Taxes

It's Tax Day! Here is Some Comic Relief

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Are you standing in line at the post office waiting to file your taxes? Here are some tax day videos that may provide some comic relief from the agony of writing a fat check to Uncle Sam:

NEXT: Laugh While You Cry on Tax Day

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  1. My taxes paid for the internet these videos are shown on.

    1. I think I’ll go take my dog out for a walk and marvel at all the asphalt and concrete on the ground that would not be there if it weren’t for government and its taxes.

      1. Just make sure you keep your cows at home because that would be a total misuse of government property.

        1. What do you think he is? An anarchist?

  2. “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.”

    –Calvin Coolidge

    1. It always bothered me that Coolidge, whose administration concurred with enormous wealth creation in the country and started no wars or massive social/economic upheavals, is explained to kids in school today as this boring guy who’s not even worth talking about, when he should really be seen as a model of good governance and administration.

      I imagine something bad had to occur somewhere in his presidency, I’m not exactly a Coolidge scholar, but he’s a nice contrast to the stereotypical notion of “great Presidents” where greatness is proportionate to how many people you got killed.

      1. Same as Jimmy Carter – the dereg king.

      2. I imagine something bad had to occur somewhere in his presidency

        Yeah, he didn’t try to go kill enough foreigners or coerce enough people here at home. Historians only give a shit about TOP MEN.

        1. Yep, same with Carter. Coolidge is vastly underrated too.

      3. As far as I can tell his only peccadillo was being anti-immigration and maybe favoring higher tariffs.

        Beyond that the regulatory state was non-existent, he was very pro-cilv rights and gave citizenship to all Native Americans, and restored public confidence in the executive branch after the brazenly corrupt deeds of the Ohio Gang in Harding’s administration.

        1. Immigration is about one step higher on my list than abortion. Meaning it doesn’t even register.

          I’m having a hard time deciding my stance on it. I’m leaning towards open borders being an anarchist position. Not sure I hold with it. That said, it’s probably an economic net positive (as it stands).

          1. If the system wasn’t set up such that everyone has their fingers in everyone else’s pie, then I would be for open borders.

            As it is, I think we should favor letting in people who aren’t going to be parasites on the system – we have enough of those already.

            And that’s a huge generalization about the typical immigrant(sorry). As things are, I don’t see the advantage to letting everyone in.

      4. Yep. What I’d give for a do-nothing government.

        Shit, I’d quadruple their salaries if they’d just agree to stop working.

  3. When you play the game of taxes, you pay or you die.

  4. I couldn’t believe all the “slut-shaming” from the dwarf in the last episode.

    It’s like the creators are trying to make the audience hate the character, so we aren’t too upset when he loses his head in episode 9.

    1. Well, Tyrion needed to send her away. I am presuming this is partly because they don’t want to have the TV character do what Tyrion does to her in the books, especially after building her up to have way more personality than in the books.

      1. I wish the show would have the balls to do that. She is incredibly obnoxious and I don’t buy their relationship one bit.

        1. Agreed, she is pretty annoying. And by building her up like that, it’s almost assured that we don’t get to have what happens in the book, because it would make a lot of fans very shocked at Tyrion. So, they send her away, and get rid of an annoying character at the same time.

          1. Oh shit I haven’t even thought of it that way. I just assumed she’d come back for Tyrions final scene in A Storm of Swords. I mean, they can’t change it that much.

            1. They can’t change the Tywin part much (and would be fools to do so) but can certainly cut the Shae part out. I just can’t see them having the TV Tyrion do what the book Tyrion does. They’ve made him a little too nice for that.

              I’d be impressed if they did it anyway, but I just don’t see that happening.

              1. They really should stick to it. It’s a very important moment for Tyrion.

              2. They won’t change the Tywin part.

                I didn’t mind the change to the Shae part really. Sure, she’s annoying, but either way she’s gone.

                1. If they don’t have Tyrion do the thing Tyrion does, it’ll demonstrate just how fucking stupid the writers are. Seriously, that would be fucking retarded. Where do whores go? They go to HBO and fuck up perfectly good books, that’s where the fuck they go.

          2. I figure she probably never got on that ship.

            1. Isn’t this the second time she was supposed to get on a boat? She has it coming.

      2. Seriously, they’d cheat us out of that? Man, that was probably the most powerful scene in an entire book of really powerful scenes.

        1. And it shows Tywin in a slightly different light. They have to have that scene.

          1. I’m telling you there is no way the Shae part of that scene gets into the show. No way. Not with how they’ve built Shae up, and how popular (and nice) the TV Tyrion is.

            1. My fiance, who watches the show more religiously than I do, said the same thing. You both may be right.

              On the other hand, they could just be making reveal all the more surprising.

              1. Where do whores go?

                I think that’s too much reveal. They’re already deviating like mad from the books, so why not in this case? The TV Tyrion is way less unpredictable and ruthless than the book Tyrion.

                1. I had a hard enough time following one plot when I was reading the books. Two plots… forget it.

    2. He tried to hurt her to make her leave because she would not believe she was in danger. I don’t think he would have said that otherwise.

  5. Tax day is also the anniversary of the Titantic sinking.

    Hmmmmm……

  6. It should also fucking be election day..

    /grumble.

    1. “This great country of ours, even hop fiends get their vote.”-Bill

  7. “We do not sow.”

