Hillary Clinton Details Her Hard Choices, Startup Funding on the Rise, Earthquake Hits Mexico: P.M. Links


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  1. Boston pizza chain to offer “Pizza Cake

    Gird yourselves for the deepest of dishes, and discuss.

    1. what happened to FoE

      1. Maybe he’s having another stroke?

        1. Two little old nuns were sitting on a park bench, when suddenly a streaker ran by.

          One of the nuns had a stroke. The other one couldn’t reach that far.

          1. EvH does not approve this message!

            And on Good Friday of all days.

      2. Dial 9-1, and if he’s not here in 5 minutes, dial 1 again.

        1. That’s a joke in your town.

    2. It’s the deep dish of deep dish. Disgusting. Note that I didn’t call it “pizza”, because it sure as fuck isn’t. ProL will probably blow a load in his pants when he sees it, just like he does when he sees Wesley on the screen.

      1. ProL wears pants? I always imagined him wearing a snake-skin loin cloth…

        1. what about that half-thong someone posted last night?

          1. I am not familiar with this. Link?

            Oh are they the things that wrap around one leg and your junk but don’t go over the other hip?

          2. I am not familiar with this. Link?

            Oh are they the things that wrap around one leg and your junk but don’t go over the other hip?

            1. I didn’t save the link. But basically that.

            2. This sounds like something Little Donny from the Upright Citizens Brigade would wear.

        2. They’re women’s pants. He actually wears full pantsuits all the time.

          1. ProL is the ghost writer for Hard Choices?!

            1. Oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to let anyone know! Oh well. I guess what, at this point, difference does it make?

        3. As long as he’s wearing something.

    3. I’ve never even had deep dish and that image is ABSOLUTETLY DISGUSTING.

  2. Machete Grills

  3. A New Jersey woman is suing the state for refusing to let her get a license plate that spelled out “8THEIST.”

    Why would she eat a theist?

    1. Or steal eighty things?

    2. She ‘ates them, being an anti-theist.

    3. She has the faith of 8 theists?

      1. We octotheists will not tolerate your intolerence.

    4. I saw a plate that read EHTHEST. I had to admit it was pretty damned funny.

  4. With Easter on 4/20, some pastors capitalize on pot lover’s holiday to reach new audiences

  5. Frys’s has a 3D printer on sale starting today. Do I need one, or do I just want one?

    1. How much?

        1. I’m going there tonight anyway. May as well have a look.

          1. While you’re there can you pick me up a SAS DAS, say with 16 10,000 RPM drives to put in RAID 10? Because the fucking drives I’m working with right now are slow and my 400 million row SELECT INTO is taking a long fucking time.

            1. SSD SSD SSD

              Turns out they’re cheap-as-shit compared to what they were.

              Also, I’m migrating a DB to RAID 10 SSD next week:)

              1. Don’t the writes start to slow down over time, though? I thought that was the case.

                In any case, you’d be stunned how fast a SAS RAID 10 array can be if you have a lot of drives. All those spindles gets you some incredible speed.

                1. Don’t the writes start to slow down over time, though? I thought that was the case.

                  TRIM helps this a lot.

                2. I’ve built big SAS RAID arrays (hundreds of spindles.)

                  1 SATA drive is good for about 120 iops
                  1 SAS: 150 iops
                  1 SSD: 30,000 iops

                  I don’t think writes slowing down is a problem so much as bad sectors shrinking it to smaller than the FS. That said, I tend to figure a DB server lives about 3 years or less anyway.

                  1. That said, I tend to figure a DB server lives about 3 years or less anyway.

                    I wish.

                    We were lucky to get the Agency to replace a 7 year old Database server when we started to have CPU failures during the day.

                    CPU Failures. They didn’t give a damn how many HDDs we had to swap out. They noticed when ever mission critical app crashed mid-workday because a processor crapped out and the box rebooted.

                    But then again, Management was all lawyers and hated spending money on IT. (God only knows where they wasted it all)

              2. When I get enough money to build my own rig in a year or less, an SSD is going to be in it.

              3. SSD SSD SSD

                Turns out they’re cheap-as-shit compared to what they were.

                They’re still way too damn expensive. If they weren’t, I’d be throwing my 3 2TB drives out the window right now and replacing with SSD.

            2. Are you still trying to win the Netflix competition? Cuz’ you know that’s over now.

            3. The Manhattan Beach Fry’s sucks for most enterprise level products. Sometimes I have trouble scraping together the parts for a rack.

