Friday Funnies: Holder and the Media

Henry Payne

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bernard Shaw is back on CNN? Good for him.

[WTF]

What is this I don't even...

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's early, your mind isn't working yet. You'll get it once you get that first cup of media in you.

[db]

Media! It's a healthy way to start your day! Part of this complete breakfast. Fortified with 11 herbs and spices.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

And electrolytes! Which plants crave!

[Almanian!]

*kicks Longtorso in the nads*

[Ted S.]

I didn't think Longtorso had any nads to be kicked in.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Kick away, they're steel. Really, I got them from an office desk clacker toy after an unfortunate bull riding incident. You should hear me *clack* *clack* *clack* when I walk down the street.

[AlmightyJB]

Ouch! My balls!

[invisible furry hand]

so the media is a chamberpot that sits on a desk. Got it.

[Fluffy]

I am confused because of insufficient labeling.

That rectangular device with a black frame that is showing that video of the African-American gentleman - what is that? Can't you put a label on it so I'll know what it is?

That black object the man in the blue shirt is sitting on - what is one of those called?

I have noun trouble and I think you need to help me out more if you want this cartoon to be clear.

[AlmightyJB]

All you need to know is that it's RACIST.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I'm just trying to figure out what penis-nose (a straight line thru the forehead to the tip of the nose like the white guy watching TV) would look like in real life. We need an example, like those life size Barbie dolls people use to bash Mattel.

[db]

...yeah, that's not what they're using those dolls for. Unless "bashing Mattel" has a new meaning to the kids these days.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I meant feminist protestors, not Warty masturbating.

[Arkansaustrian Economics]

See Akroyd, Dan in Nothin But Trouble

[PS]

This has to be the worst FF ever.

[Lord Humungus]

seconded

[Almanian!]

This is the worst chatroom ever. EVER.

[Ted S.]

There's some pretty stiff competition for that "honor".

[invisible furry hand]

each new FF is the worst one ever

[db]

Each new unthreaded comment is the unthreadedest ever.

[Lord Humungus]

seconded (again)

[Ted S.]

IFH = P Brooks?

[Fist of Etiquette]

WRONG and WRONG. This is one of the best Friday Funnies of all times.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I'm with you Fist.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Then I change my vote.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Bad enough to make me wish Bok was back.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Wait, are they not doing Bok's anymore? Bokbluster.com was one of the greatest play on words. He had his name legally changed just so he could use it. It used to be Chip Cleverwitz.

[Copernicus]

Worst Payne-toon ever? Vote early, vote often.

[Acosmist]

That is a huge monitor. Maybe buying those is why the media are going out of business. Cut costs, guys!

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Texan Robin Kral couldn't be happier to have won 1972's Bee. Lauren Pringle, right, is not so happy with second place. This may be the greatest photograph ever taken.

[BlueBook]

Damn, I'd like to see a follow-up on those two in later life.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Hot spelling bee hate sex.

[Eduard van Haalen]

NPR just did a thing about all the Indian-Americans winning spelling bees.

[Ted S.]

What was their concern troll angle?

[Eduard van Haalen]

Either it wasn't there or I missed it. I think it was multiculturalism.

[Apatheist ?_??]

Makes me want to watch the Cheap Seats spelling bee episodes again.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Mogwai!!!!

[Pro Libertate]

It all works out for her in the end, as she later is hired to portray Velma.

[AlmightyJB]

My guess is that Robin is a coke head and Lauren is a pole dancer.

[WomSom]

lol, wpow that makes a ll kinds of sense dude.

http://www.WorldPrivacy.tk

[Longtorso, Johnny]

I also demand a Slim Boodbody pic accompanying a Reason article in the next week.

5 Romantic Products Perfect for Ending Relationships
...Let's do a quick test: What is it that you like most about bacon? That it smells and tastes delicious? Well, the inventors of the bacon condom are pretty sure what you like most about bacon is that fact that it looks like an inside-out rectum. This is a latex condom that just looks like bacon -- sort of. Actually it more closely resembles what Slim Goodbody's flayed dick might look like if PBS had the courage to make him anatomically correct....

[Longtorso, Johnny]

...Speaking of revolting combinations of body parts and food, the Edible Anus is a Belgian chocolate replica of the only part of your own body that, at its healthiest, can make you deathly ill even from second-hand contact. That's it. What at first seems like it must be a gag gift is actually painstakingly hand crafted by chocolatiers who, apparently, also share a deep and profound appreciation for butt holes. The reason it looks so realistic is because it was produced from a mold of an actual butt, and now it's available for your consumption....

[Almanian!]

Horrible. Therefore perfect.

Happy fucking Friday, Reasonoloids.

[SIV]

The dog whistles are deafening. Is this reason or Stormfront? It is 2013, you can't have a caricature of an African-American saying "boo". Payne is calling the AG a sp**k.

[Almanian!]

+1 Casper

[Bee Tagger]

How many movies is this administration going to consult on? I didn't even understand a Ring sequel, let alone a trilogy.

[Eduard van Haalen]

Which Ring series - the one with the hobbits, the one with the Norse gods, or the one with the long-haired creepy chick?

[Bee Tagger]

I haven't heard of the second one. So, that one.

[Eduard van Haalen]

You never saw TWILIGHT...of the Gods?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Fifty-six minutes and this is the best you could come up with?

[sarcasmic]

When did Juan Williams grow a mustache?

[Floridian]

OT: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3355184
Maybe this hard news can take our mind of these so-called scandals.

[Ted S.]

We discussed this yesterday in the Afternoon Links.

Unrelated, but does anybody else find the Huffington Post site to be a horrible memory hog? If you're going to post to such a shithole, at least give us a pr?cis of the article if the URL doesn't give a good clue.

[Floridian]

My first link a failure?! For shame. I'll return to the back of the class now.

[AlmightyJB]

Wow. I'm so glad I have not succumbed to getting twitter.

[Tim]

What the fook is that?

[some guy]

This isn't funny. It's just disturbing and more than a little frightening. Job well done Mr. Payne... for once.

[Longtorso, Johnny]

Sorry for violating the purity of the Payne cartoon comment thread.

[Harvard]

That's obviously Jesse Jackson you idiot.

[Almanian!]

lulz!

LONGTORSO IS BACK, BITCHEZ!

Next: Moar Bea Arthur Lynx!

[Warty]

Ignore her. You don't want her to start shitting up the place with 2000 comment threads again.

[SugarFree]

Did you notice the date, Warty?

[Longtorso, Johnny]

The Jacket already posted a nude Bea Arthur pic on the main blog page. I can't top that; I can only detract from the moral purity of that moment.

[db]

Of today or when she started?

[SugarFree]

End of the month, db. The meds start running out.