Brickbat: Hairy Situation

Danny Valdes's stepdad is barber, and he carefully cut the Miami Heat logo and local skyline and area code into the 11-year-old's hair in anticipation of the boy attending his first Heat game. But when he got to Florida's Harns Marsh Middle School the next day officials decided his hair was not only "distracting" but gang related. So a counselor grabbed clippers and shaved Danny's head. The school claims the stepdad gave them permission to cut the boy's hair over the phone. The man denies that.
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We don't have school counsellors, so bear with me... why did the counsellor have a pair of clippers at work in the first place? Was he just waiting for the opportunity to shave a child? Or is "counsellor" 'Murican for "shitty personal stylist"?
I assume the counselor kept the clippers handy for a bit of personal manscaping between classes.
It's almost 7 am EST and Friday; where's my damn cartoon?
You are begging for the Friday Funnies?
You sick bastard.
The pain is all that keeps us going.
In general, I mean. It would be easy to just agree that 2+2=5 and embrace the world, but we refuse the sweet embrace of Big Bok and Master Payne and continue to fight.
Yes. Anything, even pain, just so we can feel something. Friday Funnies is our cutting.
I like my Fridays to begin with a riddle that is without possible solution.
Just for the sake of restoring some hope,albeit a minuscule amount, could we have just one story about educators behaving sensibly? Just one? Please?
soooo you want some sci-fi brickbats?
or would that be swords & sorcery?
Urban Fantasy.
One of my daughters is wearing a Harley Quinn shirt which shows Quinn holding a gun and I didn't send her home to change.
I bet that counselor doesn't hold the necessarycosmetologist's license to cut hair and should be fined and forced to join a barber's guild as an apprentice.
^This. Although we all know that rules are for little people; the state is immune.
Plus, if he wasn't charging for it he's probably not subject to licensure.
But it would be fun for the family's lawyer to get him on the stand and ask him about sterilization procedures.
*Sterilization procedures for the clippers, such as licensed barbers have to comply with.
if he wasn't charging
He did it during tax-funded work hours.
It's their system, but we can still use it:
Does the counselor have a barber's license?
What about training?
How was the equipment sanitized?
Why isn't this assault on a minor?
This is a terrible limerick. No rhyme, no meter. Just shameful.
There was an old man from Limerick
Who was completely unaware of the poetical style named after his home town
Er...
he wrote his five lines
At least twenty nine time
But his poem ...still sucked?
But his poem ...still sucked?
Most people find it jarring when something doesn't end the way they succotash.
This is a terrible limerick. No rhyme, no meter. Just shameful.
Better?
There once was a counselor of middle school
Who decided to be a little tool
He shaved the kid's head
In spite of the Dad
He knew he could break the golden rule.
Much improved.
Thank you. The coffee helped.
Where government agents are arrant,
Wear-and-tear-the-hair should need a warrant;
For the ultimate reckoning,
A lawsuit is beckoning:
Splitting heirs is apparent to parent.
Wow! Same spelling (sorta), but three different pronunciations. You should take my phonology class! (Sorry--forgot to take my linguist's hat off)
There once was a Senator from Mass
Who wanted a piece of ass
He lucked and found one
But fucked up and drowned one
And now his career's in the past
Indeed. I thought that unlicensed hairstyling was one of the worst crimes ever.
If it weren't for the electric clippers I'd have thought this was an Amish story.
Techno-Amish?
Wood-burning clippers.
Once again showing how the State is the biggest bully of them all.
The Miami Heat have mostly black players. Therefore, anything displaying their logo must be gang-related. Or something.
...and the city of Miami has many latino. Therefore, anything displaying the city skyline must be gang-related. Or something.
Today I learned NBA teams are actually gangs.
It all starts in Wisconsin high schools.
I can prove your hypothesis: Carmello Anthony, QED.
If someone did this to my kid I would bring clippers to the school and shave the head of the fucker who dared touch my kid.
"It must be gang-related" is the new "It must be satanic."
Regarding the gang-related BS, it would be nice to see the team or the league sue the *(&^%$#@! out of the school for defaming their brand.
Unfortunately, the team would probably also sue the kid for trademark infringement.