              Don’t you have fibre channel?

              1. I was just making a joke. I don’t have control over this server (it’s remote) so I have to work with what it has, and it sucks. My SELECT INTO has been running for 45 minutes.

                1. maybe it’s stuck in an infinite loop?
                  how do you know it’s not?

                  1. Because set-based SQL queries don’t have loops?

            4. You know, until I got around to this comment I kept thinking ‘wow, its neat that a grocery store is offering 3d printers’, having completely forgotten the existence of the *other* Fry’s.

              1. I was thinking of going into town later to check them out. Oh well.

        2. I want one.

    2. Can I encourage you to get one just so I can get a 3d print of my skull on the cheap?

      1. You already have a digital file of your skull?

        1. I’ve never had cause to get one. I’m sure I can get the black-humored Russian neurosurgeon I work with to prescribe a head CT if I tell him what it’s for, no?

    3. I don’t know about you, but I keep telling myself I NEED one. For, uh, prototyping race car parts. Yeah, that’s it.

      1. I already have all of the gun stuff that I could ever possibly want, so I don’t NEED one. Yet.

      2. I keep wanting to get one, but then I tell myself that I don’t rally have the skill to prototype the stuff I want on the computer.

        I would like to redo the grip on my P-32. It could do with a little more girth to fit my hand better.

        1. It could do with a little more girth to fit my hand better.

          You talking about a gun right? jk

          I think a houge handall jr will fit it (with a little work), you can find them online for around 7-9 bucks

    4. I’m gonna wait until it’s $99.99 including shipping & handling.

      1. It’ll be $99.95, but the “ink” will cost $500 per refill.

        1. This is why you buy refilled ink cartridges on Amazon.

          I just bought 6 refills(all colors) for my Epson printer for $25. They work just as well as the originals, and a single refill at Office Depot is $55. Insanity.

      2. Based upon my understanding of how these things work, I’m going to buy the $650 one, print myself another 3D printer, and return the original for a refund.

        1. I just can’t figure it out. We sold 10,000 the first quarter and *none* since!

    5. I read that the economics are such that it’s worth it even at a couple hundred dollars more.

  6. Resegregation in the American South

    The principal struggles to explain to students how the segregation they experience is any different from the old version simply because no law requires it. “It is hard, it is a tough conversation, and it is a conversation I don’t think we as adults want to have.”

    1. How much of it is blacks voluntarily segregating themselves away from the whites?

      1. Most of it.

        1. Because whites are HATERZ!

    2. “it is a conversation I don’t think we as adults want to have.”

      A nation of *cowards*.

      /Eric Holder

      1. The “national dialogue” on race is really a monologue at best, and a harangue at worst.

    3. If you want to see segregation, come to Baltimore.

  7. no doubt every single sentence will be picked over by the press before anybody gets the chance to read through the thing

    What difference, at that point, would it make?

  8. “Hard Choices”
    How much crap do I put up with from Bubba to keep riding his coat-tails?

  9. How Paulson Gave Hedge Funds Advance Word of Fannie Mae Rescue
    …Around the conference room table were a dozen or so hedge- fund managers and other Wall Street executives — at least five of them alumni of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS), of which Paulson was chief executive officer and chairman from 1999 to 2006. In addition to Eton Park founder Eric Mindich, they included such boldface names as Lone Pine Capital LLC founder Stephen Mandel, Dinakar Singh of TPG-Axon Capital Management LP and Daniel Och of Och-Ziff Capital Management Group LLC.

    After a perfunctory discussion of the market turmoil, the fund manager says, the discussion turned to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Paulson said he had erred by not punishing Bear Stearns shareholders more severely. The secretary, then 62, went on to describe a possible scenario for placing Fannie and Freddie into “conservatorship” — a government seizure designed to allow the firms to continue operations despite heavy losses in the mortgage markets.

    1. Paulson explained that under this scenario, the common stock of the two government-sponsored enterprises, or GSEs, would be effectively wiped out. So too would the various classes of preferred stock, he said.

      The fund manager says he was shocked that Paulson would furnish such specific information — to his mind, leaving little doubt that the Treasury Department would carry out the plan. The managers attending the meeting were thus given a choice opportunity to trade on that information.

      There’s no evidence that they did so after the meeting; tracking firm-specific short stock sales isn’t possible using public documents….

