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Govt. Shutdown Looms After Senate Rejects House Conditions To Spending Bill, French Workers Want To Work on Sunday, Illinois Begins Setting Up Medical Marijuana Program: P.M. Links

Matthew Feeney | 9.30.2013 4:30 PM

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  • The Senate has rejected the House's conditions to a temporary spending bill that would have kept the government operating while also delaying or repealing parts of Obamacare. Obama is not resigned to a government shutdown. Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has accused Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) of trying to force a government shutdown. 
  • Some French workers are asking for the government revise an over century-old law that prohibits most stores from opening on Sunday.
  • Officials in Illinois have begun setting up a system that would allow people to legally purchase medical marijuana.
  • Bitcoin maverick Jed McCaleb is looking into setting up a new alternative digital currency.
  • Eurozone inflation is at a three-year low.
  • IKEA is planning to start selling residential solar panels in the U.K.

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NEXT: Are You an "Essential" Federal Worker? Survey Sez: Nope!

Matthew Feeney is a policy analyst at the Cato Institute.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has accused Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) of trying to force a government shutdown.

    We seem to be getting a lot of news reports about what Democrats are saying about the shutdown, not much about what the GOP is saying. I wonder why that is.

    1. Protagoronus   12 years ago

      and he’s back on top

      1. Teenage Girl   12 years ago

        Eewww!!

    2. gaijin   12 years ago

      We seem to be getting a lot of news reports about what Democrats are saying

      Maybe you should change where you choose to get your news?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        NEVER. I live a Reason 24/7 news consumer and I will die a Reason 24/7 news consumer.

  2. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    Does Ted Cruz look like the Cubano version of Bill Murray?

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

      he looks Canadian to me, dude

      1. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

        Eh, joser?

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Great. Now I close the day with coffee on my shirt. That came out my nose.

        2. gaijin   12 years ago

          is the ‘j’ a silent ‘h’ in Canadianese?

          1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

            It isn’t in Cubanadian.

            1. RBS   12 years ago

              Bobandian

        3. sloopyinca   12 years ago

          Wha joo talkin’ bou, joo hoser?

          -Tony Montana-Smythe

      2. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

        His eyes aren’t beady and his head doesn’t flap up and down. I don’t think he’s Canadian.

    2. RBS   12 years ago

      He does! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that.

  3. rts   12 years ago

    Former Edmonton cop Derek Huff blows whistle on brutality, corruption

    Huff is a 10-year-veteran who resigned in February, three years after he said he and his partner watched ? stunned ? as three plainclothes officers viciously beat a handcuffed man while he was down.

    1. CE   12 years ago

      Three years later, he decided he couldn’t be part of a police force that acted that way.

    2. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

      Call me when he serves time for aiding and abetting criminal behavior and abuse of authority.

    3. Bryan C   12 years ago

      So he and his partner immediately ran to the victim’s aid, arresting the criminals on the spot, testifying against them in court, and making sure they were forever barred from law-enforcement. Right?

  4. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has accused Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) of trying to force a government shutdown.

    Go fuck yourself, Reid. Also, fuck you, cut spending.

  5. Sevo   12 years ago

    “Some French workers are asking for the government revise an over century-old law that prohibits most stores from opening on Sunday.”

    Not to mention French consumers!

    1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      A Frenchman who wants to work? Now I’ve seen everything.

      1. lap83   12 years ago

        They are just upset that they have to wait an extra day to buy cigarettes. They don’t actually want to work that day.

    2. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

      Ahh, that magical combination of Catholic moralism and Union laziness-at-the-point-of-a-gun.

      1. RannedPall   12 years ago

        Hey, Mexico is a predominantly catholic country and they work all the- Well, maybe not the best example…

    3. CE   12 years ago

      But will the French government surrender to those demands?

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Were they supplied in German?

  6. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Officials in Illinois have begun setting up a system that would allow people to legally purchase medical marijuana.

    It looks like Obama is going to have to kick down his home state’s door, probably shoot its dog.

  7. Matrix   12 years ago

    SmartWater (not the beverage brand) used to turn thieves green
    This is pretty awesome.

    1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      When are they finally gonna release the stuff that turns you purple if you pee in a pool?

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        I think they decided that it was just better not to know when the whole pool immediately turned purple.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      *** rising intonation ***

      I think I detect a new teenage fad!

    3. Brett L   12 years ago

      The obvious thing to do for criminals is to set this stuff up everywhere. Blanket the environment with it.

    4. PD Scott   12 years ago

      “It’s not easy being green.”

  8. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Why Justice Nadon’s Appointment is a Blow to Gender Equality in Canada

    Justice Nadon was a Quebec appointee, and there are currently two very knowledgeable and practiced women judges from this province that were expected to receive this appointment (one of them being Justice Marie-France Bich). And yet, somehow the very privileged white man is deemed the top candidate by another very privileged white man. This isn’t an issue of picking the absolute best candidate, but of gender inequality.

    1. Winston   12 years ago

      This isn’t an issue of picking the absolute best candidate, but of gender inequality.

      So the mask is off I guess.

    2. PD Scott   12 years ago

      TL, DR: Bich, please!

    3. CE   12 years ago

      (one of them being Justice Marie-France Bich)…

      The plaintiffs and defendants all agreed that the judge was a Bich.

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        So she didn’t get on the Canuck Supreme Court. She could still get a really popular TV show and make much more money.

        “Don’t give me any sass – I’m the judge and I’m-a Bich-slap your ass!”

        1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

          /theme song

      2. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

        o/~ Instead of “bitch” drop the T, because Bich is latin for generosity… o/~

        1. seguin   12 years ago

          Only in South Park, Colorado.

  9. db   12 years ago

    I can’t wait to see the fires caused by IKEA solar panels assembled by idiot Euro-DIYers.

  10. Derpetologist   12 years ago

    Amanda Marcotte- if you thought her writing was irritating, get a load of one of her lectures:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=902yzAwbGW0

    She appears to have a tattoo of a hair dryer on her right arm and a DNA strand on her left- as do all serious thinkers.

    1. gaijin   12 years ago

      as do all serious thinkers.

      So, she probably has a picture of Einstein on the wall too.

      1. Derpetologist   12 years ago

        I had one of those…

      2. Restoras   12 years ago

        But the one where he is sticking his tongue out, amirite?

        1. gaijin   12 years ago

          the sensual tongue version of course. ;p

      3. db   12 years ago

        But does she display a serious, thoughtful Einstein, or a wacky, tounge-wagging “Al?”

        1. db   12 years ago

          How the fuck did I misspell to gue?”

          1. Derpetologist   12 years ago

            SKWERL!

          2. Rich   12 years ago

            Keep trying. You’re almost there.

    2. Troy muy grande boner   12 years ago

      It look like to me that the tattoo on her left arm spell DOG which, in her case, is entirely appropriate.

    3. CE   12 years ago

      I never thought Amanda and I would have something in common!

      1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

        Statistically, every breath you take contains at least one molecule from the air emitted from her first scream when slapped by the obstetrician at birth.

  11. gaijin   12 years ago

    IKEA is planning to start selling residential solar panels in the U.K.

    So they are sticking them where the sun don;t shine? Excellent strategy.

    1. db   12 years ago

      Nice. The combination of high latitude and cloudiness will certainly have no.effect on the performance of said solar panels.

      My prediction: they will become mere status symbols with no utility.

      Pun definitely intended.

      1. Sevo   12 years ago

        “My prediction: they will become mere status symbols with no utility.”

        Well, they’ll generate smug-storms from time to time.

        1. seguin   12 years ago

          +1 George Clooney Speech

      2. Tonio   12 years ago

        My prediction: they will become mere status symbols with no utility.

        ^This.

        Also, tribal identifiers.

        Also, also: +1 Utility pun.

      3. RannedPall   12 years ago

        Maybe those limeys will get just enough sunlight to grow citrus in house and finally eradicate scurvy from that cloudy and queen worshipping island.

