Election 2012

"Million Puppet March" on DC Misses Historic Head Count by Just 999,500!

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Last week, we warned of the impending "Million Puppet March," a pro-public-broadcasting and anti-Mitt Romney demonstration whose goal "is to preserve the inalienable right of Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Ira Glass, and other folks to receive federal subsidies that are simultaneously so small as to be meaningless and so vast as to be irreplaceable." Click here to see the saddest pumpkin in the whole wide world.

The protest happened yesterday and drew "hundred" of folks, many clad in Sesame Street-themed garb. The semi-inspired chant, "El-Mo, We Won't Go!" rang through the air. "We're just making it clear that public media matters and it's something that we want to see supported and we still want to see federal funding of," said one of the organizers.

Of course, all media is "public media," in that it wants to be consumed by an audience larger than the people who create it. But never mind. Here's some pics from Buzz Feed to goggle at like a muppet.

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131 responses to “"Million Puppet March" on DC Misses Historic Head Count by Just 999,500!

  1. OK, so sue me. I like the chant… ELMO!

    1. The process servers are on the way.

      1. (Time to pull out the harsh language in a secret attempt at intimidating everyone…)
        Dern you all to Heck!

  2. I see Nick has been taking the hints about alt-text. Good job!

  3. I always felt that the Muppets have needed a hand to tell their story. Think about it.

    1. I saw what you did there, and then you stepped all over it … NEVER explain a joke!

        1. O-ho! The felt joke. Nicely done, Fist.

          1. And if that wasn’t intentional, you’ve got a trifecta of a joke going, which might just be too much for some of the Romney supporters on here.

        2. The felt joke. Nicely done…

          Agreed … yea, missed it.

          Never mind, I bow to the master!

    2. The Muppets can’t speak for themselves. If we don’t speak for the Muppets, who will?!

  4. Wait, wait, wait…I was always told that we needed public funding of Children’s Television Workshop for all the ghetto kids who wouldn’t learn how to read or be numerate without it. I only see a mob of upper-middle class White people at that march. There was a total of three fairly affluent-looking Black people there. I call shenanigans.

    1. We could just drop a bunch of tablets into the ghetto.

      1. More effective, but also more expensive. Maybe we can get Bill Gates to donates some Windows tablets.

      2. Absolutely not. They will just use them to play games and for social networking. We give those people these tools to look at job boards and for education. How dare they abuse these gifts?

      3. I don’t remember who posted the recommendation for Neal Stephenson, but I just finished Snow Crash and The Diamond Age and enjoyed them both immensely.

        1. Did you see the recent 24/7 post about the Diamond Age-style learning in Ethiopia?

          https://reason.com/24-7/2012/11…..-pcs-start

        2. I just read Quicksilver so there’s another series that I recommend.

          1. I liked all of those, but after Quicksilver they do begin to drag. It took me 2 1/2 tries to finish the first book of the baroque cycle, and I may be done.

      4. robc| 11.4.12 @ 11:26AM |#

        We could just drop a bunch of tablets into the ghetto.

        The CIA already tried that

    2. Actually those are just the pbs/npr employees from the dc area. They were ordered by their God-Emperor Kermit to turnout or die.

      1. God-Emperor Kermit would be a great band name. Or Reason commenting handle.

  5. PUPPETS

    I get it.

  6. Is there any possibility the vast tsunami of stupid which currently has engulfed the nation will subside on Wednesday?

    Absent total fucking blizzard conditions, I will go to the range on Tuesday and burn up a box of .45 acp as my contribution to the political discourse.

    1. Is there any possibility the vast tsunami of stupid which currently has engulfed the nation will subside on Wednesday?

      Nope, it will deposit as sediment on the national culture, ossifying like large basin of sandstone.

      1. You mean it hasn’t already?

        1. The sea always brings in new sediment. And subduction leads to orogeny.

          1. Geology…number one source of nerdy pick up lines.

    2. Absent total fucking blizzard conditions, I will go to the range on Tuesday and burn up a box of .45 acp as my contribution to the political discourse.