      1. Prequel:
        Paulson had been pushing a plan in Congress to open lines of credit to the two struggling firms and to grant authority for the Treasury Department to buy equity in them. Yet he had told reporters on July 13 that the firms must remain shareholder owned and had testified at a Senate hearing two days later that giving the government new power to intervene made actual intervention improbable.

        “If you have a bazooka, and people know you have it, you’re not likely to take it out,” he said.

        On the morning of July 21, before the Eton Park meeting, Paulson had spoken to New York Times reporters and editors, according to his Treasury Department schedule. A Times article the next day said the Federal Reserve and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency were inspecting Fannie and Freddie’s books and cited Paulson as saying he expected their examination would give a signal of confidence to the markets.

      2. There is a shitstorm brewing on what to do with Fannie/Freddie now that they paid off their enormous $180 billion debt to the Treasury.

        Predictably, idiot conservatives have begun their spin campaign.


        “Obamacare for mortgages”? Fucking idiots.

        1. Really buttplug, OFA has you responding to evidence of corruption w/ mindless talking points?

          Your guy Paulson gave hedge fund traders a heads up on govt action that they could cash in on. Occupy Wall Street indeed.

          Own it buttplug, own Chocolate Nixon’s corruption. All. of. it.

          1. Wow, Paulson was no doubt the only honest and worthy member of the entire Bush Administration.

            Congrats – you got me to defend and Bushpig.

            1. Palin’s Buttplug|4.18.14 @ 4:51PM|#
              …”Congrats – you got me to defend and Bushpig.”

              Call you on your bullshit and you’ll defend anything.
              Principles have never affected your position on anything you’ve posted here.

    2. Anger … building ….

  10. An Ohio teacher has been fired for reportedly telling a black student that the country didn’t need another black president.

    While I’m sure its being played uber-hard for the ‘black student’ angle, but why wasn’t the guy fired for simply telling *a* student that the country didn’t need another black president. Seems to me that its just as fucked-up to tell a white kid this as a black one.

    1. Would telling any student the country doesn’t need another white president be any better?

      1. Just tell them we don’t need another president.

      2. Well, its certainly *true* that we don’t need another white president (or black, or indeed, a president of any color).

    2. “Oh, very well, then. The country doesn’t need another tyrant!”

    3. Evidently what this country needs is a National Conversation on Race. I hear that every single time there is a story along these lines (which is pretty much daily).

      I wonder just how a “national conversation” would go? I’m still not sure I know what it even means. I have a funny feeling, though, that the conversation would have to be extremely one-sided or else it would be quickly condemned.

  11. A Florida man is accused of suffocating his infant son trying to get him to stop crying while he played video games.

    Dammit, Scott! The meme is “Florida Man” — NOT “A Florida man”!

    1. I’m impressed that an infant can play video games.

      1. But daddy, I don’t wanna play the new Thief anymore, it sucks!

        1. “Why, you little!”

      2. ‘m impressed that an infant can play video games.

        And how he got in to my pajamas I’ll never know.

        1. +1 cigar-chomping Groucho

  12. The most metal places on earth

    I’m guessing the commentariat could do better.

    1. That’s easy: Warty’s basement.

    2. The Haserot angel is bad as fuck. There’s a lot of awesome gothic(is that the right art word?) shit like that in Lakeview Cemetery.

      1. How about pretty much anywhere outside the enclaves of the rich in North Korea?

      2. That article mentions Pohang, which makes me think of The Homigot

        1. See, how come we never get good public art? If we’re going to waste taxpayers money, at least the damn stuff should be awesome.

        2. Isn’t that supposed to be carrying a torch?

          1. It’s Korea, not Planet of the Apes…

            It’s kinda creepy to have a giant hand sticking out of the water like a drowning man grasping for the surface, but it’s visually very cool in person, and clearly photographs well.

            Very fun for forced perspective shots.

  13. PETA Angry With Wookiee Obama Over White House Easter Eggs

    1. Isn’t PETA angry with everything all the time?

      1. Yes. They have outright stated their hatred for humanity and a desire to turn the world back over the to animals – which they still slaughter by the thousands.

    2. For chickens on egg factory farms, Easter is not a time of renewal or joy.


      1. I very much doubt that any chickens care much for Easter one way or the other.

        1. Note to self: Use less-subtle sarcasm.

  14. Wait a second.. Hillary is making a “hard” choice? I thought she was a dyke?

    1. “Like *thumbs*.”