    2. CE   12 years ago

      Several customers recommended that location to them, but in regards to other products.

  12. rts   12 years ago

    KulaksGoogle attempts to keep its own money

    Google (NSQ:GOOG), which has been grilled twice in the past year by a UK parliamentary committee over its tax practices, had a UK tax bill of 35 million pounds in 2012, on sales of $5.5 billion to British customers, its accounts showed.

  13. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Obama is not resigned to a government shutdown.

    It may have dawned on him that the government shutdown is too far removed from the midterms. By next November voters are barely going to remember a shutdown even occured.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

      likely because of the non-impact it will have

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        We’ll see if you still think that on Shutdown: Day Three, when you’re clutching your growling stomach and gasping for air.

        1. RannedPall   12 years ago

          How can I get to whole foods with no ROADZ????11?1!

    2. CE   12 years ago

      I saw “Obama” and “resigned” in the same sentence and briefly felt a pang of great joy and relief, but then I re-read it.

  14. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

    This is officially Harry Reid’s shutdown. Obama wanted to meet and Reid talked him out of it.

    1. Mike M.   12 years ago

      This could be a very useful article, if the repubs have any brains (always highly doubtful). “Obama wanted to talk to us, but Reid is the obstructionist here.”

      Somehow I don’t think Harry Reid enjoys anywhere near the level of popularity and respect that Obama still does.

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        I mean, the Democrats openly admit they aren’t negotiating and the GOP still gets blamed:

        “He’s been the rock ? and he’s had our whole caucus behind him,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), a close Reid ally who spoke with the majority leader nine times on Saturday afternoon. “Because if we negotiate on a short-term [government funding bill], what are [Republicans] going to do on a long-term bill? What are they going to do on the debt ceiling?”

        1. robc   12 years ago

          I was about to post that.

          Yeah, “we arent negotiating” is always a smart thing to say. If a company said the same things wrt a union negotiation, they would be sued for lack of good faith.

          1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

            I would think that given “The[Democrat controlled]Senate has rejected the [Republican controlled] House’s …temporary spending bill that would have kept the government operating” if anyone should be accused of “trying to force a government shutdown” it would be the Dems.

        2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago
          1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

            SQUIRRELZ!

            This could be a very useful article, if the repubs have any brains (always highly doubtful). “Obama wanted to talk to us, but Reid is the obstructionist here.”

            Yep–“The President, to his credit, wanted to sit down with us. And his own party forced him to call it off rather than keep the government running because they’d rather shut down the government in their own insecurity over looking weak. Perhaps Mr. Reid can explain why he should hold more sway over these matters than the supposed leader of his party.”

            Hell, that tack even gives Obama an out to reassert his “uniter” bonafides and increase his popularity by keeping things running. People hate the Dem congressmen a lot more than they do Obama and he could come out smelling like a rose just by telling his guys to stand down.

      2. creech   12 years ago

        Yeah, thanks Sharon Angle.

    2. Brandon   12 years ago

      No, this is ‘officially’ Boehner-Cruz-Paul-Hitler’s shutdown, and the MSM will be damned if they report it any other way. It may be realistically Reid’s, but that doesn’t really matter.

  15. Winston   12 years ago

    http://www.usnews.com/opinion/…..t-shutdown

    But there’s something else going on that demands our attention: We are witnessing a political shift. The tea party seems to be taking over the GOP. Its small numbers belie its increasingly outsized clout. Despite having only 49 caucus members in the House, the tea party has so threatened House Speaker John Boehner that he not only puts forward bills he knows full well are only gimmicks, but also now seems willing to risk a government shutdown and default crisis while doing so.

    1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      Carrie Wofford is a Democratic strategist who served as a senior counsel in the Senate and a policy aide in the Clinton White House and in the Labor Department under Robert Reich.

      So, in other words, not someone to take seriously.

      1. Winston   12 years ago

        But I thought that GOP was filled with anarchists? Harry Reid said so.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      I’ve been thinking about what John said this morning about the moderate Republicans having no choice but to stay on the tractor in this game of chicken if they don’t want a 3rd party. The Dems are fools, because a realignment of that magnitude is going to hurt them, too.

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      The tea party seems to be taking over the GOP. Its small numbers belie its increasingly outsized clout.

      And the communist party seems to be taking over the Democrats. Nyah-nyah!

      1. C. Anacreon   12 years ago

        Yesterday I saw a prog friend who (amazingly enough) works for the federal government. He said his whole department is getting ready for being closed starting Tuesday.

        All he could say about it was, “fucking unreasonable tea party people, because of their selfish crap I have an unpaid vacation.”

        1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

          Poor parasite. Maybe he and his pals can get together in the park and take turns making each other fill out forms and wait in line.

  16. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    I know we like to have a lot of laughs here at Hit and Run, but let me take the time to talk about something that’s not cool to laugh at: calling Federal employees ‘non-essential’

    Don’t call the federal workers waiting to buy lunch from downtown Washington’s food trucks “nonessentials.” It’s like being branded with a scarlet letter N, or ending up the punchline of a late-night comedy bit that’s actually not that funny when there are bills to pay.
    […]
    In Washington, where jobs often define a person’s sense of self-worth, people eating lunch talked about their prospects and eyed one another, laughing nervously about which group they would find themselves in.

    “It’s like a stab in the back. Like being told in high school that you’re average and not in the honors classes,” said Steve Ressler, 32, who worked in Homeland Security for six years and now runs GovLoop, informally known as Facebook for Feds. “But it matters, because we need the most talented people to work for government on issues as important as food stamps or Syria. We don’t want the best being driven away by all this beating up on federal workers.”

    1. RBS   12 years ago

      scarlet letter N

      Racist!!!

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        They’re doubly triply black-listed!

    2. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

      In Washington, where jobs often define a person’s sense of self-worth

      I wasn’t aware that was only a DC thing.

      1. RBS   12 years ago

        It’s way more pronounced in DC, especially with hill staffers.

      2. robc   12 years ago

        Outside of DC, pubsec employees are immediately on the bottom of the stack.

    3. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      Here’s one from that WaPo article on why he’s essential:

      Drug Enforcement Administration intelligence analyst:

      “Because this is my job. They hired me to a do a job and they should honor that contract. You shouldn’t deem one person in a group of 5 non-essential bc that person is “the newest to the unit”, you are now punishing people for mobility and diversity.”

      Who else is essential?
      “I don’t think any of us are more essential than the next.”

      Jesus.

      1. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

        They’re at the DEA. They’re all “non-essential”. Actually, they should be labeled as “Actively Harmful”.

      2. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

        “I don’t think any of us are more essential than the next.”

        I agree.

      3. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

        DEA is not just non-essential; it’s worse than useless.

      4. Not an Economist   12 years ago

        Hey I like being non-essential. If I’m non-essential, when twenty feet of snow drops on the ground from a blizzard, I don’t have to go to work.

    4. CE   12 years ago

      If you’re not sure if you’re non-essential, you are.

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        I wonder if the calligraphers at the White House will get furloughed?

        1. Sevo   12 years ago

          Nothing left to cut!

    5. PD Scott   12 years ago

      “we need the most talented people to work for government on issues as important as food stamps or Syria. We don’t want the best being driven away by all this beating up on federal workers.”

      Not to cast aspersions on the many fine Feds who post here, but *are* the most talented people working for government?

      To me it sounds like this fellow really believes that the nation would fall apart – and quickly – without the folks inside the beltway.

      1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

        I guess I’m not clear on the real world differences between the “most talented” people working on food stamps versus lesser talented people doing so.

        If you want to give people money for food, cut them a fucking check and move on.

        1. Rich   12 years ago

          “America’s Government’s Got Talent!”

    6. Mike M.   12 years ago

      “In preparation for a pay cut, a 30-year-old Treasury employee on Wednesday skipped the $10 Bahn Mi sandwiches outside Metro Center to unwrap a grim serving of “several weeks old chicken,” brought from the back of his fridge.”