      My daughter and I decided to fry off about 1500 rounds of .22lr yesterday in honor of the “vote early” push this cycle.

  7. Ever since Jesse “Hymietown” Jackson and Louis (racist remarks too voluminous to count due to character limit) Farrakhan came up 60% shy of their “Million Man” claim, I believe the “Million _________ March” label should have been retired. Unless we want to hold a “Million Malcontent March,” which is nothing more than a new name for the M-F rush hour into Washington, DC.

    1. It seems like any “million” themed march is doomed to have an ironic outcome.

    2. I first read that as “MotherF@#$@#$” rush hour. Although incorrect, I’m just guessing that I’m also not wrong.

    3. It truly is a scandal. Call It Million _____ Marchgate.

  8. I bow to the master!

    Keep your back to the wall.

    1. Confucius say, man who bow to master have sore asshole after lesson.

  9. Politics is serious business folks. Never forget how crucial this election is.

    1. Big Bird, Binders, and Bayonets: The Democratic Guide to a Serious Campaign.

  10. Never forget how crucial this election is.

    MOST CRUCIALEST EVAAAAAAR!

    WE STAND AT THE EDGE OF THE ABYSS, PEOPLE.

    1. That’s why I voted for Johnson.

  11. So what percentage of the audience was there just cause they like to wear costumes, and/or throught it was a parody protest march put on the the Cacophany Society.

    1. Anyone care to put an over/under on the actual percent who contribute to PBS?

  12. How many people participated to get extra credit in their Neopostmodernist Theory of Puppetry courses?

    1. Extra credit? This is their dissertation.

      1. Garframitz, real doctor.

    2. Extra credit? This was an *assignment*, you fool!

    3. Extra credit? Um, I got nothing. I just thought it was a new meme.

      1. This is what happens when you audit classes.

  13. I’d like to see a hybrid Million Muppet March/Slut Walk. That way we can save one of our nukes in space.

    1. I’d like to see a hybrid Million Muppet March/Slut Walk.

      A quick preview of said march.

      1. Big Bird has to be one of the silliest women’s Halloween costumes.

        1. OK, I’m back to “ELMO!”

        2. “Hey buddy, my eyes are down here!”

          1. Now I’m just going to have to hack the site to make it look like I said that first.

  14. Those folks look a bit old to be playing with puppets; are they sure that’s the message they want to send?

    1. These people are also a little old to diddle children, but that won’t stop their go-getter spirit!

  15. OMG, these people live in Sesame Street reality. No wonder their economics is all make believe.

  16. That Big Bird carrying Romney in a trashcan costume is pretty clever.

  17. It’s hard to said it, but maybe ending Sesame Street is a blessing in disguise. With the over-focus on Elmo and some characters retired like Don Music, the show is now a shadow of itself.

    Even the parody skits of Mad-TV are more fun then the recent episode.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHsrUZVmAds
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmM2vDNjm04

    1. It stopped resonating when cookie monster turned into a transexual GMO activist.

  18. CNN is on the case.

    “PBS is important to me because I grew up on it,” he said. “It’s a foundation for our children today.”

    One protester held a placard that read, “Hundreds of channels to influence consumers! Zero channels to invest in citizens?” Others were dressed like Cookie Monster and the Count, both popular “Sesame Street” characters.

    I grew up on the Big Bad Wolf.

    “I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll bloooooooow your subsidies down!”

    1. Because no one consumes Sesame Street toys and paraphernalia, right? Those Halloween costumes people have been linking to are free and it’s considered a public service to wear them. It promotes literacy and numeracy, you see.

    2. “One protester held a placard that read, “Hundreds of channels to influence consumers! Zero channels to invest in citizens?” ”
      WIH does that even mean? “Consumers” aren’t citizens?
      What’d the dipshit do, pull random words out of the lefty hat and stick ’em together?

      1. It has been scientifically established that manatees push “phrase” balls across their aquarium to aggregate leftist talking points. It’s settled science? flat earthier.

