Deception on Drone Strikes, Giffords Returns to Lobby for Gun Regs, Global Warming Didn't Cause Drought: P.M. Links

• 

  Credit: Tomás Castelazo / Foter.com / CC BY

  The Obama Administration's insistence that drone strikes are being used in Pakistan to take out high-level al-Qaeda targets is utter nonsense.

• Former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is heading back to the Hill, this time to lobby for gun control regulations.
• For those who didn't realize that comic actor Jonathan Winters was still alive, he's dead at 87.
• North Dakota is building the first new oil refinery the United States has seen since the '70s.
• If you don't know why references to a Philadelphia abortion doctor named Kermit Gosnell currently on trial for murder is now suddenly showing up in your favorite social media venues, here's some info.
• A federal study says last year's massive drought was not caused by global warming.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is heading back to the Hill, this time to lobby for gun control regulations.

WHO WOULD DARE DENY HER?

[Drake]

Not so mush to lobby as to be waved around like a brain-damaged billboard.

[celena7ron]

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job Ive had. Last Monday I got a new Alfa Romeo from bringing in $7778. I started this 9 months ago and practically straight away started making more than $83 per hour. I work through this link, mojo50.com

[Episiarch]

I'm getting, really, really fucking sick of this shit. I'm pretty sure the new tactic is just to keep beating the drum endlessly until they gain some victories just through gun-rights-supporters' fatigue alone.

[Anonymous Coward]

What baffles me is that the TEAM Reds who are ostensibly defending the right to self-defense are standing up against this incrementalist bullshit. Liberty doesn't die in one fell stroke, it dies by inches. Most of these spree killers had no criminal records, no documented history of mental illness, so this "universal background check" bullshit being pushed would have done nothing to stop them.

[Rich]

It appears that serious legal challenges are ahead; but your point is well taken.

[Episiarch]

Of course it wouldn't. This has absolutely nothing to do with preventing future crimes. Nothing. Is has to do about CONTROL, as always.

[AlmightyJB]

"no documented history of mental illness"

Wsn't the VTech dude supposed to have been denied purchase due to mental history but he didn't make it into the database?

[Anonymous Coward]

I am mistaken on the VT shooting. Seung-Hui Cho did have a documented history of mental illness (autism? Anxiety disorder?) but was never involuntarily committed, which meant he could still buy his own firearms under Virginia and federal law.

[Pro Libertate]

"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt." -- John Philpot Curran

[Virginian]

Uh oh..abortion thread.

[Ted S.]

I thought Friday "Funnies" was the abortion of a post, not PM Links.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You just didn't get the cartoon.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

That's like not getting HIV. Congratulate him.

[Bobarian]

It is exactly like not getting HIV, and each week we keep sticking our privates into that mess.

It is a sick compulsion.

[Ted S.]

Oh, I got it all right. I got that it wasn't funny.

[AlmightyJB]

abortion?

[Zeb]

Shut up! Maybe no one will notice.

[Killazontherun]

Congrats on being the first to comment.

[A Serious Man]

A federal study says last year's massive drought was not caused by global warming.

Socialism still causes more droughts than AGW.

[C. Anacreon]

But Obama said the drought was proof we need action on climate change, and anyone who disagreed was a climate change-denier! Who is the federal government to contradict him?

[Fist of Etiquette]

North Dakota is building the first new oil refinery the United States has seen since the '70s.

Gaia weeps. AND THEN NORTH DAKOTA REFINES HER TEARS!

[Jack the Reaper]

I for one welcome our new North Dakotan overlords.

[CharlesWT]

The North Dakota refinery is for production of diesel for local consumption. It has a modular design and can be dismantled and moved elsewhere if necessary.

[Fist of Etiquette]

My uncle had a still that was KD for the same reason. Keep ahead of the feds. Good thinking, North Dakota!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Look at who has pants that are 22 different flavours.

[hamilton]

That is so not who I guessed.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, I'd have guessed Lil Kim

[hamilton]

Or possibly Ke$ha but with totally different ideas of "flavors", like those Harry Potter jellybean things.

[robc]

So, some "friends" once gave me one of those and said "Guess what flavor this is?" I bit into it, took two steps and vomited in the garbage.

They then said, "Correct!"

[Rich]

the new ads are intended to fill in the blanks in Kool-Aid Man's character so people can relate to him.

Indeed, one of the ads shows him enjoying shooting his AK-47 at an outdoor range.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Obama gives green light for construction on new $3.5 billion Detroit-Windsor bridge

[Ted S.]

But who wants to go to Detroit?

[Tim]

Does this only have a northbound lane or are there Canadians who want to drive south and get robbed/murdered?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Technically, Windsor is "South" of Detroit

[Tim]

"Everybody look at the big brain on Brad"

[Ted S.]

I miss the days when Alex Trebek lectured Jeopardy! contestants on how they needed to know more about Canada.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Why wouldn't you want to know more about Canada?

[C. Anacreon]

The Duke Of Windsor?

[gaijin]

Where the knots are all symmetric?

[Anonymous Coward]

In a federal lawsuit filed in February, Ambassador Bridge owner Manuel (Matty) Moroun claimed a "perpetual and exclusive franchise right" to operate the bridge free of competition from another span.

Someone attempting to engage in economic protectionism? That's impossible! I thought we lived in an unregulated wild-west where corporate warlords strode the Earth like titans, dropping fast food joints and factories wherever their evil hearts desired.

[mad libertarian guy]

I thought we lived in an unregulated wild-west where corporate warlords strode the Earth like titans, dropping fast food joints and factories wherever their evil hearts desired.

Wish it were that way.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A federal study says last year's massive drought was not caused by global warming.

It was caused by lax gun laws and low taxes.

[Trespassers W]

If you don't know why references to a Philadelphia abortion doctor named Kermit Gosnell currently on trial for murder is now suddenly showing up in your favorite social media venues, here's some info.

I was shocked by his bio.

[Virginian]

So I had a great progtard encounter yesterday. I was manning the front desk at one of my jobs. A patron leaves, then storms back in very very angry. He tells me he wants to report a crime. I get out an incident form to document it. I ask him what happened. He says "Someone tore my magnet showing my support for President Obama off the car, ripped it into pieces, and threw it all over my front windshield. You need to call the police, and ask for the Hate Crimes Unit."

It took all my self control not to burst out into a torrent of laughter.

[Episiarch]

Why control yourself? Laughter was the proper response.

[Rich]

"Law and Order: HCU"

[Brett L]

"I'm sorry, sir. For something of that magnitude, I recommend you go directly to the University President's Office."

[Fist of Etiquette]

"In the criminal justice system, bumper sticker based crimes are considered the most heinous. The dedicated officers assigned to investigate these offenses is the Hate Crimes Unit. These are their stories."

[Francisco d Anconia]

Dun, dun!

[Episiarch]

"That doesn't make sense! Ketchup is a condiment!"

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Clean up on aisle busted."

[A Serious Man]

If SNL had some balls they would do a parody of that.

[Rasilio]

ROTFL, someone with the time, equiptment and money needs to do a web series on that, simultaneously parrodying the Law and Order Franchise and relentlessly mocking the very concept of hate crime laws.

Bonus points if they can get themselves banned from some progressive utopia for perpetrating hate crimes.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Proper response dependent upon how much you need the job.

I probably would not have been able to control myself.

[Restoras]

What a motherfucking pussy. He should try driving to Yankee Stadium with a Red Sox magnet on his car, like I do.

