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A.M. Links: Malaysia Flight Vanishes Without Trace, Rand Paul Wins CPAC Straw Poll, Family Hospitalized After Eating LSD-Tainted Meat

Ed Krayewski | 3.10.2014 9:00 AM

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(pauladeen.com)
  • and the lsd is where?
    PaulaDeen.com

    Malaysia Flight MH370 went missing en route to Beijing over the weekend. Two of the passengers were reportedly on stolen EU passports, and police in Malaysia say they've identified one of those passengers. No trace of the plane has been found yet.

  • Rand Paul won the presidential straw poll at CPAC for the second year in a row.
  • The army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended after being accused by one of his attorneys of sexually assaulting her at a sexual assault conference in Alexandria, Va.
  • 73 students were arrested and four officers were injured while cops tried to break up pre-St. Patrick's Day's festivities at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.
  • A family in Florida was hospitalized after eating meat from Wal-Mart that was apparently laced with LSD.
  • A magnitude 6.9 earthquake hit off the coast of California, but no tsunami is expected.
  • George Zimmerman signed autographs at the Orlando Gun Show, whose original venue cancelled, citing community pressure about the planned Zimmerman appearance.

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NEXT: The Death of the Constitutional Militia and the Rise of the Military-Police State

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    A family in Florida was hospitalized after eating meat from Wal-Mart that was apparently laced with LSD.

    Should we be Leary of buying meat from wal-mart, now?

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hey. You're not FOE!

      Shrugs.

      /bows.

      1. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

        I have a dream that every last person gets to feel like FoE for at least a day.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          I had work that required me to leave my desk, so I couldn't have reason on my offhand monitor.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            I wish I'd stop hitting the wrong button.

            Continuing what I was saying - I made it hard to context today, and oft I will not be able to peer at the Links until 19 to 20 minutes after nine, so I shall never know that victory.

        2. Mickey Rat   11 years ago

          Get better dreams.

          1. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

            And into a better car.

        3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

          That feeling should be the crushing weight of the world or you're not doing it right.

    2. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      Hello.

    3. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      The power has been broken. Let us rejoice!

    4. Slammer   11 years ago

      And it was a pretty good pun, too. I chuckled.

    5. waffles   11 years ago

      Solid. But LSD rapidly degrades under UV light. It's really difficult to ingest by accident. Even if you did, it'd be harmless. I call bullshit.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        Ok I read the blurb, they treated LSD poisoning with a tracheal intubation? What-the-heck? Do any of you weirdos know if LSD causes respiratory depression?

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          I had the opposite reaction - I was definitelu breathing harder, heartrate up. Been a long time, though so...

          1. waffles   11 years ago

            Basically there's no effin way there was LSD in the meat. It probably was undercooked and chock full of bacteria. Sounds like septic shock and a retarded drug scare story.

            1. Almanian!   11 years ago

              I'd be much more inclined to believe what you've described than "TEH DRUGZ" - cause - salmonella everywhere. LSD - not so much.

        2. WTF   11 years ago

          Do any of you weirdos know if LSD causes respiratory depression?

          Not in my experience it doesn't.

        3. Ted S.   11 years ago

          I think the whole point of this story is to gin up a moral panic.

          1. waffles   11 years ago

            But it's so transparent. Brazen even.

        4. Zeb   11 years ago

          No, it doesn't. It's pretty hard to physically harm yourself with LSD by itself.

        5. Tonio   11 years ago

          IANAMD, but have never heard that symptom attributed to LSD, even in the height of Nixon-era anti-drug propaganda.

          Now, respiratory depression is a known side effect of opiate abuse, so I'm guessing really incompetent and/or hysterical medical staff.

      2. Brett L   11 years ago

        You know what I like to do with my LSD? Inject it into a single package of meat at Wal-Mart. I am skeptical.

      3. Emmerson Biggins   11 years ago

        I agree. sounds like bullshit to me.

        I'd think you treat LSD poisoning with a heavy fucking sedative, like the kind that knocks you out, and time.

    6. Jerryskids   11 years ago

      I'm waiting for a follow-up to this story - in my experience from what I've been told, heat destroys acid. Unless they were cooking the meat at room temperature, they weren't tripping on any LSD in the meat. And you don't intubate people who claim they can't breathe because they're a fish and their gills need to be underwater, which is the only reason I can think of that acid would cause trouble breathing in multiple people.

      It did say they had just moved into their new home - was this 'new' in the sense of 'newly-built' or new in the sense of 'newly-rented becaused the former tenants got busted for cooking meth in the house'? I'd be looking elsewhere for the cause of their problem.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        I checked, the melting point of LSD is about 185F and the denaturation point even higher. It is possible that if it were inside the meat, the LSD could be effective. So not impossible, just really, really, improbable.

        1. Don Mynack   11 years ago

          Yeah, this story stinks quite a bit. How about they left the tabs laying out and the kids got into them, so they made up this meat story as a cover at the hospital?

          1. Brett L   11 years ago

            "Not to worry, hon, I've done the research and LSD is perfectly safe for the baby. Our money problems are over."

    7. Mainer2   11 years ago

      There seems to be a lot of drug scare stories since Colorado and Washington legalized pot. BIG heroin stories here in the northeast. That new pharmaceutical pain killer. Now a story about LSD ?

      I may have to adjust my tinfoil hat, but this does seem like an odd coincidence.

  2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    Hello.

    Dunno 'bout you guys but I like my mornings to start with Rex Murphy and some lemon:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZJj3Eg9-hM

    1. Slammer   11 years ago

      Howdy.

    2. gaijin   11 years ago

      There's no disputin' this

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      You actually watch CBC "news"?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Nope.

        Just Rex Murphy and when I get a chance his radio show on Sundays 4-6pm.

        He's a voice of reason in a cess pool of insane left-wingers.

  3. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

    George Zimmerman signed autographs at the Orlando Gun Show,

    They were looking to bait Spike Lee into tweeting the address of the gun show for some free publicity.

    1. Steve G   11 years ago

      What kind of low-info pro-gun douche acutally thought this was a good idea. I mean seriously.

      1. Kevin47   11 years ago

        His case became a proxy battle in the war against gun rights, so the link is pretty clear to me.

        1. Steve G   11 years ago

          Yeah, but the whole 'killing an unarmed black man' angle (and all his subsequent behavior) made him a lightning rod. Adding him to anything just adds fuel to the anti-wingnut fire. I think it's possible, if not preferable to fight for 2A rights without this clown making a mockery of it.

          1. Kevin47   11 years ago

            Well, it's a gun show in Florida, and it's a pretty good bet most gun buyers in Florida think he got railroaded by institutions hostile to gun rights. It is in their business interests to have him on site, I suspect.

            Gun control proponents are anti-wingnut? Hmmmm...

            1. Steve G   11 years ago

              Uh, yeah. "bitter, clingers" ring a bell?

              1. Kevin47   11 years ago

                Right, and they aren't going to back off that sentiment. When you want an innocent man to go to prison because you hope it brings about more gun restrictions, that makes you the wingnut, IMO.

                Progs are stupid on this issue, and really should have no impact on how we behave.

          2. Dweebston   11 years ago

            You're assuming the gun show sponsors are pitching for gun rights specifically. I think they're engendering publicity for their event.

