A.M. Links: Election Day in the U.S., Media Blackout for Chinese Leadership Transition, Suicide Bomber Kills 27 in Iraq

Leadership transitions in the U.S. and China


  • don't blame me i voted for kodos

    It's election day so vote early and often, and if you see something say something. The first votes were cast in two villages in New Hampshire after midnight and polls elsewhere in the U.S. are beginning to open this morning. Lawyers are excited about the role they'll play. A tracking poll showed Obama and Romney both with 47 percent headed into election day while John Boehner is convinced Republicans can hold their lead and possibly expand it in the House.  The presidential candidates have spent about $22 per vote yielded from online advertising. The next president has a lot to look forward to, new technologies will make it easier for him to kill.

  • The transition of leadership in China, meanwhile, is happening under a total media blackout.
  • A Utah man could face the death penalty for killing one officer and injuring five others in a botched drug raid. The man says police did not identify themselves and he thought his home was being invaded (which it was). Police say they didn't know anyone would be home and several officers neglected to wear bullet proof vests.
  • A Peter Thiel fellow, along with a dozen others, is trying to build 50 tools needed to start civilization from the ground up.
  • A suicide bomber at an Iraqi military base in Baghdad killed 27.
  • A Pennsylvania man faces 25 years in prison for stealing lobsters.

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NEXT: Chinese Leadership Change Happening Amid Media Blackout

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  1. Remember, first-time voters, the Diebold machine totally changes once you give it your flower. Best keep those civic duty hymens as pristine as Ralph Nader chads.

    1. Will it lose it’s soul?

      1. +1 Buffy

      2. I don’t know if it will lose it is soul.

        1. That’s what I get for buying this 3rd-rate speech-to-text software!

          1. Shhhhh, it can hear you!

            1. Yes, but it heard “this great speech-to-text software”.

              1. Ha, nice.

  2. Ke$ha in a swimsuit. (note the lack of explanation point, view at your own risk)

    1. If something like that would wash ashore here they would take it to a seapark.

      1. My oh my, you guys are harsh.

        1. Well, at least Jerry didn’t say “detonate it in place”.

    2. Why did I do it? WHY!?

    3. Who was saying they were fond of that creature yesterday? Fess up!

      1. Sparky worships her for reasons unknown.

        1. Reasons unknown to you. But that’s just because you’re a dinosaur.

          1. Vomit.

          2. My response to the song:

            “Not enough beer in the world, honey. Not enough beer in the world.”

    4. She’s not that bad for a middle aged woman. What is she now, 48, 49?

      1. Just wait till all the kids who comment here get to the age where they can no longer realistically obtain the quality of female companionship they did in their yutes.

        She’s not fantastic, but she’s better than I could hope to have.

        1. You, my friend, have lowered your standards to subterranean levels and I applaud you for it. A man’s got to know his limitations.

        2. You, my friend, have lowered your standards to subterranean levels and I applaud you for it. A man’s got to know his limitations.

        3. Just wait till all the kids who comment here get to the age where they can no longer realistically obtain the quality of female companionship they did in their yutes.

          Speak for yourself. I traded my former wife in for a much newer model. Sleek chassis, large knobs, plenty of power…

    5. What’s the matter with her face? Also, how is Ke$ha a white chicks name?

  3. Floating bar survives Sandy only to be destroyed by the police.

  4. Kenyan witch doctor predicts Obama will win. Who can argue with that?

    1. Still more scientific than aggregate poll reading.

    2. Ooh, ee
      ooh ah ah
      Ting tang
      Walla walla bing bang

    3. Nate Silver isn’t Kenyan.

      1. Curse you for being quicker on the draw!

      2. You can’t say that until you’ve seen his long form birth certificate.

    4. “No, honey, I said you should marry a *rich* doctor!”

    5. Billy Witch Doctor Dot Com feel more…comfortable…with Obama.

      1. Two party voters are Sofa King We Todd Ed

  5. SUV driver ignores stop sign, gets hit by airplane.

    1. See, if the driver hadn’t been texting, none of this would have happened!

    2. Look left, right, left… they never mention “up.”

      1. Ive never understood “left right left”. “Right left” is good enough.

        1. I would want to assess first whether I was too far out in the intersection. But perhaps that poorly speaks to my driving skills.

        2. It’s early political indoctrination.

          1. +1 fraudulent vote

    3. The student pilot says he’s never flying again. It looks like he actually did pretty well after losing half his landing gear.

      1. Pussy.

  6. Randy Barnett: The Mistake That Is the Libertarian Party
    Voting the LP line could swing the election to the Democrats. That’s not an outcome libertarians should hope for.

    Some have defended the LP by saying it is an expressive outlet for political libertarians, as distinct from more intellectual or policy types. Here too the LP has been counterproductive. By drawing libertarian politicos from both major parties, the LP makes these parties less libertarian at the margin than they would otherwise be. In each major-party coalition, the libertarian element is weaker precisely to the extent that libertarian politicos are expending their energies on behalf of the LP.

    Libertarian activists should choose whichever party they feel more comfortable working within. That’s what Ron Paul did. Likewise, Rand Paul has brought his libertarianism inside the GOP tent. The small-“l” libertarians in the tea party movement identified the Republican Party as the coalition closest to their concerns about fiscal responsibility and the growth of government power, and they have gone about making the GOP more libertarian from the grass-roots up. They have moved the party in a libertarian direction, as has the Republican Liberty Caucus.

    1. I like Randy Barnett, but honestly, its never gonna be a good time to break with the major parties. If this isn’t the best time, then I guess he and all the other liberpublicans shouldn’t have wasted that argument on me in ’08.

    2. Randy Barnett. Blow me.

    3. “That’s what Ron Paul did.”

      And look how we treated him!

    4. His wicked talk on polycentric legal orders

    5. So voting for a big-government “moderate” who is barely more conservative than Obama will teach the GOP to run libertarians in the future how?

      Ideally Romney will lose and the Republicans will finally realize they need to put up actual alternatives, setting the stage for Rand Paul in 2016. If Romney wins any chance libertarians have on the national stage is done for the next decade, if not ever.

      1. Unfortunately, if Romney loses, they’ll probably run Ricky Santorum in 2016.

        Doesn’t matter anyway, the financial stage has been set. This train ain’t stoppin’ till the end of the line.

        1. Unfortunately, if Romney loses, they’ll probably run Ricky Santorum in 2016.

          And lose again!

          Goodbye Whig…err…Republican party. It was good knowing you… briefly!

        2. I first read that as “Sticky Santorum”. Is there a teenage girl around to react properly to my dyslexic fuck up?

        3. Maybe. Rand has made a lot of inroads among “Christian Conservatives” in Iowa and elsewhere, while still retaining broader appeal (unlike Santorum).

      2. If Romney wins any chance libertarians have on the national stage is done for the next decade, if not ever.

        I disagree. The best opportunity to break the duopoly will be when a major crisis hits, and we will get one of those before 10 years. Maybe within 2 or 3. The country is deeply divided, and its institutions and economy are very fragile right now.

        When the hammer hits, there will be a window of opportunity for realignment. I’m not terribly optimistic that libertarian thought will emerge from the fringes to become one of the dominant paradigms, but that’ll be our best chance.

    6. The small-“l” libertarians in the tea party movement identified the Republican Party as the coalition closest to their concerns about fiscal responsibility and the growth of government power, and they have gone about making the GOP more libertarian from the grass-roots up they went ahead and fucked it up during the primaries by voting, en masse, for the likes of Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, then eventually settled on Mitt Fucking Romney.


      Fuck off Randy Barnett. There is a reason why libertarians aren’t going to vote for Romney, and it isn’t because we don’t like Mormons.

      They will try and blame it on libertarians should Obama win, but one should be convinced that Team RED is nuclear level stupid when they couldn’t get a guy who could beat fucking Obama. ANYONE wort a shit should have been able to beat him handily.

      1. and it isn’t because we don’t like Mormons

        Speak for yourself.

        Also, Insomnium is really good live. Catch them on this tour if you can.

