Sequestration

Covered at Reason 24/7: Obama Says Sequester Dumb, Republicans' Fault

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President Obama called the sequester, automatic spending reductions he signed into law in the summer of 2011, a dumb idea that was happening because of Republicans. The reductions were set to kick in on January 1st, at the "fiscal cliff," but were delayed for two months by Congress. They're scheduled to be phased in starting sometime today (by midnight, according to statute).

From NBC News:

Lamenting the idea that only a "Jedi mind meld" could prod the GOP into compromise, President Barack Obama said Friday that the "dumb" automatic across-the-board cuts going into effect today are the fault of Republican resistance to a reasonable deal to avert the sequestration's budget reductions. 

"I know that this has been some of the conventional wisdom that's been floating around Washington," Obama told reporters after meeting with congressional leaders. "Even though most people agree that I'm being reasonable, that most people agree that I am presenting a fair deal— the fact that [Republicans] don't take it means that I should somehow do a Jedi mind meld with these folks and convince them to do what's right," he said. 

The force is weak with that one? Apparently the buck stops wherever the president wants it to.

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  1. wait a minute – if the GOP agreed to something that Obama signed, is that not a signal of some sort of compromise?

    1. Obama signing the Budget Control Act of 2011 (sequestration)

      Note the lack of TEAM Red or guns to Barry’s head.

  2. Jedi mind-meld? I knew he was faking that geek cred.

    1. Remember Sarah Palin is the stupid American politician.

      1. I love hearing people say how Palin is stupid because she claimed she could see Russia from her house…

        1. I can see anything from my house with the interwebz

          1. I can see 93,000,000 miles away from my house.

            1. I can see a hell of a lot farther than than from my house.

              1. I know it’s not as far, but can you see the center of the earth from your house, or are you in another part of Tampa Bay?

                Also, is it too soon to go down this path?

                1. It’s a town near Tampa, and the guy is dead. Like Neil Armstrong, asshole.

                  Anyway, I can see a good number of light years from my house.

      2. stupid American politician

        Redundant?

    2. Yeah it makes y geek senses cringe to read that.

        1. Huh. Maybe there’s something to redoing Star Wars as a Star Trek episode.

          1. You take that back. Do you hear me? You fucking take that back!

            1. I see you didn’t click on the link.

              1. Why would I? It’s probably some “Spock as Skywalker” photo with a green alien chick as Leia and a tribble as Chewbacca. Not sure who Han Solo would be. McCoy, maybe?

                Either way, I still demand that you take it back.

                1. You’re missing out sloop.

                  1. OK, I took a look. Sonny Bono dressed as Spock with a big-tittied Cher fondling herself isn’t my idea of good, clean cross-branding.

                    I will not be in my bunk.

                1. Um, every person that ever watched Star Trek knows the women had underwear matching their uniform.

          2. Star Wars could all be just Riker’s holodeck dream! That’s genius, ProL!

            1. holy hell.

              Ok Smarty Pants reconcile THIS:
              Star Wars
              vs.
              Star Trek

              1. Chewbacca rips Spock’s arms out of their sockets when he loses?

            2. I say do it like Wizard of Oz, where everything starts in a gray Federation universe, with Kirk having a dream (or was it?) about a colorful Star Wars universe. A musical, too, with all of the classic Shatner hits and Nimoy singing the “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.”

              1. And Ramble On.

              2. ok, im sold.

              3. And one other thing Pro. Will there be a Christmas Special?

                1. Of course! Too bad Bea Arthur is gone. Who can take her place?

                  1. Betty White

                2. THERE WAS NO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

                  *sobs*

                  1. I watched it. On air, first (and only, I imagine) run. As a kid. Made me a libertarian.

                    1. I’m still waiting for the Rifftrax version to come out.

          3. The only way that would be any good is if a 20 year old Carrie Fisher and 25 year old Nichelle Nichols made out. And I just don’t see how they would work that into an episode storyline.

            1. Check the link I posted above. Not exactly what you said, but close.

        2. NSFW, in case anybody was curious…

          1. They have Spock wearing a gold command shirt?

            WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

  3. By Obama’s logic, he could place a nuclear weapon in Times Square with a timer set to April 1st and the only way to disarm it being by balancing the budget, and it would entirely be the Republicans’ fault if it went off.

