Drug War

Louisiana Police Claim Hakkens Said They Were "Taking a Journey to the Armageddon"


In response to overwhelming calls for information about the Florida couple who "abducted" their own children yesterday, the Slidell Police Department in Slidell, Louisiana, has issued a press release about the June 2012 arrest of Joshua Hakken and the confiscation of his children

In June of 2012, Joshua and Sharon Hakken were staying at a local hotel in Slidell. The Slidell Police Department was called in reference to a disturbance involving Mr. and Mrs. Hakken. When police arrived, both Mr. and Mrs. Hakken were acting in a bizarre manner that alarmed officers. They were talking about "completing their ultimate journey" and were traveling across the country to "take a journey to the Armageddon". Let it be noted that both of their children were present in the hotel room at the time.

Based off their behavior, and the fact that narcotics and weapons were located inside of the hotel room, officers contacted the Office of Child Services (OCS). OCS determined that the children were in danger and needed to be taken into custody by the State of Louisiana and temporarily placed in a foster home. Mr. Hakken was placed under arrest for Possession of Marijuana, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia, and the Use of a Controlled and Dangerous Substance in the Presence of Minors. Officers also took custody of several weapons for safe keeping.

Approximately two weeks later, Slidell Police were notified that Mr. Hakken had shown up to the foster family home (somewhere in Hammond, LA) with a firearm demanding the return of his children. The foster parents called 911, and Mr. Hakken fled without his children. We have heard nothing until yesterday. Slidell Police was contacted by the FBI and the authorities from Florida to inform us about the kidnapping. They requested any and all information that we had on the Hakken's.

I asked the Slidell Police Department for Hakken's arrest report, and was told that it's being kept private because Hakken's drug charges are still pending. As I noted in an update a few minutes ago, the Slidell Police Department says the claim that Hakken was arrested at an "anti-government rally" simply isn't true, and they don't know where it came from.

Earlier today, the Tampa Bay Times reported that Hakken uses the name "SailingBull" on various message boards (he owns a sailboat, and he's a graduate of USF, which has a bull mascot). After looking through nearly all of Hakken's 190+ posts on the Kel-Tec Owner's Group, I got the impression of a normal guy with libertarian/Tea Party leanings. He posted about opposing the death penalty, the war on drugs, and the Patriot Act; about loving his wife and sons; and about his enthusiasm for sailing, firearms, and building a new grill in their backyard. The "Armageddon" line is particularly confusing seeing as Hakken appears to be a member of secularhomeschool.com, where, in 2010, he described himself as an atheist: 

I definitely plan on teaching about different religions to my children when it comes up in context of other studies: i.e. history, social studies, geography, philosophy… Right now we're in the pre-preschool phase so I've got time.

As far as teaching the dogma of any particular religion, I will probably limit my teaching of that in context with what / why people believe and how it has / will affect the actions of people. 

Personally, I think every religion from Christianity to Athiesm is a plague. The notion that we can answer questions we have no knowledge base for is rediculous. While there may be redeeming lessons from a particular religion, most organized faiths have historically been used to shed personal responsibility while stripping the individual of personal rights and freedoms of it's congregation.
Religion does not teach moral value, the best it can accomplish is to coexist and not intrude on such values.

It's worth noting that law enforcement in Florida are painting the Hakkens as anti-government extremists at the same time police in Louisiana are describing them as death cultists. I suppose they could be both, but they could also be neither. 

Previous posts on the Hakkens, who are still at large, here and here

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  1. In other words, there’s no evidence of actual abuse or neglect of the children involved going on.

    I know people who had no-shit psychologically and physically abusive parents. My church deals with these folks quite regularly, and my wife teaches Sunday school and talks to them quite often. You know what? Even when the parents are legitimately bad parents who should have their children taken away from them, the kids still end up suffering enormously when they are told they can never see their biological parents again, and that they have to live with strangers for the rest of their lives.

    With abusive parents, it’s understandable and reasonable to say that this suffering is less than the abuse they would suffer if left with their parents. With non-abusive parents, there’s no reason a kid should be forced into that arrangement.

    1. “Mr. Hakken was placed under arrest for Possession of Marijuana, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia, and the Use of a Controlled and Dangerous Substance in the Presence of Minors.”

      This is why the feds will never acquiesce to weed legalization. Keeping it a schedule 1 controlled substance. It provides so much power. And fretting about someone in Louisiana having guns is down right laughable.

  2. I suspect the “Journey to the Armageddon” comment is little more than a stoned joke about the Mayan Apocalypse.

    1. That or a good bar.

    2. “Journey to the Armageddon”

      Were their First Amendment rights just violated?