        1. I’d love to go see Insomnium, but it just isn’t able to happen this tour. I have a guest in town, and he won’t want to go see a melo-death show.

      2. I’m wicha, mlg.

        What a massive disappointment that the Tea Party turned out, when push came to shove, to be all about the SoCons. I had real hopes that they might actually be more about fiscal conservatism/smaller government/libertarianism, but that ain’t how they voted.

        1. It hurts to see the predictions comes true.

      3. Beating Obama is a cakewalk, sure, but beating Obama and the bulk of the press is a little harder.

  7. A Pennsylvania man faces 25 years in prison for stealing lobsters.

    And yet no sideboob picture accompanying A.M. Links.

    1. God damn you. I was going to comment about the lack of a Lobster Girl photo accompanying this. You beat me to the punch.

      1. Well I guess you’re just going to have put your pervert cap on a little earlier in the morning.

        1. Can I buy a pervert cap on Amazon?

          1. sadly this is the closest you can get

        2. It’s more a problem of a slow internet connection out in the sticks. I’m a pervert 24/7. 🙂

          1. Oh the humanity! Surely we can hold a benefit for you and other isolated masturbators. Stroke Aid has a nice ring to it

            1. At least I’m not as isolated as those Antipodeans!

    2. And he made a spelling error too – is it not “lobstah” anyway?

      1. Not in Pennsylvania it isn’t.

        It’s laaawbsterr.

      2. Not in PA…

        In PA, lobsters fall off the back of trucks.

  8. A Peter Thiel fellow, along with a dozen others, is trying to build 50 tools needed to start civilization from the ground up.

    #1: a password protector? https://reason.com/24-7/2012/11…..ed-tens-of

    1. Don’t we have most of the tools already?

      1. That depends on whether you see civilization when you look out your window.

      2. We have the tools. We can rebuild it faster, bigger, stronger.

        1. + $6,000,000

          1. Nowadays doesn’t that translate to +$6 trillion?

      3. If you want a bunch of tools, just go to DC.

    2. Obviously a terrorist.

  9. A US woman caught on camera driving on a footpath to avoid a school bus that was unloading children will have to stand at an intersection wearing a sign warning about idiots.


    1. Honest question for our US Constitutional scholars: How does this pass ‘cruel and unusual’ muster, when the stocks are explicitly forbidden?

      1. People aren’t being explicitly encouraged to throw things at her?

      2. Well, the 9th (!) circuit upheld a public shaming sentence. I think they did so because they found that the judge had chosen a punishment reasonably aimed at rehabilitation, which is a valid reason to choose a criminal punishment. U.S. v. Gementera, I think.

        1. Gementera? The giant flying turtle with the flame jets?

          1. Wait, you mean U.S. vs Mecha-Sidney Poitier then, right?

            1. Couldn’t they just reauchambeau for it?

        2. So if we tried stocks and found them rehabilitative…

      3. I’m guessing she was given a choice between doing a little jail time or being publicly shamed.

        Several years ago, I was driving through a smallish Texas town, and saw a guy walking around the county courthouse wearing a sandwich board. I forget what it said, but it was the same kind of deal.

      4. I was always under the impression that you needed BOTH cruel and unusual for a constitutional objection. It could be cruel if it was usual or unusual if it wasn’t cruel.
        People making fun of you didn’t used to be criminally cruel….sticks and stones and all that, but since hate speech/harassment/anti-bullying laws are throwing the first amendment under the bus, who knows?

    2. “Only an idiot drives on the footpath to avoid a school bus.”

      How about, only a bunch of idiots decide they will sit around with their dicks in their hands waiting for kids to cross the street every five minutes at the end of the school day? Man do I hate school buses.

  10. Why Drones Stayed Out of Sight in the 2012 Campaign

    In the foreign-policy debate on Oct. 22, moderator Bob Schieffer of CBS asked Obama’s opponent, Mitt Romney, about the use of drones. Romney responded, “I support that entirely and feel the president was right to up the usage of that technology and believe that we should continue to use it to continue to go after the people who represent a threat to this nation and to our friends.”

    This bouquet in hand, Obama didn’t even have to use the word “drone” when his turn came to speak.

    Neither side wants to look softer than the other on terrorists. Hence the bipartisan support for the strikes. Liberal groups that might be inclined to protest the policy have been quiet because Obama put it in place. The lack of debate about our reliance on drones is a shame, because there are both practical and moral objections to it.

    1. drones are only problematic when a Repub POTUS uses them because the anti-war left goes into remission whenever a Dem is in the White House.

      1. Not anymore.

      2. There is no anti-war left. There is an anti-war when Team RED is running shit left, but that’s it. It’s a charade, not a policy position.

        1. There is an anti war left. It just doesn’t make up a significant part of the Democratic party.

          1. And yet virtually everyone who is part of the so-called anti-war left will vote Team BLUE today. Because if not, Romney will get us in to more wars. Or something.

    2. Liberal groups are quiet when their Prez puts in place warmongering policies, and conservative groups are quiet when their Prez puts in place socialist policies. Thus ratcheting up the stupid in DC.

      Only Nixon could go to China.

      1. It’s warmongering socialism all the way down.

  11. I voted for Gary Johnson and against all the other incumbents.

    I was supposed to color in the box with the name in it, and leave the blank circle blank, right?

    1. Isn’t it fun voting against incumbents? I try to find joy in the little things, I know.

      1. Ive got 4 to vote against for my city council. 5 names on the ballot, choose 4, but Im only voting for the one non-incumbent.

        1. Unfortunately all my incumbents are going to win. My only fun today will be watching most (it is California after all) of the revenue propositions fail.

    2. I voted for Johnson too. All the other positions, I voted for candidates from all parties. I figure the results will the same in the end, so why not be promiscuous? Voted Libertarian, Democratic, Republican, Green, and Working Families Party.

      1. I voted Lib, except for two candidates I know personally – a Dem for Sheriff, and a Repub for State Rep (who was unopposed, anyway).

        Unopposed candidates I otherwise left blank. Unfortunately, the idiot judge who presided over the armed raids on the Mormon nutters at YFZ Ranch (remember that?) was unopposed, so I couldn’t vote against her.

    3. I did the same, though this basically makes me a TEAM RED hack. I would also like to know why my state requires a constitutional amendment to allow the legislature to force judges to pay into their state-provided health insurance policies.

      1. Probably because your Constitution prohibits the legislature from reducing the pay of judges, and this has been interpreted (by judges!) as meaning that their net pay (after benefits) can’t be reduced.

        Of course, it seems like this would also mean they are immune from any income tax hikes. We’ll see if they have the stones to be consistent on that issue.

      2. NJ I see

  12. The transition of leadership in China, meanwhile, is happening under a total media blackout.

    Lucky bastards.

      1. Lacist!

  13. A Pennsylvania man faces 25 years in prison for stealing lobsters.

    I didn’t RTFA, but I have to assume he was kidnapping women who had just eaten lobster.

  14. Study: Teens With Lesbian Mothers Do Better In School, Happier In Life

    Teens living in homes with lesbian mothers are proving to be more successful in school and generally happier in life.

    A new study has found that 17-year-olds with lesbian mothers had high school GPAs ranging between A-minus to B-plus, while having strong family bonds with their mothers, whom the teens consider good role models. The Williams Institute at UCLA, which conducted “Adolescents with Lesbian Mothers Describe Their Own Lives,” tracked 78 adolescents over a 26-year period.

    1. Because they get to watch!

      1. cos all lesbians are super hot, of course

        1. Nope. Not falling for the obvious bait.

          1. You don’t think Rosie O’Donnell is super hot?

            1. You don’t think Rosie O’Donnell is super hot?

              Considering what she used to look and act, she is much better. I guess having a massive “widow-maker” heart attack will do that for you.

              But no, not super hot. Or hot. Or even simmering.

