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No Ruling on Gay Marriage from Supreme Court, Pentagon Responds to North Korea, Israeli Army Objects to Foreign Ministry's Use of Bar Refaeli: P.M. Links

Ed Krayewski | 3.26.2013 4:30 PM

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  • think israeli tech
    gastia.com/foter.com

    There aren't many clues on how the Supreme Court might rule on gay marriage after hearing oral arguments related to California's Proposition 8 today.

  • Some bars in Washington and Colorado are embracing marijuana use even as its legal status when smoked in "public places" remains unsettled in both states.
  • The Pentagon responds to the latest saber rattling from North Korea by pointing out the U.S. was ready for "any contingency."
  • David Petraeus is expected to apologize for the affair that ended his CIA tenure, the beginning of a "public comeback."
  • An Egyptian-born Italian journalist who converted from Islam to Catholicism says he is leaving the Church over its "soft" stance on his former religion.
  • The Israeli army opposes the foreign ministry's decision to hire supermodel Bar Refaeli to promote the country's tech sector, because she's a draft dodger and thus a bad role model for youth.
  • The discovery of the Higgs Boson could help explain how the infinite stack of turtles will topple at the end of the universe.

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NEXT: The Feds Don't Seem to Understand Bitcoin

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    The discovery of the Higgs Boson could help explain how the infinite stack of turtles will topple at the end of the universe.

    it’s like a giant game of Jenga

  2. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Nice parking job.

    1. $park?   12 years ago

      WTF is a neighbour?

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        An english person that lives next door.

        1. NeonCat   12 years ago

          Shouldn’t that be doour?

          1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

            It’s a brass door

    2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      Nice that the roof held up.

      1. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

        That’s why the hobbit house must be torn down, obviously. Building codes FTW.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    An Egyptian-born Italian journalist who converted from Islam to Catholicism says he is leaving the Church over its “soft” stance on his former religion.

    Nothing worse than a born again.

  4. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Breaking Bad script swiped.

    1. Proprietist   12 years ago

      July 15th can’t get here fast enough.

    2. MJGreen   12 years ago

      Stay out of my car.

  5. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    The Israeli army opposes the foreign ministry’s decision to hire supermodel Bar Refaeli to promote the country’s tech sector, because she’s a draft dodger and thus a bad role model for youth.

    Not only that, but according to the research paper I wrote last week her BMI is barely above Israel’s minimum to be a model in the country.

    1. Zeb   12 years ago

      Her thighs are a bit thin. Probably needs to squat more.

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        She can squat on me any time.

    2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      Should have known their reason would be lame.

    3. CE   12 years ago

      Hey, if she needs a place to hide out from the draft board…

  6. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Should London go solo?

    1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      London defects. Southern Irelands takes over the rest of the UK.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      Londoners need to get over themselves. Shitty food, risk of being puked on by some drunken yob even at nice bars, and vile weather is no way to run a city.

    3. a better weapon   12 years ago

      Try reading it again, but instead this time replace “London” with “Washington D.C.”

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        ^^ Exactly

        The rest of the UK might be living through the toughest squeeze in a century, but it doesn’t feel like it, walking around many parts of the capital. And in many ways, it hasn’t been like that either.

        London had a recession, but it didn’t last long. Its economy grew by nearly 12.5% between 2007 and 2011 – twice as fast as the rest of the UK. And the property market barely stopped either.

        Wow, so the capital of a fucking socialist country does well while the outlying provinces suffer? No fucking way!

        1. Mike M.   12 years ago

          It’s disconcerting and more than a little strange to watch the civilized world reverting to feudalism right before our eyes. Nearly three centuries of political enlightenment is rapidly swirling right down the toilet.

        2. Irish   12 years ago

          The fastest growing cities and the cities with the fastest economic growth in America are in one of two places:

          1. Places with low taxes and relatively free markets, like Texas.

          2. Washington, D.C.

          The only left wing city that’s doing well is Washington. I wonder why that is.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Some bars in Washington and Colorado are embracing marijuana use even as its legal status when smoked in “public places” remains unsettled in both states.

    I worry about secondhand mellowing.

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      I’m thinking the Feds are going to own some bars soon.

    2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      I’ve been to a number of bars where it’s common for the patrons to go burn one out back or even out front.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        A couple here have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” culture, but if someone complains, they’ll make a general announcement that smoking pot at their bar could get them in trouble with the ABC.

      2. Old Man With Candy   12 years ago

        Any of those in Chicago? I’ve been dry recently…

        1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

          I would think. I’m in Columbus and theres two just within walking distance from my house and I’m out in the ‘burbs.

  8. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

    This link is pretty much the final word in demonstrating Obama’s love of drone strikes to the clueless.

    http://drones.pitchinteractive.com/

    1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      Pretty damning.