    3. Probably had just watched an episode of Doomsday Preppers…

      1. And were laughing so hard about it’s misrepresentations of libertarians that the cops thought they were stoned.

  3. I got the impression of a normal guy with libertarian/Tea Party leanings. He posted about opposing the death penalty, the war on drugs, and the Patriot Act; about loving his wife and sons; and about his enthusiasm for sailing, firearms, and building a new grill in their backyard.

    Sounds like your research backs up the arrest and child seizure. And don’t get me started on the amount of warming caused by backyard grills.

    1. Warming is only a problem if you set the thing too close to the vinyl siding.

      1. You can’t not put the grill next to THE EARTH.

        1. “Now here’s what’s different about this my friends: it uses actual pieces of the sun, combined with some radioactive vials from Chernobyl, and I know this is interesting also to the ladies out there, it uses them to heat burgers, steaks, chicken; no problem. And, best of all, it’s not even supposed to be inside this country.”

  4. “the Slidell Police Department says the claim that Hakken was arrested at an “anti-government rally” simply isn’t true, and they don’t know where it came from.”

    Neither do we.

    1. ABC Action News (whose report I blogged yesterday):
      “According to earlier information, the couple lost custody of the two boys after attending an anti-government rally in Louisiana. The father was charged with possession of drugs in the presence of the children.”

      They originally wrote that as, “According to investigators…”

      1. Nice job ABC.

        1. Ever since ABC cancelled All-Star Anything Goes, it’s all been going down hill.

      2. Mike, have you talked to someone at ABC and gotten them to verify that they got this from SPD? Sounds like either SPD changed their story after the fact, or that ABC injected that info into the story on their own.

        1. Would it really surprise you if they just injected it. They ARE the 4th arm of the government after all.

        2. Yes, it would surprise me if they randomly injected it. It seems more likely that SPD changed their story and that ABC isn’t calling them on it.

          1. I don’t see why. Everytime there is an unknown killer at large they immediately begin fantasizing that it’s anti-government white-power teabaggerz.

          2. I phrased that poorly. Neither would really surprise me, but it seems more likely that they were just passing on what they were fed by the police. Never ascribe malice when laziness is a possible explanation.

      3. Probably some local police, CPS, or FBI “investigator” dropped a hint on background, something like “we think Hakken is an anti-government sort, the kind of guy who goes to Tea Party events”.

        That created such a buzz that the story evolved into an arrest at an anti-government rally.

        Now the commenters on progressive sites like TPM are expressing hopes that the kid will be rescued somehow and that the cops will Dornerize the parents.

  5. Here’s a question: did law enforcement take the time to *ask* Hakken what he meant by his statements, or did they take the kids before making sure?

    This whole situation weighs heavy on my mind.

    1. They took the kids because the kids observed him smoking dope. He might as well have practiced witchcraft in front of them.

      1. Actually, he’s have been better off as a wiccan than a dope smoker. Legally, that is.

      2. Yeah, I’ll remember not to walk around naked in front of a 1 year old too.
        Might be considered sexual abuse.

    2. Mine too. Things like this are why I do my utmost to avoid breaking the law. Don’t interact with the legal system at all, if possible.

  6. Tthese children will likely see their parents die at the hands of the police.

    1. Which is of course far preferable to exposing them to the demon weed.

      1. It’s also preferable to being raised by your loving biological parents… how clich

    2. I hope they don’t end up dying with them in the ever popular flaming house ending.

    3. These children are more likely to be killed by the father right before he kills their mother and then himself.

      1. Or at least that’s the story that will come out.

        1. I would not wager against you on that, Tonio. Sadly.

        2. There is an outside chance that he will kill the wife and kids and then go out guns blazing against the cops.

          1. That, too, Sparky.

          2. Only when they finally corner him… and then maybe he’ll give up. And he won’t kill his own kids.

      2. I wouldn’t be too shocked by that. But you have to wonder if any such thing would have come remotely close to being possible if the government hadn’t taken away his kids for a simple drug possession charge.

  7. “In June of 2012, Joshua and Sharon Hakken were staying at a local hotel in Slidell. The Slidell Police Department was called in reference to a disturbance involving Mr. and Mrs. Hakken.”

    A disturbance reported by who?

    1. Some do-gooder in the next hotel room probably smelled pot smoke and called the police.

      1. Wonder if there was a search warrant involved, since they don’t seem like the kind of people to voluntarily allow it

    2. Or the hotel owner, particularly if they’d been leaned on by the police before that.

  8. Look, it’s possible that these parents are complete and utter whackjobs who are dangerous to themselves, their children, and the world at large. But it would be nice to see some actual evidence of that, beyond the fact that they were libertarian or Tea Party types who smoked pot too much.