            2. Maybe in spots….friction doncha know!

        2. Rojo Caliente!

    2. As compared to what? How many teens without lesbian mothers did they track?

      1. They tracked 78 kids. Stop asking questions!

    3. Take that, single mothers!

    4. What about lesbians trapped in a man’s body, like myself?

      1. Brother! … or is it Sister!

        1. It’s “Person!,” you inconsiderate person.

          /Swedish elementary school teacher

    1. Nate Silver: Peruvian Shamans have an 80% chance of being right.

    2. Using maracas, coca leaves and a hallucinogenic brew, a group of Peruvian shamans has determined that Mr Obama will be re-elected on Tuesday.

      Wonder what the margin of error on *that* is.

      1. Wonder what the margin of error on *that* is.

        47%, doh!

      2. I’m gonna say the error bars are damn wide, because I’ve predicted lots of shit on coca leaves (refined, admittedly) and hallucinogenic brews that has never come to pass.

        Although, maybe I just didn’t give it enough time. That 9 armed monkey demon may show up yet.

  15. A tracking poll showed Obama and Romney both with 47 percent headed into election day

    For crying out loud, give it a rest already, reason!

    1. Apparently the Obama supporters are resting – given the light turnout for his last stop in OH.


      1. What’s funny is the CBS news video accompanying the story: “The campaign said they were deliberately visiting small towns and high schools…”

        yeah, right. That explains the half empty arena.

        1. Wait… the campaign is saying that Columbus is a small town, or is it just a high school?

          1. Exactly…if you’re in DC (or NY or Cali) everything in Ohio is a bunch of small towns 😉

        2. “Seventeen years and fifteen albums later, Spinal Tap is still going strong, and they’ve ….. I, I, I just think that the.. uh.. their appeal is becoming more selective.”

          1. Grah, everyone is faster today than I am! I am going to go back to my impersonation of a 19th Century consumptive.

            1. Don’t you dare write poetry.

              1. No worries, Collridge’s drugs are already wearing off.

        3. He is playing to a more selective audience.

        4. ..the Spinal Tap strategy… very effective.

        1. Dead voters don’t participate in exit polls.

          1. where are the exit seances when you need them?

            1. “Arise chicken. Chicken, arise!”

              1. Ultra mecha-chicken? SHH! He is legend!

        2. The fix is in?

          1. “That vote for Romney — you didn’t cast that.”

        3. The polls in Wheaton (Romney territory) were nuts this morning. Don’t blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

        4. True. Exit polls are more of a reflection of the votes that were cast, not the votes that were counted.

    2. I’m surprised they didn’t sneak a Ground Zero mosque mention in there.

  16. McGurn: Sandy and the Failures of Blue-Statism
    Of all the vulnerabilities exposed by this storm, the biggest hit may have been to Blue State Liberalism.

    The silliness of those episodes speaks to a serious point about the great vulnerability of 21st-century American liberalism: an inability to set the priorities necessary for good government. As a result, government grows both bigger and less capable, especially for people who do not have the resources to fund other options. As Walter Russell Mead argued recently on his blog at The American Interest, our biggest cities represent a “colossal failure of blue social policy to create sustainable lower middle class prosperity.”

    1. “liberalism is increasingly big brother meets blue nose.”

      The irony is that modern American liberalism has become a movement grounded less in practical politics than a sort of religious fervor?and often requiring the same strong faith in the face of disappointment and failure. The difference, of course, is that while religions often promise to deliver in the next world, government is supposed to do it in this one.

      1. The irony is that modern American liberalism has become a movement grounded less in practical politics than a sort of religious fervor?and often requiring the same strong faith in the face of disappointment and failure.

        At least in terms of its base supporters, this is entirely correct. When I pointed out to my hard-left professor buddy on FB that Obama hadn’t done anything differently than Bush (and threw in a bunch of statistical data to support it), I got a load boilerplate campaign rhetoric in response, which basically amounted to a recitation of dogma.

        The left has essentially adopted the religious methodology of the socons they despise.

    2. the great vulnerability of 21st-century American liberalism: an inability to set the priorities necessary for good government.

      If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.

  17. Navy test-fires missiles from robot boats

    U.S. Navy ships face the growing threat of small boat swarms used by terrorists, pirates or enemy countries. New testing has shown off a possible counter that looks strangely similar except for the lack of human sailors ? small robot boats armed with missiles.

    The Navy launched six missiles from an unmanned surface boat ? called the unmanned surface vessel precision engagement module (USV PEM) ? during testing on Oct. 24. The 36-foot robot boat carries both missiles and a .50 caliber machine gun that can take on small boats that may threaten larger Navy warships.

    I for one welcome our drone boat overlords.

    1. Couldn’t we just put double-mounted M-2 machine gun turrets on our ships and be done with it, instead of wasting money on robat boats armed with missiles??

      1. Why not use these?

        1. Or better yet, this.

          1. Or….

    2. Michael: Faster, Knight Boat! We’ve gotta catch those starfish poachers!
      Knight Boat: You don’t have to yell, Michael, I’m all around you.
      [the poachers leap off their jetskis and onto motorcycles]
      Michael: We’ll never catch them now!
      Knight Boat: Incorrect. Look: a canal.
      Homer: Go, Knight Boat, go!
      Bart: [groans] Oh, every week there’s a canal.
      Lisa Simpson: Or an inlet.
      Bart: Or a fjord.
      Homer: Quiet! I will not hear another word against the Boat.

      1. Thanks for that – the first smile of the day!

  18. ‘U.S. Per Person Debt Now 35 Percent Higher than that of Greece’

    “According to estimates from the International Monetary Fund, America’s total government debt will be $16.8 trillion by the end of the calendar year, compared to $441 billion for Greece,” the Republican side of the Senate Budget Committee explains. “On a per person basis, that means U.S. debt is $53,400 for every man, woman, and child, compared to $39,400 for every man, woman, and child in Greece. The disparity between per capita debt in the U.S. and Greece has grown 40 percent (roughly $8,400) since 2011. Now, U.S. per person debt is 35 percent higher than that of Greece, and is also higher than per capita debt in Portugal, Italy, or Spain (which together with Greece make up the so-called PIGS countries).”

    thank god we can just print more money!

    1. I suppose we could also create more people to decrease the per-capita debt. 🙂

      1. Rape Camps to the rescue!

        1. Penis-kisses for all the ladies!

        2. Where is that Joe prick. See, god damn it. That was a funny rape joke.

      2. Now there’s a good case for increased immigration.

  19. If you’re one of the people who is in fact heading to the polls today, please take a moment or two to keep the Benghazi Four (Ambassador Christopher Stevens, Tyrone Woods, Sean Smith, and Glen Doherty) and the Fort Hood Thirteen who were massacred three years ago yesterday in your thoughts.

    If we’re lucky, maybe their needless and senseless murders won’t have been totally in vain. They, and we, deserve so much better than this.

    1. Mike M.

      I kept them in mind when I voted by mail-in. Libertarian straight ticket.

    2. Definitely don’t keep all those hundreds of murdered Third World children in your thoughts.

      1. I did, hence why I didn’t vote for Obama. I don’t know what point you’re trying to meet.

        And just as a heads-up, Romney is NOT THE INCUMBENT.

    1. A fictionalized version of her life. Where she doesn’t spend her early 20s making decisions that reflect her Lousiana trailer park origins. Should be interesting.

  20. It’s time for my yearly speech. Remember fear is our ally.

  21. I’ve already given up on voting once today. I left home early to stop by the polling place when it opened at 7 on my way to work. It’s only 1.5 blocks from my apartment, so I figured it’d be convenient… The line was about 3 blocks long and moving at around 1 person every 30 seconds. Maybe I’ll be able to squeeze it in between work and bar trivia. If not, sorry folks, but beer for me *imagine greater than sign here* medical marijuana for someone else.

    1. Luckily I live in the sticks. Should be a breeze to vote later today. I’ll cast an extra one for you.

      1. Me too. I live about 3/4 of a mile from my polling place, and since the sun is out, I plan to walk like I always do. (Not that anybody notices it, but I consider it a political statement. If I can walk to the polling station, then everybody else ought to stop bitching about any difficulties they have in voting. What the fuck do we need weeks of early voting for, anyway?)