      1. Xenocles   12 years ago

        I don’t think it is. If anything, these attacks are far more precise than any other form of warfare in history. Civilian casualties aren’t an argument against UAVs, they’re an argument for them. The fight should be against the doctrine, not the weapons. It’s the doctrine that says take the shot even when there’s no active threat and when there are children around.

        1. gaijin   12 years ago

          are far more precise than any other form of warfare

          We’re at war with Pakistan? Assasinations with an umbrella and polonium are far more precise than drones. I agree that the policy should be the fight, but it’s hard for voters to see the hazards of the policy without the civilian casualties…most people can imagine themselves as civilians…not as policy warriors.

          1. Xenocles   12 years ago

            We are definitely at war in Pakistan. Much of it is even with their blessing.

            1. gaijin   12 years ago

              ‘with’ or ‘in’…makes a difference. Or at least, it should.

          2. yonemoto   12 years ago

            I’m pretty sure that basically what this site does show is that the obama administration is particularly adept at convincing news outlets to keep pushing “children” and “civilian” casualties into the “other” category.

    2. gaijin   12 years ago

      It’s like a game of missile command…but with only incoming missles.

      1. Ted S.   12 years ago

        Pointless slow animation. Who wants to sit through that.

  9. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Why you shouldn’t try things at home, or Darwin wins again

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      Well, strictly speaking it wasn’t “at home”.

      Can we also blame the schools for not teaching him to use a rope shorter than the opening is tall?

    2. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

      A 22-year-old man was killed trying to swing through the opening of a 33-meter-tall sandstone arch in a stunt made so popular on YouTube that state authorities recently banned the daredevil activity by commercial outfitters.

      Kyle Lee Stocking left too much slack in the rope he was using…

      Private experts blocked by interfering government, amateur dies.

      1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

        Exactly. Remember, government is looking out for your best interests. Whereas evil commercial operations are trying to steal your money.

    3. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

      The video makes me wish more people were dying from this. Especially the ones wearing a helmet.

    4. John   12 years ago

      Kyle Lee Stocking left too much slack in the rope he was using, and it sent him crashing into the sandstone base of Corona Arch near Moab, Grand County sheriff’s officials said. He died Sunday afternoon.

      I shouldn’t laugh at someone’s death. But that is literally Wiley Coyote stupid. I would think measuring the length of the rope would be high on your list of things that you must get right.

      1. itsnotmeitsyou   12 years ago

        John, it’s always ok to laugh at someone’s death when they do so in a way that would make them eligible for a Darwin Award. This one may be a shoe in.

      2. phandaal   12 years ago

        22-year-old does something stupid? Newsworthy.

      3. Tim   12 years ago

        Maybe the government should dig a trench under the arch…for safety.

        1. Rich   12 years ago

          And … for JOBS.

          1. 0x90   12 years ago

            With… spoons.

    5. $park?   12 years ago

      Give a man enough rope and eventually he’ll hang himself smash into the ground.

    6. Loki   12 years ago

      It’s part of the recreational “craziness” sweeping the Moab area, where the annual Jeep Safari week got started Saturday, another potentially dangerous activity that involves rock crawling in modified vehicles

      Sounds like yet another dangerous activity that will need to be banned for “public health” reasons.

      “People aren’t accepting nature for what it is. They have to put an element of excitement into it,”

      That’s because nature is fucking boring. Seriously if I just want to look at pretty scenery I can do that from the comfort of my own home thanks to this thing called the “the internet”.

      It wasn’t immediately clear how Stocking or his friends miscalculated the distance for a wild swing through Corona Arch.

      Seems pretty obvious to me: because they’re stupid. Case closed.

      1. CE   12 years ago

        You could try parachuting into South Africa and building a brush shelter to (hopefully) keep the lions out, and catching some scorpions by hand to eat for supper. Saw that one on Survivorman.

      2. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

        That’s because nature is fucking boring. Seriously if I just want to look at pretty scenery I can do that from the comfort of my own home thanks to this thing called the “the internet”, he wheezed as his left hand brushed across his chest, leaving a thin trail of Cheetos dust over his black t-shirt.

        1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          How the hell is that kid “fat”?

  10. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Go be fat with the older kids

    1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

      Makes sense. The kid sounds like a whiny twerp.

    2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      “She has now complained to the club, as well as to the New Zealand Rugby Union and the Human Rights Commission.”

      What, she couldn’t get a meeting with the UN or at at least the G8? What a loser.

  11. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    There aren’t many clues on how the Supreme Court might rule on gay marriage after hearing oral arguments related to California’s Proposition 8 today.

    Root just got done telling me they’re going to punt.

    1. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

      bunch of punters.

    2. Ted S.   12 years ago

      They’re going to declare it a mandate, a penalty, and a tax, all in one.

