Moneyball in the Workplace

Employment personality tests have evolved from phrenology to Facebook.


Forget the prestigious college degree. Skip the unpaid internship at a respected company. Those things are headed the way of fancy résumé paper. In the future, whether or not you land your dream gig will depend more on how often your retweets get retweeted, how far you live from the office, or how you answer multiple-choice questions designed to assess your empathy, sociability, and ability to deal with repetitive tasks in highly regulated environments.

Companies such as Xerox, The Wall Street Journal recently reported, now pay more attention to a candidate's "personality" than they do to his work experience—at least when they're looking for people to staff their customer service call centers. Such screenings are not only about temperament. Employers are also evaluating how a worker's commute might affect his loyalty and which social networks he participates in. With mountains of data at their fingertips, work force analytics consultants can now determine what attributes and propensities are associated with success in a given position. If you possess those attributes and propensities, congratulations, you start on Monday.

This is not an entirely new development. In 1830 George Combe, one of England's most prominent phrenologists, explained that he could tell if a prospective servant was conscientious or untrustworthy by examining the bumps and bulges on his head. Nearly a century later, advocates of deterministic skull measurement continued to tout its potential as a human resources tool, with a letter writer in The Phrenological Journal describing it as an efficiency tool on par with typewriters and telephones. "It seems but a short time in the future," the correspondent suggested hopefully, "when our favorite Science will have the confidence of business men to such an extent that an applicant will be asked, 'Have you a scientific description of your Mental and Physical qualities?'?"

Given contemporary harassment laws, extended head fondling as a means of assessing potential hires should probably be avoided. But while phrenology never caught on in the workplace, the desire to take a quick, quantitative, predictive measure of would-be workers never died. As Annie Murphy Paul documents in her 2004 book The Cult of Personality Testing, psychometric visionaries throughout the 20th century invented instruments such as the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) in their efforts to map the human psyche. Business interests saw the utility of these tools, which sort disparate individuals into more general stock-keeping categories that are easier to track and manage.

Like George Combe, commercial outfits that adopted tests like the MMPI and MBTI hoped to divine the intrinsic nature of potential employees. Were they honest or deceitful? Were they dependable, obedient, outgoing? Or would they take a lot of sick days, spend too much time at lunch, and steal company property?

While critics have repeatedly challenged the efficacy of these tests, today's advocates say the evaluation process has fundamentally changed because so much more data are available. Imagine, for example, a database of 10,000 individuals who have proven themselves to be effective call-center employees. A company might have access to their personality test results, their training records, the performance metrics that are kept on them each month as they go about their jobs, and so on. Data scientists analyze this information in myriad ways, eventually detecting useful trends. 

Employees who live within 10 minutes of the office may be 20 percent likelier to stay at the company at least six months than ones who live 45 minutes away or further. Employees who have a college degree may be less inclined to stick with a call-center job than those who do not. According to The Wall Street Journal, Evolv, the company assisting Xerox in its recruitment efforts, determined that the ideal candidate to staff the company's call centers "uses one or more social networks, but not more than four." 

As more companies adopt this approach to recruitment, expect a parallel push to expand employee protection laws. Not getting a job because your car is 12 years old or because you live 40 miles away from the office may not seem as unjust as not getting a job because of your race, sex, or religious beliefs, but it's still untethered to performance and comportment.

Yet ultimately what this approach represents is a move away from the white-collar shamanism that informs traditional hiring practices—the ritual of the firm handshake, the incantatory power of résumé action verbs like iterate and prioritize. In contrast, work force analytics aims to scrutinize call-center employees as closely as post-Moneyball general managers scrutinize shortstops, using as many quantifiable characteristics as possible. "The hourly workforce is tremendous in the richness of data available to evaluate," an Evolv white paper reads. "For a given hourly employer there are billions and sometimes trillions of data points that can be systematically evaluated to understand and then optimize the workforce."

While surveillance of such magnitude may conjure grim visions of intrusively, oppressively optimized cubicle serfs desperately trying to meet call quotas, there are liberating, empowering aspects to this kind of data analysis. For example, by analyzing thousands of work histories, Evolv determined that there is "very little relationship between the number of jobs an employee has held and their current tenure," and that "companies that screen out job hoppers and the unemployed have been needlessly limiting their candidate pool." Even more strikingly, Evolv suggests that while many companies refuse to hire applicants who have criminal records, including some who have only been arrested, its analysis shows that "crimes committed before a person entered the workforce had no predictive value for any counterproductive workplace behaviors," and that "people with records who stay arrest-free for four to five years are only as likely as the average person to be arrested again." 

While Evolv specializes in hourly workforces, other companies are applying similar techniques to other sectors. SHL, a London-based firm that specializes in "talent management solutions," used data "from almost 4 million assessments in close to 200 countries" to determine what characteristics define employees with top-level leadership potential and where the greatest reserves of such individuals can be found. Among its conclusions: Mexico, Turkey, and Egypt "have the greatest source of potential future leaders." In addition, SHL found that while the "difference in leadership potential for women and men is less than 1 percent, men hold senior positions 3 to 1 over women."

In this new world of data-driven hiring practices, Ivy League degrees and résumés that boast stints at marquee companies won't matter as much as new metrics that have been designed to show a person's fundamental attributes and abilities over time. In theory, at least, more people will have more opportunities as Big Data reveals that talent can come from anywhere.

Of course, as the Moneyballization of the workplace proceeds, what this also means is that soon we'll no longer be able to hide our career .290 on-base percentage with an artfully worded résumé. Our proficiencies and weaknesses will be far more transparent, just as they've been for professional athletes ever since baseball card publishers started routinely printing statistics on the backs of cards in the early 1950s. 

While such transparency will punish employees who aren't quite living up to their reputations, it will benefit those who are truly providing value. More important, it will help companies operate more efficiently, which will in turn provide benefits to us all.  

NEXT: Karzai Claims US Special Forces Behind Torture, Murder in Afghanistan

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  1. Or you could look for a job in a company that doesn’t have a Human Resources bureaucracy.

    1. Re: juris imprudent,

      Or you could look for a job in a company that doesn’t have a Human Resources bureaucracy.

      You mean a job like Congressman?

    2. You know who else didn’t have a Human Resources department….

      1. ISIS? I mean it’s only person.

        1. But she counts as like, four…

      2. 101 Dalmatians?

    3. Heck, you could even stop looking for a job at all and find customers who will trade their money for your products and services.

      Now I have to read the other 346 comments.

  2. I guess I have fucked my chances of landing a dream job by posting here. Or maybe sealed it. Almost any potential employer who looks up my past rants on Reason would not let me on their property. That’s ok cuz I probably wouldnt like them either.

    Employer: I found your posts on Reason.com. You are an asshole.

    Me: Thanks. You are an asshole too. But you seem to be my kind of asshole.

    Employer: Yep. Same here. You are hired.