[Episiarch]

If you had balls it would be a sticker and not a magnet. Magnets can come off without damaging the car. Stickers can't.

Fuck, now I want to go to Fenway wearing a Yankees hat.

[hamilton]

per your own logic, that should be a Yankees tattoo.

[Episiarch]

I'm not insane, dude.

[gaijin]

I want to go to Fenway wearing a Yankees hat.

Looking to be victim of a hat crime are ya?

[Almanian!]

+! beating

[Ted S.]

Why would anybody want to be a fan of either the Yankees or Red Sox?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Because they like teams that win?

[Ted S.]

There's Bayern M?nchen for that.

[mr lizard]

Go Rays bitches!

[A Serious Man]

Sox-Yankees is the most boring, over-hyped rivalry in professional sports. The only thing I hate about baseball season is the fact that almost all 18 games they play together gets nationally televised by Fox and ESPN instead of a real rivalry like the Dodgers and Giants.

[Episiarch]

Why don't you just go back to your tractor pull if you don't like it? Ichiro is going to the Yankees anyway, which means that Mariners games will officially be 100% boring now.

[Pro Libertate]

Don't listen to Episiarch--you're right.

[Brett L]

Apparently Dodgers-Padres is going to be a good one this year.

[A Serious Man]

Yeah, for his safety Bud Black needs to keep Carlos Quentin in the clubhouse when they go to the Ravine next week.

Total bush league that fight was and there should be hockey justice: Quentin can't play for as long as Grienke can't pitch.

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you tell him that he should see this as an opportunity to give $3 to Obama for America/Organizing for Action/The Obama Shirts for a new car magnet and to show his support for Barry's perpetual motion campaign?

[Pro Libertate]

It's easy to laugh, but that's where we're going. Allowing such a thing as "hate crime" to get on the books was a very, very dangerous thing. And that kook votes, too.

[Rich]

So, could keying "I love Obama" on someone's car ever be a hate crime?

Or a crime at all, for that matter?

[Pro Libertate]

That's a love crime, baby.

[Longtorso]

The latest hamster quote I ran across today on PoF:

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ? Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

? Bob Marley, Bob Marley

[Virginian]

The hamster does loom large. But nothing beats the Marilyn Monroe one.

[Episiarch]

I'm impressed that you are willing to use ridiculous terms like "hamster" in front of everyone without seeming embarrassment. I mean, you're in the same group as Longtorso and American when you do. How does that feel?

[Longtorso]

Epi, you don't think that quote is the least bit fucked up, or do you like it when people hurt you?

[Zeb]

No one likes it (well maybe some do, but they're weird). But that doesn't mean it's not a valid observation. Is there anyone you've ever been very close to who hasn't hurt you in some way or other at some point?

[Virginian]

It amuses me.

[Episiarch]

And me as well. But not in the same way.

[Longtorso]

Come on, Epi, tell me that those quotes aren't totally fucked up.

[Scarcity]

Hamster quote? (Also: Plenty of Fish?)

[Virginian]

Hamster quote?

"Real women have curves" is a great example.

The male equivalent is a fat, jobless, basement dwelling loser with no social skills insisting that girls only like assholes and rich guys.

[Longtorso]

Almost as good:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
? Marilyn Monroe

[Anonymous Coward]

But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Anybody who says this is a fucking psychopath. If you lack the self-control to restrain your worst aspects, why the hell would I want to associate with you?

There's only so much I'm willing to put up with in the name of some pussy.

[Longtorso]

AC, this is for you

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank you, Longtorso. I may need to get that printed and framed for the office.

[Bobarian]

But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Anybody who says this [is a fucking psychopath] has a fucking uterus.

FTFY...

That doesn't come across as sounding mysoginistic, does it?

[Zeb]

Sounds reasonable. What the hell is a hamster quote?

[Longtorso]

Rationalization Hamster - the voice in the back of a woman's mind that says things like "He's not drunk, he's just tired" or "He only beats me because he's under a lot of stress at work".

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Obama Administration's insistence that [fill in blank] is utter nonsense.

[Rich]

Winters was a comic genius and a surrealist painter. To his credit, he could laugh about spending months "in the zoo" for bipolar problems.

RIP, Jonathan.

[Jack the Reaper]

I was surprised that he was still alive, then saddened that he passed.

I'M ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER HERE!!!

[hamilton]

Quick! Somebody gaslight this dude!

[Jack the Reaper]

If by gaslight, you mean make me a margarita, I'm all for it. Rocks...no salt.

[hamilton]

MARGARITAS WITHOUT SALT RIMS ARE FOR AMATEURS.

[Jack the Reaper]

Salt rims are for the young at 'heart'.

And those that don't like the taste of margaritas. Sweet, sour, lime, tequila. Refreshing!

I suppose you drink your shots of tequila with a lime and some salt on your hand too?

heathen.

[hamilton]

I drink my tequila like a man. Straight from the bottle, sitting in an alley sitting in a pool of my own urine.

[C. Anacreon]

He was really amazing if you ever saw him live - he was all ad lib. And not like the half-wits who do "improv" these days, he was truly a genius.

The only issue with him I had is he looked and sounded too much like my father.

[Old Man With Candy]

I had an encounter with him about 20 years ago in Montecito while grocery shopping. Usually when I meet a celebrity hero of mine, the experience ends up a bit disappointing. The only exceptions in my life have been Penn+Teller, Brooks Robinson, and Jonathan Winters. What a truly fine person he was, even putting aside the genius thing.

[Longtorso]

ONE OF THE FUNDAMENTAL MYTHS BEING PROMULGATED IS THAT the banking industry was deregulated during the Bush administration, and that this was a major cause of the financial crisis. Nothing could be further from the truth. The regulatory burden was increased significantly during the Bush years. In fact, regulatory cost was at an all-time high (until the current period) during the peak of the bubble (2005? 2007). Banks' operating statements reflect this cost increase, as does the multithousand-page increase in various government regulatory documents. Government spending alone (excluding costs that the industry incurred and that must be paid by the companies being regulated) on financial regulations (not company bailouts) increased, in adjusted dollars, from $ 725 million in 1980 to $ 2.07 billion in 2007. The financial industry was not deregulated, it was misregulated. During the Bush administration, three major new financial regulatory acts were passed: the Privacy Act, Sarbanes-Oxley, and the Patriot Act.

Allison, John A. (2012-09-06). The Financial Crisis and the Free Market Cure: Why Pure Capitalism is the World Economy's Only Hope (p. 133). McGraw-Hill.

[Longtorso]

The day after TARP passed, we were contacted by our regulators. This was an informal contact over the phone. I received a very carefully stated nondocumentable message. The essence of the message was that although BB& T had substantially more capital than it needed under long-established regulatory standards, given the current economic environment, the regulators were going to create a new set of capital standards. They did not know what the standards would be.

However, they were "very concerned" that we would not have enough capital under these new standards unless we took the TARP capital. They had a regulatory team in place to reexamine our capital position immediately unless we took the TARP funding. The threat was very clear. We said, "Please sign us up for TARP."

[Longtorso]

...There were three large financial institutions that were in severe distress at the time of the TARP discussion. Bernanke believed that if he tried to save these specific companies, the market would turn on them and they would face a major liquidity problem. However, if TARP were positioned as a program to provide liquidity to banks to encourage them to lend, instead of as a bailout, and especially if healthy banks participated, the market would not see the program as a bailout of specific firms. Even if it was viewed as a bailout (which it was), it would be seen as an industry rescue, not a rescue of specific banks. Therefore, the Fed effectively forced all banks with $ 100 billion and over to participate.