  12. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Arizona gun store owner rescinds gun sale to Gabrielle Gifford’s husband Mark Kelly after learning that the purchase was intended as a stunt.

    Also, Kelly’s dog killed a sea lion over the weekend.

  13. Brett L   12 years ago

    Hmm. Maybe there’s something to this grouping students by ability beyond just shaming the slow kids.

    1. $park?   12 years ago

      I wish they would bring it back. My son in 7th grade is bad at math but there is no option to move him into a lower geared math class. There is only one math class and everyone takes it.

    2. Dagny T.   12 years ago

      When my mom was a kid, they named the groups birds’ names, to be sly and avoid hurting the slow kids’ feelings. The smart kids were (I think) the eagles, the average kids were I forget what, and the slow kids were robins. Dodo was a little too on-the-nose, I guess.

      1. Hugh Akston   12 years ago

        Did they make you wear a robin on your sleeve or something so you wouldn’t contaminate the kids who would eventually amount to something?

        1. T   12 years ago

          When my mom was a kid

          Get into the Dodo group with the rest of the reading failures, Hugh.

          1. Dagny T.   12 years ago

            No, Hugh had it right. ROBINS GOTS PRETTY EGGS.

            I just moved here from Canada and they think I’m slow, eh?

            1. Tim   12 years ago

              We had colors. Gold was #1, followed by silver and all the way down to, wait for it, BROWN.

              1. Dagny T.   12 years ago

                Tim, I know you know that is RACIST.

                1. Tim   12 years ago

                  Hmm, it only put us in mind of poop. It was 1975.

                  1. Dagny T.   12 years ago

                    Well, the Browns were probably already sucking in 1975 (Warty, can we get a ruling?) so there is also that.

                    1. Warty   12 years ago

                      The 1975 Browns went 3-11, but the next year they rebounded and went 9-5. So they were at least three times as good as the current fraudulent Browns.

      2. Aresen   12 years ago

        The kids from welfare families were “Sparrows”, no doubt.

        1. T   12 years ago

          Swallows.

        2. Dagny T.   12 years ago

          Canadian public school in the 60’s, I wouldn’t put it past ’em, Aresen. My mom said everybody knew which group was which, because of course they did.

        3. $park?   12 years ago

          Cuckoos.

          1. gaijin   12 years ago

            whacko birds?

      3. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

        At camp we group the kids by age and ability and named them after gross shit. One week it would be physical ailments (e.g., weeping scabs) and the next week would be cures. I liked the week when groups were named after really gross stuff (e.g., Things You Find in Toilets”.

        True Story.

        1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

          That would be women’s gymnastics at Camp Woodward back in the late 70’s and early 80’s.

          1. Virginian   12 years ago

            One day we were bored at camp, so we sorted all the kids:

            Gryffindors: awesome kids
            Ravenclaws: Normal kids
            Hufflepuffs: fat kids
            Slytherins: shithead annoying kids

            We didn’t tell the kids why they were in the Houses they were, but they loved it.

            1. CE   12 years ago

              You know who else organized youths in camps and trained them to be proud to follow orders?

              1. Virginian   12 years ago

                FDR?

              2. Bobarian   12 years ago

                Michele Obama?

              3. cavalier973   12 years ago

                Jack Stiles?

      4. Old Man With Candy   12 years ago

        Our daughter was hopelessly tone deaf. In 5th grade music class, they assigned her to be a “Listen Bird.” “Listen Birds are important, too.”

        She called the teacher a cunt. I was never prouder.

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      Math classes are now more about math appreciation and being able to explain how a procedure works rather than the mastery of skills and procedures necessary to solve problems.

      Ima call bullshit on the emphasized portion.

      1. CharlesWT   12 years ago

        I hadn’t realized bullshit had a phone.

      2. CE   12 years ago

        Back in my day we didn’t have computers to solve our math problems for us. Our assignment was to build our own computer to solve math problems.

    4. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

      I’m a young’un and I didn’t know this was a thing.

      At my school most academic courses were divided up into at least tech ed, college prep, honors, and gifted levels. And then pretty much every course that had an available test had an AP-level.

  14. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Newly restored number 1 golfer in the world Tiger Woods apparently has yet to learn the meaning of the word hubris.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Well, I personally doubt that his edge comes from screwing a single athletic blonde, so I’m just waiting for the waitresses to start coming out of the woodwork.

      1. wareagle   12 years ago

        and don’t forget the strippers. If it’s a jock, even a golfer, there have to be strippers. The club isn’t going to rain on itself.

      2. Drake   12 years ago

        Hard to hate the guy. He grew an evil goatee, found a new hot blonde, and is back to winning golf tournaments every week or two.