    *firm handshake*

    1. Years ago when I first started posting here, I worked on assignment to assignment basis for different companies, so my background would get checked frequently. Even though I have a steady paycheck now, I learned the habit of making sure not much got out there that I didn’t want out there. The biggest problem that has come up in previous checks is I share an uncommon name name and a similar zip code to someone who lost his professional license due to misconduct in a field I don’t even have any respect for much less practiced in.

      1. So you’re the other William Clinton from Arkansas?

        1. Oh, do I wish! Anybody this side of Charlie Sheen ever got more publicaly rewarded for being a rascal?

          Iimagine what that must be like. The owner of the local pool hall comes out of the backroom, slaps you on the back, “William Jefferson Clinton? You, motherfucker, cocaine is on the house!

          1. Yeah, that was a good one. A nice, quick jab.

            For the record, I respect what most lawyers do. Real estate, contract law, defense attorneys, and couldn’t imagine a world without them even in an ancap society.

            Psychiatry is the field I give absolutely no credence too. It’s a bad idea and emotionally unhealthy to talk to strangers about your problems and hang-ups.

            1. Why do you hate bartenders, Killaz?

              1. I can never get a decent appletini.

            2. Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother, Killaz.

              1. My mother? Let me tell you about my mother.

            3. You mean psychology/psychotherapy. Psychiatrists are physicians. Though some psychiatrists still do psychotherapy, most are involved in medical treatment of symptoms of mental illness. In doing that, they really aren’t as interested in your personal problems and hang-ups — but care more about your mood lability (or lack thereof), cognitive status, presence of psychosis, changes in energy, appetite and sleep patterns, than what you might think about your parents.

              1. Well, let me amend that:

                It’s a bad idea and emotionally physically unhealthy to talk to strangers about your problems and hang-ups because they may want to proscribe you poisons to take that will eat away at your organs and idle your mind.

      2. My name is the same as the name of a Sex Offender in Brisbane (Australia.. of course)…. or was it that I was the sex offender, either way it was discrimination and i took it up with FairWork Australia who landed me a job as a Transport Officer with government subsidized Super….

      3. The biggest problem that has come up in previous checks is I share an uncommon name name and a similar zip code to someone who lost his professional license due to misconduct

        So you say.

    2. How would they find your posts on Reason? Assuming you weren’t using your real name or posting from one of their connections, which would be very…. brave.

      1. Email in his ID. You wont be able to find much on Google because they filter that sort of search out for general public use. That doesn’t stop someone who knows what they are doing to find every association on the public web that uses that address though.

        1. Not to mention if he’s using his work computer and going through their VPN, the IT department could track his internet activity.

          1. Yeah, that would be “brave” as I said. Not sure if that’s the right word.

            1. Most IT departments don’t track to this level. They’re looking at if you’re browsing websites, and how much.

              The only time they really look at the particular website is if the website itself were ‘inappropriate’.

              Most it managers would just go to ‘reason.com’ thinking to themselves, “What the fuck is this?”, then they’d see it was a general snarky news and infotainment site and either shrug, or, yes, maybe be horrified if you worked for say, Apple Corp.

              Very few IT people digging through your internet activity are going to try to figure out what comments you posted on the website. Only that you kept refreshing the page https://www.reason.com/blog/%5Bpostname%5D

              1. When at home, or phone-surfing, I always go to Wikipedia’s main page before going to the web email server, or any other site where I will be easily ID’ed by the uni. Just in case they’re saving hte “last visited site” data.

        2. You’ve been using a valid e-mail in your ID?

      2. “How would they find your posts on Reason?”


        Tulpa…. *sigh*

        Never mind.

      3. “How would they find your posts on Reason?”

        That is possible, but a bit tricky now. Most people post through an ISP that uses DHCP. DHCP dynamically (the “D”) assigns an IP address to the user. The ISP can certainly keep track of who was assigned what IP address and when, but I wouldn’t assume, for now, or in the past, they could really do that. I can be done, don’t get me wrong. But for now the IT gurus with the capacity to set up a reliable tracking system have been too busy deploying the web infrastructure to bother with this. It’s not today or this year, but there will come a time when you’d better be careful or just identify yourself.

    3. Employer: I noticed your facebook friends with someone who is facebook friends who posted the following:
      “I just voted the first time in my life, for a republican.”
      Me: Um, no, that is just my friends developmentally disabled brother.
      Employer: I am a Latino American and I find that offensive.
      Me: I assure you I voted democrat.
      Employer: We are tolerant people here, we do not tolerate those you tolerate those who tolerate intolerance. We have many Latinos working here and they need to feel included, you aren’t hired.
      Me: Fuck you, I’m voting for the socialist party.
      Employer: Ha, how do you think I got my job?

  3. My god, I hope this isn’t what I wind up doing when I finish my masters in statistics.

  4. Companies such as Xerox, The Wall Street Journal recently reported, now pay more attention to a candidate’s “personality” than they do to his work experience?at least when they’re looking for people to staff their customer service call centers.

    Doesn’t this actually make a lot of sense? I’d reckon they are more concerned with someone’s personality than work experience when that person is going to read from a script and have specific protocols to solve and customer issues.

    I sincerely doubt Zerox is doing the same for their engineering, product development or sales staff. If they are, they’re destined to be even less relevant that they’ve become in the last three decades.

    1. Does Xerox have any such departments anymore?

      1. Pretty sure they do. I’m not gonna say they develop anything cutting-edge but I’m sure they’re there.

    2. It would make sense, if the subject of what kind of tree you would want to be came up more often in customer service calls.

      1. You dope. Those questions are meant to make the respondent comfortable while they are also answering the real personality questions. That and they ask a similar question multiple times to measure consistency in your answers.

        1. It’s funny, the tree questions are the most nerve wracking for me.

          I had a BAD experience with an elm tree growing up.

      2. what kind of tree you would want to be

        I guess one has to answer “hanging tree” when one applies for a job with a debt collection agency.

        1. Money Tree!

      3. I think they are trying to find out if you are a crypto-Rush fan. Which makes sense because Rush sucks.

      4. “….what kind of tree you would want to be…”

        I assume there is really such a question and you arent being sarcastic?

        My answer: Tree? Why the fuck would I want to be a tree?

        1. Yes, there is (I was asked this in my HR interview, as opposed to the people-who-know-what-they’re-doing interview for my new job). And you have to be a tree or they write down that you’re difficult.

          1. Difficult? They would be correct.

            Except that sloopy is on to something with the Ent bit.
            I would be ok with being an Ent…

          2. True story — a guy who was a candidate to be the Chicago Cubs manager a few years back was asked during his interview what kind of tree he would be, and answered “A Cubs Tree.” He was hired.

            And you thought it was just bad luck that they haven’t won the World Series in 105 years.

              1. I dunno. I still like the “They are who we thought they were”

                1. Dennis Green’s thing, along with Jim Mora’s infamous “PLAYOFFS???!!!!” rant make for good one-liners. However you can’t beat Elia for three minutes of constant (mostly correct) pissed-offness at Cubs fans.

