Students Fighting to Overturn Dodgeball Ban, Marijuana Tourism Company Launches in Colorado, Mom Claims NYPD Officers Pepper-Sprayed Her Kids: P.M. Links

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Credit: w:User:Jeffness / Foter.com / CC BY-SA
  • Students in Windham, N.H. are trying to overturn a ban on dodgeball. The local school committee voted to ban dodgeball and other "target" sports, saying that they promote bullying. 
  • A mother claims that NYPD officers pepper-sprayed her children because they thought she was trying to avoid a fare for the subway. 
  • A Syrian opposition leader has said that France and the U.K., not the U.S., are the rebels' best hope for support.
  • Arkansas State Fusion Center Director Richard Davis has said that fusion centers only spy on Americans with "anti-government" sympathies. 

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  1. Arkansas State Fusion Center Director Richard Davis has said that fusion centers only spy on Americans with “anti-government” sympathies.

    At least they’re probably not racially profiling.

    1. Then why do they have “Black helicopters”?

      1. Black things are scarier, that’s why.

        We should have just painted all AR-15s magenta, and then the progs would accept that they are not so bad.

    2. How do you make anti-government freeze?

      Sequester her nightgown!

      1. GUARDS! SEIZE TIM!

    3. I guess I’m on the list. It’s more than sympathy though.

    4. So they only spy on you if they think you’ve done something they don’t like. That’s reassuring.

      1. If you think you haven’t done anything you think they think they don’t like, you have nothing to fear.

      2. It’s even worse.

        They only spy on you if you think something they don’t like.

        1. They only spy on you if they think you think something they don’t like.

  2. http://blog.al.com/wire/2013/0…..er_default

    The Alabama church lobby is conceding on the homebrew issue.

    1. 15 gallon limit per 3 months.

      Oh, no, cant be simple and just go with the federal limit of 100 gallons per year.

      Better that than nothing, but its a silly “compromise” without a point that I can figure.

      1. Oh, no, cant be simple and just go with the federal limit of 100 gallons per year.

        Better that than nothing, but its a silly “compromise” without a point that I can figure.

        Because FY,TW?

      2. Some teetotaler determined that no self-respecting family man would consume more than 2 beers per night.

        1. Does he not have friends?

        2. It’s because some sinister fool, probably who’s a commenter on a Libertarian blog, will save up the entire 15 gallons to drink at one sitting, turn into a monster, and go on a cross country rampage of rape and drinking the blood of childins.

          1. I think you just described a typical Saturday night for Warty.

          2. What cheese would you pair with the blood of childins?

              1. Only if they’re anemic. The cows, not the childin.

              2. Sorry, fresh out.

            1. Dubliner?

    2. Finally. Good grief, Alabama.

      Here’s my first attempt at a 5-gallon IBA (very basic recipe):

      10# 2-row American
      1# midnight wheat
      1# blackprinz

      1oz magnum 60min
      1oz palisade 10min
      2oz willamette 5min
      2oz summit leaf dry 7-14 days

      Denny’s Fav 50

      At the same time I’ll be brewing up a 10-gallon IPA. Hopfest 2013!

      1. That seems like more dark malt than necessary.

        I probably would have used regular wheat, I would think the Blackprinz would have been enough color.

        But, either way, still looks tasty. Is the Denny a Denny Conn reference? If so, I take back any criticism of the recipe, he usually knows his stuff.

        Any rough idea on IBUs?

        1. Right, there are plenty of IBAs out there now and I like the ones w/ a little more roast the best. It’s probably an acquired taste. I had Peak’s Hop Noir on tap in Maine last week and it was fucking awesome.

          The IBU calculator puts it at 67.

          WY1450 is apparently named after Conn. The recipe is mine.

          How’s the brewery progressing?

          1. 1. If its roasty, isnt is just a stout?

            I know, I know, this is a common argument, but really, most CDAs (my preferred acronym) really veer into the territory of some other style.

            2. Ah, I didnt realize that was the yeast, that makes sense.

            3. Slowly, but I am about 1 week away from the point of no return on financing. I should have that wrapped up, if not actually in my grubby hands by the end of this week. If so, stuff really starts happening…finally.

            1. At least it’s not chocolatey.

              The PNW is going to lose its hop monopoly. Not this decade, but eventually. Then no one will be calling it a Cascadian Dark Ale.
              http://nchops.soil.ncsu.edu/

              Are you considering kickstarter? This guy did and got enough to lager.
              http://www.kickstarter.com/pro…..brew-works

              1. No to kickstarter.

                Im targeting a much larger number. Heck, Im personally putting in much more than he has received.

      2. Tomorrow I’m getting started on my 2nd brew. Doing Austin Homebrew’s Cantankerous Ale extract kit. Kinda curious to see how it turns out, they list it at 142 IBUs. I don’t even know if it will be palatable. But I guess that’s the fun of homebrew, trying new things and seeing what happens.

        Also, have 2 better bottles on the way. Going to make a hefe in one, and set the other aside for a batch of apfelwien.

  3. Obama’s approval rating is at a 16-month low.

    What does he care? He’s not up for re-election.

