Public schools

Brickbat: They Should Have Used Only the Minesweepers


jennifertomaloff / photo on flickr

Susan Wright, principal of Michigan's Schall Elementary School, personally called the parents of one 9-year-old student to complain about how they had decorated cupcakes they sent to school for the boy to celebrate his birthday. The boy's mom had put little green army men on them, and Wright said that was "insensitive" considering the shooting last year at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

NEXT: InTrade Shutting Down

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. what Bradley explained I am shocked that someone can make $8468 in one month on the internet. have you seen this web page…

    1. You’re easily shocked Concetta. Are you sure you’re a libertarian?

      1. She’s a nun. My kindergarten teacher was Sister Concetta and she definitely would have been shocked by how much money one can make in a day if they are willing to do manual labor.

        1. Two nuns were sitting on a park bench when suddenly a flasher flashed them.

          One of the nuns had a stroke.

          The other couldn’t reach that far.

          1. One of the nuns said “Show him your Cross, Sister”.

            The other yelled “Hey, Mister, get the fuck out of here!”

      2. This is why there are no spambot libertarians.

      3. I’m shocked that someone thinks this is an effective marketing tactic or amusing.

        1. Has anyone ever clicked through on one of these? What the hell are they selling? Is it just a pyramid scheme to get more people posting inane comments on blogs? (Note, I will never click through to a shortened URL posted by an obvious spammer–just don’t do it).

          1. I’m shocked you haven’t clicked through on one of these already. C’mon – you KNOW you want to….

            *ceases being SugarFree*

            1. Those who mock me are doomed forever, you debased animal. Look upon Warty ye Smartass and Despair!

              1. “Look upon Warty ye Smartass and Despair!”

                Isn’t despair everyone’s reaction to looking upon Warty?

          2. I thought they were just recruiting cam-whores.

            I’m expecting by 2020, our economy will consist of 30% government goon squad workers, 30% Cam-whores, 30% drug farmers/dealers and 10% semi-productive workers who spend most of their day commenting on the internet.

            1. guess that makes me a proud 10%-er.

            2. I believe that was covered on the last episode of Beyond 2000

            3. So “Idiocracy” come true. I, for one, welcome our Idiocratic future.

              *kicks Bardas in the balls*

              1. Ow my ball.

  2. When this nation was founded, people got hysterical over witchcraft.

    Very little has changed.

    And speaking of that, registration sure has helped fight spam, eh?

    1. Was that the point? Or was it to stop mentally deranged people chicks shitting all over the weekend threads with huge copy pastas?

      1. Yeah, a spammer is pretty easy to ignore, unlike a certain insane woman.

        1. Sounds like a pretty solid plan to me Dude.

              1. + $33502/month

  3. I would probably have called the principal a retarded pinko cunt, gotten expelled, and taken a shit on her desk on my last day.

    Fuck these people. Seriously.

    1. I like the way you do bidness, Res!

  4. I’m going to start a line of authoritarian action figures for kids to play with and act out their feelings. Teachers bearing little copies of Marx, backed up by grossly overweight “school resource officers” complete with nightsticks, Glocks (who else is professional enough?), Tazers, and a big box of donuts.

    What is with our schools today?
    Metal detectors on every major entrance? Prison guards ostensibly there to protect the students but their presence slowly inuring children’s minds to the idea of an ever watchful authority?

    I swear, if this shit had been around when I was in high school, I and my friends would have mercilessly mocked these assholes, actually gone to some school board meeting in protest (we were a weird bunch), and in general ridiculed the overly controlling security state developing in schools today.

    1. Did the Army attack Sandy Hook?

      1. Well, … not exactly.

        But you *know* they were there in *spirit*.

        /Susan Wright

    2. The problem is, if that is all you knew from the time you entered Kindergarten it might have seemed “normal” to you. Sad, but true.

    3. In my high school in the sebndies we had what were called CETA workers (employed on a gummint “work training” program per the linky) whose job it was to patrol the parking lot. We had a closed campus – so every day, ritually, we’d run to my friend’s car with one of the two CETA drones in chase (what were those overage lardasses going to do – physically restrain 4-5 HS jocks?) hop in and take off to smoke pot and engage in other nefarious activity (get a pop at the 7-11, maybe hit up Burger Chef for lunch).

