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Culture

Will the Sochi Olympics Be a Massive Shitstorm? Possibly a Literal One?

$51 billion doesn't buy much plumbing, apparently

Scott Shackford | 2.5.2014 6:15 PM

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We prefer the word "intimate" rather than "gross."
Twitter/G.F.Freznsty

The Washington Post is getting lots of page views and shares of a piece they put together yesterday afternoon aggregating reporters arriving to cover the Sochi Olympics only to discover their quarters are not exactly ready.

What starts as a list of simple, not unusual problems for venues just finishing up – rooms not ready, fallen curtains, et cetera – quickly descends into a hilarious parade of horribles – no electricity, no water, no doors, no heat, no lobby, no floor. The most expensive Olympics in history, ladies and gentlemen!

Over at Grantland, Katie Baker reports on the scene on some of her own experiences, as well as stories that she's heard:

I had yet to eat my breakfast this morning when someone regaled me with a story about a guy staying up in Sochi's mountaintop media hotel cluster who turned on his faucet and watched as sewage spilled out. Last night, a colleague returned to her room after a long day of work to find the door swung open, a set of keys still dangling from the lock. Nothing was stolen, but a TV had finally been installed. It could have been worse: The door to one guy's room was supposedly kicked down by workers trying to put in a cable box.

The tales from the site of the 2014 Winter Olympics go on and on: hotel reservations vanishing, shower rods and curtains nowhere to be found, workers heaving small decorative palm trees off the back of a moving truck and onto the side of the road like paperboys on bicycles.

I arrived at my hotel at the same time as a friendly journalist from Montreal, and when we got to our adjacent rooms (both supposedly temporary until our real rooms are ready), his door handle broke off in his hand. His first souvenir! My bathroom has red Sharpie marks delineating where additional construction should have gone, an unidentified device was attached high up on the wall with masking tape, and there was no caulking. But my hot water works, my pillow is fantastic, and I have lightbulbs, which places me in the top percentile of accommodation privilege. Stacy St. Clair had no water in her room and was told by a receptionist to avoid it even if restored: "Do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous." (A quick side note on the sphinxlike front desk clerks, by the way: I am legitimately infatuated with their unparalleled ability to deliver bad news.)

Baker, though, suspects that once the games actually begin, much of the complaints from journalists will die down as they focus on the actual games. She says the actual venues are beautiful (did she check to make sure they had floors?) and the mood there is festive. We'll just have to wait to see if the opening ceremonies are interrupted by a power outage or if those wacky double-toilets start spewing out geysers of waste.

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NEXT: Teh Internet is Full of Cool Things: Author! Author! Edition

Scott Shackford is a policy research editor at Reason Foundation.

CultureWorldOlympicsRussiaCorruptionSportsTourism
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  1. Hugh Akston   11 years ago

    Guys it's pretty clear that they built the public bathrooms with no partitions to eliminate the possibility of turning them into glory holes.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      I thought that was completely obvious.

    2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

      I hadn't even thought of that. Why would they want to ruin the olympic experience so?

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        How could you not have thought of that, but I immediately did? Oh my god, I really am the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown.

        Dee Reynolds: Why would you want to have sex with someone you can't see?

        Dennis Reynolds: Well, Dee. I think the real question is: why wouldn't you want to have sex with someone you can't see?

        1. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

          Have you seen the doritos commercial?

          1. Episiarch   11 years ago

            What Doritos commercial? I don't watch commercials, I have this thing called a "TiVo".

            1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

              Have you tried Tivo's out of home streaming yet?

              1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                That requires a Roamio (I just recently bought a Premeire, so fuck that) or some other additional device, so...no. I don't really need that anyway; if I'm out, I read on my Kindle.

                1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                  They enabled it for premieres in 2014.

                  I tried watching my shows in Hawaii, not enough bandwidth...

                  Tivo Stream (the device is around $100, no monthly) is supposed to work with android devices sometime in the 1st q 2014, otherwise you have to use an Apple device. I have a waterproof case for my iPad, and it's awesome to use in the hot tub....

                  I wouldn't say I "need" it either, but that's true of most of my toys.

            2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

              TiVo, what is this? 2002?

              1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                Tivo made a huge comeback circa 2007. I can stream shows downloaded from usenet to my Tivo using pytivo, and I can extract recorded shows from the Tivo a number of different ways.

                Oh, and I modified the hard drives on my Tivos so that I can store about 1000 hours of HD content.

                I should buy some Tivo stock.

                1. Jarl ? the booty   11 years ago

                  Bro, do you even MythTV?

                  ...to be fair, it's kind of a PITA.

                  1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                    If I were single and lived in an apartment, I would. Now, I have a media closet.