    1. So they’d like you to think.

      1. What are you going to give me when the next calls for repealing the 22nd Amendment come?

        1. Scorn and defiance; slight regard, contempt,
          And any thing that may not misbecome
          The mighty sender, doth he prize you at.
          Thus says my king; an’ if your father’s highness
          Do not, in grant of all demands at large,
          Sweeten the bitter mock you sent his majesty,
          He’ll call you to so hot an answer of it,
          That caves and womby vaultages of France
          Shall chide your trespass and return your mock
          In second accent of his ordnance.

          1. You know I don’t do non-Roman Shakespeare, ProL. Try harder.

            1. Let me have men about me that are fat;
              Sleek-headed men and such as sleep o’ nights:
              Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
              He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.

              1. I was looking more for a “have we no WINE here?!?” You’re always a disappointment, ProL, just like nicole.

                1. Very well:

                  Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done?
                  Aaron: That which thou canst not undo.
                  Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother.
                  Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.

  4. I’m amazed that anyone in this country approves of Obama at all. He’s quickly passing Worst President in U.S. History and heading for Worst Leader in North American History.

    1. I still wonder how he got reelected. His poll numbers were only up during election season and collapsed immediately thereafter.

      I’m calling it… SHENANIGANS!

      1. I still wonder how he got reelected.

        Elections are like bear attacks. You don’t have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun the other guy.

  5. What the hell are “target sports”?

    1. Anything fun.

      1. Like smear the queer?

        1. No, that’s just gay.

          1. Stop acting like fags and play dodgeball!

            1. Hey! Some of us like dodgeball AND happen to be homo-Americans.

              1. I fucking ruled in dodgeball.

                I was usually the last one out on my team, until I threw the ball and the other team caught it.

            2. Dodgeball was unfortunately banned at my high school after I was hit in the head with a ball and my eye was bleeding and stuff. (It’s hard to see the ball coming when there are 4 or 5 of them in the game and your team is losing and you’re outnumbered. Plus we were using volleyballs along with the bigger round red balls.)

              It turned out to be not that serious and I recovered after a couple days in the hospital. My parents never mentioned trying to sue the school, I guess because I could still see afterward.

              The funny thing is we moved to a new school the next year, and they still had dodgeball, along with redneck tackle versions of pretty much every other gym game, including basketball. It was fun.

              1. We used to play with beanbags. Don’t know why, but it was fun.

      2. You know, it wasn’t all that long ago that people thought we were heading towards full-blown gladiatorial games. Now we’re banning dodge ball. What happened?

        1. Star Trek can’t be right about everything.

          1. YES IT CAN.

          2. We must fight to the death, or they will kill us both, Jim.

            Now come back here, so that I may brain thee!

            1. “Death, destruction, disease, horror. That’s what dodgeball is all about, Anan. That’s what makes it a thing to be avoided.”

              1. “I’m going to end it for you…one way, or another.”

                (whips ball at FoE’s head)

              2. They should redo that entire episode but make it about dodgeball.

                “A tosser first, a catcher second. A hurler, a pitcher. And let’s be honest, a murderer. That is our joint heritage, is it not?”

                1. “Bones, did you ever hear of a dodgeball machine?”
                  “No. I’m a doctor, not a gym teacher.”

                  1. KIRK: It’s a game designed primarily as a bluff. It’s never meant to be played. So strong, it could destroy both sides in a game. Something like the old H-Bomb was supposed to be. That’s what I think this is. A dodgeball machine that somebody used in a game uncounted years ago. They don’t exist anymore, but the machine is still destroying.

                    1. DON’T YOU EVER PERVERT “THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE” INTO SOMETHING ELSE. It’s the perfect hour of episodic television.

                    2. It’s better than 12 of the movies and all of NextGen-Enterprise.

                2. “We can admit that we’re throwers, but we’re not going to throw today. That’s all it takes.”

                  1. Report to Indoctrination Chamber 12.

                    1. “Welts have been registered. Of course they have twenty four hours to report.”

              3. “That’s what dodgeball is all about,”

                Begins with a D and that rhymes with T and that spells TROUBLE right here in River City!

                1. Picard: May the dodge be with you!

        2. Hysterical helicopter heirmakers?

        3. We got in touch with our feminine side.

          Pretty soon, NFL will be touch only, and players will get ejected for saying mean things to each other. 75k fine for calling another player, poopey head.

          Then when NFLs audience is down equal to MSNBC, they won’t be able to figure out what happened.

          1. They’ll blame XFL.

            1. And lobby to have it banned so people will be forced to watch again.

              1. Even if all non-pussified football is forcibly suppressed in the US, there’s still the possibility of the CFL avoiding it.

          2. And they’ll replace the ball with a balloon. And all the players will wear bras and hug each other while complimenting each other. Yeah, that’ll be a GREAT idea…

        4. MMA and UFC are pretty close. Professional athletes trying to kill each other for money is okay (except in the NFL, where they’re afraid the players will sue them). Targeting “our dear, precious children” is out.

          1. Oh, bullshit. UFC is safer than boxing.

            1. THIS.

              Someone arm bars are more dangerous than punches to the head.

              1. Someone arm bars are more dangerous than punches to the head.

                This reads like you’ve taken too many punches to the head.

            2. Look, I love MMA, but there’s no way it’s safer than boxing. Boxers don’t jump on a guy who’s just hit the floor and keep pounding ’til the ref pulls them off.