    1. If I don’t get a tax increase I’m going to blow this thing! Their blood will be on your hands!

  4. Jedi mind meld

    He’s so fucking stupid he mixes Star Trek with Star Wars? Holy shit.

    1. If this isn’t grounds for impeachment, I don’t know what is.

      1. honestly this was my first reaction as i read it.

        1. It’s like confusing communism and capitalism or the U.S. and Canada–it simply isn’t done.

          1. Or calling an open-faced calzone “pizza”. I mean, who is that stupid?

              1. Sigh.

          2. These aren’t the Tellarites you’re looking for.

          3. Or confusing JJ Abrams with JJ Abrams.

          4. It’s like Mayor Quimby telling Leonard Nimoy “May the force be with you.”

    2. In fairness, he was smoking a lot of dope in the Choom Gang when those movies came out.

      1. There is no fairness. “Jedi mind trick” is such a classic phrase that if you fuck it up, you are an abject moron or you’re 90 years old. And “Vulcan mind meld” may be a nerd phrase extraordinaire, but somehow he know enough to say it, yet still said it wrong. That’s extra crispy fried stupid. Or 90 years old. Take your pick.

        1. He’s now officially an idiot. He was one before, but this is worse than 57 states in our culture.

          I fear I must cast my pot shard for ostracism.

        2. Definitely 90 years old. Have you seen how high up he hikes his mom jeans?

        3. My grandmother was in her 90s when she died a few years ago, and she wouldn’t have fucked that up. You really have to be a fucking moron. A real moron to have lived in this country the last 30 years and fucked that cliche up.

          1. Maddow, Mathews, O’Donnel and the other high school student body council refuges will be oblivious that there was even a mistake made. You think D&D dice rollers had no life in high school? Try student council member on for size.

        4. We don’t have the midi-chlorians to get out of the Kabayashi Maru situation that the his fraking Earthgov has set up, anyway.

        5. C’mon, he can’t even name a real player from his favorite team and you want him to be up on imaginary stuff?

    3. Mixing Star Trek with Star Wars will soon be legal in California.

      1. It’s unnatural and wrong! Let’s start a proposition to ban it!

        1. For once, I think the statist solution is the correct one. Destroy everything and everyone who cross the streams.

          1. Hey, is there a petition for the president and vice president to resign?

            1. As an anarchist, I pray for a Biden presidency. He would not be worse than Obama, but without the affirmative action grading curve, his mistakes would prove costly for the legitimacy of the office.

              1. I’d agree, but I can just see him accidentally nuking something.

                1. Like DuPont. Just for the lulz.

          2. Zapp: The court is intrigued. Perhaps we could hear more about these forbidden words from someone with a sexily seductive voice.

            Takei: With pleasure. You see, the show was banned after the Star Trek wars.

            Zapp: You mean after the vast migration of Star Wars fans?

            Nichols: No, that was the Star Wars trek. By the 23rd century, Star Trek fandom had evolved from a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full-blown religion.

      2. What if Disney buys Star Trek? I’m sure they’re working on it.

        1. Then anything is possible.

  5. I’m not well versed in either of those mythologies, but even I know it’s a Vulcan mind-meld; and a Jedi mind-trick.

    1. WTF do you mean ‘mythologies’?

  6. Noone can possibly repel logic of that magnitude.

  7. The President is dedicated to the proposition that he, at any time or in any place or in any way, is responsible for absolutely nothing.

    1. You almost wonder if his whole goal is to troll liberals. If I wanted to have a political career based on the premise of “how can I get liberals to defend and believe the most ridiculous things” it wouldn’t look much different than Obama’s career.

      1. You would almost have to start liking the guy 🙂

        1. it is its own version of “Trading Places” with two old guys betting on how much shit the Obamatrons will eat before saying enough.

