Taxes

Game of Thrones: Tax Day is Coming!

and |

April 15 is quickly approaching! Watch Game of Throne characters prepare their taxes in Reason TV's latest hit.

Originally aired on April 9, 2014.

Approximately 2:43.

Written and performed by Justin Monticello. Shot and edited by Paul Detrick.

 

NEXT: 3D Printing Will Change Everything

Paul Detrick is a video reporter and senior producer at Reason.

Justin Monticello is a senior producer at Reason.

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  1. Suthenboy

    All men must pay, except they don’t. Only the productive and successful must pay.

  2. Episiarch

    I dealt with my taxes months ago, as much as I hate them. Well, I didn’t deal with them, I had them dealt with for me. And now I can sit back and watch Game of Thrones tonight. I wonder how long before the first of at least 3-5 major character deaths this season. I’m thinking episode 4 will be the first, based on title.

    1. NO SPOILERS.

      1. Episiarch

        I can list all five if you like.

        1. Just to spite you, I’m going to watch Pacific Rim tonight instead of Game of Thrones. Or worse, a meaningless hockey game.

          1. Episiarch

            That’s going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me, so be my guest. You want to know who the first probable death will be?

            1. You, if you don’t shut your cake hole.

            2. Just so it’s not Ygritte.

              1. Episiarch

                She’ll probably be the second. Depends on when the assault on the Wall happens.

                1. You know, if it actually turns out like that, it makes you the biggest dick in the world.

                  1. Episiarch

                    I already am, and you should really read the books.

                    1. I will. But I always watch the movies first. Movies are never as good as the book…this way I’m never disappointed.

                    2. William of Purple

                      It’s a 10 year old book. No longer a spoiler.

            3. Tejicano

              Cool. I already watched the first episode Saturday night Japan time. I didn’t know it was shown here before it is shown in the US. So now I can be ahead of the curve and know what you guys are talking about.

          2. Mickey Rat

            Pacific Rim was on HBO before GoT.

    2. Virginian

      SPOILERS

      I think the first one will be tonight. The nation needs something to rally around, and this death will be one we can all rejoice in.

      1. BiMonSciFiCon

        Dontos?

        1. Virginian

          No. I was right, turns out. God that was satisfying.

          1. Tejicano

            I hated how they were shown pouring molten steel to make the swords. B-fucking-S. I don’t care if they even had modern alloys a sword made that way would be inferior to plain carbon steel forged the right way.

            Just about every culture with a tradition of swordmaking, from Damascus, to the Vikings, to Japan, found that forging together rods or bars into a single blade resulted in the best sword possible. The Japanese even stumbled upon chromium alloys (low percentages but chromium all the same) and still knew to fold and forge for the nest results.

            1. Virginian

              Well in the show, they’re melting down an old greatsword to make two smaller ones. Not sure how you would do that without melting it down.

              1. Tejicano

                The way it would have been done in real life. Heat it up and fold/hammer it into a billet. Then forge it, or pieces of the billet, into new blades.

                As far as I know steel/iron was only melted to liquid form when refining ore. After that, if heated that hot you would lose too much to oxidation as well as losing carbon content.

                1. Virginian

                  But it looks much cooler melting into two molds. And that’s what it’s all about on TV. Looking cool.

                  1. Tejicano

                    I guess this is my personal opinion but I think scenes of forging steel are much cooler. If you have ever done this – forged red-hot steel – you know how cool it feels.

                    I’ve forged a 39 inch bastard sword out of a 4140 steel billet and it’s something I’ll never forget.

  3. Rod: Daddy, what do taxes pay for?
    Ned: Oh, why, everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine… and let’s not forget the folks who just don’t feel like working, God bless ’em.

  4. Carl ?s his privilege

    Repost of HM from earlier today:

    An artist drew 30 different self-portraits of himself, each while under the influence of a different drug/drugs.

    Now scroll down and check out the bath salts one and tell me that isn’t the most fucking terrifying thing you have seen in your life. If that’s where your mind goes while on bath salts, I fully understand the face-eating cannibalism side-effect.

    I had never heard of anyone snorting buspirone (Buspar) before. Weird.

    1. William of Purple

      Bath salts looks like Sloth

  5. Carl ?s his privilege

    IRS misses XP deadline, pays Microsoft millions for patches

    *Shocked face*

  6. Vampire

    Taxes…..We pay them so the government can prevent snakes on the plane, and even for those hippies to smoke that Mary Jane. We pay to prevent daddy from snorting cocaine, and mommy from going insane. If we contribute a little more, they will prevent your drawers from getting a shit stain.

  7. DEG

    Squirrel skin beer coozie

    Let’s see if the server squirrels let this through….

    1. Delightful text with it, too.

      No periods at all, it’s great.

      1. Warrren

        That’s by dezin

    2. Trollo

      Middle Georgia leads the world in repurposed rodent carcasses and beer debubbler technology

      1. Warrren

        Soon the Debubbler technology will be mine! Mine!

        1. Vampire

          No….it won’t.

          1. Warrren

            Ah Vampire, my old friend! I thought after that nasty business in Istanbul you’d be looking to avoid me!

            No matter! You will not interfere with my plans this time! Guards! Seize him!

            1. Vampire

              Sheisser bombs away! Haha I got away, and I shall drink blood for yet another day!

            2. Flatulent Monkey

              Roll for initiative.

  8. Grand Moff Serious Man

    The Nation profiles Seattle socialist Kshama Sawant and her crusade to raise the minimum wage. It contains this

    Although a growing body of research suggests that the benefits of a living wage outweigh the costs, that hasn’t stopped libertarian groups from cranking out doom-and-gloom scenarios in response to Murray’s proposal. “Somebody’s going to have to pay for this,” says James Dorn, a senior fellow at the Cato Institute. “If consumers have to pay higher prices, they’ll spend less elsewhere. Or employers’ profitability will be lower.” Some workers will lose their jobs, he argues, and the ones who are retained will be higher-skilled. The large franchises will be able to weather the blow, in his view, but the move could crush the service industry and small businesses.