              1. It would be interesting to see any coorelating studies on brain trauma between boxing, football, and MMA. MP’s point is well-taken, but on the aggregate I’d be willing to bet the cumulative damage is lower over time simply because they only do 3-5 rounds.

                1. Plus alot of MMA fights end in a tap-out as opposed to a KO. Not nearly the same thing.

                2. I think some studies have been done, but there isnt enough long term data on MMA yet.

              2. No. They back off for the standing eight so that the opponent can clear his head long enough to get hit some more on his feet. And who knows, maybe fight several more rounds with a concussion. Also, 3 five-minute rounds is safer than 12 three-minute rounds.

              3. In boxing, after you get knocked senseless to the point that you can’t stand anymore, they let you compose yourself for a moment and go at it again. MMA is safer than boxing.

    2. You know, like horseshoes n’ stuff.

      1. Right. Note the close relationship between horseshoes and hand grenades.

        1. Made me wonder…do you toss dwarves at targets or is that just like a shot put thing?

          1. Hell if I know. Of course, somewhere here does know. They always do, even when they don’t.

            1. Especially if they don’t.

          2. I believe it was just for distance.

            I havent actually seen it since the 80s.

          3. Nobody tosses a Dwarf!

    3. What the hell are “target sports”?

      Attempts at anal after many many cocktails.

  6. Obama’s approval rating is at a 16-month low.

    The sequester cutting funding to the Ministry of Propaganda? Or people not thrilled watching him take three vacays in as many months when families can’t take any all year?

    1. All year? As in a vacation every year? Must be nice to be part of the bourgeoisie.

      1. I suppose lack of employment is like a year-long vacation.

  7. Two Colorado-based entrepreneurs have launched the country’s first marijuana tourism company

    Looking forward to the first lawsuit by another state, over CO causing one of their biological resources to get hooked on the devils weed and become unproductive. Lost revenue, can’t have that.

    1. Good luck to ’em, but I don’t see why someone wouldn’t just go to Denver and buy some.

    2. It’s true I heard Rand Paul opine nearly the same thing the other day.

  8. A Syrian opposition leader has said that France and the U.K., not the U.S., are the rebels’ best hope for support.

    Isn’t that the same as saying the U.S.?

    1. This can only mean that they think France and UK are even dumber than us.

    2. F and UK? All they need now is… Canada.

      1. Why not we’ve been between them forever it seems.

  9. http://www.avclub.com/articles…..olo,95856/

    17 solo albums that effectively doomed bands.

    1. They should just call that list “17 shit bands”. There’s nothing good in there, so the shittiness probably just caused the solo albums.

        1. Yeah, fuck Sting.

          I misunderstood the title of the article anyhoo = I thought it was going to be *shitty* solo albums which destroyed *decent* bands

          More like ‘average bands’ left in dust by Superstar talent.

          Except the police. Fuck Sting.

          1. It was that Feyd-Rautha business that messed him up.

            1. A curse upon that film adaptation. No, three curses!

              Not quite as wretched as the Starship Troopers adaptation, but close.

              1. You’re obviously just incapable of recognizing the mad skillz of David Lynch and Paul Verhoeven. That’s OK, nobody expects taste from a Kes-lover.

                1. I like David Lynch in his element; ditto Veerhoven. Asking them to do Dune is like asking Tarantino to do a Star Wars movie.

                  (Although maybe Chapterhouse or Heretics would have been good as a Lynch film.)

                  1. Maybe HBO could do the whole series. The Frank Herbert series, that is.

                    1. At least the first four books. The last two were… iffy.

                    2. Good enough for TV. And more sex for HBO.

          2. I saw 10000 Maniacs post-Merchant.

            They were just as good without her.

            It was a free concert and I wouldnt pay to see them, so, yeah, still kind of shitty.

            Also, Fuck Sting.

      1. The article way undersells the impact.

        Some of those albums effectively doomed music.

    2. NWA’s post-Ice Cube album “Efil4zaggin”, while not as classic as “Straight Outta Compton”, was still better than 95% of modern hip hop.

  10. when a civilian kills a member of the state it always gets its panties in a knot, but when the state kills a civilian its business as usual.

    http://theweek.com/article/ind…..rosecutors

    1. An attack on the king’s men is an attack on the king himself.

    2. Murder is murder. Outrage is justified.

  11. Let’s blow feminism’s cover

    Apparently that translates to:

    While we absolutely need Gender Studies at the university level, this should not be the first place that folks have access to feminist ideologies. It’s bad enough that Gender Studies programs have to be sought out on many campuses and incite blank stares from folks who want to know, “What kind of job can you get with that?”

    When I did my Feministing Five interview, I talked about how the lack of access to the language and concepts of feminism is one of its greatest challenges. The internet has changed the way and frequency with which we exchange information, and is helping feminism reach more folks in ways that are relatable to them. But we need to continue to push feminism in elementary and high schools.

    1. Hey, no pushing! That’s worse than dodgeball!

    2. Because what we really need in this economy is to funnel money into things that are proven to lower your worth to an employer, especially if you’re a woman.

      Someone who gives me a resume with Gender Studies on it is telling me that they don’t take me or themselves seriously, and that they’ll raise hell over the smallest provocation.

      1. Someone who gives me a resume with Gender Studies on it is telling me that they don’t take me or themselves seriously, and that they’ll raise hell over the smallest provocation.

