Gary Johnson

Gary Johnson Would Liberalize Immigration and Drug Laws; But Not Eliminate FEMA


BOULDER – With less than eight days to go in the 2012 campaign, Libertarian Party nominee Gary Johnson made his final swing through the libertarian-leaning Mountain West with stops at college campuses in Idaho and Colorado. At his final rally of the day at the University of Colorado in Boulder, Johnson tied together the drug war and immigration policy, two highly charged issues here, before a crowd composed mostly of college students.

"So much of the attitude on the border has to do with border violence and border violence is a prohibition phenomenon. Ninety percent of the drug problem is prohibition-related not use-related, that's not to discount the problems with use and abuse, but that should be the focus. We have 40,000 deaths south of the border over the last four years and these are disputes that are being played out with guns rather with the courts. Didn't we learn anything when it came to the prohibition of alcohol?"

Earlier this year Johnson endorsed the Colorado ballot question that would legalize marijuana, Amendment 64. "Colorado has the opportunity to change worldwide drug policy by voting yes for (Amendment) 64," Johnson said.

"I go around the country telling people, 'Coloradans get it,'" he said.

Recent polls show the initiative has a chance of passing.

"How's this going to work when it comes to the other states? Colorado being the first domino that falls, Colorado being the first domino that 49 other states follow and bring about rational drug policy? When everybody goes on an airplane to go to Denver for the weekend to chill out, that's how it's going to work," he said.

Johnson also spoke about immigration while in Denver, a topic he's seldom addressed on the trail.

"Building a fence across the border would be an incredible waste of time and money. We should make it as easy as possible for somebody that wants to come into this country and work to get a work visa. Not a green card, not citizenship, but a work visa. I maintain that immigrants would stand in line if the line was moving to get a work visa," Johnson said, prompting rousing applause from the over 500 people in attendance.

Johnson, a former two-term governor of a border state, has not made immigration policy a major part of his campaign and has instead focused on foreign policy, ending the drug war, and fiscal issues.

"The reason we have 11 million illegal immigrants in this country is you can't get a work visa and come into this country and work and yet everyone who wants to come in this country and work recognizes that if they can get across the border, even illegal, there will be a job there waiting for them and that's the reason we have 11 million illegal immigrants in this country right now," Johnson said. "We don't want to be breaking up families."

Johnson did not touch on Hurricane Sandy during his speech, but it did impact his day as he was late for his event in Boise that afternoon. In a scrum with reporters after the event Johnson said that he thinks the Federal Emergency Management Agency is an appropriate function for the federal government.

"I do see a role. The whole notion that we do have difficulties. I just want to do all of this in the context of not spending more money than we're taking in," he said.

"I think (disaster relief) may come under the basic notion of the government protecting us.  There are these natural catastrophies that without the federal government, states aren't as well equipped," Johnson said, pointing to government assistance New Mexico received in response to the Cerro Grande Fire in 2000. Johnson did note, however, that the National Park Service started that same fire as a controlled burn.

"It was federally caused, it was federally lit," he said. 

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  1. Johnson was never an ideal candidate — not even close, in fact. But I’d take him over Mitt Obama and Barack Romney any day of year.

    1. yeah, but now i have to rethink about whether to write in Ron Paul like i did 4 years ago.

    2. But he’s for FEMA DEATH CAMPS! Next thing you know he’ll be sacrificing babies at Bohemian Grove!

    3. “Didn’t we learn anything when it came to the prohibition of alcohol?”

      No we didn’t, because we’re f’kn retarded.

    1. This is just the beginning of the Terran Empire!

      (grows goatee)

      1. Johnson has a Tantalus field!

        1. If he wins, I may believe you.

        2. If he also has Barbara Luna, he wins.

          1. ProL’s been a captain’s woman, and he liked it. He’ll be one again if he has to go through every officer in the fleet.

            1. ProL is the Captain’s woman until the Captain says he’s not.

            2. Here’s a question: What happened to Mirror universe Chekov?

              1. What do you mean? They hooked his mirror nuts up to a space battery.

                1. Yeah, but non-Mirror Kirk didn’t have him executed. When he left, did now-nice Mirror Spock free him? Or maybe he didn’t get that nice?