    Nobody knows exactly how much money will be thrown into this new battle for Seattle as both sides attempt to frame the terms of the debate. Locker says he wouldn’t be surprised if the figure is in the tens of millions of dollars. After all, this issue has the potential to be a Rubicon of sorts: if Seattle crosses it and survives, it will demonstrate to the nation that the labor market won’t implode and that prices don’t soar through the roof when a living wage is enacted. Suddenly, the national conversation surrounding this issue would take a huge turn.

    And if it fails?

    1. Warrren

      Failure will be redefined as success. And or as an excuse for more X, be it regulations or hatred of the right or the wealthy or whatever…

    2. Suthenboy

      Yeah they should go for it. After all, it has never been tried before and we really have no idea how it will turn out. They could really break some new ground here.

      Go for it Seattle.

      1. Suthenboy

        “Suddenly, the national conversation surrounding this issue would take a huge turn.”

        I have to laugh. It might do just that, but not in the direction they think.

      2. Grand Moff Serious Man

        Unfortunately I think Seattle, like New York, has too much going for it to really implode Detroit-style.

        It has a large tech sector and port, so those will always generate wealth to be looted.

        But certainly unemployment among teens and unskilled workers will go up. Hopefully they’ll make the connection.

        1. Suthenboy

          “Hopefully they’ll make the connection.”

          Clearly you did not read the comments on that page.

        2. Suthenboy

          Here is a sample:

          “I fully support the efforts of Mayor Ed Murray and Councilperson Kshama Sawant in their humane and heroic efforts to save the middle class and bring some semblance of social justice to Seattle. This is a very exciting development that I hope will become the model for the nation. I also hope to someday soon see Councilperson Sawant running for Mayor in Seattle herself and later running for Congress!”

          1. Suthenboy

            On second thought, maybe I am wrong. I just can’t come up with a counter argument to this one:

            “The way to improve the life of all workers in all countries is to end all forms of the exploitation of man by man and eliminate all forms of money as a means of exchange!”

            1. Warrren

              Poverty-inducing higher transaction costs for all!

              1. Sevo

                Warrren|4.13.14 @ 7:25PM|#
                “Poverty-inducing higher transaction costs for all!”

                After the Soviets demolished the Rouble, the workers were reduced to making crude consumer goods in the factories, bribing their way onto trains to get to the villages and trade them for food.
                The GDP fell by something like 75%, but of course, it was the fault of the traders and kulaks!

                1. Warrren

                  Goddamn Kulaks!

            2. PapayaSF

              The way to improve the life of all workers in all countries is to end all forms of the exploitation of man by man

              Under capitalism, man exploits man, but under socialism, it’s the other away around.

              /oldsovietjoke

          2. It’s like something out of a Randian nightmare. I remember a liberal friend of mine complaining the evil villains in Atlas Shrugged were too over the top to be believable…

            She didn’t come close to doing them justice.

            1. Warrren

              Orren Boyle is positivity restrained compared to some of these people.

        3. Warrren

          If I was beginning a business these days I would spend a lot of time beforehand seeing how much of it could be automated. In fact I would only be interested in concepts with few employees but that can expand.

          I would go for the fewest employees possible. That which could not be automated would be outsourced, or I would judiciously use temps. Anything to keep my payroll down. Paying the occasional fees to temp agencies is better than having direct employees, within reason of course.

          1. Sevo

            “Will Online Ordering Really Help Olive Garden?”
            http://www.sfgate.com/default/…..399187.php
            “The Real Reason Why Tablets Will Make Restaurants More Profitable”
            http://www.sfgate.com/default/…..397391.php

            Of course none of this has to do with the slow-boiling ferment to coerce companies to pay people more than they are worth.
            Not a bit!

        4. Sevo

          “But certainly unemployment among teens and unskilled workers will go up. Hopefully they’ll make the connection.”

          Yeah, in four of five years, they’ll point out that the horrible business owners have raised prices so the wages aren’t keeping up! So they’ll have to raise it again!
          And after the forth or fifth try, when U/E gets really nasty, they’ll blame it on the ‘free market’.

      3. BuSab Agent

        They should. It will be an economic boon to the the surrounding communities as Seattle residents flock to nearby non-Seattle towns to shop.

        1. Episiarch

          Yeah, no. I’m not driving to Renton to shop. And I doubt most other Seattle residents will either. Even the Costco is within city limits. This proposal is utterly retarded, but I have a feeling the local businesses will fight hard enough to stop it. And it won’t effect me much either way because I shop at Metropolitan and Trader Joe’s, who already pay their employees a lot.

          1. Warrren

            And there does not seem to be any conveniently placed unincorporated county land that someone could erect a shopping center on.

            They’d just annex it anyway.

            1. Vampire

              My, that’s a mighty erect shopping center you have there.

          2. Vampire

            I find myself saying yeah, no. Are we that evil that we must trick someone making them at first smile ear to ear, only when the no follows do we watch them shed many a tear?

            — Yeah ..woooo hoo. Holy sheisser yaaay. ….., no. Awwww maaaan. Damnit to hell you evil sonofa!!—

    3. Failure will be blamed on the wreckers, led by Goldstein.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    After all, this issue has the potential to be a Rubicon of sorts: if Seattle crosses it and survives, it will demonstrate to the nation that the labor market won’t implode and that prices don’t soar through the roof when a living wage is enacted.

    “Tonight, on World’s Greatest Mysteries: The Unfathomable Arcana of Double Entry Bookkeeping.”

  10. So I saw this on Derpbook today:

    http://m.whitehouse.gov/infogr…..ional-debt

    See how many dishonest and/or misleading things you can find.

