Obamacare

Old Man Harry Reid Mimics Your IT Guy Defending Obamacare Site

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Guys, the website to register for coverage through the Affordable Care Act is fine, just fine. The problem is you stupid Americans who don't know how to use the Internet. That's the official position of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) on why the March 31 registration deadline has been extended indefinitely for those who cannot get registered.

Consider this pair of sentences, presented back to back:

"There is no hiccup or delay. We have hundreds of thousands of people tried to sign up and they didn't get through."

There's no hiccup, just people who couldn't register. Don't you people in the media understand basic English? In order to try to connect these two thoughts, Reid, in defiance of the enormous amount of ink spilled and pixels corralled into explaining the many technical problems with both the federal exchange and many state exchanges, blames it on the user:

"There are some people who are not like my grandchildren who can handle everything so easily on the Internet, and these people need a little extra time. It's not—the example they gave us is a 63-year-old woman came into the store and said, 'I almost got it. Every time I just about got there, it would cut me off.' We have a lot of people just like this through no fault of the Internet, but because people are not educated on how to use the Internet."

It's not a technical problem if people get cut off trying to purchase insurance through the exchanges? Really? The question is whether Reid is being disingenuous or if he's just as oblivious about how the Internet works as he claims others to be. I know, I know—false choice.

Watch the short exchange below:   

Then, presumably, he snarled, "Mooooooove," sat down behind the computer, and registered everybody for health insurance himself.

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  1. …..or if he’s just as oblivious about how the Internet works as he claims others to be.

    IT’S A SERIES OF TUBES

    1. I came here to post a Ted Stevens joke, but alas, fish has beaten me to it.

      1. Jesse,

        I assure you that the only thing on my mind when I posted was beating Fist!

        That’s how petty I am.

        1. That’s what being first is all about.

          1. FoE is our sensei.

            *bows deeply to FoE*

  2. “”””We have a lot of people just like this through no fault of the Internet, but because people are not educated on how to use the Internet.””””

    Hey Harry, I don’t think the fault was with the Internet.

  3. I am my IT guy. We’ve been trying to track down the root cause of a performance issue on our site for months. We know something in our setup can’t handle our peak user load, but we haven’t managed to identify the bottleneck. Yes, the problem is on our end, no, we don’t know when it will be fixed. “healthcare.gov” is undoubtedly at fault given the record of the users. Of course, “Srieking Weasel” Ried can’t admit that, because that might lead to an opening of the floodgates and an admission that government isn’t always (or usually) right.

    1. Its the cacheing or the .js libraries for all the whizbang front-end stuff.

      1. Yeah… no.

        I was about to go into a ramble about the structural reasons why that has already been examined and ruled out… but then I got a blip out of my malfunctioning sarcasm detector. Damned model 82s.

        1. You could try shutting down all the servers and turning them back on. Or turning the power button to “on”.

          That’s like half the issues I’ve run across when computers malfunction.

          Yesterday the printer at work malfunctioned. Tried everything I could think of, then my boss came by and jiggled the cord connecting it to the computer, and that was it.

  4. The Senate: showcase for the 100 finest intellects in America.

    1. Here’s the thing: Reid’s a fucking scumbag moron. But so are a number of other politicians. Yet the party chose him to lead them in the Senate. How telling is that?

      1. The same party chose Pelosi in the house; even more evidence.

        1. Ye gods. How did this happen?

      2. Meat for the true believers.

        1. I am sure the Silicon Valley backers of TEAM BLUE turned awfully red in their blushes at hearing this.

  5. Has Reid already forgotten the talking points from late last year? The site is under so much strain given the flood of grateful users fleeing their old, subpar plans and it simply can’t keep up with its own popularity. If anything, it’s too successful.

  6. For the first time I’ve seen it, the Chron ran an edi-cartoon *not* claiming the GOP was to blame for whatever you wish to call O-care.
    It depicted a kid, reading his phone, walking off to the right, with Obo clinging to the kid’s low-rise beltline, dragging in the mud, saying “PULLLLEEEZE!”
    Maybe even the Obots are losing the will to lie.