                  1. They forgot about him and just left him in the Agony Booth until it started to smell.

        1. Well, I consider there to be few things more boring than playing Starcraft.

          1. I played through Starcraft back in the day, but now I’m way too old for RTS games now. My wrinkled, arthritic hands complain when I have to scroll the map in Civ 5, nowadays.

            1. Aren’t you about 40, or something? Old? Give me a break! Rich, filthy libertarians, according to MSNBC, live to be 5,000 years old, because they horde all the food and medicine in their child slave-manned superfortresses.

              1. I hoard food.

                If you’re hording food, you are doing it wrong!

                Of course, if you are planning on raising a horde in the future, and are hoarding food in order to feed them, that’s a different matter.

                1. It’s a “Golden” horde, thank you very much.

                2. Yeah, yeah, make fun of the little guy’s typo, monocle-bearer.

                  1. You aren’t a true blue commenter if your typos aren’t turned into either short term or long term memes, RPA. -)

                    1. Don’t tell me what I am or am not. Who do you think you are? I’m UNIQUE and SPECIAL. I won’t CONFORM to your STANDARDS.

                      *Dons furry hat, star-shaped sunglasses, and really tight jeans*.


                    2. *Dons furry hat, star-shaped sunglasses, and really tight jeans*.


          2. Your bad taste in video games is noted.

            1. Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

              1. I don’t think Jesus played video games. I mean, I guess he could have, but I don’t remember reading about it in Sunday School.

                1. HomeWorld and Deus Ex back in the day. I’ve got things to do now, so games are not a priority.

      2. Imperium of Man, you mean.

        Wrong franchise, dude.

        1. I’ve moved on from fantasy to reality.

          Still haven’t finished painting my Stryker company though.

          1. “God-Emperor of Mankind” would be a fitting title for Obama, according to his proponents. But let’s not give the sucker any ideas.

  2. If FEMA was turned back in to Civil Defense, and states then assumed responsibilities for typical emergencies, that would be an improvement.

    1. Glad to see we’re in agreement.

  3. “I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.”
    -James Madison

    He Gary. Stick it.

    Though I’ll still probably vote for the fucker.

  4. I’d revert FEMA back to being called “Civil Defense” and just have a very thin Federal framework to tie the various state and municipal civil defense organizations together.

    Another role for Federal civil defense is to act as a bully pulpit to get the average American to prepare for disasters and be more self-sufficient overall.


      And in reality, even the fucking LP candidate doesn’t.


        My father is an uber-lib, and he says Romney wants to end all social programs to transfer wealth from the poor to the rich. Romney wants poor people to starve and go without medical care so the rich can get richer. Romney is a monster. Plain and simple. It’s all about rich vs poor, and Romney is on the side of the rich.
        My father is a smart and educated man with an analytical mind, but on the subjects of politics and economics he’s an emotional twit.

        1. Sounds just like my dad! I was visiting a couple weekends ago and I can’t tell you how many times he tried to say that he paid more in taxes than Mitt did. The most amazing thing, though, is that he was also slamming the GOP for wanting to “gut Social Security.” I mean, he may be a Communist, but he did spend a lot of time raising me harping on about how he would never see a penny of “his [sic] [FICA] money.” I brought that up but he claims now that SS is just fine and anything that says otherwise is just part of the giant Republican plot against the working man.

          1. Here at work someone left out a political flier that was obviously skewed to the right, comparing candidates with things like “Supports federal dollars going to abortions”.

            One of the proud liberals in the office blew a gasket! I could hear her up-pitched voice ranting at one of the managers. I just smiled and walked away.

            Emotion is impervious to logic.

          2. My father died an unyieldingly patriotic Goldwater Republican, and my mother thought governments are staffed by assholes and bullies generally, but was generally a very apolitical person. I guess I was lucky.

            1. *also

            2. Yeah, the, uh, “interesting” thing about my dad is that he has also traditionally hated on the government for the bullies-and-assholes reason (and hates, e.g., tenured public school teachers, and anyone else he’s actually had to come into contact with and be frustrated by in his normal life). But he is the fucking poster child for the politics of envy. It’s really coming out with Mitt because he’s so rich, and it ain’t pretty.

              I said something to him about how, you know, I should be just as envious of him because he gets all kinds of tax breaks I don’t (mortgage interest, kids) but he wasn’t impressed. “It cost me a lot more than that tax credit is worth to raise you!” Choices, how the fuck do they work?

