Friday Funnies: Go Green


NEXT: Where the Boys Are

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  1. Big Pussy has money coming out the wazoo. I don’t know why Tony whacked him.

  2. Even by Payne’s standards this one is scraping the bottom of the barrel. It is so bad it doesn’t even come close to passing the Marmaduke Test. As such, it runs the risk of being classified as an assault weapon by Joe Biden and being banned from the U.S.

    1. Why does an obese Oscar Wilde have reams of Monopoly money in his butt?

      1. The handy dandy LABELZZ tell you why.

        1. no, really?

          1. Yes. See, Oscar Wilde sold Current TV to oil-rich Al-Jazeera. And oil being a substance derived from processing the corpses of Iraqi babies, the “Gore” pin on his lapel is a reference to “Blood for Oil”, a once-popular slogan that mysteriously went out of fashion circa November 2008.

            1. NO BLOOD FOR OOIL

              1. That part is ’cause Norway has a lot of ?oil.

            2. Blood for oil….funny.

              There is a new hang-out at the gunshop lately. An army special forces guy, a colonel no less. One of the guys asked him the other day “Hey, we seem to be gearing up for another war, where are we going?”

              The guy looked into his coffee cup and mumbled “Africa”.

              They asked again ” Where in africa?”

              He didnt look up from his coffee and with a straight face and flat voice said ” Somalia. Congo. Mali. Pretty much anywhere there is oil.”

              It is ok though, captain zero has a peace prize.

              1. Plus his absent father was from Africa, so it’s not racist when he does it.

  3. Hmmm. I dont know why Payne drew Count Dracula in there, I find Al Gore exponentially creepier.

    1. I was going to say ‘Count Chocula has really let himself go’

  4. Someone smacked that poor elf with a Rod of Tenser’s Transformation!!

    What happened? Did The Goblin and Zatanna get into some kind of malfunctioning teleporter in some DC/Marvel crossover?

    Ok done nerding out.

    For now.

    1. Where is The Penguin’s tophat, cigarette and holder, and umbrella?

  5. This cartoon sucks. Seriously.

    1. I think it sucks frivolously.

      1. I think it sucks flamboyantly.

        1. No, it sucks hairy donkey balls.

  6. needz moar labelz!


    1. If I were you, I would have said exactly that.

  8. Al Gore is my hero. He turned fake concern about the environment and a cable channel nobody receives into a half billion dollars – before the tax hikes.

    1. agreed, but he’s no Frank McCourt

  9. Payne has established new Peak Horrible. Can Bok match or exceed it? Stay tuned to reason.com to find out!

    Happy Friday, Reasonoids.

    Also, fried chicken.

    1. /Cue in “Dueling Banjos”

      Bok – [Looks at Payne comic and shakes head, turns to set of pens, inks and paper] “Damn it! How am I going to top this?!” [furiously draws and labels comic].

      (montage shot begins – Bok’s ‘effort’ is shown on a future Friday Funnies)

      Payne – “Oh yeah?!” [Seizes his own set of art materials and begins work]


      1. /Cue in “Dueling Banjos”

        Bok: Libertarian boy, hey. Pretty boy. Gonna make you squeal like a pig

        Payne: Make him squeal!

        HyR: Please, God, no, not the… AAAAARGH, LABELZZZZ!!!

  10. Fuck. Another school shooting???
    Taft, Ca.

    16 y/o walks into classroom with a shotgun and opens fire. Attempting to find out what kind of shotgun now.

    1. That happened yesterday. Maybe you need to put down the mint julep, and pick up a newspaper?

      The LA Times is reporting the weapon used was a 12-gauge shotgun.

      1. It is vodka and grapefruit juice, not mint julep. I will put it down when you pry it from my limp, drunk fingers.

        I knew it was a shotgun, just wondered what kind. Pump? Semi-auto? Bolt ( rare these days )? Single or double crack barrel?

        1. Ohhhh I see. If it’s an Elmer Fudd looking shotgun it won’t be a big deal. But if it was a scary black assault shotgun with plastic things attached to it, you know VP Biden will be all for banning it.

      2. That happened yesterday.

        And there was an H&R thread on it.

        I could understand missing Reason’s posting about it if they had only posted to 24/7, however.

      3. and pick up a newspaper

        Talk about yesterday…

    2. But with a happy ending (sort of) – no-one dead, and a teacher talked him out of proceeding


      1. Huffington Post?

        Boo her (and hiss also)!

      2. I was there (about 1/2 mile away) when it went down. The townspeople out there are almost all armed to the teeth. I stopped in McDonalds probably an hour after it went down and word was it was a known feud between one kid and two others. Also from my local sources (which are very reliable), the kid that did the shooting had been suspended last year for threatening to shoot the other two and brandishing a gun in town. The local po-po did their job well and took the kid and gun home to his parents to deal with on that occasion. On this occasion they missed him because, get this, there’s always an armed cop on duty at the high school, but the cop who was supposed to be on yesterday was snowed in and they didn’t replace him because the other officers were on set traffic patrols. IOW, the revenue generation aspect of their job was more important than the public safety part of it. That’s gonna cause some parents to b pissed off, especially the ones that got pulled over for speeding yesterday morning.

        To add fuel to the fire, the contract for the officers at the school had just changed when the Taft police department underbid the Kern County Sheriff’s Dept, which had the contract up until recently. So look for a bit of an internal turf war as well.

      3. Well, if she was armed, she could have just shot him instead.

    3. Nothing so far. No word and no photos of the gun.

      I wonder now if Biden is going to recommend the confiscation of shotguns.

      Apparently this little fucker made a hit list a year ago. If a 6 y/o makes his finger into a gun he gets suspended and has to undergo psych evaluation. A 16 y/o who is being bullied draws up a hit list and …..nothing.

      People suck.

      1. No one died, so we know it wasn’t a military style assault shotgun.

        1. Heh. I have an old stevens single barrel 12 ga. that I can load and shoot nearly as fast as a pump. I have a browning citori 20 ga. side-by-side that I can shoot as fast as a pump.

          Either one could be used to clean up just about any situation you can think of. Wouldnt it be ironic if one of these situations occured with such a gun, something completely off of the gun-control radar?

          1. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but are they like scary looking with black paint and pistol grips and stuff? I mean, that’s what like really makes a gun dangerous and stuff.

            1. FLASH SUPPRESSORZZZZ!!!!!!

            2. It’s flash suppressors and bayonet mounts what kills people.

              1. No no, it’s teh BARREL SHROUDZZZZ!!!11!ELVENTY!

      2. From what I hear, it was a pump action 12-ga and he also had about 20 loose shells in his pockets. But it needs to be mentioned and emphasized that he specifically went after two other kids and even told the teacher that he did not want to shoot him and the pellet that grazed his head was an accident. He also let all the other kids in the classroom leave without incident after it was obvious he wasn’t gonna get another chance to clip his second target.

  11. This is awful. Hiring Aspies to explain the logic behind libertarianism is good; hiring them into a role requiring an understanding of what makes things funny demonstrates a clear misunderstanding of the problem.

  12. LABELS

  13. Wow, with Payne really dialed this one on or Sarek has let himself go.

    1. FINALLY. A Vulcan reference.

  14. I don’t see why Payne has to engage in such baseless slander of Alfred Hitchcock.

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