            1. Steve G   11 years ago

              Yeah, you're right, this was about publicity (nearly backfired completely), not rights, but still I get irritated when these people represent gun owners, whether they want to or not.

          3. 110 Lean   11 years ago

            the whole 'killing an unarmed black man' angle

            Ann Althouse, who teaches law at the University of Wisconsin (and has a great blog) says that Trayvon Martin armed himself with the curb.

            1. Steve G   11 years ago

              nice

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        Since the proggies already throughly hate "gun nuts" this won't make things worse on that front.

        However, the publicity is good for the gun show, and presubably they made a pretty penny off of it. Assuming that they charged Zimmerman as they would any other vendor. Wondering if they did flat fee or percentage?

        1. Kevin47   11 years ago

          Sounds like Zimmerman did it as a favor to the gun show organizer, so he probably signed for free.

  4. Rich   11 years ago

    The army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended after being accused by one of his attorneys of sexually assaulting her at a sexual assault conference in Alexandria, Va.

    I believe that should read "Alsexandria", Ed.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      Did someone say "sexual assault"?

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        "sexually assaulting her at a sexual assault conference"

        peppering their article with too much assault.

        1. Steve G   11 years ago

          Trying to mask the taste of irony

        2. Rich   11 years ago

          "I put it on her boobies, too!"

        3. waffles   11 years ago

          Ironic?

  5. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    A magnitude 6.9 earthquake hit off the coast of California, but no tsunami is expected.

    God's way of saying California should be split up.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      I thought it was because teh gais?

    2. Mokers   11 years ago

      I'm moving to Otisville.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Otisville? OTISVILLE!

    3. Rufus J. Fisk   11 years ago

      "learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim.....fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones"

  6. Slammer   11 years ago

    Pennsylvania lawyer draws criticism for ad. Why? FOR MAKING A GREAT AD!

    1. GotOutOfCali   11 years ago

      That was awesome. Thanks Dan!

      1. mr simple   11 years ago

        Did you know he's Jewish?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      "You keep your trap shut."

      Good advice.

    3. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      Great ad! I almost thought it was a "Spoof" ad made for a ethics/ responsibility class. But no! He means it. Pay him now, thank him later.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Lionel Hutz did it first.

        http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35gxsp/

        1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

          That's OK, the pizza box is empty.

    4. Alex   11 years ago

      When you need a criminal attorney.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Two of the passengers were reportedly on stolen EU passports, and police in Malaysia say they've identified one of those passengers.

    I hope their security theater is at least entertaining if not effective.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      They have clearly landed on the "Lost" island and are currently fleeing the smoke monster.

      1. Pope Jimbo   11 years ago

        Well if you get on a plane and you see a big fat guy, a Korean couple, an Iraqui and a dude in a wheel chair and you don't get off you really have no one to blame but yourself.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          There were hundreds of people on the last airplane I was on. I couldn't catalog them all for the cast distribution list.

          1. Almanian!   11 years ago

            It's a trap!

        2. Rich   11 years ago

          So, a big fat guy, a Korean couple, an Iraqui and a dude in a wheel chair walk and roll into a bar ?.

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            ...and the writer has no idea where to go with this set up, the end.

            1. Rich   11 years ago

              Whoa. Sounds like a *challenge*.

            2. Pope Jimbo   11 years ago

              No, the writer swears that this has an excellent punchline. Just bear with him for six years and multiple side joke setups (which will all tie into the final punchline).

              1. Brett L   11 years ago

                "Kimchi? She's my favorite masseuse!"

          2. cavalier973   11 years ago

            ...so then the duck says, "I don't know; I guess he was a lawyer, after all!"

  8. Rasilio   11 years ago

    "Rand Paul won the presidential straw poll at CPAC for the second year in a row."

    I'll be more impressed when he wins the presidential brick poll, then the big bad Warren won't be able to Huffington Post his house down so easy

  9. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    The smell of Warty was strong in the air. The hunter turned, but it was too late...

    You could soon be indentified by your body odor

    It may smell fishy but supposedly our B.O. is unique and constant enough, that we can be tracked with 85% accuracy. It's also less intrusive than retina and fingerprint scanners or a frisking by Fido.

    One variable, disease, diet and mood can alter your aroma so the stench sniffing system isn't full proof. Also, in order for the whole concept to work, everyone would have to surrender their funky fragrance to create a database. Sharing your bouquet may sound invasive, but could it be worse than a TSA frisking?

    1. db   11 years ago

      How is.it any less intrusive? It may be more.convenient, but tracking a person's whereabouts still smacks of invasion of privacy.

      If the police raided a little shack in the.woods and found a detailed log of the.movements of a prominent politician, they would flip the.fuck out. Why.is mass tracking of people any.better? Intent? Phah.

    2. Steve G   11 years ago

      "This is news?!?"

      /Dogs everywhere

    3. Tonio   11 years ago

      You know who else worked on tracking people by body odor?

      1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        STEVE SMITH?

        1. Tonio   11 years ago

          I was thinking of a government security agency.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        Those girls on the Hai Karate commercials?

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          nice

          1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

            agreed - that was good

        2. Tonio   11 years ago

          Honorable mention. Plus bonus since I haven't thought about those for a long time.

    4. Tonio   11 years ago

      Bzzzt. The correct answer was Stasi, the state security agency of the former East Germany.

  10. mr simple   11 years ago

    whose original venue cancelled, citing community pressure about the planned Zimmerman appearance.

    It's good that we collectively have no backbone and bow to the will of the most sensitive among us instead of telling them to suck it up, right? Because that would hurt their feelings or something?

  11. GotOutOfCali   11 years ago

    Bearded, bespectacled Keynesians find Keynesian stimulus works, film at 11.

    http://www.theguardian.com/bus.....mic-growth

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Fuck the IMF. Worse than the Mafia.

  12. Ted S.   11 years ago

    Pam Oliver turns 53 today.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Her hair is all kinda fucked up. Plus - terrible "reporter".

      Happy Birthday, Junior Wookie!

      1. Steve G   11 years ago

        Wookie? I always thought she was a klingon w/ that fivehead...

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          Ooo - yes, I may reconsider. I'd considered her the same as the First Wookie, but...KLingon Forehead is there...

          We'll consider it. Thanks

  13. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    App lets bacon-lovers wake to their favorite smell

    The folks at Oscar Mayer have found a way around that, though - an iPhone app and dongle that will make sizzling sounds and release a bacon scent when your alarm goes off.

    The aroma comes from a diffuser made by Scentee, which uses high-frequency waves to release the aroma of a bacon scent capsule

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      That's make me mad - due to the lack of real bacon to back it up.

    2. Bee Tagger   11 years ago

      If this technology exists, why can't I have smellivision yet?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        They'd have to keep shipping you scent packets full of chemicals. The cost would result in a price with low demand, making it uneconomical.

        Wait until they can generate any scent electronically (by manipulating your brain implants)

  14. Jordan   11 years ago

    Those of you who have figured out how to post from your Android phone, please enlighten the rest of us. Last time I tried it (yesterday), it would just scroll to the top of the page everytime I clicked the comment textfield.

