into "stockholder"

          1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

            Be thankful you didn't buy stock in Tulpa. Hasn't been doing well lately.

            1. db   11 years ago

              Nuh-uh! Shreek tells me everything is.superduper because the stock market.is.up!

      2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

        or captured.

        or rape-tured (by Warty)

        1. Andrew S.   11 years ago

          I always carry a cyanide pill with me just in case of the latter scenario.

      3. Brett L   11 years ago

        About to walk into my weekly office meeting. Fuck.

        1. invisible furry hand   11 years ago

          Walk? Stride, you fucking popinjay, stride. And then pick a fight like your old man.

          1. Warty   11 years ago

            Mosey. Or stalk or march, but never amble.

          2. Brett L   11 years ago

            Should I mince in there like Hemingway's son? I'm confused on the expectations.

        2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

          are you free to gambol?

      4. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Everyone else has been raptured. We're fucked

        Since I'm still surrounded by NYS Bureaucrats, I can't refute this claim.

      5. Rich   11 years ago

        Everyone else has been raptured. We're fucked.

        We're fucked anyway, Andrew.

  46. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    President "I dare ya to step over this line" has once more sternly admonished Putin.

    Consequences, I tell you.

    CONSEQUENCES!

    1. db   11 years ago

      Too bed there is precious little TRUTH to.go with those CONSEQUENCES.

  47. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Everyone else has been raptured. We're fucked.

    Perhaps they, like me, made the horrible mistake of attempting to decipher that Nation article in full. I'm still reeling helplessly from the inchoate deluge of unsupported assertions and non sequiturs.

    THAT GUY GOT PAID TO WRITE THAT.

    *slips head into noose, kicks chair over*

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      The rope was too long, your feet are back on the floor.

  48. OldMexican   11 years ago

    The oldest light observed in the universe is reshaping how scientists think about the universe's early history.

    God lighted up a cigarette and the whole thing exploded in his face.

  49. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

    It's Take Your Little Snot Factory to Work Day. And of course, I'm not teleworking. SAVE ME!

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      Oh, shit. I could be playing with my baby instead of working?

    2. db   11 years ago

      Years ago, I had a friend at work who brought b.s. two daughters to work and they found out that I am easily startled when surprised while concentrating.on work. Yay, fun.

    3. Kaptious Kristen   11 years ago

      It pisses me off that they let those walking biohazards run free around the office, yet I can't bring my dog in.

    4. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      My boss happened to bring his daughter in for lunch today. It turns out she's a thin redhead who's looking at colleges right now, and specifically the one whose sweater I was wearing when we met. This has been a super distracting week.

  50. GILMORE   11 years ago

    " U.S. doctors were killed in Kabul after a security guard opened fire at a hospital."

    Well, think how much worse it could have been without the 'security'.

  51. WTF   11 years ago

    Yup. Apparently there are people in NYC with terriers and dachshunds who like to get together and take their dogs out rat hunting in refuse piles and alleys.

  52. Warty   11 years ago

    Bummer and Lazarus

  53. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

    Nobody tell PETA

  54. db   11 years ago

    I didn't expect the Pens to totally roll over.Columbus but these wild swings in the course of games are crazy. Plus, it's driving Dr. Girlfriend nuts, which puts me on.edge.

  55. db   11 years ago

    I did not underestimate them, based on they play I have seen them demonstrate this.season and especially their last game against the Pens. But these nutty collapses are too much.

  56. Warty   11 years ago

    Old-timey jailhouse rape had so much more panache than today's.

  57. cavalier973   11 years ago

    "popped him in the smeller" means he hit him in the nose, you pervs.

  58. Tejicano   11 years ago

    This kind of trivia is one of the reasons I hang out here. I cannot imagine any other place where I would have found out about Bummer and Lazarus.

    History is cool.

  59. Swiss Servator, K?se, K?se!   11 years ago

    I am still apprehensive as hell about this series. I think the next game decides it.

  60. Zeb   11 years ago

    Do you smell with your asshole?

  61. Soros' Wank-noose   11 years ago

    Can someone please preserve this warty quote??

  62. Warty   11 years ago

    My asshole smells, yes.

  63. Zeb   11 years ago

    And my dog has no nose.

  64. Soros' Wank-noose   11 years ago

    OK, both of them??

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