        1. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

          By the way, have you taken care of this yet?

          http://gawker.com/5991837/aman…..-my-vagina

          1. Virginian   12 years ago

            Oh wow….Amanda Bynes….I had a crush on her growing up for sure.

            Now she’s fucked up in the head, like all former child stars apparently. Cheek piercings? Really?

            1. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

              You know “murder your vagina” is going to enter your lexicon, though.

              1. Virginian   12 years ago

                I will pair it with the Gibbs slap technique and have all the women of the world!

            2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

              Have no idea who she is but after image googling her I would totally murder her vagina. It would help if didn’t talk though.

          2. Drake   12 years ago

            I’ll get right on, er, in there.

        2. Ted S.   12 years ago

          No, it’s easy to hate him. We get him shoved down our throats constantly. They don’t cover golf; they cover Tiger Woods playing golf.

          I’m a tennis fan, and tennis coverage is just as problematic in only caring about a few players with perceived “sizzle”.

    2. Virginian   12 years ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXRuoSHI6eQ

      But seriously, how is he not winning?

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        Further evidence: this commercial exists

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..sults_main

    3. John   12 years ago

      I can’t believe Lindsey Vaughn is going for him. Dear, he banged the waitress at the Waffle House. God only knows where that thing has been.

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        You really find it hard to believe?

        1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

          He’s got a thing for big dumb Swedes.

          1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

            Who doesn’t?

      2. NeonCat   12 years ago

        Scattered, smothered and covered?

      3. generic Brand   12 years ago

        Lindsey Vonn isn’t all that attractive, considering the girl he gave up/lost. Vonn might have additional appeal for herself being an athlete, but there are quite a few better looking girls he could be with.

        1. Virginian   12 years ago

          Yeah, no one really thinks he’s given up on chasing the strange do they?

          1. Bobarian   12 years ago

            Do you honestly believe he has ever had to chase?

        2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

          I must be hanging out in the wrong places.

          1. CE   12 years ago

            Try Perkins.

            1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

              Well the Perkins near me is not exactly a hot bed of supermodel activity. They do have a damn good peach cobbler though.

      4. Mike M.   12 years ago

        She’s obviously pretty stupid. She’s going to find out the hard way that guys like this never change.

        1. Virginian   12 years ago

          That implies she wants him to change. The reason he is so viscerally attractive to so many women is that he doesn’t need any of them, he can always find another. Which makes them ok with being his in town booty call.

          He slept with over a hundred women, and not one of them went to the tabloids until his wife found out. Ponder on that.

  15. Zeb   12 years ago

    I’d like to comment that the links all going to 24/7 is a terrible innovation.

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      You only just noticed that? 🙂

  16. Brett L   12 years ago

    Remember, wind turbines are safe when they kill endangered species but your fucking house would be knocked down and all your assets seized if you accidentally killed the same animal on your property.

  17. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    The world’s ugliest cars

    1. John   12 years ago

      The new Cherokee is hideous. But I don’t the Rover Evoque is too bad.

    2. SweatingGin   12 years ago

      I snickered at “Row of Urinals” on the Jeep Cherokee grill.

      The XJ-S looks dated, but not bad.

    3. Zeb   12 years ago

      They would never list the real ugliest cars because they are just boring.

    4. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      How didn’t the Pontiac Aztec make the list?

  18. John   12 years ago

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/edu…..raphy.html

    The childrenz!! Porn!! Oh my God.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Yep. The internet has pretty much destroyed the taboo of kink.

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        There going to grow up and be like “yeah I’d like to have sex with you but I can’t get a woody unless you can get 5 of your friends to come over and oil wrestle with you.”

        1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          Naw, taboos change. Next it’ll be “I won’t be able to get it up unless I’m having dirty hate sex with a Republican” or something else.

          Posted this last night when talking aboutoily Greeks

          1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

            Um. Note to self. No more clicking Jesses links.

            1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              Oh please, my links are mostly harmless. It’s SIV with his fetish lube emporia you have to worry about.

              1. Irish   12 years ago

                I was going to say, he thinks THAT’S something he shouldn’t have clicked on? He hasn’t known true horror.

                1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                  Oh, Banjos was looking for that link to SIV’s lube emporium on another thread. I’m not sure if you still have it in your history, or if you dropped your PC in a vat of acid after clicking away.

                  1. Irish   12 years ago

                    Damn. I remember it started with ‘Fort’ but it apparently isn’t in my history. I guess it’s for the best. If someone ever uses my computer and stumbles on that, I don’t know that I’d be able to explain.

                  2. Irish   12 years ago

                    Damn. I remember it started with ‘Fort’ but it apparently isn’t in my history. I guess it’s for the best. If someone ever uses my computer and stumbles on that, I don’t know that I’d be able to explain.

            2. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

              Or download Reasonable.