[SweatingGin]

Seems like straight-up Atlas Shrugged there.

Your bank looks okay. Be a shame if anything happened to it.

Allison's lecture on youtube (about 70 minutes) on the financial crisis is excellent.

[mad libertarian guy]

Hold on a second . . .

2 things: 1) do you mean to tell me that the left is full of shit? 2) You went through the pains of formerly citing a book, then forget to properly italicize the title of the book? The fuck, dude!

[benji]

I was looking for an older article and came across a global warming thread from last month and found this fun post:

Tony| 3.7.13 @ 5:31PM |#|?|filternamelinkcustomrehide

China and India are ahead of the US on converting to renewable energy. And even if they weren't, that would seem to indicate that we would need to take even more radical action.

And it got me thinking because of how the stupidity the Tony character posts often winds up showing up as "killer arguments" elsewhere from actual people.

How long until we go to war to stop climate change? Something like Kosovo/Libya. They ended local genocide forever so why couldn't we do the same thing to stop the global genocide that is climate change?

I say we build up (stimulus!) to invade Iraq in 2015 to stop them from using or selling those fossil fuels they have. And we should probably confiscate them so they can't cause mass destruction to the planet. We could bring them back to the US and burn them like we do captured drugs. Planetary safety, hth.

[Trespassers W]

That begs the question. Specifically, the question "isn't that begging the question?"

[Rich]

How long until we go to war to stop climate change?

I don't know. But it had jolly well better be *nuclear* war.

[Generic Stranger]

It's the only way to be sure...that we negate global warming. By causing nuclear winter. /Tony

[Archduke Pantsfan]

You know who else liked to assign homework?

[Rich]

A story you'll never see: A New York state teacher faces possible disciplinary action for assigning students to argue Jews conservatives were to blame for the problems of Nazi Germany the United States.

[Ted S.]

Albany, as a state capital, is extremely Democratic, even compared to the rest of the state north of NYC.

[$park?]

And so it's come to this...

To refuse to honor a woman of such great historical and political significance, who was deeply loyal to the United States, is petty and shameful. One truly has to wonder, what is it about Lady Thatcher that gives them pause? Her unfaltering commitment to freedom? Or perhaps the way she fought for individual liberty and limited government?

The comments are pure 100% gold.

[A Serious Man]

And right on cue here's Jezebel rallying its troops to weather the Kermit Gosnell abortion trial by arguing that it only happened due to lack of abortion rights and contraceptive access.

[Trespassers W]

Also lax gun laws and low taxes.

[Hat tip: FOE]

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don't forget men's penises.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

CURSE YOU AND YOUR FAST FINGERS

[Brett L]

California Bar Association recommends disbarment for prosecutor. H&R lawyers, how bad do you have to be to get disbarred? My understanding was that one had to essentially rape and murder a child on camera while screaming, "I am a fucking lawyer!"

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Based on years of reading Balko, that seems to be pretty much on target.

[Scarcity]

while screaming, "I am a fucking lawyer practicing law right now! This is me practicing law!"

[cavalier973]

LOL

*Lucifer our lord

[Ted S.]

And it's not even Kern County.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, as near as I can tell, you have to be Hitler. I mean, literally, the dead Nazi guy from Austria.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

You know what other national leader who fought a war in the Balkans was disbarred?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

He's the only who also executed mental defectives.

[Zeb]

Sheep fucking.

[Pro Libertate]

I don't think so. Anything that hints at a psychological problem gets you special treatment and a license to practice law at the end of it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Noting that some of them traveled a long way to do so, the bar court Judge Lucy Armendariz wrote that "they invariably dismissed respondent's misconduct as either insignificant or not at all unethical. Many did not comprehend its egregiousness."

So he violates A-C privilege by speaking to a defendant without their attorney present, discovers exculpatory evidence as a result of the unlawful interview, fails to disclose exculpatory evidence to co-defendant's attorney, then lies about the whole scenario.

Nothing unethical about that situation at all. So what if he sandbags defense counsel and puts someone in prison who doesn't deserve to be there?

[Pro Libertate]

Privilege is so passe now. The feds like to pretend there's no such thing, especially with SEC matters.

[OldMexican]

A federal study says last year's massive drought was not caused by global warming.

DENIERS!

[Dr. Frankenstein]

So has anyone read any good reviews of Bioshock?

[AlmightyJB]

What's that?

[Ska]

Most of the reviews say the game is great.

And it's pretty fucking great so far (I'm about 75% of the way through I think). Don't let your politics get in the way of the game though. And also, I haven't reached the ending/ultimate mind fuck.

[ant1sthenes]

I haven't played Infinite yet. Which of my political beliefs does it offend more, my support for theocratic white supremacy, or my radical Marxism?

[Brett L]

Mind Control!. No word on whether the tinfoil hats can saves us.

[AlmightyJB]

I have some great ideas about how that can be put to good use.

[$park?]

The guy is from Harvard, I'm not worried.

[Rich]

Hey, is that Kool-Aid Man's brain?

[Brandon]

Oh no! IronShiek had better cover his head before the gay agenda gets hold of that technology and forces him to want to suck dicks!

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Jezebel on Gosnell Trial:

Anti-abortion advocates, naturally, are thrilled that Gosnell is on trial. Horrified along with the rest of us, but thrilled at a chance to argue that this case illustrates how unspeakably disgusting abortion is using the most visceral evidence imaginable. "This is not about being 'pro-choice' or 'pro-life,'" Kristen Powers argues in a USA Today op-ed that seems to have drawn significant national attention to the case for the first time since Gosnell's "Women's Medical Society" was raided in early 2010. "It's about basic human rights."

But this case is all about the difference between supporting and blocking reproductive choice.

First, it's important to remember no one (besides his lawyer) is on Gosnell's side. Infanticide is illegal in all 50 states, and Pennsylvania law prohibits abortions after 24 weeks

Why is this, anyways? What attribute is it that makes killing a newborn so obviously wrong which is absent from, say, a late second or early third trimester abortion?

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Link: http://jezebel.com/why-we-need.....-472647762

[Irish]

You want to know what else this draws attention to? The fact that the media is so in the tank for left-wing causes that they've spent virtually no time on one of the most horrific crimes I've ever heard of.

Duke Lacrosse case = Wall to wall coverage
Zimmerman case = wall to wall coverage
Abortion doctor murders babies = no media coverage

[The Immaculate Trouser]

It's hilarious. As huffy as the Jezzies are about this, it's exactly the sort of thing that they claim just doesn't exist outside the warped mind of some SoCon prude or what have you.

It's like false rape accusations, in that way.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Anti-abortion advocates, naturally, are thrilled that Gosnell is on trial.

If he's acquitted I know a vacant school in Connecticut he could move his clinic to.

[Irish]

I like that they claim anti-abortion advocates are thrilled. The only thing I've seen from anti-abortion advocates is shock and disgust.

I also note that unlike anti-gun activists, anti-abortion advocates didn't immediately dance on the graves of the dead and try to get laws passed 'for the children.'

[T]

What the story shows to me is the complete failure of oversight by the state. If the reports are true, any inspector who set foot in that place should have shut him down immediately. We can argue about whether the state is the appropriate method for ensuring the public safety, but when the monopolize the job, they damn sure shouldn't be malfeasant and negligent. I'm not even asking for skilled here, just not brain-dead.