        1. To be fair, I’d have to think about that choice, too.

          1. To be honest, it doesn’t matter what you pick – you’re getting a fist sooner or later anyway.

        2. Of etiquette?

    2. See today’s “your morning image” tweet from Jesse Walker (somewhat NSFW)

      1. Is that some sort of spoiler from GOT? A sneak peak at the new Iron Throne?

  15. This Bush/Clinton thing is never going to end, is it?

    We’re talking about 34 straight years of a Bush/Clinton either being, or running for, Prez, with no end in sight.

    The least these bastards can do is legalize drugs so we can laugh through it all.

    1. No Bush or Clinton ran in ’12. We don’t have one in the cabinet. The streak is over. A new one may start, but the old one is done.

      1. Yes, in a litersal sense, but Hillary has never really stopped running for Prez.

        1. And Gee Dubs never stopped being prez, apparently.

    2. I bet no more Clintons or Bushes get elected president for a long time. This may be one area where people’s tendency to vote based on symbolic things does some good. THough whoever does get elected is likely to be just as bad.

      1. She’ll get the nomination. First Woman and all that, with the first black person being out of the way.

        And she’ll be going against the Stupid Party.

        1. Don’t overestimate the stupidity of the American voter

        2. She’ll get the nomination.

          I’m not convinced. She’s old, her health isn’t great, she has a record now that is not impressive (which doesn’t count for much, I know), and she just doesn’t have charisma or broad appeal.

          1. Plus those saddlebags hanging off her cheekbones keep making her visage more and more clock-stopping.

          2. I wish that were the case, but tell me again who is the Democratic challenger who will take down Clinton in the primary?

        3. I’m still betting she won’t. I just think that too many people hate her.

          We’ll find out soon enough, I guess.

  16. Kentucky cop arrests teen for making him look like a dick. Department stonewalls after more charges added in attempt to intimidate the kid.

    I swear, if we just leave it to the cops, there won’t be a person in America worth a fuck that still supports them.

    1. Kentucky cops (well, you can leave out the place name) don’t need teens to make them look like dicks; the cops do a good job of that all by themselves.

      1. And do any of our Kentucky posters know what’s happened to the kids in the month since the story first broke? 😉

  17. Pelosi assists in Holy Week foot-washing ritual

    Now I have to wash the vomit off *my* foot.

    She should first remove the beam in her own eye.

    1. That’s some good pandering right there.

    2. I hope Francis gave her the guys with bad toe fungus.

  18. Study: US is an oligarchy, not a democracy

    1. Yeah, those people don’t know what they’re talking about.

      Like the idiots who claim their preferred hated western nation has the highest level of inequality in the world, ignoring countries like China, Cuba, Zimbabwe, North Korea.

  19. Poveglia in Italy is the world’s most haunted island and it’s up for sale

    1. I’ll take it if they price it cheap enough. The only ghost that scares me is Space Ghost.

      1. +1 Zorak

        1. No no you dolt! The correct answer is Moltar!

    2. That is an excellent site for an evil lair.

      1. Javier Bardem already figured that out in Skyfall.

        1. I thought his island was in Japan?



    4. Why have we not started a collection fund to purchase this yet?

      1. Once we buy it we can appoint you and another commenter as caretakers for the property. Maybe Episiarch? Doesn’t that sound nice? Trapped on a haunted island with Epi!

        1. “It’s like prom all over again!”

        2. There would be no more ghosts if Epi was there — he’d scare them all off. & then I’d have to kill myself to avoid being stuck alone with him.

          1. That doesn’t make any sense. If Epi can scare off the ghosts it means he can interact with them. If you kill yourself, you’d become a ghost and STILL be at his mercy.

            1. DAMN YOUR LOGIC. Well, then I decline the job of caretaker altogether, I guess.

              1. DAMN YOUR LOGIC.

                Did I just mansplain something!?

                Can I get a ruling on this?

                1. I may be the last woman on the planet who could tell if you did or not.

                  1. Hold on, let me try and summon Nicole. She’ll know.

                    Nicole! I summon thee!

                    1. SQUEE!

            2. “It’s like Weekend At Bernie’s all over again!”