    1. Warrren

      HAHAHAHA, not even going to look! You can’t make me!

    2. Carl ?s his privilege

      (2011)

    3. Grand Moff Serious Man

      Dude, you just lit the Shriek signal.

    4. Suthenboy

      Uh….it would be much easier to count the honest parts.

      My favorite – “To make matters worse, the recession meant that there was less money coming in, and it required us to spend even more- on tax cuts for middle class families to spur the economy; on unemployment insurance; on aid to states so we could prevent more teachers and firefighters and police officers from being laid off.”

      1. But that $800 billion went solidly into the Team Blue column where it is supposed to be.

      2. Sevo

        …”spend even more- on tax cuts”…

        Non-sequitur. Naah, let’s be honest; outright fucking lie worthy of Tony or shitpile.

        1. These tax cuts were an expenditure because they were FICA cuts but the loss of revenue to the SS Trust Fund was compensated from the general fund.

          You may learn something someday, Sevo.

          1. From you? Nit fucking likely shit-stain.

          2. How is it possible to spend money on tax cuts?

            If a business has a sale and cuts prices, that’s not the same as handing out cash to everyone who walks in.

            1. Dances-with-Trolls

              Not taking is giving in lefty economics.

            2. I just explained it.

              Your portion of FICA was cut by 1/3 in 2009.

              That would leave the SS Trust Fund deficient that amount. So we borrowed that same amount to replenish the Trust Fund (the cost).

              1. Do you see the difference between taking away less money (what the govt did) and giving money (what the govt did not do)?

                If the tax cut had come in the form of everyone getting checks from the govt in the mail, you might have a point.

                I remember Bush sending out a bunch of checks in 2007. http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITI…..html?_s=PM

                1. The question was, “How do tax cuts COST money?”

                  I answered it. TO REPAY THE TRUST FUND! Not all tax cuts have this burden.

                  This is a simple concept. Sevo, who is just plain stupid – I can understand why he can’t grasp this concept. But you others?

                  1. There is no trust fund- just a bunch of IOUs. The surplus money from payroll taxes was never saved. It was loaned back to the government which promptly spent it on other things.

                    If Social Security ever decides to redeem those IOUs, where is the government going to get the money? They can’t get it from raising taxes or cutting other spending. The only choices will be to default or inflate.

                    1. Teh SS Trust Fund has $4 trillion worth of US Treasuries in it.

                      You can call those IOUs if you like.

                      But the elderly vote (mainly GOP) and they will tax the fuck out of you to collect on those IOUs. You know it too.

                    2. US Treasury bonds ARE IOUs. They are a promise to pay back money later. Chuckie Cheese tickets are worth more.

                      Oh, they’re going to raise payroll taxes to fund this crumbling Ponzi scheme? I sure hope that doesn’t lead to everyone working under the table like in Europe.

                    3. Sevo

                      Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 8:14PM|#
                      “You can call those IOUs if you like.”

                      Yes, shitpile, those with a whiff of honesty would do that.
                      Limy turds, like you, OTOH…

                    4. Mickey Rat

                      If you are $4 million in debt to yourself, how much are your assets worth?

                      Same thing with the SS trust fund.

                  2. Sevo

                    Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 7:59PM|#
                    ‘This is a simple *LIE*. Sevo,’

                    Get fucked.

              2. Sevo

                Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 7:51PM|#
                “I just explained it.”

                You didn’t do anything of the sort, shitpile; you just made up some bullshit.

          3. Sevo

            Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 7:44PM|#
            “These tax cuts were an expenditure”…
            No, shitpile, “up” NEVER equals “down’ to anyone with an IQ in two digits.
            Get fucked with a backhoe.

          4. Suthenboy

            “…tax cuts were an expenditure…”

            You can just stop lying right there. No one here is going to bother reading past that.

            And yes, the 800B went in the blue column followed by lame excuses as to why they had no choice but to to funnel 800B to their cronies and supporters.

    5. That shit is the cold Gospel truth unless you’re a Team Red apologist.

      1. Right on cue.

        Bush added about 4 trillion. Obama has added 3 trillion and hes has another 3 years left.

        1. Sevo

          And Obo’s boots are soooooo tasty to lick since he’s only a little bit worse than Bush!

      2. Because spending can NEVER be cut.

        1. Neither party will do it. But it is only discussed when a (D) is in the White House.

          Amazingly, an (R) president gets a pass on spending cuts (2001-09).

          1. Bush spent too much money. Anybody else here agree?

            1. Yes Bush spent too much money. Agreed. He single-handedly increased the debt by $5T.

            2. People here agree.

              But 99.8% of the GOP mainstream never said a word about Bush spending as it shot from $1.9 trillion in 2001 to $3.5 trillion in 2009.

              1. politicsbyothermeans

                Mr. Buttplug moves the goalposts? Here’s my shocked face.

          2. Vampire

            Maybe from Romney supporters……but you are in the wrong place to look for folks who loved Bush’s war mongering, inflation nation, interventionist presidency. Why don’t they scrap the printing presses and stop the data entries which create money out of thin air? Oh, because folks who espouse Keynesianism believe maybe the next try will work.

            Sadly, they never learned from the damage John Law did before Keynes and his followers were born.

          3. Sevo

            Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 7:55PM|#
            “Neither party will do it.”

            Yeah, shitpile and that doesn’t stop you from cheerleading for the worst of the bunch.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    “The way to improve the life of all workers in all countries is to end all forms of the exploitation of man by man and eliminate all forms of money as a means of exchange!”

    GENIUS

    1. Forward, comrades!

      In capitalism man exploits man, but in communism it’s the other way around.

      -Soviet joke

  12. I like how all the debt from war is Bush’s fault. But the best part is comparing 8 years of Bush to 3 years of Obama.

    herp de derpity herp te terr!

