Brickbat: Too Close for Comfort


Kelcey Nicholas, 28, and Lataura Jarrett, 21, face up to 15 years in prison after being charged with incest, but they aren't related by blood. Nicholas is married to Jarrett's mother, and Nicholas County, West Virginia Sheriff David Hopkins says that state law defines it as incest if a stepparent and stepchild have sex, which is just what officers say they caught them doing when they went to arrest Nicholas for a home confinement violation.

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  1. If incest this is illegal in West Virginia then how the hell did all of the inbred rednecks get there?

    1. Because there aren’t enough police to check up on everyone who was sentenced to home confinement.

  2. Nicholas married Jarrett’s mother five years ago, and Jarrett had referred to him as her father, the sheriff said.

    Let’s face it, when your name is Lataura, you call everyone daddy.

    1. What do you have to say about the name Kelcey?

      1. When picking low hanging fruit, you start at the bottom.

  3. What a shame, cause I bet they would make beautiful children. But you know how it is folks, freedom means asking permission and falling in line regardless of the situation.

  4. Heck yeah man thats like way cool dude.

    1. You would say that wouldnt you?

  5. Caption Contest!

    “Kneel before Kelcey”

    1. “Iffen she ain’t good nuff for her daddy, who’d want’er?”

      1. “u don’t understand, i luv hiim!”

        1. “The chickens wouldn’t put out for him anymore.”

  6. Come on, she’s 21, the grandkids obviously weren’t makin themselves. Sometimes you gotta take matters into your own, er, hands

  7. The good news is, every other problem in that county has been solved and now they are down to prosecuting this BS.

    Or maybe it is just another case of “prosecutors gotta prosecute.”

  8. Millions of young women in Appalachia are afflicted with ignorant bitchface every year, often leaving them with no other sexual prospects than the serial sex offenders that married their mother in order to sponge off the family food stamp rations.

    For just the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can help Lataura and others like her learn to loose weight, use conditioner on her hair and get the ignorant bitch off her face long enough for a 17-year-old high school drop-out who has a real good job down to the plastic pipe factory impregnate her and begin the cycle of poverty and governmental teat-suckling all over again.

    Won’t you please help?

    1. Do you know what a cup of coffee costs these days?

      1. Do you know what it takes to get the bitch off of the face of a trailer park princess?

        1. How much does a teenth of meth go for these days?

          1. Or is the de-bitching done not by making her happy, but some other method?

            1. It’s actually a physical process, much like getting a dent out of a fender.

              1. Totally OT, but I found a great book in my library that was my grandfather’s on dent removal from fenders on old (1940s-1950s) cars. Back then they actually used expert techniques to repair rather than just bolting on new panels.

                1. Of course, cars were made out of metal back then and not honeycomb ABS.

    2. Not sure if intentional, but just how in hell does the lose/loose typo occur? It’s just about the most flagrant error to my sensibilities.

      1. Whats you’re problem?

  9. How in hell do you get caught by strangers in the act of fucking inside your own home? They dont have doors? Locks? Curtains? The cops have keys and snuck up on him?

    1. Ok, looking at the photos I suppose they could have been rutting in the yard.

    2. My guess is clear plastic stretched over the doors and windows due to Cousin Bobby’s drunken rage two years ago. Windows are expensive to replace, especially when you have payments to make on your 60″ Samsung LED and the DirecTV.

  10. Way to bust those stereotypes, West Virginia.

    1. There’s no redneck stereotype I couldn’t find for you if I drove an hour and a half east. I’ve seen a literal tar-paper shack with a satellite dish and a huge new truck parked out front.

      They had to build a special overpass in Paintsville because so many fat people on mobility scooters were getting hit by cars trying to get to Walmart.

      1. I drive down 79 to Huntington quite a bit and when you get off the nain roads it really does look like that. Shacks with busted.out windows repaired with.plastic and duct tape sporting satellite dishes, new trucks, just as you say.

      2. Huh. Sort of like a live-action Squidbillies?

      3. Back in the ’80s every single-wide trailer you could see from I-64 had some kind of big truck, a huge deck, and a 12′ satellite dish.

    2. Way to bust those stereotypes, West Virginia.

      Did ya hear the WV governor’s mansion burned down?
      Yep, right down to the axles!

  11. With the standard disclaimer about consenting adults etc. etc….I can only comment that this family clearly needs their own reality series IMMEDIATELY.

  12. So if mom hadn’t married and they just lived together, no foul for screwing the daughter as long as she is over the age of consent? (16 in WV)

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