            3. Wasn’t that the plot of the live-action version of ‘Caspar’?

              1. Why do you know that?

                1. Because I had a childhood that included bad movies?

                2. He was 5 when it came out on video. You can’t blame adult him for having watched it until the tape demagnetized.

                  1. Everyone can stop reminding me of how young he is at any point now.

                  2. It’s weird looking back at it and seeing all the cameos from celebrities that the kid audience never would have understood.

                    I mean Father Sarducci shows up?

        3. “All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy. All work and no play makes Epi a dull boy.”

          1. Galadriel: “How’d you like some ice cream, Frodo?”

  20. Brainstorm session: what kind of dirt does Stewart Baker on Eugene Volokh. I have no idea why they keep that moron around. He really is the worst. (Yup, worse than Nicole)

    1. Yup, worse than Nicole

      Whoa, dude. You can’t just question H&R orthodoxy like that. I’m afraid you’ll have to be burned as a heretic.

      Nice checkmark btw.

      1. Stewart Baker is a shill for all the unconstitutional surveillance shit. What he’s doing on a libertarianish law blog is beyond me.

        Of course, I don’t particularly understand why David Bernstein is still there, either.

        1. He’s just there to make them look less stereotypically Jewish by comparison.

        2. What’s wrong with DB? I haven’t read it regularly since law school, but I liked his book, Rehabilitating Lochner, and I generally liked his posts as well.

          1. Too pro-Israel would be my guess.

            1. “Too” pro-Israel in the sense that the issue seems to be a hobbyhorse with him.

              It’s much like EvH and his persecution complex.

              1. You know who else had a persecution complex?

                1. Tony?

  21. Fucking New Mexico and their shitty police unions. Why can’t they find a way to charge the person who initiated the call to the police instead of the officer who went off the road and ran a pedestrian over.

    But don’t worry, the DA still has a chance to fuck this up in the Grand Jury.

    1. These guys are allowed to drive recklessly because they’re highly trained and capable. Want proof? When was the last time one was at fault for a wreck or pedestrian collision?

      See? The logic is unassailable.

  22. Hillary will get a gigantic advance for her book, which will be a bestseller for a few weeks, then head for the remainder tables and haunt the shelves of thrift shops for the next 20 years.

    I swear, I think some of these Democrats who publish books are basically getting campaign donations from publishers, who give them huge advances they never earn back.

    1. How dare you imply our Progressive Betters are involved in corrupt deals w/ the same media companies that voluntarily push their bullshit whenver possible. Shame!

  23. So stealing a few hours is a felony, but drumming up false police reports and phony DUI’s is a misdemeanor?

    Shows you where the priorities of IA departments are.

    1. False reports and phony DUIs are standard operating procedure. He fucked up by inventing perps out of whole cloth instead of using the tried and true method of framing people.

    2. You can do whatever you want as long as you don’t steal from the department.

    1. It’s about fucking time. People who shoot vertical video should be Cossack whipped.

      1. That is where you get the whip wielded by a dancing Don River Cossack, right?

  24. Father of sextuplets dies of heart attack after setting up trampoline.

    Had his wife set up an intrauterine trampoline 10 years earlier, he probably wouldn’t have had to set the damn thing up. And anyone knows that setting up a trampoline is about as much fun as having your colon scoped at the same time as having a root canal.

    1. People who live in glass houses…

  25. Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville could face discipline for crotch grab during tirade

    1. I’m reminded of this epic press conference.

    1. Of course, prostitution and pimping shouldn’t be illegal.

      1. Well no, but using the police database to screen Johns while you’re probably out busting somebody else for ho-ing is pretty fucked up.

        1. Eliot Spitzer-level fucked up.

  26. Michigan mayor bans atheist display at city hall, claiming it would upset the people at the Christian Prayer Station:


    1. WTF is an ‘atheist display’?

      1. Picture Lucy’s therapy booth, with an atheist in it handing out brochures.

        1. Lucy’s booth, but more preachy.

          1. Seriously. Why the fuck do they need a booth there? I’m a fucking atheist and this shit pisses me off.

            Just once, I’d like them to put up a booth or display that’s not across from something religious that’s already there.

            1. So the an atheist booth would piss you off, but the Prayer Station booth already there doesn’t bother you at all?

              1. So the an atheist booth would piss you off, but the Prayer Station booth already there doesn’t bother you at all?

                Their goal isn’t to get it banned. Their goal is to harass the little old ladies who man the booth by loudly proclaiming that their religion is bullshit from 10 feet away in order to make up for the bullshit that got thrown at them in highschool because of religion. Believe me, I understand the anger and need to strike back, but it’s misplaced. Badly.