      What it mostly made us do was hate government jobs programs, the schooladministration, and turn us into pot-smoking law breakers in our teens. IOW, it was awesome!

      1. My mom worked for the school district. I couldn’t have misbehaved even if I wanted.

        Senior year of high school was quite depressing.

  5. In the end, Fountain wants to set the record straight. He says just because he disagrees with the school’s decision it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the safety of school kids.

    Don even go there, Fountain. The need for such a Kafkaesque denial of guilt was kinda the whole point of The Trial.

    1. “But we at the editorial board believe Fountain’s disrespect speaks for itself. Parents who don’t spend hours agonizing over the appropriateness of every item their children bring to school or every word they could possibly say that might be misconstrued are not doing their part to instill proper values in their children, and should be considered suspect. It is a lovely family Fountain has built for himself, and it would be a shame if CYS would have to get involved.”

    2. I, for one, disagree with the school’s decision because I cares about the children. I don’t want them to be infantilized.

      1. Yeah, this. They could have put little AR15s on the cupcakes and this would still be an insane overreaction.

  6. “Our commitment is always to our children and creating a safe place for them to learn, grow and have respectful dialogues about their differences”

    Not failure but low aim the crime, hey?

    1. “Not failure but low aim the crime, hey?”

      Um, what?

      1. The first is a quote from the principal of the school. I countered with a quote from Browning. The implication of this juxtaposition is that she she has set a high goal, failed to meet it, but in her world that is good enough

        1. I see. Makes sense now, I need more coffee. My son apparently thinks DST means bed time has been abolished.

          1. Sounds like he needs a good dose of public school

      2. IFH is Australian. She’s not supposed to make sense.

        1. I know, right? Did you know In Australia, the winter takes place during summer? It’s koo koo krazy land in Australia!

    2. Yeah, nothing says respectful dialogue like authority figures removing the topic of discussion from the classroom.

  7. Why didn’t she decorate them with little green Reaper drones? Or doesn’t the school support our CIA either?

    1. So this is why John Brennan requested to be sworn in on a draft copy of the Constitution without the Bill of Rights–so it would be small enough to fit on a cupcake?

    2. You know how long the wait is for Reaper drone decorations? Everyone wants those things now, it’s worse than the Tickle-me-Elmo Edition Tamaguchi was a few years ago.

  8. I sometimes wonder if the atraction that young boys have to such toys is natural or a result of the society in which they are raised.

    1. Have some sons and you can stop wondering.

      1. No shit. We were bred as hunters. Bows, spears, knives, fish rods, baseball bats, and guns. Boys are drawn to them like bees to honey.

        You can teach them to use them responsibly as tools – or try to keep them away and build up the mystique and attraction.

        1. Sister-in-law tried to keep guns away from her two boys. Now they both want to join the military.

      2. You raised your sons outside of any culture or society? Otherwise, I’m not sure you can tell.

        I tend to agree that it is a natural tendency (though by no means universal), but it is pretty hard to isolate the cultural variable.

        1. Not really, you just see what they are naturally attracted to, especially when they are young. Some of the societal biases are exposed, too. For instance, little boys are just as likely to want to mess with Dad’s hair or pretend to cook as girls are. They also like stuffed animals, not surprising because they are analogues for real animals and boys are intensely interested in animals.

          Boys will also turn *anything* into a weapon, all the time, from the youngest age possible.

          1. They will do so regardless of the wishes of even the biggest peacenik hippie parents determined to keep them isolated from weaponry.

  9. Anyone know what the Intrade odds were on Intrade shutting down?

    1. No, but I have to assume they wouldn’t have paid out.

      1. They would have carefully calculated what they owed each holder of the contract and then politely told them they can’t be paid, I guess…

    2. I bet shrike’s head exploded.

      1. I can’t recall–is he pro- or anti-Intrade? I guess I’ll find out one way or another.

        1. He was about as pro intrade as you can get during the election.

      2. I can’t recall–is he pro- or anti-Intrade? I guess I’ll find out one way or another.

  10. They just didn’t spend enough.

    Figures released last week showed 57 percent of Greeks aged 15 to 24 are out of work, and a similar scourge is tearing apart the fabric of Spain, where some university graduates in their 30s have never had a job.…..8W20130311

    1. Look at the ravages of austerity and despair!

    2. Some university graduates in their 30’s have never had a job? So they were unemployed for like 5 years before the recession?