                  1. I’ve always wanted to manage a group of salespeople that were all new and have to present a report on our performance to a board of directors/executive team that had been griping about how they’ve done and basically give this rant with a few changes of phrase. It may cost me my job, but it would be legendary, and I can always get another job.

              2. That’s right up there with the infamous Earl Weaver interview…. Thanks, dude!

        2. Tree? Why the fuck would I want to be a tree?

          Because there’s no poem as lovely, silly goose!

      5. what kind of tree you would want to be

        What if “Ent” is on there? I’d probably check that.

        1. I want to be the Tree of Woe.

          1. You want to have beefy dudes nailed to you?


            1. Yes, as I’m a girl this seems good to me.

              1. This is why there are no female Libertarians.

        2. I would be the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil

          1. But…but you’re Canadian?

            1. so?

              1. You see, that was a test to see if you would be easily thrown off your game. You passed magnificently.

                BTW, care to wager a guess on when the Blackhawks lose in regulation? I’m thinking they have a letdown tonight and the Blue Jackets beat them 4-2.

                1. Blues on Thursday

                  1. No confidence in the Oilers?

                    1. They did very well agains the Coyotes without Hall, but the Blackhawks aren’t the Coyotes.

    3. Describe a time when you were angry with a co-worker and outline what steps you took to resolve the dispute.

      1. I arranged a lunch date in a nice restaurant where we could talk about our differences and come up with mutually beneficial solutions to our problems. To show my good intentions, I offered to pay for it. However, that morning the police showed up, confiscated his PC and they took him away as well. Later on, it was discovered that his hard drive contained movie files of twelve year old homeless boys fighting one another in the nude, and also detailed plans to kill the president.

        I went to the restaurant alone, and treated myself to a victory steak.

        1. Jesus Christ. And you’re sure your name’s not William Clinton?

      2. Hate that bullshit. He how about you ask me about the times when I’ve done all the shit on the job description you posted asshole.

        1. Not sure how he got in there. I blame my phone.

            1. There’s a superfluous ‘he’ in his post.
              How the hell do you do HyR from a phone???

              1. Not easily. You want to make sure you’re on the desktop version and not the mobile version for one. Also dont hit preview cause you’ll lose your comment. Always try and copy your comment before posting so you don’t have to retype if it screws up. It’s not ideal but it’s doable if you’re patient.

  5. The most depressing poll you are going to see today:


    1. Thanks a lot asshole. On top of facing the reality that Danica Patrick might win a cup race*, I now have to worry about the tingling left arm and blurry vision that graph brought on.

      *As if a restrictor plate race should count as anything but winning a fast parade.

      1. I now have to worry about the tingling left arm and blurry vision that graph brought on.

        sloopy = Reginald Barclay? Wouldn’t have guessed. I pictured you as more of a Wesley Crusher type.

        1. I pictured you as more of a Wesley Crusher type.

          Yeah, only because you have delusions of being The Traveler. Well no thanks.*


          1. “Boy, don’t ever say that again, especially not at your age in a world that’s not ready for such… such dangerous nonsense.”

    2. Fuck you Killaz. It is a beautiful day here and I was enjoying it. Was.

      I would have rather stabbed myself in the face with a rusty fork than see that.

      1. For a Sunday this has been an unusually productive day for me to feed on the hate.

  6. Fuck this shit. I think RooshV gave a pretty good commentary on this here:


  7. Actually, it will impose another burden on workers to satisfy the man in one more way. My social network(or lack thereof) is none of your goddamn business. I really don’t like other socializing with others very much, pretending their fucking interests are interesting. I guess Orwellian style control is okay when it’s done through the FREEE MARCKET!!!!! Maybe in libertopia this would be legal. It would also be legal to not hire women when they figure out that women are nothing but distractions. But it wouldn’t be moral. Fuck you.

    1. Let me guess, you’re autistic.

      1. In FTF socialization, you might have to feign interest in one or two hobbies or something to carry on a conversation with someone. In the Facebook world you have an inbox full of attention-whoring from your supposed friends waiting for you every day.

        1. Well, I’ve never used Facebook, so I’ll have to take your word for it. However, viewing an entire gender as “nothing but [a] distraction” is Rain Man-level shit.

          1. Ah, I was focusing on the wrong point.

            To be fair, the “women are a distration” view was long used by employers as a justification for discriminating against hiring women in this country. I don’t think they were all autists.

            1. No, some of them were just gay. 😛

          2. So you’f be okay with not getting a job because you don’t use facebook?

            1. Any employer that discriminates in the hiring process will be negatively impacted in the free market because they will not attract the highest quality employees. How fucking hard is that to figure out?

              Idiots like you think without government regulations, restaurants would still have “No Colored” signs out front because you don’t realize the power of the free market weeds out companies that discriminate.

              1. Doesn’t work in practice if the pool of applicants is huge compared to the jobs available and their fitness for the job is roughly equal. As the inverse of the old saying goes, philanthropists can be choosers.

            2. I’m not stupid enough to pursue a job in an industry where Facebook use is a criterion. And even if I were, if I didn’t get hired for a certain position, I wouldn’t go Dorner; I’d start my own business. That’s what free enterprise and entrepreneurship is all about.

              1. There are a lot of assholes out there. Even in areas such as science and engineering.

    2. Someone who avoids socializing with others probably would think that women are a distraction… you probably could not be friends with a woman without expecting her to have some romantic interest with you….

      1. you probably could not be friends with a woman without expecting her to have some romantic interest with you….

        And I would want to hire someone who has not advanced beyond the emotional/mental age of 14, because….?

      2. I could, if I found a woman who I actually liked personally. I don’t like most guys, but women are a whole nother league. You ever wonder why 99% of the commenters here are guys?

        1. I could, if I found a woman who I actually liked personally. I don’t like most guys, but women are a whole nother league

          No offense, but maybe you’re just gay?

          1. I think your autistic comment may have been accurate. I mean ‘Women are a whole nother league?’ Seriously, George?

          2. I thought the stereotype was that gays get along with women better than straight men.

        2. You ever wonder why 99% of the commenters here are guys?

          I thought we’d settled on poor choices of genital semantics as the explanation.

          1. Considering that your post is about four posts above the phrase ‘kimchi eating Korean whore getting her pussy eaten out by a sweaty pollack,’ I think you might have a point.

  8. Every new invention or trend is seen as a replacement for the previous technology. While in some cases it is true, most often it is not. Employers are right to see the use of social networks as showing a person has the ability to interact with people in the latest technologies without being bogged down by such technologies. But replacing the resume? I would not count on that. The light bulb was suppose to replace candles but people still use candles, now don’t they?

    1. Definitely. My office is in the same hall as my border, Mr. Fartsy. That doesn’t explain half the odors coming from his room. I told him one time that it couldn’t possibly smell worse if I hovered my nose over a kimchi eating Korean whore getting her pussy eaten out by a sweaty pollack.

      1. over a kimchi eating Korean whore getting her pussy eaten out by a sweaty pollack.