        In other words, your average HR rep.

      2. Someone who gives me a resume with Gender Studies on it is telling me that they don’t take me or themselves seriously

        I would think that would indicate that they take themselves WAY to fucking seriously. You, no, they don’t take you seriously. Especially if you’re a white male. In fact they’ve been conditioned to immediately identify you as “the enemy”: a member of the priveledged white male dominated patriarchy.

      3. I object to that!

        They take themselves very seriously.

    3. Gender Studies programs have to be sought out on many campuses and incite blank stares from folks who want to know, “What kind of job can you get with that?”

      Imagine if people were actually asking that question when they chose their major!

      (full disclosure: I was a history major, so I know what I’m talking about)

      1. At least with history you actually learn something, jesse.

        1. You learn that you need to major in something else if you want to get a job?

          1. No, you have to go to graduate school to learn that.

          2. ^ This. I’ve never met an employer that cares about my knowledge of the Hausmannization of Paris or its effects on the history of French rioting.

      2. If you studied real history, the government should hire you immediately and pay you whatever you want. Because none of them seem to have a clue about it.

        1. OTOH, there have been many “historical” and “unprecedented” events recently.

          1. So that was due to ignorance of history? And here I thought is was lack of vocabulary. I thought Obama just didn’t understand the meaning of the words historical and unprecedented/

        2. I approve this message. Please lobby your representative appropriately.

        3. Or, they want to lock up in contracts all those who have a damn clue about history?

      3. Same here, with the history major. ‘course, I majored in other things too… but they were even worse for getting me a job.

    4. Studies programs have to be sought out on many campuses and incite blank stares from folks who want to know, “What kind of job can you get with that?”

      What’s the answer to that question?

      1. “You want fries with that?”

    5. “But we need to continue to push feminism in elementary and high schools.”

      So what’s the plan there? Lower the self-esteem of boys relative to girls so it corresponds to their lower school performance? Yay, equality!

      1. Boys get worse grades because stereotypes say they have to be stupid because of the patriarchy.

  12. NYPD officers pepper-sprayed three little children, including 2-year- and 5-month old babies, because they thought the kids’ mom jumped a subway fare

    Oh well that makes sense.

    1. Did they go to their residence and shoot the dog?

  13. After claiming that his office ‘absolutely’ does not spy on Americans, he proceeded to explain that this does not apply to those who could be interpreted as a ‘threat’ to national security. Davis said his office places its focus on international plots, “domestic terrorism and certain groups that are anti-government. We want to kind of take a look at that and receive that information.”

    No REAL American would ever oppose the government. You are a REAL American, aren’t you?

    1. *Cue Team America theme song*

    2. When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside,
      ya’ gotta take a stand, it don’t help to hide,
      Well, you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
      I gotta be a man; I can’t let it slide,
      I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
      I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!

      I feel strong about right and wrong,
      And I don’t take trouble for very long,
      I got something deep inside of me, and courage is the thing that keeps us free,
      I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
      I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!

      Well you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
      I gotta be a man; I can’t let it slide,
      I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
      I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!
      I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
      I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!

      1. I have that on vinyl still. Grab Them Cakes is always a hit at parties.

    3. You mean like Patrick Henry, Samuel Adams, George Mason and Thomas Jefferson? Why yes, I am a REAL American.

      1. They weren’t REAL Americans because they were racist, misogynistic, slaveowners, not like our glorious Dear Leader Barry.

        1. It’s Barack I. “Barry” is his slave name!

  14. The school committee recently voted 4-1 to eliminte [sic] the game and other “target” sports from schools on the premise that they promote bullying.

    If these people were serious, they’d vote to eliminte *talking*. That shit *really* promotes bullying.

    1. I’d vote to eliminate schools.

      1. Then the only bullying would be sibling-to-sibling, as God intended.

  15. Can’t remember if it was posted here already, but reddit had a greatest Simpsons quotes thread:
    http://www.reddit.com/r/AskRed….._simpsons/

    In addition to Homer, I find myself quoting Lionel Hutz quite frequently…

    1. In addition to Homer, I find myself quoting Lionel Hutz quite frequently…

      I’m more of a Heroditus, Virgil, Cicero guy…

      I think the line I laughed hardest at was when the Luddite mob destroys the local Robotics factory, and one rolls out droning, “WHY, WHY, WHY WAS I PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PAIN??”

      1. One of my favorites (though not necessarily the funniest) is
        “In the interest of creating an open dialogue, sit quietly and watch this film!”

        The entire Lisa the Vegetarian episode is pure gold.

        God, do they suck now! It should have ended a decade ago.

    2. The best Simpsons quote:

      Homer: “Why must life be so hard?! Why must I fail in every attempt at masonry?!”

      OK, there are loads of other great ones, but that one really sticks with me.

    1. Clearly Federal intervention is called for.

      1. My money is on North Dakota.

    2. Wait a second. I thought the country as a whole was male-dominated, which is why we have all of the racism, sexism, meanness, bad economic conditions, war, etc.

      1. Yeah, but ND is worse, because not too many women want to work 14 hours a day around dangerous machinery, outside in sub zero temperatures.

        The only cure is to find those women who do want to work at those jobs, and mandate them, relevant skills or no.

