As you sink into a heady blend of despair and cheap booze (hint: drain cleaner makes a lousy martini), the bright-eyed and ever-alert team at Reason 24/7 will be gathering election results and posting them here. Marvel at the wondrous results delivered to you by American democracy. Thrill, as the best this country has to offer are chosen to craft the legislation by which we'll live our lives until we shuffle, more eagerly than you can currently imagine, off this mortal coil.
Sit back, and behold …
So far. It's Indiana and Kentucky for Romney and Vermont for Obama. I know, that's a shocker.
Add West Virginia to Romney's column. That gives Romney 27 electoral votes to 3 for Obama. With a lot more to come.
CNN adds South Carolina to Romney's column, giving him 33 electoral votes to 3 for Obama.
Looks like Joe Manchin (WV) and Bernie Sanders (VT) are going back to the Senate. No surprise, either one.
Early Johnson Vote totals: NC .6% VA .8% GA .8% FL .4% SC .4% KY .9% IN 2.0% NH 2.3%
Connecticut, Delaware, D.C., Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Maine, and Rhode Island projected for Obama. Romney takes Oklahoma. That's 64 electoral votes for Obama and 40 for Romney.
Georgia -- not a shocker -- goes for Romney. That 56 electoral votes for Romney to Obama's 64.
Maine's Portland Press Herald calls the Senate race for Independent Angus King.
AP calls Tennessee for Romney, swing states still too close to call.
With 25 percent of precincts reporting in Florida, No on Question 1, which prohibits state funding for abortion, is leading by 10 percent, while No on Question 6, prohibiting enforcement of the health insurance mandate, is leading by 5 percent. Bill Nelson (D) has been projected to retain his Senate seat against a challenge from Connie Mack (R).
Massachusetts looks to pass Question 2, right to die legislation.
CNN projects a cluster of midwestern states for Mitt Romney, and usual suspects for Obama. Which puts Mittens at 152 to 123 for Barry.
In projecting the Connecticut Senate race, Politico says, "Chris Murphy tops Linda McMahon," which is a visual image you didn't need. Nevertheless, that seat stays donkey.
CNN projects the House to stay Republican with some possible GOP pickups — and the Senate to stay Democrat, with some possible Democrat pickups.
Gay marriage, early on, looks to be passing in Maryland, but trailing in Maine.
Thomas Massie, a Rand Paul endorsee, pulls it out (projected) in Kentucky.
Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D) has been re-elected Minnesota, seeing off GOP challenger Kurt Bills.
Penalties on medical marijuana look to be eliminated by ballot initiative in Massachusetts, where the ayes have it by a nearly two-to-one margin with 16 percent in.
Five of Michigan's six proposals have been defeated, as of 9:32pm ET Proposal 1 is too close to call.
Fox calls Wisconsin for Obama.
Obama has won Pennsylvania as midwest continues to deliver for the President.
CNN calls Pennsylvania for Obama. It's getting tougher for Mittens.
The AP has called the Indiana Senate race for Democrat Joe Donnelly. It was a close race, and libertarian candidate Andrew Horning is getting about 6 percent of the vote, enough to help sink Richard Mourdock's chances.
Elizabeth Warren looks headed for the Senate, which Democrats will likely lock-up tonight.
Utah goes Romney, as if that was ever in doubt.
CNN calls New Hampshire for Obama (that's what happens when the border area turns into a bedroom community for Boston).
Claire McCaskill send Todd Akin back to the fifteenth century in Missouri's Senate race. Fare thee well, Todd.
Popular vote-wise, Mitt Romney currently has 51 percent of the national popular vote to Barack Obama's 48 percent, at 10:30pm ET.
Minnesota goes for Obama, Arizona for Romney. Pick up your jaw. That's 169 for Romney and 157 for Obama.
SHOCKER! California for Obama. Well, not so much a shocker. All states called so far, give Obama 228 to 176 for Romney.
Wisconsin called for Obama, and North Carolina for Romney. That's 238 for Obama and 191 for Romney.
CNN is projecting that the Dems will hold the Senate, and the GOP will hold the House. If Obama keeps the White House, we just spent a large fortune to do … nothing.
Projections now put Obama at 256 to Romney's 191 electoral votes.
Make that 256 (Obama) to 201 (Romney).
CNN is calling the whole thing for Barry.
Missouri passes a ban on Obamacare Healthcare exchanges (Prop. E).
Washington appears to have signed off on legal pot with Amendment 64!
Virignia passes eminent domain amendment.
The sissies in Oregon appear to have thumbs-downed legal grass (Measure 80).
But Washington makes up for its neighbor by legalizing marijuana (Initiative 502).
Alabama passes amendment 6, which means residents cannot be forced into a healthcare plan.
Georgia passes an amendment establishing a process to set up and approve charter schools in the state.
Justin Amash is leading 57-40 with 41 percent of precincts reporting.
Alabama enshrines the right to a secret ballot with the passage of amendment 7.
Arizona's Prop. 120, asserting state control over federal lands, goes down to crushing defeat -- but so does Prop. 121, seeking to create a top-two primary that would be the death of third parties.
Jeff Flake wins the Senate race in Arizona, defeating the rather odious Richard Carmona.
At 12:24 pm ET, Romney still leads in the popular vote. That's unlikely to continue, but what fun.
By three to one, Louisiana voters approve Constitutional Amendment 2, reaffirming the right to keep and bear arms.
At 1:15am ET, Gary Johnson has one percent of the vote, just shy of one million votes. That's the best Libertarian tota since 1980.