              1. Yeah, the, uh, “interesting” thing about my dad is that he has also traditionally hated on the government for the bullies-and-assholes reason (and hates, e.g., tenured public school teachers, and anyone else he’s actually had to come into contact with and be frustrated by in his normal life). But he is the fucking poster child for the politics of envy.

                You just described my father. Weird.

                1. Nicole and Sarcasmic: Was he out of town “on business” a lot? Maybe you’r long lost siblings? Perhaps your father had two seperate families that he’s managed to keep perfectly secret up until now.

                  “Fucker’s setting up franchises”

                  1. Haha, I was going to say, I know sarc can’t be my little bro because he likes big boobs. Sadly, your theory is also out; he never goes anywhere.

                    1. I know sarc can’t be my little bro because he likes big boobs.

                      Wait, what?

                      What does that have to do with anything?

                    2. I meant my actual little brother, the one I know, and whose taste in women I know.

                    3. Ah.

                    4. Thank God. I was beginning to wonder about unhealthy relationships for a moment there.

                    5. Yeah, I know. I like big boobs and all, but if I were nicole’s little brother, I’d be totally mackin’ on her 72 27 00 e3 0c d6 42 eb b4 c5

                      [Comment redacted by WIFE]
                      [For more information please visit:]
                      [Redactor v3.15]

                    6. I like big boobs and all, but…I’d be totally mackin’ on her

                      I would just like to clear up for the record that although there is no untoward sibling relationship, I meet the requirements of Real Bro and not sarcasmic.

                      Still love you, sarcasmic-fake-bro.

                    7. I meet the requirements of Real Bro and not sarcasmic.

                      Well, of course, you’re female; whereas we all know that sarcasmic is into the erast?s/er?menos relationship.

                    8. I enjoy looking at most types of boobs, but not at the boobs that look back.

                    9. So you don’t like looking in the mirror.

                    10. Sadly, your theory is also out; he never goes anywhere.

                      Damn, the whole “long lost half siblings meet on an online blog years later” thing would make an interesting screenplay.

                      *throws out first draft of screenplay I was starting to work on*

                      Oh well, guess I’ll just have to be content with being an engineer.

              2. “It cost me a lot more than that tax credit is worth to raise you!”

                Interesting way of expressing affection. Thanksgiving and other holidays must be a hoot.

                1. Thanksgiving and other holidays must be a hoot.

                  You should hear how good he’s gotten at sneering “Republican” at me. Meanwhile, he’s not even a US citizen!

                  1. Dear God, you’re not…half-Canadian, are you, nicole? I’d hate to have to shun you. But don’t think I won’t do it!

                    1. Bitch, please. Half Limey!

                    2. Oh, you’re a stupid Limey? Well, at least your dad has a good reason for being a complete moron.

                    3. Ok, ok…BULLET DODGED.

                      At least you’re not a filthy Mick like ProL.

                    4. Wait, Micks aren’t Limeys???

                    5. Wait, Micks aren’t Limeys???

                      Oh holy lord, Warty, you better watch it…

                    6. Is a Limey some sort of even drunker Mick subset or something? I’m terribly confused.

                    7. I have no idea. They all look the same to me.

                    8. Drunkenness is only an aside, the question is are you a sloppy, emotional idolater or a stiff-upper-lipped, cold-hearted bastard?

                    9. I thought it was whether you jacked off onto pictures of the Queen with hatred or with love.

                    10. They’re all pink on the outside.

              3. My dad was the sort of person who’d yell at the guy delivering the mail with a gun strapped to his belt because he hated the bullshit antics the USPS’ workforce was always up to. Very political, very intolerant of progressives — and especially outright socialists and communists. I swear to God, if a CPUSA flier distributor, say, showed up at the door, it wouldn’t surprise me if he would have shot him dead then and there.

                Of course, in a Russian family, you’re always going to get reds, and lots of our extended family back in old motherland are retarded pinkos we’ve always tried to forget.

                1. Very political, very intolerant of progressives — and especially outright socialists and communists. …

                  Of course, in a Russian family

                  Not surprising. Some of the most anti-communist people I’ve ever met were Russians who grew up under communism, and therefore saw the effects firsthand.

                  1. Yep, that’s precisely the experience I’ve had with several Russian-American friends.

                    My hatred of reds started because of my dad, but it took a few years for it to mature.