    1. lap83

      Why is it that we always need to spend more on everything, unless someone mentions the debt, then everything that was spent under a Republican president was the problem. Even though anyone with a shred of honesty will remember that the Democrats were screaming for the Republican president to spend more money at the time.

      Almost everything that Bush did was “bipartisan”, but Democrats forget all about that as soon as they need someone to blame.

      1. They also seem to forget that the Democrats controlled both houses of congress from 2006 to 2010.

        Team Red wants to spend money and fight wars, but Team Blue wants to fight wars and spend money. Can’t you see? Team Blue is totally better!

        1. What did the Dem Congress of 2007-09 pass in the way of spending?

          Besides TARP – which Bush/Paulson begged for?

          1. They share responsibility for all the debt incurred in that period, including the wars you have denounced so often.

          2. Sevo

            Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 8:03PM|#
            “What did the Dem Congress of 2007-09 pass in the way of spending?”

            Oh, nothing, shipile! Bush just decided to sign a bunch of checks and Congress went home early!
            What a fucking idiot…

            1. PapayaSF

              They raised the minimum wage, which cost jobs and thus increased various kinds of social spending.

          3. Dweebston

            Besides TARP – which Bush/Paulson begged for?

            But besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, etc etc.

  13. RishJoMo

    Sometimes dude you jsut have to rol lwit hit.

    http://www.GotsDatAnon.tk

  14. Notorious G.K.C.

    “Sebelius says departure was her choice”

    “”The president and I began to talk, you know, after the first of the year,” Sebelius told NBC’s Andrea Mitchell in an interview that aired Sunday on “Meet the Press.” “And I went back to him in early March and said, ‘You know, I’m really optimistic we’re going to meet the targets and the enrollment is good, the site is working well. I think once we finish this first chapter you really should begin to look for the next secretary who can be here through the end of your term.’ And that really wasn’t a commitment I was willing to make. And he knew that.””

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/…..86786.html

    1. And Jimmy Hoffa retired to spend more time with his family.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.

        As far as I know, he is.

  15. Notorious G.K.C.

    Did you know – Sen. Rand Paul is taking requests on Twitter at #DJRandPaul

    He’ll retweet some of the suggestions. He just retweeted Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise.

    Maybe he’ll retweet some of that hippity hop that the kids seem to like nowadays.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man

      A good example of Paul’s sense of humor about himself. He’s doing it because last night Saturday Night Live did a skit about the GOP reaching out to young voters at Coachella.

      Although the skit mostly mocked Paul Ryan and Jeb Bush, it depicted Rand in the background as a DJ.

    2. Ask him what kind of shoe he’d like to see thrown at Hillary. I think an Ugg boot filled with cat piss would be good.

      1. Hyperion

        Soaked in cat piss and filled with concrete.

        1. Vampire

          I vote for a fire boot filled with cat piss and reinforced concrete, covered in horse sheisser

      2. I vote for Birkenstocks.

        I remember a decade or so ago on the Donny Osmond incarnation of Pyramid, one of the celebrities got deperate trying to give clues for “Birkenstocks” and finally gave the clue, “Lesbians wear them.”

        1. Sevo

          …”finally gave the clue, “Lesbians wear them.””

          Uh, Alex, “What are flannel shirts?”
          Did I win? What did I win? I won, right?

  16. Trollo

    They should change the motto from “The Sunshine State” to “Stand Your Ground”.

    People who are attacked by black bears are encouraged to stand their ground and not back away or play dead.

    Florida Woman Survives Bear Attack

    1. Sevo

      “She walked to the patio area where there were five bears eating trash that they had pulled out of the garage, her husband said.”

      Uh, am I missing something? She walked to an area where 5 bears were eating?
      Did they give he a brain transplant while they were at it?

      1. Uh, am I missing something?

        Yeah. The article states that she walked to the patio to get away from the 2 bears that were in her driveway.

        They fucking flanked her.

        1. Sevo

          Not sure:
          “As soon as the children left, Frana, 45, saw two bears in the driveway. She walked to the patio area where there were five bears eating trash that they had pulled out of the garage, her husband said.”

      2. About 10 years ago, I had a family of five bears walk out of the woods and onto the driveway. So I got the camera and went out on the porch (a flight of stairs and a railing above the bears) to get pictures. Unfortunately, there were only four of them congregating not too far away below me.

        That is, until the male came back from around the other side of the house! The cat, who was looking out the window on that side of the house, was eventually found scared up on top of the entertainment unit.

        A couple of days later, two of the bears returned, and I got some blurry photos.

        1. Trollo

          You need shaky video, like with Bigfoot.

        2. Sevo

          “A couple of days later, two of the bears returned, and I got some blurry photos.”

          Black bears are supposedly ‘not aggressive’.
          I’d say you got about as close as I would prefer to get to them, “aggressive” or not.

          1. I was a good 10 feet above them and 20-30 feet away from the other bears when the big male visited, and the male didn’t get that close.

            When just the two came back, I first noticed them when I went to put the dog out on her line after dinner. I went to open the back door, and there were the two bears.

            The blurry phots were taken through a window, which might explain some of the blur.

        3. Vampire

          Pussy cat. You probably had it snipped didn’t you?…cruel dude that you are and all. I hope the cat grabs some shears and shows you how it feels.

          :0P

    2. Irish

      From the comments:

      The story is poorly written. I feel real bad for the lady. Unfortunately; since we continue to invade wild life habitation in our continual selfish over development it is more important than ever that we do our part. I wish that we would PROPERLY DISPOSE OF AND HOUSE OUR GARBAGE! We were in the way of the natural food path of this black bear and others – they roam miles and miles looking for food NOT GARBAGE BUT REAL NATURAL FOOD SOURCE. What they found instead of an Elk or Deer was a stinky unkept garbage pail. They were hungry and found an opportunity. If this human family would not been in the bear families food path THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. THEY ARE CALLED WILD ANIMALS for a reason. STAY AWAY from them. Now unfortunately this WILD ANIMAL WILL BE HUNT AND KILLED FOR DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY. HIS DEATH IS OUR FAULT.

