The IRS Isn't Just Snoopy and Politicized, It's Also Well-Armed


Reason 24/7

Those of use who've been putting the screws to the IRS over the past few weeks, asking why the nation's tax collectors have, once again, been caught targeting political opponents of the current president, might have reason to wonder if the massive extortion agency isn't getting a wee bit … testy. Perhaps even ornery. At least, IRS agents have been seen blowing off steam at the firing range in an organized and official manner, putting a fair amount of the nation's increasingly hard-to-find ammunition down the spouts of AR-15 semi-automatic rifles (they're only "assault weapons" if used by private citizens, you know).

From Politico:

Rep. Jeff Duncan wants to know why IRS law enforcement agents are training with AR-15 rifles.

As chairman of the House Homeland Security oversight subcommittee, Duncan (R-S.C.) toured a federal law enforcement facility in late May and noticed agents training with the semi-automatic weapons at a firing range. They identified themselves as IRS, he said.

"When I left there, it's been bugging me for weeks now, why IRS agents are training with a semi-automatic rifle AR-15, which has stand-off capability," Duncan told POLITICO. "Are Americans that much of a target that you need that kind of capability?"

While Duncan acknowledges that the IRS has an enforcement division, he questions if that level of firepower is appropriate when they could coordinate operations with other agencies, like the FBI, especially in a time of austerity.

Duncan acknowledges that the IRS has an enforcement division, the better to extract hard-earned shekels from reluctant Americans, but semi-automatic rifles? It's not like they're carrying a sidearm and they knock on someone's door and say, 'You're evading your taxes,'" he says.

The tax-collection agency defends its arsenal, insisting its "Criminal Investigation Special Agents are equipped similarly to other federal, state and local law enforcement organizations." It's hard to argue with that. After all, even the National Park Service has a SWAT team (watch your ass, Yogi).

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  1. Rep. Jeff Duncan wants to know why IRS law enforcement agents are training with AR-15 rifles.

    Because fuck you, that’s why.

    Doesn’t he know that government employees are abot the rest of us?

  2. I’m going to assume this is the Links After Dark.

    OT: Global Internet Porn Habits.

    Not explicit, work un-friendly.

    A friend sent this to me and we couldn’t figure out a few of the terms.

    “raincoat” (Ukraine) or “coat” (Vietnam)? And Icelanders are particularly filthy, while Chileans and Peruvians are gayer than Epi when he’s visiting gaytown.

    1. Fascinating.

      There are hundreds of sociology papers that could be written on the fact that the number one search term in NC, SC, GA, AL, MS, LA, and AK is “ebony”. Whereas on the West Coast, for CA, WA, and HI it’s “asian”. The Northeast really likes its “college” girls and guys.

      1. In a similar vein was Ukrainians searching for Russians, Israeli searching for Arabs and the Chinese searching for Koreans and Japs. Iraq even had Arab and Kurdish (together!).

        1. See! Despite what Murkin will tell you, people want to see minorities fuck. It’s a Heroic Mulatto world, baby!

          1. I was surprised not to see Latina or any related terms show up in any US states. I guess I’m an outlier

          2. I think that people have an innate drive to mix their genes as much as possible.

            You are the future Heroic!

            No, seriously.

            1. I think people just mix up strong emotions like sex and hate pretty easily.

            2. Heh. I have nothing on my daughter who has my Scottish/African/Indian/Jewish mix and her mother’s Vietnamese (technically Nyaw)/Laotian by way of Thailand.

              Evolutionarily, it makes sense to avoid inbreeding. And hybrid vigor is a well-documented phenomenon. Of course, these drives are tempered on the other side by ethnic nepotism.

              I think most people are in the middle of the bell curve in that they don’t care who their having sex with, as long as they’re getting it. But you’ll always have people on both ends who either will only be attracted to people who resemble themselves and people who are extreme xenophiles who are attracted only to the “exotic”.

            3. I think that people have an innate drive to mix their genes as much as possible.

              That would explain my preference for pretty, petite women!

        2. Possibly because they are culturally forbidden relationships.

      2. How do you write hundreds of sociology papers that all point out Southern states have more Black people?

        What’s next, studies that show lesbians are disproportionately fat domestic abusers?

        1. I think that obviously plays a part, but I don’t see how it explains “ebony” being the #1 searched term in a state like Arkansas, where only 16% of the population is black. That’s not that much higher than the US average, and “ebony” isn’t even in the top 10 nationally

      3. Lots of blacks in those states.

    2. I’m officially disturbed by the number of states where MILF is ahead of teen. I should probably not be disturbed by that, but reassured. But really, MILF is such a gross term. Aesthetically I mean.