    1. robc   11 years ago

      I figured it out this morning. Desktop site only, not mobile site. And i had to get there via link in page, not chromes "desktop site" option.

    2. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      I'm posting now. Not sure if something changed? I always have to scroll to he top and change to desktop version if Im not already in it. And always have wait a few seconds after scrolling before I try to select anything. Otherwise the page constently shifts and I end up clicking the wrong link. This is definately one of the least phone friendly sites I've been to.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        It does it in Firefox on a laptop, too.

        I think something has changed -- including the addition of more doubleclick-like crap.

    3. db   11 years ago

      Make sure.you.use.the desktop version.of the.page. the.mobile.version.is.shit.

      1. NebulousFocus   11 years ago

        Are you listening Reason?

  15. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    The army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended after being accused by one of his attorneys of sexually assaulting her at a sexual assault conference in Alexandria, Va.

    So it was the wrong type of training session?

    1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

      No more hands on training?

    2. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

      This is how you do it.

    3. Mickey Rat   11 years ago

      That takes some incredible chutzpah or incredible stupidity, probably both.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Assuming he actually did anything. Maybe the accuser is trying to make her career the easy way.

        1. Mickey Rat   11 years ago

          That is not impossible.

  16. Rich   11 years ago

    The so-called 'Wi-Fi refugees' are flocking to the tiny settlement to escape painful symptoms including burning skin, chest pains and acute headaches.

    The joke will be on them when they learn Greenbank is *bathed* in radio energy from outer space!

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Oh noes - insolation! Whatever will we do? Quick - to the underground shelters!

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      But it's natural EMR, so it's good; it's only the artificial sort that's bad. Don't you know anything about hippies?

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        [plays three-card-monty with three bags of photons to see if people can tell which bag contains the evil photons]

      2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        During our tests we found Hippies to be hydrophobic, but not completely water soluble. They also demonstrated a mental disorder called doublethink that made it hard to properly predict their behaviour at any given time.

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Well, the layer of patchouli oil does a good job of creating a hydrophobic monolayer around their skin.

    3. waffles   11 years ago

      Diane said: 'I used to be sick all the time when I lived in Iowa. I was in constant pain.
      'If anyone came near me with a cell phone or a device with Wi-Fi I would be in agony.
      'But since I've moved to Green Banks the illnesses have cleared up.'

      I could mock her, but she's already doing a fine job by herself.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        Maybe she was allergic to corn or flat.

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        I would love to see a double-blind study on this to see whether she can actually detect Wi-Fi frequencies without instrumentation.

        1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

          Science says it's BS:

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.....ty#Studies

    4. Brett L   11 years ago

      I hope they take up West Virginian breeding customs so their genes don't spread beyond the town.

    5. kilroy   11 years ago

      I see a market for selling Faraday cages. Oh wait, they'd need to have money.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        And understand the physics of photons. Which would obviate their purchasing of the device.

        1. kilroy   11 years ago

          Understanding would be optional and unlikely for the target market. If their cell phone and ipad didn't work, all of their psychosomatic symptoms would magically disappear when inside.

          The deluxe version would provide an external dock for the ipad with a cabled interface so they could continue to post on HuffPo, of course.

          1. Brett L   11 years ago

            "You see, the woven metal keeps the evil spirits from entering your body and causing these ill humors."

            1. kilroy   11 years ago

              I'm gonna use that in my kickstarter pitch!

  17. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    A Reprieve, but for Whom?
    ... A January 1994 memo between two Clinton White House aides was included in the 4,000 pages of Clinton-era documents released Friday by the National Archives.

    In it, one aide voiced concern that they wouldn't be able to keep the promise that Americans could pick their doctor and health plan under the health care overhaul proposed at that time.

    The memo said: "We have a line on p. 10 that says 'You'll pick the health plan and doctor of your choice.' This sounds great and I know that it's just what people want to hear. But can we get away with it? Isn't the whole thrust of our health plan to steer people toward cheaper, HMO-style providers? It's one thing to say we'll preserve your option to pick the doctor of your choice (recognizing that this will cost more), it's quite another to appear to promise the nation that everyone will get to pick the doctor of his or her choice. And that's exactly what this line does. I am very worried about getting skewered or over-promising here on something we know full well we won't deliver." ...

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      'You'll pick the health plan and doctor of your choice.'

      What is the meaning of the word 'pick'.

    2. Rasilio   11 years ago

      What are you talking about, with Obamacare "consumers" still get to "pick" their plans and doctors in the same way that North Korean "voters" get to "vote" for their dear leader

  18. Ted S.   11 years ago

    Malaysia Flight MH370 went missing en route to Beijing over the weekend.

    There's this alleged 24/7, and yet you post two-day-old stories?

    1. datcv   11 years ago

      Well, it is still missing...

  19. SugarFree   11 years ago

    Warty Hugeman and The Doomcock of Doom

    Chapter Three

    Warty quickly pulled up the Find My Penis app on the timesuit's display. The Hydra was moving toward the main entrance to The Ball.

    "Freeze," he ordered the suit and jumped to his feet.

    "An exclusion field has been active for the last 250 seconds," the suit told him primly. No time-travel, no tricks like stopping time or recursion hops.

    "How long was I out?"

    "Local reference clock signal comparison indicates that internal sensors were out of operation for 364 seconds," the suit said. It seemed almost contrite. It was time to destroy its higher functions again, Warty only mentally noted. You never want to live inside anything that could develop a sense of humor.

    Warty took stock of his appearance in a giant mirror. The majestic cape was in tatters; it was made to billow and the time on the floor motionless had destroyed it. He ripped it off and threw it in a waste bin. Whoever knocked him out had taken a knife to his cuttleshark pants and his shirt smelled of piss. He stripped it all off. He let the timesuit substantiate into local space.

    "The exclusion field has doubled in area of effect," the suit said. That meant the power supply for must have peaked. Warty glared at the moving dot that represented his penis as it sped away.

    Continue reading

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      I ain't clickin' that linke. Not. Gonna. Doit.

      1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        I. CAN'T. HELP. IT. I. MUST...

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          I'll pray for your already-wasted soul, SS...

          1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

            Whew...It..it is only a portent of the terror to come.

    2. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      Fortunately I smear Purell on my monitor and eyeballs before checking the morning links.

    3. db   11 years ago

      Yay!

    4. Slammer   11 years ago

      Free train trips! Amtrak writer's residency program offered!

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

        How to get laid on Amtrak trains

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          A roll of duct tape is a favorite with regular Amtrak riders ? a little tab can quiet annoying rattles or muffle a too-loud screamer.

          Clickity-clack!

      2. SugarFree   11 years ago

        My one and only trip on Amtrak resulted in food poisoning. And not "I have a tummy ache" food poisoning, but the "fireman-hose watershits while throwing up in a trash can at the same time" sort of food poisoning.

        No thanks.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          That was God's punishment for being a libertarian type and using PUBLIC ROADZ TRANSPORTATION.

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            It was either food poisoning or some virus from the albino African-American toddlers that screamed like they were being skinned the entire trip. Or that canned margarita I had in the bar car.

            1. Almanian!   11 years ago

              Man, you could write a STORY about th....