        ^^^THIS IS MY NEW FETISH^^^

        1. His tongue grazing on her clitty while penetrating with sausage links. We need to film it!

          1. Kielbasa Kramin’ Kimichi-Kunted Korean Whores #47!

            A Killaz Production

            1. This is why…oh, nevermind.

  9. Employer: I looked up your social network on facebook.
    Me: Yes, I have a wide social network, I get along fine with others.
    Employer: Do you think we are stupid.
    Me: No, of course not, err, why would I think that.
    Employer: You are 30 years old. Your facebook page is only two years old.
    Me: Yes
    Employer: So you are one of them introvert people.
    Me: Yes
    Employer: I noticed your car is 10 years old.
    Me: Yes, I save money that way.
    Employer: We have determined that people who do not throw away their money on crap they don’t need don’t get along well with others.
    Me: I assure you, I get along fine with others, really I do.
    Employer: Are you married?
    Me: No, my girlfriend and I are thinking about it.
    Employer: Our team has determined people who are married are more productive.
    Me: I am the exception that proves the rule.
    Employer: we can’t have that. I noticed your girlfriend is significantly younger than you. Why can’t you date someone your own age?
    Me: I don’t know what to say to that.
    Employer: well than your not hired.
    Me: Fuck you, I’m voting for the socialist party!!!!!!!!

    1. Me: Fuck you, I’m voting for the socialist party!!!!!!!!

      The sad thing is that conversation would be repeated, verbatim, by anyone interacting with a Euro-socialist bureaucrat.

    2. It’s good to know that retarded people can figure out how to type and post on the internet too. It’s heartwarming, I suppose.

      1. Be nice. He might have cake.

        1. What I’d like to know is, Nikki, why are there retarded people on this blog with my daughter?

      2. Employer: we have determined that you have posted an offensive statement on the internet site “reason.com.”
        Me: How would you know that?
        Employer: You think we are stupid?
        Me: No masser,why would I say that masser?
        Employer: We have a partnership with many other companies to track IP address’s. You used the same IP adress to post an offensive comment to that site as you did to email your application.
        Me: Why is it that you get to do this?
        Employer: I got the job from my daddy.

        1. None of this ever happens. I think you might be crazy.

        2. Employer: We have a partnership with many other companies to track IP address’s.

          I wouldn’t want to work for an employer who can’t use apostrophes correctly anyway.

        3. So, if I understand you correctly, you would want someone to force that asshole to hire you? And you’d be happier working for him than you would not.

          1. He also thinks potential employers are going to be grilling him on the age of his Facebook page. I’m not sure his view of the world makes a whole lot of sense.

    3. Employer: Are you married?

      Hello discrimination lawsuit.

    4. (George Smithotopia)
      Employer: I notice you posted on Reason.
      Me: Ye-
      Me: Ohh fuck yeah at least they still got some jobs open around here.

  10. This is not an entirely new development. In 1830 George Combe, one of England’s most prominent phrenologists, explained that he could tell if a prospective servant was conscientious or untrustworthy by examining the bumps and bulges on his head.

    Fucking neuroscientists, I hate those guys.

    1. So us on the doll where the phrenologist touched you.

      1. *points to the skull*

        1. They’re the ones who gave him Monkey AIDS.

          Probably made him go to a cocktail party, too.

  11. “What will happen to an economy where workers are hired based on their ability to give HR butterflies in their stomachs? We’ll end up rewarding networkers, charlatans, charming rogues, and social hanger-ons who don’t produce. There is only one result for a nation who takes this path:”

    1. And this is different than the HR of before how?

    2. You have it all wrong. This is much better than wasting all that money worthless degrees the way people do now.

      I have a small business and what I want to know when I hire somebody is IQ/EQ/skills, in that order. Education and interviews are just proxies for first two, and for the last one, I wish there were testing centers where people could get their real-world skills measured objectively. Then I could have people just come in and hand me 3 pieces of paper, an IQ test, a personality test, and a skills test. I’d barely care about their background after that.

      An added bonus to all of this is that it would break the left-wing indoctrination that goes on at most universities.

    3. Following a couple of links from that article, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a “seduction community”. LOL.

  12. Well I guess its a good thing I already have a cushy union job where I make lots of money and don’t have to do shit.

  13. What are the chances the test are designed to reveal an ability to focus on producing results?

    1. I’d say about….100%? It’s the rare company that wastes money, manpower and prospective employees just to give clever little tests that don’t help them out.

      1. You don’t work in a large company with a well staffed HR department, do you?

      2. Private companies have bureaucracies just like governments do and family businesses have their own kinds of irrationality.

  14. …he could tell if a prospective servant was conscientious or untrustworthy by examining the bumps and bulges on his head.

    I’d be willing to bet that the more bumps, the more times the servant had been caught doing untrustworthy shit. Those ivory-handled canes packed quite the wallop.

  15. Here’s a fun little HR test

    I scored 34

    1. 43. I still want to know why I would want to be a tree.

      If someone I was interviewing with asked me that I would probably say ” We probably arent going to be a good…..fit.”

      1. I’ve been asked some stupid shit before in interviews but nothing that idiotic. Funny, though, all of my interviews with HR took place after the interview with the guy that wanted to hire me into his department/working group, and was a mere formality. I probably could have gone into any of them and asked them what kind of tree they’d want to be and still gotten the job.

        I’m sure it would be different if I went into a field where skill or experience weren’t as important as being malleable, which defines call center work, IMO.

        1. I’d have to agree. The “tree” question I mentioned above didn’t make me nervous, just uncomfortable because I knew I had to talk to this person for another 30 minutes without laughing or telling her how stupid she was.

        2. I did call center work for Apple (via contractor/employment agency, not directly) and didn’t have to answer any stupid questions at all. So it will still differ from employer to employer.

      1. You radiate excitement?\

        1. Only in a working environment.
          You rate a bunch of points for being a night person who takes fast long steps, likes red and orange, laughs when something is funny etc.

      2. also 51

    2. 36 with my real answers.

      42 with my what they want to hear answers.

      I am convinced that these tests, which I’ve taken before, are to ascertain if you’re dumb enough to answer honestly.

    3. 41 to 50 points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who’ll always cheer them up and help them out.

      47….apparently I’m a fantastic human being!

      1. but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head.


        47….apparently I’m a fantastic human being!

        That test is obviously a fucking joke.

    4. 46. I think the range below mine is probably a bit more accurate though.

    5. What BS, I scored a 30, I’m not so cautious and plodding that people are surprised when I do something impulsive.

  16. “companies that screen out job hoppers and the unemployed have been needlessly limiting their candidate pool.”

    Unless the job involves a long term cycle of planning and execution, why would anybody assume a long term commitment on the part of either party is necessary? If your job is answering questions over the telephone, who gives a shit if you work for a month or a lifetime?

  17. Having a charming telephone personality is not the same as being able to ferret out (based on the incoherent ramblings of the customer) the real problem and offer up a solution which is comprehensible to that customer.

