Congress Plans Wacky Roast for HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius

Fire up the DVR and prep some snacks: Kathleen Sebelius will actually testify before Congress about the Obamacare launch disaster, someday soon, maybe, schedule permitting. Politico notes:

HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius plans to testify before Congress about the rocky Obamacare rollout as early as next week, her office confirmed Monday.

Sebelius intends to testify before the House Energy and Commerce Committee whenever they can find a "mutually agreeable date," HHS spokeswoman Joanne Peters said.

The "mutually agreeable date" is not this Thursday, apparently, which is when a hearing is scheduled. Republicans are upset that she won't be there this week, but the administration said she has a commitment in Phoenix -- perhaps maybe a show at the Scottsdale Comedy Spot?

Guys, don't despair. Just take a cue from Comedy Central, given her recent appearance on The Daily Show, and prep a good fun roast. I'm sure they could get Seth McFarlane to be roastmaster. Warn C-Span to consider a delay, though. I hear Republican Rep. Bill Johnson of Ohio likes to work blue (the irony!).

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Comments

[Paul.]

Fire up the DVR and prep some snacks: Kathleen Sebelius will actually testify before Congress about the Obamacare launch disaster, someday soon, maybe, schedule permitting. Politico notes:

Why do they do this?

Some politicians grandstand, even the ones you like often miss the point or get specific facts wrong, the rest run interference for the administration, the press corps focus only on personalities, nothing changes, Obamacare marches on relentlessly sucking all your healthcare into it, 404 errors be damned.

Can't we just be doomed quietly?

[Episiarch]

Because Congress has willingly neutered themselves and need to pretend to the people that they can still compel testimony and yell at people when there are horrible fuckups, even though nothing happens.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

The House Republicans don't want to admit they took the wrong approach, and failed, would be my guess.

[rts]

Don Rickles roasting Dean Martin... not that's a roast.

[Paul.]

Yeah, there won't be any alcohol or cigarettes being consumed at this roast, I'm afraid.

[Pro Libertate]

They're going to burn her alive? That seems a bit extreme, and I'm not sure it's constitutional.

[The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc]

I'd agree to a burning, but only if the House breaks out into song first!

[Pro Libertate]

Jesus, that's brilliant. Barack Obama, Superstar. A musical without any spoken parts. With lots of choral singing by the House and the Senate.

[The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc]

Directed by Joss Whedon?

[Pro Libertate]

I was thinking Andrew Lloyd Weber. He's not dead yet, is he?

[Pro Libertate]

Webber, and no, he still walks among us.

[The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc]

I heard he likes to hang out with his bros Elton and the two Stephens

[Auric Demonocles]

It's a tax.

[Auric Demonocles]

I sort went off on a tangent in my head and came up with a hypothetical. What if Congress passed a law which said the Supreme Court was unable to rule on the constutionality of laws, or just disbanded it entirely. Now obviously those laws would be ruled unconstitutional... But doesn't the law need to be overturned before the court has the power to overturn it?

[The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc]

I'd rather have a Senate hearing where personalities like Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, and others can ask questions.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ok, I'm spending tonight rocking out to 80's cartoon themes on youtube. Right now blasting the He-Man theme, because they way they pronounce it, it sounds like Thai for "smelly pussy", which has my wife rolling on the floor in laughter.

Before was the kickass theme to M.A.S.K., which got me so pumped that I roundhouse kicked myself! In the face!

What say you? What's next?

[Pro Libertate]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast? Or was that the 90s?

[Heroic Mulatto]

I was in college when SGCtC was on, so definitely 90s.

The Silverhawks intro gets props for actually featuring the 80's power guitar solo into the animated sequence.

[SweatingGin]

Damn, that was a *lot* of '80's.

[The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc]

Inspector Gadget

[Cdr Lytton]

Yes! Serious man beat me to Gadget so... GI Joe?

[Heroic Mulatto]

For GI Joe, you gotta go with the movie intro...So. Fucking. Epic.