              *eyes grow huge - runs away*

              1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

                NOW YOU HAVE DONE IT!

            2. Tonio   11 years ago

              There are thing man was not meant to know, Almanian!

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

        Back in '90 I was confined to the smoking car for 8 hours because everything else was full. Took me weeks to get the smell out of my skin. It was like being in a nicotine flavored meat smoker.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          They should have a cologne that smells like smoke.

          1. Rich   11 years ago

            "Like hugging a dirty ashtray!"

    5. Marshall Gill   11 years ago

      I missed chapter 2. Any chance you could post a link to it...what am I saying.

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Here you go...

    6. Tim   11 years ago

      Been buying your steaks at WalMart again Sug?

      1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

        His robot pancreas produces LSD for him.

    7. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      Every chapter of this is better than the last.

      1. db   11 years ago

        Sug has found a groove.

    8. JW   11 years ago

      Tell the abyss to stop staring at me!

  20. Ron Paul's Balls   11 years ago

    Free State update:

    N.H. House passes grow-your-own medical marijuana bill

    http://www.concordmonitor.com/.....juana-bill

    1. Matrix   11 years ago

      Sounds all well and good until DEA agents start pounding on your door and tearing up your stuff.

    2. Mainer2   11 years ago

      Governor Maggie "I smoked in college but it's different now" Hassan has promised a veto.

  21. Slammer   11 years ago

    Dear Media,

    Please stop covering the Malaysian plane story by plastering photo after photo of screaming, crying family members breaking down.
    HTH. KTHXBAI!

  22. robc   11 years ago

    On my way to start of 2 weeks of jury duty.

    1. Nullify
    2. Cops lie
    3. Eyewitness testimony is questionable

    Am I missing anything?

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Expert witness aren't appearing for free.

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      Wait, are you saying you made it through voir dire?

      1. robc   11 years ago

        Nah, just checked in. Last time I made it thru voir dire but didnt get chosen in the random draw.

    3. Rich   11 years ago

      "I'm a commenter at Hit & Run."

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        "Thank you! You're excused..."

        1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

          "You're under arrest. You might be Epi."

      2. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        "Your honor, we would thank and excuse Juror #312"

        /prosecutor

    4. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Forensic science is mostly bullshit.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        Oh, bullshit! I watch CSI and SVU and THEY CATCH PEOPLE EVERY DAY! And it's all forensic science.

        Way to be the Party of Warty!

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        Most forensic "evidence" is produced by state-run labs, so inherent conflict of interest. Also, recent news stories about govt employed lab technicians in those labs faking results.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Annie Dookhan.

          Look her up.

          Deval Patrick is perhaps the worst politician in America who may consider running in 2016.

        2. Marshall Gill   11 years ago

          Two words Joyce Gilcrest.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Dookhan was convicted but Gilcrest wasn't. Am I missing something MG?

            1. Marshall Gill   11 years ago

              I didn't see your post when I posted mine and was replying to Tonio.

              My point was the fact that she wasn't convicted and it happened quite a while ago. Gilcrest's malfeasance had helped placed people on death row. I was agreeing that forensic science was often anything but science.

        3. Tonio   11 years ago

          Thanks to those of you who provided references for this.

      3. William of Purple   11 years ago

        YOU LIT THE TULPA SIGNAL, IDIOT

        1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

          Lick my balls.

          1. Pope Jimbo   11 years ago

            Is that really how you light the Tulpa signal? Or are you just pranking a n00b?

            1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

              Tulpa is too much of a pussy to show himself on weekdays.

    5. db   11 years ago

      If the glove don't fit...

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Check to see if he's wearing an ill-fitting latex glove under it that prevents it from being pulled on properly.

      2. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        ...you must fling a shit?

        /zoo simian

    6. Zeb   11 years ago

      Ask to see the actual statute that the defendant is accused of violating and not just the judge's interpretation of it.

      I hope you get an interesting case where you can do some good (or at least mess with people).

    7. Brett L   11 years ago

      DNA evidence to convict on felony?

    8. Rich   11 years ago

      Ask to visit the scene of the crime.

    9. Ron Paul's Balls   11 years ago

      "lie-detector tests" are especially bullshit.

      1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        Those are not admissible in any jurisdiction I am aware of.

        1. The Laconic Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

          They're admissable on 48 Hours and Dateline. And TVland is the most important jurisdiction of all!

    10. Apple   11 years ago

      Just remember, everybody's guilty of something.

      1. mr simple   11 years ago

        If they weren't guilty, why would they be in court?

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Especially the judge and the lawyers, remember, they're in court all the time.

    11. RBS   11 years ago

      DO you know for sure it's criminal? You might get selected for a two week, brain deadening construction case, in which case may god have mercy on your soul.

      1. robc   11 years ago

        Could be anything.

        1. robc   11 years ago

          There are 40 judges in this building using us as their pool.

          1. Pope Jimbo   11 years ago

            I just visualized you being Bader-Ginsberg's pool boy. That is some Warty pr0n there.

          2. BuSab Agent   11 years ago

            And they WILL pee in the pool...

  23. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    The Demise Of The American Dream (In 2 Charts)
    The painful reality in America: for increasingly more it is now more lucrative - in the form of actual disposable income - to sit, do nothing, and collect various welfare entitlements, than to work....

    ...And that trend appears to be accelerating as more and more men drop out of the workforce...

  24. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Thank goodness the Republicans are out there... hey, stop laughing!

    Kevin Williamson: The Destroyer Cometh
    A dumbed-down Democratic party runs out of ideas.

    The Koch brothers are patrons of Big Ideas, interested in the institutions of a free society and what makes them work. Say what you like about the organizations they donate to ? Cato, Mercatus, the Institute for Humane Studies (my employer for about a year) ? they are oriented toward ideas. I do not expect any Mercatus scholar to host a highly rated cable comedy show in the near future, not even the telegenic Veronique de Rugy.

    I do not much blame the Left for hesitating to talk about Big Ideas. The Left has been losing the Big Idea debate for a generation or more, in no small part because its last Big Idea killed 100 million people, give or take, and not in Mr. Klein's projecting-abstractly-from-a-CBO-study way but in the concentration-camps-and-hunger-terror way. Marxism was the Left's Big Idea for the better part of a century, and its collapse ? which was moral, economic, political, and complete ? left a howling void in the Left's intellectual universe.

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      Yes, yes. This time the massive head injuries will totally outsmart the congenital idiots!

    2. Warty   11 years ago

      What it communicates is the Left's politics of vilification, a longstanding preference that has recently become extremely pronounced, substituting a good-guys-and-bad-guys narrative for the discussion of complex ideas.

      Yes. Yes yes yes. This Williamson guy is sharp.

  25. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    The IRS's behavior taxes credulity
    ...Lerner is, so far, the face of this use of government to punish political adversaries. She knows what her IRS unit did and how it intersects with the law, and for a second time she has exercised her constitutional right to remain silent rather than risk self-incrimination. The public has a right to make reasonable inferences from her behavior.

    And from Obama's. After calling the IRS behavior "outrageous," he now says there is not a "smidgen" of evidence of anything to be outraged about. He knows this even though the supposed investigation of the IRS behavior has not been completed, or perhaps even begun. The person he chose to investigate his administration is an administration employee and a generous donor to his campaigns. ...