        1. I saw some show at my brother’s house about a guy living in a van (for a while) while getting a job up there. Living in those conditions while making $50K/year, too. They mentioned a 2:1 ratio of men to women.

          1. Yeah, I’ve read several stories about the same.

            Harsh conditions and they can’t keep up with housing demands, so rent and purchase prices are out of reach for almost everyone.

            Lots of guys leaving the family behind, trying to earn some money because there are no jobs at home. Trying to save their homes, and whatever else they have left.

            But shame on them for doing that, instead of getting on the government dole like they’re supposed to. They’re hurting equality, that’s what’s really important, after all.

            1. I did wonder why the guy didn’t buy an RV out of town (where they’d be cheaper) and live in it. He eventually picked up a camper, but it was a piece of junk.

    3. ” A woman in Williston, North Dakota is four times more likely to report being forcibly raped than a woman living in Los Angeles and over seven times more likely than a woman residing in New York City. Williston’s per capita rape rate is higher than that of any of the 214 US cities with a population of over 100,000 residents, including Detroit, Chicago and New Orleans, cities usually regarded as among the nation’s most dangerous places….”

      Hmm.

      Where does Warty live again?

    4. Pretty much indistinguishable from an article from The Onion. Except this one is apparently written by a middle-schooler.

      I like how they managed to work in the “ugly dirty oil is bad” angle too. Would have awarded extra points if they worked in a comparison to how the oil industry is raping Mother Earth, though.

      1. a) Rape capitol of USA
        b) Restrictive abortion laws
        c) Unsympathetic to Indians
        d) Tolerant of Guns

        DYSTOPIA

        1. Guns in church, no less! Sounds like a case of bitter clingers to me.

          1. And don’t forget, some of the women who have braved going there, are making money by … I know this is horrible, so don’t read on if you are not really strong… by.. COOKING FOR THE MEN! THE HORROR!!! MISOGYNY APOCALYPSE!!!

      2. It’s oil acquired by fracking, too.

        1. MEGADYSTOPIA!!!

          1. I’m surprised we haven’t nuked the place yet. It’s not really in America, right?

            1. It’s on the border with Canuckistan, so I say just nuke it and maybe we’ll get some of those dirty Canucks with the fallout, as a bonus. If the winds blowin in the right direction…

    5. For North Dakota women, the booming state is becoming a dystopian nightmare rather than a job seeker’s utopian paradise. Rapes and assaults have multiplied in frequency at an alarming rate and Williston has begun to resemble more a 19th century Wild West town than a modern twenty-first century city. With a rate of over one hundred rapes per 100,000 residents, Williston now has a rape rate that is nearly four times the national average. A woman in Williston, North Dakota is four times more likely to report being forcibly raped than a woman living in Los Angeles and over seven times more likely than a woman residing in New York City. Williston’s per capita rape rate is higher than that of any of the 214 US cities with a population of over 100,000 residents, including Detroit, Chicago and New Orleans, cities usually regarded as among the nation’s most dangerous places.

      Cute little bit of statistical manipulation, but the grand total of rapes in Williston was 15. New York’s rape count? 1,092.

      Mr. Darling-Brekhus should try a bit harder.

      1. Yeah, I thought comparing Williston to cities over 100k to be inappropriate.

        Its clearly bad, but how many over micropolitan areas have higher rates?

        1. s/many over/many other/

      2. New York’s rape count? 1,092.

        a) BUT BUT BUT PER CAPITA!!! DERP!!

        b) Those NY rapes are of blacks on blacks, which is caused by White Oppression, which is understandable.

        Also, you are not factoring in the Earth-Raping, which is 1000x worse than People-Raping.

        1. Innocent Canuckistanians can now light their water on fire.

      3. Perhaps they should take a cue from old West towns and build a few brothels.

        1. Happy RVs… It’s in the works just calm down player

      4. The sad part is, there aren’t 15 fuckable women in Williston. So some gals got it twice.

      5. It’s also monstrously stupid because the vast majority of the rapes in New York occur in specific communities. If you’re an affluent white New Yorker, your odds of being raped are staggeringly low.

        Low income black or Hispanic? I guarantee you those parts of New York have higher rape rates than Williston.

    6. Well, boom towns do tend to have various social problems, and too many men/not enough women is definitely one of them. Somehow I doubt that the article (which I am not going to read) proposes any realistic solutions.

      1. too many men/not enough women

        Not seeing a downside.

        1. Hmm. Excuse my heteronormativity. Perhaps what they really need is many more gay oil field workers.

          1. Oh STARZ! I have a fabulous idea for a new Original Series.

            jesse, you can help in the casting decisions.

            1. you can help in the casting decisions

              I’m in, but we all know that it’s going to be Joseph Gordon-Levitt and James Franco because those two can’t help but wedge themselves into every movie about gay people ever.

          2. I’ll just leave this here.

          3. Perhaps what they really need is many more gay oil field workers.

            Lots of stories in my company of walking in on Indians banging on the rig when it’s being outfitted. So you should start there.

      2. Alberta seemed to figure this out by attracting plenty of out-of-town/-province strippers and whores, despite the hideous weather and extremely remote locations of the oil sands sites. Demand, how does it work?

        1. Maybe there’s a whore shortage in the U.S. because of this export industry?

        2. Already covered

          Kit, a 36-year old stripper who has been dancing for 10 years in places like Las Vegas, Texas and California, first started coming to Williston a few years ago in between higher-paying jobs, because she had friends who danced in the town who were able to hook her up with gigs.