                It’s like the nativity scene crap. You want a display, pick another time. That one is already taken. It’s just as bullshit as people wanting to hang crosses around an Islamic display on Ramadan.

            2. Just once, I’d like them to put up a booth or display that’s not across from something religious that’s already there.

              For the people who do this, atheism is a religion.

              Lights the Sevo signal…

        2. DON’T TALK ABOUT…Oh, wait, wrong Lucy.

      2. A GIANT license plate that says “8THEIST”

      3. WTF is an ‘atheist display’?

        A vagina, peace sign, and Darwin Fish on one sticker.

    2. Do they allow religious displays at city hall? If not, I don’t give a fuck. Otherwise, yeah, first amendment violation.

      1. Yes. They have the aforementioned Christian Prayer Station the mayor is worried about upsetting.

  27. Reuters allows itself to be used as a mouthpiece for SPLC anti-militia hysterics in wake of ‘Bundy Battle’.

    Energized by their success, Bundy’s supporters are already talking about where else they can exercise armed defiance.

    A couple paragraphs later we get what is supposed to substaniate the above statement:

    In the days since the showdown, right-wing websites have begun searching for other Bundys. Several conservative and survivalist blogs have seized on the case of Tommy Henderson, a rancher on the Texas-Oklahoma border who they say is fighting BLM attempts to seize some of his land.


    Bonus proggie hysteria:

    The weekend showdown marked the latest resurgence of violent, anti-government sentiments that have existed in rural America for centuries, said Catherine Stock, a history professor at Connecticut College who specializes in rural militias.

    “The question is whether we’re going to see sustained flame-up now. We could see more of that if they actually think that the federal government is going to stand down,” she said.

    “It’s not the groups, it’s not their concerns, it’s not their anger, all of that is old, but the federal government backing down? I was like, wow! Seriously?”

    1. The weekend showdown marked the latest resurgence of violent, anti-government sentiments that have existed in rural America for centuries, said Catherine Stock, a history professor at Connecticut College who specializes in rural militias.

      I’m surprised they didn’t call her an anthropology professor, given that progs view rural residents as slightly less intelligent apes anyway.

  28. So HM and Tejicano were discussing puns East Asian languages last night, which reminded me of this:

    The Grass-Mud Horse Lexicon: Translating the Resistance Discourse of Chinese Netizens

    The Grass-Mud Horse Lexicon is an online glossary of terms created by Chinese netizens and frequently encountered in online political discussions.

    In early 2009, a creature called the grass-mud horse appeared in an online music video which became an immediate viral hit. “Grass-mud horse” (c?on?m? ???), which sounds nearly the same in Mandarin as “fuck your mother” (c?o n? m? ???), was originally coined to get around, and also poke fun at, government censorship of vulgar content.

    ?? (w?i b?): slight erection

    This sounds the same in Chinese as “microblog” (?? w?ib?). A number of microbloggers have used this term to jokingly refer to microblogs.

    ???? (R? R?nm?n B?o): Screwing People Post

    Parody of the People’s Daily (???? R?nm?n R?b?o) created by moving ? (r?), a character that literally means “day” or “sun,” but colloquially means “to fuck.”

    ??????? (g?i r?nm?n y? ge ji?od?i): give the people some tape

    Sounds the same as “give the people an explanation” (???????).

    1. H&R let you post all those Chinese characters?

      1. Indeed. I was pretty surprised.

      2. Look at his check mark. He has tamed the squirrels.

        1. Or he IS the squirrels!

          *carefully adjusts tinfoil hat*

          1. I made ? with the squirrels.

            1. TRAITOR!

        2. They let me post in Greek a few weeks ago. I think they’re getting weaker.

    2. ??? (T?ngj? J?): Bureau of Dicking Around

      Pejorative, homophonous nickname for the National Bureau of Statistics (??? T?ngj? J?), long criticized for providing unreliable data. When last checked on February 25, 2014, “Bureau of Dicking Around” was blocked from search results on Sina Weibo.

    3. Some really good stuff in that Lexicon, thanks for posting.

  29. Kentucky Democrats are blocking the Rand Paul Law – allowing him to run for US Senate and POTUS simultaneously.

    I say go for POTUS, Randy!

