Snowden Nominated for Nobel Prize, Atlanta Becomes Frozen Hell, House Passes $1 Trillion Farm Bill: P.M. Links

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  • Snowden isn't responsible for nearly enough deaths to get the Nobel Peace Prize, right?
    Credit: Anubis3

    Two Norwegian politicians have nominated Edward Snowden for the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize. They should ask to transfer over the one they gave to President Barack Obama.

  • The cold weather has turned Atlanta into an apocalyptic landscape about which several comparisons to The Walking Dead have been made.
  • The Supreme Court ordered a temporary stay of the execution of a Missouri man. Opponents are pointing to the state's lack of transparency about the drugs they're using to execute prisoners as a problem.
  • The House has passed the $1 trillion farm bill. It cuts food stamps slightly and one farm subsidy but expands the crop insurance program.
  • Egypt will be putting 20 Al Jazeera journalists, including four foreign reporters, on trial for aiding members of the now-banned Muslim Brotherhood as Al Jazeera correspondents.
  • A White House petition demanding the deportation of Justin Bieber has reached the threshold of 100,000 to garner a response. I was going to suggest that 100,000 folks should prepare for disappointment, but given the Obama administration's reputation for deporting people, they may get what they want.

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  1. A White House petition demanding the deportation of Justin Bieber has reached the threshold of 100,000 to garner a response.

    Deport the coppers who made shit up. (In addition.)

    1. Rufus J. Firefly

      Hello.

      Late.

      I know.

      Fuck off.

      1. gaijin

        SO you are coasting after Canada's first place in the morning links, eh?

    2. Aresen

      Sorry America.

      "No Return more than & days after delivery date."

  2. Grand Moff Serious Man

    The cold weather has turned Atlanta into an apocalyptic landscape about which several comparisons to The Walking Dead have been made.

    Isn't cold one way to stop zombies?

    1. Tell that to the White Walkers.

      1. Tonio

        Those are magical zombies, Fist. TWD zombies are disease zombies aka Romero/Falci zombies.

        1. Real world zombies, then. The kind with ripe melon heads and steel trap jaws.

    2. Episiarch

      Would that make the Great White North a haven from zombies? Isn't it already full of them? There's nothing worse than Canadian zombies.

      1. Tonio

        For Romero zombies, yes, since they are generally not exothermic.

      2. Mad Scientist

        Not true. Canadian zombies don't go on and on about curling.

      3. Quebecois zombies are worse than the regular old Canadian ones.

        1. paranoid android

          "LE CERVEAU...LE CERVEAU...grrrr..."

          1. Rufus J. Firefly

            Don't forget Inuit Zombies.

            1. Pavlov's Cat

              OK, look out for anything moaning, "Qaqisaq!"

      4. jesse.in.mb

        I got stuck behind a Canadian driver of Asian extraction last night at LAX. I would've preferred the Canadian zombies.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly

          Oh. Fuck. Sorry.

        2. montana mike

          D.W.A, common in Seattle...

      5. I HATE Canadian zombies.

        1. Pavlov's Cat

          "Brains, eh?"

    3. Lady Bertrum

      Everyone knows the best way to kill a zombie is a crossbow arrow through the skull. The arrow head should, preferably, be made of dragon glass.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man

        Of course. But zombies get slower in cold temperatures, don't they? Of course they pop up like daisies during the spring thaw, but that's a separate matter.

        1. Ska

          In TWD lore, yes, the cold makes the zombies more sluggish.

    4. The woman who writes Libertarian Homeschooler on FB has been detailing her family and neighbors spontaneous actions to help stranded commuters coming out of ATL. Its like the community doesn't need overwhelming government management to form spontaneous, ad hoc, voluntary organizations to help people.

      1. NoVAHockey

        it's clearly some sort of trick. she's going to bill them for service or gouge them somehow.

        1. Right. Instead of sitting in their comfortable home, they were going out with hot drinks and charged cell phones and inviting people who weren't equipped/able to walk home to stay the night so they could use them as slave labor.

          1. Auric Demonocles

            Kidney harvesting.

            1. Don't forget the corneas!

              /organ broker

              1. Lord at War

                Didn't you watch the SOTU last night?

                We need livers!

  3. Two Norwegian politicians have nominated Edward Snowden for the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize.

    In unrelated news, two Norwegian politicians have been droned to death.

  4. Pompey

    LAME.

    You can take your "messaging" campaigns and shove them up your ass, President Empty Suit. How fitting that the venue blows, just like you.

    1. gaijin

      Wait. I thought he read 10 letters a day before bedtime?

      1. Sevo

        Yeah, A, B, C, etc.

        1. gaijin

          ^lol

  5. Grand Moff Serious Man

    Two Norwegian politicians have nominated Edward Snowden for the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize. They should ask to transfer over the one they gave to President Barack Obama.

    The one Obama has is all carved up with notches.

  6. rts

    Justin Trudeau removes senators from Liberal caucus

    Justin Trudeau has expelled from his caucus every single Liberal member of the upper house and has declared there is no longer any such thing as a Liberal Senator.

    The Liberal leader said the former members of the Liberal Senate caucus will sit as Independents, and they will have no formal ties to the Liberal parliamentary machinery apart from through their friendships.

    1. John

      I guess the "liberal brand" isn't so hot anymore up there in Canuckistan.

      1. rts

        Well, that, but his reasoning is this:

        "The Senate was once referred to as a place of sober, second thought. A place that allows for reflective deliberation on legislation, in-depth studies into issues of import to the country, and, to a certain extent, provide a check and balance on the politically driven House of Commons.

        "It has become obvious that the party structure within the Senate interferes with these responsibilities."

        Trudeau proposed the Senate should be made non-partisan, to better serve Canadians. He suggested an "open, transparent, non-partisan process" that would see all senators named to the Red Chamber sit as Independents.

        1. John

          Funny how partisans get all non partisan once the public kicks their sorry asses out of power.

        2. I swear this comment wasn't here while I was typing up mine!

        3. Rufus J. Firefly

          There's a Senate audit in the aftermath of a few spending scandals.

          So...he's just showing he's trying to clean it up.

    2. I presume this is part of some plot to do away with the Senate as it's currently constituted?

      and they will have no formal ties to the Liberal parliamentary machinery apart from through their friendships.

      So Justin Trudeau is codifying the Grits' corruption, then.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        His father was not above 'games' and the Liberal brand has been hit quite hard over the years.

        Problem is, Harper is not exactly an endearing personality and is not without his own issues.

        Not as bad as the left paints but a problem likely during election time.

  7. Irish

    Man who lied to congress claims that any reporter reporting leaks by Snowden is a criminal accomplice.

    1. gaijin

      Why does anyone listen to what this liar has to say about anything?

      1. Corning

        Cuz what ever comes out of his mouth will probably be the excuse our government uses to kill Snowden and silence anyone who complains about it.

        1. gaijin

          good point. depressing one, but good.

    2. GILMORE

      ""Snowden claims that he's won and that his mission has accomplished. If that is so, I call on him and his accomplices to facilitate the return of the remaining stolen documents." Mashable then reported a DNI spokesman said Clapper meant "anyone who is assisting Edward Snowden further harm our nation through the unauthorized disclosure of stolen documents." The spokesman would not elaborate further"

      I think his point is,

      "if you're an accomplice, you should confess now and accept our protection, because once we start killing off people connected to Snowden we can't be blamed if you happen to pip our radar. *You Have Been Warned*"

      I sincerely believe that as the admin gets on shakier and shakier ground, there's more of a chance Snowden gets whacked.

      He himself said so. I get the feeling there's increasing impatience with this shit and people may be closer to simply 'sending a message'. As in, 'body in ditch'.

      1. Michael S. Langston

        I sincerely believe that as the admin gets on shakier and shakier ground, there's more of a chance Snowden gets whacked.

        I'm sure they want to - but like Subway with Jared, the US likely also wants to see Snowden stay alive as any sudden disappearance will have an assumed answer irregardless of reality.

        1. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)

          Most people wouldn't care about Snowden getting it, and among those who do I'm pretty sure the approvers outnumber the disapprovers.

    3. GILMORE

      By the way = Clapper has always reminded me of *this guy*:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....A#t=00m16s

  8. The House has passed the $1 trillion farm bill.

    So now why again do we need a farm bill?

    1. John

      A one trillion dollar farm bill. Good thing those nihilist Republicans were able to cut that thing to size.

      What the fuck did the Senate pass? A three trillion dollar one?

      1. Brandon

        1.0001 trillion. Republican obstructionists voting in favor of mass starvation!

        1. John

          They just want this country to turn into Somalia.

      2. Certified Public Asskicker

        We're saving $16 to 23 billion over 10 years. Woo!

        1. gaijin

          The more you spend, the more you save!

          1. Restoras

            And the richer you are!

    2. SIV

      Do you want to be dependent on Chinese food and starve to death when they cut off the supply? NATIONAL SECURITY!

      1. uh, yeah, I'd be dependent on Chinese food. General Tso's + Sriracha FTW

        1. EDG reppin' LBC

          I'm wholly dependent on Vietnamese pho with Sriracha. From this place.

          1. SIV

            Banh mi on Buford Highway

    3. gaijin

      So now why again do we need a farm bill?

      Because silly. Without it, noone would farm. People would starve. Duh!

      1. SIV

        Farmers would develop all the land into subdivisions, industrial parks and shopping centers w/o those government handouts. Every last acre. Then you'd starve when the ChiComs cut off our food supply.

    4. To funnel more money to the Mellencamps?

    5. So now why again do we need a farm bill?

      So both parties can dole out free stuff to constituents. Notice the House didn't cut shit out of this pork sandwich.

      1. Dr. Frankenstien

        Did you mean "didn't cut pork out of this shit sandwich."?

        1. Restoras

          It would have meant that if its cranium wasn't full of fecal matter.