        1. What the fuck do we need weeks of early voting for, anyway?

          You gotta have time to get dead folks to the polls.

      2. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a line at the polls. I was shocked. Though I used to have to drive about 10 miles to get there.

      3. No waiting at my polling place (rural TX). I suspect that highly motivated folks do early voting, so most of my neighbors voted early (Obama is Not Popular in these parts, pardner).

        1. Damn, I miss TX!

    2. No line at all by me. Just old ladies with grease pens and old men with Scott Brown signs.

      1. Somerville is pretty densely populated.

  22. I voted. I wrote in Barry Soetoro.

    1. Watch it be counted towards Obama

      1. That would have worked 20 years ago, but not today.

    2. They’ll find a way to make that count.

  23. Holy shit, that guy’s having a seizure. Well, the cops have a cure for that.

    1. Aw c’mon sloopy – like today isn’t enough of a punch to the testicles?!

      1. hey your day has only just begun. I live in the future so I know how it turned out

        1. I know how it turned out

          I gots to know, ifh. Landslide for Johnson?

          1. you don’t want the lottery numbers instead?

            1. Yes! Encrypt them so no one else knows, and I’ll cut you in for a third.

            2. I’d like the lottery numbers, ifh. Then I can lead a life of even greater luxury with more moncoles and servants!

              1. More of the same will only shrink your soul to the size of a sultana. I refuse to enable that. The numbers go to those who will dare to spend the money in a fashion that will cause lesser souls to seize up in wonder and adoration

                1. Then send them to me, and I will have a giant statue of me in white marble commissioned – I will be clad only in top hat, monocle and a strategically placed grape leaf. The base shall have inscripted the following:

                  “Forward, to Somalia!”

                  1. Grape leaf?

                    Isnt that what they wrap those little vienna sausage sized greek appetizers in?

                    Not sure what your strategy is.

                    1. The grape leaf is just strategically placed to hide the herpes lesion….

                2. And here I was just going to commission a 100 foot tall sculpture of Warty to loom over the Houston skyline.

                3. If I won the lottery, I’d buy a house in Whistler and a house in Queenstown. That way, I’d see neither the United States nor summer again as long as I lived. That should cause the warm-weather pussies around here to seize up in wonder. Adoration? Probably not.

                  1. If I won the lottery, I’d find a place that would let me hunt a hipster for real.

                  2. Adoration? Probably not.

                    Absolutely. I hate hot weather.

    2. Is anyone shocked by this?… besides Scott Sheeley?

    3. Shit. Why do cops respond to medical emergencies, anyway?

      1. Never pass an opportunity to inflict violence on a defenseless victim.

    4. “Defendant Norman and Sederquest acted with reckless or callous disregard of or indifference to plaintiff’s rights and safety.”

      What else do you expect from a cop? Seriously.

      1. I didn’t read the article. I assume the result was a paid suspension?

  24. This morning on Bloomberg the chief of the economics reporters was giving a mini-lecture on statistics and margin of error. I believe he concluded Bush’s fourth term will be spearheaded by The Zero.

    No mention of sample quality, however.

    I remain dubious.

  25. Matthew David Stewart might be on trial for his life, but the cops aren’t going to take his house – because it’s underwater.


  26. Remember, boys and girls, Voting is the Best Revenge.

    1. But, only do it for love of country.

  27. When we do something like this, it’s called assault and battery. When they do it, it’s a civil rights violation that carries a much lighter sentence. Maybe if our friends and co-workers were charged with investigating our misdeeds, we’d get off without the more serious charges as well.

    1. Damn, sloop, you’re on rage patrol today. I can’t read another one after the seizure article though.

    2. Not that much of a lighter sentence. He is looking at Federal charges. A conviction would mean he serves his entire sentence. No shock probation, no parole. Looks like for once the Feds are doing something right.

      1. Oh, the Feds are doing their job here. I just wish the local cops and DA’s would step up and file charges where appropriate. All too often, one of these goons beats the shit out of someone and is not charged with A&B with a handgun enhancement like a “civilian” would be.

  28. So apparently PA might be in play for Romney, and when you combine that with that with my undying hatred for Obama, you get a guy who is starting to consider Romney over GJ.

    Oh god, someone talk me down from this ledge. Hopefully these horrid fellings will pass by the time I go and vote after work.

    1. Man on a ledge! Nobody call the cops!

      1. Please don’t! Today sucks enough without getting tased and beaten.

        1. God don’t be such a drama queen. They won’t taser and beat you. They’ll just shoot you. Sheesh…

          1. Knowing the competence of the police where I live, they’ll probably miss all of my vital organs.

            1. Yeah, but you’ll still fall off the ledge when they shoot you, so gunshot wounds and multiple fractures. Just go back inside and hurry out the back before the cops arrive.

      2. they know how to get men off ledges. Snipers need real-world training, you know.

    2. I’ll confess I was tempted too…and then I remembered that Mitt Romney still likes the pre-existing conditions requirement of Obamacare and is saber-rattling harder about Iran.

      Stay strong!

    3. Romney is just Obama’s GOP doppleganger. By voting for him, you’re just voting for the status quo. You’re fucked either way, so vote your conscience.

    4. If PA is within 1 vote, the Supremes will decide it anyway, so go ahead and vote Johnson.

      1. Which way would Diana Ross decide it?

        1. depends on whether she’s still got that love hangover

        2. Full of win

    5. That’s why you should live in a heavily-TEAM state? you can always vote your conscience because you already know who’s going to win!

    6. Look Sego, you’re just being tempted by the thought of the tears. The salty, salty tears. But you gotta remember… they won’t taste as hammy unless they’re genuine. Nothing you do is gonna make it happen. You just have to wait – wait, and hope, up there on the ledge, that someone will bring you that ice cold dewy refreshment.

      Now get your damn monocle back on and come on inside and we’ll have the help fix you up a snack.

    7. Now, now. Nate Silver has assured us that PA is 98.8% sure to go to Obama:


      So, go ahead and NOT waste your vote by voting for Johnson.

    8. If our PA Johnson votes are more than the margin between Obamney, imagine the partisan tears.

      I may be the only Johnson vote in Cheltenham, but damnit it’ll be there.

      1. Voted for Johnson this morning at Election Ground Zero: Ohio.

      2. Jesus, you live in Cheltenham? You poor bastard. I lived there during my college years.

        1. It is pretty nice, and very cheap for the Northeast. What do you dislike about it?

          1. Huh, maybe I lived in the crappy part? Ogontz ave, right at the end of rt. 309. I thought it sucked.

            1. Oh, right by the mall? Yeah that area does seem less nice than further southeast. And the ShopRite barely deserves the name of a grocery store.

              1. Yep, right by the mall. That ShopRite was where I bought my groceries. That place was a complete disgrace.

          2. But then again I’m just a simple misanthrope from the heart of Amish country, so anywhere lots of people have gathered, I’m going to have a bad time.

    9. If you’re on a ledge, get yourself a copy of Fourteen Hours.

    10. Just think: your vote will not make the difference. If it comes down to one vote, the courts will decide it. Your vote matters only to you and your conscience, if you have one. Vote for the candidate who agrees most with you. Don’t give in to the lesser evil, and remember how you will feel about casting your vote later.

    11. Whew, ok guys, I feel better now. Momentary lapse. Just needed to crush up and snort a few xanax and I’m right as rain.

    12. Don’t do it, man. Tomorrow you will realize that your vote really didn’t matter and feel all dirty.

    13. I voted for Kerry on 2004 and haven’t felt quite right since. It’s not worth it.

    14. Just assume that the Philly fraud machine will neutralize whatever advantage Romney has in actual votes and vote for Johnson.

  29. Gotta love reason 24/7.

    Who’s Jeff Warrens?