      Oh my God, the horror, the sheer unadulterated horror of having to go a day without his $10 Bahn Mi sandwich! Those republicans are such evil monsters.

      1. RBS   12 years ago

        That 30 year old needs to learn how to function as an adult.

        1. Cdr Lytton   12 years ago

          He can start by cleaning out his fridge. Several weeks old chicken, unless it was sealed luncheon meat, is disgusting.

      2. Brett L   12 years ago

        Jesus, I know DC is a food desert, but they still sell bread, vegetables, meat, and spices at some store, some where on the public transit lines, right? I can find literally 100 recipies for Bahn Mi in 30 seconds. Or really slum it, the grocery store by my work had the good prepackaged noodles at 10 for $10. Who doesn’t have access to water and a microwave at work?

      3. Root Boy   12 years ago

        Yep, fuck ’em. Including my brother (Navy Dr) and my mom (retired). Hope they suffer like the rest of the country has suffered over the past 5 years.

        I’ve been laid off twice since then. Let it burn.

    7. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      If federal workers actually felt like pariahs and fled the way this author cries about, I’d be happier than fuck.

    8. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

      “Like being told in high school that you’re average and not in the honors classes”

      No doubt speaking from experience.

  17. Protagoronus   12 years ago

    Salon thinks Jeopardy! is sexist… because there are more men in the answers

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

      I think it’s sexist because it’s always easier when there are female contestants.

    2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

      So who’s minding the “Jeopardy!” desk anyway? As it turns out, mostly men. Michele Loud (editorial supervisor) and Debbie Griffin (related to the creator, Merv?) are the only two women on the show’s current slate of nine writers. Suzanne Stone (research supervisor) is the lone woman among five men listed on the research team, according to the show’s website.

      Now, one could argue that there are simply more famous men than women. Maybe I should accept that for centuries women were in the kitchen, whereas men were free to create stuff, explore places, and build things. You don’t hear much about Mrs. Columbus or Mrs. Debussy, come to think of it. So maybe it’s unfair to expect that women should be represented equally on quiz shows.

      So the solution to this problem is have more token women categories? Wouldn’t she also complain about that?

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

        I’ll take Bitches in Bikinis for $200 please

        1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

          I’l take vaginas for a thousand, Alex.

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        There was actually a book that came out about 20 years ago claiming the producers were deliberately writing more categories to appeal to women. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the name of the book and can’t find it with a Google search.

        1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

          There’s a bit of a conflict between “categories appealing to women” and “let’s have fewer men.” Unless you’re a feminist, NTTAWWT.

      3. C. Anacreon   12 years ago

        Just add one column for each full jeopardy on “celebrity gossip” each time. Every American woman knows every breath of celebrity gossip, and no straight man in the USA knows more than 5% of it — and only know that much from what they heard from some woman they know.

      4. lap83   12 years ago

        “Maybe I should accept that for centuries women were in the kitchen, whereas men were free to create stuff, explore places, and build things.”

        translation: “Women are just as intelligent and capable as men! If we could just figure out how to get out of that kitchen….is this the right door? What about this one? D’oh! Those stupid men and their evil kitchen-trapping schemes!”

        Meanwhile, actual intelligent women throughout history have long realized that no one is stopping them from interesting and creative pursuits but themselves.

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      And don’t forget Sean Connery taking THE RAPISTS.

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        Suck it, Trebek!

  18. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    …while also delaying or repealing parts of Obamacare.

    ACA is too complex, too intricate that delaying even a single part would be completely disruptive and damage the aims of the legislation.

  19. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

    A War On Expertise?

    I know where [Popular Science is] coming from, but I’m not so sure about that “again”. My belief is that there hasn’t been a time when evolution was not controversial with many people, nor climate change/global warming. The internet, it’s true, gives everyone with a point of view a chance to ventilate, so it brings this sort of thing to the surface much more easily than in the past. (Look back a few decades, and ask yourself what was available to someone with a strong opinion. Letters to the editor? Soapbox in the park? Handling out flyers on the corner?)

    And I don’t think that there’s been any big, coherent, “decades-long war on expertise”. If there is, then there always has been. It makes a person feel better to believe these things, but that’s the sort of self-congratulatory thinking that I believe one has to avoid. “I’m too smart for the crowd, the mob – a member of a persecuted minority just because I see the truth. . .” That doesn’t do anything to help your own reasoning.

    No, most people don’t understand scientific topics, but most people never have.

    1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      The only thing PopSci was really talking about was the daily drubbing it took from its Commentariat on AGW. The rest is smoke, mirrors and bullshit.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        PopSci has confused credentials and expertise.

    2. gaijin   12 years ago

      No, most people don’t understand scientific topics, but most people never have.

      Including a great many scientists who presume to speak authoritatively on topics outside their primary field of study.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Yep.

      2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        Including a great many scientists academics who presume to speak authoritatively on topics outside their primary field of study.

        When Professors of Victorian Literature with an emphasis in scatlogical references admit that perhaps they don’t know as much as they think they do we’ll all be better off.

    3. creech   12 years ago

      But a hundred years of public schools was supposed to change this, no?

      1. CE   12 years ago

        20 years of the Internet has done much better.

    4. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      I officially declare war on those who make up BS “wars” on social issues. I am now at war with the “war on women”, the “war on expertise”, and the “war on drugs.”

      1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

        War on Wars!

        1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

          War on War

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN2bsJGmtBc

  20. rts   12 years ago

    $1.3B medical marijuana free market coming to Canada

    Health Canada is phasing out an older system on Monday that mostly relied on small-scale, homegrown medical marijuana of varying quality, often diverted illegally to the black market.

    In its place, large indoor marijuana farms certified by the RCMP and health inspectors will produce, package and distribute a range of standardized weed, all of it sold for whatever price the market will bear. The first sales are expected in the next few weeks, delivered directly by secure courier.

    That term “free market”, you keep using that word, but I don’t think you know what it means.

    1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      They also don’t realize that “standardized weed” means a bunch of shit that will be lower in quality and higher in price.

      1. C. Anacreon   12 years ago

        Pack of Mary Jane filter kings, please.

  21. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    Dear Prudence: Help! My finance wants to postpone our wedding until after his sister gets a boob job

    I recently got engaged to my wonderful fianc?. Immediately after announcing the engagement to our families, my future SIL sat me down for a serious chat. She says she is currently saving up for breast implants and doesn’t want us to marry until she gets them done. She told me she wants to have one family wedding album where she looks perfect and will be heartbroken if I got married against her wishes. The trouble is, my fianc? says we should hold off the wedding for this reason, too. He knows his sister will cause so much trouble and doesn’t want to deal with the family drama. He thinks since we live together there is no hurry for marriage, anyway. I know how much he detests conflict and it’s true we are pretty much living as a married couple, but I feel like this is so wrong to postpone the wedding. He says the other option is to pay for his sister’s breast implant ourselves! Am I crazy for marrying into this family?

    I’d have to look at before and after pictures before determining if it is a valid request.

    1. Restoras   12 years ago

      You have to be crazy to marry into just about every family.

      1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        You have to be crazy to marry into just about every family.

        This.

        One of the big perks of having chosen the wife that I chose is that no one in her family but her brother and a cousin speaks English. Never having to sit and listen to your in laws yammering on about some bullshit is fucking awesome.

      2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        Well, it seems it’s not the guy who’s crazy, but his sister:

        “He knows his sister will cause so much trouble and doesn’t want to deal with the family drama.”

        For the guy, it’s a no-brainer: Have an early wedding and a meltdown by his dear sister, or postpone the wedding and still get sex with his fiance in the interim (since they’re still “living together”).

        Gosh…alienate the nutjob sister or appease her while the gf continues to put out? Such a dilemma…

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          Ummm, if he pisses off his girlfriend she isn’t going to be having sex with him. Not only that, but he’ll have to hear her bitch about it a lot more than if he pisses his sister off.