        2. Except for all the murder and spying.

  8. This gets more and more fun. What a fucking clown.

    1. We’re going to have to dip into the Strategic Popcorn Reserve if this goes any further.

      1. I save the Guatemalan chilli-corn kernel hybrids soaked in macadamia nut oil for just these occasions.

  9. So I looled a thread earlier and somehow got automatically redirected to the reason SurveyMonkey survey on mobile use of the reason sites. I actually filled it out but when I got to what I assume was the last page, an advertisement obcured most of the survey questions and answers. And I’m not even sure my responses to the previous pages were recorded. Not sure what this says about reason’s mobile friendliness.

    1. reason’s mobile friendliness

      Independently, I understand all three of those words. But together, I just can’t make sense of that phrase.

      1. Think “hookers on mopeds.”

  10. “Most people who are my fervent fans and staff members agree with me that I’m right and the Republicans are wrong.”

    1. How can these people keep think they are right when they are obviously wrong? Everyone says they are wrong so they must be wrong? Why can’t they just learn that they are wrong? People keep telling them that, but they just never get it. I don’t understand. Just agree with the people who are right. it’s so obvious.

  11. He also talked about how he doesn’t want the bill that would give him the authority to decide the cuts.

    He’s also reporting the polls wrong. It’s one of those situations where a plurality of people say that they prefer Obama’s position if the position isn’t stated, but the majority of people prefer “mostly” or “all” cuts to the 50-50 compromise of tax hikes and cuts he’s offering.

    The Republican position being, “Hey, you just got your tax hikes two months ago, so this number of cuts (roughly similar in magnitude to the tax hikes, not counting the payroll tax holiday) is a compromise already.”

    1. It’s time that the GOP just says no to Obama and nothing else. Except for yes to massive spending cuts.

    2. This is why they are attacking Woodward so hard. The lies are getting so deep and so obvious they can’t afford for anyone to point them out.

      1. Have you looked on Andrew Sullivan’s site lately? He has a big post hyperventiating about how Woodward wasn’t really threatened by anyone at the white house, so obviously he’s no better than a birther now. As I said, this just gets more and more fun.

        1. I am not surprised. But Sullivan doesn’t have anything except being a hack for Obama. Everyone on the right hates his guts. If Obama is ever discredited, what does he have?

          1. If Obama is ever discredited, what does hethe establishment media have?

            all better.

        2. You read Sullivan’s site? That’s super gay. Are you trying to take my gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown tiara away from me?

          1. Sometimes I just say, “Today, I wanna play at being gay, OK?”

            1. That is what they told me at that English Boarding school my parents sent me too. But I never believed them.

              1. Some people see CS Lewis as a fundie but his autobiographical account of the butt shenanigans going on in his boarding school years was both flippant and funny.

  12. It’s a Romulan Mind Meld stupid. Get your sci-fi straight!

    1. Er Vulcan. Same diff.

      1. THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE TO YOU, HUH?

        1. Oh shit, now you’ve gone and set him off. This is like the time ProL didn’t understand what was different about being white on the right side.

          1. ALL OF HIS PEOPLE ARE WHITE ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

            1. And by right, he means correct, and the correct side is the ‘out’side.

          2. You mean like Ben Kenobi?

            1. That crazy old wizard is dead.

        2. Specieist!

          1. “What do you mean you people?”

  13. I look forward to the day that I and my family moves away from DC, so that I can relish the moment when a meteorite comes and wipes DC from the face of the fucking universe.

    1. Think sinkholes. Or maybe volcanoes.

      1. I, for one, would like to see all of the biblical plagues visited upon DC.

        1. The craven and narcissistic mendacity of these people is truly criminal. People’s lives are in their very hands, day and day out, but it’s just one big, fucking game to them.

          If someone gets hurt or killed, or an entire family’s fortunes are wiped out? Oh well, that’s too bad, but since this tragedy personally benefited them or their TEAM, it’s all good. And if they can exploit someone’s suffering to their benefit, TERRIFIC.

          I wish nothing but the worst and most painful fates upon them.

          1. Spock was right–our problem is that we can’t feel the pain of all the people who are suffering around us.

      2. Think sinkholes. Or maybe volcanoes.

        It’s agreed then: meteorite, sinkhole and then followed by a volcano.

        It’s the only way to be sure.