          At first, the nightly tips were nothing special, but over the past year — thanks to the thousands of men who have flocked here and landed high-paying jobs — she has been making $2,000 to $3,000 a night, about the same amount she would have earned in an entire week in Vegas.

          “We make more than doctors,” she said. “Back in the day, it was hard to make $200 a night. It was like pulling teeth. Now you can pull in $2,000 a night.”

          1. More than doctors. Perhaps people with shitty degrees should turn to this lucrative profession. Lord knows the world loves American strippers.

            1. “A teacher? Honey, strippers make twice that money.”

          2. ND, fracking and fucking frontier.

    7. A woman in Williston, North Dakota is four times more likely to report being forcibly raped than a woman living in Los Angeles and over seven times more likely than a woman residing in New York City.

      The key word being report. The author clearly intended to imply that women in Williston, ND are 4 times more likely to be raped than women in LA and 7 times more likely than women in NY, but that’s not necessarily the case. What if the actual incidence of rape isn’t that much higher but they’re just more likely to actually report it than women in LA or NY?

      There’s not nearly enough information to reach the conclusion the author wants us to reach. Of course that won’t stop good little proggies and gender studies students from conluding that ND is some kind of nightmarish hellscape for anyone unlicky enough to have a vagina.

  16. Guy @ Forbes tears David Stockman’s recent economic analysis Op-Ed in the NYT to bleeding shreds =

    “…A relatively short article couldn’t possibly do justice to all the falsehoods within Stockman’s polemic, but this one will try…

    …Underlying the above horror promoted by Stockman is the belief that the best way to stimulate economic activity is for opposing countries to erect barriers to trade wrought by armed conflict, have their military forces exterminate one another, kill potential customers for their respective commercial sectors through indiscriminate bombing, and generally destroy wealth rather than engage in wealth enhancing exchange. Applying this illogic on a more local basis, the U.S. could outlaw recessions simply by dynamiting an American city each time unemployment bubbles up, and then employ an army of the formerly jobless to rebuild that which was leveled. Stockman should know better….”

    Worth reading. Its basically a takedown of the conventional progressive economic wisdom

    1. Whoops fergot the link

      http://www.forbes.com/sites/jo…..-analysis/

  17. So… no anarchy thread, then?

    We’ve already had an abortion thread and a gays thread, I figured Reason would go for the triple threat. Oh, well.

    1. You like deep dish pizza, don’t you. When’s the last time you watched a Michael Bay movie? Your love of Janeway sickens me.

      1. There’s also the waffles vs. pancakes debate, which hasn’t been raised in a while.

        1. That’s not even a debate, because pancakes win. Every time.

          1. No, it’s a trick question. The answer is bacon wins.

            1. Turkey bacon?

              1. Dude, TOO FAR.

              2. Turkey bacon only wins if it is deep fried turkey wrapped in smokey black forest bacon…

                /homer simpson drool sound

              3. There is no such thing as turkey bacon. Bacon comes from a pig.

                1. this

                  1. to Zeb…squirrels.

                    salted turkey slices are not bacon.

                    1. what the? doesn’t reply to this work anymore?

            2. Someone at work floated the idea of bacon smores today…

        2. b/c waffles are superior. this is an issue?

          1. LIAR! Pancakes are the superior quick bread!

        3. French Toast. Preferably using cinnamon roll slices instead of bread.

      2. I confess to having eaten a piece of Domino’s pizza while my wife was watching Voyager in the other room, but you go too far with that, sir.

        By the by, can we all agree that the actress who played Kes was more attractive than Jeri Ryan?

        1. (physically retrains self from attacking TIT)

          So you really want to make this nasty, huh? Which is your favorite Michael Bay movie? All of them, right?

          1. I favor the ones starring Shia LaBeouf and his somewhat more lifelike robot co-stars.

            1. Then I bet your favorite Indiana Jones movie is the fourth one, too.

              1. Hell yes. Granted, Shia doesn’t quite light up the screen like Hayden Christensen, but he was more entertaining than washed-up guys like Harrison Ford.

                1. Hayden really is the dreamiest, isn’t he. In all the roles he’s done outside of Star Wars, I like Phantom Menace the most.

                  1. Was he in the Phantom Menace? There were so many sparkling performances and great characterizations on display, I found it hard to notice him. The Anakin-Jar Jar scenes were all cinematic gold, but it’s understandable that a young actor like Hayden might go unnoticed compared to the veteran thespian on display.

                    1. They should remake Jaws, directed by Uwe Boll, and put Hayden in the Robert Shaw role. What a performance that would be!

                    2. Throw out John Williams’ completely over-played theme and replace the theme with an original Celine Dion title track. That should do it.

                    3. Dude, we are on fire today. We should start coming up with Adam Sandler movie ideas.

                    4. …Adam Sandler movie ideas.

                      Half-retard takes interest in obscure sport to save orphanage.

                      Man-child romantically pursues sassy veterinarian while saving animal shelter.

                      Three grown men with anger issues learn to cooperate while saving historic firehouse.

                      Half-retard from the Big City takes over his Uncle’s failing small town diner and falls for a sassy mechanic.

                      I got more if you need some.