    1. Is that what you told HR in your call center interview as you realized they weren’t going to hire you? : )

    2. Ever tried to get an 80 year old grandma to reinstall Outlook Mailbox files successfully?

      1. I can’t get a 20 year old to… never mind.

    3. Exactly. Buddy who worked for a call center says one of the available options in the “what caused the problem field?” is PEBCAK.


    4. Having a charming telephone presidential personality is not the same as being able to ferret out (based on the incoherent ramblings of the customer voter) the real problem and offer up a solution which is comprehensible to that customer voter.

      It’s all about empathy, man.

  18. “…or how you answer multiple-choice questions designed to assess your empathy, sociability, and ability to deal with repetitive tasks in highly regulated environments.”

    Or more simply: Bullshit.

      1. Maybe because it’s no longer around?

        1. Well, that’s a Ship of Theseus question. Regardless of the resolution of that paradox, the tree that stands at Mahabodhi today is revered and millions of pilgrims have some to see it.

    1. That’s Rio Natsume, no?

      1. Somebody named Fuko. Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds is linking to porn blogs again.

        1. Ah.

          1. Google image search indicates Fuko’s modeling niche is “Asian Plumper”.
            She is downright skinny in the linked pic

            1. She needs to star in a Killaz Production.

            2. Be really careful. You wouldn’t want to get duped by the Internet Fat Girl Angle.

  19. Jesus H. motherfucking Christ on a pogo stick. You really know American society is becoming more ovine and retarded by the day when the use of crap like Facebook and Twitter is now considered an indicator of someone’s personal skills and value.

    1. Remember this is for Call Center jobs so it really won’t impact American society as much as Indian society.

  20. It’s the rare company that wastes money, manpower and prospective employees just to give clever little tests that don’t help them out.

    In theory that’s true, but human resources directors in large organizations will be mightily tempted to do things which make their own lives easier while being substantially less focused on real efficiency gains for the organization as a whole.

    I base this on zero actual work experience in large organizations.

    1. I base this on zero actual work experience in large organizations.

      You’d have to, Brooksie. Sorry, but I just can’t see someone lasting long as a HR director that doesn’t employ best practices to hire and retain the best value for their money. That is even more certain when unemployment is high and the employee supply is markedly higher than the demand.

      1. I worked for a company that lingered on for a year or so after I left with nothing but HR and admins. They no longer had any staff to do what the company’s business was but kept going on accounts receivable and debt.

      2. Sorry, but I just can’t see someone lasting long as a HR director that doesn’t employ best practices to hire and retain the best value for their money.

        sloopy, what are you basing this on? Actual experience with HR departments or free market dogma?

        Reality is, as long as the HR director doesn’t get the company sued in labor court and their bosses are unaware of any HR problems, the HR director is not getting fired. Evaluating whether an HR director is employing best practices and hiring the right people would be a full time job in and of itself. There’s just too many variables.

  21. Can I be an indecision tree?

    It’s getting to the point I maybe oughtta pay closer attention to this race. The Big One looms.

    1. Doubtful. Too many big names have already dropped out. The better drivers will get in a draft and leave the scrubs behind. IMO, it comes down to Hamlin, Johnson and Gordon.

    2. Holy Crap does this race confirm how much I miss F1.
      3 more weeks.

  22. I just hope the Buckeyes can knock off MSU. The game just started.

  23. Chara just danced around the Panthers and scored a beauty goal

  24. Oh no.

    Donald J. Trump ?@realDonaldTrump
    By popular demand, I will be tweeting on the very tainted Academy Awards tonight!

    1. Speaking of taints, I think Arlo wins best picture.

        1. Whoops. Typo makes a big difference there. I’t feeding a baby, so give me a break.

          1. “I’t”?

  25. One of my employers started his interviews by having the prospect develop and code a simple algorithm. If the prospect couldn’t do it, the “personality” stuff never surfaced. Of course, these days that’s probably illegal.

  26. Restrictor plate racing ? racing. I hate Daytona and Talladega.

    1. Restrictor plate racing ? racing.

      Does this mean it isn’t boring?

  27. Now we’ve got ’em bunched up. Just as long as Vaganica gets collected.

    1. Bitch abandoned Gordon and he got shuffled bad.

  28. The mysterious “debris” caution. NASCAR is as bad as the WWF.

  29. What are the tire change/refueling rules in this race?

      1. You can refuel/ change tires whenever you want?
        What are the strategies most teams employ?

        1. At a plate track, you don’t really worry about tires. It’s all fuel mileage. They change tires according to how much fuel they’re taking, since the fueling takes longer than the tire changes.

          1. How do you go from 3rd to 8th in one corner? I don’t get this “sport”

            1. You go from 3rd to 8th because you don’t have anybody that wants to draft with you and you get hung out to dry. She’d have ended up a lot worse off if Biffle hadn’t have been dumb enough to stay in her line.

              I’m a bit disappointed that Gordon got hung out and shuffled back to 20th because everybody decided to stay in the high line.

          2. How much time/distance do you lose on a refuel?

            1. Depends on a lot of factors:
              how long is pit road?
              what is the pit speed limit?
              how fast are cars running on track?
              1 or 2 cans of fuel?

  30. At least they shuffled her back at the end.

  31. That green skinned chick that Shatner nailed in the the famous Star Trek episode, was a babe in the way that they don’t make babes any more.


    1. The green skinned chick has been dead for some time.



        1. I bet John wished Alicia Silverstone would have done Batgirl a few years later after she had plumped up quite a bit.

          /I keed!

        2. I was referring to Susan Oliver. You know the original green skinned Orion Slave-girl (sorta) in the Cage/Menagerie.

      3. So is Mozart but I still enjoy him from time to time.

    2. Yvonne Craig. She is one of those people like Bettie Page who became more famous long after her career was over.

      1. I still think John would prefer his Batgirl look like Alicia.


  32. Baby pics for some, little American flags for others.

    1. She is beautiful. She really is. Just wonderful.

    2. Great stuff thanks for sharing

    3. #5 looks like she is scheming to take over the world.

      #8 looks like her plan was a total success.

    4. Ohio State? SMH… poor kid

    5. She’s very cute.

    6. Damn Sloop, is that you? Not how I envisioned you. Banjos was close to how I pictured her (assuming that’s her).

      1. Actually, he looks like I envisioned with one exception: I thought there would be a tattoo saying “I Hate Cops” across his forehead.

        Beautiful baby, congratulations again.

        1. he’s got “HATE” on his right knuckles and “COPS” on the left

  33. Penske should take Keselowske’s car straight to the wind tunnel. It went surprisingly fast out there by itself with all that tape all over it.

  34. Last year’s two car draft chain-racing was more entertaining.

    1. NASCAR is not racing. It is not crashing. If there is a more ridiculous and stupid form of auto racing than the big trioval I am unaware of it.

      1. If there is a more ridiculous and stupid form of auto racing than the big trioval I am unaware of it.

        Yeah, you can stop looking, because you found it.

        NASCAR is killing itself with cookie-cutter 1-1/2 mile tracks and the plate races at the expense of great places to watch a race like Rockingham, North Wilkesboro and other small tracks that are/were a blast to go to.