    1. give them a break. When you’re recycling day-old news you don’t have enough time to check the details as carefully as you can when you’re sitting on a story for three weeks

    2. Fixed, and without a hat tip. Even Jeff Warrens has more decency than that.

      1. I don’t see a fix. 🙁

        1. 2nd time today you’ve proven me dumb. I read the content instead of the headline. You’re right, still not fixed.

  30. I just voted (GJ for pres, favorite cartoon characters for the others), and was appalled to see corruption all over my polling place.

    First, there was free coffee. Clearly an attempt by the Dems to buy my vote.
    Then, there was a long line. Clearly an attempt by the Repubs to suppress my vote.
    Then I got bumped into a short line (by benefit of the first letter of my last name). Dem bribery, again.
    Then I didn’t need to show ID to get my ballot. Voter fraud… party uncertain.
    Then I overheard another voter complaining that her booth didn’t have one of the special pens. She was told they’d run out of the pens. Damned Repubs and their suppression!

    Where’s Jimmy Carter and the UN when you need them???

    1. People in my line would have killed for a cup of coffee. But no all we got was the pleasure of having fake nice conversations with the other assholes standing in line to vote for some assholes.

      Voting IS a waste of time.

      1. I filled out my absentee ballot for Johnson weeks ago. No need to interact with all the statists voting for Obama (or, on occasion, Romney) here.

    2. Don’t leave us hanging: which cartoon characters?

    3. I have fond memories of my rural polling station in Wisconsin.

      Staffed by the local ladies, who always laid in an ample supply of coffee and pastries.

      Plus, they knew nearly everybody on sight, so you didn’t even have to stop at the registration station on your way to the goodies.

  31. Cop given two day vacation for posting photo of cash seized in a drug bust. I guess the chief is pissed the public will now want the money accounted for. And they were so hoping to have that department Christmas party in Hawaii this year.

    1. I might be willing to chip in for a department Christmas party in Hawaii, on condition that they don’t return.

      1. I’ll do the same. In fact, I’ll buy the gas and personally fuel the plane for that trip over the Pacific Ocean.

        1. Oooh, ended up a couple o’ gallons short – sorry lads!

      2. I might be willing to chip in for a department Christmas party in Hawaii, on condition that they don’t return.

        Please don’t. We have enough fuckwad cops here in Hawaii as it is.

        1. Turn Hawaii into a bunch of prison islands, and let people like protefeed leave.

          1. I’m not entirely sure I CAN leave, at least not on an airplane, given the encounter I had with the TSA at McCarren Intl following the LP convention in Vegas.

            Dunno how I find out if I’m on a no-fly list or not.

            1. Here’s a hint: try getting on a plane and see what happens.

        2. And Dog Chapman!

        3. Please don’t. We have enough fuckwad cops here in Hawaii as it is.

          Steve McGarrett is coming after your ass!

  32. So are you guys voting for Mitch Romney or Baracko Bama?

    1. Man, if you wrote in either of those, how do you think it would turn out?

      1. Ask Al Franken and Norm Coleman. There would not even be any question as to intent with the two above write-ins. Push come to shove, you’ll find elections officials pressed into service as handwriting analysts, in attempts to wring out that last, winning vote. And after that, the side for whom that vote was cast will still gloat.

  33. More of the new civility from the reality based community.


    1. Well, I guess she just secured a spot in the next Atlas Shrugged movie.

      1. That’s harsh

  34. Question: what do you do when a person you have just arrested for a minor offense mysteriously commits suicide while in the county jail?

    Answer: In Fullerton, CA, you destroy all audio recordings of your interaction and get charged with destruction of property (not evidence for some reason and vandalism and get the oh-so-harsh sentence of 60 hours of community service and three years unsupervised probation.

  35. Killer whales hunt Otter and her pups.


  36. “The end goal is sort of an open-source attack on the traditional companies that manufacture our fundamental machines.”

    That sure sounds good in a press release but its meaningless bullshit in the real world.

    1. Well, especially given that everything he needs to, say, make an open source CNC plasma table, is made by a traditional company. Those lead screws don’t arise from the earth fully formed, and your little hippy commune ain’t making them, are you?

      All exercises in radical self-suffiency are interesting, but ignore the benefits of specialization. We have a civilization wealthy enough to allow these jerk-offs to pretend otherwise because of it.

  37. She can rape me all day long…


    1. It’s worth considering that Billiris might not have been in her right mind. According to her own statements on the message boards at Motohouston.com, Billiris, an avid motorcycle racer, suffered serious injuries in a 2009 car crash, including a severe blow to the head and internal injuries that will require her to be on dialysis for life.

      Sounds like she may be settling for the hottest guy she can find, considering.

      And I bet no one asked the 15 year old guy if he thought he was being raped, because he’s prolly a fn hero to his classmates.

      1. Uh, it was her cousin, guys.

        1. Do you honestly think that matters to the average 15 year old male?

    2. If we admited the obvious that 15 year old boys can consent to sex, we would then have to admit 15 year old girls can do the same. Or in the alternative admit there might be some differences between the sexes. And neight of those are ideologically acceptable. We all know ideology trumps reality.

      And who ratted her out? If that kid got that experience and told on her, he needs his ass kicke. Ungrateful little punk.

      1. If I understand the article correctly, someone walked in on their fun.

        1. That just sucks.

      2. I’m guessing it was a family member who ratted him out. I would have been delighted to get laid like that when I was 15.

        1. Maybe I am some kind of hippie free love type. But if it were my son, I would tell them to knock it off. But I can’t imagine getting the police involved.

          1. Yeah, I’d have words with everybody involved, but call the cops? WTF?

            1. “Y’all are cousins. You shouldn’t be fucking. This ain’t Arkansas. Now get dressed and go watch the football game.”

          2. But if it were my son, I would tell them to knock it off. But I can’t imagine getting the police involved.

            If it were a one time thing, sure.

            It’s possible that her head injury has affected her judgement, and this was the last straw.

            For my last desperate attempt to get my ex to accept help for her problems, I had a conversation with a psychiatrist that I knew would trigger a DCF investigation of my family. I didn’t particularly want DCF involved, but I was out of other options.

            It’s possible a similar dynamic is at play here.

            1. True. You never know. If she really is insane, that might change things. But the fact is that 15 is not 10. Absent some kind of extreme circumstances, there is no reason to call the cops.

              1. It depends.

                Here’s a possible scenario (NB. I’m not saying this did happen, but talking hypotheticals)

                She has a thing for the fifteen year old. She keeps trying to bang him. Family becomes aware and tries to handle it privately. They takes steps to make sure they’re never alone together etc.

                Then, at a gathering, she slips away with him. A family member catches her.

                They call a psychiatrist and describe what’s going on, and he, being a mandated reporter, called the cops.

                This sort of thing happens more often than one would think. And, it’s awful.

                1. It is. My other thought is that if you don’t report it as a parent, you are on the hook. The mandatory reporting laws are a nightmare.

                  1. Mandatory reporting laws — bah. Fifth Amendment means you don’t have to fucking talk to agents of the state.

          3. I would wait until my sorta-but-not-quite-ex left the room, then high five my son.

            Getting the police involved — not for this. Not for anything.

          4. Yeah, who the fuck thinks that the cops will make anything better in a situation like this?

    3. Good ol’ Spring. I miss the hot crazy girls. Sometimes.

    4. The top pic with the boob profile: YES, YES, YES!!

      The bottom face pic: Fuck no.

      1. Faces like that is why they invented doggystyle, son.

        1. Her face is still pretty great in the top picture. Mugshots always look shitty, somehow.

        2. Faces like that is why they invented doggystyle, son.

          I thought it was why they still asked “Paper or plastic” at the grocery store.

    5. So I’ve always been curious how this plays out. Who makes the first move and how, knowing the likelihood that the other person would be disgusted at the idea of incest?

      I guess she’s hot enough that it might not be that gigantic of a risk.

      1. Well, if you really want to know, the first thing you do is direct that question to Epi.

        1. I assumed all incest questions were automatically directed to Epi, Warty, or Max.

          1. Kind of like a bat signal?

  38. I didn’t see this in sarcasmic’s Daily Fails.

    Kennedy’s expect free shit too.