          1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

            descriptive, not prescriptive. The squeakiest wheel gets the grease…see below for more excellent insights by EvH, the Love Doctor.

        2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

          But this is descriptive, not prescriptive. Change the incentive structure, and my comments below apply.

        3. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

          Yeah, EvH, using sex as a manipulative tool is extremely healthy

          1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

            It’s you again! Oh, how I missed you!

            Even rock musicians get the point which you seem to miss:

            That’s when she told me a story ’bout free milk and a cow
            And she said no huggin’, no kissin’ until I get a wedding vow

            My honey, my baby don’t put my love upon no shelf
            She said don’t hand me no lies and keep your hands to yourself

            -The Georgia Satellites

            1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

              That seems like a descriptive observation rather than a prescriptive thought.

              Like I just said, you openly advocated she manipulate him into a marriage. I think your virginal status leads you to be envious that other people are getting it on.

              Are you crimethink?

              1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

                It’s been a while since I was a virgin, but thank you for evoking these memories.

                *smooches*

    2. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      I know how much he detests conflict and it’s true we are pretty much living as a married couple, but I feel like this is so wrong to postpone the wedding.

      Wha huh?

    3. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      Get out! Get out while you still can!

    4. tarran   12 years ago

      Am I crazy for marrying into this family?

      Abso-fucking-lutely.

      Tell him to set the date or that you two are done.

      Because it’s not going to get better. If he doesn’t pass that test, he’s useless, and she’s going to want to maximize the time she has to find a replacement before her fertility decreases.

      1. tarran   12 years ago

        Oh, and tell sis if she kicks up a fuss she will be not invited and bouncers will have specific instructions not to let her in.

        If she argues, she’s off the bridal party.

      2. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

        Setting a date doesn’t make the family any less crazy.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          Yeah, but she should be confident that her husband will have the ballz to stick up to his crazy family when it involves her. If he won’t stand up now, she’ll be forced to concede all sorts of crazy shit to his sister in the future.

          1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

            I would support such a stance, but it would mean to stop “living together.” See how the guy deals with a sexual Sahara…it changes the incentive structure from what I said above.

            Don’t be a Boehner…offer something in exchange for an early marriage…don’t just give everything at once or you compromise your negotiating position.

    5. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      If either of my sisters had such a request I would have told them to go fuck themselves.

    6. RBS   12 years ago

      Does it say how long the sister asked to postpone it?

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        At first blush, it seemed to me that this was a crazy, self-centered request, but when the bride was unable to articulate an actual reason why this was a bad idea, I kind of didn’t really sympathize with her anymore.

        I mean, she states, baldly, that she doesn’t really care when they get married. So if you don’t care, you don’t care, right? I mean, I didn’t even see where they had set a date.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          Sometimes you just have to say no to people not for any logical reason, but because of the bad precedent it sets.

          1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

            It depends on the order of things. If it’s “we are choosing between May 10th and July 15th”, and the sister goes “I’m gonna be tight on money until July 10th, so can you postpone it until then? I’m getting a boob job”, then it seems kinda shitty to throw a fit about that.

            OTOH, If they set a date and the sister is being an attention whore, then run, run far away!

            1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

              I agree. She says that the sister doesn’t have the money for the operation yet. This could be an open-ended thing that just causes a bunch of problems. As in the sister is always just about to have the money but needs a bit more time.

              I’ve found in life that if you have someone you feel is going to try and tax your patience with requests or neediness the best policy is to put your foot down early. It’s a lot harder later if you wait and give in at the beginning.

    7. db   12 years ago

      Does the sister think she might have a chance at wrecking the marriage if she gets a boob job and her brother sees what he missed out on? WTF? This is crazy enough to run for the hills.

    8. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      Must. Have. Government. Stamp. Of. Validity.

      1. Tonio   12 years ago

        Now, Fisty, they didn’t say anything about what sort of wedding it was (admittedly, I just read the quote ASM posted). They could be talking about a purely religious or tribal ceremony and not bothering with a state license.

        That snark cuts both ways, dude.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

          The only thing worse than craving the marriage license is craving a ceremony. WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME WASTE MY WHOLE SATURDAY AND BUY YOU A PRESENT FOR THAT PRIVILEGE AND A CASH BAR?

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            I don’t give presents to people who have cash bars at a wedding.

            1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

              I paid less than what a cash bar would’ve cost to buy a bunch of booze from Sam’s for my wedding. We still have a case of beer and 10 bottles of wine left, and the wedding was in May! (and, yes, people actually showed up to our wedding)

              1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

                I bet you made sure to get that marriage certificate, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU? Traitor! Statist! Straitist.

                Oh, and congratulations.

    9. Tonio   12 years ago

      Well, it seems the groom-to-be has spent his life up to now being controlled by his sister, and perhaps other female family members. This is really a power struggle between the sister and the fiancee.

    10. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

      Dear Prudence,

      I’m getting married and my fiance wants to change the date so his sister can get a medical procedure (ahem, boob job) done prior to the wedding. THIS DAY IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL ABOUT ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! How dare that scheming bitch try to show up with a bigger rack than me, the bride! How do I politely tell her to stuff it without coming off like the spoiled drama queen I really am?

      Sincerely,
      crazy, self-centered, pain in the ass

      1. Tonio   12 years ago

        Uh, actually, yeah, it is the one day* in their adult lives when it gets to be about her, her, her. For many women, anyway. I see the sister as the jealous narcissist.

        (*)Well, maybe also Mothers’ Day.

        1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

          I’m not buying it. She says in the letter that it doesn’t matter when they get married. What she means is, it doesn’t matter so long as it’s before his sister gets her boob job. She’s just as much a drama queen as her future sister-in-law, and her number one concern is being the center of attention. It’s pathetic.

        2. Restoras   12 years ago

          In my experience, every day of the year is about the woman. Up to an including Father’s Day, and religious holidays that fall outside of her religion.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            March 14?

            1. Pi Guy   12 years ago

              That’s my day

          2. C. Anacreon   12 years ago

            In my experience, every day of the year is about the woman…including Father’s Day…

            I don’t know what you are talking about. Last Fathers Day, my wife went to a lot of trouble making her favorite meal for me that day.

            1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

              Same here. For our anniversary my wife got us tickets to an event she’d always wanted to attend.

      2. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

        Nah, I would think if the sister had a more reasonable request–like she was due to deliver a baby around that day or had to be out of state on business–then refusing to accommodate would be a dick move.

        But elective surgery is just a ridiculous reason.

        1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

          Seriously. “Hey sis, wear some falsies to the wedding.”

          1. Tejicano   12 years ago

            Yeah, tell her the wedding will be no later than – pick a reasonable day – hand her a fresh box of tissues and tell her to stuff it or start crying and get it over.

    11. Rich   12 years ago

      She says she is currently saving up for breast implants and doesn’t want us to marry until she gets them done.

      The kicker: The implants are for *the bride*.

    12. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      This situation is easy to evaluate: the fiance is used to being a submissive pushover in his relationship with his sister, so he’s in effect marrying the closest thing to his sister in personality. He will always be swayed by whatever female is in his life, and will be uncomfortable when he has to make a decision for himself.

      Should have learned/been taught assertiveness.

    13. CE   12 years ago

      Catch a plane to Vegas and call everyone the next day.

  22. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

    Anonymous Cop Claims Anonymity Is Bad, Proposes National Email Registry For Internet Users

    The victims of these trolls are upset the rest of the day. They are driving aggressively on the roads, yelling at their co-workers and being consumed with a way to find out who that person on the Internet was.

    This is not good for public safety.

  23. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

    When the teathuglicans shut down the government, all products will instantly disappear from store shelves.

    Infants will go without milk, children without cereal and bureaucrats without without whiskey.

    1. Dr. Frankenstien   12 years ago

      I thought that only happened when socialists ran the government.