        2. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

          Of course, this is really the first generation with this kind of access, so they are really just guessing.

          I made this model, um and I put in a bunch of variables and stuff, and I like ran it, and um the results kinda clearly demonstrate there will be some um adverse effects in the future, or something.

          The science is settled.

    2. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

      … and feeling the need to be “vajazzled” ? when private parts are decorated with glitter and jewels.
      “Boys don’t get away scot-free either,” she said. “I have recently discovered that men may be pejazzled or even scrotazzled.”

      Fo’ shizzle, my nizzle!

      1. phandaal   12 years ago

        Brings new meaning to the term “Disco stick.”

        HEYOOOOOOO

      2. NeonCat   12 years ago

        Whatever happened to slitting the skin of your penis and putting stainless steel balls inside? Or going bifurcated? Will they even call it “bumping uglies” if their privates are covered in glitter and fake jewels?

        (sigh) Kids these days?

      3. Rich   12 years ago

        “Boys don’t get away scot-free either,” she said. “I have recently discovered that men may be pejazzled or even scrotazzled.”

        I’m not quite sure how to take this.

        Are the *boys* getting pejazzled/scrotazzled, or what?

      4. Dagny T.   12 years ago

        Yeah, wouldn’t it be “penazzled”? It’s not a penazzletax!

        “Scrotazzled” made my day.

    3. edcoast   12 years ago

      Liked the comment: “Perhaps a warning to young girls about basing relationship expectations on romantic comedies would also be helpful.”

  19. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Medical examiner determines Baltimore man with Down Syndrome that died in police custody was asphyxiated, rules death a homicide.

    Despite this, the three sheriff’s deputies will not face any charges because the man was yelling and cursing at them, which is apparently enough belligerence to warrant choking him to death.

    1. OldMexican   12 years ago

      Contempt Of Cop carries the death penality, as long as the executioners can get away with it.

  20. Brett L   12 years ago

    Big Sis won’t rule out 2016 Presidential run. In equally important news, I, being finally eligible have also not ruled out a 2016 Presidential run.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      You’re not eligible.

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        That’s quite a compliment.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

          The highest.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      She also presents a non-nonsense, law and order demeanor attractive to independents.

      That is quite a statement.

      1. PapayaSF   12 years ago

        Indeed, it’s probably the first time the word “attractive” has been used about Janet Napolitano.

    3. Mike M.   12 years ago

      Oh my god. That’s even more laughable than Rahmbo Emanuel running. Joe Biden is like a Founding Father compared to that repulsive bull dyke.

  21. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Brit’s building underground to avoid excessive building regulations

    1. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

      damn apostrophe union

  22. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    BREAKING: Kids have no self-control

    1. gaijin   12 years ago

      also, Kids do not generally think about costs.

    2. Xenocles   12 years ago

      BREAKING: Kids + Internet = Bad idea.

  23. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    In Esquire interview, Hugh Hefner attempts to ball park how many women he’s slept with.

    Any one want to take a guess?

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Let’s see, 60 years * 365 days + 12 for leap years is approximately 22000 days. So I’ll take 2500.

    2. NeonCat   12 years ago

      I’m imagining a Venn diagram of Hef and Wilt’s, er, companions and wondering about the overlap.

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      “I made up for it when I wasn’t married. You have to keep your hand in.”

      Hef, “keeping your hand in” is not what most of us expected from you.

  24. Aresen   12 years ago

    The Pentagon responds to the latest saber rattling from North Korea by pointing out the U.S. was ready for “any contingency.”

    From that, I would judge that South Koreans are going to have to live without a Seoul.

    1. NeonCat   12 years ago

      Any contingency? Including if the entire N Korean population stripped naked and marched south while singing/performing “YMCA” the whole way?

      I thought not.

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        “Nothing is off the table.”

    2. itsnotmeitsyou   12 years ago

      All of SK is becoming gingers?

    3. Cheradenine Zakalwe   12 years ago

      From that, I would judge that South Koreans are going to have to live without a Seoul.
      If they’d been exposed to gingers as children they’d already have built up the ability to do this.

  25. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

    Huzzah! Wesley is gone!

  26. gaijin   12 years ago

    David Petraeus is expected to apologize for the affair that ended his CIA tenure, the beginning of a “public comeback.”

    Don’t call it a comeback
    I been here for years
    Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
    Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
    Listen to the bass go BOOM

    1. phandaal   12 years ago

      As in, he’ll apologize because someone has offered him a cushy new job if he does so.

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        As far as I’m concerned the only people he owes an apology to are his family.

        1. gaijin   12 years ago

          agreed. Public apologies are just a public show.