    1. “But it would be nice to see some actual evidence of that, beyond the fact that they were libertarian or Tea Party types who smoked pot too much.”

      Problem is, after they’re gone at the end of this episode, there will be only one side providing evidence.

      1. I sure hope it doesn’t play out that way, but with “anti-government” that and “the Armageddon” this, it’s not looking too good. Especially if the people are, in fact, nuts, but really, either way.

        1. So far, I see somewhat paranoid — but loving and non-abusive — parents. Evidence could come out that may convince me otherwise, but if not then the above description is nothing which should condemn parents and children to live estranged from one another through force of arms.

    2. smoked pot too much.

      How is this possible? Better research, and get back to ya.

      1. smoked pot too much

        That’s all it takes.

    3. Pro Lib nails it.

    4. This.

      I’ve seen people speculating that they were meth users. On no basis other than the thought that the government COULDN’T POSSIBLY have taken their kidsaway just because they smoked weed.

    1. Oh, too bad. I used to religiously watch Sneak Previews back in the day.

      1. You in that TV watching religion?

    2. was going to post that in the PM links.

    3. Good to see he finally got something right.

    4. I didn’t always agree with him, particularly when he started talking about politics, but he always seemed like a good guy.

      He’s also one of the few movie reviewers in recent memory who could really write. Most modern movie reviewers are terrible and don’t actually know how to effectively criticize something.

      Ebert was one of the few who really knew what he was doing.

    5. One thumb down.

  9. OT It s snowing here in NC in April. Every blovator of climate doom on this site owes me a personal apology. I put my heavy coats in the storage facility two weeks ago. Chad if you are still lurking or trolling, you fucking drive over there and bring my coat to the front desk so I ll have something to put on when I leave in a few hours. So pissed. I just want to crush the balls of every climate doomer who ever breathed air.

    1. This freakish weather is because of anthropogenic climate change!


  10. Considering no native speaker of English would say “the Armageddon”, what do you think he really said? I’m guessing he said, “We’re taking a journey to the Arm and Leg Inn” or something of that nature.

    1. Or he was telling a stoned joke.

      1. Maybe just singing along with the tv.

        I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
        And I yelled to the cabby “Yo, homes smell you later!”
        Took a journey to the Armageddon, I was finally there
        To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air

    2. The internet being the internet and all, the Hakkens may actually read this blog after doing a search.

      You guys should lawyer up and turn yourselves in before you end up dead with your killers writing the narrative.

      1. You guys should lawyer up and turn yourselves in before you end up dead with your killers writing the narrative.

        No shit. Lon Horiuchi is already masturbating with glee at the thought of yet another chance at murder.

        1. Excellent Ruby Ridge tie-in.

      2. Yes, if they decide to turn themselves in, they should definitely get a lawyer to arrange their public surrender. That’s just good sense.

        1. Remember that woman who was caught on tape a few years ago slapping her kid outside a Walmart, where she’d tried to return some stolen merchandise?

          Turns out she was a member of the elusive “irish traveller” community. Basically irish gypsies that live in insular underground communities.

          When police were looking for her, she basically drove a few states over, and deposited her kids with relatives within the community, in a secret enclave, and then turned herself in. She wouldn’t tell the police who had them or where they were, just that she’d given them to relatives. As far as I know, the government never got them. The whole community is basically criminal, so they wouldn’t talk to the cops.

          That’s what this guy should do. Deposit his wife and kids with some obscure anti-government group. Religious if need be. Maybe a cult of Mormon polygamists who won’t say shit to anyone about where they are. Then turn himself in.

      3. I presume that they’d be too busy doing other things, but I’ve never been in that situation, so am just guessing.

    3. Shhh, definite article are the cool right now. They’re just very the hip.

        1. What and fuck?

          1. Why do you hate ‘the’? Is it because it’s black?

            1. I think it’s pretty clearly a race issue. Maybe Gillmore killed GILMORE and is wearing his handle now.

  11. If the government took away my children for the “crime” of smoking some pot, I’d be accurately described as anti-government too.

  12. All criminals lie and change their stories. Why would we expect these “Slidell PD” gang-bangers to be any different than their spiritual siblings in MS13, the Crips or the Aryan Brotherhood?

  13. I would like to see this couple successfully disappear and then have their kids magically show up healthy and normal in Canada when they are 18. The message of illegitimacy and impotence of government power would really piss off the establishment.

    1. No one will remember this incident in 3 months, let alone a dozen years.

  14. When you type in the family name and slidell, LA, June 2012 you get the link to Northshore Harbor center Gun and Knife show. That could explain why the family had a gun and knife in the room–not that it is illegal anyway…

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