  24. Winston   12 years ago

    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09…..d=all&_r=0


    On the next fiscal deadline looming in Washington, for raising the federal debt ceiling, over half of Americans believe that doing so should be tied to government spending reductions. But nearly 7 in 10 say they would prefer an agreement they do not fully support rather than for the country to default on its debt. And nearly two-thirds of Americans say that they or members of their immediate family would be affected by government services or programs losing funding because of a failure to raise the ceiling.

    What? And what about those polls showing 70% oppose raising the debt ceiling?

    1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      But nearly 7 in 10 say they would prefer an agreement they do not fully support rather than for the country to default on its debt.

      Default only happens when the government doesn’t pay due principle and interest on its debt. It doesn’t happen if the debt ceiling isn’t raised.

  25. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    Replicators in space: NASA to send 3D printers up with astronauts

    NASA is preparing to launch a 3D printer into space next year, a toaster-sized game changer that greatly reduces the need for astronauts to load up with every tool, spare part or supply they might ever need.

    The printers would serve as a flying factory of infinite designs, creating objects by extruding layer upon layer of plastic from long strands coiled around large spools. Doctors use them to make replacement joints and artists use them to build exquisite jewelry.

    In NASA labs, engineers are 3D printing small satellites that could shoot out of the Space Station and transmit data to earth, as well as replacement parts and rocket pieces that can survive extreme temperatures.

    “Any time we realize we can 3D print something in space, it’s like Christmas,” said inventor Andrew Filo, who is consulting with NASA on the project. “You can get rid of concepts like rationing, scarce or irreplaceable.”

    And one day soon, Earl Grey tea.

    1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

      We’ll never get rid of “rationing” as long as someone (namely government) can derive power from the practice.

    2. PD Scott   12 years ago

      I think we all know it’s so the International Space Station will be the American Space Station, thanks to 3D printed guns.

    3. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      Replicators have to go one of two ways. Either they’re going to gain tons of utility and become the Star Trek version of replicators, or they’re going to become sentient and become the Stargate version of replicators. I kinda hope for both.

      1. robc   12 years ago

        What about the Von Neumann version? Basically Forge of God.

    4. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      “Any time we realize we can 3D print something in space, it’s like Christmas,” said inventor Andrew Filo, who is consulting with NASA on the project. “You can get rid of concepts like rationing, scarce or irreplaceable.”

      And what about the raw materials they plan to use for the items they want to print? I know we’ve not yet reached Peak Unicorn Fart, but the day is coming.

  26. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

    Opinion: Why the [MIT] career fair is a disappointment

    I’ve been told by upperclassmen that career fair is an opportunity. Classes are cancelled. There are hundreds of companies. They’re waiting for me to come up and talk to them, waiting for me to drop my r?sum?, waiting for me to apply for an internship. And I need to impress them.

    Really, MIT? We need to impress them?

    The career fair serves as an effort to funnel some of the world’s brightest minds into lives of comfort and apathy. When did solving the world’s problems mean drilling for more oil than we can afford to burn, coding the next “original” iPhone application, designing more products for consumers to purchase, or consulting these companies so that they can make even more money than they already do?

    MIT, I thank you for the exceptional and objective education I’ve received over the past two semesters. But now I need more. I need guidance; I need empowerment and reassurance that despite the current sentiment that finding a “good” job is the most important return from an education, I can still make a difference. I need to know that we are better than Exxon, than TripAdvisor, than P&G, than Quizlet, than BP, than Facebook, than Yelp, and collectively that we have more of a potential to shape the world. I need to know that we are better than career fair.

    1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

      Greenpeace might have a booth there there too, asshole.

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Yup, there’s usually a ton of non-profits at college career fairs.

        And because the pay is shit there’s no line like the Exxon booth.

        1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

          Wonder how low his GPA is.

        2. db   12 years ago

          I accidentally ended up talking to tge US Patwnt and Trademark Office guys at an engineering job fair. I was polite but extricated myself quickly, thinking, “so I can make a career out of scrutinizing others’ inventions and telling them they are non-unique, or granting monopoly production power to someone who worded their application just right? No thanks.”

          This was before crazy things like patenting software algorithms or business models got to.be well known.

          1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            That’s one of those gov jobs that you can turn into good private money later. I don’t know if that’s ethical or not, but it’s something to consider.

            1. db   12 years ago

              A hint for all those gov employees considering a position in the very fields they regulate as gov employees: if you have to think for.more than 5 seconds about “is this ethical?” It probably isn’t. But that’s probably never stopped you before, eh?

    2. Sevo   12 years ago

      Twit’s got a lock on self-righteousness, don’t he?

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Well he’s taken 2 semesters of college, he’s earned it. This is wisdom you’re hearing, Sevo. Wisdom.

        1. C. Anacreon   12 years ago

          I just did the termination paperwork on a doc who briefly did moonlighting in our ER. He was a Harvard alum who (like 99% of Harvard alumni) basically talked about being from Harvard every chance he could get. His work style: arrogant, entitled, slow, and constantly asking basic questions over and over. He soon realized that our very busy site was way above his capabilities and resigned, of course framing it as “lucrative projects have come my way which will make it impossible for me to continue.”

      2. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

        she

        1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

          Figures.

    3. tarran   12 years ago

      OMG

      She’s a CAGW cultist. Poor thing, she’ll fuck up her career at the starting blocks by jumping on that sinking ship.

      And when the movement collapses over the next five years, she’ll be one of the least employable scientists looking for a new boat to jump on.

      My prediction is that she ends up a bitter high-school biology teacher who jumped at a chance of tenure after five years of substituting.

    4. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      I need to know that we are better than Exxon, than TripAdvisor, than P&G, than Quizlet, than BP, than Facebook, than Yelp, and collectively that we have more of a potential to shape the world.

      All of those things are literally more useful than you ever will be.

    5. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      Maybe, because as a college freshman, you’re worthless to anybody who’s doing anything important. Doesn’t matter if you’re from MIT or the local community college, your skills are currently worthless.

    6. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

      I need to know that we are better than Exxon, …than BP…

      ?! FUCK YOU, MIT GUY!

    7. Tejicano   12 years ago

      ” I need to know that we are better than Exxon, ”

      I love that royal “we”.

      I’d love to be a fly on the wall during her first interviews when she completely pisses off the non-MIT people asking her questions. She sounds like she is expecting them to throw money and praise at her until she tells them when she can start work.

    8. CE   12 years ago

      In case this MIT genius slept through Econ 101, there’s a reason these companies want to pay (most) MIT grads money, and a reason they have money to spend.

  27. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

    When teathuglicans shutdown the government planes will fall from the sky, like drool from Hairy Reed’s mouth. ATMs will run out of money and NSAs servers will be wiped clean.

  28. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    America’s Next Top Model winner Whitney Thompson shows off body in plus-size lingerie shoot

    Not bad, well-proportioned.

    1. Troy muy grande boner   12 years ago

      You can have her…assuming you have a 3/4 tone pickup to haul her around in.

    2. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

      sure thing, “John”

    3. Zeb   12 years ago

      Her makeup is absolutely awful. Otherwise, I rage, not bad.

  29. db   12 years ago

    You guys won’t be laughing tomorrow when there’s no Internet left to post your ignorant anarchist rantings. Get it in before midnight before Al Gore is forced to pull the plug on his greatest invention.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      I have it on good authority that the Federal Government’s army of bureaucrats is the only thing holding the Reason server squirrels at bay. Not so gung-ho about a shutdown now, are we?

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        You had me going until I realized you were saying Federal employees are useful.

  30. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Saudi cleric says driving risks damaging women’s ovaries

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      Go to the Middle East, and you can find a society that actually looks like the Handmaid’s Tale.

    2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      Maybe if she’s driving stick…

      Wink, wink. Nudge, Nudge. Know what I mean?

      1. shortviking   12 years ago

        I don’t follow. Are there any internet videos of what you’re eluding to?

        1. Bobarian   12 years ago

          There are, but just doing a google search for them gets you put on an NSA watchlist.

  31. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

    high-brow inkings

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      What I really hate are people who like to talk about their tattoos.