[Eduard van Haalen]

But Jezebel assures us that the problem was Pennsylvania regulating abortion *too much.*

[Rasilio]

"Why is this, anyways? What attribute is it that makes killing a newborn so obviously wrong which is absent from, say, a late second or early third trimester abortion?"

Essentially it is an emotional response, there is no logical or provabale difference between the 2.

However if you are going to argue that killing someone (anyone of any age) is wrong and should not be tolerated by society you need to define when that person begins and ends. Millions of years of evolution have programmed us to want to protect babies, even those to which we are not related and so nearly all humans find the idea of killing a baby abhorrent and are therefore comfortable with setting that line at birth without thinking too deeply about the subject. Others go a step further and recognize that there is little functional difference between a baby at 32 weeks gestation and a baby and extend the line further back, again without putting too much thought into it. Others never put any thought into it and believe whatever a priest or politician tells them to believe, and those beliefs are always set such as to generate revenue for said priest/politician. Ultimately however whatever reason someone gives you for why infanticide is wrong and abortion is not, (or even why both are wrong or why neither is wrong) it is just a rationalization designed to cloak their emotional response in an air of respectability

[The Immaculate Trouser]

That's essentially true, though in some ways it applies to any definition of personhood that extend beyond yourself.

[cavalier973]

Because the newborn obviously got slathered in the magic personhood sauce that all babies get when they exit the mother.

[A Serious Man]

Having browsed the AM links I don't think the PM links can ever match the rimming and anal thread you guys had going on earlier.

West coast problems.

[AlmightyJB]

Glad I missed it

[Scarcity]

Pretty feeble attempt to get it restarted, ASM.

[A Serious Man]

I wouldn't have any thing to contribute any way.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Suuuure, like we believe that.

[A Serious Man]

I haven't had a relationship that's lasted long enough to build the level of comfort I assume is necessary to get a girl to try that with you.

[jesse.in.mb]

I haven't had a relationship that's lasted long enough to build the level of comfort I assume is necessary to get a girl to try that with you.

I have no idea what any of this means.

[A Serious Man]

Forgive my youthful ignorance then.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Shh, jesse, it's okay, don't worry about the troubles of straight people.

[Irish]

Jesse has never spent more than 15 minutes with a man without one of them sticking something up his butt.

[jesse.in.mb]

That's not true, I dated a bottom for a year.

[A Serious Man]

So you're not one of those gays who thinks that anal and its designation of 'tops' and 'bottoms' is based in oppressive hetero-normative tropes?

[jesse.in.mb]

Is that even a thing? I just don't like baseball euphemisms so the pitcher/catcher thing is right out, and the Euros go with active/passive (or actif/passif for the Frogs), but sometimes the bottoms are doing all the work, it's just unfair to call them passive.

What I HATE are "Total Tops" who think that excuses them from having to put any fucking effort into the encounter. They can just die in a fire.

[A Serious Man]

Is that even a thing?

There are apparently some guys who are into male on male sex that insist that penis rubbing, or frotting, is the one 'true' form of intimate male on male sex since it's more mutual and less degrading than the top/bottom, active/passive designations of anal.

I read about while doing research for a human sexuality class.

[jesse.in.mb]

That's so lame. Frotteurism is great and all, why limit oneself because of bullshit cultural issues. Sodomy is fun for sodomy's sake, not because it emulates man-on-lady sex. Oh well, certain greek cultures thought oral was ok, but not anal, in the 1800s interfemoral sex was apparently the norm. It's just weird that people would limit themselves.

[Episiarch]

Mac: Can a twink be a top or is that reserved for bears?

Dennis Reynolds: I'm sure there's a great deal of switching back and forth but I think more often then not bears are tops, unless they happen to be power bottoms.

Frank Reynolds: What's a power bottom?

Mac: A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.

Dennis Reynolds: Actually Mac, you've got it backwards. You see, the power bottom is actually generating the power by doing most of the work.

[Brandon]

You haven't had a relationship that's lasted 6 Jager bombs?

[Auric Demonocles]

My contribution was basically to point out that assholes are literally holes that shit comes out of.

[Episiarch]

They are also tight holes that penises go into. Just sayin'.

[Irish]

And vaginas are wet holes kept in total darkness 95% of the time.

Everything sounds gross when you say it like that.

[Auric Demonocles]

That doesn't sound gross. You probably could make it sound gross, but that wasn't it.

[Brandon]

I don't know how you would do that. Jessie? What turned you off of the muffin?

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Too many carbs. Duh.

[jesse.in.mb]

If only I had an aversion to carbs.

[Heroic Mulatto]

VAGINAS DON'T HAVE SHIT IN THE....

Oh, wait.

Never mind.

[Irish]

There's no way I am clicking on that link.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Clever girl...

[Virginian]

No way I'm clicking on that link.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Blame Counterfly. I'm sure we could have had at least as lively a discussion in the afternoon. I mean this is when the full Hotarian Alliance and Axis of Glib are here, after all.

[Episiarch]

Jerktarians represent!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Whatever happened to Groovus anyway? Did he get impeached or whatever they do to quack doctors?

[Episiarch]

I am attempting to find out. I will keep you posted.

[$park?]

The chick he shacked up with has him locked up in some Soviet rape/torture dungeon.

[mad libertarian guy]

You say this like it's a bad thing. He's probably getting some anal.

[hamilton]

In Russia, anal does you!

[Bobarian]

Didn't they call that movie Hostel?

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

sloopy has said he has heard from him lately.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They probably got him for dispensing unregulated medical advice over the internet.

[C. Anacreon]

I'm hoping they didn't "need doctors" at the Gulag.

[Pro Libertate]

That's mighty close to jerkitarian, which I think has a subtly different meaning than what you're going for. Or maybe it doesn't.

[Episiarch]

I'm fine with either. Though I'm wondering if buttsexitarian needs to be created.

[Heroic Mulatto]

The Buttsexitarian is a minor off-shoot of the Twerktarian.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Jerkitarians only partially overlap with jerktarians.

[Ska]

I was pretty sure the jerkitarians started referring to themselves as faptarians for obvious reasons.

[Irish]

I missed an anal thread? This is the worst day ever.

[Rasilio]

Were there beads on the thread?

[jesse.in.mb]

I got there late and was sad. Long story short, itsnotmeitsyou has the best sex life.

[Auric Demonocles]

You misspelled grossest.

[Episiarch]

You should at least give it a try sometime.

[Bobarian]

Giving or receiving?

[Episiarch]

Whatever he feels like trying.

[Auric Demonocles]

What if the answer is 'neither'?

[jesse.in.mb]

Both! Fun times had by all.

[mad libertarian guy]

Use one of these on the receiver, wait 20 minutes, and enjoy.

[mad libertarian guy]

Linky.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Heretic.

The evening links are all that man aspires towards; all that he will ever need. Don't waste your time on the cheap laughs that you may or may not have had while reading the AM links -- instead feast on the hearty and mirthful laughter offered by the sacred brotherhood formed by those of us with the panache and daring to post during reasonable, west coast-friendly hours of the day.

[Jack the Reaper]

But I depend on AM links, and a good cup of coffee, to get me through the day...or at least until 10am.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I can't read Reason or anything else early in the morning, otherwise I don't get much work done.

[Auric Demonocles]

It's really hard to do anything before 10.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I'm a morning person. 6 AM - 1 PM is my productive zone.

[Auric Demonocles]

I meant because of AM Links.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Ah, I see. You wouldn't have that problem if you posted on the Evening Links exclusively.