      1. Sadly, the only “normal” result is from Iran, where the number 1 search term was “pussy”. It’s just so innocent that I’m afraid of what will become of said Persian masturbaters when their autocratic regime falls and they are exposed to perversity from around the world.

      2. It isnt hard to figure out. MILFs do things that make college girls say “ewww!”.

        1. You would say that

        2. MILFs do things that make college girls say “ewww!”.

          When I was college age, my experience was that the college girls kept showing me things the MILFs didn’t know.

      3. By the way, I am tickled that the number one search term for my state, NH, is “compliation”. We just don’t have time for all that set up and foreshadowing…

        1. MT, where my mouse was hovering when it loaded, is the same way. I was like, wuh? before I realized what that meant.

          1. WA looks pretty accurate.

        2. Anyone notice the #1 for Kentucky?

          1. They love their gay porn, as long as they don’t have to pay for it

      4. That’s not nearly as disturbing as the top results for Finland

        1. I hadn’t gotten that far yet.

        2. The Armenians search for Kim Kardashian. Yes, I know she’s of Armenian descent, but that’s still disturbing.

          1. Not gonna lie, I searched for it when it first came out. But I was like 14 at the time (for the record, I still think she’s physically attractive when not pregnant, although there’s a ton of “baggage” obviously)

            1. So if I understand Wikipedia correctly, not following this celebrity/”reality” show stuff, she made a sex tape, and everything else that’s happened is just her being famous for being famous?

              Geez, I shoulda made a sex tape 20 years ago. 😐

              1. You understand correctly.

                And, supposedly, she likes being peed on.

                1. And, supposedly, she likes being peed on.

                  That’s another thing missing from Germany. From my limited sampling it’s like a national pass time over there. It must be all the beer drinking.

              2. no, thanks

              3. Basically. She was a minor celebrity because her dad was one of OJ’s attorneys, and IIRC, she was friends with Paris Hilton. But she became a pop culture icon after making a sex tape with Ray J (semi-famous hip hop artist who she was dating at the time)

                BTW, Ray J recently released this song, and I must say I find it hilarious


      5. I’m disturbed by how boring the entire US and Germany are compared to Iceland and Central Europe.

        Come on Germany, where is your Schei?e and your gasmask porn?

        1. where is your Schei?e and your gasmask porn?

          I think that’s all implied in the term “German”.

        2. Why the hell do Icelanders want to watch gay American Indians?

        3. Uhm, perhaps it is not so much being boring as it is the fact they don’t have to search for it on line. It’s there right in the living room.

      6. Maybe those states are just enthusiastically in favor of an Islamist Phillippines. Moros are sexy, too.

    3. “Raincoat” mist mean condom, right? Or latex?

      1. “Raincoat” mist mean condom, right? Or latex?

        My guess was it was slang for being uncut.

        1. That was my third guess.

    4. What does “pov” mean?

      1. Point-of-view…the porn where the actor is holding the camera at eye level, so it looks like “you” are having sex with the girl/guy/horse.

        1. Thanks, that’s what I thought.

      2. Point of View? They want to see porn filmed from a particular point of view?

    5. Perhaps in Chile and Peru, only gay people visit internet porn sites.

      Yeah right.

      1. Mexico too, apparently.

    6. Why there will never be peace in the Mid-East.

      Number one search term for Palestine? “family”
      Number one search term for Israel? “prostate”

    7. Romania has “mom and son” listed twice.

      India has “rape” at #7.

      1. Britain has Indian at number 2.

        I could do a helluva directed graph with this.

      2. It’s too bad it wasn’t at #10 too, cuz, you know…

      3. Romania has “mom and son” listed twice.

        It’s listed wice because they wanted to see mom with the OTHER son. Not with themself. That would be gross.

    8. Venezuela:

      1. Gay
      2. Gay
      3. Gay
      4. Gay
      5. Nina Hartley
      6. Gay
      7. Gay
      8. Gay
      9. Gay

      That’s some funny shit. Only Nina can make the Venezuelans spank to women. One of my all time favorites.

      1. It’s cause of the toilet paper shortage, of course.

      2. Mason Storm too.

      3. So many hot Venezuelan women that the straight guys don’t need porn.

      4. Wrong.
        1) Toilet paper

    9. I don’t want to know what weird shit goes on in Romania

      1. That is, surprisingly, my #1 takeaway so far.

      2. I don’t want to know what weird shit goes on in Romania

        Yes, you do.