                    5. Three grown men with anger issues learn to cooperate while saving historic firehouse.

                      Oh God, now I’m picturing Adam Sandler teaming up with Will Ferrel and Ben Stiller to make a three stooges movie.

                    6. My gawd, I really hope you just made that all up. Although, coming from Hollywood, it’s exactly what we all should expect.

                    7. Was he in the Phantom Menace? There were so many sparkling performances and great characterizations on display, I found it hard to notice him. The Anakin-Jar Jar scenes were all cinematic gold, but it’s understandable that a young actor like Hayden might go unnoticed compared to the veteran thespian on display.

                      There is so much wrong with everything you just wrote there’s no way for me to create an accurate rebuttal. It’s like an impenetrable dome of insanity.

                    8. Then we have succeeded in our goal.

                    9. I’ve got one for the Sandler genre:

                      A club of freaks of nature works together to stop the Statue of Liberty from being destroyed. Along the way, they have plenty of wacky hijinx and learn the value of friendship.

                      Oh wait, that’s the plot of Bryan Singer’s X-Men. Damn.

        2. I can agree that Kes isn’t responsible for destroying America, unlike Jeri Ryan.

          1. Dude, it’s not her fault. If you aren’t satisfied with being married to Seven of Nine you are probably beyond hope.

            1. In the sense that it wasn’t her intended result, true. But would it have hurt her to trash her morals for the well-being of America?

            2. He was satisfied. He just wanted to brag but banging her in public.

              1. He was satisfied. He just wanted to brag but banging her in public.

                While I don’t condone the behavior, I understand the impulse.

        3. By the by, can we all agree that the actress who played Kes was more attractive than Jeri Ryan?

          Yes, yes we do.

    2. How about easing into it with a circumcision thread?

      1. I dunno, I just got done with my 20th sexual conquest of a nubile, fertile woman. Domesticating the poor dears really takes it out of me, as does a thread about PUAs.

        1. Only 20? I hope you mean this week, otherwise I smell a beta.

          1. Today, you pussy.

            Sorry that you aren’t alpha enough to get that from the context.

            1. I’ve been shamed by your superior bull alpha-ness. I will resign myself to beta-ness and go raise children that have been fathered by other alphas.

              1. You joke, but that shit is rampant in the IT industry.

                1. Wow, really? That’s pathetic.

  18. Remember how we at Reason had yet another thread on the homoz? Well this is kind of like that, but far, far dumber:

    He started with a piece claiming that religious freedom and legal gay marriage are incompatible. How can this be, you may ask, for many churches believe in gay marriage and would like to perform them legally? And how can this be, when it’s been long established that churches don’t have to marry anyone?such as divorced people?that they don’t want to marry? Well, you need to heavily tweak your definition of “religious freedom”.

    Already we have seen florists, bakers, and photographers suffer because they have refused to go along with the cultural shift toward gay marriage. There will be more.

    By “attacked”, he means “heavily criticized”. So, apparently Erickson believes that religious freedom means that other people are not allowed to hold, much less express, a critical opinion of anything a person calls their “faith”.

    Three guesses as to who wrote it.

    1. There has been suing.

      1. Suing, complaints to “Human Rights Commissions,” including some victories by same-sex couples against dissenting businesses. It has been documented in Reason and in H&R.

  19. Ready for round II of Amanda Marcotte vs That Dorky Kid Who Asked Kate Upton Out? The sequel that no one asked for, right here:

    You’re looking for a sincere, enthusiastic “yes”, and will settle for nothing less. Do not try to improve your chances by employing social pressure or guilt. Try to ask her out of earshot of others. Don’t try the “woe is me” act to get a yes out of her. And for fuck’s sake, don’t try to use fear to get compliance. That means no cornering people in enclosed spaces or trying to make her worry in the slightest about how you’ll react if she says no. Your vibe should be, “I’d like to get this date, but if I don’t, I will keep my disappointment to myself.” For what it’s worth, that attitude reads as confident, and confident is sexy.

      1. A lot of men who violate some of the rules above claim to do so because women supposedly like a man who’s “forceful”. Besides some of the wackier specimens out there, that’s largely untrue,

        Keep telling yourself that, sister. Stay strong.

    1. Damn it, kid. Do you see what you’ve started? A full blown Kultur War!

    1. And whose insurance is going to cover that baby, anyway? On a recent lesbo group trip to the mountains, a friend who works at the State Department brought along a Congressional Research Service report as light reading

      WFT?

      1. That lesbian trip to the mountains is nothing like the ones I’ve seen on the Internet.

        1. If you’re reading Congressional reports during a lesbo hike to relieve boredom, you’re doing it wrong.

          1. In some of the more pedestrian cultural circles this is a sign that someone ‘has brainz.’ Likely, it never happened. She is just making a weak attempt at signifying she hangs out with smart people.

            1. That thought came to mind for me, as well. Either way, it’s hilariously clueless.

    2. “…More ladies, more problems…”

      Biggie Smalls agrees, but Jay-Z says he has 99 other problems of greater importance.