      2. Actually the House split it into two bills, Food Aid and Farm Aid, the Senate neglected to take up either, because dividing SNAP from ADM handouts would destroy the bipartisan consensus. Then the House caved.

  9. rts

    Mixer mortgages make Vancouver home ownership possible

    Two families have come up with an unconventional solution to the high cost of real estate in Vancouver, which makes buying a home impossible for many young families.

    The Morey family and the Thrift family have co-purchased a home using the mixer mortgage option from Vancity.

    Or, you know, move out of the city, like I did.

    1. I wonder what the financial arrangements of the adults in My Two Dads and Full House was.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        Fucking Full House.

        But Lori Loughlin. Growl!

        1. Episiarch

          Have you ever seen Secret Admirer? You get an adorable young Lori and a smoking hot young Kelly Preston. Plus it's just a really fun movie.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly

      It's called 'inter-generational' homes.

      1. Michael S. Langston

        That's the statist way - equality all the way to poverty.

        Their motto could be: With us, things are more and more like the 1800's every day!

        1. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)

          Tax the rich
          Feed the poor
          Till there are no
          Rich no more

  10. The cold weather has turned Atlanta into an apocalyptic landscape...

    So if the confederacy ever rises again all we have to do is point some cold moisture at them.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      Just don't ask General Sherman how they could keep warm.

      1. Snow is hell.

      2. Restoras

        He loved making those special neckties.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Proof positive that all the Marines at the Chosin reservoir were yankees.

  11. The cold weather has turned Atlanta into an apocalyptic landscape about which several comparisons to The Walking Dead have been made.

    Your good fortune, Peanuts. I got to spend extra time here due to the Snowgeddon of four whole inches.

    1. John

      The box you live in must be cold. Or does the ice act as insulation?

    2. Certified Public Asskicker

      Interesting that you and Tony live in red states.

      Otherwise, fuck you.

      1. I get to see plenty of greasy-ass GOP Bible-hicks up close.

        1. John

          Aggressive pan handling is illegal in Georgia and so is violating one of your restraining orders.

          We have this conversation before. Does Reason need to call your case worker?

        2. I'm sorry they get to see you up close.

        3. Tim

          I was amused that this morning you mistook my good natured swipe at Fist as an attack on Obama. Your hate has blinded you young one. Search your feelings you know it to be true.

          1. A swipe at me is a swipe at the very presidency itself.

            1. Wind Rider

              So, you found TP with Skippy's picture on it?

      2. Mike M.

        For like the one millionth time, Dipshit Dave doesn't live in Georgia. The phony sockpuppet persona he has created does, but the actual person attached to the hand lives in Washington, D.C.

    3. gaijin

      Seeing four inches has never been so frightening to so many.

      1. Restoras

        Insert "That's what she said" joke here.

        1. gaijin

          +4 more inches

  12. EDG reppin' LBC

    The cold weather has turned Atlanta into an apocalyptic landscape about which several comparisons to The Walking Dead have been made.

    ESPN is dropping coverage of the UNC vs. GaTech game because they cant get production equipment to McCamish Pavilion. At least tOSU vs. PSU game will be on.

    1. John

      I know it is Atlanta. And Atlanta has a terrible city government and even a good southern city government goes insane whenever it ices up. But Jesus H. Christ how much ice did they get down there?

      1. The very geography of metro Atlanta really has no business hosting a major city, and that's before we get into how the infrastructure has lagged behind the sprawl.

        1. Its as far as a steam train could get from the Port of Savannah or Charleston without tanking on their way to Pittsburgh.

        2. Invisible Finger

          My company HQ is in Atlanta and they have asked me to relocate and I have said no every time. Mr. Lester's post is the exact reason why I won't.

          Among other geographic reasons is the very fact that the town is not near a large enough body of water to support the population during a severe drought.

          Besides they are transferring so many Union-belt people to Atlanta that the area is guaranteeing its own demise. They elected Jimmy Carter without them, WITH them they can certainly elect the second-coming of Rob Blagojevich. Georgia will turn into a socialist hellhole pretty damn quick.

        3. SIV

          The very geography of metro Atlanta really has no business hosting a major city

          Except the geography is why it is there.
          Eastern Continental Divide, Bitchez!

          1. Try driving in it, even short distances from A to B.

      2. Pelosi's Rabbit

        I knew small southern towns didn't spend any money on snow removal equipment, but I always assumed larger ones did.

        1. Juice

          They have it. They just couldn't get the trucks to the ice because of the miles of backed up cars.

          1. Invisible Finger

            Atlanta has more snow removal equipment than they used to. But they can't use it on state roads.

            1. SIV

              The storm was forecast to hit south of town. What resources GDOT has were probably deployed there.

        2. The behavior of Georgia drivers in snow and ice is at least as large a risk factor as the weather itself.

          1. SIV

            Every winter storm good ol' boys in 4wds rescue Yankee-transplants who think "they know how to drive in snow and ice".

        3. Pavlov's Cat

          I knew small southern towns didn't spend any money on snow removal equipment, but I always assumed larger ones did.

          At one point Richmond, VA got rid of all their snow removal equipment because it had been long enough since they had gotten any snow they believed in the AGW BS. Then came the ice and snow of the 1990s.
          Then again, how many people died without AC in 1995 in Chicago?

        4. Wind Rider

          Nope, City of Birmingham, in the (bankrupt) County of Jefferson, in the fine State of Alabama doesn't spend a lot of cash for equipment to deal with either none, one, maybe two annual events, most of which resolve themselves within 24 hours.

          I do have to say, that at least here in Bama, this was pre-fucked even before the government got involved, and when they did, they performed pretty well given the circumstance. Well, at least the first responders were good.

          I've got no idea what the fuck Atlanta's problem is. Yep, a lot of folks spent the night in single digit temps stuck in their cars, and a lot of people braved 2-3 hour walks to get home/to warmth - but around here, the vast majority of folks, if not all, were out of the direst of straights by mid-morning. And those Georgia Crackers (all people residing in GA are crackers - this is not a racial thing - are now having to come up with a plan to distribute MRE's to the folks still stuck out there for a second night

          Feelin pretty good I'm here instead of there, cause Georgia's looking like an epicenter of teh schtooopid about now.

          1. Jerryskids

            The problems are manifold. Rapid growth in Atlanta with traffic outpacing road-building means there are a few main roads and no alternative routes so once you get a few wrecks all the roads are blocked. What roads there are are all hills and curves. The ground is warmer than the air so the first snow melted and then froze, meaning it's more correct to say we have an inch of ice on the roads moreso than an inch of snow. A sudden change in the weather forecast from '2/10 of an inch well south of Atlanta' to '1-2 inches in Atlanta' meant nobody was really prepared for this. And then when it hit, everything got closed and everybody sent home at the same time and suddenly you have a million or so cars all on the roads at the same time. Atlanta rush hour lasts about 14 hours because everybody knows you have to leave 2 hours early to beat the traffic. (Seriously, when I worked in Atlanta and had to be there at 8 o'clock I left the house at 5:45 and got there before 7 o'clock. If I waited until 6:15 to leave, I wouldn't get there until 8:30. Or noon if there was a wreck at Fulton Industrial. And there's always a wreck at Fulton Industrial.)

  13. Notorious G.K.C.

    Vatican spokesman: "Unfortunately, the [recent Rolling Stone] article [about Pope Francis] disqualifies itself, falling into the usual mistake of a superficial journalism, which in order to highlight the positive aspects of Pope Francis, thinks it should describe in a negative way the pontificate of Pope Benedict, and does so with a surprising crudeness."

    http://www.ncregister.com/blog.....z2rpG7IGBf

    1. Tonio

      Awww, they haz a sad.

  14. Grand Moff Serious Man

    HBO's 'Looking' is homophobic for not showing erections

    Gay men love penises. They unzip jeans to get at them. They jerk them off and suck them. Sometimes, they insert them into willing partners' anuses. Then, they ejaculate. For many a dude, the dick is the raison d'?tre of homosexuality.

    **lights Jesse signal**

    This is inexcusable. While it's possible that Looking's lack of rigid man meat is part of executive producer Andrew Haigh's understated personal aesthetic, history suggests that the real blame lies with the network...HBO's failure to spotlight members at attention shows the network is bowing to censorious TV convention?and perpetuating a disturbing fear of queer people.

    I'll let Elaine take this

    But as critics, gay and straight, cheer Looking on from the sidelines, they're ignoring the elephant in the room. The elephant, in this case, being a dude's throbbing penis ready to ejaculate on or in another dude. Looking's gauzy love scenes, often shot from the waist up, just don't give us enough of the flagrante of in flagrante delicto.

    In the name of truth, justice, and the American way, we need a homo's hard dick on TV now?even if it beats its straight counterpart to broadcast. That would be a sign of true national gay pride.

    1. John

      IN fairness, there is hardly any gay male porn available in this society. I mean if HBO doesn't show an erect male dick and guy on guy action, where are people supposed to see that kind of stuff?

      1. Your research must be extensive.

        1. Red Rocks Rockin

          I'll refer you to your screenname.

          1. Never, ever refer to the fact that PB is as homophobic, if not more, than the Bible-belt yokels he claims to disdain. He literally goes apeshit and smears his own feces all over the thread from the pain of his cognitive dissonance.

            1. PapayaSF

              You mean, more so than he usually does?

        2. John

          Nice to know you are homophobic in addition to being racist. You really hit all of the bases shreek.

      2. I mean if HBO doesn't show an erect male dick and guy on guy action, where are people supposed to see that kind of stuff?

        http://www.youporngay.com/

        1. Robert S.

          I'm 12 years old and what is this?

          1. Bobarian

            Pictures of your dad.

    2. gaijin

      hah! you nearly tricked me into clicking on a link to Slate.