        1. I don’t know if I want to click that link or not

          1. If you hovered over the link, you’ll have noted it’s a Youtube link. I have Youtube videos set up not to play automatically, so I saw it was some song called “The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)”.

            Does anybody want to touch IFH’s fanny?

      3. I very much want to know, I emailed my Romanian friend.

        Perverts make me deeply happy. I knew there was a reason he and I were friends.

        1. Perverts make me deeply happy.

          That’s why we all spend so much time on H&R.

    10. #3 for Nigeria is hilarious

      “Things I jack off to”

      1. Maybe the Nigerian NSA will use their data warehouse to do the actual redirect for you. After all they’ve been watching your spank material for a while and if Amazon can do it for you, why can’t they?

        Also, why isn’t Somalia on there? I was so hoping to see “Free Roads” as the #1 pr0n search there.

    11. And Icelanders are particularly filthy

      Not surprising when porn in books/media is banned there

      But I also question the results for Asia or countries, which seem to show nothing. I think they are only capturing ascii or roman alphabet based searches

      1. I guess they just don’t care as long as it’s Asian.

        Another thing I noticed is that Indian and Asian seem to be popular everywhere there’s a significant number of them, but not so much in places where they’re uncommon.

        1. I think those search strings are probably coming from expats staying there

          Japan, China, Korea are English words, which the natives don’t use.

          But even if they were using native languages, if they are gathering data by comparing something like Google search trends against a list of words, I think they are also missing out on the vast bulk of searches since the terms are completely different. e.g. “AV” = adult video (porn), “eroge” = erotic game, etc.

          1. I would have guessed the top search in Japan would be bukkake.

            1. The term “bukkake” literaly translates to something like “stuff poured on”. Kind of like “basted”.

              I’ve actually seen the term used in a menu at a regular restaurant and no Japanese would even make the connection to the porn term.

          2. Yeah, I guess that’s a relevant point. Are the top searches listed the top English searches, or the total top searches, but translated?

    12. what’s a castrated shemale?

      1. I expected more weird shit out of Canada. You aren’t putting enough effort in Pantsfan.

        1. my searches didn’t make it

          1. It’s a shame that they didn’t break Canada up into provinces. I bet the Quebecois are filthy.

            1. curds and gravy man, curds and gravy.

      2. what’s a castrated shemale?


    13. Man, Mexicans are really nationalistic with their porn. Also, really gay.

      1. Wow, I take that back, pretty much all of Latin America is really nationalistic. And gay.

        1. No, actually everyone is really nationalistic.

        2. It’s not gay, bro, they’re just checking to make sure they’re doing Latino machismo correctly, and multitasking by touching their genitals. Efficient AND machismo, can you think of a better people?

    14. Why the hell are Icelanders into Native Americans? Even Americans aren’t that into Native Americans. No offense, Native Americans.

      1. Yeah that one’s really weird just because of how random it is. And it’s gay Native American porn specifically

        1. I’m guessing the Village People were huge in Iceland?

    15. I know I’m going to regret asking this, but why is “compilation” a porn term?

      1. It’s actually quite dull. It’s just the hottest scenes from a movie or an actor/actress, or of a category of sex acts.

        So the term probably comes up so highly because someone could search for
        Pavel Novotn? compilation
        Jenna Jameson compilation
        watersports compilation
        anal compilation

        to just get a bunch of scenes of those things stitched together.

        1. Oh, good. I was afraid it was a reference to something in Warty’s basement.

      2. From Urban Dictionary:

        Predominantly used on internet porn tube sites. “Pil” or “compilation” describes videos containing a collection of several short clips of one specific sexual act, fetish or genre shown back to back. These videos are useful when an individual want to view a certain type of pornography but does not care to view full scenes, i.e. foreplay to cumshot.

    16. So “aussie” means in “gay” in Australia, huh? I had no idea I was calling my Aussie friends queers all the time.

  3. But I have been assured that paying taxes is voluntary. What could they need guns for?!?

    1. And I have been assured that KORPARASHUNZ collecting data is worse than the government doing so!
      I’m guessing the KORPARASHUNZ have AR-16s!

    2. Not by anyone who knows what he is talking about. Of course it’s compulsory, like all laws. If you want to live in a place where obeying the law is voluntary, knock yourself out–if someone doesn’t shoot you with absolute impunity first.

      1. OK, shithead checks in with confusion followed by strawman/lie combo! What a surprise!

        Tony| 6.12.13 @ 9:08PM |#
        “Not by anyone who knows what he is talking about.”
        That would be the federal government making that claim, shithead, so are you stating that the federal government doesn’t know what it is talking about?