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      They tax everything else, why not tax credulity and patience, too?

  26. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Report: UN officials hid overblown global warming estimates
    ...The IPCC's fourth climate assessment in 2007 estimated that the Earth would warm 3 degrees Celsius by the end of the century ? this estimate was in a range of warming from 2 to 4.5 degrees Celsius. But as the 2000s wore on and little warming occurred, climate scientists began to lower their climate sensitivity estimates from 3 to 2 degrees Celsius in a century and only 1.5 degrees of warming in the next 70 years.

    But this revelation was only hinted at in the IPCC's 2013 climate assessment. Instead of lowering their central climate sensitivity measure down from 3 degrees Celsius, the IPCC simply did not give a central estimate and just reduced its lower-bound warming estimate from 2 to 1.5 degrees Celsius. Now the IPCC's warming range for the next hundred years is 1.5 to 4.5 degrees Celsius....

  27. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Bitcoin exchange MtGox 'faced 150,000 hack attacks every second'

    Troubled Bitcoin exchange MtGox was reportedly attacked 150,000 times per second by hackers in the days leading up to its collapse last month.

    The Tokyo-based exchange, which filed for bankruptcy protection in February, was hit with crippling distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) attacks, according to the Yomiuri Shimbun newspaper.

    During DDoS attacks, hackers take control of multiple computers to send a flood of data to the target, causing servers to crash and making websites unavailable.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Jesus Christ almighty, that's a lot of attacks. Ain't that a bitch. I think that's more than Sarah Palin sustains on an ongoing basis.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I presume the attacks came from central banks?

    3. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      Their DB (post-shutdown, I believe) got released (although not the user accounts).

      If you happen to stumble on the zip of it, be careful, there's a malware .exe in it.

    4. Rasilio   11 years ago

      Hmm, and who would stand to benefit from elimination a competing currency.

      Perhaps a Nation State? Maybe even one who viewed the strength of their own currency as a critical National Security issue. Maybe even one with an Agency which has extensive electronic and online capabilities dedicated to ensuring National Security?

      And of course that mythical agency could then use the bitcoins stolen from Mt Gox as a nice little slush fund to engage in activities beyond the pervue of political oversite

  28. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

    Why do conservatives have a hard-on about so called American "exceptionalism"?

    Why is it important to continually remind the rest of the world we are better than them and/or international law does not apply to us?

    Why can't we just be richer and freer and not rub others faces in it 24/7?

    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      I can see you don't know what American exceptionalism means.

      And I won't bother to cure you of your ignorance because it would be a waste of time and energy.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        Very good, Sarc. The next step is when you can resist the urge to post any response whatsoever.

      2. tarran   11 years ago

        Yet you still interact with it.

        You realize that, because shreek lacks sentience, all it knows is that you responded, and that as a result you have fed its delusion that it matters?

        Literally everybody is worse off because you chose to interact with it.

        1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

          Literally everybody is worse off because you chose to interact with it.

          "You, sir, are worse than Hitler nikki!"

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            Now, now, I have it on good authority that Nikki is the worst.

    2. waffles   11 years ago

      What's the point of being rich and free then?

      USA USA USA!

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Well, rich and at least less unfree than most others.

    3. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

      Why do conservatives have a hard-on about so called American "exceptionalism"?

      Ask Theodore Roosevelt and every BigGov liberal prior to 1970.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        I don't see how AE is exclusively 'conservative.' If your "historical dateline' goes as far back as Reagan than yeah. But it has deeper roots.

        Alexis de Toqueville first alluded to American Exceptionalism.

        From that point forward, Liberals were just as eager to use it as well.

        As usual, PB, proves his classical liberal pedigree.

        1. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

          I don't see how AE is exclusively 'conservative.

          "That's the joke."

          It's true that AE has been around for about 200 years, but it didn't really go into overdrive until TR came into office. His promotion of muscular Americanism was essentially co-opted by progressives from Wilson onward, until they became disillusioned with the concept by the late 60s.

          Once Obama came into office, it became cool to promote Big American Things again--witness Maddow's Hoover Dam commercial, a project that would have been litigated into oblivion if it had been proposed today, or the pimping for GM when in previous decades the same social class ignored or vilified the fact that the best selling vehicle in the country was a truck.

    4. Injun, as in from India   11 years ago

      I am an immigrant and a naturalized citizen. I do think that America is exceptional in its tradition of liberty and the overall toughness of its people with respect to their attitude towards government. The constitution is an incredible document. We should all be proud of it.

  29. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    London's Laundry Business

    On Monday, a British civil servant was photographed arriving in Downing Street for a national security council meeting with an open document in his hand. We could read for ourselves lines from a confidential report on how Prime Minister David Cameron's government should respond to the Crimea crisis. It recommended that Britain should "not support, for now, trade sanctions," nor should it "close London's financial center to Russians."

    The White House has imposed visa restrictions on some Russian officials, and President Obama has issued an executive order enabling further sanctions. But Britain has already undermined any unified action by putting profit first.

    It boils down to this: Britain is ready to betray the United States to protect the City of London's hold on dirty Russian money. And forget about Ukraine.

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      Its a great cover the agency for defending against Cthulonic horrors has.

    2. Don Mynack   11 years ago

      Perhaps the Crimeans see Russia, stupid and corrupt as it is, as far less corrupt and stupid as their present government? Because their current government is pretty freaking terrible.

    3. Tonio   11 years ago

      Real stupidity or clumsily-executed leak?

  30. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Betty White on Balls and Vaginas

    Getting Old is the Best!

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      Betty White on Balls and Vaginas

      Well there's a sentence I really didn't need to see.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        Betty White on Balls and Vaginas

        Is this like Betty White on Crack?

        1. WTF   11 years ago

          I think she'd have to be.

  31. Rich   11 years ago

    For all you Prince fans:

    The artist never ceases to wow his audiences, even when he performed in Minnesota in 1985.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      I place Prince among the Top Five popular music songwriters since the 50's. Him and Carole King. And I don't have a 3-5, cause there are so many good ones (Zevon, Townsend, others come to mind).

      But Prince? That man can write some excellent tunes. Prince, my man - nothing compares 2 U....

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        He also wrote some exceptionally filthy lyrics:

        Look here Marsha, I'm not sayin' this just 2 be nasty
        I sincerely wanna fuck the taste outta your mouth
        Can U relate?

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          *makes high pitched, indecipherable noise, spins on heel, starts dancing*

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

            I spit my coffee while reading that.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

          Ah yes, Prince, the master of skank...

          I clocked the jizz from a friend of your's named Vanessa Bet, Bet
          She said you told her a fantasy that got her all wet, wet
          Something about a little box with a mirror and a tongue inside
          What she told me then got me so hot I knew that we could slide

      2. Ted S.   11 years ago

        Prince, my man - nothing compares 2 U....

        Does anything compare 3 V?

      3. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        "nothing compares 2 U...."

        Plagiarizing that bald Irish chick are we?

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          Prince wrote and composed "Nothing Compares 2 U."

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Ah.

            You live.

            You be ignorant.

            You learn.

            Now that you mention it, I seem to recall vaguely they worked together.

            Meh.