        Fuck NASCAR.

      2. On the plus side, at least no fans got sent to the hospital today.

      3. Even F1 has more passing. Fake DRS passing, but still passing.

        1. That’s why I hate plate racing. Real racing happens at Darlington, Richmond and Bristol. Or at least it did before the COT or Gen-6 car that came out today.

          NASCAR sucks balls compared to the mid-late 90’s.

          1. Under the lights at Richmond!

            I used to make great money when I was a kid selling drinks. The exit off 64West went to Laburnum Avenue, which you then drove down for several miles to the race track. One of the races was always around Labor Day, and Labor Day is hot hot hot in Richmond. I grew up in the neighborhood right by there. So we used to sit out in the median and sell soda and bottled water. Ice cold out of the cooler. 2 bucks apiece or three for 5. Case of water was 4 bucks, so every single one after the first three bottles was pure profit.

            1. Did you have a license? Did the other stores in the area know they were losing customers? YOU MONSTER

              1. Haha one year it was like freakishly hot, so we ran out of product, but there was a ton of people wanting more. So I took half the money and bought more drinks from the local market. Put it in a little red wagon and restocked.

                I think the best thing was how you’d walk the line (traffic was literally a standstill for hours…unreal) with buckets of cold drinks, and the number one question was always:

                “What ya got?”
                “Water, coke, diet coke, sprite 2 dollars a drink, or three for five”
                “What about a cold beer”
                “Sir, I’m 10”
                “So no beer.”
                “No sir”
                “Hell. Ok I’ll take three waters.”

            2. My brother got hit in the ankle with a horseshoe there at the night race in like 95 or 96. He got drunk and separated from us and ended up in the north lot (Henrico side) while we were at the south lot (Richmond side).

              He called me at my mom and dad’s house (in Chesterfield) at 5 am and he was at a 7-11 in Hanover. My mother was not impressed and refused to let me stay with her when I came into town for a race after that.

  35. You wanna work in a call center?
    Help someone who doesn’t understand english fix this problem over the phone.

    1. The hardest part is probably understanding what the problem is in the first place. Once you understand it, it might not be that bad to convince the person to “press the x’s on the left side of the screen”. Or maybe it will be worse. Fortunately, I wasn’t in CPU.

  36. More interesting Job interview questions

    You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?

    1. Shoot the hostage.

    2. I stand on the middle of the gear that the blades are attached to. The vortex will float me to the top if anything is put in the mixer or I won’t get thrown to the edge and dropped to the blade by the centrifugal force if it remains empty.

    3. I’ll go ahead and change my answer, because if I were “thrown” in, it would be from the equivalent height of around 100 ft. In that case, I’d die upon impact or would be so injured as to not be able to make any decision on what to do.

      1. Probably not. When you are the small, your terminal velocity is pretty low; you would most likely be able to survive a fall from just about any height.

        You’d also be small enough that if you got to the very bottom you could probably duck under the blades, so your biggest problem would be being sucked up into them.

        1. Exactly.
          The blender is empty, so the goal is to somehow remain below or outside the actual blades.

        2. That was my thought. As far as being sucked up into them… wouldn’t the blades be oriented to pull shit down into them for grinding? You would therefore be pushed away from the blades.

  37. OT: And the award for Political Party in Majority Power That Has The Most Badass Symbol goes to….The Republican Party of Armenia!

    1. That is just a little too close to some of the Nazi party symbols for my taste…

  38. Buckeyes on a nice run. Let’s see if they can keep from fucking it up.

  39. My four-day-long email battle with my prog friend over anthropogenic global warming continues. Thought you would all appreciate his latest volley:

    Conservatives and libertarians can not fathom that there are problems that free markets cannot solve. So they deny the problem of AGW exists.

    1. What the fuck is “anthropogenic global warming”?

      1. A fiction.

    2. Conservatives and libertarians can not fathom that there are problems that free markets cannot solve. So they deny the problem of AGW exists.

      Even if AGW existed, why couldn’t the free market find a solution? Isn’t that what Cap ‘n Trade is all about?

      1. Cap and trade is not a free market solution.

        1. It’s as close as you’re going to get in AGW-land.

          1. You misspelled Fantasyland.

      2. Can and Trade is a government- or UN-run money grab. It’s about as free market as the dairy industry.

        1. Sloop, I have had about 8 Heinckens and I have shared some of my blueberry diesel with my cousin this afternoon and…. well, we are foregoing PGA, Daytona and college hoops to watch the 2006 AFC championship games and get drunk and stoned.

          My cousin is visiting from Kokomo and he is a big Indy Colts fan. He just loves how much I treasure the 2006 AFC championship game. It drives my wife crazy as she would just spread her legs for Tom Brady.

          1. If Banjos felt that way about Brady, I’d beat her.

            1. Of course, this is self-serving, but I hope that I can get some props for being a New Englander and yet recognize that the Patriots are not exactly loved and cherished and that, objectively speaking, the 2006 AFC championship game is one of the greatest games in NFL history.

              1. I forgot you were a New Englander. OK, you get props for that.

                Of course, the AFC Championship Game that was actually played in 2006 featured the Stillers on their way to another Super Bowl victory.

                Right, Epi?

                1. Didn’t you think that the Broncos were going to win that game? I sure did. After beating the Pats the week before and having home field, I thought that Jake the Snake would win. I was wrong.

                  1. Being a Stillers fan, I never for a moment thought the Broncos would win that game.

                    My brother is a Bungles fan and still gets butthurt about those playoffs.

                    1. He should as his team had the home field and Carson Palmer was ever so slightly better than Big Ben during the regular season.

                      However, Carson going down in that playoff game certainly was kismet not kissing the Bungles kindly.

                      On October 1, 2006, my wife and I were at Paul Brown to see the Pats take on the Bengals. The Pats blew them out, 38-13, and late in the game, the Bengals fans around us were really giving it to Corey Dillion who did not hesitate to give it to them. I scolded some of the fans for calling Dillion a bum, a loser and the like. I remember telling them that their franchise was not unlike that Pats franchise several years before, i.e., a laughingstock, and that they should not embarass themselves by denigrating Dillion.

                      A couple of years ago, I opined that Dillion was among the top 15 running backs of all time and Johm replied that I did not know anything about running backs.

              2. Except that the result was in part due to Peyton Manning’s incessant whining after the 2004 AFC Championship Game that they wouldn’t let his poow widdle wide receivers run free.

                God I hate Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. It was so much fun watching Manning throw that brutal INT in overtime of the playoff game.

    3. He has that backwards. If free markets can’t solve the problem, then progs are assured to exaggerate it.

    4. “Conservatives and libertarians can not fathom that there are problems that free markets cannot solve. So they deny the problem of AGW exists.”

      I think I am beginning to see the problem here. Holy shit.

      This non sequitur is a dead give-away that the problem this fucktard has is not with climate but with free markets.

      You are going to get nowhere C.