      3. I like volcanoes too. But they form because of an earthquake that releases pre-historic animals as well. Dinosaurs start to ransack DC, stomping and eating Congress. Giant scorpions swarm and devour the Supreme Court. A flock of pterodactyls swoops in on POTUS and his cabinet. The cabinet is flown off and dropped into a volcano. Meanwhile POTUS is flown back to the pterodactyl nest where he is ripped apart, and fed to baby pterodactyls.

        Now there is some “Hope” I can believe in.

  14. Obama Says Sequester Dumb, Republicans’ Fault

    Well, in his defense he is half right.

    1. See, when you’re one of the parties to a compromise, that means you’re to blame, too. This is past stupid.

      1. Yep. I mean, who in their right mind isn’t just saying, “Fuck all of them. They’re all to blame.”

        I mean, this is parody-level stupid. “Deep-dish is real pizza”-level stupid. IOW, par for the course in Washington.

        1. I’d be willing to give up deep dish for a minarchy.

        2. Who cares if it’s “real pizza” if it tastes good?

          1. Who cares if it’s “real pizza” if it tastes good?

            Look, the science is settled, goddammit. You dishers make me sick.

            1. I say we put them in camps for orderly disposal, Ken.

              1. Yes, that’s about your speed–human pizza.

                1. Soylent green is thin crust!

        3. I believe you meant to say “”Thin crust is real pizza”-level stupid”, right?

          1. I WILL RAISE THE FLAG OF DEEP DISH ON YOUR GRAVES, HERETICS!

            1. And yet, earlier you said that fried communion wafers might make you think about converting to Catholicism. I’ll have you know there are no deep dish communion wafers.

              1. I read that are “fried communism wafers”

  15. when you deem the same cuts you signed off on as dumb and arbitrary, what are we to think of you?

  16. What if Obama threw a crisis and nobody came?

  17. This whole thing is a big joke being played on anyone gullible and stupid enough to believe it.

    There is NO effort on either party to actually reduce government, at any level. This fake ‘sequester’ is utterly inconsequential. BOth parties are having fun pretending it matters and pretending that anything negative about it is the other guys fault.

    Who the fuck actually believes any of this nonsense? (Besides Robert Reich of course)

    1. I think is what is happening here is Obama fucked up. He proposed sequestration figuring he could bully the Republicans into rolling over. Well for whatever reason the Republicans didn’t cave. And now he has a real problem. Spending is about to be cut and no one is going to notice.

      1. He overestimated the power of the pro-military spending wing of the party. (And the related Appropriator pro-all spending wing of the party.) Actually fairly understandable, given the GOP behavior for the preceding 12 years.

        1. You would agree that understandable or not, this was a serious miscalculation on his part and that is why his sycophants in the media are going so insane?

      2. He proposed sequestration figuring he could bully the Republicans into rolling over.

        Ever since I read that min-maxing article on Obama, I’ve begun to understand this sort of thing a lot more. Campaigning is all he has. It makes sense if you rephrase your sentence like this:

        “He campaigned for sequestration figuring he could campaign the Republicans into rolling over.”

      3. There are no spending cuts, only a reduction in spending increases.

        Instead of springing for the Ferrari the government can’t afford, they’re springing for the Lexus the government can’t afford and calling it a cut.

        1. That is not true. There are no “overall spending cuts”. But most certainly are cuts to a lot of different programs. Just because entitlements are still increasing doesn’t mean other things are not being cut, they are.

          1. Yeah, yeah, a bajillion teachers will lose their jobs, a quadrillion cops will be outgunned, a zazillion children will starve, pigs will fly, frogs will down from the sky, dogs and cats will live together.

            1. No. Every discretionary program will spend 2% less or whatever it is. Basically a bunch of federal employees will lose one day of pay for a few weeks. That is it.

              1. Wow. That’s terrible. Just terrible. My heart goes out to those poor, suffering .gov workers who will lose one day of pay. Imagine the economic consequences if one day of pay is missed. Grocery stores will shutdown. Mechanics will be put out of work. Babysitters and daycare owners will be put out of work.

                War, pestilence, famine, death, the usual.