[Cdr Lytton]

Early to mid '80s cartoons are the awesomest. 30 minute advertisements for toys you could buy at the store. They made me the bi-monocle wearer I am today.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Indeed. I think my first chest-grew in response to the fucking awesomeness of the Inhumanoids intro. I don't think the Tet Offensive had as many casualties as was depicted in those 30 seconds.

[Heroic Mulatto]

chest-hairs

[Old Man With Candy]

Bullshit. There's Tex Avery and there's everything else. Violence, sex, alcohol, smoking, redheads... seriously, what else could you want?

Where's the 1980s Screwball Squirrel (the most perfect cartoons ever made)?

[Heroic Mulatto]

And speaking of the movie intro...that is exactly how the fucking live action movie should have been! Fuck Hollywood. The whole fun of GI Joe is that it's as the creators of Bioshock Infinite put it, "American Obnoxious". It's an excuse to put on a foam finger and shout USA! USA! while we kick ass and not have to worry about the moral implications. It's pure patriotic fantasy, so off course Hollywood had to fuck it up. I'm surprised Cobra wasn't turned into were polluting corporate-funded terrorists. If you actually watch the cartoon's pilot from back in the 80's, COBRA was depicted as a blood-thirsty religious cult, based in Afghanistan, I shit you not.

[Killazontherun]

My nephew has the full collection of GI Joe comic books from that era, oddly enough, they are not that bad, a lot of literary license about the geopolitical world and technology, of course; but you know what, several grades up in awareness than your average Hollywood production on those two scores where Tom Clancy or Michael Crichton were not involved.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Old school GI Joe comics were quite sophisticated. Look how they approached Snakeeye's Nam days, for example. And the current ones aren't so bad either. Max Brooks is writing for them.

[SweatingGin]

Of course, cobra commander had the one plot to release a bunch of shaving cream into the air to destroy the ozone layer. Then cobra would sell sunblock, IIRC.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Holy shit! You're right, though it's a new-school episode.

Back in my day, COBRA merely tried to recruit you through heavy metal.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Related: Cobra Commander: Libertarian Hero

[SweatingGin]

Tear to my eye... Explains a lot of how I ended up this way. The mask is kind of like a monocle.

Also an opportunity for a hipster band to hit a 30 second 80's nostalgia track.

[Heroic Mulatto]

And this is were statists come from.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Gotta respect an kid's animation studio by the name of "DiC".

[BakedPenguin]

I liked the original better.

[The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc]

This is 90s and not a cartoon, but still:

The best kids' show theme ever

[Heroic Mulatto]

Have you ever seen the Pete and Pete reunion? I think it's on Funny or Die.

[SweatingGin]

Transformers.

If I get the Jem theme song stuck in my head because of this, so help me...

[Heroic Mulatto]

Transformers is a given.

Remember Dinosaucers? Those were the days they actually asked kids what they wanted to watch. The eight-year-old boys of the world obviously said "dinosaurs who fly spaceships and fight each other". I mean, since I'm all grown up, all you'd have to do is add titties to that shit, and I'd religiously watch it today.

[SweatingGin]

I do now.

Turbo Teen

[SweatingGin]

And of course, robot chicken hits it out of the park

[Heroic Mulatto]

Heh. I remember that.

This is what Saturday morning was about for me.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Thundarr the Barbarian was a thinly disguised version of Jack Kirby's Fourth World/New Gods mythos, which is why the bad guy is a clone of Darkseid.

It is also the origin of AGW theory.

[Ken Shultz]

"The administration said she has a commitment in Phoenix."

That's okay. We already knew where the American people stand on this administration's priority list anyway.

We certainly know we're less important than whatever's happening in Phoenix.

[Homple]

Her commitment in Phoenix is a hairdresser appointment.

[Michael Price]

"The administration said she has a commitment in Phoenix."
When are the asylum staff going to release her?

[PapayaSF]

"I'm happy to be here tonight with Kathleen Sebelius. You may not know it, but she helped write the Obamacare law. She wanted to make sure all health insurance would cover Grecian Formula for Women."

[Sevo]

She won't testify! Executive privilege! National security!

[JidaKida]

US POlitics, best politics money can buy lol.

http://www.AnonWonders.tk