      Yeah, animals never killed each other before despicable human beings invaded their habitats. Prior to the evolution of man, they simply lived in harmony with nature.

      I also like that this person seems offended that the bears had to eat garbage. Poor bears! Thanks to human beings, they’re forced to consume our refuse instead of the filet mignon to which they are accustomed.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    These tax cuts were an expenditure because they were FICA cuts but the loss of revenue to the SS Trust Fund was compensated from the general fund.

    Shreeek thinks there really is such a thing as a “Social Security Trust Fund”.

    That’s so cute.

    One more week ’til the Easter Bunny comes, right?

    1. Hyperion

      It doesn’t matter. On Tuesday, the Blood Moon will kill most of us. A TV evangelist said so, it must be true.

    2. The Trust Fund is a filing cabinet in Parkersburg, WV:

      http://www.fatwallet.com/stati…..s_bond.jpg

      http://www.nbcnews.com/id/7393…..0stBvldUUk

      1. Hyperion

        Look, dude, I’ve been to Parkersburg, WV. The only filing cabinets there are to hold the local meth and xanax supplies.

      2. Sevo

        Yeah, but there’s a lock on it, right?!
        I mean, no one can get in there and spend that money! No one!

    3. Sevo

      This is a guy who claims to be a financial whizz, and he thinks treasuries are something other than IOUs.
      But then he thinks Obo is a wonderful president, too! He actually thinks Obo is better than Bush!

      1. By financial whiz, I think he means that he’s won a few games of Monopoly.

        He might even know the names of some of the guys on those funny green pieces of paper.

        1. Sevo

          I’m afraid it might be “wizz”, like what you do at a urinal.

          1. He was decreasing his liquidity!

            1. Warrren

              He was getting rid of his Urethra Franklins!

      2. By financial whiz, I think he means that he’s won a few games of Monopoly.

        He might even know the names of some of the guys on those funny green pieces of paper.

      3. DK

        This is a guy who claims to be a financial whizz, …

        Palin’s Buttplug|3.27.14 @ 5:37PM|#

        No, I made millions but have managed to piss most of it away.

        1. Sevo

          Palin’s Buttplug|3.27.14 @ 5:37PM|#
          “No, I made millions but have managed to piss most of it away.”

          I’m quite sure there are posters here who have made millions and have kept most of it.
          I’m equally sure if you brag about doing so and losing most of it, you’re a lying piece of shit.

          1. DK

            Yup, either lying about making millions or an idiot for losing it. Either way, it doesn’t instill much confidence in being a self-proclaimed financial genius.

    4. Odds are you collect SS, Brooks – you old geezer.

      1. Dweebston

        That’s it? You’re disappointing.

        There’s only one sin when it comes to forum trolls, and that’s being unentertaining.

  18. Grand Moff Serious Man

    Read this and tell me progressive harping in inequality is nothing more than thinly-veiled envy and resentment:

    The McMansion exists to separate and then celebrate the people who are wealthier than everybody else; this is the transcendent theme on which its crazy, discordant architectural features come harmonically together. This form of development wants nothing to do with the superficial community-mindedness of the postwar suburb, and the reason the giant house looks the way it does is to inform you of this. Have the security guard slam the gates, please, and the rest of the world be damned.

    Inequality is the point of the McMansion, and the McMansion is also, to a certain degree, the point of inequality; it’s the pot of pyrite at the end of the rainbow of shit that we have chosen as a nation to follow. As you enter its soaring narthex of an entrance, keep this in mind: Before you, in the skim-coated drywall greatroom and the monster granite kitchen with its multiplicity of faucets and its Viking stove?this is what it is all about. This is the reward of thirty-odd years of economic policy.

    Amazing how they can project all that they loathe about America and themselves onto an inanimate object.

    1. I spent a good chunk of time explaining to a prog that the poor are not getting poorer. He ended up confessing that it’s just not right for some people to have more than others.

      I used to think that too- then I graduated kindergarten.

    2. Trollo

      Wait, “McMansion” refers to mass produced homes for the bourgeoisie and suburban-dwelling members of the professional classes. The 1%ers don’t live in McMansions. Dual-income civil servants do.My office-manager niece and her engineer husband live in a McMansion. McMansion dwellers don’t fly in their own private jets, they fly coach unless they have enough miles to upgrade to First Class

    3. No thought at all as to what was required to be able to afford such a home. Only envy of the outcome. Fuck those lazy shitbags.

      1. Suthenboy

        That is what they always leave out. The years of paying the dues, of the long hours and personal sacrifices that they themselves would never lower themselves to to get there.

        It is the rational of thievery and envy.

    4. Irish

      Inequality is the point of the McMansion, and the McMansion is also, to a certain degree, the point of inequality; it’s the pot of pyrite at the end of the rainbow of shit that we have chosen as a nation to follow.

      This is a metaphor so inept and useless, a metaphor which fails so profoundly at virtually every task we ask of our metaphors, that if there were a just and loving God, this metaphor would be taken out behind a barn and beaten to death with shovels. It would then be buried in a grave just shallow enough that the local mongrels could desecrate its bones.

    5. Carl ?s his privilege

      The McMansion exists to separate and then celebrate the people who are wealthier than everybody else

      And here I thought people just liked living in nice houses.

      What a simpleton I am.

      1. Irish

        Yeah. No one buys a large house because they like having the space.

        They buy large houses solely to shove their success in the faces of their social and economic inferiors.

        I’d like to point out that Salon actually is essentially a Communist website. People throw the word Communist around too much, but Salon has published pro-Communism articles, buys into literally every Marxist argument, and actually publishes work by people who believe that the only reason anyone buys nice things is to stick it to the poor.