    3. Notorious G.K.C.

      "I go to the [TV] to be entertained, I want to be taken out of myself, I don't want to see lust and rape and incest and sodomy and so on. I can get all that at home."

      http://cota.co.za/newsletters.htm

    4. Episiarch

      Jesus, what does HBO have to do to satisfy some people? They already show more dicks per episode of GoT than any show ever.

      1. John

        Do you keep a running box score of that kind of thing or something?

        1. Episiarch

          I keep a scorepad on the coffee table. So far, the tits are winning, but dicks are actually beating vaginas. What did I just say?

          1. waffles

            I was raised a prudish Catholic and nudity of any type makes me squirm. I know I'm not the target audience for these types of shows so my opinion matters little here. Still, there is a big difference between a naked man's flaccid cock and full on rager. That said I can and do appreciate nudity in the comfort of my own home or on vacation.

            1. Tonio

              Which is totally ironic since the Vatican owns lots of artwork depicting nude or almost-nude people.

              1. waffles

                It's my New England cultural mores then. And that's art!

                1. Episiarch

                  I'm from New England and I'm all for maximum nudity. But I'm also a douchebag, so that might be a factor.

                  1. waffles

                    But you moved to Seattle. It's all self-selection really.

          2. Fr?ulein Nikki

            Well tits kind of get double-points. Seems unfair.

            1. Restoras

              And they really are more like a snack!

            2. gaijin

              you're discounting the junk behind the junk on a guy. It's a 3-point play.

              1. Fr?ulein Nikki

                Hey, Epi's the one with the score-card.

                1. gaijin

                  threading fails me

      2. I've never seen labia on HBO.

        I want some labia and not the fat girl named Lena!

        This is a double standard for real.

      3. God bless South Park.

      4. Corning

        I can hardly remember any dicks in GoT.

        I guess i saw one on Theon when he was on a boat screwing the captain's daughter.

        I think a youtube video of all GoT dick shots needs to be made to remind me of all the dicks.

      5. Apatheist ?_??

        I'd say that Spartacus had more dicks than GoT.

      6. EDG reppin' LBC

        Mr. Brown: Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

        Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?

        Mr. White: A lot.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J782jBp_pW0

    5. Red Rocks Rockin

      In the name of truth, justice, and the American way, we need a homo's hard dick on TV now?even if it beats its straight counterpart to broadcast. That would be a sign of true national gay pride.

      What, Lena Dunham's jiggling jelly rolls aren't good enough for you?

      1. waffles

        I thought she was into cupcakes.

    6. And if they do show hard dicks on TV, the Jezzies are going to have a fit.

      1. kinnath

        There was some video recently (SNL or Stewart or god knows where it was) where a group of women were complaining that HBO shows lots of tits, but no dicks. They weren't complaining about the tits, but they were demanding that HBO show full erections for their benefit.

    7. This was a theme in that recent South Park three-parter about Black Friday. But I've studied the nudity in Game of Thrones VERY closely and there aren't that many dicks shown really. But yeah, they're all flaccid. Even right after penetration. Go figure.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man

        But yeah, they're all flaccid. Even right after penetration. Go figure

        Clearly HBO needs to hire some fluffers. Which means if we mandate that HBO show more hard dicks it'll create jobs.

        Stimulus!

        1. gaijin

          Multiplier effects!

    8. AuH20

      Apparently, Scott Bakula will appear on Looking.

      Dr. Sam Beckett AND Captain Archer, as well as Chuck's dad and a great role in Men of a Certain Age.

      What I'm saying here is, I'd go gay for the Bak.

      Also, didn't Looking's last episode, according to the AV Club, revolve entirely around the main character googling and trying to score with a dude with a "uncut latin cock"?

      1. Fr?ulein Nikki

        Also, didn't Looking's last episode, according to the AV Club, revolve entirely around the main character googling and trying to score with a dude with a "uncut latin cock"?

        And then they don't show it?!? I would be one pissed-off viewer.

      2. jesse.in.mb

        I'd go gay for the Bak

        I went on a few dates with someone who was hot for Scott Bakula, it was very odd.

        Anyone else want to put forward who they'd go gay for?

        Wayne's World era Tia Carrere would be my goto for the straight thing.

        1. Lady Bertrum

          I go for Jennifer Lawrence. Amazon Girl.

        2. Episiarch

          I'd go gay for your mom, jesse.

        3. Anyone else want to put forward who they'd go gay for?

          5,000 Benjamin Franklins.

          I'm into 18th century gangbangs.

    9. jesse.in.mb

      I started watching the first episode last night but had to pick someone up at the airport and never got back to it. I don't understand the aversion to erections in pop culture. Other cultures think they're great: Korean example, Japan.

      Pull up xtube on your cell phone and watch that during the love making scenes or make your own TV series and air it as a web series. It's not like HBO is holding anyone hostage. If erotic web series become a big thing they'll get picked up by cable and filter their way to broadcast eventually.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Whoops, Korean example didn't link

        Again

        Bonus: jesse.in.mb sans beard and with traditional Korean wood carvings.

        1. EDG reppin' LBC

          That's right jesse. Cup the balls and stroke the shaft.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            There's a funnier pic where I got one of my coworkers to do the Dr. Strangelove riding a bomb scene on one of the big wooden dicks and she got really into it, but I don't want to post up pics of other people without their permission.

      2. Grand Moff Serious Man

        Isn't it against the law in Japan to show genitalia in media? I wonder why.

  15. AuH20

    The NY Times doesn't care that Keystone opposition is retarded- it helped the movement, comrade!

    Although some critics say the environmental movement has made a strategic error by focusing so much energy on the pipeline, no one disputes that the issue has helped a new breed of environmental organizations build a mostly young army eager to donate money and time. The seven-year-old email list of 350.org, an organization that focuses on climate change, has more than doubled to 530,000 people since the group began fighting the pipeline in August 2011. In addition, about 76,000 people have signed a "pledge of resistance" sponsored by seven liberal advocacy groups in which they promise to risk arrest in civil disobedience if a State Department analysis, expected this year, points toward approval of the pipeline.

    The Keystone XL project has also raised the profile of a diverse generation of environmental leaders, like the activist Bill McKibben, a former writer for The New Yorker and founder of 350.org, and the billionaire venture capitalist Thomas F. Steyer, who is estimated to have contributed at least $1 million to the movement and has starred in four 90-second ads opposing the pipeline. Not least, it has united national and local environmental groups that usually fight for attention and resources.

    1. John

      build a mostly young army eager to donate money and time.

      Since their activism is helping to ensure most of them won't have jobs, they will have a lot more time than money to donate.

    2. EDG reppin' LBC

      The Keystone XL project has also raised the profile of a diverse generation of environmental leaders, like...the billionaire venture capitalist Thomas F. Steyer, who is estimated to have contributed at least $1 million to the movement and has starred in four 90-second ads opposing the pipeline.

      Tom Steyer opposes Keystone XL for oe reason only; he's going long on "sustainable energy" investments. Naturally, he wants to use government force to squash his competition. He's a Kronie. Get Konnected!!!

      1. John

        Really what that NYT piece is saying is that opposition to Keystone got a bunch of stupid young people to line the pockets of a few rich environmental activists.

        1. GILMORE

          You say this like its a bad thing
          /NYT

    3. Juice

      Will the pipeline require some good old fashioned eminent domain?

  16. Notorious G.K.C.

    "I go to the [TV] to be entertained, I want to be taken out of myself, I don't want to see lust and rape and incest and sodomy and so on. I can get all that at home."

    http://cota.co.za/newsletters.htm

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      Meant that as a comment on the HBO link above.

  17. Grand Moff Serious Man

    Guess who (this one is tricky):

    In the State of the Union address tonight, President Obama is going to call for a national minimum wage of $10.10. Then in their response the Republicans will say that'd be a huge disaster that would make the Washington Monument fall over, Mt. Rushmore explode, etc. But here's what neither Obama or the GOP will tell you:

    One hundred years ago this month Henry Ford began paying his workers a minimum of $15 an hour! (It was $5 for an eight hour day ? which would be worth $116.48 now.) That's right ? in a much poorer America, one without TV, radio, phones or House of Cards on demand, Ford could afford it. In fact, Ford later said, he couldn't afford not to: "The owner, the employees, and the buying public are all one and the same, and unless an industry can so manage itself as to keep wages high and prices low it destroys itself, for otherwise it limits the number of its customers. One's own employees ought to be one's own best customers."

    Tell THAT to anyone who says we can't afford a minimum wage of $15 here in 2014 ? 100 years later, in a country about eight times as rich per person. The CEOs will scream and weep now just like they did then, and just like then they'll be wrong. Not only would it not destroy American businesses, it might be the only thing that can save them.

    1. waffles

      It's almost like this guy has no idea why Ford decided he had to pay above the prevailing wage. He wanted the best workers. Is this guy arguing that all workers are equally best workers? Is this guy even a guy? This is dumb, dumb, dumb.

      1. John

        It is sort of a variation on their belief that the government can print money and make us all rich. Just like the government spending money creates prosperity, businesses overpaying their workers does the same thing. If you pay your workers more than you can afford, you will get rich because of the multiplier effect.

      2. gaijin

        Exactly. Today even, Goldman Sachs pays its sales workers a minimum of $230,000. That's 127/hr. We're all worth it!

      3. kinnath

        Ford cut the work day from 9 hours to 8 hours, not because it was "fair" but because he could run three 8-hours shifts in a 24-hour day.

        1. John

          You expect Progs to understand basic division?

    2. Warty

      $5 for an eight hour day ? which would be worth $116.48 now

      Let's not think about the implications of this too hard, shall we?

      1. I think we should definitely cut those union workers to $14.63/hr and no benefits.

    3. Irish

      Okay...but what is the average AUTO WORKER paid today?

      Well, I googled it and found sources saying anywhere between $30/hr and $45/hr.

      In other words, workers IN THE INDUSTRY FORD RAN are now making 2 or 3 times as much as they were then.

