North Korea

Kim Jong Un Reportedly Feeds Uncle to Starving Dogs; Is There Any Other Kind in North Korea?

Unconfirmed, implausible report nevertheless could only be true coming out of North Korea


almost definitely dead

The latest (unconfirmed, natch) news from the nightmare on earth that is North Korea relates to the disposition of Kim Jong Un's uncle (the husband of his father's sister), a high ranking official in charge of relations with China who was branded a traitor to the regime and executed. An unsourced December report from a Hong Kong newspaper that nevertheless has ties to the Chinese Communist Party claims Kim's uncle was executed along with several of his aides by being fed to 120 starving dogs. NBC News picked it up today:

Hong Kong-based pro-Beijing newspaper Wen Wei Po reported that Jang and his five closest aides were set upon by 120 hunting hounds which had been starved for five days. 

Kim and his brother Kim Jong Chol supervised the one-hour ordeal along with 300 other officials, according to Wen Wei Po. The newspaper added that Jang and other aides were "completely eaten up."

Over at the Washington Post, Max Fisher points out the story is probably (probably!) not true, explaining that Wen Wei Po isn't a pro-Beijing source in the same league as say, Xinhua, which has not reported on the execution by dogs, and that no South Korean news agency has picked it up despite the incentives to verify and disseminate the story.

The European cable news network euronews meanwhile, suggests that if the story is not true, it was fabricated either by Beijing or Pyongyang, although it certainly could've also been fabricated by the Hong Kong newspaper itself.

As Fisher and euronews both highlight, however, North Korea's own self-imposed isolation makes it impossible to verify a story like this, while its history of brutality and horror make it impossible to dismiss an otherwise insane story with certitude. Kim Jong Un has ordered the execution of many high-ranking North Korean officials already in an effort to consolidate power since taking over when his father died just more than two years ago. The public manner in which his powerful uncle, Jang Sung-Taek, was denounced as a traitor and stripped of his positions was certainly unprecedented, while Kim's desire to see an enemy executed in a way so that "no trace of him" was left behind is not. South Korean media reported a few months ago that Kim ordered an army minister be executed by mortar fire to achieve just that result.

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  1. So is this man bites dog or dog bites man story?

    1. Nice catch, I’m pretty sure it’s both. Ouroboros!

    2. Dog eats man is still newsworthy.

  2. And then the dogs were slaughtered and served at a feast to honor Dennis Rodman.

    1. Hey Kim may be a sociopath but he wouldn’t shoot an innocent dog like some common piece of shit might do.

      1. I wonder if Dennis Rodman considers human feces a delicacy too….

  3. I should be very disturbed that a joke I made earlier today showed up in the headline.

    But then again, gallows humor about North Korea’s mismanagement and routine food crises isn’t isolated by ideology.

  4. I’d heard anti-aircraft machineguns (probably the 14.5mm KPV) as a recent method of execution, and possibly flamethrowers, but mortars are not very accurate weapons, and seem like an odd choice for an execution — They could certainly kill a guy tied to a post in the middle of a field by shock and fragmentation, but there would be much more left of him than if you just sat him on top of a bomb.

    1. I’m sure they have enough mortars to nullify the lack of accuracy. Pity the poor soldier that misses, though.

      1. Near misses would probably be rewarded, if you think about it.

    2. I don’t think it’s about efficiency. It’s about amusing a murderous, psychopathic, chubby man-child.

    3. They shot the mortar once, dragged the dude into the crater, and fired it again obliterating him.

      1. And then realized it was soviet gear, so the loose tolerences mean that the shell never hit the same place twice.

  5. I heard their basketball team is coming along nicely.

    1. Until the leader misses a shot. The time-outs are killers!

  6. At this point, does it really matter if it’s true? It just seems like they started running at ludicrous speed a decade ago, and it wouldn’t only be noticeable if stories weren’t ridiculous.

    1. At this point, does it really matter if it’s true?

      MP, the quote is: “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

      Of course, what difference, at this point, does it make?

    2. It’s been way more than a decade. The big famine was in the 90’s.

      Who knows how bad it was before that.

  7. Wait a second how can starving Koreans, and dogs exist in the same country?

    1. These are ‘dear leader’s’ dogs, the proles can’t eat them.

  8. See, this is truly an insane regime. I was rather surprised that we tamely sat back and let them have nukes. Of all countries, that might be the one to worry about. And China is right there–what the heck are they smoking?

    1. Any war with NK is going to involve lots and lots of civilian casualties in S. Korea and Japan. I’m not too surprised that people do whatever they can to avoid that.

      1. I’m not recommending a war or any action. I’m just saying I could see something with this country more than any other, even Iran, which is only half crazy. Well, maybe three quarters.

        What surprises me most is that China didn’t wink at us and tell the North Koreans to drop the nuke program.