    2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      I’m gonna take this itty bitty world by storm
      And I’m just gettin warm…
      Why do you riff with me, the maniac psycho
      And when I pull out my jammy get ready cuz it might go
      BLAAAAW, how ya like me now?…
      Shotgun blasts are heard
      When I rip and kill, at WILL…
      Farmers (What!!!) Farmers (What!!!)
      I’m ready (we’re ready!!!)
      I think I’m gonna bomb a town (get down!!)

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        And my nine is easy to load

        Always wondered just what that line meant

    3. Bobarian   12 years ago

      Seriously, fuck you for putting that death rattle in my head

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        sorry bout the Destruction, terror, and mayhem

      2. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

        Fuck you! LL Cool J’s version of the song on MTV’s Unplugged is one of the best moments on television!

  27. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    New York Times op-ed wonders about’loopy’ Rand Paul’s rise, laments why he and others like Cruz won’t just be good sports and follow the leads of the GOP establishment.

    1. Episiarch   12 years ago

      Further proof (as if we needed it) that the media is more overall statist than it even is TEAM-oriented.

    2. Ruckus   12 years ago

      People that don’t fit into boxes are troublesome to the media. It makes it harder for them dictate what we should think.

    3. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      They, are quite simply, shat the shortz, scared of this man. And they should be.

      I predicted the attempt to marginalize him would soon begin. Here we go.

    4. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      Whoop! Whoop! Cliche overload! Your poetic license has just been revoked!

      “…flying high right now…migrate to the foreground of Republican politics….albatross…greatest hits…peddled those clunkers…making headlines and waves…the biggest splashes…Seasoned hands with cooler heads…The tail wags the dog….the Tea Party proved its muscle…marathon filibuster, egging him on….sets the tone….skunk in a presidential primary…like a vegan who has chosen to sup at a steakhouse…”

      1. CE   12 years ago

        In other words, they’re really worried that someone might actually, you know, want to cut federal spending.

    5. Irish   12 years ago

      Damn, I was hoping it would be David Brooks. His op eds always make me laugh, since his governing philosophy seems to be ‘We simply are not fascist enough. This cannot stand.’

  28. Jordan   12 years ago

    Re the alt-text: If Bar Refaeli is an example of Israeli tech, then we should just surrender to AIPAC.

    1. Tim   12 years ago

      I’d Higgs her Boson…

      1. NeonCat   12 years ago

        Ha! She’d brush against you and pow! Gluons everywhere.

        1. Bobarian   12 years ago

          Particles like her only go for the dark matter.

  29. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    WaPo: School vouchers are bad because they subsidize some private schools with wacky ideas.

    Unlike public schools, which are, of course, a bastion of intellectual thought and free-thinking.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      In other words, your children belong to the state, and you’re just renting them. Fucking freedom of thought, how does it work?

      1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        I don’t even think the Establishment Clause argument flies since the state is compelling you to send your kids to school, so why shouldn’t they accommodate those with religious preferences if they’re going to force them?

        1. Jordan   12 years ago

          Yeah, it’s horseshit. People aren’t and shouldn’t be prevented from donating their Social Security checks to the Catholic Church.

    2. PapayaSF   12 years ago

      Funny, liberals never seem to complain about the G.I. Bill. My Dad used it to go to a Catholic college even though he isn’t Catholic.

    3. OldMexican   12 years ago

      ” Washington Post review found that hundreds of students use their voucher dollars to attend schools that are unaccredited or are in unconventional settings, such as a family-run K-12 school operating out of a storefront, a Nation of Islam school based in a converted Deanwood residence, and a school built around the philosophy of a Bulgarian psychotherapist.”

      The clueless author of the article did not find it interesitng that people would rather send their kids to a K-12 storefront school, a Nation of Islam school or a school founded around the philosophy of a Bulgarian psychotherapy, than the local D.C. public schools. Instead, the author proceeds to complain about the lack of government oversight on their curricula, completely missing the point of the popularity of vouchers in the first place.

      This is what passes for journalism, America. Welcome to hell.

      1. Joe M   12 years ago

        We must all be the same, guided by our wise masters.

      2. PapayaSF   12 years ago

        A storefront school?? Oh, the humanity!

  30. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

    Specifically, the fate of the universe depends quite sensitively not only on the Higgs but also on the mass of the top quark, another fundamental particle whose mass hovers at about 180 GeV. “The top quark strongly affects the vacuum by its quantum fluctuations because it is so heavy,” Allanach says. “If the Higgs mass were really 127 GeV and the top mass were a little lower than its most likely value, then actually the universe would be completely stable and the vacuum would be in the true minimum.”

    Fuck, now Michele Obama is gonna be nagging because my Top Quarks are obese.

    1. Tim   12 years ago

      Apparently our universe is like a bath tub and evrything in it could leak out if the plug is pulled.

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        Apparently our universe is like a bath tub and evrything in it could leak out if the plug is pulled.