      “Oh, I got this music note because I LOVE playing the violin.”

      Wow, I don’t fucking care.

      1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

        The great thing about tattoos is you can find the self-centered people without having to talk to them.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

          That’s true, they do serve a purpose in that regard.

        2. sloopyinca   12 years ago

          I’ve got some tattoos and I ….

          oh, I see what you did there.

        3. Sevo   12 years ago

          They can be amusing when you realize that Chinese character tat on the gal is “Beef Broccoli”, not some ‘spiritual sign’.

          1. Tejicano   12 years ago

            I actually read Japanese and a bit of Chinese (characters are mostly the same but different grammar).

            Some of the tattoos I’ve seen on people in the US are a scream. One guy had a series of characters which were simply random, unrelated noise. Sometimes they are even mirror image.

            I get it that to a lot of Americans (well, people from a lot of countries who simply never travel) the world outside their home country is like a TV show : they know the story line and a lot of the names – but it isn’t real.

      2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Yeah. That shit is worse than hearing about someone’s dream. Fuck is that shit boring.

    2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

      At least Vicki Beckham went with a quote from Song of Solomon, and on the back of her neck. Nothing like high quality literary smut in a place it will have some utility.

  32. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

    The day after teathuglicans shut down the government killer bacteria colonies will quickly consume every meat packing house in the country, the waters will be poisoned with pollution and the air will become an unbreathable thick goo.

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

      so, Newark

    2. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

      The rabbis will still show up.

      1. DJF   12 years ago

        So we are safe from someone mixing bacon in with the beef?

        1. robc   12 years ago

          Or mixing meat with dairy.

  33. Brett L   12 years ago

    Aww. Kitteh not dropping pizza she stole fair and square.

    Also, let go of her neck, idiot.

    1. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

      That’s a cat puppet.

    2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      Why can’t the cat have the pizza? Surely, the owner isn’t going to eat it after the cat’s been all over it.

      1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

        Sometimes you just have to say no to cats not for any logical reason, but because of the bad precedent it sets.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          DON’T SHOW WEAKNESS

        2. Juice   12 years ago

          That’s my pot pie!

    3. sgs   12 years ago

      “Also, let go of her neck, idiot.”

      WHy do you want him to stop carrying her in a perfectly normal manner, that is only an issue with ikmbeciles that don’t understand that it is in no way harmful?

      I’m confused, I normally only hear screeching about it from totally brain dead dumbfucks.

  34. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

    6 tuba pileup

    1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

      As a former Indiana state champion tuba player, I would like to correct this; those are actually Sousaphones, not tubas.

      1. Banjos   12 years ago

        Which makes me want to post this.

        1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

          Ahhh, The Onion. My daily break from wanting to strangle everybody. ;-P

  35. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    Thinking of boning a married man? 4 questions all mistresses should ask themselves

    1. What do you want in a relationship? Love is one thing: It can exist independently from external realities. What we don’t often hear in stories of romance is that those external realities are still very important for a happy, fulfilled life. Love that asks you to sacrifice a whole list of other things that are important to you may not be worth the cost.
    […]
    2. What is the affair status bringing you? There are lots of elements that are exciting in an affair. Love and lust can thrive in risky, dramatic situations. Maybe you feel special because he is breaking his vows for you; maybe you even feel powerful. Or maybe for you the affair is a way to keep things uncomplicated for your emotions ? to maintain distance and a life of your own. After all, there are benefits to not having to meet family or spend every weekend together.

    Ask yourself what feels good about this scenario and know what the role of the mistress offers you. Then ask yourself if there is a way you can get that for yourself in a relationship that might be more in line with your integrity.

    I would think more pertinent questions would be how good is he and does he have a lot of money?

    1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      The mistress role in the affair triangle is often either vilified as an unfeeling predator or overly sexualized as an irresistible temptress, but for the many women out there who have been the mistress, it is a complex, personal, and often difficult position.

      There are lots of elements that are exciting in an affair. Love and lust can thrive in risky, dramatic situations. Maybe you feel special because he is breaking his vows for you; maybe you even feel powerful.

      LOL @ contradiction

    2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      3. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable in the role of homewrecking slut.

      1. Tonio   12 years ago

        Someone has issues.

        1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

          Someone has tissues.

  36. Derpetologist   12 years ago

    Super sleuth Thom Hartmann uncovers dark history of Libertarianism- a sinister group founded by corporations in 1946:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaIb8tl62fc

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

      again???

      1. Derpetologist   12 years ago

        It’s PM links- I’m posting links.

  37. Archduke von Pantsfan   12 years ago

    10 grammar rules you can forget about

    1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      ISYWTDT

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      You mean, 10 grammar rules about which you can forget, right? Jesus, these guys can’t even write a clever headline.

    3. Emmerson Biggins   12 years ago

      I really hate it when fucking limeys can’t figure out that teams are singular.

  38. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    You guys know how I feel about cops and their separate (and unequal) justice system. Well, very rarely does a story encapsulate my rage as well as this one.

    FTA: As part of her opinion, Judge Kim Summers wrote, “Certainly, the use of force and the injuries sustained by Mr. Tatum were not ideal but neither were they dictated by the conduct of officers Emmer and Cooley. As such, it would not be an acceptable ending to this situation to ruin the lives and careers of two otherwise unblemished and promising police officers who came across the path of Mr. Tatum only because he chose to violate his parole by taking cocaine, engaging in violent behavior, and disregarding lawful directives from law enforcement. It was Mr. Tatum, not officers Emmer and Cooley, who set in motion this very regrettable chain of events as well as the unfortunate, but avoidable, conclusion.”

    Basically, this asshole judge is saying if a person sets off a cop, that cop is free to act until they are either too tired to continue or the “perp” is beaten to a bloody pulp.

    1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      Also FTA: “While the number of baton strikes may have been extraordinary, so was the level of Mr. Tatum’s resistance,” Summers wrote.

      Video of the incident showed Tatum on the ground passively resisting, law enforcement experts testified at the hearing.

      -and-

      But Hoss said the officers “were responding to a bad situation.”

      “This judge heard over 20 hours of testimony and had a trial and found these officers did nothing wrong, but acted pursuant to policy,” he said.

      Trial? There wasn’t any fucking trial. This was an administrative hearing to reinstate the officers. How the fuck any reporter can let an attorney call that a “trial” and not call them on their parsing language is beyond me.

      As for this judge, I hope she dies a painful death at the hands of one of these fucking goons because “she started it”.

    2. Jordan   12 years ago

      So, if I shoplift a piece of gum, the police are free to riddle me with bullets, according to this cunt’s logic.

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        Then I guess this fine, upstanding police officer should have gone to work in Tennessee instead of Texas. That way his manslaughter would have been justified because his victim “set in motion the unfortunate chain of events”.

    3. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

      “Your Honor, that woman set in motion this very regrettable chain of events when she wore that short skirt…”

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        I’m apoplectic. Even for me, this one is too much to read without getting enraged. I seriously hope for a fiery crash to engulf the two police officers and the judge that ruled their violence acceptable.

    4. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      Here is the bio on the administrative law judge that ruled in the “trial”.

      Summers, D. Kim
      Judge Summers received her B.S. degree in Finance and her Doctor of Jurisprudence from the University of Maryland. She was licensed to practice law in Tennessee in 2000.

      Judge Summers began her career as a Tennessee state employee in 1999 with the Tennessee Attorney General’s Office. Thereafter, she worked as Deputy Legal Counsel to Governor Sundquist, Legal Counsel at the Tennessee Regulatory Authority, and Deputy / Assistant General Counsel with the Department of Human Services. She was appointed as an Administrative Judge in December 2011.

      Judge Summers is married to Paul Summers, a partner with Waller Lansden Dortch & Davis.

      So a person that has spent their entire judicial life working for the state finds the two state employees innocent when they beat a man half to fucking death. Color me unsurprised.

      1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

        Does the D. stand for Derp?