        Salon is the left-wing equivalent of Stormfront and should be treated as such.

        1. Winston

          I’d like to point out that Salon actually is essentially a Communist website.

          Along with Rolling Stone. Hell what Mainstream proggie website couldn’t you claim was Commie?

  19. Jesus fucking Christ, lady! I’m sorry you got maimed, but damnatio memoriae isn’t a thing anymore.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      “With the one-year anniversary of the bombing coming Tuesday, the Boston Public Health Commission has counseled survivors to “do what you want to do rather than what you think you should do.”

      “In tips for coping released last month, the BPHC said: “There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to spend an anniversary or special occasion. Don’t feel like you have to act in a certain way and try not to put the needs of others before your own. Spend the day in a way that will be most helpful to you.””

    2. Notorious G.K.C.

      “With the one-year anniversary of the bombing coming Tuesday, the Boston Public Health Commission has counseled survivors to “do what you want to do rather than what you think you should do.”

      “In tips for coping released last month, the BPHC said: “There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to spend an anniversary or special occasion. Don’t feel like you have to act in a certain way and try not to put the needs of others before your own. Spend the day in a way that will be most helpful to you.””

  20. Notorious G.K.C.

    “WASHINGTON ? President Obama, after avoiding a hands-on role in Middle East peacemaking since the setbacks of his first term, plans to plunge back into the effort, his advisers said this week, starting with an urgent appeal to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02…..e-bid.html

    1. He needs to emphasize that the future does not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6uZFSj_ueM

      1. You can’t begin your peace negotiations by telling them that their “prophet” is a POS pedophile, now can you?

        1. politicsbyothermeans

          Why not?

      2. You can’t begin your peace negotiations by telling them that their “prophet” is a POS pedophile, now can you?

        And that is not a Rush Limbaugh reference!

    2. Sevo

      …”President Obama, […] plans to plunge back into the effort,”…

      Let’s see, he’s run the debt to amazing levels, he’s pushed through a medical-care disaster (which will add to the debt), screwed the economy five ways from hell…
      So, yeah, he needs something else to fuck up.

      1. Warrren

        He’s given up pivoting and turned to plunging! That shows you how serious this is!

        1. Sevo

          But is he now evolving?!
          Can we hope he’s decomposing?

    3. Presidents always seem to try this in their second term, and fail miserably.

      1. Warrren

        He needs to use this one weird trick!

        1. Notorious G.K.C.

          Diplomats hate him!

          (Because he leaves them to die in Benghazi)

          1. Warrren

            Fake sandal!

            1. Hyperion

              Why does it matter now?

            2. Warrren

              er….scandal.

              1. No I liked the original better (very Life of Brian).

        2. Sevo

          Shocking!

      2. Hyperion

        Yeah, but they weren’t black jeebus.

  21. Notorious G.K.C.

    Teacher’s union official in Chicago: Closing or restructuring underperforming schools is “attack on Black schools”

    http://dailycaller.com/2014/04…..is-racist/

    1. Hyperion

      It’s just racism all the way down.

      1. Warrren

        The only reason we even let blacks live here is so we can be racist.

        1. Hyperion

          I thought it was to keep those dirty spics from taking our jerbz.

    2. Repeat after me: racism is Team Blue ketchup- they put it on everything.

      1. Hyperion

        And yet, team stupid will forever prevent anyone from realizing that, by outdoing the stupid of team blue, no matter how impossible that seems to be.

      2. I asked my Jewish pals why they keep voting Dem and they told me because the GOP are Nazi’s.

        1. Hyperion

          I don’t, like, believe anything that you say.

        2. Sevo

          Palin’s Buttplug|4.13.14 @ 9:57PM|#
          “I asked my Jewish pals”…

          Yeah, asshole, as if anyone tells you anything they don’t laugh about later;
          ‘Did you see that dipshit buy that line?! What an idiot!’

        3. Suthenboy

          Someone does not know who or what the Nazis were, and it aint someone’s imaginary jewish buddies.

    3. Irish

      I agree. It is very racist that in a top down hierarchical school system, the people with political pull get to keep their schools while the serfs end up suffering.

      I sure do wish there was some educational proposal which would allow people to choose which school they send their children to and remove the power governments currently wield over low income children.

      Why has no one come up with such a plan?

      1. Dweebston

        VOUCHERS ARE RACIST because they take white kids out of predominantly black-populated schools.

        Also black kids, but… racism.

    4. You can’t spell underperforming without derp.

      1. Sevo

        VERY good!

      2. Nicely done!

      3. Nicely done!

  22. Grand Moff Serious Man

    Well shit: Missouri man kills 3 at Jewish communtiy center

    Three people died Sunday when a gunman opened fire outside the Jewish Community Center and a senior living facility in Johnson County.

    Police arrested the suspected shooter, a man in his 70s with a beard, outside Valley Park Elementary nearby by 2:45 p.m. He smiled and reportedly made anti-Semitic statements as he was led away. Police said the man, who was not from Kansas, used a shotgun in the slayings at the Jewish Community Center. He also had a handgun when he was arrested.

    “We are investigating it as a hate crime,” said Overland Park Police Chief, but investigators are not sure of the motive.

    Media reports identified the gunman as Frasier Glenn Cross Jr., 73, of Aurora, Mo., a small town in Lawrence County, southwest of Springfield.

    Reportedly he called out “Heil Hitler” while being arrested by police.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      “We are investigating it as a hate crime,”

      They’re trying to find out if he killed three people out of hatred as opposed to love.

  23. Vampire

    Whoever wrote that crap article above is the problem. Taxation doesn’t lead to civilized anything. Theft isn’t civil, nor is enforcing it through violence. They make it like there would be armed folks running around confiscating half of everyone’s income if there wasn’t taxation. The govt already does this and more already. They bring up the other nonsense about how there would be no roads, and no anything else if it weren’t for taxation either. It reminded me of a video I had seen about what “not paying taxes does” that explains how beyond reason these folks are.