    – Government

  8. For several reasons we were quite late this year with taxes, and I actually just came from our accountant’s office where we e-filed. OUCH! Obamacare took three large brand new chunks out. Even our accountant, who is about as Left as someone with a business can be (his office is in Berkeley, and free love/60’s memoirs clutter the desk and walls), grimaced as he showed us the new huge bites, such as the 3.8% new tax solely to pay for health care.

    I think as others see these same punches in the mouth, no one is going to forget about the ACA come November elections, no matter what Shreek says.

    1. How many of “you” are there among voters?

      5000?

      1. that’s Democracy for you.

      2. Well, we know how 8% of the voting populace feels about the ACA.

      3. If you are asking if there are about 5000 such taxpayers in the small suburb we live in, I guess you are about right. Nationwide ‘we’ number in the tens of millions.

        1. Six million in the entire country.

          http://www.factcheck.org/2008/…..an-250000/

          And as a group you have voted for Obama 52-48 over the last two elections.

          1. That’s six million households. Guessing that there has to be an average of at least two voters per such household, with adult children in the household balancing out single taxpayers, we can say there is at least 12 million voters in this group — as I said, over 10 million. You said five thousand.

            I know in your mind I should feel guilty for making a decent income but I’m sorry, I don’t. I did college, medical school and residency, so I was overwhelmed and never really made more than minimum wage until I was thirty — when you were in your late 20s getting drunk and getting handjobs from fat girls behind the disco, I was up all night with a patient with unstable blood sugar.

            I still work 80 hours a week to this day, mostly in patient care and research. And my wife works crazy long hours too. So from all this we actually made it into the top 10% of wage earners by middle age. Wow! But I’m sure your confiscatory colleagues will figure out a way to bring us back down to the pack by taking even more, and will start working on snagging our retirement accounts soon, too. Because nobody deserves to make more than a certain amount, correct? Except for certain inner circle pals of the right politicians.

  9. such as the 3.8% new tax solely to pay for health care.

    No such thing – since the prior tax was 2.9%. And it only applies to income over $250,000.

    1. There’s also a surprising new cut in itemized deductions that no one mentioned publicly, and we only learned about today. Once you get beyond a certain point they start only allowing a percentage of your charitable contributions and mortgage interest to be deducted (and the money goes to Obamacare!). We lost the ability to deduct about 40% of our contributions to charity as a result.

      But, I know you are fine with that, Shreek. Because people on the Left never contribute much to charity, because they feel the government should take care of everyone cradle to grave, so there should be no need for charity, right? And those icky churches are considered a charity, and people who go to church tend to vote for the wrong team.

      I will tell you one thing — anyone who says that those of us who actually pay taxes aren’t paying enough can go fuck themselves.

      1. You also lose your personal exemptions.

    2. You are a fuck wad. Yes there is a new 3.8% tax.

      1. No there isn’t. There is a new .9% tax on top of the old 2.9% tax.

        1. Yes there is. You are stupid so you wouldn’t know this.

          http://www.irs.gov/uac/Newsroo…..e-Tax-FAQs

  10. “Submit quietly, serfs!”

    There–I’ve translated all of “Palin’s Buttplugs” posts for you.

  11. Points to Remy for the James Franco reference.

    1. It took the second listen to notice that reference. But I enjoyed it when I did.

  12. I filed my taxes back in February, and the refund was actually deposited the day I left for a weekend in Vegas. I then promptly took my free munny and made another $200 at the craps table. Good times.

  13. This year, as last year, my occupation will be listed as “taxpayer.”

    1. That’s good. I’ll have to do that next year.

  14. Happy Tax Day from the Half-Man

    The richest 1 percent of Americans are now getting the largest percent of total national income in almost a century. So you might think they’d pay a much higher tax rate than everyone else.

    But you’d be wrong. Many millionaires pay a lower federal tax rate than many middle-class Americans.

    Some don’t pay any federal taxes at all. That’s because they’re allowed to deduct from their taxable income such things as large interest payments on mortgages for huge homes, also the costs of business entertainment and conferences (aka vacations at golf resorts), and gold plated health care plans.

    Some also take advantage of tax loopholes that let them park some of their earnings in offshore tax havens like the Bahamas or the Netherlands Antilles.

    And other loopholes that allow them to treat some income as capital gains – subject to a much lower tax rate than ordinary income. If you happen to be a hedge-fund or private-equity manager, there’s a capital gains loophole designed especially for you.

    […]

    Put these all together and you see why Warren Buffet, the second richest person in America, pays a lower tax rate than his secretary, as he readily admits.

    What a lying piece of shit. Saying the rich pay less in taxes is like saying the sky is purple.

    1. Liar remains a liar

    2. Some don’t pay any federal taxes at all. That’s because they’re allowed to deduct from their taxable income such things as large interest payments on mortgages for huge homes

      That’s a damn big home if they can get rid of all their taxes.

    3. Envy. At the end of the day, this all boils down to envy.

    4. Why would we think they pay a higher tax rate? I’d think they pay more taxes, and they do.

      So…

    5. That bit about Buffett was disproven years ago.

    6. Lower rate? Perhaps. Still MORE dollars for identical service.

      Oh, and this.

    7. What’s an Alternative Minimum Tax?

  15. Many millionaires pay a lower federal tax rate than many middle-class Americans

    A millionaire is someone with a net worth of a million dollars, not someone with a million dollar income.

    What a fucking moron.

    1. Hey says “millionaire” like that’s still a lot of money.

  16. Sammy Meemo Diapomns is like way cool!

    http://www.GotsDatAnon.tk

  17. My favorite tax comedy video was from a Canadian TV show about the Canadian Income Tax, but is fully appropriate here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEm_dkqqYQw

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