                2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

                  Good luck with that, some quick research shows that TiVo subcribers peaked in 2006 is about half of that now. My UVerse has come with a dvr as part of the service for over 6 years now. Couldn't imagine paying extra for TiVo in addition. Right now I'm up to being able to record or watch 4 HD streams at once. It probably doesn't hold 1000 hrs but its certainly more than I need.

                3. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

                  Well and my TV itself can already stream shows from my laptop. I'm just not sure what extra services TiVo provides, even with user hacks like you (which most subscribers won't be doing).

              2. Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

                Kindle, what is this? 2013?

        2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          Yeah, I had thought we were always joking about that, but you do seem to have out-gayed me today.

          1. Episiarch   11 years ago

            I win!

          2. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

            Nah. He just outwhored you.

            1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              He outwhored me in the category gloryholes. Doesn't that double dip as out-gaying as well?

    3. playa manhattan   11 years ago

      Yeah, a full blown orgy is much better.

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        If you have too many people in a bathroom it looks suspicious when someone shows up to use it and three people pour out. In a perfect world these bathrooms would be down a long hallway with a noisy doorway so that folks would have plenty of notification that someone was coming, or two doors.

        These bathrooms could maybe be appropriate for quicky two-somes.

        1. SusanM   11 years ago

          A shocking lack of imagination for you 🙂

          1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

            Meh, my town posted the names, mugshots, home towns and dates of birth of 18 people who were arrested for bathroom sex two years ago. I like my sex in non-standard places as much as anyone, but I'm habitually overly cautious about it.

            Hilariously the city is getting sued by one of the guys because he claims he was there keeping an eye on an autistic kid and not cruising the bathroom.

      2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

        The Olympic Village is pretty much an orgy as people begin to finish their events.

  2. MikeP   11 years ago

    ...workers heaving small decorative palm trees off the back of a moving truck and onto the side of the road like paperboys on bicycles.

    Not only are paperboys on bicycles heavy, but they are also as bulky as decorative palm trees.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      this is a very good point

      +1 internets to you, sir

    2. PD Scott   11 years ago

      "TWO DOLLARS!"

      1. MikeP   11 years ago

        Aaaaaaaaa....

  3. Almanian!   11 years ago

    "I....AM....in a world...of shit ...."

    /Private Pyle

  4. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

    The door to one guy's room was supposedly kicked down by workers trying to put in a cable box.

    That sounds like a quintessentially Russian way of accomplishing a task.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      In Soviet Russia, cable box installs YOU!

      1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

        The uptick in those jokes may be the worst thing about these Olympics.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          In Russie, jokes uptick YOU!

          1. CE   11 years ago

            In glorious mother Russia, lord of the former and future glorious Soviet Union, Olympics medal YOU.

        2. Hugh Akston   11 years ago

          They have a lot of competition in that category.

        3. Episiarch   11 years ago

          I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of worst things about these Olympics, and I'm not talking about nicole. Well, maybe a little.

          1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

            Well, we are tossing around the word "worst." She was bound to come up.

    2. Las Vegas Plumber   11 years ago

      That's pretty funny.

  5. playa manhattan   11 years ago

    "I am legitimately infatuated with their unparalleled ability to deliver bad news."

    I would imagine that they get lots of practice.

  6. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Did any of you think that MAYBE - just MAYBE - they design the toilets this way so that people can exchange Pokemon cards more easily while doin' their bidness?

    I rest my case...

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      If you get shit on your holographic Charizard, does it lose value?

      1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

        It gains value, actually.

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          Really?!?

          (gets out holographic Charizard, roll of toilet paper)

    2. CE   11 years ago

      Russians are used to dealing with shortages. The two-seat-per-stall design makes it a lot easier to pass the TP if one side runs out first.

      1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

        Sounds like things haven't changed all that much since I was there in '84.

  7. 0x90   11 years ago

    "We'll just have to wait to see if the opening ceremonies are interrupted by a power outage or if those wacky double-toilets start spewing out geysers of waste."

    That could well result in a complete and utter barf-o-rama.

  8. AlmightyJB   11 years ago

    Look. They all have EQUAL shitty accomidations. Thats whats important. No inequality.

    1. Tony   11 years ago

      Yeah modern Russia, the poster boy for socialism.

  9. Bretzky   11 years ago

    NBC has to send Yakov Smirnoff to Sochi to anchor their Olympics broadcasts. This is a comedy gold mine waiting to happen.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      In Russia, gold mines YOU!

      Back to you, Bob Costas!

  10. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

    A possible plus I could see from this is people maybe realizing how awful socialism is at accomplishing anything.. Yeah, who am I kidding, people won't make that connection.