  24. Grand Moff Serious Man

    According to NBC News, this guy is the shooter

    Frazier Glenn Miller is the founder and former leader of both the Carolina Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and the White Patriot Party, both of which were operated as paramilitary organizations in the 1980s.

    Miller quit high school as a senior to join the U.S. Army. In 1979 he retired from the Army as a master sergeant after 20 years of active duty, including two tours in Vietnam and 13 years as a member of the elite Green Berets.

    Miller claims he read a racist newspaper for the first time in the early 1970s when his father gave him a copy of The Thunderbolt, published by Ed Fields of the racist, anti-Semitic National States’ Rights Party. According to Miller, within two minutes of browsing through the tabloid, he knew he “had found a home within the American White Movement. I was ecstatic.”

    He then joined the National Socialist Party of America, a Nazi group whose members attacked and killed marchers associated with the Communist Workers Party in Greensboro, N.C., in 1979. The following year, due to his involvement with the Nazi group, the Greensboro shootout, and death threats against him and his family, his wife left him and moved with their children to Chicago.

    Probably wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. What a sick fuck.

    1. Suthenboy

      “He then joined the National Socialist Party of America, a Nazi group….”

      The National what?

      1. ~Knarf Yenrab~

        The Nazis weren’t real socialists. Everyone knows real socialists don’t round up their enemies in camps and murder them by the millions.

    2. Calidissident

      I think we found American

      “He is an advocate of white nationalism, white separatism, and anti-Semitic theories; and a critic of homosexuality and Third World immigration into historically White nations.”

      (From Wikipedia)

  25. William of Purple

    HUCKABEE!

    1. Irish

      Wow. Mike Huckabee is a fucking moron.

    2. Grand Moff Serious Man

      Really? Out of all the countries you could have picked to make that point?

    3. Winston

      So I guess Huckabee is a libertarian now? Or at least a Rockwellian.

    4. Virginian

      Oh come on, that’s pretty much a textbook example of hyperbole.

      1. Yeah, I’m seriously not a fan of Huckabee but he picked the least free country on Earth on purpose. Being critical of him for this is silly.

  26. Irish

    This is hilarious.

    I assume it’s already been posted, but idiot sends terrorist threat to American Airlines as a ‘joke.’

    Best tweet. After getting told they were sending her information to the FBI, she said:

    demetria @QueenDemetriax_
    Follow
    I blocked the FBI just in case

    Oh, okay. You blocked the FBI on twitter. Problem solved.

    1. Sevo

      “Oh, okay. You blocked the FBI on twitter. Problem solved.”

      I was just asking for a friend!

    2. Suthenboy

      I was once driving a woman much like her away from her incarceration, which was over, back to her family.

      She had a cell phone that her family had given her and she was babbling away on it for the whole drive. While talking she described how she had called in a bomb threat to a Wal-Mart.

      I stopped the car, got out and called my Captain. I told him what had just happened. He instructed me to drive back. When we arrived there were 4 deputies waiting to arrest her.

      As they were putting her in cuffs she put some kind of juju curse on me.

    3. William of Purple

      SOME THINGS ARE NEVER TO BE JOKED ABOUT

  27. Sevo

    House is worth $50K more empty than with tenants, and brain-dead proggies see that as a “rent-control” success!

    “S.F. landlords offer tenants tempting offers to move out”
    http://www.sfgate.com/politics…..398027.php

    Hint: Don’t rent to anyone under 70.

  28. GoT

    I haz a happy.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man

      NO SPOILERS.

      Seriously, please.

      1. William of Purple

        NO SPOILERS!

        1. Warrren

          Some of the people have swords and there’s a midget.

          1. Dwarf.

            1. William of Purple

              SHUT UP

            2. Grand Moff Serious Man

              Imp.

      2. *zips mouth, turns key, throws it away*

        1. Virginian

          Look, what you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your own business.

  29. Try wrapping your head around this derp:

    The problem (one of many) with Larkins argument is he is not an elected official in any position of leadership or authority. So his example is basically simplified nonsense. If he said he was going to come into your house and rob you, but then in return maintain your house, mow your lawn, fix the stairs and sidewalk and landscaping around your house, protect your house from foreign invaders and fire, and ensure that you receive electricity, food, and water through infrastructure that allows it’s easy transfer, he might have a point. You see for the taxes we pay aren’t just going to a bunch of “lazy freeloaders” who do nothing. A fraction. Of a percentage of our federal taxes go to the poor. A much larger percentage of our federal taxes goes to subsidize the very privatized industries that bring us things like food, fuel, electricity, and water…but we still have to PAY THEM out of our own pockets for the services they provide.

    1. Irish

      A fraction. Of a percentage of our federal taxes go to the poor.

      This is just woefully inaccurate. Most of the infrastructure is paid for by states and municipalities.

      Social security, medicare, Medicaid, and Chip combine for 46% of the federal budget.

      Another 19% is defense. 12% is ‘safety net programs,’ which strangely doesn’t count Medicare and Medicaid. Interest is 6%. That’s 73% of the Federal budget. Most of the rest goes to various government worker pensions, education, etc. Very little gets spent on anything that is reasonably describable as infrastructure or private subsides.

      1. Winston


        Social security, medicare, Medicaid, and Chip combine for 46% of the federal budget.

        Another 19% is defense. 12% is ‘safety net programs,’ which strangely doesn’t count Medicare and Medicaid. Interest is 6%. That’s 73% of the Federal budget.