And if you tried anal.

[Jack the Reaper]

You say that like it is a bad thing.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

"Slackers of the world, unite!

Or just sort of sit there. That's cool, too."

[Jack the Reaper]

Slacker? I'm an Overlord. I have my army of child slaves working for me. I don't need to sully my hands with labor at such a heathen hour.

Morning people suck.

[Ted S.]

I think it was only Epi and Warty that were doing the rimming and anal.

[Episiarch]

I'm sure some lurkers would have backed us up.

[Auric Demonocles]

itsmenotyou was very vocal.

[jesse.in.mb]

Rimming was extolled. It was just at the tail end (pun intended) of AM Links.

[Episiarch]

I'm disappointed, jesse. You recognize your own play on words but not mine? Backed us up? Jeez.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

It's a travesty that no one has posted Sir Mix-a-Lot, yet.

We're the evening thread, people. Let's show those pussies from the morning thread what a *real* discussion like.

[Auric Demonocles]

Aren't we mostly the same people from the morning thread?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

No, there's a whole lot of tedious John and sarcasmic circle jerking that never makes it's way to the P.M. links.

[Irish]

John and sarcasmic's conversations can be boiled down to this:

Sarcasmic: Posts something from Daily Mail
John: Ugh. That girl looks like a skinny transvestite.
Sarcasmic: MAYBE THIS IS MORE YOUR SIZE, JOHN!
John: I'm not into fat girl's! I just like them to actually look like women, instead of little boys.
Sarcasmic: Posts picture of Olivia Wilde, they both agree she is attractive.

End scene.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

You forgot the part about how it's not sarcasmic's fault that John's mom didn't breastfeed him. That's like, my favorite part!

[Heroic Mulatto]

I'd take that over a John and MNG spat anyday.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Well, excuse me. Not all of us can afford your fancy, high-faluting "post on AM and PM links" lifestyle -- and how gauche of you to just rub it in like that.

[Virginian]

I got a government job. Now I can post in all the threads!

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Actually, in the morning I mostly just like to watch. It builds my energy for the PM links.

[Episiarch]

Well, I would think posting links to anal sex porn would do the trick. Who's up for it?

[Heroic Mulatto]

My link to Scat Swapping School wasn't good enough for you?

Racist.

[jesse.in.mb]

Scat porn is hardly going to encourage AD to a life of happy hetero-sodomy and rimming.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

As a lady, I have no idea what you're even talking about.

[Rich]

Man Gets 7 Years for Stealing Obama's Teleprompter

"The theft of government property is a serious offense," Assistant U.S. Attorney Roderick Young said in court. "It's all the more serious when the property belongs to the White House Communications Agency."

[AlmightyJB]

Couldn't they technically get him for kidnapping the president?

[Brett L]

"He kidnapped the President's brain!!"

[A Serious Man]

Brain! Brain! What is brain?

[Pro Libertate]

Fuck, that should be the administration's motto. Obama is supposed to be a fan of Star Trek, too, right? You know, with the Jedi mind-meld.

[mad libertarian guy]

Some animals are more equal than others.

Why the fuck is it a bigger crime to steal from Obama than it is to steal from me?

[Brandon]

Because Fuck You, That's Why.

[NeonCat]

Are we all the government? How can you steal from yourself?

[NeonCat]

*Aren't

[Rich]

At least he didn't have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.

[Ted S.]

That's not a link to The Onion?!

[OldMexican]

Former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is heading back to the Hill, this time to lobby for gun control regulations.

I guess background checks stopped being sexy enough for her, she's going full monty.

[Tim]

She's just got to stand there looking pathetic in order to shame people into surrneder.

[Tim]

some reindeer

[NeonCat]

More likely "Yay, car ride! Pretty!"

[A Serious Man]

Retiring New York school teacher writes angry letter claiming his profession 'No Longer Exists', due to standardized testing and for-profit corporations

[Stormy Dragon]

Guy who can't deal with the fact his brother is gay tries to get him institutionalized. When the brother's partner (who has a PoA filed with the hosptila) shows up, homophobic nurse calls the cops to beat the crap out of him and then arrest him:

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/.....-hospital/

[Irish]

What the fuck.

[Drake]

Should be a nice payday when the lawyers get through.

[Virginian]

http://fox4kc.com/2013/04/11/h.....-to-leave/

[Stormy Dragon]

Yeah, and the hospital is contradicting their own account:

However, HCA said Gorley did not present proof of "power of attorney" during that particular visit.

1. If as the hospital says, it was solely due to his behavior, what does having the PoA on him have to do with it? The only way that could be relevant is if having it would have changed the hospital's response. If it would have, doesn't that confirm the problem was the nurse's refusal to accept the relationship?

2. If the disruption was the problem, why weren't both Gorley and Lee (the brother) ejected?

[jesse.in.mb]

The article I read said they had a PoA on file because the guy had been in the hospital before. It's not like that'd be a difficult claim to check.

[Virginian]

every time they stepped out it would get escalated, so she stepped back in and asked them to remove themselves for the sake of the patient at the moment,

Contradictory accounts, developing story.

"We were one of the first to have same sex benefits in the market. We were one of the first to acknowledge same sex partnerships."

I think the homophobia here is from the brother, not the hospital.

[Stormy Dragon]

Note at beginning I said "homophobic nurse" not "homophobic hospital". I don't think the problem was the hospital in general, but a specific employee who decided to substitute her personal moral judgement for both her employer's policies and federal law.

[Stormy Dragon]

Not to mention, if I went into the hospital to direct medical treatment for a family member, and they refused to listen to me in favor of some shlub with no authority to make those decisions, I'd be pretty damn disruptive too. This is the typical "he was being disruptive by asserting his rights in the face of our blatantly illegal behavior" you see all the time from beuracrats.

[C. Anacreon]

So I just received a very nice award yesterday for my work on reducing coercion in mental health care in emergency rooms. And then I read this crap.

*Sigh* Still a very long journey ahead......

[T]

Well, that's gonna be an expensive settlement.

Really, it's easier for straights. You look at the hospital and say "spouse" and the discussion is over. Hell, it's not like they even ask you to prove it.

[Heroic Mulatto]

You could have at least posted a link to the nurse's side of the story (via Youtube).

[Brett L]

Watching a training video on how to "facilitate meetings". The only thing I'm learning is that my sabotage techniques are a little crude and need refining. Although, I proved again today that PMs are like dogs, if you speak in a strong, assertive voice, they roll over and give you what you want.

[NeonCat]

Most do not appreciate being wacked on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper, though.

[Rich]

how to "facilitate meetings".

"This round's on *me*!"

[Chris Mallory]

Here is one of the Cosmotarian's "hardworking immigrants", just committing the drunken murders that American's won't. Of course now he can't be tried because his cultural and language barriers keep him from being able to assist in his own defense.
Way to go Cosmotarians! Maybe Dalmia or de Rugy can hire him as a driver.

http://www.myfoxboston.com/sto.....ncompetent

[Trespassers W]

BELTWAY COCKTAIL PARTIES

[Warty]

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Serious.

[Drake]

He is just what this economy needs. I know it because I keep reading it.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Drunken murders were unheard of before 20th-century immigration.

BTW he can and will be tried. There are laws requiring a court interpreter, but after that he is perfectly capable of assisting in his own defense.

[Chris Mallory]

And if he was still in the 3rd world hellhole he was born in, the American would still be alive. But de Rugy needs her cheap nanny and gardener. So fuck honest Americans.

