Friday Funnies: Go Green

Henry Payne | 1.11.2013 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Big Pussy has money coming out the wazoo. I don't know why Tony whacked him.
1. Almanian. 13 years ago
  
  This
2. Ted S. 13 years ago
  
  Not the only one to have money coming out thw wazoo.
LemonMender 13 years ago

Even by Payne's standards this one is scraping the bottom of the barrel. It is so bad it doesn't even come close to passing the Marmaduke Test. As such, it runs the risk of being classified as an assault weapon by Joe Biden and being banned from the U.S.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  Why does an obese Oscar Wilde have reams of Monopoly money in his butt?
  1. Jeff 13 years ago
    
    The handy dandy LABELZZ tell you why.
    1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
      
      no, really?
      1. Jeff 13 years ago
        
        Yes. See, Oscar Wilde sold Current TV to oil-rich Al-Jazeera. And oil being a substance derived from processing the corpses of Iraqi babies, the "Gore" pin on his lapel is a reference to "Blood for Oil", a once-popular slogan that mysteriously went out of fashion circa November 2008.
        
        Sy 13 years ago
        
        NO BLOOD FOR OOIL
        
        Jeff 13 years ago
        
        That part is 'cause Norway has a lot of ?oil.
        
        Suthenboy 13 years ago
        
        Blood for oil....funny.
        
        There is a new hang-out at the gunshop lately. An army special forces guy, a colonel no less. One of the guys asked him the other day "Hey, we seem to be gearing up for another war, where are we going?"
        
        The guy looked into his coffee cup and mumbled "Africa".
        
        They asked again " Where in africa?"
        
        He didnt look up from his coffee and with a straight face and flat voice said " Somalia. Congo. Mali. Pretty much anywhere there is oil."
        
        It is ok though, captain zero has a peace prize.
        
        Jeff 13 years ago
        
        Plus his absent father was from Africa, so it's not racist when he does it.
Suthenboy 13 years ago

Hmmm. I dont know why Payne drew Count Dracula in there, I find Al Gore exponentially creepier.
1. Bobarian 13 years ago
  
  I was going to say 'Count Chocula has really let himself go'
Whiterun Guard 13 years ago

Someone smacked that poor elf with a Rod of Tenser's Transformation!!

What happened? Did The Goblin and Zatanna get into some kind of malfunctioning teleporter in some DC/Marvel crossover?

Ok done nerding out.

For now.
1. Jubal Harshaw 13 years ago
  
  Where is The Penguin's tophat, cigarette and holder, and umbrella?
EDG reppin' LBC 13 years ago

This cartoon sucks. Seriously.
1. Ted S. 13 years ago
  
  I think it sucks frivolously.
  1. $park? 13 years ago
    
    I think it sucks flamboyantly.
    1. Restoras 13 years ago
      
      No, it sucks hairy donkey balls.
WTF 13 years ago

needz moar labelz!
1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
  
  ^^ yes, sir ^^
sage 13 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
1. Almanian. 13 years ago
  
  If I were you, I would have said exactly that.
Drake 13 years ago

Al Gore is my hero. He turned fake concern about the environment and a cable channel nobody receives into a half billion dollars - before the tax hikes.
1. rhofulster 13 years ago
  
  agreed, but he's no Frank McCourt
Almanian. 13 years ago

Payne has established new Peak Horrible. Can Bok match or exceed it? Stay tuned to reason.com to find out!

Happy Friday, Reasonoids.

Also, fried chicken.
1. LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
  
  /Cue in "Dueling Banjos"
  
  Bok - [Looks at Payne comic and shakes head, turns to set of pens, inks and paper] "Damn it! How am I going to top this?!" [furiously draws and labels comic].
  
  (montage shot begins - Bok's 'effort' is shown on a future Friday Funnies)
  
  Payne - "Oh yeah?!" [Seizes his own set of art materials and begins work]
  
  ....
  1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
    
    /Cue in "Dueling Banjos"
    
    Bok: Libertarian boy, hey. Pretty boy. Gonna make you squeal like a pig
    
    Payne: Make him squeal!
    
    HyR: Please, God, no, not the... AAAAARGH, LABELZZZZ!!!
2. Russell 13 years ago
  
  Can Bok match or exceed it?
  
  No, it will take a spinach-fueled amatuer onslaught
Suthenboy 13 years ago

Fuck. Another school shooting???
Taft, Ca.

16 y/o walks into classroom with a shotgun and opens fire. Attempting to find out what kind of shotgun now.
1. EDG reppin' LBC 13 years ago
  
  That happened yesterday. Maybe you need to put down the mint julep, and pick up a newspaper?
  