        Um I think that adds up to 83%.
        Don’

  30. Cont’d

    Giving needy, desperate, destitute, and even lazy people that don’t want to work, the means to survive is essentially society’s payment to them to keep them from having to resort to crime and violence to feed their families. I am not sure who said it, but there is a quote out there that says “Taxes are the price we pay for civilization.” Every single day, no matter who you are, are benefitting from.the collective taxation of US citizens. Whether you walk on a sidewalk, turn on a light, use the internet, eat a candy bar, drive in a car, use a computer, use indoor plumbing, etc. All of these things have been facilitated by the government and would not exist in their current for if not for the organization and incentives the government provides. Perhaps instead of worrying about the crumbs the poor are tossed like so many pigeons behind a bakery dumpster, perhaps we should worry about the guys in business suits repossesing everything in the bakery and foreclosing on the property.

    1. Sevo

      …”is essentially society’s payment to them to keep them from having to resort to crime and violence to feed their families”…

      Figes make the same sort of claim at the end of his history of the Russian revolution; we must keep handing out free shit, since the ignorant peasants don’t understand ethics!
      Well, the ignorant pig’s ass Tony certainly doesn’t, but ya know, I’d rather pay the cops to shoot his ass than pay some stinking protection racket.

  31. Cont’d

    Giving needy, desperate, destitute, and even lazy people that don’t want to work, the means to survive is essentially society’s payment to them to keep them from having to resort to crime and violence to feed their families. I am not sure who said it, but there is a quote out there that says “Taxes are the price we pay for civilization.” Every single day, no matter who you are, are benefitting from.the collective taxation of US citizens. Whether you walk on a sidewalk, turn on a light, use the internet, eat a candy bar, drive in a car, use a computer, use indoor plumbing, etc. All of these things have been facilitated by the government and would not exist in their current for if not for the organization and incentives the government provides. Perhaps instead of worrying about the crumbs the poor are tossed like so many pigeons behind a bakery dumpster, perhaps we should worry about the guys in business suits repossesing everything in the bakery and foreclosing on the property.

    1. squirrels

    2. squirrels

  32. Grand Moff Serious Man

    When keeping it real goes wrong

    1. Wasteland Wanderer

      So he allegedly pulled a blue-steel Intratec .22-caliber submachine gun out of his Gucci satchel inside the convenience store in the 4000 block of West Madison Street where they tried to make him pay it ? and he threatened to kill everyone there, a prosecutor said.

      Everything about that paragraph is completely and utterly ridiculous.

  33. Warrren

    Yahoo has a story of a quashed deal for the Germans to sell tanks to the Saudis. Check out the photo they chose to use.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man

      You know who else offered to give tanks to A-rabs?

      1. Warrren

        Walter Donovan?

      2. Wasteland Wanderer

        George H.W. Bush?

      3. Suthenboy

        Lawrence of Ara….no…never mind.

        1. Dryden: Are you really going to give them artillery, sir?
          Brighton: I was wondering that, sir. Might be deuce difficult to get it back again.
          Dryden: Give them artillery and you’ve made them independent.
          Allenby: Then I can’t give them artillery, can I?
          Dryden: For you to say, sir.
          Allenby: No, it’s not. I’ve got orders to obey, thank God! Not like that poor devil – he’s riding the whirlwind.
          Dryden: Let’s hope we’re not.

  34. William of Purple

    Oh when will I learn not to watch new episodes of The Simpsons?

    1. Winston

      So are they that bad or is it just bitter fanboys taking out their rage on a now mediocre show?

      Anyway I stopped watching about 12 years ago and the only thing I have seen since was the Homer as a Grunge Rocker episode. I’m not sure I would say it was terrible but I get the feeling that I haven’t been missing anything since I stopped watching.

      1. William of Purple

        Awful awful
        Another “30 years in the future” episode.

        Nelson’s mom is 87, and still has to work as a dancer because there’s no more social security.
        Bart: I don’t know how that happens with 99 Democrats in the Senate
        Nelson: That one republican is really good at getting his way.

        AWFUL

        1. Virginian

          See, I see that more as a barb on the Democrats, and their supporters constantly claiming OBSTRUKTIONISM!!!!!

        2. Winston

          Huh another future episode? Along with the episode about Bart’s girlfriends this really gives the feeling that the well has run dry. Interesting that what was once regarded as a strength, a cast that can not age, has become a weakness of the show.

          1. William of Purple

            I know.
            Back in 1990, Skinner being a 40 something Vietnam vet makes sense.
            In 2014? Not so much.

            1. Winston

              Or Homer and Marge obviously growing up in the 1950s and 1960s yet we have Homer being a 90s grunge rocker?

    2. Winston

      Also apparently the idea is to keep the show going past 30 seasons in order to have more episodes than Gunsmoke, a record that will likely not be beaten. Problem is this means that far more episodes are “non-Classic” than “Classic” and I wonder how that will affect the show’s reputation? I mean the show has already been in “This is still on?” territory for some time.

      1. BiMonSciFiCon

        Someone here posted a link to “zombie simpsons” (sorry I can’t remember who) and it’s spot on. Thr simpsons seasons 1-9 was the best show ever. Now it’s something else. It’s got the same characters, but it’s a different show.

  35. Grand Moff Serious Man

    It’s a nice day for a Purple Wedding…

    1. Warrren

      Drank!

    2. William of Purple

      AN excellent vintage.

  36. I think it’s a better day for a nice hunt.

    1. William of Purple

      how is this post 4 hours in the future

      1. Because Reason broke for a little bit & the squirrels time travelled, so far as I can tell.

    2. Grand Moff Serious Man

      So I think I have a great idea for a first date…

      1. YES PLEASE.

        1. William of Purple

          stop

          what is happening here

          a kodak moment?

          1. Something like that.

            1. William of Purple

              I TINGLE WITH GLEE

              1. Vampire

                And I sometimes tinkle pee!

                Other times it’s like geysers from my junk, the stream will scare you so much you’ll hide in your trunk, and open the lid once in a while and say the sex tool in Vampire’s pants is so crunk!

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