        If SCOTUS makes god mad he might decide to pull the plug on us.

      2. hotsy totsy   12 years ago

        Okay, but where’s it gonna leak TO?

    2. Jordan   12 years ago

      Wookiees gonna wookiee.

    3. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      I thought THIS was the top Quark?

      1. Mickey Rat   12 years ago

        No, it’s this guy…obviously.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:QuarkCast.jpg

  31. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Report: Current NFL player considering coming out of the closet.

    I don’t think its Tom Brady who, as one of you theorized, is only pegged by Giselle when he loses.

    1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

      “I don’t do the guys. I don’t do that,” Chris Culliver said. “We don’t have any gays on the team. They gotta get up outta here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff.”

      That’s exactly the wrong attitude! If you know where the gay guys are you can flee from our unbridled sexuality before we have time to secretly seduce you into a life of unrepentant sodomy. Duh.

      Where is SF on this!?

    2. generic Brand   12 years ago

      Please let it be Eli Manning!!!

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        I’m thinking Tony Romo.

        1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          Something about Tony Romo reminds me of Aaron Schock

          1. Dagny T.   12 years ago

            I wondered why that name was in my search history. He is too pretty and much too snappy a dresser to be straight, right?

            1. Virginian   12 years ago

              He’s not gay, he just dresses that way.

            2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              People like to speculate over his sexual orientation. He’s young, good looking, awkwardly fumbles basic questions about gay marriage, and wore that outfit with white pants and a teal belt. He also has great abs, but absent a Larry Craig-like scandal we may never know for certain his orientation.

              1. Dagny T.   12 years ago

                I really hate to gush over a congresscritter, but those white pants and that teal belt were perfection. I hope the pants were seersucker.

                1. Virginian   12 years ago

                  You should move to the South and go to college football games. You can have all the seersucker sporting frat boys, and I’ll take the ladies in sundresses.

                  1. Dagny T.   12 years ago

                    Virginian, I am ashamed to admit that I would probably be a total sucker (hurr) for Southern frat boys.

                2. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                  He “burned the belt” after it reignited the debate his team affiliation. He probably should’ve thrown the hot-pink gingham shirt on the fire too if he’s that worried.

                  1. Irish   12 years ago

                    I don’t know why he’d get rid of that ensemble. He looks damn good. You can’t be self-conscious about this sort of thing. If you can rock a teal belt, you just have to own it.

                    1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                      People really respond to how you wear something more than what you’re wearing. It was one of the two best pieces of advice I got in highschool. The other was “don’t drink anything you didn’t open yourself.”

                    2. Warty   12 years ago

                      That guy somehow manages to make that teal belt and pink checkered shirt look almost straight. I don’t get it.

                    3. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                      almost straight

                      Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

                    4. Warty   12 years ago

                      I mean, if you’re having a MMF threesome, and you just happen to accidentally find yourself banging the other dude on accident, that’s almost straight.

                    5. Dagny T.   12 years ago

                      Warty, Episiarch’s soiled RealDoll doesn’t count as the “F” in that equation. NTTAWWT

                    6. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                      You have no idea how close that is to something an ex told me once. My friend group still makes jokes that “It’s not gay if you high five, ’cause you’re bros and it’s cool.”

                      I have a wretched dating history.

                    7. Irish   12 years ago

                      ‘It’s not gay if you high five’ is a glorious sentence.

                    8. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                      I definitely like it better than “it’s only gay if our balls touch.”

                    9. Dagny T.   12 years ago

                      Jesse, I am with the Irishman. Glorious. Excellent happy hour stories, I would imagine.

                    10. Virginian   12 years ago

                      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the eiffel tower

                    11. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                      That’s hand-holding Virginian, that’s gotta be pretty gay, no?

                      The Wobbly H is way less gay.

      2. gaijin   12 years ago

        do you really think it would be anyone other than some practice squad or special teams player?

        1. Old Man With Candy   12 years ago

          Vernon Davis. Mark my words.

    3. Episiarch   12 years ago

      For you, Serious. Well, for me too.

    4. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

      Gotta love when the homophobes in the black community aren’t slaughtered in the press for their bullshit.

      Imagine if Wayne Gretzky said the same thing as Culliver did.

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        There decent media backlash when Culliver said what he did. IIRC, he had been part of one of the It Gets Better videos, and then when they asked him about it things got confusing.

        1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          I have no idea what you’re talking about.

          1. Irish   12 years ago

            It Gets Better is a Dan Savage project to tell gay kids that life gets better after high school and to deal with suicide and depression among teenage gay people.

            I don’t think Culliver was actually in one. I thought other 49ers players were in some of them.

            1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              Good call, the two who denied being in it were Ahmad Brooks and Isaac Sopoaga.

