State of the Union

The False Choice Between A Shot Or A Beer: Follow Along With Reason's 2013 SOTU Drinking Game

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Credit: andres musta / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

Presidential advisers have hinted at what to expect from tonight's big presidential address to Congress: "new initiatives in manufacturing, infrastructure, education and clean energy" and perhaps even "a surprise or two along the way." It'll be big! It'll be new! It'll be surprising!

Actually, given Obama's history of banal greenjobsenergy- education infrastructure- makingstuff SOTU boosterism, it'll probably be none of the above.

Another non-surprise is what we're virtually certain not to hear: a big new plan to reduce the $16.4 trillion federal debt — roughly $5.8 trillion of which arrived between Obama's first big address to the joint Congress (technically not a SOTU!) and this one.

Yet while the state of the union may be sobering, the good news is that you don't have to be.

As President Obama drones on in his State of the Union address tonight, follow along with Reason's 2013 SOTU drinking guide. Take a drink, and click a link, if the president…

Credit: pugetive / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

Finally, drink any time you hear something heartwarming and vague. Use your own discretion here, but I'm thinking of bits like this one from last year's speech, in which Obama mentions his grandparents:

"They understood they were part of something larger, that they were contributing to a story of success that every American had a chance to share: the basic American promise that if you worked hard, you could do well enough to raise a family, own a home, send your kids to college, and put a little away for retirement. The defining issue of our time is how to keep that promise alive."

That's a lesson for all of us. So as you watch tonight's speech, think back to last year's remarks, and understand that you're part of something larger, that you're contributing to a story of inebriation that every American can share: the basic American promise that if you drink hard, you can laugh a little, roll your eyes, and get through the speech. It's the defining issue of our evening.