    3. A lot of things that I “grew up on” are no more. It is the way of things. The notion that the world will end if PBS goes away is just pathetic and clingy. Let it go.

  19. Just filled out my ballot. Gary Motherfuckin’ Johnson. Reckanize.

    1. Good.

  20. Seeing the Left in total meltdown makes me want to vote Romney. I won’t, but I still want to.

    1. Not sure why they’re melting down.

      Obama leads in early voting.

      Maybe they’re melting down the way they melted down before the Supreme Court’s Obamacare ruling. “ZOMG, We’re gonna lose! What? Oh shit! We won!”

      1. You keep posting that link without reading the content. The early votes haven’t been counted yet, and won’t be until Tuesday.

        What is known is that in a few swing states, more Democrats are early-voting than Republicans. That only means BO is winning if you assume all Ds and Rs vote party line and independents split 50-50. Plus of course it’s irrelevant because the more Obama voters who vote early, the fewer who vote on Nov 6.

        1. “Plus of course it’s irrelevant because the more Obama voters who vote early, the fewer who vote on Nov 6.”

          Well,….theoretically.

          “Vote early, and often”

        2. That only means BO is winning if you assume all Ds and Rs vote party line

          Which I do.

    2. They aren’t melting down. Some people just have nothing better to do then express faux outrage over anything any Republican says, ever.
      These people generally honestly think that pexressing faux outrage over whatever stupid shit they think that other people might be outraged about will somehow influence people to be against Republicans more. It’s sort of a faux outrage bandwagon effort. Haviong a faux protest is supposed to enocourage people stupider than them to become angry.

      1. They aren’t melting down.

        I’m not sure what you consider “melting down,” but dressing up in Sesame Street costumes to march against Romney is on a level similar to down twinkles.

        1. You’re assuming that’s a “melt down”. It doesn’t seem that different from most “Romney hates this country and will turn it into Somalia” stuff.

    1. I have literally no idea who that is. But I think I get the reference.

  21. Why is the San Diego chicken carrying that man in a trash can?

  22. 500, wow! That’s pretty good when Obama’s only pulling a few thousand. Biden is jealous, and Sandra Fluke is just SEETHING with envy!

    1. If Sandra Fluke seethes in a parking lot, but no one is around to hear it, does she make a sound?

      1. The silent queef of social justice.

    2. If Obama wins he will do it while attracting the smallest crowds ever. I am not sure how much you can read into it. But it seems odd that he has all of these people who are going to vote for him but he can’t draw more than a couple of thousand in any single appearance.

      1. Remember MNG and shrike telling us how BO could fill NFL stadiums?

  23. WE STAND AT THE EDGE OF THE ABYSS, PEOPLE.

    We finally have a chance to escape the abyss?

    1. No, we’ve been staring into it too long.

  24. Matt Drudge is the most brilliant headline writer of our age. Right now at the top of Drudge

    NY DAILY NEWS ENDORSES — ROMNEY?
    MI: R 47% O 46%…
    Axelrod: ‘They’re in deep trouble’…
    Candy Crowley: ‘President Romney’…

  25. It’s such a small fraction of the federal budget, cutting public media funding would have virtually no impact on the federal deficit. But why save PBS?

    1. That infographic is pathetic.

      Less than 1% of Americans have taken an astronomy course.

      THREE MILLION PEOPLE TRAVEL THE WONDERS OF THE UNIVERSE EACH WEEK WITH NOVA ON PBS

      Blow me. 3,000,000 people is less than 1% of the American population.

      1. And Nova is wildly popular. It would be picked up by a cable channel in a heart beat.

      2. But, according to that graphic, PBS is the #1 source of media content for pre-school teachers. Pre-school teachers, damn you! Give them all the money they want!

      3. Less than 1% of Americans have taken an astronomy course.

        I AM THE ONE PERCENT. Where’s my telescopic monocle?