    1. If they had to pay for stuff, they would have to start drawing down their tax free $Billions in Fiji.

    2. And I thought Kennedy was a princpled reason blogger.

      I vote foe.

  39. Six law enforcement officers involved in a narcotics training course refused to be interviewed by state investigators examining allegations that at least one officer gave marijuana to an Occupy protester to see how he would behave.

    Records of the now-closed investigation, obtained by the Star Tribune under the Minnesota Data Practices Act, reveal another factor in Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman’s decision in September not to prosecute officers involved in the State Patrol’s Drug Recognition Evaluation program, which trains officers to recognize the symptoms of drug impairment.

    The program was suspended after allegations four months ago that some officers provided marijuana to people they found in Minneapolis, including Occupy protesters on Peavey Plaza


    The comments are amazing.

    1. Six law enforcement officers involved in a narcotics training course refused to be interviewed by state investigators examining allegations that at least one officer gave marijuana to an Occupy protester to see how he would behave.

      The average occupy protestor does have the intelligence of a lab rat. So there is that.

      1. I’ve got a pet rat that would be quite offended by that comparison.
        She’s tons more intelligent than the average occutard.
        For example she knows to shit in her litter box which is more than the average occutard, and she doesn’t bite the hand that feeds her.

    2. Double standard. I mean, the CIA doses people with shit and no one bats an eye.

  40. A Utah man could face the death penalty for killing one officer and injuring five others in a botched drug raid.

    It would be awesome if this guy got off because enough liberals or libertarians in fn UTAH got on a jury and hung it, calling these shootings self-defense.

    Course, Provo is a tough nut to crack to find such people.

  41. I couldn’t resist needling the earnest young man who was handing out sample Democratic ballots at my polling place. His face lit up when I told him I hadn’t voted for Gov. Romney. I then thanked him and his
    fellow young folks for being willing to shoulder the huge debt payments to China for me and fellow entitled boomers. “Hummahumma humma” the startled young man said, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.
    I then reminded him how when I was young back in 1964, most young folks enthusiastically backed LBJ and how it was necessary only a few years later to regret the decision and start worrying about getting our heads blown off in Vietnam. I just wonder at what point this young generation will come to their senses?

    1. Never. Remember that kid was probably taught in school that Vietnam was Nixon’s war.

    2. wait…you mean history can repeat itself?

      1. Not if we ignore it….

  42. While Alyona may have been nothing but cute, the new persona is a tall, nose-ringed dom. Thank you, RT.

    Riggs, get on RT stat!


      1. what i found online did not do her justice. she has cut her hair short and wears RT-standard issue super tight dresses.

        1. The name, Raston! Give us the name!


          1. some may think i’m referring to Lauren Lyster of Capital Accounts but nope. now we have Abby Martin. where Alyona was warm and cuddly, Abby is astringent. but that works for me.

            1. The pictures don’t do her justice? I’m impressed.

            2. I see. Well, she’s no Penn State cheerleader, but she’ll do.

  43. I just wonder at what point this young generation will come to their senses?

    Something tells me never.

    Government schools, FTW!

    1. I was pissed to find out the my 6 year old’s teacher was dishing out the propaganda in class this week. Apparently, Obama has “created lots of jobs!”

      I really wanted to wait before we discussed politics in depth. But that’s apparently not an option with these fuckers.

      1. Apparently my 4th grader participated in some kids elect thing yesterday and her teacher told her she was specifically not allowed to vote for Gary Johnson even though his name appeared on the ballot

        1. not sure what’s more impressive – that your young child is thinking third party, or that the teacher was that honest about the general farcical nature of the right to vote

    2. I just wonder at what point this young generation will come to their senses?

      I suspect the fiscal and economic collapse of the US, unmitigated by a government that is utterly bloated and without competence or priorities, may bring some to their senses.

  44. So apparently a Penn State cheerleader http://i.imgur.com/XyEOS.jpg thought it was a good idea to post nude photos online: http://imgur.com/a/0JDs8


    1. And she was right

      1. I think John and sevo can reach across the aisle on this one.

        1. Oops, not “sevo”, sarcasmic.

          1. She may be hot now, but in ten years she’ll look like a turnip.

            1. Why do you say that? She is gorgous and very thin. Unless she is hooked on meth, she will look better in ten years.

              1. She looks like a balloon that’s waiting for air.

                1. You really don’t like the female form do you? That girl is a size four, probably has a body fat under 10% and is in great shape. You think she is a balloon? Get help.

                  1. More like 15-18%, which is perfect for women. 10% is female bodybuilder territory.

                    1. Probably true Warty. But a woman who can get her body fat under 20% is usually in great physical condition.

                  2. What part of “waiting for air” or “in ten years” do you not understand?

                    You seriously need some help with your reading comprehension.

                    She’s thin and in great shape right now, but once youth wears off she’s going to replacing all her clothes every year or two.

                    1. She’s thin and in great shape right now, but once youth wears off she’s going to replacing all her clothes every year or two.

                      What about her makes you think that? That she has boobs? That she actually has hips? Why do you hate T&A?

                    2. What about her makes you think that?

                      The shape of her face. Youth and exercise can only keep her inner fatty at bay for so long.

                    3. You think all women are fat. She will be gorgous in ten years.

                    4. You think all women are fat.

                      Jesus. How many posts did I just say that she’s hot and thin?

                      She will be gorgous in ten years.

                      She’ll be fat in ten years, though I’m sure you’ll still find her size 14 ass to be delectable.

                    5. She will be a size 8 at most. And you will think she is fat. Why? Because you hate curves and the female form in general. NTTAWWT. But it is just how you roll. Only women who don’t look like women.

                    6. Whatever John. It’s not my fault your mom didn’t breast feed you.

                2. Sarcasmic, please tell me you’re kidding? There is nothing wrong with her body. Is it a requirement that a woman be a size 0 and weigh less than 100 pounds before you’ll jump in bed with them?

              2. She’s too skinny right now for my taste, but she will look better as she ages and gets a bit curvier.

                I mean, I’d totally do her now. Don’t get me wrong.

                1. OK, this is for John and Sarcasmic: why do you care what a naked 20 year old is gonna look like in 10 years anyway? Are you gonna look her up and see what she’s up to or are you gonna be jacking it to the next crop of 20 year old’s? Well I, for one, will not think of a woman’s future looks unless I plan on asking her to marry me. I choose to live in the now.

                  1. why do you care what a naked 20 year old is gonna look like in 10 years anyway?

                    I don’t. I just like fucking with John.

                    1. And I just like fucking with sarcasmic.

                    2. And I just like fucking with sarcasmic.

                      No you don’t. You like fucking fatties. Roll ’em in flour and look for the wet spot.

                  2. I don’t sloopy. I think she is a gorgous young woman and will probably be gorgous the rest of her life. If I were single and she were a decent person, I would marry her in a heartbeat and be happy to have her. I am as puzzled as to why and how Sarcasmic or anyone really can look at those pics and go “she is going to be fat in 10 years”.

        2. We all love bipartisanship in women.

      2. Indeed she was right. That made my day.

    2. That wasn’t a good idea. That was a GREAT idea!

      1. Exactly. She did humanity a service – a reminder of beauty in the world.

    3. God fucking damn.

      1. Those tits are a force of nature. And that ass, that ass. God fucking damn is right.

        1. In another time, dozens of men would have killed each other in duels over her. God fucking damn.

          1. If only we lived in a more civilized era.

        2. Her ass is too skinny and whitegirl. A bit more booty would be perfect.

          1. Good for you. Convincing yourself that sloppy cellulite butts are where its at and white girls are inferior, though at the cost of denying reality, will probably save you a lot of money in the long run.

            1. We can have differing tastes in women without either of us being wrong. Value is subjective.

              You like what you like.

            2. A girl can have a big butt without it being a “sloppy cellulite butt.” Though I think this girl has a very nice one. Definitely not flat.