      1. The song is about the drug dog…

        1. That song finally makes sense now.

  20. The local school committee voted to ban dodgeball and other “target” sports, saying that they promote bullying.

    “Remember to pick the bigger, stronger kids for your team. That way you can all gang up on the weaker ones.” – Patches O’Houlihan

    1. For dodge ball? Fuck that. Quick and agile is what you want in a teammate.

  21. Worst alt-text evah!

  22. OK, choo-choos are a waste; muy betta to use buses on existing roads. But, hey, let’s make some of the lanes bus-only and run them as expresses!
    Great idea, but $18.7M/mile?! WIH are they doing, painting the lines with Q-tips?!
    (most of the story is hidden behind a pay wall, but you’ll get the summary here: http://blog.sfgate.com/matiera…..-to-where/ )

  23. Of course Marcotte would be the kind of idiot who goes all in with 90s nostalgia: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/201…..ack-swing/

    The fun thing about Amanda is that she sucks in ways and dimensions that exceeds the grasp of even your average Aggrieved Woman.

    1. 90’s nostalgia?!? That’s so wrong on so many levels, I don’t even know what to say. That’s like being nostalgic for that time you got your dick caught in your zipper.

      1. She doesn’t even have the benefit of having been a dumb yute while it was happening.

        I propose that we all forget that Vanilla Ice and the rest of the 90s ever happen, and drown anyone who says otherwise in a peat bog.

        1. Seconded.

        2. I’m in. Dumb fucking decade. Almost as bad as the present.

        3. I’d rather just like what I want to like without nostalgia. There were plenty of good cultural products of the 90s. Beavis and Butthead is the only one I can think of now, but I’m sure there were others.

          1. Didn’t they invent Internet porn in the 90s?

            1. Internet porn wasn’t invented, ProL. It always existed, it was just waiting for technology to catch up.

              1. Okay, discovered, then.

          2. Seinfeld, early Neal Stephenson, Sound Garden, getting divorced, living on the beach in the Summer of ’99, spear fishing shark, cheap and unharassed travel, those were the good parts.

            1. Not enough to build a nostalgia industry.

              1. Maybe the travel. Staying in Boston or Miami for three day weekends was trivial then in both effort and money spent.

            2. Getting divorced, going to grad school, backpacking from Paris to Hong Kong, re-starting my life in Tokyo

              The 90’s were pretty good to me.

        4. The 90s were an amazing time for underground music.

      2. Episiarch| 4.1.13 @ 5:21PM |#

        90’s nostalgia?!? That’s so wrong on so many levels

        well…

        IMHO –
        Music and films were better

        Terrorism was a problem…for Israelis.

        The Knicks were worth watching

        Rap music was still fun

        The Simpsons were good, If SNL was awful

        Not every douchebag had a cell phone and it was easier to avoid people

        The was no intertubes, so the difference between smart people and idiots was far clearer

        I dunno. There’s an argument there maybe.

        1. Yes, but preceding decades were better. Screw the 90s. This is all their fault.

        2. films were better

          The 90s saw the rise of the likes of Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich through Hollywood. Therefore, this statement is demonstrably false.

          CASE NOT MADE

          1. The 70s blows the 90s out of the space-time continuum for movies.

        3. To the peat bogs with you, 90s-lover.

    2. I found the 90s nostalgia thing offensive to my eyes, so I decided to read how to ask someone out instead.

      http://www.rawstory.com/rs/201…..t-to-know/

      I wonder if the whole thing is just a ruse to make people assume that she gets asked out constantly.

      1. It’s the exact inverse of those mens’ rights things where they simultaneously brag about how much pussy they’re getting while bemoaning “slut culture”.

        The female version is, “I have to turn away so much riff raff; why can’t my One True Feminist Prince cum come for me?”

  24. “The local school committee voted to ban dodgeball and other “target” sports, saying that they promote bullying”

    When they discover that ‘target sports’ are one of the few outlets that allow kids to exorcise their violent tendencies, and ‘bullying’ rises, they will clearly come to their senses…. and ban every other form of competitive exercise too. We can’t have some people being stronger than others! Here come the Harrison Bergeron handicaps… and we will finally achieve a regulated-Utopia.

    1. and we will finally achieve a regulated-Utopia

      If regulation really could usher in a utopia, we’d already be halfway to Heaven by now.

    1. Evolution.

  25. YOUNG Australian children are growing so fat that doctors are removing their tonsils to help them breathe.

    Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifesty…..z2PFb3RMNv

    1. Well, it’s good that it’s that, instead of letting them engage in dangerous sports that might cause inequality for some.

      Now if they can just remove the testicles of the male ones, most problems of humanity will be solved.

    1. That’s the root issue with victimology: it’s really just a way to make it institutionally impossible to give advice to people who are in bad situations because of avoidable actions.

      Underage girls are *exactly* the group of people who need to be told these things — not because they’re dumb (though they are, just like most of the rest of their age cohort), but because they’re inexperienced. Guys likewise need to be told not to put their dicks in anything that squirms and to be smart about who they’re sexing up. Difference being, guys aren’t a full-fledged victim group (yet), so it’s possible to say these things in public.

    1. You forgot, no parks. All Libertarians hate parks. Parks and children. So no children either. But at least one liquor store and whorehouse, per block. No wait… everywhere is a liquor store or whorehouse, now we’re talking.

      1. That’s silly Hyp, were it a libertarian paradise every whorehouse would have a liquor license sell liquor without interference from the state.

    2. Dump that square plot into the ocean and you have the Libertarian City of the Future!

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