        “If you want to live in a place where obeying the law is voluntary, knock yourself out–if someone doesn’t shoot you with absolute impunity first.”
        Yep, if someone from the government isn’t threatening to shoot you, someone else must be. Oh, and they’ll ‘get away with it’, unlike the cops! Thanks, shithead!

      2. –if someone doesn’t shoot you with absolute impunity first.

        Even if that person had IRS emblazoned upon their Navy windbreaker?

    3. Can we please start having action movies where IRS enforcers are busting down doors because someone set up their withholding incorrectly?

      Maybe have Seth Rogen in it.

      1. Wesley Snipes big comeback.

      2. Could do a reality show.

        Real Stories of the IRS!

        1. It’ll be great until they shoot a seven year old sleeping on a couch,

          1. They haven’t done that already?

            1. I thought they just burned her with a flashbang

  4. “Are Americans that much of a target that you need that kind of capability?”

    Maybe IRS agents are that much of a target. The alleged logic behind a right to maximum personal firepower for the purposes of self-defense is surely never going to apply only to non-bureaucrats. That would be a violation of their sacred rights.

    1. Tony| 6.12.13 @ 9:06PM |#
      “Maybe IRS agents are that much of a target”

      Maybe shithead has a brain cell.
      Evidence lacking in both cases, shithead.

    2. That would be a violation of their sacred rights.

      Derp. Not while they’re on the job.

    3. Funny how this piece of shit has no complaints about government thugs being armed to the teeth, but anyone else exercising their right to bear arms is a redneck crazy gun nut compensating for a small prick.

      1. I think that’s evidence of successful indoctrination by government agents.

    4. Meet Michael Dillon, the only I.R.S. agent to be killed on duty

      As always Tony w/o spaces, you are unexpected and unwelcome pleasure to have around.

      1. SF’ed the link, dude

  5. “Criminal Investigation Special Agents are equipped similarly to other federal, state and local law enforcement organizations.”

    “Nothing else to cut!”

  6. “While Duncan acknowledges that the IRS has an enforcement division, he questions if that level of firepower is appropriate when they could coordinate operations with other agencies, like the FBI, especially in a time of austerity.”

    WTF? The people saying this dont know what the word austerity means.

    1. Decreasing the rate of increase (but still increasing it) is austerity, rit?

      Like when you’re on the freeway, with the pedal on the floor, accelerating from 70 to whatever you car will do. You see a cop when you hit 90. You don’t take your foot off the gas, you just ease it up a little, so when you pass the cop, you’re only doing 95, rather than 105.

      That’s austerity.

  7. Hey Jerome: Those of use who’ve been putting the screws to the IRS…”

  8. Album of the week is Beady Eye – BE

  9. What I’d like to know is when can we start arresting IRS, DHS, DEA, et. al. agents?

    When can we raid their offices looking for stolen goods?

    When can we start jailing them for being violent criminals who routinely violate property rights (including the property rights of one’s own body)?

    When can we arrest their bosses at the DOJ and other agents for being complicit in their crimes?

    When can we arrest the Congressmen who writes or votes for legislation that enables or sanctions their actions?

    1. When can we shoot their dogs?
      That’s what I wanna know.

      1. Hey, it’s not the dog’s fault, man.

    1. I went from thinking “letterman recycles what he says with no thought” to “30 year troll, awesome” back to “recycles”

      Still, fun.

      1. He really loves drums.

    2. Also was hoping for Neil Peart.

  10. OT, but everyone will be relieved to know that China-loving Thomas Friedman is all about the NSA. He doesn’t want another 9/11.

    Because, it’ s not like we knew that there were wanted terrorists in the country illegally at a flight school prior to 9/11. Catching them would have been WAY more complicated than just using the basic information we had and applying it. Only endless snooping would have prevented 9/11.…..ef=general

  11. Does your ladyfriend suffer from BRF?

    1. Oh man, I have a friend that suffers from BRF! I’m going to send this to our mutual friends because she’d stab me if I sent it to her.

    2. I have a similar condition called Serious Resting Face. The majority of the time I look humorless and dour regardless of how I am actually feeling.

      1. I think mine is more Scowling Resting Face.

        One time I got dragged with a bunch of guys from my unit to a cheap strip joint where my lack of Marine enthusiasm stopped the artist mid-routine who muttered something at me before storming off the stage.

  12. HODOR!
    Hodor a simpleminded servant working for House Stark and is played by Kristian Nairn. When he’s not on the show, Nairn can be found manning the one’s and two’s.

    1. I can’t believe what Ygritte did to Jon Snow.


      1. you know nothing, Jon Snow.