      These people are morons. We are fighting against morons.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man

        You are correct. We are fighting morons. We are fighting Michael Moore

      2. Bobarian

        If you add in the benefits, it's like 75 an hour

    4. Red Rocks Rockin

      That's right ? in a much poorer America, one without TV, radio, phones or House of Cards on demand, Ford could afford it.

      Hmmmm, you mean in a nation that didn't spend most of its GDP on high-tech gizmos, it could afford to buy--high-tech gizmos?

    5. lap83

      "huge disaster that would make the Washington Monument fall over, Mt. Rushmore explode, etc."

      It's telling that he uses these examples to make the point that the GOP is being dramatic. To him, damage to a monument symbolizing government excess is a worse tragedy than loss of jobs.

    6. Juice

      Everyone who works to build a mega-yacht should be paid enough to be able to afford a mega-yacht. It only makes economic sense.

    7. The Last American Hero

      let's not forget, Ford also told them how to dress, do their hair, and conduct themselves and if he saw something he didn't like, he threw your ass out the door grabbed the next guy in line.

      1. Jerryskids

        But he did make a point of hiring lots of black people and gays and the handicapped, so there's that.

        (I haven't actually checked if that's true, I'm just assuming that a Progressive like Henry Ford would be so eager to stick it to those Fascist right-wing extremists that he would mostly hire the unPrivileged.)

  18. waffles

    It cuts food stamps slightly

    Slightly? Slightly!?

    You think taking food out of the mouths of families with single working mothers is something to just shrug off? This is billions of dollars we are talking about. Billions!

  19. AuH20

    Even when they're right, socialists come at things from such a stupid way.

    Their profession is heavily unionized. Culturally, they have more in common with bus drivers than business executives. Many come from working-class backgrounds.

    Yet on the beat, police come in contact with?? to question, to arrest, to brutalize?? the most disadvantaged. This presents a problem for radicals. If the Left stands for anything, it's worker emancipation and labor militancy. But police and others in the state's coercive apparatus, workers themselves in many respects, are the keepers of class society. Their jobs exist to maintain social control and protect the status quo.

    The introduction of unions to this portion of the state raises additional concerns. Can "coercive unions" ever advocate for the broader working class, rather than members' narrow self-interests? Or are police unions irredeemably reactionary?

    ...

    Such is the inherent defect of law-enforcement unionism: It's peopled by those with a material interest in maintaining and enlarging the state's most indefensible practices.

    1. Episiarch

      Ok...now, to take this to its logical conclusion...oh wait, I see they've stopped.

    2. AuH20

      Socialists, recognizing the contradictions of the democratic capitalist state?? by turns securer and seizer of freedom?? can simultaneously love Medicare and loathe the NYPD. We recognize that, through struggle, workers have secured the occasional spot on what Marx called the executive committee of the bourgeoisie. Pro-labor liberals are in more treacherous territory. Unable to navigate the nuances and paradoxes of the public sector, their anti-austerity message is, "Don't cut the jobs of teachers, firefighters, and police officers." For them, the function of all three occupations is identical: to serve the public good.

      Pro-labor liberals see a revanchist Tea Party and cuts in food stamps, and crouch to defend a monolithic state. They see a dying labor movement in which the number of union workers in the public sector now eclipses those in the private sector, or some cops standing against GOP attacks on collective bargaining rights, and they believe the police are their natural allies.

      But they overlook whose class interests are served when police are dispatched, as compared to other government workers. Teachers teach, cops serve capital. The homeless man arrested for public intoxication has been treated more punitively than the Wall Street trader whose avarice breeds homelessness. This is the system the police, prison guards, and the border patrol maintain.

      1. Episiarch

        Ugh, class warfare. These people are pathetic.

      2. revanchist Tea Party

        Ummm...that word doesn't mean what he thinks it means. Unless the Tea Party is now calling for "54-40 or Fight!" and I somehow missed it.

        1. Sounds good to me - prepare for action, Canukleheads!

          *sharpens sabre and looks for pouch of ammo*

    3. Juice

      If the Left stands for anything, it's worker emancipation and labor militancy.

      Wait, what?

      1. VG Zaytsev

        Workers of the world, UNITE!

  20. Certified Public Asskicker

    Beretta follows through on promise to get the fuck out of Maryland:

    http://www.baltimoresun.com/ne.....3905.story

    1. Certified Public Asskicker

      I also ventured into the comments:

      Don't let the door hit you on your way out... you death manufacturers! Just how many kids and other innocents have you killed with your devices?
      "But gins dont kale pape-el, pape-el kale pape-el." Agreed, its just that guns kill people a lot quicker and easier than anything else. AND, guns don't serve any other useful purpose. When is the last time you cut a steak with your gun or drove your gun to work? I am a handgun/assault weapon supporter...for the police and military, and a long barrelled shotgun supporter for homeowners and hunters. All the other rednecks and drug dealers should have to duke it out with their fists, or get up close and personal with knives if they really want to kill someone! Just don't subject the majority of Americans, those who are sane, to your gun fetish!

      1. I hope someone shoots that piece of shit.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker

          Hopefully a cop.

      2. gaijin

        should have to

        in other words, 'in my perfect world'

      3. playa manhattan

        I drove my gun to work today. Is that what he meant?

      4. Umm. I guess they are unfamiliar with the UK's post-gun violent crime statistics?

  21. Bo Cara Esq.

    SoCon on Indiana Constitutional Amendment Banning Same Sex Marriage

    "Marriage exists as a public institution, and not merely as a private relationship, because of the public purposes it serves. Regardless of the private reasons why any individual couple desires or chooses to marry, the reason marriage is a public institution is simple and clear. It brings together men and women for the reproduction of the human race, and keeps together a man and a woman to raise to maturity the children produced by their union. Society needs children; children need a mother and a father. Those are the only reasons why marriage is a public, not purely private, institution. And the only type of relationship which can naturally fulfill those important public purposes is the union of a woman and a man. It is irrational to treat any other structural type of relationship as a marriage. It is equally irrational to grant any other type of relationship the legal and financial benefits which are granted to marriages. Society gives benefits to marriage because marriage gives benefits to society."

    http://www.thecloakroomblog.co.....Vk9jl.dpuf

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

      Aha ha ha ha ha!

      (catches breath)

      Oh, man, those nutty SoCons, giggle giggle giggle giggle snort

      1. Bo Cara Esq.

        Well surely all those libertarians here who oppose same sex marriage because they think government should have nothing to do with a private matter like marriage will weigh in on this fellow's paean to society's duty to support marriage?

      2. Still, don't you have a problem with an argument that asserts the marriage relationship is a "public" one? That is people outside of your kin-group believe they have a say as to whom you can mate and cohabitate with? Just because it produces children? This is nothing more than "it takes a village's church to raise a child".

        1. Notorious G.K.C.

          I think the right way to think about this is that marriage precedes the state, and the state's role is to recognize marriage, not define it or say who gets to contract it. But once contracted, the state owes it protection.

          1. Bo Cara Esq.

            "But once contracted, the state owes it protection."

            Meaning promotion?

            I have always been amused by the idea that one man one woman monogamous marriage is 'natural' against the backdrop of governments historically and currently providing a slew of benefits to promote it and criminal punishments for deviations from it. If it is so natural, then why the carrot and stick?

            1. Restoras

              Are you suggesting that it isn't "natural"? Also, isn't it obvious why governments would seek to promote it?

              1. Bo Cara Esq.

                I am suggesting that the air of naturalness it may possess could as likely come from the massive state efforts throughout history to push people in that direction, as well as wonder why, if it is so natural, such massive efforts are necessary?

              2. Tonio

                Well throughout most of recorded history, and presumably before then, polygamy (one man and as many women as he wanted or could support) was the norm. Them biblical patriarchs had multiple wives.

          2. I think the right way to think about this is that marriage precedes the state

            Says who?

            1. Notorious G.K.C.

              "says who?"

              Anyone who doesn't believe in an omnipotent state?

              1. Ah, I see.

        2. John

          Marriage laws don't do t hat. If we still had laws that made it illegal to cohabitate with someone you are not married to, it would mean that.

          This guy is just saying we go to the trouble of creating marriage because we want to encourage and help people have children and there is no point in doing that for gay couples who by definition can't do t hat.

          The problem is that that position doesn't account for gay couples that adopt and straight couples that choose not to have kids. But it isn't arguing that the state can tell you how to live. It is saying the state can grant special status to parents.

          1. Bo Cara Esq.

            "But it isn't arguing that the state can tell you how to live. It is saying the state can grant special status to parents."

            The state can't tell you how to live, it can just give benefits to those who live how they say to, and, oh, some criminal punishments for those who live different.

            By your logic the IRS was not telling conservative groups how to operate, they were just granting a special status to other groups (which of course is even in itself bad).

          2. If we still had laws that made it illegal to cohabitate with someone you are not married to

            In three states, we still do. However, I'll concede your point for the sake of conversation.

            It is saying the state can grant special status to parents.

            Yes, a tradition started by the Prussians. (Look up the history of anniversary gifts and why they are what they are for more info.) And I say this as a parent, why should we get a special status?

            1. Bo Cara Esq.

              "In three states, we still do."

              That, and of course various anti-polygamy laws.

            2. "should" - mmmmm, the State wants taxpayers, conscription fodder, voters to carry the sedan chairs and palanquins of the political class, right?

      3. jesse.in.mb

        And the only type of relationship which can naturally fulfill those important public purposes is the union of a woman and a man.

        Ah yes, sterile couples shouldn't be allowed to marry and gay couples who adopt and raise children shouldn't be afforded the same institutional support.

        LOL ^_^

    2. John

      Marriage exists as a public institution, and not merely as a private relationship, because of the public purposes it serves. Regardless of the private reasons why any individual couple desires or chooses to marry, the reason marriage is a public institution is simple and clear. It brings together men and women for the reproduction of the human race, and keeps together a man and a woman to raise to maturity the children produced by their union.