          2. That’s what makes the sequester worth doing. The fact that it actually is actualy cuts.

    2. I can’t wait for the real kick in the ballsack that comes when the sequester ends and all employees are given back pay for their missed days. I may just lose my fucking shit when that happens.

      1. Not going to happen. They won’t start furloughing people until this summer. And it will only be a few days. That is the funny part, the actual pain won’t happen until June and by then America’s ADD population will have moved on to another story.

        1. Judging by my links below, I’d be shocked if they aren’t given back pay.

          1. They got back pay back in the 1990s. But I think what is more likely is that the whole thing will be undone as part of a CR deal at the end of the month and no one will ever actually be furloughed.

            1. This.

              The Republicans and D’s will come to some sort of spending agreement that continues to spend more money and not raise taxes and not do anything about entitlements.

      2. all employees are given back pay for their missed days

        That’s an actual thing??? What the fuck!

        1. Yes, that’s what usually happened when there’s a furlough, at least when there’s a CR. It’s a big vacation for the employees. Depends on Congress authorizing it, and the House might not go along.

        2. Yes, it is an actual thing.

          And for those that want more than one example, here you go.

          Fucking pathetic.

  18. don’t worry, Obama. Republicans aren’t serious about budget cuts, either

    1. No. They are evil government hating individualists. Didn’t you hear?

  19. Due to the sequester there will be unbombed Pakistani weddings, farmers not being harassed as frequently by bureaucrats, and federal prosecutors not being able to ruin as many lives! It will be anarchy, ANARCHY!!!!!

    1. Romulans and Jedi Sleeping together, mass hysteria!

  20. How to be an Anarchist (according to HuffPaint):

    Mix one part Republican, one part Tea Party, some Christianity, and a twist of Objectivism.

    The March 1 sequester budget cuts are yet another product of crises manufactured by the ultra-conservative wing of the Republican Party. These Tea Party extremists have one objective: crush the federal government. Motivated by a strange brew of Old Testament Christianity and Ayn Rand’s “objectivism,” they’re a lethal force within the GOP — anarchists.

    What should President Obama do? The Republican Party has been taken over by anarchists, Tea Party extremists who do not believe in government. As University of California linguistics professor George Lakoff observed, “They believe that Democracy gives them the liberty to seek their own self-interests by exercising personal responsibility, without having responsibility for anyone else or anyone else having responsibility for them.” Republican anarchists reject the founders’ morality, the sentiments that produced the Declaration of Independence and U.S. Constitution. These ultra conservatives don’t believe in the common good or the notion that Americans have a moral responsibility to care for each other. The Republican anarchist motto is, “I’m for me, first.” (Ayn Rand’s objectivism and glorified self-interest.)

    1. They believe that Democracy gives them the liberty to seek their own self-interests by exercising personal responsibility, without having responsibility for anyone else or anyone else having responsibility for them.”

      Wow. Just wow. To reject that proposition is to embrace totalitarian madness. If people cannot claim to be responsible for themselves only, that means the society must force responsibility upon them and essentially control everyone and everything.

    2. That’s so stupid I think it gave me cancer.

      1. Great. And now you expect us taxpayers to foot the bill for your treatment?

      2. THIS^

    3. OMG, George Lakoff, before it was only like 90%, but now you are 100% dead to me. I’m going to burn some of your books now.

      1. Uh,

        “They believe that Democracy gives them the liberty to seek their own self-interests by exercising personal responsibility, without having responsibility for anyone else or anyone else having responsibility for them.”

        That’s pretty much exactly what I believe. Or as a much wiser man put it:

        And I ain’t askin’ nobody for nothing
        If I can’t get it on my own
        If you don’t like the way I’m livin’
        You just leave this long haired country boy alone

      2. It’s like these people live in a world that’s a parody of our own.

        So, this voluntary cooperation thing…ever give a shot there, Georgie boy? We can only cooperate through compulsion or coersion?

        If you weren’t an anarchist before reading that, you might be now.