    1. walking off to the right

      Intentional metaphor or unconscious slip?

      1. Well, Obo was hanging on to the left…

  7. “Mooooooove”

    I swear I haven’t said that it at least the last 24 hours.

    1. ‘ave you tried turning it off and on again?

    2. The PC approach is “you mind if I steer for a while?”

  8. Al Gore is a fellow Democrat. WHo better to call in to fix it than the inventor hisself?

  9. Harry knows a PEBCAK error when he sees one.

    1. I thought he was one.

    2. Yup, a PICNIC scenario if there ever was one.

  10. A little bit of awesomeness:
    One of my buddies took the Kim Jong Un thing to heart. The caption:
    Orders are orders!
    1
    2

    1. The front view actually isn’t that bad, the rear view is unsalvageable though.

      1. I think he is trying to quit his job. This should help.

      2. Isn’t that the John Hurt in 1984 look?

        http://tinyurl.com/the-Orwell

      3. He did go a little bit Moe in the back.

  11. Yet the party chose him to lead them in the Senate. How telling is that?

    This is where the chorus line of top-hatted singing and dancing skeletons emerges from the closet like something out of Fantasia, isn’t it?

    1. It’s like they select their leadership on a dare.

      1. A drunken dare.

        1. “I voted for *who*?”

  12. “There are some people who are not like my grandchildren who can handle everything so easily on the Internet, and these people need a little extra time. It’s not?the example they gave us is a 63-year-old woman came into the store and said, ‘I almost got it. Every time I just about got there, it would cut me off.’

    As an IT guy of many a decade, Harry Reid is half correct. Younger, IT savvy users are able to work around the problems, glitches and bumps of the ACA website, masking the true scope of the problem. The hundred-or-so thousand people who can’t register are the people who hit those glitches, bumps and bugs and get stuck.

    It’s sometimes your less savvy users that highlight or lead you to discover problems in your system.

    1. Younger, IT savvy users are able to work around the problems

      Younger users? That would be welcome news for the Democrats.

      1. You know it’s funny, a friend of mine in my business (rightly) said that “I don’t understand computers” is quickly fading as a valid excuse.

        Even I say, “Younger, IT savvy” and yet I’m not young, yet I’m IT savvy.

        There’s a cutoff somewhere, and I suspect it may be a few years above me as I got into computers… I want to say, just at the hair-tip of the personal computer “revolution”.

        1. I can’t imagine interviewing for any job where it would be acceptable to say “I don’t understand computers”. Sounds like an instant way to “Thanks, we’ll be in touch”.

          1. *** rising intonation ***

            What if it’s against my religion to understand computers?

            1. The it’s unlikely you found our job posting, Amish boy.

            2. “Thanks – we’ll be in touch”

            3. but, in a completely personal rant, it’s totally acceptable for your overpaid boss to say things like that because he’s a dinosaur and that’s cool with everybody apparently. #argh

              1. I luckily have a boss that has an insane amount of tech knowledge stuffed into his fat, bald head.

              2. I had a boss who insisted that slow data transfer over the network was due to the USB cable between the scanner and PC. After trading it out, to no avail, she suggested we “give it time to work.”

                1. To ripen? To set like a broken bone? WTF?

            4. Then run for congress.

          2. Sort of like ‘What are these telephone contraptions?’

            1. Well, they do represent the further erosion of the written word.

          3. Sounds like an instant way to “Thanks, we’ll be in touch”.

            If only!

            Potential Enrollee: “I can’t figure out the internet but… I need to complete a pile of paperwork to get affordable insurance. I need the insurance to see a doctor I possibly can’t afford for a procedure I may or may not need and only understand once the Dr. has explained it in metaphor. There may also be a battery of prescriptions that I’ll be responsible for ingesting in a regimented and timely manner to avoid both my disease(s) and potential interactions or side effects, but I’m not sure. Can you help me?”