      Assume for a moment that people are right when they say marriage gets special privileges and protections in this society. Isn't that pretty much why? Yeah, we recognize marriage because we recognize the family and by extension children are the fundamental building block of society.

      He is right. Now, the people on here would reach a different conclusion from that premise. They would say the government has no business deciding what the fundamental building block of society or favoring parents over single people and thus the institution of state recognized marriage should go. This guy would disagree. But his position is hardly inconsistent and does honestly state the reason why we have state sponsored marriage.

      1. Bo Cara Esq.

        "the people on here would reach a different conclusion from that premise.They would say the government has no business deciding what the fundamental building block of society or favoring parents over single people and thus the institution of state recognized marriage should go"

        Well, that is what I am getting at. This is a libertarian site.

        1. John

          Since you MO is to put up quotes as examples of how ridiculous SOCONS are, I assumed you put this up to ridicule it, even though it is an entirely reasonable argument, just not one people here agree with.

          1. Bo Cara Esq.

            John, this is a libertarian site. It is interesting that you think it so concerning that someone might put up an 'entirely reasonable' argument that is contrary to libertarian thought and principles in order to ridicule it. I realize a fair amount of conservatives such as yourself have chosen to hang out here and many seem fine with that, but realize where you are.

      2. lap83

        I agree with John. Many people disagree with that description, but it is historically why marriage was defined a certain way. After all, reliable birth control is a relatively new invention.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.

          It is the prescription, not the description, that strikes me as the problem.

          1. lap83

            I don't agree with their prescription either, but I understand the motivation. If your deeply held values are being challenged on a massive and sudden scale, it's natural to make a desperate attempt to stop it. They won't win though. You can at least take comfort in that.

            1. Bo Cara Esq.

              I understand their deeply held values are threatened and that leads to that, but when someone's deeply held values include them imposing them, or ensconsing them, on the rest of society I resist.

              If these people abhor same sex unions they should ideally argue that marriage in general should be a private affair, neither aided nor attacked by government, or secondly allow equal access based on gender. What they want is their view to get government support exclusively, much like how they think about religion in general

        2. paranoid android

          So it's improper to call infertile heterosexuals who get married "married", right? Why are we allowing them the benefits of marriage if by definition there will be no children to support?

      3. Matrix

        If was sooooo important as all that, then the government would be right then to mandate who should marry whom, and how many children they produce. I'm not talking homosexual marriages or interracial marriages. I'm saying that people with certain genetic quanlities would be required to marry someone of certain other genetic qualities to bring about stronger, more resiliant people. All those with inferior genes... well... purge.

    3. I'm starting to think SoCons don't care for freedom!

    4. waffles

      I know a married lesbian couple who had surrogate childbirth and is now going through a particularly nasty divorce due to gross infidelity. Who says gay marriage can't create a fucked up home life the kids just as well as any marriage?

      1. Notorious G.K.C.

        The thing is, the technical means to create non-nuclear families have always existed. Handing kids over to others, running Plato's Republic style communal childraising communes, even the families formed by widowhood and remarriage. Even artificial insemination can be accomplished outside of marriage without the aid of modern technology.

        Yet there's been a consistent preference for traditional families.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.

          "there's been a consistent preference for traditional families."

          And state force punishing other arrangements, as well as state benefits for those who follow that route, had nothing to do with that.

          Right.

        2. John

          They have always existed in tribal societies. In some Indian tribes the men raise their sister's kids and are totally not responsible for their own sons.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.

            Well, then we could get the sociologists to work to see which is the better arrangement!

            I am on tenterhooks to await the results of this research.

            1. Bo Cara Esq.

              Or we could have the government get its coercive nose out of it altogether and let people choose which arrangement they prefer.

        3. Of course, if we're being historically accurate, a traditional family is an extended one. Parents would have the help of grandparents, unmarried brothers and sisters, etc. with child raising, and if they didn't live under the same roof, they would be in the same hamlet at least.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.

            That goes on today. But it's never defined as marriage that I know of.

            Though maybe now it could be done..."I now declare you grandma and grandchild."

            1. I'm not saying that it's "marriage", but if we're talking about what a "traditional family" is, it's not the 20th-century American nuclear family of Mom, Dad, and 2.5 children living 3,000 miles away from Grandma and Granpappy.

              1. Notorious G.K.C.

                Well, I should distinguish between nuclear and extended family. Of course the village has always contributed to raising the community's kids, but this shouldn't be taken to denigrate the role of parents, or you end up talking like Melissa Harris Perry.

        4. waffles

          I vehemently disagree that a gay couple with one child as a family unit is any different than a traditional family. Screw your "Brave New World" shit. The reality is gay couples replicate nuclear families with as much success and failure as the natural types.

    5. "Marriage exists as a public institution, and not merely as a private relationship, because of the public purposes it serves."

      The State needs healthy children!

  22. Rufus J. Firefly

    Snowden Nobel?

    Why not? They gave it to the Big Snore.

    1. Bo Cara Esq.

      Well, but who wants to see Snowden have to order a surge of military action in one country, bomb another and push for a third afterwards?

  23. Corning

    Only prose is real literature

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25942003

    The best part is even debates about literature in Russia look like those Russian dash cam youtube videos.

    1. I'd stab the motherfucker to. You fuck with Homer, you fuck with me.

      1. Pretty sure Homer could have held his own at drinking or fighting with any prose heavy-weight of any age.

        1. Notorious G.K.C.

          So long as they pointed him in the right direction.

          Or maybe he was like that Japanese Blind Swordsman character?

  24. Sevo

    Shame the Peace Prize has been so debased.

    1. GILMORE

      +1 Yasser Arafat

  25. I love the RCT sometimes:

    The largest area of concentration appears to be around Gulfport, Mississippi, which has seen at least 67 of the frozen animals. Wildlife officials say that the sharks, who migrate to this area during the winter, were caught off guard by the most severe winter storm in several decades.

    1. John

      I guess the sharks had been listening to Al Gore.

    2. Invisible Finger

      Stupid wildlife.

    3. Notorious G.K.C.

      They'll be eating Stouffer's Shark Meat for weeks.

  26. Grand Moff Serious Man

    Jezebel writer compares the shame she feels over her smelly vagina to female circumcision

    Despite my best efforts at loving myself I'm barely okay with the way I smell and I'm still terrified when I meet a new lover to let him go there. In fact as I lie there looking at the ceiling during what should be a hot moment, the thought crosses my mind. How on earth can he like doing that? Is he cringing as he's doing it? And lastly will he leave me if he thinks I'm disgusting?

    Turn back now if you don't want to read the rest.

    My vagina smells like shame. Rancid and sickly. SHAME.

    Since educating myself through my own personal project The Vagina Times, I've discovered so much about our systemic culture of shame which has prompted women to mutilate, bleach and douche their genitals to eliminate their natural shape, colour and smell. It's truly heartbreaking...

    In fact, for me this is the worst aspect of vulval and vaginal shame. We not only betray ourselves, but we betray our daughters. In the most extreme examples, mothers hold down their struggling, screaming daughters with other female village elders to go through horrific female genital mutilation because those women are shamed so strongly, that they think it is better put their daughters through a mentally, emotionally and physically scarring procedure ? to cut away all existence of the vulva and sew up the vagina like it was never there

    1. NoVAHockey

      whoa

    2. My vagina smells like shame. Rancid and sickly. SHAME.

      No, your vagina smells like bacteria and fungi metabolizing the dead cells that slough off your vaginal walls. It also smells like uric acid..

      1. *bacteria and fungi metabolizing as they ingest the dead cells

        1. Fr?ulein Nikki

          That sounds way sexier.

          1. Doesn't it? I always felt the terroir of a nice vagina resembles San Fransisco sourdough bread.

      2. Vaginaphobe!

    3. Warty

      LadyologyULouisa Leontiades 601L
      Is it really a sign of shame to want to shower and cleanse my genitals before receiving oral sex? Because I genuinely thought it considerate and hygienic. That said, I don't like oral sex anyway, so it's pretty irrelevant. I hate the pressure of being focused on and exhausting myself trying to force an orgasm while wondering every minute whether he's bored or annoyed. Awful. I'm glad it works for others. Today 2:41pm

      ...?

      ...

      ...!

      This poor idiot.

      1. John

        That said, I don't like oral sex anyway,

        I call shenanigans. Giving oral sex, sure. That is part of the patriarchy and all. But receiving? The jezebel comenting bot just failed the Turing Test

        1. Fr?ulein Nikki

          No, John, I know so many women and girls who feel that way. They're too uptight to enjoy it.

          1. John

            And I thought I had dated some freaks. I had no idea.

            1. Fr?ulein Nikki

              I'm actually surprised you don't know anyone like this. Maybe women keep it a secret among themselves.

              1. John

                That must be classified at the secret handshake level among women. I have never ran into a woman who didn't like receiving. Lots of them who didn't like giving. But never receiving.

          2. Mad Scientist

            Yep. I'd guess about 50% of my exes told me, "You don't have to do that. It feels good, but it makes me a little nervous."

            1. Fr?ulein Nikki

              Yep, that's definitely the line. "You don't have to do that." Oh, good times.

              1. Warty

                I've gotten that before. The correct reply is, "Shut up and enjoy it." And then they enjoy it.

                1. Mad Scientist

                  That is often true, but some women are just too self-conscious to enjoy it even then. I have found nothing changes their mind quite like learning their partner legitimately enjoys performing the service.

                2. GILMORE

                  "Warty|1.29.14 @ 5:53PM|#

                  "I've gotten that before. The correct reply is..."

                  "...IT REPLACES THE GAG!!"

          3. playa manhattan

            That's where a finger in the butt comes into play.