      1. Yeah, I literally cannt comprehend what that would be like. I’ve worked since I was 11 (pitching papers – remember when kids used to have paper routes?) – always had my own money.

        I don’t know if it would be wonderful or wonderfully horrific to have never worked by the time I was in my 30’s. I have to believe the latter – I think it is against man’s nature to not work (lazy though people can be, myself included).

        1. I think it is against man’s nature to not work

          You Puritan bastard!

        2. remember when kids used to have paper routes

          I remember when newspapers existed.

          1. The only remaining purpose for newspapers is fire starting. And they don’t even seem to work as well for that as they used to.

            1. They also give really old people something to look forward too each morning.

            2. They line bird cages quite effectively.

      2. The recession took unemployment in their age group from 25 to 57%.

      3. yes, but technically they were probably still students. They do like to drag out their tertiary education in Europe.

        1. Yep. And I think they still have national service in Spain, so that postpones proper adulthood for another year or two.

    3. I believe Chuck Schumer has never had a job either. Straight from Harvard Law to the NY State Assembly, to the US House of Representatives, to the US Senate.

      1. Holy fuck you weren’t kidding. He was elected before he even passed the bar.

  11. So the Sandy Hook shooting was perpetrated by American WWII soldiers?

    At least it’s nice to see these dipshit teachers and administrators brought to light. I’m sure this stuff was happening before, it just wasn’t being reported.

    Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act proposed in Maryland

    1. You laugh, but if gun control advocates had their way, you wouldn’t be able to buy an airwoft gun much less a real one. As the Pop-Tart gun huff shows, it’s not really about making anything safer–it’s about control. Control over people’s possessions, actions, and thoughts. The Pop-Tart thing is more about controlling thoughts, or at least molding “proper” patterns of thought in people’s minds early on so they grow up to be “respectable” citizens.

    2. Students could also form their fingers in the shape of a gun without fear of reprisal.

      That’s taking “Gun Freedom” too far. The bill will never pass.

  12. SOunds like a pretty solid plan to me dude.

    1. Just mailin’it in now, eh anonobot?

      1. E-mailing it in, amirite?

  13. decorated cupcakes they sent to school for the boy to celebrate his birthday

    This whole episode is replete with evil! Aren’t school *cupcakes* illegal in the first place? And what about the othering of kids who don’t celebrate birthdays?

    1. Jehovah’s Witnesses? I think they other themselves.

  14. Where’s the AM links? Are they a victim of reason‘s solidarity sequester?

    1. Due to the introduction of DST, they’re not coming until 10:00 AM.

  15. Like 9-year-old pay attention to the news? I bet they think Sandy Hook is what happens when you leave your fishing gear on the beach.

    1. and “San Diego” happens when you leave your waffle on the beach!

  16. What kind of crappy government indoctrination center doesn’t support army men? It’s not like they were civilian figures holding guns.

  17. Funny, I did not hear of any public schools expressing such outrage when a kid’s birthday cake had been festooned with federals apres the incineration at Waco.

    1. The children and infants at Waco were allegedly being molested and if allegedly being molested isn’t begging to die then nothing is.

  18. Progressives are busy villifying the army because it’s one of the few power structures they don’t control. They villify guns in the hands of civilians because they limit a citizen’s dependence on government.

  19. Just how many damn land mines were there? They always gave you enough minesweepers to staff a plastic division.

  20. I, for one, am shock – SHOCKED! – they still make those green plastic WWII army men.

    1. They had M-16’s in WWII – I think not. When I was in ROTC in 1966 – 1970 we only got M-16’s at summer camp. WWII army men carried M-1’s, BAR’s and bazookas, not M-16’s and LAW’s.

  21. Here is how it should have went:

    Susan Wright: Hi, I’m Susan Wright, principal of Michigan’s Schall Elementary School, and I’m calling to express my outrage at how you decorated your son’s birthday cupcakes.

    9 year old’s parents: Fuck off and die in a fire…CUNT!

    The end.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.