            Taxpayer: “Thanks, we’ll be in touch.”

    2. Maybe Reid should have just started screaming RTFM.

      1. But they didn’t read it either before they passed it, why should we?

  13. Actually this is brilliant. Instead of expensive (but under-priced) older Americans getting insurance, the website strategically prevents them while allowing younger overpriced Americans to join. It’s called a feature. Duh!

  14. It’s like they select their leadership on a dare.

    Nice.

  15. You know what pisses me off most about this? They’ve been harping on this deadline for months. Even given the website’s problems, there has been plenty of time for people to sign up. If they procrastinated, screw them. It reminds me of those kids in college that didn’t even carry an 18-credit course load, but who complained and got extensions for projects because they were “too busy”. Whiny little brats. I procrastinate with the best of them, but I also get my shit done or accept the consequences. Grow up and take some damn responsibility.

    1. This.

      Grow up and take some damn responsibility.

      And after that, vote these fuckers so far out they’ll see that new pink planet.

    2. I don’t owe the government a deadline, AFAICT.

      1. You don’t owe the government any money, either, I’ll surmise.

    3. I’m with you, LP. Same experiences in school.

  16. “… because people are not educated on how to use the Internet.”

    What are all those damn Navigators doing, then?

    1. Telling people to lie on their applications.

    2. Folding space

  17. Either that, or, ornately carved above the dais in the Inner Sanctum of the Democratic caucus are the immortal words,

    NOBODY EVER WENT BROKE (OR LOST AN ELECTION) UNDERESTIMATING THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

  18. So, Harry “Ghostcrawler” Reid sez L2P?

    1. TOO SOON.

      RIP GC.

    2. -1 Elemental Shaman buff.

      Are they still the whiniest class/spec combo? I quit playing when Cataclysm ruined everything.

  19. Grandpa Reid and Grandma Pelosi should get their IT savvy kiddies to demonstrate at a press conference just how simple it is to sign up.

    1. At this point they are probably worried about a pre-recorded demo, as there is a chance the power could go out.

  20. It’s just so awesome, guys. So cool. You’ll see when we pass it. Once the exchanges come online. After the website works. Just as soon as the subsidies kick in. Once the penaltax goes out, and more people are compelled to sign up. Once the premiums plateau. Probably not this year, but definitely next April. You’ll see. Maybe.

  21. “There are some people who are not like my grandchildren who can handle everything so easily on the Internet, and these people need a little extra time.

    Blame Al Gore!

  22. I think the website is the least of the problems. The actual insurance rules will be the true nightmare.

  23. Harry Reid is the only person who can make Nancy Pelosi seem sane.

  24. Wait a second. Glitches? I saw a cover on… I think it was Time magazine doing an article on the Smart Guys That Fixed The Obamacare Site.

    1. Would this be the same Time that fellated Geithner and Bernanke for “saving the world” in 2009?

        1. They also made me Person of the Year awhile back.

  25. I guess all the ‘ITS A SERIES OF TUBE!’ comments really got to old Harry and he went back and did some serious studying of the inter net, oh yes he did.

  26. Not sure who the suit was behind Harry, but it seemed like when he put his head down and moved forward a bit, he was doing so to keep from laughing at Reid.

  27. The weird thing is that the 63 year old woman doesn’t seem to be describing not knowing how to use the internet. If she “almost got it” she managed to find the site, enter some information and then “it cut me off”. Note not, “I gave up”, “I couldn’t understand what to do” or “it became confusing” but _it_ cut me off. It being presumably the Obamacare website.

    But let’s suppose that there were people like this, who aren’t very good at using the internet and so can’t sign up. Didn’t we know this beforehand? So why make the entire system depend on internet signups if you know many of the targeted people can’t use the internet?

    Thirdly how come the entire press corp of the US has the internet skills of a 63 year old woman? Because they couldn’t sign up either.

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