        1. I AM THE ONE PERCENT. Where’s my telescopic monocle?

          I know I shouldn’t be, but I am bewildered by the number of people who don’t have the first clue about basic knowledge and don’t want one. Everything from astronomy or cartography down to cooking a meal or making a fire without a lighter or match, it’s shocking the wonderful things people regularly ignore. Most people don’t even know how to hold a chef’s knife.

    2. If we don’t cut anything that is a small fraction of the budget, we’re never going to have a balanced budget.

      1. so you’re saying there are bigger, better things to cut?

        1. No, I’m saying you have to cut a lot of little things. Most of the budget is little things.

          1. I totally agree with your first sentence, but I’m pretty sure SS, Medicare, and the military combined are over half the budget. I wouldn’t call any of those things little

            1. I don’t consider SS and Medicare part of the budget, they’re self-financing programs.

              1. Those “self-financing” programs form a majority of our long term obligations. The budget is what they government takes from us (or borrows) and spends. SS and Medicare are two of the 3 biggest items. You can’t just exclude them because we have a tax specifically set up for them, even though it fails to finance the programs (and when it did, the government pissed the money away anyways)

              2. they’re self-financing programs.

                Except when receipts stop covering outlays. Thankfully that will never happen…

    3. Re: Brent,

      It’s such a small fraction of the federal budget,

      Why do you kill a mosquito that’s biting your flesh? It only takes a tiny fraction of your blood supply, doesn’t it?

      1. Because it’s vermin. It hurts. It can infect you. If you let it survive it will use your own blood to make more parasites.

        1. I fail to see the parallel here. Sarcasm off.

  26. It’s such a small fraction of the federal budget, cutting public media funding would have virtually no impact on the federal deficit.

    That’s why we need to cut a lot more than just PBS.

    1. You can’t increase your take home pay by scrounging in the couch for loose change.

      1. Depends on how big your couch is.

      2. Going to Starbucks for coffee every day is a fairly small thing, but if you’re trying to get your budget under control it’s a good place to cut.

        A bunch of small cuts make a big cut. And the government needs to start slashing like Jason Voorhees in the middle of a teenage orgy.

  27. Of course the puppets support Obama. He’s one of their kind.

    1. It’s the flopsy mopsy ears.

  28. Obama’s win will mean DOOM
    !

    1. On that Salon pic, Obama looks a bit wigged out.

  29. Oh, how the GOP freakout when Obama wins

    1. I would wish for an article to see how the Democrats freakout when Romney wins, lol.

    2. That’s crude, Brent.

      1. November 7 will be an epic day of Teabagger butthurt.

        1. Not enough christ fag.

          1. Captain, I am detecting high levels of DERP in this sector.

          2. And he didn’t get the joke, either.

            1. He is the joke.

    3. Re: Brent,

      Oh, how the GOP freakout when Obama wins

      No matter who wins, we all lose.

    4. Tomasky must have been raped by a Mormon seeing as how much he hates Romney.

  30. “Million Puppet March” on DC Misses Historic Head Count by Just 999,500!

    The 999,500 that were supposed to come forgot to set up their clocks…

    1. Technically there were supposed to be a million puppets, not a million humans. So assuming each person brought 2000 puppets on average they might have made it.

  31. Puppets? Are you kidding me? Wow.

    http://www.Anon-U.tk

  32. Someday I’m going to guest author a blog post where I really AM kidding you, just to make the anonbots feel better.

    1. When skyne,…Anonbot becomes self-aware, you’ll answer for that statement.

  33. Puppets with puppets. Nice. Who’s hand’s up their arse.

  34. Is it terrible that I laughed my bum off at this? The Million Puppet March, huh? Do 1 million puppets even exist in the U.S.?

    You know there’s a small group of them sitting in somebody’s den planning their next “march” telling themselves how great they did and, boy, did they sure raise awareness!

  35. “no, you’re a puppet!”

  36. I can imagine some staff members at PBS or Sesame Street fans reacting by saying “Say it ain’t so” when they heard an audio from David Axelroad from 1995 who suggested….cuts to PBS.
    http://pjmedia.com/blog/exclus…..lrod-1995/

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