            1. SugarFree   11 years ago

              As Treasurer of the Prince Truth Squad, I felt it was my duty.

    2. Apple   11 years ago

      Prince was a genius. I have no idea what he is now but he hasn't written a good song in 25 years, maybe more.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Busy going Medieval taking people to court and shit.

        This is what it probably feels like when doves cry after purple rain falls on them.

        God, that was terrible.

    3. cavalier973   11 years ago

      Lt. Lassiter: "We found prints."
      Shawn: "Was he...in a little red corvette?"
      Gus: "Or under the cherry moon?"
      Lt. Lassiter: "We found fingerprints.

      1. Stormy Dragon   11 years ago

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xmAC9Qu908

    4. So very tired   11 years ago

      Pancakes?

  32. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    What Oracle's Botched Obamacare Site Says About the Future of the Web

    Last September, as it became clear that the site wouldn't be ready for the October 1 launch date, Oregon stopped paying Oracle. The company kept working until last week, when it pulled 100 contractors from the project, demanding $69.5 million for the work it had completed since September. This week, The Oregonian reports, the state agreed to pay $43.9 million of its outstanding bill to get Oracle back to work to finish the project.

    You might think that Oregon officials would have been happy to see Oracle go, considering their $100 million site is still on the fritz. But making the service work properly will likely depend on knowledge held only by Oracle's contractors. Oregon needs Oracle, at least for now. And that's part of the problem: Oregon, like so many other IT customers over the years, is now locked into a contract with a vendor and has few options other than paying the company more or starting the project over from scratch.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The company kept working until last week, when it pulled 100 contractors from the project, demanding $69.5 million for the work it had completed since September. This week, The Oregonian reports, the state agreed to pay $43.9 million of its outstanding bill to get Oracle back to work to finish the project.

      Bending the cost curve by using its monopoly on force to set prices artificially low.

      Walmart is accused of doing this and vilified for it; Big Government actually does it and is considered virtuous for so doing.

    2. JW   11 years ago

      I'm sure it's just a massive coincidence that all of these massive projects that continue to fail spectacularly, are run by slimy old pols.

      The good news is that there won't be any pain for the complete and utter failures. Lt. Gov Anthony Brown, who headed Maryland's $200 million, monstrous clusterfuck, will likely be elected the next governor of the state.

  33. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Fore by two! Tiger Woods hits spectator in the head with opening tee shot... and then hits another minutes later but sends them home happy with autographed golf gloves

    Woods was competing at the World Golf Championships in Doral, Florida
    On his opening tee shot he hit German tourist on the head, drawing blood
    He apologised and gave a signed glove to the man who smiled through pain
    The same thing happened again on 3rd hole when Woods hit fan on shoulder
    Woods finished the round with a six-over-par score, beating just two others

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....loves.html
    That's what you get for watching stupid golf.

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Ha! Recently, some spectator got hit by a ball and then stumbled into a cactus. If they keep this up, I might actually start watching.*

      *No I won't

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   11 years ago

      It's always the Germans

      1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        The Hun is always either at your throat or at your feet.

    3. gaijin   11 years ago

      So Tiger is now reduced to smacking German men in the head with his balls? How far he has fallen since the heady days of doing that to p0rn stars.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        +1 tea-bag

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      "He apologised and gave a signed glove to the man who smiled through pain"

      Was it written in the guy's blood?

      Smiled through the pain, shrieks like little girl, passes out after getting signed autograph.

  34. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Cheat and Eat Food Stamps
    How liberal states are already gutting the GOP's farm-bill reform.

    Under this classic liberal trick, Liheap beneficiaries automatically qualify for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program's "standard utility allowance," which increases their food-stamp benefits. They receive this deduction regardless of how much they spend on energy. Many renters don't pay a dime.

    Democratic state politicians have thus expanded their food-stamp rolls by distributing more federal heating checks, amounting to as little as $1 per year in many states and $0.10 in California. The heat and eat scheme is one reason annual food-stamp payouts have tripled over the last decade to about $83 billion. Taxpayers now help foot the grocery bills for one of seven Americans.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Block grant the money to the states and let them come up with the difference themselves.

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      Many renters don't pay a dime.

      Not to defend the program, but we all know there is no free lunch. Even if they aren't paying the utility bill themselves, they are paying for it as part of the rent. Presumably their landlords charge higher rent to cover the utility costs.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        Yes. This is exactly what happens. Utilities included is always more expensive.

        1. Juice   11 years ago

          Not always. Some landlords aren't that smart.

          1. Brett L   11 years ago

            Quibble accepted.

    3. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

      Better yet, cut back on about 90% of all federal social welfare programs and let the states determine on their own what their citizens need and what they want to do to pay for it. If California wants to enforce a 90% tax rate on incomes over $100K to pay for their food stamp recipients, let them. If Wyoming wants to use oil and gas revenue to pay for this stuff, let them.

      How much cheaper would these programs be if they were administered at the state or even county level rather than by the feds; at least the former aren't allowed to run up debts in perpetuity and would have to figure out ways to pay for all the GIMMEDATs demanded by our various welfare classes.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        How much cheaper would these programs be if they were administered at the state or even county level rather than by the feds...

        I believe that many of the current programs are administered on at least two levels (fed/state, or state/local), possibly on all three levels (fed/state/local). So killing the federal involvement would certainly be a huge savings.

        Anyone have more granular info on how these programs are administered?

  35. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    'This place is a beautiful death trap!': Comedian Kevin Hart jokes about being left terrified of a koala bear during a trip to the wild life centre in Australia

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....ralia.html
    Drop bears?

    1. Slammer   11 years ago

      Harvey Weinstein pleads for tax breaks.

      1. Slammer   11 years ago

        Sorry, that wasn't a reply.

      2. Juice   11 years ago

        It always kills me. If some "teabagger" had done this, they'd never hear the end of it.

    2. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

      I'm afraid of drop bears, and I ain't skeered o' nuthin'!

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Don't worry, they mainly attack tourists.

        1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

          The only way I get to OZ is as a tourist... so they would BE OUT TO GET ME!!!!

          1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

            *would* get to OZ

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I'm reminded of the time Caroline Wozniacki punked the media by claiming she was attacked by a kangaroo.

  36. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Turley: The president's power grab
    Obama is not a dictator, but there is a danger in his aggregation of executive power.

    Not even the power of the purse, which belongs exclusively to Congress, is sufficient to deter the White House. The Obama administration took $454 million from a fund established to help prevent illness and put the money instead toward paying for the federal health insurance exchange. Even leading Democratic members denounced this as "a violation of both the letter and spirit of this landmark law."

    I happen to agree with many of the president's policies. However, in our system, it is often more important how we do something than what we do. Priorities and policies and presidents change. Democrats will rue the day of their acquiescence to this shift of power when a future president negates an environmental law, or an anti-discrimination law, or tax laws.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      It's totally different because Obama is doing it for all the right reasons, while the rethuglicans are doing it for evil reasons.
      hth

  37. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    'Grilling high is now legal. Driving to get the propane you forgot isn't': Colorado targets motorists in hilarious ad campaign after cannabis is legalised

    Ads meant to warn of Colorado drivers of dangers of driving under the influence of marijuana
    Marijuana was cited as a factor in 15% of impaired driving citations so far this year

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....lised.html

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Just because they cited it doesn't mean the people being cited were actually high.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        Or that they were actually impaired.