    1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

      Of course not. Because socialism has gone away and Putin is actually a conservative. Therefore, Russia today is what America will look like in 10 years if we vote conservatives or - shudder - libertarians into power.

      1. SusanM   11 years ago

        lol. Putin and his cronies (who pocketed all the money that was supposed to go into the construction) are basically just communists who don't even pretend that they give a shit about "the people" anymore. It's the best of both worlds.

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      I would characterize post-soviet Russia as kleptocracy/oligarchy with the trappings of democracy.

      1. CE   11 years ago

        So basically, Somalia with money?

    3. flye   11 years ago

      So media types are discomfited, and a kleptocratic regime is exposed and mocked. It's schadenfreude Christmas!

  11. Almanian!   11 years ago

    Really? Pokemon cards? Nobody? Really?

    Sheesh...

    1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

      -1 pokeball

    2. Sarg221   11 years ago

      In Soviet Russia, Pokemon cards trade you!

  12. Raven Nation   11 years ago

    And the accommodations could pale if bombs start going off. Know some folks from Russia and from Georgia and the scenarios are endless. Most think the Olympic events themselves will be safe. But, there are fears that there will be so much security in Sochi that bombs could go off elsewhere. Another scary one is that you have to take a train ride of 30 mins to get from most hotels to the events & the trains could be vulnerable.

    And, that's not mentioning all the false flag ideas some people are suggesting.

    1. Tonio   11 years ago

      And what a great way for state actors to embarrass Putin while letting him blame troublesome domestic ethnic/religious/sexual minorities.

      1. Raven Nation   11 years ago

        One of the "false flag" variations is that Putin knows about an attack but will let it take place in order to crack down on some of those minorities.

      2. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Glitter bombs with rainbow fuses that make all the corpses fabulous. Bear bombs wrapped in hairy flannel and twink bombs that make you do coke all night until your heart explodes. Drag bombs that spread deadly clouds of concealer and eyelash glue and closet bombs that are my dream boyfriend but he cries every time I take my clothes off, what is wrong with me? And the worst ever, stealthy bombs that act just like normal people and just want to live their lives in peace. So dangerous.

        Leave Russia alone, you homocidal manassiacs!

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          Oh shit, NutraSweet got into the maraschino cherry juice again. Somebody get the Thorazine and a crash cart.

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            I SUPPORT OPPOSITE SPECIES PET MARRIAGE!

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              Who has the goddamn Thorazine?!?

              (struggles to hold NutraSweet down)

              Does anyone have a crowbar?

              1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                I sort of expected you to have 'tard strength, Epi. I'm a little disappointed.

                1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                  And NutraSweet doesn't? They do cancel each other out, you know.

                  (whacks NutraSweet in the head with a bottle)

                  There, there. Shush.

            2. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

              You ODed on pet fox this morning, didn't you?

  13. GILMORE   11 years ago

    RUSSIA IS COMMITTED TO DEFEATING INDIA IN THE "WORST INTERNATIONAL SPORTING EVENT HOST OF ALL TIME" CONTEST

    They have a *seriously* long way to go. but they WILL TRY!

    http://www.businessinsider.com.....010-9?op=1

    Seriously, read that. The highlights were the "outbreak of Dengue Fever" and the bridge collapse.

    We think maybe Brazil will put up a strong showing for FIFA; they've already had some riots!

  14. CE   11 years ago

    Reminds me of the his-n-hers love toilet skit from SNL a few years ago...

    I get a kick out of the pampered journalists whining about not getting 4-star treatment. Oh, you have to put up with stinky water, stray dogs and bees in your food while you're GETTING PAID TO TALK ABOUT THE OLYMPICS ON A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME VACATION TO RUSSIA? Cry me a frozen river.

    Did these guys never go camping as a kid? It's a skiing and skate-boarding contest, not a Mitt Romney-class equestrian competition or polo match. So you have to rough it for a few weeks. Go get drunk with a few athletes from the Scandinavian women's team, since I won't be there to do it.

    1. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)   11 years ago

      Sorry I have to vent: How come there is not such a thing as snow polo?

      1. SusanM   11 years ago

        There is. It involves 10 Russians and a roll of toilet paper.

  15. Lady Bertrum   11 years ago

    80 years of communism plus Chernobyl left the Russians a mutated bunch of freaks.

    1. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)   11 years ago

      Chernobyl's in Ukraine

      1. Lady Bertrum   11 years ago

        It was in the Soviet Union. duh.

    2. C. S. P. Schofield   11 years ago

      The Tsars' Russia had a reputation for comparable failures of comfort. The Russian Empire has been a fairly shoddy place for a loooooong time.

  16. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

    Fuck it's cold. -16 and it's not dark yet.