      2. One of the things Jon Snow doesn’t know is what they say about redheads.

      3. One of the things Jon Snow doesn’t know is what they say about redheads.

      4. One of the things Jon Snow doesn’t know is what they say about redheads.

        1. I bet he can’t triple post either.

          1. Oh you are so going to burn in honor of the Lord of Light.

            1. Just you wait. Yara Greyjoy’s gonna win all of Westoros.

              1. What was her plan again? Sail all the way around Dorne and up the east coast of Westeros to the Dreadfort as winter approaches?

                I’m sure a rescue attempt that will take two months will really help Theon.

                1. Theon is beyond help.

                  1. He still has his phantom cock.

                    1. While no one deserves that, you’d have to say he’s paid for his trespasses.

                    2. Honestly all those scenes of torture were pretty pointless since they didn’t advance the story.

                      They could have cut (pun intended) from where Ramsay lures him back into the castle for more torture to Balon getting the dick-in-a-box and we’d be exactly where are at right now.

                    3. well since the season 3 is based on book 3, and there’s no Theon in book 3, they had to do something?

                    4. The only explanation I can think of is that either the writers/showrunners are sadists or Alfie Allen is under contract to appear in a minimum number of episodes a season.

                    5. Yes?

  13.| 6.12.13 @ 9:01PM |#
    “I’m going to assume this is the Links After Dark.
    OT: Global Internet Porn Habits.
    Not explicit, work un-friendly.
    A friend sent this to me and we couldn’t figure out a few of the terms.\
    “raincoat” (Ukraine) or “coat” (Vietnam)? And Icelanders are particularly filthy, while Chileans and Peruvians are gayer than Epi when he’s visiting gaytown.
    Heroic Mulatto| 6.12.13 @ 9:10PM |#

    Boring. Unless you really think what triggers masturbation is fascinating.
    How about what doughnuts people buy in the morning? ‘Way more fascinating.

    1. maple dip

        1. my doughnut

          1. You have to admit it could easily be some sort of Canadian fetish.

            1. who says it isn’t

              1. Kinky.

      1. Oops.
        You’re right; way more interesting.
        Personally, as a CA resident, I prefer cinnamon twists! Isn’t that interesting!
        Dunno what Ukrainians prefer and don’t care.

  14. That was quite a stand by the CHI defense to save it in OT.


      1. Now it’s double.

        1. I suggest winning by 2 goals, like Tennis.

          1. I’m not really a hockey fan, just a Boston homer.

            1. I’m cheering against Boston more than I am cheering for Chicago. Although Jonathan Toews is my homeboy.

              1. See, even that was way over my head. I know the basics of the rules and that’s about it.

                1. He’s the captain on Chicago.

  15. This thread is all the awesomer because I haven’t actually read the article/results yet. It’s just one big, long thread o’ random porn.

    1. I repeat: maple dip.

    2. It has been better than most, hasn’t it?


    1. I think it should be “treble overtime.” Discuss.

      1. yes!

      2. The trouble with trebles…

        1. The treble clef was historically used to mark a treble, or pre-pubescent, voice part.

    2. More northern soccer? When do they finally play for that Stanley Mug thingy, so we can be done with this?

      1. this is game one of the final round!

      2. Say what you will about hockey, but at least they have a real trophy.

          1. Sometimes I really respect you Hosers.

  17. Pravda: New textbooks on Russian history to revise 30 issues

    The authors of the concept of the joint textbook on the history of Russia intend to give teachers explanations on more than 30 controversial issues. The list mentions the names of most Soviet and Russian leaders, including Joseph Stalin, Nikita Khrushchev and Leonid Brezhnev.

    It is generally believed in Russia that the personas of the above-mentioned Soviet leaders should be considered solely within the framework of their reforms, excluding other interpretations. [emphasis mine]

    These interpretations, among others, include Stalinist repressions, the mentioning of which in the textbook is considered ineffectual. [emphasis mine again]

    1. My 8th grade math teach looked like Lenin.

      1. In Soviet Russia, Lenin looks at your 8th grade math teacher!

    2. “Ineffectual” implies a measure of effectiveness in achieving a particular goal… but there is a possibility of bad translation.

  18. Let me list the reasons why IRS agents want to shoot the AR-15

    They get paid to do it
    It’s the kind of activity you might do on vacation or a cruise
    They’ve got the ammo
    It’s a cool gun
    They don’t have to buy the gun or the ammo
    It’s almost as much fun as humiliating a conservative taxpayer
    The skills might come in handy if the public finds out everything the government’s been up to

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