  The LA Times is reporting the weapon used was a 12-gauge shotgun.
  1. Suthenboy 13 years ago
    
    It is vodka and grapefruit juice, not mint julep. I will put it down when you pry it from my limp, drunk fingers.
    
    I knew it was a shotgun, just wondered what kind. Pump? Semi-auto? Bolt ( rare these days )? Single or double crack barrel?
    1. EDG reppin' LBC 13 years ago
      
      Ohhhh I see. If it's an Elmer Fudd looking shotgun it won't be a big deal. But if it was a scary black assault shotgun with plastic things attached to it, you know VP Biden will be all for banning it.
  2. Ted S. 13 years ago
    
    That happened yesterday.
    
    And there was an H&R thread on it.
    
    I could understand missing Reason's posting about it if they had only posted to 24/7, however.
  3. Certified Public Asskicker 13 years ago
    
    and pick up a newspaper
    
    Talk about yesterday...
    1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
      
      Ka. Boom.
2. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  But with a happy ending (sort of) - no-one dead, and a teacher talked him out of proceeding
  
  more
  1. PS 13 years ago
    
    Huffington Post?
    
    Boo her (and hiss also)!
  2. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    I was there (about 1/2 mile away) when it went down. The townspeople out there are almost all armed to the teeth. I stopped in McDonalds probably an hour after it went down and word was it was a known feud between one kid and two others. Also from my local sources (which are very reliable), the kid that did the shooting had been suspended last year for threatening to shoot the other two and brandishing a gun in town. The local po-po did their job well and took the kid and gun home to his parents to deal with on that occasion. On this occasion they missed him because, get this, there's always an armed cop on duty at the high school, but the cop who was supposed to be on yesterday was snowed in and they didn't replace him because the other officers were on set traffic patrols. IOW, the revenue generation aspect of their job was more important than the public safety part of it. That's gonna cause some parents to b pissed off, especially the ones that got pulled over for speeding yesterday morning.
    
    To add fuel to the fire, the contract for the officers at the school had just changed when the Taft police department underbid the Kern County Sheriff's Dept, which had the contract up until recently. So look for a bit of an internal turf war as well.
  3. Reformed Republican 13 years ago
    
    Well, if she was armed, she could have just shot him instead.
3. Suthenboy 13 years ago
  
  Nothing so far. No word and no photos of the gun.
  
  I wonder now if Biden is going to recommend the confiscation of shotguns.
  
  Apparently this little fucker made a hit list a year ago. If a 6 y/o makes his finger into a gun he gets suspended and has to undergo psych evaluation. A 16 y/o who is being bullied draws up a hit list and .....nothing.
  
  People suck.
  1. Whiterun Guard 13 years ago
    
    No one died, so we know it wasn't a military style assault shotgun.
    1. Suthenboy 13 years ago
      
      Heh. I have an old stevens single barrel 12 ga. that I can load and shoot nearly as fast as a pump. I have a browning citori 20 ga. side-by-side that I can shoot as fast as a pump.
      
      Either one could be used to clean up just about any situation you can think of. Wouldnt it be ironic if one of these situations occured with such a gun, something completely off of the gun-control radar?
      1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
        
        Yeah, yeah, yeah, but are they like scary looking with black paint and pistol grips and stuff? I mean, that's what like really makes a gun dangerous and stuff.
        
        LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
        
        FLASH SUPPRESSORZZZZ!!!!!!
        
        Jeff 13 years ago
        
        It's flash suppressors and bayonet mounts what kills people.
        
        Restoras 13 years ago
        
        No no, it's teh BARREL SHROUDZZZZ!!!11!ELVENTY!
  2. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    From what I hear, it was a pump action 12-ga and he also had about 20 loose shells in his pockets. But it needs to be mentioned and emphasized that he specifically went after two other kids and even told the teacher that he did not want to shoot him and the pellet that grazed his head was an accident. He also let all the other kids in the classroom leave without incident after it was obvious he wasn't gonna get another chance to clip his second target.
squarooticus 13 years ago

This is awful. Hiring Aspies to explain the logic behind libertarianism is good; hiring them into a role requiring an understanding of what makes things funny demonstrates a clear misunderstanding of the problem.
Rick Santorum 13 years ago

LABELS
mr simple 13 years ago

Wow, with Payne really dialed this one on or Sarek has let himself go.
1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
  
  FINALLY. A Vulcan reference.
Stormy Dragon 13 years ago

I don't see why Payne has to engage in such baseless slander of Alfred Hitchcock.

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