        1. From the US point of view, containment of North Korea makes sense. However, from the point of view of South Korea and Japan it looks like a bad dice game. Maybe Dear Leader won’t decide to Nuke Seoul or Tokyo, but who really knows?

          This is a guy who (may have?) fed his uncle to a pack of starving dogs. To quote Bailey, this guy is nuttier than a squirrel’s turd. MAD depends on the other side being rational and caring about his own population. Would it surprise anybody if Kim Jong Un decided to go into his deepest and most heavily equipped bunker and order his military to launch a full strike against everyone within reach?


            Appropriate, and it seems so silly now.

            And it was silly then too.

  9. Anyone reminded of Caligula?

    Whether the story is true or not, whether it’s believed to be true, or even whether it’s believable, might be more important than whether it actually is true.

    1. Does Kim Jong Un have a sister?

    2. Or G-d?

      30 When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jez?ebel heard of it; and she painted her eyes, and adorned her head, and looked out of the window. 31 And as Jehu entered the gate, she said, “Is it peace, you Zimri, murderer of your master?” 32 And he lifted up his face to the window, and said, “Who is on my side? Who?” Two or three eunuchs looked out at him. 33 He said, “Throw her down.” So they threw her down; and some of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses, and they trampled on her. 34 Then he went in and ate and drank; and he said, “See now to this cursed woman, and bury her; for she is a king’s daughter.” 35 But when they went to bury her, they found no more of her than the skull and the feet and the palms of her hands. 36 When they came back and told him, he said, “This is the word of the Lord, which he spoke by his servant Eli?jah the Tishbite, ‘In the territory of Jezreel the dogs shall eat the flesh of Jez?ebel; 37 and the corpse of Jez?ebel shall be as dung upon the face of the field in the territory of Jezreel, so that no one can say, This is Jez?ebel.'”

  10. Full on, balls out, inferno-fiddlin’ crazy.

    1. Crazier than a shit-house rat.

  11. The dogs weren’t even that hungry they were just high on meth

    1. Not “bath salts”?

      1. If it was bath salts, the dogs would have eaten each other. Because, cannibalism?

  12. South Korea needs their own Yakkov Smirnov, stat.

    “In Soviet Korea, dog eats you!”

  13. Is this finally the year that some subordinate caps this crazy dude?

    1. I think that’s what Uncle Jang tried.

    2. I think that just became less likely.

  14. This is utterly believable. Is North Korea’s fate to degenerate more and more until it becomes a massive Jonestown? Millions of starving true believers just waiting for it all to end?

    I suppose an intervention (China?) would occur before it got to that point. But the weaponry makes this more difficult than simple humanitarianism.

    1. Well, the good part of being an isolated commie nut house is that their military is completely obsolete.

      The Chinese or South Korean military could handle the NK’s very easily (although they could kill a lot of civilians in Seoul with artillery). Their ability to actually deliver a working nuke to a target is pretty much their only other threat.

      1. “Their ability to actually deliver a working nuke to a target is pretty much their only other threat.”

        No, not really.

        Even if NK doesn’t have an actual working nuclear weapon, it would be trivial for them to bombard Seoul with chemical, biological and radiological munitions.

        “When North and South Korea trade artillery rounds, as they did this past Tuesday, killing four and injuring at least 16, some panicked hyperbole is understandable. First, there’s the unfortunate geography?the opponents’ capitals are just 120 miles apart, with Seoul within 35 miles of the border. The numbers only get worse, with estimates of as many as 13,000 artillery pieces positioned along that border, many of them within range and presumably aimed directly at Seoul, one of the world’s most densely-populated cities. Factor in the rate of fire of all those suspected artillery batteries, and throw in the potential launch of hundreds of missiles, and it’s easy to conclude that if North Korea is pushed hard enough, the result could be, as the New York Times put it yesterday, “the destruction of Seoul.” ”…..ning-seoul

        1. Did I not say they could kill a lot of people in Seoul with arty?

          Then a state of the art military attacks one with 1950’s tech and it’s over in a week unless the Chinese intervene again.

          Think of the tech edge we had over Iraq in 1991, then double it.

        2. Here’s a question:

          If teh NoRKs start a full-on barrage of Seoul with all those tubes, would a tactical nuclear strike on the artillery parks be justified?

          1. Not sure the people of Seoul would appreciate it – they are pretty damn close.

    2. Nevermind. I suffer from the cognitive bias that the present is the pivotal moment and it cannot get any worse. North Korea has a nightmarish history that I can’t even begin to grasp.

      1. Ironic that pre-WWII, the north was the industrial heart of Korea and the south was more of an agricultural area.

        1. Communism has a habit of doing that.

    3. I have no doubt that the Chinese government could dispatch the Baby God Dictator of the Norks to the Glorious Workers’ Democratic Afterlife on about an hour’s notice if they choose to do so. For China, it comes down to whether they want to kick over the can of worms that would probably result.