              And Latinas are where it’s it at for the record 😉

              1. scratch the “it” from the last sentence. Damn squirrels

          2. I’m a butt guy and I think she’s got a nice behind. Could be bigger but I’m not complaining

    4. Now why do ya gotta go and post this stuff when I’m at work and in a building where I get 0 cell reception?

    5. Man, kids today. When I was at Penn State, this couldn’t have happened as easily as it does today. You had to go find a scanner to scan in a picture and then find an appropriate (or inappropriate) Usenet news group to post it on.

      It was a sad time that I hope no one has to relive.

    6. That’s the best idea I’ve seen all year.

    7. Thanks for the NSFW tag. Luckily I have a smartphone.

      There was a serious difference in her attractiveness between the first SFW link and the rest. I’m sure some of it is not wearing clothes, but I thought her face and hair were way better too. Wonder why that is.

      1. Yeah, I didn’t think it was the same person.

      2. She has a face?

      1. Could be North Halls. Definitely not East or Pollack. It looks a little too rough to be the mansions they built on the former graduate housing at Eastview Terrace.

        1. I think it’s Centre. I lived in East, Pollack, and Atherton. It’s nice to see they still use the same standard issue PSU dorm chairs they had 20 years ago.

          1. I guess it could be North but I was never there very much so I don’t remember what they looked like. Centre was maybe a bit older than what’s in those pics.

            1. Damn squirrels ate my reply.

              I lean towards North because not only does it look like what I remember of the North Halls, but there are lots of art students there. Posting nudes is something I’d expect an art student to be willing to do. I’ll continue to ignore the fact that lots of gay and lesbian students flock to North, as I ignored it when I was at Penn State.

              West are also the same vintage, but what I remember of West Halls are the rooms are roomier than when I see there.

              I was only in Simmons or McElwain to use the dining hall and oggle the women, so I don’t know what the rooms look like there.

          2. Just think, maybe you sat on that chair.

            1. Are you to trying to gross her out?

          3. Fuck, the squirrels ate another reply. I shouldn’t have to log in again to reply to a post after posting.

            Buying new dorm chairs would mean less money for the gold bricking union employees.

            My first year I lived in Pollock and worked for Housing in Pollock. I took out the trash, swept stair wells, cleaned up leaves, and shovelled snow.

            My buddy and I would, on an average day, finish taking out the trash in about half the time it would take the same number of union guys working the same dorms. Only on heavy trash days (home football weekends) would my buddy and I approach the amount of the time the union guys needed. We never, ever took as much time as the union guys. Needless to say, the union guys didn’t like us.

            Second year I continued to live in Pollock and work for Housing, but I worked in a different area. I worked in the graduate housing. Different messes, but at least we had porno mags to peruse in the break room.

    8. She needs a spread in Playboy or to do a porno like yesterday. That body needs to be shared with the world.

    9. Those links better still be working when I get out from under the firewall.

    10. I fap fap fap think fap fap fap that fap fap fap she’s fap fap fap hot.

  45. Rand Paul on Glenn Beck right now trying to tell libertarians to vote for the Big Government Republican.

    1. You try to follow a perfect naked cheerleader with some boring election shit? Get the fuck out of here.

      1. I looked, I liked, time to move on. What do you want me to do, build a fucking shrine?

        1. If you’re going to talk about election shit, it’s not too much to ask that you add in a link to a perfect naked cheerleader. That’s all I’m saying.

          1. A platform we can all support.

            WARTY 2012

          2. Not naked, but a cheerleader nonetheless.

            Let’s play “One of these things is not like the other”.

            1. I’m callin’ ‘Shopped on that one.

            2. Michelle Obama joined the squad?

          3. Warty, this is why I didn’t vote for you as moderator – you never think of the ladies*. Where’s our Jon Hamm pics?

            * Well, not the way I mean

            1. Find them yourself, you pervette.

              1. Yumm-o!

            2. Why don’t lumberjacks post nude pics online? A Google search turned up plenty of fully-clothed lumberjacks and a couple of scantily-clad females posing with axes or cavorting in the woods.

              So here’s Jon Hamm

              1. he wants me, right?

          4. If you’re going to talk about election shit, it’s not too much to ask that you add in a link to a perfect naked cheerleader.

            Here ya go — someone not all skinny and bootyless like the link above:


          5. Warty — since you apparently don’t know how to google — some cheerleaders for you:


            1. Maybe it’s because I have SafeSearch off (that’s how I roll, yo), but there’s an awful lot of dongs popping up in that search. Are you tying to tell us something?*


              1. It pisses me off whenever I dump my cookies that I’m reminded of safe searche’s very existence. I should also have the option of it not being implemented in my browser at all as a default build.

                1. You should demand your money back from Google for giving you the choice whether to view smut or not. Damn them, damn them to heck for being so reasonable! =)

                  1. Every now and then I’ll search for a while and get annoyed at not finding anything objectionable, and then I realize the problem, the search had been in safe mode the entire time. That really puffs my chaff.

              2. The only dongs I see are being stuffed inside various orifices of hot Asian “cheerleaders”. Not sure how that is gay.

                I’m bi, if that means anything to you, BTW.

                1. I’m bi, if that means anything to you, BTW.

                  Then I guess you were. 😉

                  And my search pulled up a couple of trannies. Hot trannies, but trannies nonetheless. And they make me nervous.

                  1. Not sure how googling “hot asian cheerleader nude” with safeSearch off is gay.

                    If you don’t want to see women getting fucked, switch to SafeSearch on moderate.

                    Why do trannies make you nervous? Are you afraid you’ll succumb to the terrible temptation, and wind up with a cock stuffed in some orifice?

                    1. Why do trannies make you nervous? Are you afraid you’ll succumb to the terrible temptation, and wind up with a cock stuffed in some orifice?

                      Well, duh. Of course that’s what I’m afraid of. Isn’t every man just a little nervous when they meet a hot Asian chick willing to do nastiness with them? In my estimation, based on what I know from the internet, it’s always a crap-shoot.

                    2. I need to work on my material. I think I’m coming across as serious when that’s not my intention at all.

        2. That sticky shrine? You didn’t build that.

          1. Euw…..it has Santorum all over it!

            /teenage girl

    2. I hope he only sold a piece of his soul, so he can regrow what’s left.

      1. He also said “The Libertarian Party never got more than 1% of the vote”

        Au contraire, Paul fils.

        1. Just once, so far, but I think again today.

  46. QED, motherfuckers!

    If President Obama is re-elected, health care coverage will expand dramatically, taxes on the wealthy will go up and Wall Street will face tougher regulation. If Mitt Romney wins instead, health coverage will shrink substantially, taxes on the wealthy will fall to levels not seen in 80 years and financial regulation will be rolled back.

    Republicans are bad, Children; mmmmkay?

    1. I didn’t know we were electing a dictator. I always thought Congress had a say in such things. Silly me.

    2. Would that the Republicans actually do the things the Democrats accuse them of.

    3. some Churchill: “The choice is between two ways of life: between individual liberty and State domination; between concentration of ownership in the hands of the State and the extension of ownership over the widest number of individuals; between the dead hand of monopoly and the stimulus of competition; between a policy of increasing restraint and a policy of liberating energy and ingenuity; between a policy of leveling down and a policy of opportunity for all to rise upwards from a basic standard.”

  47. More Krugabe:

    But would Mr. Obama be able to negotiate a Grand Bargain on the budget? Probably not ? but so what? America isn’t facing any kind of short-run fiscal crisis, except in the fevered imagination of a few Beltway insiders.

    “We’re not broke! There are still checks in the checkbook!”

    1. God he is an awful man.

  48. So, I learned something last night: The New York Times comments section is worse than Jezebel. I was reading two pieces, one on the need to build barriers in New York that contained gems like this:

    We love to bash the people who build right on the Mississippi river and cry for help when they are flooded out. But when you build a few feet away from the ocean you are making the same mistake. This is a tiny bit of climate change and a whole lot of stupidity.