        People who smoke pot regularly drive when they are stoned. And that fact does not worry me at all.

    2. WTF   11 years ago

      In other words, 85% of impaired driving citations had nothing to do with marijuana.

  38. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

    Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids speaks at Cato:

    http://overlawyered.com/2014/0.....pping-kids

  39. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    Will climate change bring back SMALLPOX? Siberian corpses could ooze contagious virus if graveyards thaw out, claim scientists

    The disease, which causes a painful blistering rash and sometimes blindness and death, was wiped out in 1979
    Some experts fear defrosting bodies in Siberia could potentially begin a cycle of infection, if a person makes contact with remains
    Defrosting bodies are coming to light as a result of global warming, although so far scientists have not found any remains with a virus in them

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci.....tists.html
    Is there anything they won't blame on global warming?

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Note to self: stay out of Siberia.

      OH! I already had that note...

    2. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

      Is there anything they won't blame on global warming?

      Um....let me see....uh... no.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        Yeah, it even causes cold, harsh, winters.

    3. Rich   11 years ago

      defrosting bodies in Siberia

      Nice band name.

      1. The Laconic Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

        More of an album name.

    4. WTF   11 years ago

      Sure, just try to convince the Russians that Siberia warming by a degree or two is a really bad thing.

    5. Brett L   11 years ago

      It seems like this would have been a problem before now... like every spring during the Little Ice Age.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        Since smallpox was still a thing then, it's hard to say for sure that it wasn't. Though as I say below, it seems farfetched. Smallpox clearly can't survive long without a living human host, or we wouldn't have been able to eliminate it.

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Ah, right. I was thinking of bubonic plague.

    6. Zeb   11 years ago

      Sounds like some bullshit.

      If the smallpox virus were tough enough to survive years of burial, I very much doubt it would have been possible to eliminate it so completely from the world. I'm no virus expert, so I could be wrong.

  40. sarcasmic   11 years ago

    State trooper 'accidentally shoots dead his pregnant wife while their two young children were at home'

    JoAnne Miller, who was 22 weeks pregnant, was taken to Mercy Suburban Hospital in Pennsylvania with a gunshot wound to the head on Friday
    Doctors performed an emergency cesarean to try to save her unborn child but the baby died
    Police believe that the .45-caliber handgun accidentally discharged while being handled by her husband, a state trooper of 9 years

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-home.html
    Suuuuuuuuure it was an accident.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Hmmm. What are the Gun Safety Rules? If Occifer Friendly were following them, no one would have been hit, much less killed.

      Dumbass or evil - either way, put 'im in the chair. Fucking pig fucking prick cocksucker above-the-law motherfuckers. Fuck 'em.

    2. Aloysious   11 years ago

      ...accidentally discharged...

      There is no such thing as an accidental discharge.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        TIWTANLW

      2. robc   11 years ago

        You are stealing my bit. Which Im cool with.

      3. Zeb   11 years ago

        Can negligent be accidental? Unintentional discharges are certainly possible, but only if you are doing something stupid.

        1. Wandering Texan   11 years ago

          No. If you fire a weapon with intending to, you did something stupid. If you did something stupid with a gun in your hand, you were being negligent. There is no such thing as an accidental discharge. Know your weapon, know the operation, and follow TNKK like your life depends on it. Because it does.

          1. Wandering Texan   11 years ago

            *If you fire a weapon without intending to do so, you did something stupid.

  41. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Does every female in the mid-20's to approx. 40 constantly talk with the voice fry? Cause judging by this excruciating conference call I'm on, they all do. And I fucking HATE that.

    "Put some goddamned air through your vocal chords, you gravelly piece of shit!!!"

    OK - it's just me...

    *goes back on MUTE*

    1. Jordan   11 years ago

      Pretty much.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      "Creaky voice may provide a growing number of American women with a way to project an image of accomplishment."

      Must I explain *everything*?

      1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

        TIWTANLW

        Just kidding.

      2. lap83   11 years ago

        I've heard that too, but does anyone really associate that voice with anything but knowledge of designer handbags and prenups

    3. Juice   11 years ago

      It's annoying. I thought they are trying to sound sexy maybe? But this trend needs to stop.

    4. lap83   11 years ago

      I'm 30 and I don't, but I mock those who do. So maybe that's just as bad to a casual observer.

      I hate it too. It makes a woman sound like a dumb bitch, IMO.

    5. The Laconic Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

      Thanks a lot. I was unaware of this phenomenon, and now that I'm aware of it, I'm sure it's all I'm going to hear.

  42. William of Purple   11 years ago

    Reading list.

    1. William of Purple   11 years ago

      bonus WWI analogy at the end.

    2. BigT   11 years ago

      Wow, one by Obama:

      "How to Avoid Everything: Irresponsibility made Easy"

  43. Brett L   11 years ago

    The body shapes of world class athletes. Boobs are bad for winning, apparently.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Depends on your definition of victory.

    2. Juice   11 years ago

      Was oiling them up really necessary?

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Yes. Yes, it was.

  44. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    Maddow blames Bush for Russia.

    http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfro...../id/555790

    1. sarcasmic   11 years ago

      Mad cow disease.

    2. Matrix   11 years ago

      It's his fault ObamaCare is failing, too.

      I'm also sure he's to blame for the missing Malaysian plane.

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        The reach of BOOOSH!!!11!! is infinite.

        Hey, did Bush supporters spend eight years blaming everything that went wrong in the world on Clinton?

        1. Matrix   11 years ago

          They blamed 9/11 on Clinton, but that was about it.

  45. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Plane mysteriously vanishes. A desperate media and Security Industrial Establishment frenziedly beat their Terrrrahh! drums.

    Where's the ransom note?

    "The whole point of the Doomsday Machine is lost... if you keep in a secret!"

    1. Tonio   11 years ago

      Ransom notes are only given if they have the plane and passengers. Now, those groups are quick to claim responisibility for anything they've done...

  46. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Police believe that the .45-caliber handgun accidentally discharged while being handled by her husband, a state trooper of 9 years

    Golly, I wonder who the manufacturer of the pistol was.

    1. The Laconic Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

      Don't talk smack about Glocks!

      1. The Laconic Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

        I mean: there's no such thing as an accidental discharge!

  47. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

    This may have been posted before, but I came across this sad tale of animist Limeys from last summer over the weekend:

    Mr Tipping called alerted his partner Ms Mercer and headed to a friend's house - incredibly, with the bullets in his pocket.

    'It seems really stupid now but I didn't realise they could be dangerous, I just wanted to find out what they were. My friend used to live on a farm and told me they were 2.2mm bullets.

    'I came home and looked in the pond for more - then we spotted some really big ones.'

    Ms Mercer added: 'I rang my dad because he used to be in the Navy, and he told us not to touch them because they could be dangerous. He said they could have eroded over time and we should call the police straight away. It was at that point that we started to panic.'

    'It's just mind-blowing,' Mr Tipping said. 'The police told me that they found more rounds of ammunition in our back garden than at the local arms store.'