  30. This vintage public health poster has been making the rounds. I guess nobody told Episiarch.

    1. I don’t have syphilis, jesse, I have Space Herpes, which, as you well know, is incurable. I’ll never forgive Warty for giving it to me. At least I’ve passed it on to many partners, though, and therefore we aren’t alone.

      1. Whatever, the syph is more entertaining. Even after you’re cured of it it remains in spirochette wells such as your eye sockets for the rest of your life.

        1. I don’t think Wild Bill Hickok thought that syphilis was more interesting.

      2. Space Herpes? No wonder you are afraid of Space Ghost. You should have used a Space Condom.

          1. This thread has reminded me of the Swiss public health department’s entry into video game territory “Catch the Sperm” back in the early 2000s.

            Download.com still hosts it here

          2. You forgot to tell them about the herpagonasyphilitus that liberal gave you. You know, the one you were dating and told me not to say anything about.

        1. Is Space Herpes as bad as Dire AIDs?

  31. That book cover should be entered in some sort of “World’s Most Amazing Photoshops” competition.

    1. I’d love to read the marketing dept’s emails about it.

  32. Cop shoots himself while trying to shoot dog.

    A California deputy accidentally shot himself while trying to kill a dog that he said was threatening his life on Wednesday, but video captured by a local television station later showed the animal much smaller than reported and peacefully playing with children.

    According to a Riverside County sheriff’s spokesperson, the deputy was serving an eviction notice at around 2 p.m. on Wednesday when a “large” dog tried to attack him, KCAL reported.

    “A dog came at the deputy in an aggressive manner,” Deputy Armando Munoz said, according to The Press-Enterprise. “The deputy, (attempting to defend himself) pulled his service weapon, shot one round, and injured himself in the leg.”

    “He’s OK. He has non life-threatening injuries.”

    Munoz said that the dog’s aggressive behavior ended when it was startled by the gunfire.

    1. H&R said something about it this morning it got pushed off the front page.

      1. Damn. Scooped.

  33. Munoz said that the dog’s aggressive behavior ended when it was startled by the gunfire.

    The dog was rendered helpless with laughter.

  34. IS anybody other than me giving the Red Wings much of a chance tonight or in the series overall?

    Are any of you chow-duh eaters going?

    1. Is that some kind of sports team?

    2. No.

      As a Red Wings fan, I think they can give Boston fits (see what they did to Chicago last year in the playoffs) but they are too young and too battered and Boston is just too deep for them over the course of seven games.

      1. I’m picking the Wings in 6 games. They’ve been playing better than almost anybody and every game for the last 3 weeks has been meaningful. They’re also getting guys back at the right time to cancel out the depth issue.

  35. What Are Misogynist Geeks So Afraid Of?

    I’m serious. What’s the worst thing that could happen if women were able to write criticisms of the objectification and marginalization of female characters in comic books and video games, all without being silenced and derailed with a bunch of abuse from Dudes With Serious Issues? Quite literally, the worst that could happen is that their criticisms are heard and artists and developers cut it out. Wonder Girl’s tits would get smaller. There would be fewer women in video games begging the hero to kill them rather than let them live this way. More women would be doing things and fewer would be dead stuffed in refrigerators. Oh boy, sounds terrible. Sounds like a hellscape that would destroy the very souls of men. (This is sarcasm, for the overly literal.)

    Is there anyone except SJWs that want fantasy to change and actually kick up a fuss about it? It’s fucking fantasy. There are infinite variations. Go make one.

    1. bonus:

      Take this shitstorm for example. Do these guys really need Wonder Girl to have comically huge anti-gravity boobs? Do they have some kind of debilitating sexual fetish wherein they can’t get aroused unless staring at a woman drawn this way? If so, that’s a bummer, especially since it means a sex life that is entirely masturbation-based, since real women don’t look this way. Even women who get surgery to look this way don’t really look this way. Sucks for them, but honestly, even if that’s true, it’s not like there isn’t a bunch of hand-drawn porn to meet your needs. You aren’t entitled to have comics meant for general audiences drawn to meet your very rare sexual fetish. I mean, it’s not like furries or people who get off on balloon-popping expect the mainstream non-porn media to meet their needs. They make their own porn.

      How dare they not want something they like to change. They’re obviously perverts who never get laid.

      I mean Nothing bad ever happens when SJWs get their way, right?