              Niners’ Brooks, Sopoaga don’t recall anti-bullying video

      2. Warty   12 years ago

        Am I the only one who’s seriously creeped out by the “______ community” convention? They’re not homophobes in the black community, they’re homophobes who are black.

        1. Irish   12 years ago

          You’re right. It’s a way of saying something negative about black people without being called racist. It’s not that many black PEOPLE are homophobes. It’s that homophobia is a problem in the black community.

          It’s basically a semantic game meant to make progressives feel more tolerant than they actually are.

          1. Warty   12 years ago

            It’s a thoroughly distasteful example of lazy collectivism.

            1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

              Warty’s gonna lecture me on taste? This should be interesting.

              It’ll be like that time that Tulpa taught me how to put together a good analogy.

              1. Warty   12 years ago

                IT’S A COOKBOOK

        2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

          How about, “Black dudes get a free pass on hating gays by the media”, Mr. member of the creeped out by the “______community” convention community?

          1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

            But they’re “our” New Left coalition buddies. We gloss over such things for the sake of left unity. It was equal parts awful and awkward to watch the liberal infighting when black voters went heavily in favor of prop 8. I definitely was at a rally where the speaker droned on and on about blaming Mormons instead of blacks.

        3. Zeb   12 years ago

          Yeah, it’s fucking stupid. As if every black person has to somehow represent all black people.

  32. MJGreen   12 years ago

    Over at libertarianism.org, Aaron Ross Powell uses John Stuart Mill to destroy that Conly woman’s paternalism bullshit.

    1. gaijin   12 years ago

      A good site to bookmark I think.

    2. Warty   12 years ago

      John Stuart Mill
      Of his own free will
      On half a pint of shandy
      Was particularly ill

  33. SumpTump   12 years ago

    Soudns like some crazy smack to me dude.

    http://www.MaxAnon.tk

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      Cool story, bro.

  34. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Every Woody Allen stammer EVER.

  35. Dagny T.   12 years ago

    Greatjon Umber’s ear bitten off. Wonder if his meat was bloody tough.

    1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      Dammit, now he’ll be too ugly for the fairytale wedding!

  36. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

    Question: I want to learn Norwegian. Rosetta Stone doesn’t offer Norwegian.

    Is there a program that any of you might recommend?

    1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      A Prarie Home Companion

    2. Dagny T.   12 years ago

      I had some success with Livemocha, and it is free. It would probably be even more useful if I wasn’t too chicken to interact with native speakers.

    3. Xenocles   12 years ago

      Just take the Swedish module and fake it, like with Italian and Spanish.

    4. GILMORE   12 years ago

      join the viking raiding parties as an apprentice. worked for me.

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        Hey GILMORE, shake your evil twin, Gillmore, yet?

        1. GILMORE   12 years ago

          IF HE SHOWS HIS GAYTARDED NOMENCLATURE AGAIN HE WILL DIE 75 INTERNET DEATHS EVEN BEFORE I START TO BEAT HIS BLEEDING FIGURATIVE IDENTITY INTO A DISTORTED DISTGUSTING REMNENT OF A …aw fuck, whatever, the guy was a dork.

    5. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Do they offer Swedish? The Scandinavian langauges are close enough for practical purposes.

      (This, of course, doesn’t include Finnish.)

  37. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

    Yeah, ’cause central Ohio is in complete anarchy because were short 150 sheriffs. 150? WTF. I don’t think they need 150 Sheriffs total.

    http://www.nbc4i.com/story/21788588/sheriff-says

    1. gaijin   12 years ago

      yeah, well who’s going to save your butt from zombies? The Ohio National Guard?

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        My Mossberg loaded with 00 buck.

      2. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        And hey the Ohio National Guard didn’t take any shit from those unarmed Kent State college students.

      3. cavalier973   12 years ago

        My holy symbol and a kickin’ mace

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S87kkS5m5Y

    2. Xenocles   12 years ago

      There are only 88 counties in Ohio, so unless I’m missing something that sounds way wrong. Maybe they meant deputies?

      1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

        This is just for one county so yeah it would be sheriff deputies. But regardless they don’t 150 deputies.

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          Don’t they?

  38. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

    In the A.M. somebody posted a Skyrim theme metal cover.

    It’s too “power metal” too me. I’m an alt metal guy.

    The Thane reserves his approval.

    1. AlmightyJB   12 years ago

      Me thought twas sweet.

    2. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

      It sounded like he was skipping every other note in some parts…

      1. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

        He was also playing it just a bit too slow, which is odd, because it’s FUCKING METAL. Metal shouldn’t be slow.

        This one is somewhat better; it at least got closer to the right speed:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW7EnixZVNI

  39. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    Bar Refaeli is worried that the other IDF girls would scratch her eyes out, lol

    http://www.totallyfakeinetenetaddress.com

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