    1. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

      'It's sad because we love this house and have spent time and effort making it a home. And somebody somewhere has ruined that. I don't want to stay in a house where that kind of thing has been found in the garden. I'm gutted.'

      Mr Tipping added: 'Of course for our family and friends this is a great story, but for us, it's ruined our home.'

      1. Swiss Servator, alles klar?   11 years ago

        Old ammo in pond = building home on ancient, haunted burial ground!!!!!!

      2. tarran   11 years ago

        Of course for our family and friends this is a great story, but for us, it's ruined our home.

        Talk is cheap! Someone should offer to buy the house off of them for 75% of what they paid for it; we'll see how 'ruined' they really believe it to be.

        1. mr simple   11 years ago

          Pair reluctant to continue living in their rented home in Leeds

          Of course they don't own it.

      3. sarcasmic   11 years ago

        Wow. That's a whole lot of stupid right there.

      4. mr simple   11 years ago

        I was going to quote other parts for comedic commentary, but the whole article is ludicrous. Full scale police response with fire department because underwater search was not available? For a tiny garden pond? There are lots of comments mocking but then there are some like this:

        The Equalaowaizer, London, United Kingdom, 8 months ago
        If kids are around the pond needs fencing off, trip bang head on other edge's rocks = disaster.

        Safety first!

    2. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

      fear the mighty 2.2mm bullet.

      1. Isaac Bartram   11 years ago

        I was going to post this above:

        2.2mm rifle rounds

        Boy howdy, I gotta get hold of one of those .087 caliber rifles that shoots those 2.2mm rounds to ad to my collection of obscure weapons.

        Tiny tiny bullets, less than 3/32" in diameter. For shooting mice, I expect.

        But I thought this was a more appropriate place

    3. Tonio   11 years ago

      2.2 mm. LOL.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        So, mouse-shot?

        1. GILMORE   11 years ago

          .22

          I'm going to go back to vomiting now.

    4. db   11 years ago

      What a bunch of pathetic fucking morons. There is nothing else to be said. A fucking gallon can of gasoline presents more of a hazard.

  48. 110 Lean   11 years ago

    The army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended after being accused by one of his attorneys of sexually assaulting her at a sexual assault conference in Alexandria, Va.

    Cut the guy some slack. i mean the poor guy is at a conference for days that is all about sex. Of course he's gonna get horny. How well do you think you would handle that kind of pressure?

  49. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

    Brubaker on the Snake

    A bill that would allow Idaho agricultural operations to use inmate labor when enough workers aren't available has made it to the full Senate.

    The legislation would allow state inmates to work for agricultural employers to produce, harvest or process perishable Idaho farm commodities.

    "This would help us make sure we get our perishable Idaho crops harvested" in the event of worker shortages, said Sen. Patti Anne Lodge, R-Huston, the bill's author.

    The most disappointing quote

    The bill was welcomed by Dan Symms of Symms Fruit Ranch, which grows apples, peaches, cherries, plums, apricots and prunes in the Sunny Slope area.

    Some of Symms' fruit went picked two years ago because of a lack of available labor and the operation struggled to get everything picked last year, he said.

    "It would be a plus for us to be able to have that labor available to us," Symms said. "It's an issue for agriculture in general but for the fruit industry in particular."

    Symms is the treasurer and board director of the libertarian Idaho Freedom Foundation.

    1. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

      a board director

    2. Brett L   11 years ago

      We really are going the way of Rome.

    3. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

      meh...it's paid labor and but doesn't say if it's voluntary or not.

    4. CampingInYourPark   11 years ago

      The bill:

      http://www.legislature.idaho.g...../S1374.pdf

  50. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    the libertarian Idaho Freedom Foundation.

    *pounds head on desk*

    1. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

      Only last fall, IFF's president was decrying government competing with the private sector

      http://watchdog.org/111685/ida.....te-sector/

  51. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    I don't get what is with part of the LBGTetc community about needing new labels for everything. Here's how a dating profile I just came across starts:

    first, I don't use the label 'bisexual' to describe myself but okc only gives you the usual clear cut options to choose from (gay, straight, bi). Though I guess I'm "technically" bi because I like both sexes, I don't identify with any label. Basically, gender is irrelevant to me; if I'm into you, I'm into you, regardless of your sex.

    1. The Laconic Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

      if I'm into you, I'm into you, regardless of your sex.

      Psst. You're bisexual.

      1. tarran   11 years ago

        I.I.U.R.Y.S. would make a great band name.

      2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        Don't put a label on her!

      3. Matrix   11 years ago

        maybe there's some 3rd or 4th... hell even 5th sex we're not aware of.

  52. GILMORE   11 years ago

    "The army's top sexual assault prosecutor was suspended after being accused by one of his attorneys of sexually assaulting her at a sexual assault conference"

    - Confusion over meaning of word, 'Conference' blamed

    In unrelated news: universe implodes due to insufficient available Irony

  53. kilroy   11 years ago

    WTF?

    Google supports #BanBossy from Lean In & the Girl Scouts. Encourage girls to lead.

    When a little boy asserts himself, he's called a "leader." Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded "bossy." Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys?a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.

    1. db   11 years ago

      When I was a little kid, I was branded a "leader" by adults, mainly because they liked me and thought other kids should follow.my example. But I knew it wasn't necessarily true. The.kids who were.the real leaders (that other kids would.follow) were the politicians, who I always shied away.from,

    2. Apple   11 years ago

      That's funny, when my son acts bossy around other kids, I tend to tell him to stop being bossy. I find "stop showing leadership skills" to be too wordy and a little off the mark.

    3. Apple   11 years ago

      I like the picture from the link where the ladies are holding up signs that say, "I'm a leader because..." and one of them has filled out, "why not?"

      Seriously, why should I have to explain to anyone why I think I should be in charge? You tell me why I shouldn't be, asshole.

      1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

        I'm not going to follow you if this is your best argument.

    4. JW   11 years ago

      When I first saw the "Ban Bossy" title, I thought it was an effort to get alpha girls to stop being such manipulative and domineering twats.

      Imagine my disappointment.

    5. lap83   11 years ago

      Generally speaking, dominant boys try to control things while dominant girls try to control people. If it's true that girls are given the "bossy" title more often, that's probably why.

      1. lap83   11 years ago

        Incidentally, I tend to not get along with female managers for that reason. Male managers just tell you what to do. Female managers try to get inside your head.

  54. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys?a trend that continues into adulthood.

    I find this claim to be unconvincing.

  55. R C Dean   11 years ago

    Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up be an arrogant, demanding, entitled little person.

    Bossy is what you get when you cross the idea that being a drama queen is A-OK with the idea that your vast experience of 8 years qualifies you to order people around.

  56. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    first, I don't use the label 'bisexual' to describe myself but okc only gives you the usual clear cut options to choose from (gay, straight, bi).

    Thank you!

    Next.

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      Well yeah, this was a clear case of "hide her profile and move on immediately".

  57. Matrix   11 years ago

    Women who give birth 10 times may have reduced cancer risk

    Okay, ladies, keep on popping out those kids!

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      However, their odds of dying during birth increase tenfold!

      1. db   11 years ago

        Pretty sure that's not how independent trials work, Brett.

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