Friday Funnies: Jobless Benefits

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[Fist of Etiquette]

This cartoon exists.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

There is no cartoon.

[UnCivilServant]

What’s a cartoon?

[Live Free or Diet]

What is existence?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

There is no Fist.

[db]

It is not the Fist that bends, it is only yourself.

[gaijin]

Every comment generates 6+ new comments. See the multiplier is real!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I bend over for the fist, is that close enough?

[General Butt Naked]

Too much Golden Girls growing up, eh?

[Anomalous]

Ceci n’est pas une bande dessin?e.

[Ted S.]

**** you — I was thinking the same thing. 😉

[Auric Demonocles]

The alt-text doesn’t.

[UnCivilServant]

Who’s the fat guy? And why is that coat rack talking?

[Suthenboy]

It could almost be funny except that our Top Men are actually pushing that horse shit.

[Live Free or Diet]

You’re too kind. Horse shit is good for the crops. What they’re pushing is not.

[invisible furry hand]

What mutant creature is about to erupt from the lump on the guy’s back?

[sage]

That’s his gorgeous rounded ass, shaped by hours of weightlifting and twerking.

[Swiss Servator, Pikes Forward!]

Sage, did you forget something?!

Fine, leave it to me.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[sage]

Thanks! I’ve been slacking. And drinking. One leads to another typically.

[Gilbert Martin]

It’s an Alien with a bad sense of direction.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Spend $1, take back $1.8 in extra taxes, spend that $1.8……

INFINITE MONEY!!!!!

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

MULTIPLIERS EVERYWHERE!

[Andrew S.]

Math checks out. You should run for Congress.

[Doctor Whom]

So Marion Barry was right: Government spending really is a perpetual-motion machine.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

and the bitch really did set him up

[db]

We need more, not fewer, crack-smoking mayors.

[Fatty Bolger]

Not terrible, Bok. Not terrible at all.

Merry Christmas from Barry and Harry

[cavalier973]

It’s funny because it’s true.

[Mike M.]

+1 Krugnut.

[db]

I know a guy who took the 99 weeks of unemployment benefits after being downsized at his IT job rather than looking earnestly for a new job. Now he can’t be hired in that field again because he spent so much time out of the labor pool. Most employers don’t like to see long gaps in employment history unless you can show you were legitimately self employed in a related field or actively pursuing higher education or training. He was only a year or two out of college and hadn’t built up a lot of experience.

I feel bad for him because of the trap set by the overly generous benefits, but he made some bad decisions too.

[invisible furry hand]

and now like Janet said he’s earning $153,964 by working on the internet and you can’t believe it?

[Swiss Servator, Pikes Forward!]

And he uses this one weird trick to save hundreds on his utilities!

[db]

This one weird trick is a floor wax and a dessert topping!

[SQRLSY One]

It’s also a tooth paste AND a hemorrhoid ointment, a condom AND a sausage wrapper, AND a cigarette AND a sex toy too! AND it is a retirement plan AND a way for Government Almighty to make your charity choices FOR you, you benighted scum who would otherwise blow all yer money on low-brow beer & P&J sandwiches, instead of ENLIGHTENED art as selected by the NEA!

[Mercutio]

And what, pray tell, is wrong with P&J sandwiches?

[SQRLSY One]

PB & J sandwiches are the mark of the low-brows who would DARE to decide for their own, un-enlightened, ill-informed, un-educated, un-licensed, un-degreed, unwashed and flat-out IGNERNT selves, WITHOUT the benefit of the kindly advice of their Moral and Professional Superiors in Government Almighty, who have DEGREES and CREDENTIALS in what kind of stuff-and-stuff we ignernt peons should be allowed to stuff into our bodies & stuff!!! Only granola and locally farmed organic foods should cross our lips! PB & J sandwiches have bio-engineered Franken-food cooties in them, didn’t cha know?!?! So hard-working fishermen in Alaska and oil-field rough-necks in Wyoming should be FORCED to better themselves and by-pass those ignernt, low-brow PB & J sandwiches, so as to pay taxes to fund advanced and tasteful ART as selected by the Ones Who Know Better, NEA for example, in Warshington, D.C., the Abode of the Higher Organisms? Even if said low-brow taxpayers NEVER expect to be able to afford a visit to the High-Brow Art Museums of DC?

[wareagle]

a good case could be made that what this guy is exactly what the 99-week system was intended to produce. Each week you are out of work makes the return that much harder, not just from how employers view you but also from the act of readjusting to having a schedule and responsibilities.

[db]

But to what purpose? This guy is definitely not the sort to go voting for Obama. He claims he voted for Ron Paul and Gary Johnson in the previous elections. Maybe his taking advantage of the policy while voting for its opponents is born of cynicism atypical of most of its beneficiaries.

[Irish]

This guy is definitely not the sort to go voting for Obama. He claims he voted for Ron Paul and Gary Johnson in the previous elections.

Then he’s a hypocritical moron.

[db]

I wouldn’t tell him that and then get within 1000 yards of him ever again.

[Auric Demonocles]

I still don’t think it’s necessary hypocritical to oppose welfare but also to use it. Depends on your rational for opposing it.

[Scruffy Nerfherder]

Why do you feel sorry for him? The choice to collect on unemployment benefits while taking a couple of years to play Call of Duty was his to make.

[db]

It’s possible to empathize with those who make greivous mistakes.

[gaijin]

^Seconded

[Swiss Servator, Pikes Forward!]

IT’S AT TRAP!

/sympathy for Admiral Akbar

[John Galt]

“Let’s put everybody on unemployment.”

You already tried that, Dumbo-Ears!

[The Late P Brooks]

Needz moar government-mandated labulz.

[General Butt Naked]

“Funnies”

That word doesn’t mean what you think it does.

[UnCivilServant]

The “Funnies” are supplied by the commentariat.

[General Butt Naked]

So then I should ask you guys for my money back?

[UnCivilServant]

We get paid?

[SQRLSY One]

Well, Shiites, man, now ya got me thinkin’, I should be demandin’ mah MIN WAGE for my time spent enlightening y’all w/mah wisdumb on this that them thar inter-web Reason site… WHERE does Ah appeal to the Guv-Mint Almighty?!?!?!

[Will4Freedom]

If I may be serious for a minute, I’ve heard Nancy P. say something like this before. Do they really believe it and if so? what is their logic?

Why us an Unemployment dollar multiplying like that, but our EARNED dollars do not? Or are they?

Government taxes, borrows or creates a dollar. Gives it to someone as an unemployment benefit. They buy a pack of gum for dollar. That dollar gets divided up between the store owner, gum supplier and taxes. At what point does it actually turn into $1.80? We need to find that part. I’ve got a few dollars that could use multiplying.

[Gilbert Martin]

It only multiplies when the gubmit does it!

[gimmeasammich]

Just ask Ben Bernanke.

[Almanian!]

Not awful. Therefore, not perfect.

Happy Fryday and Merry Christmas, Reasonoids.

[Robert Enders]

The only government spending that creates more money than it spends is the Bureau of Printing and Engraving.

[Calvin Coolidge]

Even they lose money on every penny they mint.

[Will4Freedom]

I had an uncle that worked there. He could have gotten my father (R.I.P.) who was also an engraver… a job there. But my father didn’t want to move out of New Jersey. Are KIDDING ME? If he could see the state of NJ now, he’d be kicking himself.

I wonder if my political beliefs would have been different if he’d have taken the job. And would I talk with a southern accent?

[MaggieMansfielddva]

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