[Jordan]

So... what? We should never allow anyone to immigrate here because a few murderers might get through? By that logic, we should sterilize everyone, because some of their children are guaranteed to grow up to be murderers.

[Heroic Mulatto]

And by "fuck honest Americans" Chris Mallory is referring to the proven fact that he sexually abuses his daughter in the most vile and disgusting manner possible.

[Calidissident]

Because Americans don't kill other Americans in drunk driving incidents

[Brett L]

I know you're a troll, but you should read your own story instead of the headlines. The judge is sewing up this case so the guy gets all of his competent defense appeals destroyed by her careful decision to wait until interpreters are available in June.

[Ted S.]

Haven't the Irish always been drunken murderers?

[Irish]

WHY DO YOU TALK ABOUT ME WHEN I'M NOT HERE! I have feelings, you know.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I know Irish, and that is specious libel. I can assure you that any murder that he may have committed was purely cold-blooded and unsentimental.

His drinking problem is completely unrelated to the murders, and you know that.

[Irish]

Exactly. I'm actually a nice guy when I'm drunk. The homicides are more of a hobby I have during my sober hours, in order to fill the hole that the booze will not.

[Ted S.]

My mother is partly of Irish descent. I've heard enough of the victimology to make the Southern Irish one of the few groups I'd be bigoted against.

[Anonymous Coward]

"My first reaction yesterday was devastation," Maloney said. "I just can't believe that he was found mentally incompetent based on his education level and unique language. However, after being able to think about it overnight, I'm hoping that this will close whatever loopholes that the defense has to try to appeal or get a retrial if we ever get to a trial."

Calm down, Mallory. This guy is looking at a life sentence. Judge is just eliminating all foreseeable grounds for appeal.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Chris Mallory sexually molests his daughter. She has suffered from multiple anal and vagnial fistulas.

[Auric Demonocles]

To continue on from this morning's awkward moment (though I found the responses hilarious), here's another tidbit. I'm on an online dating site and saw a kind of cute (probably a 6-7) blond girl who is a couple years younger than me and doing a PhD at MIT. She also looked vaguely familiar. I was intrigued enough to save her profile to message later, but not enough to do anything then.

She saw I viewed her profile and sent me a message to ask if I was her TA a couple of years ago (I was, but hadn't recognized her). She has since come on fairly strong and also mentioned that I took a picture for her and her friend at the Cornell-Harvard about 2 months ago.

I must admit, I think the most appealing thing about her would be the prospect of sleeping with a (former) student.

[Episiarch]

I think the bigger question, related to the AM Links (which I am too good for), is: anal?

[Auric Demonocles]

Clearly you are too good for the AM links, or you would already know the answer to that question.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

It's so weird. He recognizes how hot it would be to sleep with a former student, but not how hot it would be to put it in her ass.

[Episiarch]

He is intelligent, but not experienced. His pattern indicates one-dimensional thinking.

[Auric Demonocles]

Considering I'm into oral, should have stuck with 2-dimensional.

[Episiarch]

THE POINT REMAINS THE SAME.

[Auric Demonocles]

I have good news for you, my name rhymes with Kahn.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Superior ability breeds superior ambition, I guess.

[Virginian]

He recognizes how hot it would be to sleep with a former student, but not how hot it would be to put it in her ass.

That's what I'm saying.

I need to finish my degree and get into teaching for this reason exactly.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, I tried to get my wife into anal but she said I could beg all I want she wasn't strapping that thing on.

[hamilton]

(rimshot)

[$park?]

RRRRRAPE CULTURE!

[Brett L]

Do it. You still smell like forbidden fruit. Tell her to bring a couple bottles of wine and her friend.

[A Serious Man]

I've had several attractive female TAs that I would have wanted to sleep with.

But oddly enough the teacher-student fantasy seems much more appealing to college girls than guys.

[Brett L]

Best thing I've ever seen in this manner, was at the first wet t-shirt contest I attended in college. One of the girls I was with says, "Hey, look, that one competing there is my TA for Intro to Gender Studies."

[Auric Demonocles]

But oddly enough the teacher-student fantasy seems much more appealing to college girls than guys.

I'm thinking this might be a factor. She seems really eager. Like, I'm confused at how this eager.

[Virginian]

Stop thinking about it and close the deal.

But wrap it up. You don't know how many dogs have had that bone.

[Auric Demonocles]

I'm not thinking about it. We're going to meet up next week. I had to turn her down for tonight because I'll be back in Vermont visiting friends from undergrad.

[Virginian]

But oddly enough the teacher-student fantasy seems much more appealing to college girls than guys.

Not odd at all, IMO. Most girls like older guys, most guys like younger girls.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

It can be a real problem if you're a male teaching at the high school level.

Just sayin'.

[Pro Libertate]

Just make sure you grab her tits this time. Jesus, man.

[Auric Demonocles]

I already told you I did that. You should have said "grab her tits hard this time".

[Pro Libertate]

When I was in law school, the general consensus--this was an actual debate--was that you haven't touched or seen tit unless you've touched or seen nipple.

[Auric Demonocles]

I'll allow it.

[Irish]

Wait, who in the world hasn't seen tit by the time they're in law school?

[Pro Libertate]

Of course, the point of the discussion was any given tit, not archetypal tit. It was actually more about whether underboob counted as seeing a girl's tits. The ruling was that it didn't.

[gaijin]

This is going to be like an updated e-version of Penthouse Letters isn't it?

"I know this sounds kind of impossible, but..."

[Auric Demonocles]

I'm not sure how long this will keep up. At the current pace I'm not likely to stay single all that long.

[Pro Libertate]

Aim high, stay away from the crazy whores. That's what Internet porn is for.

[Auric Demonocles]

First you tell me to grab this girl's tit, now you tell me to stay away from crazy whores. Make up your mind!

[The Immaculate Trouser]

You grab her tits, then you run and never see her again.

Must we spell out everything for you?

[A Serious Man]

^THIS. It's like above thread I was musing about how I figure anal requires you to develop a level of intimacy and comfort with a partner first.

What kind of girl does anal with someone she doesn't really know and is just having a hook-up with?

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

There are reasons why relationship-sex is more awesome than the other kinds. Anal is only one of them.

[Virginian]

Look at her lower back. If there is a tattoo there, slide your finger around her asshole. She'll give you a red or a green light.

[Drake]

The awesome kind?

[jesse.in.mb]

I would assume the fun ones.

I was more entertained by the hoops some straight women put straight men through for sex. Which I have on good authority they feel they have to do because otherwise they look like sluts and are less desirable. Your cultural norms prevent you all from having a lot more fun.

[Episiarch]

Not me, jesse. Not me. Remember: skanks.

[Pro Libertate]

Odd that the phrase, "skank tank" isn't more commonly used.

[jesse.in.mb]

Good luck with that. Now that the Fertile Plains of Skank are a special administrative region of the Axis of Ho, you're going to have to jump through plenty of hoops.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

And you know NutraSweet keeps his bitches in line.

[A Serious Man]

Which begs the question of how do you discern between fun and crazy?

[Pro Libertate]

Blood.

[jesse.in.mb]

Blood.

This. And breath play.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

And breath play.

Nah, some of them are just 50 Shades devotees. More bored than crazy.

[Episiarch]

My crazy-dar is exquisitely tuned.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

You need an upgrade; it's called craydar now, you idiot.

[Episiarch]

(craydar starts pinging wildly)

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

There is nothing crazy about a correctly and beautifully placed semicolon.