            1. Or a bigass plug.

          4. Warty

            If a chick is too uptight to enjoy getting eaten out, what can she enjoy? These poor idiots.

          5. GILMORE

            "I know so many women and girls who feel that way. They're too uptight to enjoy it."

            Yeah. I've known a few.

            The first time I encountered that, I was considerate but persistent and after 2 or so months of break-in, all was well in the universe.

            Didn't roll that way for others. they didn't last. we even had 'the conversation' thing where you try and lay everything out about what the hang-ups are. Didn't help. I suspect it has some connection to deep-seated childhood discomfort with sexuality or something, because its creepy to be honest. To me, a 'full grown woman' is generally MORE comfortable with herself than most dudes (generalizing). Meeting adult women who have 'uptight little girl' syndrome is just...weird. But its happened.

      2. Apatheist ?_??

        Well the first two sentences were fine. Everybody should wash their junk, whatever type it is.

        1. Episiarch

          Mac: (slow-dancing with Charlie) I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude.

          Charlie: Oh, my God, dude. Relax, dude. I forgot to put on deodorant, OK?

          Mac: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant,

          Charlie: Yeah, well, you've never once seen me wash my testicles either, but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday.

    4. Notorious G.K.C.

      If the personal is political, politics is grosser than I had imagined. And that's pretty gross.

    5. Warty

      ScaryMerryUAri Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark21L
      I'm in a LDR right now- we met online, became friends, became more than friends, and at this point he's now the first person that I've ever been in love with. Next month we'll be meeting in person for the first time (he lives 8 hours away from me, so I'm spending my spring break with him) and I'm terrified about our body chemistries possibly not matching up. I'm very sensitive to smell and that can totally turn me off of someone. Today 3:09pm

      No, this poor idiot.

      1. Episiarch

        These women really are the female equivalent of the MRA nerds. My god. How miserable must they be? I actually feel kind of bad for them.

        1. Irish

          I think it's hilarious that the kind of people who post at hardcore pickup artists sites and feminists ALWAYS hate each other.

          They're like the same people just with opposite genders and they're too lacking in self-awareness to realize it.

          1. Episiarch

            Going down the projection road, I have to assume the reason they hate the opposite gender is because they completely hate themselves.

            1. GILMORE

              +1 Well Done, Agent Starling

      2. Mad Scientist

        That is one well adjusted woman, right there.

      3. John

        Her or the poor bastard she is meeting? I bet he has no idea she coments there or if he does doesn't know what that actually means.

        1. Warty

          Her or the poor bastard she is meeting?

          Yes.

      4. playa manhattan

        LDR=Long distance relationship? And they've never met? WTF?

        1. trshmnstr

          Yeah, it was really popular to do that kind of thing... when I was 12. Once I went to Jr. High, people started dating people they could actually see.

          1. trshmnstr

            Disclaimer: I mean the whole "LDR with somebody i've never met." Most folks grow out of that when they realize that there's a different name for that... "My Internet Friend"

            LDRs in general aren't that bad, assuming you know what you're getting in to.

    6. lap83

      That's like the time I was stuck in a long line at the grocery store and I felt like a starving peasant in a Soviet famine.

    7. Warty

      southerngalULouisa Leontiades 131L
      Can I be real honest here? I'm an almost 30 year old virgin, with extreme self-esteem issues. I've never been physically intimate because I am terrified of rejection or that I'm sexually abnormal in some way. Also, I'm obese and can't imagine how anyone could legitimately be attracted to me. This article struck a chord with me and one of my fears ? that my vagina, either because of how it's made or how it's groomed or how it smells, is wrong and will scare off anyone who gets near it. You actually brought a tear of relief to my eye. Today 2:52pm

      Oh god, no, I was wrong. THIS poor idiot.

      Is Jezebel the saddest site on the internet? I wouldn't think so, but name me a sadder one that doesn't involve, say, dead kitties.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The deeper the cushion, the sweeter the pushin', or so I have read.

        1. playa manhattan

          mopeds etc...

      2. AuH20

        DAMN YOUR FAST... well, I guess you don't really have fingers, and tentacles seems far too, well, normal, so...

        DAMN YOUR FAST APPENDAGES!

      3. Episiarch

        This is why the world actually needs Deuce Bigalow, male gigolo. Which is actually a surprisingly sweet movie where he makes some freaky women feel much better about themselves.

        THAT'S A HUGE BITCH

        1. PapayaSF

          From Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005):

          Deuce Bigalow [Rob Schneider]: T.J., I'm so glad you are here.

          T.J. Hicks [Eddie Griffin]: How did you find me?

          Deuce Bigalow: Well, this seemed like the only chicken and waffles place in all of Holland.

          T.J. Hicks: Ohhh, so the black guy has to go to a chicken and waffles place? That's racist!

          Deuce Bigalow: But you're here.

          T.J. Hicks: Yeah, but figuring it out was racist.

      4. John

        I'm an almost 30 year old virgin, with extreme self-esteem issues.

        Never would have guessed that.

        Also, I'm obese and can't imagine how anyone could legitimately be attracted to me.

        Haven't you noticed all of the fat women with children? Some nut will fuck you. Don't worry

        This article struck a chord with me and one of my fears ? that my vagina, either because of how it's made or how it's groomed or how it smells, is wrong and will scare off anyone who gets near it.

        If you are dating a gay man sure.

        Stop being a fag hag and mix in a salad and you will be fine.

        1. Fr?ulein Nikki

          Haven't you noticed all of the fat women with children? Some nut will fuck you. Don't worry

          Real Talk from John.

          1. John

            I should start an advice column over there. I bet I could straighten a few of them out.

            1. playa manhattan

              To be fair, a lot of those women got fat while pregnant.

              1. John

                Some of those women got fat while pregnant.

              2. Irish

                Not true. An awful lot of people at Jezebel are like 27 and have never had sex.

                1. GILMORE

                  That *would* explain about 75% of the crazy horseshit on Jezebel

                  I have no desire to learn what motivates the other 25%

        2. Irish

          John's life advice is why I keep coming back here.

        3. Step 0: Take a shower, brush your teeth and hair, apply deodorant, and put on something that is flattering to whatever figure you have
          Step 1: Go to bar
          Step 2: Return smiles and join conversations if given an opening
          Step 3: Stay until 2am
          Step 4: Go home with guy

          If steps 0 or 2 confuse you, consult a non-virgin.

          1. Zeb

            Seriously. Any woman can get laid any night if they are not picky. I almost sort of feel like a dick saying it, but I'm pretty sure it's true.

          2. Pope Jimbo

            Remember the TV show "The Swan"? The one where some chick with image issues would go through plastic surgeries and extreme makeovers to show the world she was really beautiful?

            When that was running, my counter programming would have been a show called "The Owl". The same ugly gals would skip all the BS and go down to the local bar (in their sweat pants) and each show would build up to closing time. The surprise is each and every one of them would end up going home with someone. OK, that isn't a surprise to anyone who has ever gone to a bar.

      5. Irish

        Jezebel is a very sad and lonely site, but I've seen worse. It's almost as lonely and pathetic love-shy.com a website I found when some schlub in an internet forum years ago was whining about the fact that no one loved him and posted it.

        A small sample:

        An associate wore an undershirt so you could see her bra.

        And she probably has at least C cups too underneath that pink bra.

        F-U-C-K Y-E-S!!!

        That's it. Just a dude online explaining that he kind of saw a bra today.

        It's all like that. Just pathetic dudes talking about how they're 45 year old virgins.

        1. Episiarch

          Are there really this many people out there who have never had sex (both male and female)? I just assumed that everyone eventually gets laid by 20 or so just because of how horny they are, even if it takes banging a fat chick or a short dude or getting really drunk or whatever. I mean, people like to fuck.

          1. AuH20

            A guy who I know through stand up comedy is a 31 year old virgin.

            1. playa manhattan

              Is that part of the act? I hope so.

              1. AuH20

                I mean, it's part of his set, but I believe also part of his life. Which is odd and kinda sad. Dude's probably fitter than I am, and shit. He chalks it up to just extreme, extreme social awkwardness, especially with women.

                Also, I figure, after a while, you get in your own head about it, and it becomes reinforcing.

                1. He chalks it up to just extreme, extreme social awkwardness, especially with women.

                  THIS IS WHY HUMANS METABOLIZE ALCOHOL LIKE THEY DO!!!

                2. Grand Moff Serious Man

                  He can (presumably) make people laugh consistently but he's so socially awkward he can't pick up a girl?

                  That's odd.

                  1. Episiarch

                    My shy, awkward friend is quite funny, but to close the deal you need to act. Some people just don't know how to do that, and it's especially bad for guys because some women will not make a first move no matter how much they want you to.

                    Guys like this are often unwilling to make any kind of move because they're terrified of rejection or "doing it wrong" or having their move mistaken for the wrong thing. Otherwise they could seem totally normal, but if you're not willing to be bold...

                    1. Grand Moff Serious Man

                      That's true, but I would think online dating is a good way to help those kinds of people.

                      One of the virtues of it is it makes it easier to demonstrate your intelligence and charm before you go out.

                    2. Episiarch

                      What if I don't have any?!?

                    3. Grand Moff Serious Man

                      You embellish your accomplishments on your profile and copy and paste stock messages from PUAs.

                      Then when you meet for drinks, well, I'll let Warty take it from here...

          2. Fr?ulein Nikki

            Yeah me too. I even had a gay friend who was so repressed he didn't come out to anyone until he was almost 30, but he had still had an orgy the first week of his freshman year.

            1. playa manhattan

              What happened? Did he sneak up on a guy in the pile?

              1. Fr?ulein Nikki

                Well, I wasn't there, but I seriously doubt it. He spent years, years having sex with women. Not a lot, and not enough for him to keep a girlfriend for more than a few months, but I knew him to semi-regularly have sex with women for about ten years.