      1. It’s pretty obvious that these are people with a superstitious desire for people to live virtuously frugal lives.

        Watching them support natural gas when it was relatively rare and expensive once the invention of fracking caused the supply to skyrocket and prices to plunge was quite illuminating.

        1. Like the anti-smoking crowd banning e-ciggarettes.

          BTW I see what you tried to do there, but gas-lights have been gone for some time now. Mostly.

  40. I work in software – all I care is can I understand their English (and they mine).

  41. OT: Our movie collection now sits at 673 Blu-Ray and DVD titles. I’m pretty happy that the Bond films have all gone in the $5 bin at WalMart.

    1. I still can’t figure out how we only own one Star Trek movie.

    2. For Your Eyes Only remains the Bond gold standard.

      Good trivia info: The only Bond movie in which the actual crooner of the Bond theme appears on screen is Sheena Easton.

      Please tell me that you would jump into the time machine and go back and make wild love to Sheena Easton in 1981. If you decline, I would have to wonder.

      1. We bought that yesterday. I had been looking for it in the $5 bin and finally found a copy. I fucking love that movie and will be introducing Banjos to Roger Moore’s Bond this evening in lieu of the Oscars.

        Sheena Easton was hot. Really hot.

        1. For Your Eyes Only was such a contrast to Moonraker and the drift into gadgets and special effects as manifested by The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker. It was much more gritty and somehat more romantic.

          Perhaps some of it for me is that I love to play For Your Eyes Only on the piano and that I have used it to get……………….

          1. Moonraker was pretty solid. The Spy Who Loved me isn’t on my favorites list, but it was when Moore really came into the character and had a decent script to work with. We’ll break order and watch For Your Eyes Only followed by Moonraker tonight.

            1. Moonraker is LCD to a fault. I don’t like it at all. Especially, Jaws having a change of heart to save his little woman.

              For Your Eyes Only is a good choice for a top tier Bond movie, though.

              1. I forgive the last 3 minutes of Moonraker for the 110 that precede it. It’s a clever, fun movie with a good plot, cast and gadgetry.

      2. Only if Prince has to watch but he can’t participate. Just kidding! Jump into the pile, l’il buddy!

    3. are they in the DVD bin or BluRay bin?

      1. The Bond ones are in the DVD bin unfortunately. They’re all still full price on Blu-Ray ($15-20) and I can’t see dropping that.

        I’m just happy I can buy them individually so as to avoid owning anything with Dalton or Brosnan as James Bond.

        1. I enjoyed the Brosnan Bonds. What is wrong with you?

          1. What is wrong with you?

            Um, I’m not a fag. Brosnan sucked donkey balls as Bond.

            Bond in order of quality:

            Niven (non-Eon)

            1. I have the same order, just the drop for me is after Brosnan

              1. This may be like admitting to liking deep dish, but when I think of James Bond I think of Brosnan. Probably because he was doing the James Bond movies when I was growing up.

                Also, I played the shit out of Golden Eyes 007 on N64.

                1. I will say I don’t think he’s the best Bond actor. Just that his look is what I associate with Bond.

        2. I can’t find From Russia With Love in any of the bargain bins. I found the rest of the Sean Connery ones at a Big Lots for $2 each about 3 years ago.

  42. Just got an email from our congressman who has an art contest for high school kids. Last year’s winner showed that the congressman might not recognize a vagina and clitoris disguised as a pepper half — or perhaps he does? Another winner (scroll down the page) appears to be a pen-on-napkin scribble that depicts the OWS view of the American economic system.

    1. I didn’t know Maplethorpe had fathered a female. That kid’s going places!

    2. Those art entries are… interesting. Which I guess makes sense for a competition held in California.

      The pepper-vagina is pure genius, though.

      1. BTW, just asked the fianc?e what the pepper reminds her of. Her response: “Well, it happens.”

        We both agreed that “Hamster in my Hand” was a much worthier entry.

  43. Buckeyes starting to choke.

  44. So are the Oscars done yet?

    1. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.

      1. she just did and we got 2 hours to go

  45. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?

    I wonder how much lift/downforce the spinning blades would make. The thing to do would probably be to lie down and let them spin above you. That or take one of the diamonds out of your Rolex and just cut an escape hatch.

  46. What a great goal by Evander Kane.

  47. Bond in order of quality:

    Niven (non-Eon)


    Good luck in your job search.

    1. Brooksie’s list:

      everybody else

      1. Moore is numero uno for me as well.

        However, The Living Daylights is the single most romantic Bond ever because the Dalton Maryam D’abo connection was the most realistic. I could see her falling for Dalton.

        Sure, I could see Maud Adams going for Moore in Octupussy and, to some extent, I could see Carol Boquet going for Moore in For Your Eyes Only notwithstanding the age difference. Besides, the scene with the sleigh in the Italian Alps and the Italian driver saying, “Amore” still gives me goosebumps.

        1. Me too – Octopussy is my favorite. Maybe because I was 14 or because we just got HBO around then and it was on all the time… but I still think it holds up well against the rest.

        2. “Moore is numero uno for me as well.”

          What is wrong with y’all? Moore is a fairy. I mean he is an actual homosexual.

          There is only one Bond. Connery.

          1. I don’t know if I can ever watch Connery do Bond again.

            1. Yeah, that is something isnt it?

              Yet a straight guy playing gay is different than a gay guy playing a straight one.

              Still, I love Zardoz.

          2. There is only one Bond. Connery.

            Amen, brother!

  48. It’s weird, because I was just talking to a friend about this the other night.

    Daniel Craig would probably be a really good Bond, if the stories and stunts and special effects weren’t so fucking ridiculous.

    1. They’ve been as absurd since Diamonds Are Forever, really. The only difference is the improvement in filming quality since Brosnan’s Bond through today.

      As if anything Craig has done (I’ve not seen Skyfall yet) is more ridiculous as Connery in the moon buggy or inside the weather balloon in Diamonds.

    2. One of the recent Daniel Craig Bond movies (can’t remember the name), I turned it on and there were so many fucking jump-cuts happening every two seconds I turned it off because I thought I might have a seizure if I kept watching much longer. It was horrible.

      1. Ugh, I hate that crap too. Anyway I haven’t seen Craig – all the stuff about how “dark” and “edgy” his Bond is make me not want to.

  49. I stopped watching Bond movies when Connery quit.

    1. I tried to work my way the the Bond films in order back in the 90s.

      I found I quite like the early ones and was quite surprised that I found On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (first seen in 1970) to be one of the best. I also think that George Lazenby was one of the best bonds.

      I gave up trying at The Man with the Golden Gun. I found it unwatchable and gave up trying about ten minutes into it.

  50. I think I just heard this clown on the radio say “the problem with American individualism is how collectivized it is”.

  51. Temporary Tattoos Could Make Electronic Telepathy Possible


    1. We have five dogs. I once said to my wife ” Wouldnt it be cool if the dogs could talk and tell us exactly what they are thinking?”

      She answered ” NO! They would drive us batshit crazy. They would be like spoiled 2 year-olds in a grocery store. On the cereal isle. Be thankful they cant.”