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, but the scars you obtained in fine-tuning it are what we're trying to help Auric avoid. Well, what I'm trying to help him avoid. I think others here may have something other than his best interests in mind, which why I'm fighting you all for custody.

[Episiarch]

Chicks dig scars, ProL. Idiot.

[Pro Libertate]

Your kind of chicks, certainly. The ones that like making scars on vital organs.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

which why I'm fighting you all for custody.

I hope your boat is all gassed up for the Cuba run, then.

[Pro Libertate]

It's a local fad, true.

[A Serious Man]

What about choking?

[jesse.in.mb]

Choking is part of breath play. A hand on the throat can be all sorts of fun, but once they start cutting off your airways (or wanting you to do it to them) you're in breath play territory and it's time to pull the ripcord and make your escape.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

I still say choking/breath play is not necessarily a sign of crazy. Unless her name is Cheryl or Carol.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

jesse, you just haven't been in a relationship long enough to understand when breath play is not a sign of crazy.

[jesse.in.mb]

Alternately none of my long-ish term relationships were with people who were crazy, and therefore into breath play.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

Except you have already said that at least one was with a crazy.

[jesse.in.mb]

He was emotionally clingy crazy. The sex was pretty vanilla.

I'm not saying breath play is bad, but I'd prefer that people who are into it pair off with each other and take crazy out of the dating pool.

[Warty]

Did he stand outside in the rain with a boombox after you dumped him?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

If someone could get the rights a Say Anything boombox app for the iPad would make you rich.

[jesse.in.mb]

No, I did not have the privilege of living an '80s romcom scene. He'd just regularly do something awful (he'd cause weird drama at social functions to force me to leave because he didn't want to be there) I'd get angry and tell him I was done, and he'd manage to stick around long enough for me not to be furious anymore. He always made himself seem really emotionally fragile, but ultimately it was my fault for not having the chutzpah to be harsh the one time instead of letting it grind us both down.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Did David Carridine have the face of a crazy person? I rest my case.

[Irish]

Which begs the question of how do you discern between fun and crazy?

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FUN AND CRAZY!

[Pro Libertate]

This is wrong.

[Pro Libertate]

If the girl grabs your hand to stop you but indicates that she might like your hand there at some later date, might be okay. If she grabs your hand and shoves it down any orifice, especially one of your own, I recommend retreat.

Nice girls like sex, they're just selective.

[Virginian]

Good girls go out, go home, and then go to bed.

Nice girls go out, go to bed, and then go home.

[Warty]

Jesus, the analtarian contingent never shuts up, does it? You cunts are why there are no femaletarians.

[Pro Libertate]

What are you talking about? Oh, you mean non-lesbitarians.

[Episiarch]

You ever consider that you might be the reason, analrapistitarian?

[Warty]

They're still technically female after I'm done with them, which is the best kind of female.

[Pro Libertate]

Don't confront me none, as I already gots mine.

[A Serious Man]

Masters penalizes 14 year old Chinese competitor for slow play, may have cost him a chance at making the cut.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

may have cost him a chance at making the cut.

I guess the future's not the only thing that's inscrutable.

[Sidd Finch]

How the fuck does Kevin Na not get penalized, but this kid does?

[Ted S.]

If only tennis would penalize Rafael Nadal for his slow play.

[Sidd Finch]

and his capri pants

[Episiarch]

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT RAFA

[Pro Libertate]

Considering his age and that this is his first time there, he's done amazingly well.

[A Serious Man]

Always nice to see performances like that from prodigies, which is why it would suck if he misses the cut by one stroke.

[A Serious Man]

Obama paid $112,000 in taxes last year, an effective rate of 18%.

Fucker paid less than my parents. Amazing how he won't donate directly to the Treasury to pay his "fair share".

[NeonCat]

"There are those who say I should pay more. What they fail to realize is that my extra money will go to a far more important cause, financing my political machine so that I can continue to serve and influence this great nation for years, even decades to come."

[Brandon]

Like he would spend a cent of his own money on his political machine.

[C. Anacreon]

paid less than me and I don't make anywhere near his salary

[Auric Demonocles]

I make less than he paid in taxes, but my rate was still 22%.

[Pro Libertate]

Libertarian surcharge.

[Auric Demonocles]

It's that damn monocle tax.

[Pro Libertate]

Yep, gets me every time.

[C. Anacreon]

Ours worked out to 25% per the tax accountant. Really sucked. Then, over 9% CA state taxes on top of that, which don't get deducted because of the alt-min.

I wish they would follow up on the idea that someone had where election day should be April 16. I'll bet that would change a few things.

[Jack the Reaper]

I made more than he paid but I have no idea what my "tax rate" is because - FUCK DOING TAXES.

Oh...and file an extension because I didn't get my shit together in time. Again.

[A Serious Man]

Oh and if you want to see liberal cognitive dissonance in action, just click on the comment tab.

The first one, I shit you not was:

Daniel Hamilton ? Top Commenter
I wonder how much Romney paid, (we probably paid him!)
Reply ? 23 ? Like ? Follow Post ? 2 hours ago

[Irish]

We know how much Romney paid. About 15%, which isn't really that much lower than Obama.

Romney also gave far more money to charity.

[Virginian]

I wonder how much Romney paid, (we probably paid him!)

That has to be a subtle troll...

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, and note that Obama apparently has a problem with people giving money to charity.

[Stormy Dragon]

Only if you count donations to LDS as charity.

[mad libertarian guy]

That fucker didn't pay anything because he didn't earn it. He simply moved $112k from us to the treasury.

When he gets a job in the productive world . . . who the fuck am I kidding?

[Jordan]

Holy shit. The Bidens made $385,000 and only contributed $7,000 to charity. Typical derpgressives.

[C. Anacreon]

Progressives think the government should care for everyone and provide all other services, so there should be no need for charity.

[Dr. Frankenstein]

Did he get a deduction for living in public housing?

[Sidd Finch]

New study says Iowans are fat liars.

Data from BRFSS suggest that the highest prevalenceof obesity is in the East South Central Census division; however, direct measures suggest higher prevalencein the West North Central and East North Central Census divisions.The regions relative ranking of obesity prevalence differs substantially between self-reported and directly measured height and weight.

[The Late P Brooks]

And if he was still in the 3rd world hellhole he was born in, the American would still be alive.

Derp.

I take it you are in favor of wholesale forcible confiscation of guns from anyone who does not work for the government, then?

[The Late P Brooks]

Obama paid $112,000 in taxes last year, an effective rate of 18%.

You don't understand. The accountant was forced to use all those loopholes.

[AlmightyJB]

What's up with the racust trolls? Why are they even here? To bore us?

[Rich]

Raucous racist? Racist locust?

[Pro Libertate]

What's a racust? Is that French?

[Rich]

It's pronounced "rah".

[Pro Libertate]

Rah-coost.

[Rich]

Rah-*swee*.

[Pro Libertate]

Rah-swah?

[Brandon]

It's pronounced "Roo-koo."

[jesse.in.mb]

Is that the thing I plug into my TV and play Angry Birds on?

full disclosure: I do not play Angry Birds.

[Brandon]

Apparently I am the only one here who was a fan of The Boondocks.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

We can hope.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Fuck McGruder with a bat with rusty nails sticking out of it.

[AlmightyJB]

racist. obviously.

[Pro Libertate]

It's French for racist? I thought that was raciste.

[gaijin]

Stop raciste-ing!