    Any land within a few hundred meters of the ocean should be public park land for everyone to enjoy. I would use eminent domain and offer market value for the properties with the caveat that say…. In 50 years the government will simply tear down anything left and will offer nothing. You can get paid now or keep it for 50 years. As land is cleared it becomes a park for all and goes back closer to it’s natural protective state. Once the program starts it will be hard to stop as each neighborhood sees a beautiful jones Beach like park coming closer.

    Manhattan will just have to protect it’s local infrastructure better.


    1. And their endorsement of Obama that had stuff like this:

      There is a large segment of the population that by voting the GOP ticket, strangely and consistently votes against their own economic as well as social interests. In the past 100 years, this country has done much better both economically and in terms of social justice, under Democrats. It seems that nearly all Democratic Presidents have to spend considerably financial and political capital undoing the damage done by the prior GOP President.
      This time around, we have a sophisticated crook who has hidden his income and tax shenanigans and can shape-shift faster than one can read about it!
      One may as well hand over the reins of this country to the financial crooks and religous taliban by voting for candidate Romney.
      On the other hand, with what President Obama inherited and despite the intrasigence of the GOP, he has done a very creditable job in halting and reversing the economic slide, and bringing back a degree of financial and social justice. The choise is obvious!

      And I realized something: The New York Times comments are worse than Jezebel comments, and I for one simply can not stand them. I can endure Jezebel, but not the New York Times. God help us all.

      1. The NYT and the WAPO comments are just so angry and awful. They mostly make shreek seem calm and thoughtful. Why are liberals always so pissed off? They are constanly angry and bitter even when they win and get to be in charge.

      2. Maybe it’s because the last time I was at Jones beach was the 80’s, but….seriously?

        beautiful jones Beach like park coming closer

  49. I got ID’d in order to vote! Call the ACLU! Call Gloria Allred!

    Oh wait… I’m a citizen and didn’t vote for Democrats, so they don’t give a shit about me.

    1. That is just oppression man. Opression.

      1. I hear they forced him to vote against the Dems by threat of candy.

    2. but you are a minority and were intimidated into not voting, right?

      1. I’m not an idiot, therefore i am a very oppressed minority in America.

    3. Were you at least drunk?

      1. No, but I did eat the most racist breakfast possible: grits.

        1. You monster.

        2. With ham? Please tell me it’s so!

        3. No, but I did eat the most racist breakfast possible: grits.

          Ha! I ate a whole bowl of Brazil nuts for breakfast.

    4. Did you see a police car on the way to the polls? If so, how did you overcome your paralyzing fear to vote?

      1. We did go have to gas up the BMW, which is exactly like a poll tax.

        1. If the poll workers don’t come to your house and allow you to vote from the comfort of your own bed, you have been disenfranchised!!

  50. Weren’t the first votes cast like, weeks ago, with all the early voting and absentee ballots? And when did early voting start a month before the election. It’s like Christmas decorations at Target!

  51. Did you guys know that Women’s Studies is needed now more than ever?!

    In the past four years, I’ve developed a favorite pastime: taking advantage of all services covered by my tuition. To my delight, I discovered that my university offers free sexuality counseling. So after spending an hour with the local version of Dr. Sue, I was invited by my new sex therapist to join a three-week class called “I Heart My Vagina.” I signed up enthusiastically, imagining the types of yoni workshops I’d read about in books like Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book.

    On Being Woman
    Dr. Sue: Let’s name one or two things we love about being women. We’ll go around the circle.
    Gender Essentialist: Being emotional and loving.
    Loud Religious Moralist: Using my body to bring life into the world and producing food with my own breasts.
    Me (I am trying to avoid social constructs and stick to the body, but I end up looking like a pervert): I love having a clitoris, a body part designed exclusively for pleasure.
    SILLIEST GIRL IN VAGINA CLASS: I like that you can wear jeans and skirts and not be gay.

    The examples get worse from there.

    1. Why do you subject yourself to such nonsense?

    2. Remember when it was sexism to define women as a collection of desirable parts?

    3. Yes, because all of my statist friends who work for FSU are crying about the idea that art history degrees may be subsidized less than engineering degrees if Skeletor gets his way. Someone tried to argue that a university system that subsidizes 50% of the cost of educating a student would be “going against the free market” by doing so. So I pointed out the fact that there wasn’t a free market to go against. I have a feeling I have fewer FB friends today.

    4. Said it before and I’ll say it again–if the politicians from 1915 could see what modern feminism has wrought, the 19th Amendment never would have passed.

  52. There is a large segment of the population that by voting the GOP ticket, strangely and consistently votes against their own economic as well as social interests.

    This argument only makes sense to people who have no understanding of how wealth is created.

    Like, you know, the President.

  53. This is the most important election of all time and all you people can talk about is some naked cheerleader from Penn State.

    I want to thank you all for restoring my faith in humanity.

    1. Don’t make us sound like buffoons. We’re not all on that single track. Some of us are talking about LTC(ret) John’s penis as well

    2. Hey, we also talked about some incestuous 23 year old girl!

    3. She can’t be the only one who posted. research this, people!

    4. I take it you haven’t seen the pictures yet?

  54. They are constanly angry and bitter even when they win and get to be in charge.

    They’re AFRAID. Afraid of everything.

    1. When they win and get to be in charge, they are face-to-face with the utter bankruptcy of their beliefs. So it just makes them even angrier.

  55. Apparently, voting in Romney will set our clocks back 60 years?

    So… the Cuban Missile crises? I think that would give Castro a heart attack, and Putin just doesn’t seem that into that.*

    *And yes, I could have gone with Iran here, but given that they neither have nukes nor the backing of a nuclear power, the situation is not comparable. Plus, that would be giving too much credit to the maker of this meme.

    1. What is funny is that the cartoon doesn’t mention which candidate will do that. Considering that Obama doesn’t have a single idea that isn’t at least 70 years old, I don’t think that cartoon says what they think it means.

      And why the hell can’t science magazines stay out of politics?

    2. Russian submarunes will be trolling right off our coast! Their strategic bomber force will be reactivated and fly near our airspace! Obama would never allow this!

      1. If there is one thing a former KGB Agent and international arch villain like Putin knows when he see it, is a chump. I am sure he sized up Obama in about five seconds.

  56. Epic Facebook unsubscribing today, and mostly non-Americans. I thought at least I’d get through this election with my foreigner friends still on my Facebook feed. Alas and alack, tis not to be.

    1. You really have to be an asshole to do that. It seems to be only liberals who do it. I have never heard of a conservative or a libertarian doing such a thing. I am sure some of them must. But I have never seen it. But it seems liberals do it quite frequently. What is wrong with them? How did politics become an excuse to be an asshole?

      1. I do have one dickhole conservative friend, but since he’s in a sea of liberal douchebaggery, I haven’t found the will to unsubscribe from him yet.

        1. But did he unfriend you? That is my point, why defriend anyone on either side over politics?

          1. Nobody unfriended anyone. Unsubscribing means I don’t see their partisan status updates in my feed. They’re still friends and they will be reinstated to my feed when the salty ham tears or furor dies down, probably sometime in February.

      2. I don’t know, my brother is so conservative half his local Tea Party group hates him.

        And I’m not joking, he really is.

    2. What are you saying to piss them all off?

      1. They’re not pissed, they’re just posting shit like “This one is for my American friends…” followed by those ridiculous “I am the 99%” posters or a list of “reasons” to vote for Obama. Fuckin-a.

        1. I am so glad I never look at Facebook (on my fake account). I don’t think I would have any friends at all at this point if I had looked at it during the last 6 months or so.

  57. A Utah man could face the death penalty for killing one officer and injuring five others in a botched drug raid

    This sucks for this man that he might have to face the death penalty. That sucks. And over weed. But it sure made my day that a pig got slaughtered in the stupid drug war. He was probably going to end up doing a lot of time anyway. At least he took out a pig.

  58. Hail to the Chief!

    I know I’ll get more satisfaction from gaming than voting, but I’m still going to go and cast my vote for Johnson, unless the lines are insanely long.

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