                1. John

                  If you spend ten years having sex with women, are you really at that point gay?

                  1. Irish

                    ...Yes?

                    1. John

                      If you met a guy who had been having sex with other men regularly for the last ten years Irish, would you believe him when he told you he was straight?

                    2. waffles

                      Stop with your "one-drop rule" homo-nonsense.

                    3. If you met a guy who had been having sex with other men regularly for the last ten years Irish, would you believe him when he told you he was straight?

                      I dunno, when was he released from prison?

                    4. There are straight men who do gay porn because they can make a lot more money.

                    5. Irish

                      No but that's because there's no stigma against being straight.

                      I can imagine a guy who was hugely repressed and didn't want to admit he was gay having sex with women though.

                    6. Fr?ulein Nikki

                      Yeah, I mean...like I said, he wasn't exactly totally into it...and since he came out to everyone, he's been the gayest monster since Epi. I mean it's a good friend and stuff

                    7. Tonio

                      ^This. Thank you, Irish.

                    8. Zeb

                      I'm quite sure it happens a lot. And happened a lot more in the past. A lot of people are taught that being gay is sinful and try to be straight to the point of getting married and having kids. I don't think that this is a particularly controversial fact.

                    9. Episiarch

                      I don't know, John, I've never fucked a dude yet I'm still the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown. These things are hard to define.

                    10. John

                      Fair enough Episiarch. And I guess all that stuff warty did to you the time he escaped from your basement wasn't totally consensual so doesn't really count.

                    11. Episiarch

                      If you're the pitcher, or if it's non-consensual, it's not gay. At least that's what Warty told me. Again and again.

                    12. Yes yes, we call know that. But who is the most monstrous gay since monsters came to monster town?

                    13. Episiarch

                      jesse, obviously.

                    14. playa manhattan

                      I hope he is having a lovely, gay birthday today.

                    15. jesse.in.mb

                      I hope he is having a lovely, gay birthday today.

                      Aww, Facebook remembered!

          3. John

            There are. The ones that puzzle me are the ones who are like that and are not gay. Some people are just gay and won't accept it leaving them to gay to have sex with the opposite sex and too uptight to have sex with the same sex. That is not good but at least makes sense.

            But there are people who desire sex but are too fucked up to seek it.

          4. Mad Scientist

            I had a roommate in college who was still a virgin at 27. Good looking guy, but completely socially inept. A woman would have to be pretty damn desperate to think sleeping with this guy was a good idea.

            1. Episiarch

              I mean, I have a friend who was a virgin until he was about 40, but he's also a super shy guy and very awkward, and was the only still-virgin I've ever known. And even he has a serious girlfriend now, who totally hooked me up with weed when I was back in CT for Thanksgiving. So, I'm happy for him.

              1. John

                How does a guy like that not just hire a hooker? I mean out of curiosity if nothing else.

                1. Mad Scientist

                  Ah, it gets interesting. Some people deal with a crummy sense of self worth by convincing themselves that the real problem is how lowly and awful everyone else is. At that point, he can tell himself he's a virgin because no women are good enough for him and evade the truth that no woman would want him under any circumstances. With that mind set, hiring a hooker would be unthinkable because it would lower him to her level.

                2. Episiarch

                  Uh, he did. At a Bunny Ranch. For a lot of money. He ended up only talking to her (I had to restrain myself from yelling at him when he told me that). It's ridiculous too because he's the nicest guy you'd ever meet, but he is just appallingly awkward.

                  1. John

                    I have known a few hookers in my time Episiarch. They all said you would be surprised at the number of clients they get who are just talkers.

                    1. waffles

                      Cheaper than therapy?

                  2. John

                    And your friend's case Epsiarch makes me think there really is a place for sex surrogates. I used to think that was a fancy name for "hooker". But your friend shows the need for a woman who is a therapist who can get them through the talking stage and actually get them to have sex.

                    1. waffles

                      Don't worry the ACA will soon provision for that.

                    2. John

                      If the ACA made my insurance pay for hookers, I might have voted for the stupid bastard.

                    3. PapayaSF

                      The only hookers who would take ACA reimbursement rates are not hookers you'd want.

                  3. playa manhattan

                    Hey dude, don't know if you saw it on the other thread, but Hairy Eyeball is alive and well. There were at least 3 cases of the 24oz on the floor at the store last night.

                    1. Episiarch

                      I've repeatedly checked all the grocery stores I go, and no Hairy Eyeball. I think WA is getting fucked.

                    2. playa manhattan

                      Is your sister in SoCal? It might be time to call in some favors.

                    3. Episiarch

                      She's in the OC. I should probably bug her about it.

                    4. playa manhattan

                      I just did you a solid. The BevMo in Issaquah has them in stock RIGHT NOW!!!

                    5. Episiarch

                      Dude, that's 20 miles away, past Lake Sammamish. I'm not driving out there for some beer.

                      Though maybe this weekend...

                    6. playa manhattan

                      Look, I'm eternally grateful that you recommended what has become one of my favorite beers, but I'm not calling every BevMo in WA for you.

                    7. The Last American Hero

                      Issaquah's got a Bevmo now?

                3. waffles

                  It's like a mental illness. They know the fear is irrational. It's like the vagina becomes the sarlac pit or some other inept metaphor. It becomes this "thing" that only grows with time.

                  1. Grand Moff Serious Man

                    I think actual therapy is warranted in that situation.

          5. Coeus

            Are there really this many people out there who have never had sex (both male and female)?

            Far more old male virgins than female, but in our current obese state, most of America's sex is brief, fumbling, drunken mashing of rolls in the dark.

          6. GILMORE

            Some people I think somehow manage to slip through their 20s via a sort of self-conscious passivity which acts as a kind of 'pussy-deflector', and by the time they actually discover their latent Real Man in their late-20s, they've gotten so patterned to NOT FUCKING that getting started seems just soooo much effort and they become exponentially lamer by the day.

            If you - like me - find this utterly incomprehensible and impossible to understand, try this as a thought experiment:

            Imagine NOT DRINKING.

            Ok, I know, I can't either. it was worth a try.

            I actually do not know any adult virgins. If I ever did meet one, they kept it to themselves.

        2. Warty

          How could you leave out that that poor pathetic slob was posting under the name "Natalie Portman"? That's the most depressingly hilarious part.

          1. Irish

            No, this is the most depressing part. This is part of his profile.

            "I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself."

    8. AuH20

      One of the comments lives up to... well, every stereotype ever:

      Can I be real honest here? I'm an almost 30 year old virgin, with extreme self-esteem issues. I've never been physically intimate because I am terrified of rejection or that I'm sexually abnormal in some way. Also, I'm obese and can't imagine how anyone could legitimately be attracted to me. This article struck a chord with me and one of my fears ? that my vagina, either because of how it's made or how it's groomed or how it smells, is wrong and will scare off anyone who gets near it. You actually brought a tear of relief to my eye.

      1. Warty

        PWND

      2. Rufus J. Firefly

        Ha, ha.

    9. Certified Public Asskicker

      Wait a minute Serious Man, how did you leave the opening line out:

      I had a friend in university who grew a moustache because he liked going down on women and retaining their scent the day after in the hairs beneath his nostrils

      Holy shit.

      1. John

        What CPA, you didn't know there were others of your kind out there?

        1. Certified Public Asskicker

          If only I could grow facial hair.

      2. Grand Moff Serious Man

        I wanted to include that but Reason's 1500 character limit sucks. But yeah, that's just, I don't know how to describe that.

        I feel confident in saying that the majority of people, both male and female, don't get direct pleasure from performing oral. It's just something you do to make your partner happy and that's that.

        1. Apatheist ?_??

          Speak for yourself.

          1. Fr?ulein Nikki

            Yeah...

            1. Certified Public Asskicker

              We like you for the most part Nikki. You don't need to try and impress us.

              1. Fr?ulein Nikki

                Apatheist validated me. Leave me alone!!

        2. Fr?ulein Nikki

          I think some people are really into it though. I mean to say, some non-negligible number of people.

          1. Grand Moff Serious Man

            Yeah, I guess that's also true. Now where do I find these women?

          2. Put me in the really into it category. The feeling of making a pretty lass dance on the tip of your tongue is just...heady and intoxicating.

            1. EDG reppin' LBC

              Will I find a believer
              Another one who believes
              Another one to deceive
              Over and over down on my knees
              If I get any closer
              And if you open up wide
              And if you let me inside
              On and on I've got nothing to hide (on and on I've got nothing to hide)

            2. AuH20

              ...Seconded.

            3. playa manhattan

              Ditto. Be good at the stuff you do or don't do it at all.

              1. Grand Moff Serious Man

                I've gotten pretty good feedback in the past so I'd say I am good at it.

                I don't dislike doing it, I just don't find it as special as HM. Oh well, to each their own.

                1. playa manhattan

                  Yer doin it wrong.

                  1. Grand Moff Serious Man

                    Perhaps. Taking their word for it, I have been the first guy to do that for a couple of girls I've been with so maybe I am.

                2. Apatheist ?_??

                  Yes, obviously everybody's boats are floated differently but I can't imagine getting someone off not being hot as hell.

                  1. Grand Moff Serious Man

                    If I couldn't get someone off I wouldn't do it in the first place, so yeah, that part makes it worth it.

                    1. Apatheist ?_??

                      Then you're halfway there, just learn to love the journey as well.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            I almost always enjoy giving more than receiving. A notable exception to that (in a good way) just moved away and it has been a crushing loss.

            1. Episiarch

              You finally had to sell your horse to the glue factory, huh, jesse? That's a shame.

            2. Irish

              Oh, Jesse! I miss you, too!

              1. jesse.in.mb

                That strikes oddly close to home since he just moved back to Chicago.

        3. Auric Demonocles

          don't get direct pleasure from performing oral. It's just something you do to make your partner happy

          You seem to be implying those aren't the same thing.