    4. I quote this without shame or irony:

      “Live for yourself
      There’s no one else more worth living for
      Begging hands and bleeding hearts
      Will only cry out for more”

      And I donate to various charities and give freely of my own time to help others and make the workd a better place. But I will jot accept that otgers have any

      1. That doesn’t count to people like Lakoff. To people like him there is no life or existence outside of the government. This is what totalitarianism actually looks like.

      2. Holy fuck, squirrels. 70% of the time I have to click reload and click submit 2 or 3 times just to gwt tou off your asses and post my comment. Except, apparently, when I fatfinger the subkit key.

        To continue: I will not accept that others have a legitimate right to force me to take responsibility for anyone else, nor that I have any legitimate right to force another to support me.

    5. They believe that Democracy gives them the liberty to seek their own self-interests by exercising personal responsibility, without having responsibility for anyone else or anyone else having responsibility for them.”

      Goddammit.

      All I want is to be left the fuck alone to pursue my own ends.

      And though they couch their “philosophy” in “having responsibility” for others, what they really care about is taking my money to use for their own ends.

      1. It makes you want to go out and burn down Lakoff’s house doesn’t it?

        1. More like burn down my own house and sue Lakoff for not rushing over to put it out.

          1. this^ Summarizes the irrational mindset of the collectivist succinctly. How if you embrace the total state as he does can he believe whatever he has tasked for himself to do this afternoon does not violate the tenet that he belongs to the state? Forget winding down and enjoying a flick and some port, bitch. Your work isn’t done, and that time you are spending pursuing your own interest is practically stealing from the state.

      2. They believe that Democracy gives them the liberty to seek their own self-interests by exercising personal responsibility, without having responsibility for anyone else or anyone else having responsibility for them.

        MY GOD THOSE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY AND DANGEROUS!…

        Wait a fucking second. This guy says it like its a *bad* thing? Or that anyone reading that “analysis” would naturally go, “Dear god, not that!!”

        I mean, its like he assumes *any intelligent person* naturally finds any of the ideas of John Locke, Thomas Paine, Ben F. , Tommy J, et al…. DANGEROUS AND UNAMERICAN? Because the REAL values of America are… uh…. Wilsonian, Rooseveltian, and Good ol Pork Barrel Lyndon Johnson. Welfare State Uber Alles!

        Where he gets to “rejects the Declaration & Constitution”…. its all just a pile of gibberish. That sort of HuffPo understanding of conventional ‘small government’ thinking is so retarded and delusional as to be comic. Protocols of the Elders-level Stupid.

        1. “I mean, its like he assumes *any intelligent person* naturally finds any of the ideas of John Locke, Thomas Paine, Ben F. , Tommy J, et al…. DANGEROUS AND UNAMERICAN?”

          No, he does not. He’s apparently from an alternate universe where those people were collectivist totalitarians.

    6. I know a lot of Anarchists who were just seriously insulted.

      1. Yes, is “mature” political discourse, calling someone an Anarchist doesn’t require you to know anything about Anarchism.

        1. Most of the people I know who call themselves Anarchists are on the extreme left.

          They are the sort of anarchists who were rioting in Greece because their welfare benefits got cut.

    7. To totalitarians, anything sort of totalitarianism is anarchy.

  21. Don’t even get me started on how many abortions will go unsubsidized. I called my Congressman this morning to make sure they pass a law to allow late term abortions up to 8.5 months for women who were denied access due to sequester cuts.

  22. One thing I like about budget “cuts” is how the lefties and “anarchists” (I’m not refering to GOP) let the mask slip. How can any sort of free society exist in the statist and collectivist society they advocate?

    So much for fiscal responsibility or civil rights.

    1. See Lakoff above. He is saying that no one who advocates any kind of personal responsibility or any duty to anything beyond to collective can be tolerated.

      1. John,

        The tribe is life. Outside of the tribe is only suffering and death.

  23. No, fuck you, cut spending.

  24. Where is the video of the press corps bursting into laughter when Obama spouts this shit?

    I swear the media has become Mean Gene Okerlund. Sticking a mike into the face of ranting idiots while keeping a straight face.

  25. “Where is the video of the press corps bursting into laughter when Obama spouts this shit?”

    It exists, if you mean by “laughter”, “fawning worship”.

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