      2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Dude, who the fuck was she blowing to go from bar to bench in 11 years?

        That seems really fast. Maybe it’s not, but I think a judge should have a bit more experience.

      3. Tonio   12 years ago

        Administrative law judges just decide stuff, ie social security benefits hearings. They do not issue warrants, try cases, sentence people, etc.

  39. Coeus   12 years ago

    When is a joke about violence against women ok?

    Well, when a feminist does it, of course.

    1. Thane can punch all your buns   12 years ago

      must read 300 books by radical feminists

      Are we talking about feminists who are radical or about Radical Feminists? Because I don’t know why any of the latter would want to marry a man.

    2. Matrix   12 years ago

      when it’s a leftists joking about violence of a conservative woman

    3. Brett L   12 years ago

      C’mon, man, everyone knows feminists don’t tell jokes.

      1. Matrix   12 years ago

        someone forgot to tell them that.

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Are you sure those are jokes? They aren’t very funny.

      2. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        Well, not good jokes, anyways.

  40. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

    When teathuglicans shut down government, prisoners will run riot and cowboy poets will be silenced.

    1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

      Stop getting my hopes up.

    2. creech   12 years ago

      Amtrak trains will be abandoned in the middle of the desert, parents will put their unbelted babies in the front seat, and hipsters will be forced to buy regular mayonnaise at the Shop Rite.

  41. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    Salon takes on Gawker’s ‘Privilege Tournament’

    The most hurtful thing about Gawker’s “Privilege Tournament” (which invites readers to vote on NCAA-type brackets for who is the least privileged “category” of people, black, Hispanic, gay, etc) is not its contempt for civil rights discourse, but that the prideful display of a white man’s humor is more important to a large liberal media outlet than compassion for people who suffer the dehumanizing effects of discrimination. Gawker, of course, presents the Tournament as an above-it-all humor piece, and this is exactly the problem: Gawker believes they are speaking from a place of objective remove, but they are, in fact, acting out emotionally. They are either willfully naive about the daily pain experienced by people whom society devalues or worse, resentful that white men are being wrongly denied equal sympathy. Either way there’s nothing objective in this perspective.

    Not only is white male humility in discussion of race/gender/sexuality absent here, but in its place is a vicious, sneering resentment at the suggested need to be humble. When a white man decides that a conversation about privilege has gotten out of hand, gone to absurd lengths, and needs some comedic cutting down, he is re-establishing white, male dominance, plain and simple. Who is asking who to laugh? Whose experience is being mocked?

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

      There’s no doubt that author Hamilton Nolan and Gawker will defend the piece as comedy, but let’s be more specific: this is satire, ironic social commentary that mocks an idea by taking it to an exaggerated level of seriousness. Satire itself is deadly serious and it comes from real social critique. So let me offer a modest proposal ? would Nolan or Gawker be willing to do this in person, I wonder? Would Nolan feel the gross absurdity of his game if standing face to face with people of color, women, LGBTQ people, or those living in poverty? Would he be ready to say to them, as he writes here, “Privilege has its benefits, but the lack of privilege confers that sweet, sweet moral superiority.”

      Wow, ‘satire is deadly serious.’ She’s super cereal, guys!

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        The beauty of the privilege brackets is that it has brought out the whole cadre of the usual suspects to bitch and scream about it.

      2. Coeus   12 years ago

        Would he be ready to say to them, as he writes here, “Privilege has its benefits, but the lack of privilege confers that sweet, sweet moral superiority.

        She thinks he’d be afraid to say that to her hysterical face?

      3. Tonio   12 years ago

        That even Gawker is tired of all the “help, help, I’m being oppressed” is significant.

    2. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

      I’m not clicking on a Salon link. Please link to the bracket.

      1. Tonio   12 years ago

        Gawker Privilege tourney hier.

        Hjira defined hier. I didn’t know what this was and I’m gay with Indian friends and in-laws.

    3. Jordan   12 years ago

      I’m still amazed Gawker hasn’t recovered from its brief moment of self-awareness and taken this poll down and apologized profusely. Kotaku still routinely concern-trolls its readers about OMG TEH SEXISM and OMG TEH RACISM.

      1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        Yeah, I saw the Gawker bracket and cracked up. I was amazed they posted some actual humor there.

  42. Suthenboy   12 years ago

    In order for the shutdown to ‘LOOM’ it would have to be a big deal. Since very few of us will be able to tell the difference after it shuts down, it is not a big deal. Therefore it does not ‘LOOM’.

  43. Derpetologist   12 years ago

    Derpgressives laugh about libertarian islands:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTFir66o52A

    1. Derpetologist   12 years ago

      NO BUILDING CODES MEAN BUILDINGS GONNA FALL DOWN DERP

      1. widget   12 years ago

        “In Any Rand’s real life they were having sex parties all the time.”

      2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Yes, it’s true. People really believe that stupid shit.

    2. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

      They’ll laugh right past the graveyard.

  44. PD Scott   12 years ago

    Martin Aircraft in New Zealand has your jetpack.

    http://www.gizmag.com/martin-jetpack-p12/29215/ since the href is squirrelly.

    FTA:Current performance numbers include a maximum airspeed of 74 km/h (46 mph) with normal cruise speed a more sedate 56 km/h (35 mph). A full tank of premium gas (with added oil) will keep the lucky pilot aloft for 30 minutes, during which time the Jetpack can travel about 30 km (20 mi). At its rated takeoff weight of 330 kg (725 lb), the ducted fans can supply an excess 50 kg of thrust, resulting in snappy changes in altitude.

    The Jetpack’s ceiling is 3000 ft (900 m), and it is recommended for operation above 500 ft (150 m) to give the safety systems (including a rocket-deployed ballistic parachute) plenty of time to function. The 95 dB noise level is significant (think loud vacuum cleaner) as you will experience in the video below, calling for hearing protection for the pilot in addition to helmet, neck restraint, boots, and fireproof suit.

  45. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    The End IS Nigh!

    When union cops go so far that Think Progress is quoting the CATO Institute in an expose, it’s time to grab an umbrella to dodge the raining frogs.

  46. Winston   12 years ago

    So what do commenters think of lefties getting all butthurt over Al Jolson and Eddie Cantor wearing blackface? I do find it amusing. I also find it hilarious to see lefties promoting Pre-Code films that contributed to the Rape Culture.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      What’s the reference here? I missed it.

      1. Winston   12 years ago

        People like it here when people get butthurt over racism and sexism?

        1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

          I guess I’m slow, which movies promoted Rape Culture? I’m thinking of The Jazz Singer and trying to remember the rapey parts. Maybe I should watch it again?

          I’m probably missing an obvious joke here, I admit.

          1. Juice   12 years ago

            You’re thinking of The Fountainhead.

  47. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    They need to raise the debt ceiling so we can get our alt-text back.

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

      “Nice government you got there. Would be a shame if something were to happen to it.”

  48. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

    From the WaPo “are you essential” poll of gov workers:

    Reclamation employee:

    “If every federal employee and contractor working with federal employees walked off the job, the American public would make the case of ‘essential personnel’ for us.”

    Oh man, these guys are living in a fucking fantasy world. Most Americans wouldn’t throw you a quarter as they passed your begging ass on the street on their way to real jobs.

  49. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

    The heartwarming story of a Utah dad who found love online with Ukrainian woman

    Nathan Adams, a 45-year-old aircraft mechanic who hates dating, makes an odd poster boy for international online dating.

    But that’s what he’s literally become since he turned to AnastasiaDate.com out of frustration with women in Utah.

    After a romance via letters and Skype, he and Elena Adamchiyk, a native of Ukraine, are planning to marry before her 90-day fianc?e visa runs out.

    Adams feels like he hit the jackpot.

    “Dating Elena is like dating a model ? who has the values of my grandmother,” he says. “If somebody had told me a year ago what my life would be like today, I wouldn’t believe them.”

