Friday Funnies: Russia Reset


Russia Reset

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  1. And you thought the current Secretary of State had a horse face.

    1. Horse? My first thought was that it looked more like a donkey face. You know… democrat and all.

  2. And you thought Gorbachev had a strange birthmark.

  3. And you thought Bok used only one animation style in each cartoon.

    1. And you thought Fisty had only one joke

      1. It’s a joke and a floor wax!

      2. He only has one funny joke. If that many.

        1. Two secretaries of state walk into a bar and order a Napoleon. The bartender asks, “Why the horse faces?” They reply, “We’re secretaries of state.”

          1. Secretariats of State.

            1. Yeah someone else made that joke before and I didn’t want to steal it. But it’s a good one.

  4. Man that jsut looks like its gonna be cool.

  5. Why is there a handle on Putin’s right cheek?

    1. Well, director’s right. Which means left.

    2. And why does he have a nose on each side of his head in addition to the normal nose?

      1. that’s a normal nose? You give Bok too much credit

        1. Bok needs to label the nose.

          1. Why does Putin have a shirt on?

      2. the better to smell American stupidity.

  6. So Putin is manipulating the creepy ventriloquist’s dummy in the middle while Lurch looks on. Deep.

  7. Remember the old video for Genesis’ “Land of Confusion” where the claymation Reagan.wakes up.from a nightmare and fumbles at the.head of.his.bed, where there are two big red buttons, marked “NURSE” and “NUKE” and he hits.the.wrong one?

    The bumbling that video the.White House now. At least he has “more flexib[ility].”

    1. FWIW, it was a puppet, not claymation. The puppets originally appeared on the British program Spitting Image.

  8. Kerry says there will be “serious steps” taken on Monday if Russia.doesn’t back off on Ukraine. I admire his desire to put his all into his.wind-up, but does.he still have any.medals to.throw over the fence at Putin’s house?

    1. there’s always this one

  9. What happened to Bruce Jenner, and why does that woman have a fish for a head?

    1. I thought that was Jay Leno. I’m confused now.

      1. No, it’s definitely *a fish*.

  10. John Kerry’s dead. Undead, undead, undead…

    1. But is that a virginal bride filing past his tomb?

      1. Alone, in a darkened room
        The Count.

  11. Why is that chupacabra yelling at that horse? I neadz moar labelz!

    1. +1

      Oh, and we always NEEDZ MOAR LABELZ!

  12. I really give no credence to Obumble’s ultimatum to Putin. Putin is NEVER going to let his port at Sevastopol go. Aint gonna happen. Obumbles probably doesn’t even realize that is what this is all about. For him, being essentially impotent, to make such an ultimatum is laughable.

    Am I wrong to think Monday will pass and…nothing. Is it possible this idiot could get us into a shooting war with Russia?

    1. Is it possible this idiot could get us into a shooting war with Russia?

      Have they said “All options are on the table”?

      Either way, sure!

    2. Why is Sevastopol.even so.important. Russia of.coastline.along the Black Sea.

      1. Really?

        1. Where is Sochi? Seriously, I’m asking why Sevastopol is the only place Russia can have a warm water port. Does the eastern half of the Black.Sea freeze over?

          Obviously it.would be a huge and.its.facilities, but if the.only reason Sevastopol is important to Russia is.some sort of.national pride BS, that’s not a verygood reason. What am I missing?

          1. coastline is not all you need for a port

            1. That coastline is shallow water area. It can serve shallow draft vessels like military landing craft, but not large deep draft vessels. Also, the instability in that area is worse than invading another country (Chechnya, Georgia).

  13. Is it possible this idiot could get us into a shooting war with Russia?

    I gotta believe there is an adult somewhere in the admin that will tell him getting in a war with Russia is a terrible idea. If they can stop him is another question.

    1. I gotta believe there is an adult somewhere in the admin


      *stops to inhale*


      now, THAT’S funny.

  14. I am pretty sure that is the evil puppet from the Saw film series. Only it’s got a blonde wig, taken out the stupid Marilyn Manson contact lenses, and removed the goth facepaint. PROFIL’D. THAT THING IS WANTED FOR MULTIPLE CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER CHARGES!

    Haven’t figured out the Mac Tonight connection and why he is wearing a Eddie Munster wig and bad makeup. Very suspicious.

    I am concerned for the guy in the Captain Crunch outfit, that this “reset” talk is going to end with the unconsenting rupture of his monster zit.

  15. the left loved to make fun of Reagan and Bush, calling them ‘cowboys’ and such. While each had his flaws, there was also a hidden truth behind the cowboy label that the left refused to see: other countries thought each might be crazy enough to shoot at them, and no one particularly wanted to deal with the US military.

    I am totally against military intervention here, but when you talk about consequences and make assorted threats, they only have standing if there is a belief you might follow through. Who believes Obama would follow through.

    1. Who believes Obama would follow through.

      His caddy?

    2. Ron (not Rand) Paul-style non-interventionism is more cost-effective. If the Swiss didn’t have mandatory service their foreign policy would be perfect.

      My saying is that NAFTA is my foreign policy. Shut and trade I say to the hawks and “patriotic” types. Bring on consumer choice, the hot foreigners and yummy food!

      Piss on the hawks if you believe in small government!

      PS: Libertarians and classical liberals also loved to make fun of Reagan and Bush, calling them cowboys and such. I was more of an ideological libertarian during the Bush years and I didn’t hold back. I’m only brutal towards Obama in private. Some would call me a self-hating Jew because i’ve only been with non-Jews but I do say some, umm, politically incorrect things about Obama. See Hardcore Pawn.

    1. You can’t fool *me*, SS! That’s *cheesecake*!

    2. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
      Slouches towards Lower Manhattan to be born?

    3. Awesome. I may go get deep dish today.

      1. Once you go deep dish…

    4. Reading the article gives me the impression that the average southerner is wordly and well traveled compared to New Yorkers.

      1. Note =

        This piece celebrating the “hot new trend of ‘Chicago Pizza in NY'” is in a Chicago Paper.

        Find me anyone in NY actually giving a fuck, please.

  16. Ow, my eye.

  17. A body in motions stays in motion . . . something, something, something. Let’s waste more resources showing everyone how tiny Obama’s balls are ( I hear Michelle’s ovaries are larger.)

    1. So he’s not hawkish enough for you? Piss on the hawks (which Obama is). NAFTA’s my foreign policy. The Swiss got it right aside form having mandatory service which mostly rogue states have.

      Shut up and trade I say to the hawks.

  18. I don’t get it.

    Needs moar Tsar Nicholas

  19. Wait, what happened? Was there something going on this morning that involved pen on paper and labels? Not enough labels?


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