      I am wondering if telepathy with other humans might present similar problems.

      1. Telepathy would basically turn humanity into a Borg collective. No thanks.

        1. Telepathy would basically turn humanity into a Borg collective. No thanks.

          I don’t think so, as the actual collectivists would be unable to hide their antipathy to humanity.

          I do think a whole lot of people would murder the shit out of each other though.

          1. “I do think a whole lot of people would murder the shit out of each other though.”

            That made me laugh.

  52. “the problem with American individualism is how collectivized it is”.

    Once you have been assimilated, you’ll understand.

  53. Penguins wearing Camo jerseys tonight in honor of vets.

  54. No comments on Shatner as Kirk in the Oscars opening segment?
    It’s probably all down hill from here.

    1. I’m getting mixed reviews

  55. Hey the Nazi won an oscar

    1. not saying he IS a Nazi, he looks and sounds like one

      1. He played a great Nazi in Inglorious Basterds. He wasn’t even the second best supporting actor in Django. Samuel L Jackson was the best, followed by Leonardo DiCaprio.

  56. Best part of the Oscars is going to be Jezebel and Feminste exploding of the “We Saw Your Boobs” song.

    1. Oh god, I just checked it out on YouTube. I can feel the derp already.

  57. Some stoned out wizard just won an award

  58. Bond Tribute on now.

    1. The “standing ovation” lost all meaning about 20 years ago.

      Reason #1993 I don’t watch the Oscars.

    2. Paint drying; some faster than others.

  59. Searching for Sugarman won for best doc.
    If you haven’t seen it, go see it.

  60. The Bond subthread is worthy of a Star Trek convention.

  61. Please Just keep Chris Plummer on stage for the rest of the night.

  62. Well, after that joke about doanting money to Israel, it looks like Seth McFarlane is never gonna be Secretary of Defense.

    1. So I guess Raimondo and co. will argue that only neocons don’t like Seth.

  63. Argo editor won for editing Canada right out of the movie.

    1. Joe Clarke wuz robbed! And Screw you Fabien Roy!

  64. I don’t know how you all can watch the Oscars. Mrs. A and I watched some prepper shows and Military Channel stuff. Much more entertaining.

    But thanks for providing the play by play so some of us don’t have to watch. Cause I cannot stand these shows and refuse to watch, ever. Not even worth it for the lulz.

    Carry on!

    1. you have a low threshold of pain.
      I like snarking to it

      1. I have an extremely low threshold for derp, yes. These award shows are the ultimate “why should I care”? Oh – I don’t!

        But I get the lulz – enjoy 🙂

  65. *Marvin Hamlisch tribute* Boy it’s dusty in here, I got something in my eye.

    1. Babs is 71.

  66. The Wright Brothers – fucking geniuses. They’re showing a replica of their wind tunnel. Incredible. Their work on the propeller – revolutionary. “A prop is a revolving wing, not a screw like a ship’s propeller.” Goddamn bicycle mechanics. Genius.

    1. I saw a doc show where they were inspired by wait for it ? aliens.

      1. Really COOL aliens.

    2. The closest thing to a religious experience I’ve had not involving raw fungi or its extracts was visiting Kitty Hawk. The utter awesomeness of human achievement on that ground. No degreed scientists, government research, rich patrons, or big corporations, just two Midwestern bicycle mechanics with their own hands and on their own dime.

      1. and Aliens. Don’t forget the Aliens.

    3. “A prop is a revolving wing, not a screw like a ship’s propeller.”

      Smacks palm of hand on forehead.

      As an H+R resident mechanical engineer, I haven’t the foggiest idea what that means. An aircraft’s propeller has exactly the same function and as a submarine’s propeller. You want to push the vehicle through the fluid (air is a fluid) so that you can can go somewhere and employ a surface (curved on the top in an aircraft application) to raise or lower the altitude of the vehicle. The vehicle has to be in motion to do this, to steer it also.

      Bicycles balance through gyroscopic motion of the wheels.

  67. I’d like to learn how to fly. I’ve done all kinds of car stuff – racing, off road. Motorcycles, boats. I wanna learn how to fly and get a fucking biplane – that looks like so much fun! Went to a local air show this summer – fucking aerobatics for the win! Bonus: B17 and P51 flybys were the shit. Biplane just looks like fun.

    Yeah, yeah, right up till I crash. Just like the motorcycles. Totally worth it…

    1. what’s stopping you?

  68. They left Andy Griffith out of the montage!

  69. Ang Lee wins best director.
    Making up for his snub for “Hulk”

  70. A few years ago I was a bartender at a banquet facility. The manager used Facebook as his primary hiring tool so he could tell which females were worth calling for an interview based on how hot they were. Somehow this seemed to offend more of the guys than the girls, I think because the girls already know how biased managers can be in that regard.

    On the flip side, I’ve worked for some female managers who were equally shallow with who they hired of the opposite sex.

    This is why those BS personality assessments piss me off. Interviewers are not objective. They don’t give a shit about the “right” personality. They’ll hire you if they like you. The tests are just a waste of time. Plus they usually have inane loaded questions like, “I am just a bundle of sunshine each morning and everyone loves being around me”….so if I can’t honestly say I’d make a good Disney protagonist, I’m bad?

  71. Oh they brought the wookie out to announce best picture

    1. When she announced “Argo” and all her color guard applauded, it was almost like it was part of the ending of that movie. (For those that didn’t see the movie, there is a voice-over at the end by none other than Jimmy Carter, 39th POTUS.)

  72. As I understand it, the general tone of this piece is of cautious optimism, that we should be happy about this new trend because while some seemingly unconnected behaviors and attributes now come ‘into play’ with HR decisions, old and bad prejudices will be discarded with the new data at hand.

    Okay, I get that. Except that — and I am speaking from experience on this, because analysis of such data and presentation to executives for action is what I do for a living, and all — I have never seen this happen.

    What happens is that old prejudices continue to remain, because they are ingrained, and the new prejudices just pop up alongside them.

    So people will continue to be dinged for old arrests that mean nothing, and for being job-hoppers, or unemployed …. and *on top of that* the new metrics will work against them because they drive a red car, or because they use Google+ instead of Facebook, or whatever.

    I say this against my own interest in making more work to ensure my own skill set stays, you know, valuable and all. I just don’t see this being a good thing.

  73. WOW! after 13 years as a professional recruiter all I can point out is the following line from the article “is a move away from the white-collar shamanism” and say and replace it with what, the dark arts of black magic and voodoo of “personalty fit” what it really comes down to is we have forgotten how to be human in the hiring process and for this will be punished. Seriously though we have created a many headed hydra called HR which tries to be touchy feely and tells us the company cares when their historical mandate is to legally protect employers from employees. Just bloody marvelous!

  74. commute might affect his loyalty and which social networks he

  75. mountains of data at their fingertips, work force analytics consultants

  76. loyalty and which social networks he participates in. With

  77. screenings are not only about temperament. Employers are also

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