    Adams and Adamchiyk are being held up as a success story by AnastasiaDate.com, which is spending millions on a public-relations blitz amid criticism about its business practices and its relatively high prices.

    Adamchiyk arrived in the northern Utah community of Syracuse earlier this month from Odessa, on the Black Sea, eager to become a mother to Adams’ 6-year-old, Vanessa, and wife of “my Nate,” as she calls Adams.

    “I want marriage. I don’t want Russian marriage,” says Adamchiyk, 34, who was married twice before in the former Soviet republic to men who cheated, a behavior she asserts is not uncommon there.

    Good job Nate.

    1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      Looking forward to the green card divorce.

  50. Banjos   12 years ago

    He he he he he he! Shut down, shut down, shut down, shut down!!! I’m so giddy right now.

    1. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

      Burn them all. Burn them all! Burn them in their homes, burn them in their beds! Burn them all!

  51. Winston   12 years ago

    You Know Who Else wanted something Shut Down?

    1. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

      The Grinch?

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      The dickless dude from the EPA?

    3. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      Public Enemy?

    4. PD Scott   12 years ago

      Mr. Book?

    5. The Rt. Hon. Serious Man, Visc   12 years ago

      The female body after being legitimately raped?

    6. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

      Kay Adams-Corleone

      1. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g9RI0GgRIQ

    7. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

      Technician Walls, down at Nakatomi Tower?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekgf15sZbWU

    8. Gray Ghost   12 years ago

      J.J. Watt?

  52. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    PoliceOne commentariat lament firing of officer that shot at a man for no justifiable reason whatsoever.

    Posted by esu5 on Monday, September 30, 2013 10:39 AM Pacific Report Abuse
    3 alpha hotels in this story, Acevedo, Barton and and whoever that drivers ed instructor was.
    Here would have been a re-training issue.
    Ive never encountered a wallet gun or a cell phone gun either but that dont mean they aint out there somewhere and it dont mean I shouldnt be prepared for them.
    jdwilson, right on both counts sir.

    Yes, you just hear story after story on the nightly news where a police officer was shot by a “POS” “civilian” using a wallet gun or a cellphone gun.

    Fuck these assholes. Every fucking one of them.

    1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      Reminds me of this.

      @3:50

    2. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

      Stop. Reading. PoliceOne.

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        Somebody’s got to keep tabs on the enemy.

  53. Banjos   12 years ago

    To celebrate the pending shutdown, please participate in this year’s baby naming auction. All proceeds go to a libertarian charity/cause of the winner’s choosing.

    1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      I planted the seed. Now it’s up to the commentariat to water it.

      Wait, that doesn’t sound right…

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Between you and years of Balko, I’m too nutpunched out to be watering any seed.

        1. db   12 years ago

          He’s like a fertility vampire…every time he punches oht nuts, his become more powerful.

    2. Lady Bertrum   12 years ago

      I love it. Little Reason Sophia is beautiful. I’m going to think on an appropriate middle name for Liberty for awhile.

  54. Mad Scientist   12 years ago

    If only congress had some means of funding the government without having to rely on borrowing money…

    1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      Oh, so people should be forced to pay cash for their houses and revolving credit should be outlawed?

      -progtard and/or neocon

      1. Dr. Frankenstien   12 years ago

        Usury is a sin.

        / Medieval theologian

  55. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

    DNC isn’t any better at managing it’s own budget than it is at managing the country’s:

    The DNC is nearly broke

    Obviously rich Democrats need to start donating their fair share.

    1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

      So all that stuff we heard about how the Dems are lightyears ahead of the GOP in terms of get-out-the-vote organization may have really been ‘they blew more money’?

      1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

        Well, there’s a distinction between the DNC as an organization and Democrat politicians. A lot of the organizational stuff was in the President’s campaign, and the article mentions that part of the problem is that spun off into a competing organization rather than rolling back into the DNC after the election.

        1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

          And the President rather famously doesn’t give anything back, in terms of clout, to the DNC.

  56. Derpetologist   12 years ago

    Robert Reich says government just isn’t getting enough money to run things:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt5XojZKwO0

    Pay no attention to graphs of increasing government spending behind the curtain!

  57. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

    Turkey parliament to debate Syria strikes motion. It would be nice for some other countries to do things without America. Mali, Syria-could be a trend.

    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2…..es-motion/

    1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      A nice unintended benefit of Obama’s incompetence is that other nations have felt the need to take on more responsibility for their own security (see also the moves in the Orient to form an informal coalition against China).

      1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

        Excellent point. It would be a death knell for Social Democracy which is pretty much dependent on subsidization by American military substitution for a home-funded military.

  58. Brandon   12 years ago

    Ok, shut it down. But if I get home tonight and my copy of Borderlands 2 shows up as just static on my Xbox, then I will be very upset with all you libertarian kulaks.

  59. Brett L   12 years ago

    Remember when unlicensed particle accelerators used to need whole backpacks?

    1. Brandon   12 years ago

      Next: 3D-printed particle accelerators.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Protip: Don’t cross the streams unless an angry god from another demension is trying to kill you.

  60. Coeus   12 years ago

    Krugman’s latest brain droppings:

    I don’t even know where to start on this one. There’s just too much.

    1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

      I made it 3 paragraphs. What a contemptible cuntsore.

  61. Brett L   12 years ago

    Nerdiest. Poster. EVAR.

    1. The Bearded Hobbit   12 years ago

      I laughed when I started my latest job and this was posted in the shop. I’m at home among the nerds and geeks.

      … Hobbit

    2. db   12 years ago

      I don’t see Discovery or Leonov.

      1. db   12 years ago

        OK now I see them but I understood from the book that Discovery was significantly longer than Leonov.

  62. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    NPR is now doing a thing about the tragedy of public-school parents forgetting to put enough money in their kids’ food accounts, or kids forgetting to bring lunch money, resulting in kids skipping lunches they can’t pay for. Some schools are borrowing money to pay kids’ lunches.

    “two bad options-piles of debt, or hungry kids.”

    The report notes regretfully that there are no regulations requiring public schools to give free lunches to kids who forget their lunch money.

    One might think there should be a saying on this very subject…somebody should come up with oen.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      with one.

    2. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

      I thought the saying was “There ought to be a law…”

    3. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      (American Public Radio – not sure if that’s linked with NPR. My station does both)

  63. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

    Looks like I’m extra-essential! Ha! I guess it’s just super-important that I continue going to grad school.

  64. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    Now on NPR: Evolutionary biologist says contraception increases breast-cancer risks. Used to be known as the “nun’s disease,” now hits childless women.

    I only cite this because NPR doesn’t always find a party line. Also because the guy stammered out several pro-contraceptive talking points before mentioning this particular “tradeoff.”

    Also, I’m not criticizing nuns.

  65. Coeus   12 years ago

    Well, now I know I like them:

    Experts liken the certainty over climate science to the science that says cigarettes kill. In fact, the Heartland Institute, a think tank at the center of the climate denier movement, has questioned both climate change and the dangers of second-hand smoke.

    1. db   12 years ago

      O. M. G.

      Everyone knows you don’t QUESTION the SCIENTIFIC ORTHODOXY. That is not reality-based. Only the Inquisition gets to “question.”

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      By a quick glance at meta-analyses, nobody under the age of 40 will die of 2nd hand smoke induced lung-cancer. Radon now kills ten times as many people as those attributed to 2nd hand smoke.

      1. Coeus   12 years ago

        nobody under the age of 40 will die of 2nd hand smoke induced lung-cancer.

        Fixed it for ya. Lung cancer from smoke is caused by radiation. Which isn’t present (or at least above backround)in second hand smoke.

  66. paranoid android   12 years ago

    Now on NPR: Evolutionary biologist says contraception increases breast-cancer risks. Used to be known as the “nun’s disease,” now hits childless women.

    And what does someone whose specialty might actually suggest expertise in breast cancer risks have to say?

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      Yes, NPR is all about doing scientifically-unverified scare stories about contraception. What with their being a right-wing fundie site and all.

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