    4. I have to imagine that South Korea fears unification almost as much as another war – after so much physical and mental abuse integrating the North’s population into your society is going to be a nightmare – a saintly act, perhaps, but an incredible burden.

  15. The other report I heard about Kim Jong Un…

    He had a girlfriend (a famous singer in North Korea) that his father disapproved of, and so she was sent away. When Kim Jong Un’s father died and he came to power, he had his old girlfriend found again, but she had already married someone else and had children. She apparently didn’t want to leave her family and start things up again.

    So, Kim Jong Un had her accused of the crime of making a sex tape, and she was executed by firing squad. Apparently her husband and children were all either executed or sent to hell hole camp, too.…..d/2726081/

    I’m not sure this is about consolidating power. This reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode, where the little kid has the ability to do anything he wants. He changes people that tick him off in some way into jack in the box, etc.

    He’s worse that Uday and Qusay, and it’s basically the same disease. I’ve seen some overprivileged friends from high school turn into real douchebags. That’s why Warren Buffet refuses to leave his children any money.

    1. That’s why Warren Buffet refuses to leave his children any money.

      Lets not quibble over a few million here or there.

      1. I had read that, and he had always promised he wouldn’t leave them any money…

        But I just did a little research, and it looks like Buffet broke down and gave them gobs of money.

        He promised that he wouldn’t leave them any money for decades. He was famous for it.

        So I retract that statement, or, rather, I amend it to read: “That’s why Warren Buffet promised not to leave his children any money”.

        I guess they all turned out okay.

        1. He promised that he wouldn’t leave them any money for decades. He was famous for it.

          Ted Turner was famous for promising the UN some crazy amount of money too.

          Follow thru is different than speech.

          1. His kids are in their ’50s now, and I understand they all turned out okay.

            Seems to have worked.

            I’ve seen kids with parents who have much less turn into real douche bags.

    2. How many of the stories from Iraq turned out to be true? I heard of people being fed into industrial plastic chippers, and an ex girlfriend covered with honey and fed to the dogs.

      1. I’ve seen video of some stuff that leads me to believe a lot of it is true. Uday and Qusay used to get off on this ritual, where people would run swords through themselves and parade through the audience–supposedly in a trance state. The participants later claimed to have been under threat to their families. I mean, the sadism is real…

        The murder of Hamel Hana Gegeo was confirmed.…..#Biography

        I’ve also seen video from Saddam Hussein’s own personal “Night of the Long Knives”, when he collected all the major party people into one room and read the names off of all of his rivals. They were sent out the front door and shot on the spot.

        What I had heard from more than one source was that Uday was the one who shot them all–and he was just a little kid at the time. Saddam Hussein wanted to toughen him up, so he’d grow up to be a ruthless ruler.

        It’s easy to believe a megalomaniac would raise psychopathic children on purpose; regardless, Saddam was a megalomaniac, and Usay was a psychopath.

        Some of the stories about wood chippers and making the soccer team kick concrete balls, etc. are kind of out there, but there seems to be some kind of cross cultural impulse, too, that comes over the children of people with absolute power. Cross culturally and throughout history, this seems to happen often.

        This is why they invented the whipping boy.

    3. Apparently her husband and children were all either executed or sent to hell hole camp, too.

      See, that’s what is going to motivate some insider to pop a cap in the fat little asshole.

      Sure, he’ll know he’s a dead man, but once you go after people’s families, not everyone will sit quiet until you come for him. Because he’ll know you’ll be coming for his family, too.

      1. I don’t know.

        Stalin did the same stuff, and he died at the ripe old age of 74.

        The fat kid might be able to keep arbitrarily executing people and their families, and letting his people starve to death by the hundreds of thousands, every so often (just to relieve the economic pressure) for…decades.

        The only time I can remember somebody on the inside taking the initiative like that was when the prince of Nepal–back in the 1990s–went berserk and killed the entire rest of the royal family, including children, because his mother didn’t approve of the girl he wanted to marry. He declared himself king, and a few days later the palace announced that he was dead.

        I’m trying to think of another situation like that. I suppose some of those Soviet deaths after Brezhnev were kinda iffy. But other than that, in modern history? I can’t think of too many.

        History needs more Stauffenbergs!

  16. See what you can accomplish with an undivided government?

  17. Who runs Barter Town? and by that I mean who is the man backing up this fat dork? no way this kid has the mental faculty to keep hungry generals in line.

  18. “Over at the Washington Post, Max Fisher”

    So Max finally graduated from Rushmore Academy?

  19. Poor Jim Jong-Un just can’t win. You KNOW if he didn’t feed his uncle to the 120 starving dogs, he would be taking lots of flak for letting so many poor dogs starve…

  20. C’mon, did you not watch _Deadwood_, in which Lovejoy fed his victims to the Chinaman’s pigs in the pen down the street?

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