    I just took my Beam and Coke with me out to the tub. It was sitting on the edge for 5 minutes when I went to take a sip it had frozen over.

    1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

      Too much coke, obviously.

      1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

        Yeah, except I've never been accused of putting too little booze in my drinks.

        I was really surprised.

        1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          I'm accusing you now.

        2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          Did you add ice while you were still inside?
          (I'm asking because I have no concept of what -16 is)

          1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

            Yeah, it was in one of those insulated aluminum tumblers, had ice in it but was about 2/3 full. Tipped it to my lips and nothing came out. Had to break it with my finger to get to my mudders milk.

            1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

              Montana: More than 1 use for isolated coffee cups.

              1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                *insulated*

    2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

      Not to be a dick, but here is my monthly forecast.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        Sounds about right, we needed some rain this month. Although I don't trust a weather report that's forecasting 3 weeks out.

        1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          There are going to be thunderstorms here on the 24th. The science is settled.

          1. wareagle   11 years ago

            a storm of consensus swirled about --

      2. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

        Tonight A slight chance of flurries before midnight, then a slight chance of snow showers. Partly cloudy, with a temperature rising to around -19 by 5am. North wind around 5 mph becoming calm. Chance of precipitation is 10%.

        1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          You'll have plenty to brag about this summer. Meanwhile....

        2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

          When your temperature rises to -19, you know it's fucking cold.

          1. MSimon   11 years ago

            Centigrade or Fahrenheit? At -40 they are equal.

  17. playa manhattan   11 years ago

    Well, g'night kids. My kids turns 6 today, so we're headed to Round Table Pizza where I'm gonna drink beer and cheat on skee ball until I have enough tickets to win something awesome.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      I hope for your sake the kid doesn't order deep dish.

  18. Bo Cara Esq.   11 years ago

    Richard Levy Argues Against New Food Stamps Regulation

    "A lot of people a lot of the time underestimate how burdensome, onerous, and intrusive complicated bureaucratic rules and regulations are. They casually treat the only cost of a rule as the cost to bad people of not doing whatever the rule prohibits, which isn't a cost at all. But in order to have effect, rules have to be enforced; efforts have to be made to detect violations and monitor performance on an ongoing basis. This is a burden on the whole class subject to the rule, not only those who were going to break it...

    The point being, the new farm bill: USDA will need to ensure that illegal immigrants, lottery winners, college students and the dead cannot receive food stamps and that people cannot collect benefits in multiple states...

    How can states ensure that no one is collecting food stamps for a dead household member? The answer has to involve paperwork and bureaucratic supervision or in-person monitoring by social workers or, in all likelihood, both.

    And so poor people will be subjected to another set of forms, another set of inspections, another set of surveillance and monitoring, another set of insults, another risk of false findings of guilt, for trivial financial savings."

    http://bleedingheartlibertaria.....egulation/

    1. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)   11 years ago

      "Subjected"? Is someone forcing them to apply for food stamps?

      1. Tony   11 years ago

        After all, only people are capable of coercion. Hunger is a valid lifestyle choice.

  19. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

    Cutting it a little close on the Independents thread, aren't they?

  20. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

    Guess this is it.

    INDEPENDENTS ASSEMBLE!

    1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

      Nevermind. Go to the late posted thread.

  21. PapayaSF   11 years ago

    "Sergei, the plans say there should be two toilet stalls here, but we never got any doors or partitions."

    "Shut up, Dimitri, and just install the damn toilets."

  22. Boehm Houle   11 years ago

    OMG - a Scott Shackleford article that wasn't on gay marriage. It was a total breakaway to toilet stall partitions. He's got his 'A' game going now...

  23. MSimon   11 years ago

    Gaza is flooded with sewage:

    http://www.palestinechronicle......spiracies/

    A Russian export? Nope. They use sewage pipes to make rockets.

    http://sweetness-light.com/arc.....am-rockets

    1. PapayaSF   11 years ago

      Those wacky Muslims!

  24. RishJoMo   11 years ago

    Let the crapstorm begin oh yeah!

    http://www.Anon-Works.tk

    1. Griffin3   11 years ago

      Wow. Anonobot is picking up hir game.

    2. Griffin3   11 years ago

      Wow. Anonobot is picking up hir game.

  25. croaker   11 years ago

    It's apparent that very little has changed in Russia since Robert Heinlein and his wife Virginia went there in the 1960. His description of his six months in the USSR are in various places in his book "Expanded Universe."

  26. cheap kits   11 years ago

    Did any of you think that MAYBE - just MAYBE - they design the toilets this way so that people can exchange Pokemon cards more easily while doin' their bidness? good idea,sir

  27. playa manhattan   11 years ago

    RETARD ALERT

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