[Auric Demonocles]

Yeah, the people into anal are judging me an awful lot for not being into poop, but calling them "racist trolls" is over the line.

[Virginian]

You should try it. You might like it.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Eh, maybe, but most people say it's more fun being a racist troll than calling other people out for it.

[The Late P Brooks]

It's not French, it's Chinese. It means "shirt with a little alligator on it."

[mad libertarian guy]

The Obama Administration's insistence that drone strikes are being used in Pakistan to take out high-level al-Qaeda targets is utter nonsense.

We already knew that. It's just that now we have proof.

[The Late P Brooks]

For those who didn't realize that comic actor Jonathan Winters was still alive, he's dead at 87.

I want you all to watch The Loved One this weekend, in homage.

h/t Sevo

[Jack the Reaper]

He is Papa Smurf in the upcoming Smurfs II. Good on him for still doing what he loved all the way to the end.

Does he fill out the trifecta of deaths?

[A Serious Man]

I think so, in the last week we've had Ebert, Thatcher, and now Winters.

[Coeus]

Cops assault and arrest man for filming them with cellphone in San Diego.

Cop says it could be a weapon, grinning when he said it, like he'd found his golden ticket. Only problem is, dude was using a samsung galaxy, which anyone who's not mentally deffective can see is far too thin to hold a barrel.

[NeonCat]

It could have been a miniature Claymore which just looks like a Samsung Galaxy.

Or they were primitive animists and were afraid he was stealing their soul.

[Brandon]

I don't have sound at work. Did he tell them how adorable their little shorts were?

[Coeus]

In another cellphone video related item, guy takes a video of a beaver. Which then attacks and kills him.

[Anonymous Coward]

Guy tries to film beaver, gets killed.

That's why you never let them know you're filming.

[A Serious Man]

Must have been an Angry Beaver.

[Episiarch]

"Nice beaver."

[Generic Stranger]

If you are attacked and killed by an animal that is much smaller than you, you fail at life.

[JurisCani]

For those not wanting to give Gawker any traffic, via Phtography Is Not a Crime San Diego Police Attack and Arrest Man Video Recording Them, Claiming Phone Could be a Weapon (Updated)

[Killazontherun]

Actual conversation I had today. Aquintance walks up to me, asks out of the blue,
He. Do you believe in God?
Me. Could you clarify?
He. I thought I was pretty clear.
Me. You would. What are you looking for here?
He. Why are you dodging the question?
Me. I'm not. You asked an ambigious question. Does my opinion effect the existence of God one way or the other?
He. No, but that is not what I asked. You're just fucking with me.
Me. Do you believe in an all powerful God?
He. Of course.
Me. An inherent property if God truly exist?
He. You're point?
Me. Can God turn eight into a prime number?
He glares for a second and walks off.

[A Serious Man]

Can God make a square triangle?

[Killazontherun]

My God can because he is awesome like that. You're God can't though. He has to rely on blowing shit up like a common general to get his way.

[Xenocles]

In all seriousness, though, these sort of logical identity arguments don't impress me too much. If anything like God exists, it stands to reason that its understanding of the universe and ability to manipulate it far dwarfs ours.

These are cheap definitional tricks, nothing more.

[Killazontherun]

His inferred question was 'do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?' He couldn't give a damn about the question as he phrased it. I just wanted him to be more candid about what he was asking.

The question I asked goes to the definitive nature of God if such an entity is bound by material existence or it itself defines existence. I'm dissapointed in you that you didn't get that.

[Xenocles]

It's a serious counterargument I used to see on the atheist sites, that's all. Presumably "God" could alter history to make it so that we call squares triangles and such, but then we would be asking the opposite question oblivious to the miracle. This moves us to the realm of conspiracy theories, where any evidence backs up the hypothesis.

I like your aim better though.

[Xenocles]

Which god?

[Killazontherun]

I think he may actually been refering to a titan, like Chronic instead of a diety. He never clarified.
Oh, nice one spellcheck. That's Chronos, not chronic!

[Coeus]

I think he may actually been refering to a titan,

In that case, I give you permission to name drop me.

[Coeus]

If this is true, it is incredibly fucked up.

"I am appalled," said Steven Boibeaux, of Bristol. "It sounds to me like they are trying to indoctrinate our kids."
Boibeaux's son is an eighth grader at Northeast Middle School. On Monday his social studies teacher gave students a worksheet titled, 'The Second Amendment Today.'
"The courts have consistently determined that the Second Amendment does not ensure each individual the right to bear arms," the worksheet states. "The courts have never found a law regulating the private ownership of weapons unconstitutional.
The worksheet, published by Instructional Fair, goes on to say that the Second Amendment is not incorporated against the states.
"This means that the rights of this amendment are not extended to the individual citizens of the states," the worksheet reads. "So a person has no right to complain about a Second Amendment violation by state laws."
According to the document, the Second Amendment "only provides the right of a state to keep an armed National Guard."

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

As infuriating at is it, my main question is not answered by the article: is this just some incredibly out of date worksheet? Because that would not exactly surprise me. Of course, it helps that it doesn't challenge what the teacher probably thinks, but it also wouldn't shock me if it was correct when it was published.

[Anonymous Coward]

The worksheet, published by Instructional Fair, goes on to say that the Second Amendment is not incorporated against the states.

At best, erroneous. At worst, an outright lie.

McDonald v. Chicago

[Xenocles]

This is old news but I read an editorial like this in the Navy Times today while catching up. (Can't find this week's online.) Am I missing something? Did this guy not take a prisoner he was ordered to release and instead threaten him with summary execution? In what universe is it self-defense if you pull a gun on an unarmed man?

The NT was hysterical that the failed appeal would mean that soldiers would lose the right of self-defense... but since this guy killed a man who was defending himself I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. My mind is totally blown that he has such a following.

[The Late P Brooks]

"The courts have consistently determined that the Second Amendment does not ensure each individual the right to bear arms," the worksheet states. "The courts have never found a law regulating the private ownership of weapons unconstitutional.
The worksheet, published by Instructional Fair, goes on to say that the Second Amendment is not incorporated against the states.
"This means that the rights of this amendment are not extended to the individual citizens of the states," the worksheet reads. "So a person has no right to complain about a Second Amendment violation by state laws."
According to the document, the Second Amendment "only provides the right of a state to keep an armed National Guard."

"It's true because I'm your teacher, and I say it's true. Don't backsass, young man."

[Coeus]

It's way worse than just one teacher:

The worksheet, published by Instructional Fair, goes on to say that the Second Amendment is not incorporated against the states.

[Jack the Reaper]

If you lie while you are teaching, it isn't really a falsehood, because you're teaching...or something.

[The Late P Brooks]

Actually, if that Second Amendment handout was written prior to Heller, it might not have been completely wrong at that time. The part about SCOTUS admitting to an "individual right" for example.

But why the fuck would they still be using it? Aside from the obvious reasons, of course.

[Warty]

Incompetence, malice, laziness. I'd say 40%-10%-50%.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

It's amazing. It's wrong on practically every single point it makes. And it's not like this is mysterious, esoteric, hard to research stuff. Um, heller in the news much?

Granted, much/all of what it claims may have been true at some point in the past. However, this is critical stuff and there's no excuse for disseminating such blatantly outdated information on such an important topic.

[Stormy Dragon]

The same reason my American History textbook in high school in 1992 ended wondering if the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan was going to lead to resumption of the Cold War.

[WomSom]

Those folks seem to know which way is up.

http://www.AnonNow.tk