          1. Grand Moff Serious Man

            You can enjoy making someone happy without enjoying the act itself.

        4. Warty

          It's just something you do to make your partner happy and that's that.

          You poor sad little man.

        5. GILMORE

          I get direct pleasure from it, insofar as it is producing the desired *results*

          see, I'm a musical person. its like playing a very, very sticky saxophone.

      3. Irish

        Whoa. That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen and I've had conversations with Epi.

        1. Episiarch

          I'm working on it! I can be creepier! Let's talk about ProL's daughters for a bit!

          1. Auric Demonocles

            I knew I should have mentioned you when I made that comment earlier today, even if you're quite Warty.

      4. gaijin

        Some men call it a moustache. Others call it a flavor saver. Or a flavor savour?

    10. Lady Bertrum

      Yes, well. There is this stuff called 'soap'. Lather. Rinse. Repeat if necessary.

      1. Yeah...if you have a smelly chooch that some soap can't easily cure then you probably have an infection or an STD.

    11. Corning

      So those grow your dick email ads i get...are they sexist as well and demonstrate a cultural enforced self loathing among men?

    12. "Mom, do you ever feel not so fresh down there?"

  27. Notorious G.K.C.

    Belated recognition for 1984 battle with North Koreans who were trying to capture a Soviet defector:

    "So I Googled myself and it said, Mark A. Deville, recipient of the Silver Star."

    http://www.opb.org/news/articl.....in-coming/

  28. Rufus J. Firefly

    I need you guys opinion.

    An employee of mine just purchased a house and asked me to give a letter of reference which is not a problem.

    The problem is between her and her husband to be they earn 75k with a mortgage of $1800. This concerns me.

    Should I mention it to her?

    1. Mad Scientist

      Sure. Say you're happy to give her the reference, and would she like some friendly financial advice as well?

    2. lap83

      I wouldn't give them financial advice. Just realize that the letter of reference could reflect badly on you later on. Maybe the best lesson could be to NOT give it to them and then answer honestly if she asks why.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        My bad. It's just a letter the bank requires confirming she makes 'x' and for how long. Sorry. Still.

    3. Certified Public Asskicker

      It's under 30%, which is usually a general rule of thumb. Question is, have you noticed other bad money habits that would cast doubt on her ability to pay?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        No. They are tight belters. Typical savers and are ready to pour their lives into buying a home. She's responsible and a good worker.

    4. Corning

      Just buy one of Dave Ramsey's books and give it to her.

      Also 75K and $1800 rent does not seem that bad.

      lots of people make say 35K and have rent of $900 a month.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        75k is roughly 3400 net in Canada. Half the money is going into a mortgage.

        But if the bank determines their debt/equity ratio can support it, so be it.

        I just don't want to hear 'I need a raise because my house' in the future.

    5. playa manhattan

      They might have other money that you don't know about. Is there a mortgage interest deduction in Canada?

      1. Rufus J. Firefly

        No.

    6. Invisible Finger

      Seems like this employee is now hamstringing herself into doing all the shitty jobs because she can't quit.

      Of COURSE you give the letter!

  29. Coeus

    Socially awkward man hits on woman on facebook.

    Obviously, that means we need to totally rethink the videogame industry and make Hillary president.

    1. AuH20

      Has all this SJW bullshit on places like Deadspin and Kotaku and io9 actually increased page clicks? I would love to see some data, because my gut tells me "no".

      If the answer actually is "no"... then why the fuck is Gawker doing this?

      1. Irish

        In the case of Deadspin it's unquestionably decreased the amount of traffic it gets.

        I never go to Deadspin. Most of the people I know who are sports fans never go to Deadspin.

        Sports fans generally are not progressives. Most of them just generally don't care about politics when they're talking about sports, but my own experience has shown me that sports fans actually seem to lean conservative.

        Pissing off a massive number of sports fans doesn't seem like a good way to get page hits to your sports blog.

        1. Episiarch

          Deadspin is fine...as long as you completely ignore its links to other Gawker media.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly

          Deadspin is deadweight. Their commenters can get pretty douchey.

          Sports junkie here.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly

            http://firejaymariotti.blogspot.ca/

            I like those guys.

          2. Rufus J. Firefly

            http://firejaymariotti.blogspot.ca/

            I like those guys.

        3. Sidd Finch

          Here's a fancy pants graph of sports viewers and political affiliation.

      2. Corning

        I read Kotaku...

        And yes, though it shames me to admit, this stuff makes comment and read more comments then I otherwise would.

        On a fun note my comments have gotten responses like "hope you die", "you should be in jail", "Your an asshole" just on this specific facebook harassment subject.

        1. Irish

          God. Progressives are such miserable and pathetic people.

          As much as I hate them, their collective misery and self-loathing almost makes them pitiable.

          1. Episiarch

            They'd be pitiable if they weren't so dedicated to making sure the rest of us are as miserable as they are. But they just cannot leave others alone, so they get no pity.

            1. Irish

              I don't think I'd be as miserable as a progressive no matter what happened. You could torture me and I'd be less unhappy than the average poster at Jezebel.

              1. John

                Even when they get their way they are still pissed off. They were pissed off the day after Obama was elected.

              2. Episiarch

                That's because you're not filled with loathing, envy, and hatred for yourself and therefore everyone else.

                I honestly don't know what hating myself would feel like, but from what we can see with these people, it is horrible.

              3. Rufus J. Firefly

                Same here. I can't fathom ever being a loser like that.

    2. Coeus

      And for some reason, this was also posted on the site.

  30. Sevo

    Greeny feel-good program cut from BERKELEY SCHOOLS! Lefties aghast!
    "Drastic cuts proposed for Berkeley's schools' lauded edible program"
    http://blog.sfgate.com/inberke.....e-program/

    1. playa manhattan

      They had that when I was there. We had to go help the local elementary school for my Nutri Sci class. There were illiterate kids out working in the garden. Exactly the way the progs wanted it, I would assume.

      1. EDG reppin' LBC

        Sounds very... Cambodia?

        1. playa manhattan

          With 200 percent more drive bys.

      2. John

        That really sums up their idea of paradise doesn't it? All those kids needed was indoctrination and the chance to work in the peoples' garden.

        1. Bo Cara Esq.

          Wait, John, consistent with your position yesterday would not you have to say the problem is not this program, but that we have public schools at all?

          1. John

            Its saying that illiterate kids working in the communal garden sums up the Prog vision for the world. It is not saying anything about public education. It is saying that other than forced labor and political indoctrination masquerading as eduction, education doesn't interest progs very much.

            1. oh jeez Bo is still here too?

            2. Bo Cara Esq.

              But yesterday when I mentioned public schools teaching creationism you criticized me for bringing it up saying the issue was not creationism but public schools. But here with a leftist silly pedagogy it is worth noting critically apart from the existence of public schools in general, as if creationism is not as silly in its own ways as a gardening class.

              1. GILMORE

                We dealt with this, little Bo Blue.

                Stop pretending you had a point.

              2. Corning

                You can have publicly funded education without public schools.

                You know just like charter schools and vouchers which every libertarian discussion about schools has always contained and you would have to be a drooling idiot to miss.

    2. Juice

      What the hell is so bad about a school cooking and gardening program?

      1. playa manhattan

        See my comment above about the kids being illiterate. At least that was the case 15 years ago. Also, BUSD buses its elementary school students for "diversity".

        1. Juice

          Kids in Berkely, CA are illiterate?

          1. playa manhattan

            Parts of Berkeley are indistinguishable from Oakland. I have no problem with a cooking and gardening program, but this was a green indoctrination program, and it had to come at the expense of something.

            I tutored middle school (unpaid, part of an outreach program) kids while I was there, and yes, there are some illiterate kids in the district.

  31. Notorious G.K.C.

    Rand Paul on NPR!

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      Interviewer lets him talk.

      1. Corning

        I don't believe you.

  32. The Nobel nomination would mean something if those Scandi clowns hadn't made a complete joke of the prize by giving it to Obama.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    A trillion here, a trillion there...

    TRALALALALAAAAAH

    *gunshot offstage*

  34. Fr?ulein Nikki

    Umm...yeah, I got nothin'.

  35. Auric Demonocles

    Two Norwegian politicians have nominated Edward Snowden for the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize. They should ask to transfer over the one they gave to President Barack Obama.

    Scott you thieving bastard!

  36. "Marriage exists as a public institution, and not merely as a private relationship, because of the public purposes it serves."

    The State needs healthy children!

    1. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)

      all your gamete are belong to us

  37. The Supreme Court ordered a temporary stay of the execution of a Missouri man. Opponents are pointing to the state's lack of transparency about the drugs they're using to execute prisoners as a problem.

    I'm left wondering whatever happened to good old death-by-firing squad. Imagine the inspiring sight of showing one's uncoverede chest in defiance, while a squad of volunteers, all dressed like Continentals and armed with Charleville muskets, stand at attention, waiting for the order to present and fire. The thunder of six or seven weapons discharging almost at once. The smell of burned powder. The dark mist spewed by the rifles. Man, oh man! That's the way to go! That's a man's death! Not being strapped to a table while being injected with poisons - that's for cowards.

    1. Notorious G.K.C.

      "dressed like Continentals"

      Really? I would think firing squads looked more...Latin (put mouse over picture to read punch-line)

      http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1957.....0955202227

    2. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)

      "Would you be killed in your sleep, like an ailing pet?"

    3. Tulpa (LAOL-VA)

      And of course most death penalty recipients these days are guilty not of virile crimes but of sick and cruel ones.

  38. Coeus

    Feel the Rand Paul love fest on FTB.

    So much obfuscation, misinterpretation and cherry picking, I don't know where to start. And It's all in the comments. The article is about the SOTU.

  39. RishJoMo

    Thats some pretty crazy smack dude.

    http://www.Anon-VPN.com

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