      1. I haven’t read comics in decades, but don’t the male super heroes generally have muscles on top of muscles? Isn’t this just a female version of the same thing?

        1. don’t the male super heroes generally have muscles on top of muscles?

          Not all of them.

        2. but don’t the male super heroes generally have muscles on top of muscles? Isn’t this just a female version of the same thing?

          They’ve got an answer for that. Apparently, the impossibly muscled hunks are for guys also. They’re a “power fantasy”.

          ‘Cause apparently no woman ever wanted a small waist and giant knockers.

          1. So wait a sec. So apparently, combining this with the report yesterday, the same folks who want to ban masturbatory fantasies for young males want to teach young females how to masturbate?

            1. It’s masturbation socialism. Taking from the fap rich and giving to the fap poor.

              1. THEY’RE TRYING TO TAKE MEH (hand)JERBS!

      2. Super powers. Invisible jets. Impossible punches. Unlimited ammo. Those things are all OK. But if you draw a girl with large knockers you’ve crossed a line!

      3. I mean Nothing bad ever happens when SJWs get their way, right?

        Fork you for reminding me. Then kill both processes.

      4. You aren’t entitled to have comics meant for general audiences drawn to meet your very rare sexual fetish. I mean, it’s not like furries or people who get off on balloon-popping expect the mainstream non-porn media to meet their needs. They make their own porn.

        So why are you entitled to have the media meet your needs? Is the author capable of making even that tiny little first step towards self-awareness?

        1. Marcotte? Is that a trick question?

    2. What’s the worst that could happen if these “geeks” were able to write criticisms of your criticisms?

  36. Today on Derpbook, a response to wiki’s perverse incentives article:

    On perverse incentive….
    While many laws, regulations, government programs, etc. have “Monkey’s Paw”-like negative consequences like the examples given in the Wikipedia examples, the slightest bit of forethought or amendment would solve most of these issues. And while I am sure you meant to look at this from the perspective of government regulation and programs, there are probably plenty of examples of these sorts of things happening in the private sector and across the board. To give a few examples of how these “life hacks” to these rules and regulations can be amended or changed to close the loopholes here are the following;

    For the rat bounty….simply add a clause that says any farmed rats discovered would require the bounty hunter to pay double the bounty back for fraud. Granted it might be hard for them to be discovered, but the fear of getting caught would probably discourage the practice.
    On fire departments, pay the incentives to whoever has the LEAST amount of fires in their district.

  37. cont’d

    For the dinosaur bones, pay by the pound instead of the fragment.
    On Medical reimbursements, that ship has pretty much already sailed. We have a for profit health care system, which both parties fought to keep. The only thing that could rectify it is single payer health care like every other civilized nation on earth has.
    On the Bangkok armbands, they seem to have already rectified the problem.
    On endangered species, offer a reward to landowners who report endangered species on their land and offer them a fair, or over market value of their land for preservation. There are plenty of private and non profit organizations that would even back the program like the Nature Conservancy to offset any associated costs to taxpayers. This may create an incentive for landowners to try and introduce endangered species to their land, but the risks would be high and investigating biologists would easily be able to tell if it was just a handful of examples or a viable population.

    1. It’s cute how they think the Endangered Species Act is about protecting Endangered Species.

      1. Especially when the law creates an incentive to kill them.

  38. cont’d

    Earning bonuses for CEOs should all be paid in company stocks that they have to keep for 5 or 10 years before cashing them in. This would prevent them from artificially inflating or manipulating earnings since their financially invested in the company, and would suffer tremendous losses if the company goes bankrupt or crashes. The 5-10 year rule would give them a long term investment incentive as well.

    Most of these things are an easy fix, some would be very difficult, but to semi quote Dr. Ian Malcolm “Humans will always find a way.”

    It’s TOP MEN all the way down.

    1. Well, the writer has used “the slightest bit of forethought” so there’s no way any of these new rules would provide new perverse incentives.

    2. Sometimes I think to myself, “You know, maybe we’re being a bit too hard on progressive types when we assume that they’re addicted to the use of force and that they have no constructive solutions other than the application of greater amounts of force.”

      Reading something like that serves as a nice reality check.

  39. Finally. An article on revenge porn laws that cites actual laws and doesn’t just consist of “nu-uh”

    This lack of scholarship is overwhelming on both sides of the issue.

    The odd thing? It’s on wired.

  40. I think that chick likes to hear her own voice.


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