          3. How did you two turn out so well?

            1. You always rebel against your parents.

              1. You always rebel against your parents.

                I’ve been assured by one and all that I have damn near turned into my father. Which is fine with me.

                Better-looking, of course, but perhaps a tad lazier.

                1. Turning into my father has always been one of my greatest fears.

                  He’s schizophrenic.

            2. It took me losing my job the same month my lease was up rendering me homeless, and then discovering that this government that is supposedly “us” (we are government, you know) didn’t give a flying fuck, to rethink my worship of the state.

              Didn’t take long to become a libertarian, and reading a few books on economics cemented it.

            3. Also, I learned to think instead of emote. That cured me of all TEAM tendencies.

          4. SS is just fine

            Of a long list of items that disappoints me about today’s GOP, this is on the top. They make zero effort to explain just how false this is…probably because they too live in a state of denial.

            BADLY BROKEN!
            COMPLETE SHIT!

            Oh and then…


            But denial denial denial is the way of the political elite until the dollar implodes.

            And the populace accepts this…because they to live in denial.

            Financial Armageddon can’t come soon enough, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the only way to get past this mess, because nothing beyond complete fiscal calamity will force the population to wake the fuck up.

            1. I honestly couldn’t get over that part. Made me feel like he is getting old and weird or something. He’s really not a complete moron.

              1. My father is a 67-year old fire breathing Republican. But he loves his freebies. Mention SS or Medicare reform and he turns into a AARP Zombie.

                I don’t understand it either.

                1. Mention SS or Medicare reform and he turns into a AARP Zombie.

                  I don’t understand it either.

                  Old people are afraid of dying.

                  1. Old [P]eople are afraid of dying.


                    1. Old [P]eople are afraid of dying.


                      Ghurkas aren’t.

                    2. I made general statement and painted with too broad a brush, HM. Duly noted. Most people, OK? In my experience, all of my patients at one time or another have had this weird allergy to death.

            2. I honestly believe that the population will not wake up and double down on more entitlement spending. As Gojira Jim pointed out, when adults, young or otherwise, reach a certain standard of living, especially subsidized, they will not give it up without a fight and I believe would resort to Rosseau’s prescription for this situation. Dmitri Molotov would also be demanding posthumous residuals.

        2. It amazing how they have been able to simultansously argue Romney is a middling flip-floper and a fire-breathing libertarian monster. Of course, these are the same people who think Obama is a good president.

          I would be surprised if it turned out MSNBC was putting out some sort of Videodrome signal and they all have robin’s-egg-sized brain tumors.

          1. Surprisingly the old man is disappointed with Obama for not closing Gitmo and a few other broken promises. Though it’s not like that will stop him from voting for the guy again.

            1. I will say that I am lucky that my family is completely apolitical. A few of my very small amount of Facebook friends are ranting libs, but I’ve downloaded that chrome application that turns them into pictures of cats.

          2. They do this every time. McCain was both a doddering old fool and an Iran-nuking WARBONUR maniac.

            Well, I guess he could be both. But you know what I mean!

            1. Bush, the devious imbecile.

              1. “Mrs. Blank, we’re doing our best to weed them out, but some of these retards are extremely clever.”

            2. Plus, Palin’s uterus would be all up in those decisions.

        3. dang… if only.

        4. I didn’t use to believe people like that existed, until I met one. They literally believed that Republicans wanted to starve old people. Literally. That’s “literally” in that he genuinely believed that Republicans wanted to actually withhold food and water from the elderly. He was extremely insistent that I understand it too.

      2. Well, that would open him up to valid criticism of hypocrisy if he stated otherwise.

        He also shouldn’t have said anything about “the basic notion of government protecting us.”

        I would expect that kind of rhetoric from Tony.

      3. Yes, it would be terrible….terrible if people were more self-sufficient, wouldn’t it?

        1. It would be. I mean, if everyone were self-sufficient, who would we complain the banksters should be sharing their magic light juice with?

  5. http://www.indecisionforever.c…..cane-sandy

    Well, Comedy Central continues to suck, 16 years after canceling MST3K.

    1. Favorite quote:

      “Though television stations are privately owned, they owe their access to the wireless spectrum to the Federal Communications Commission.”

      1. Hey, that was my favorite quote! Because of the owing, of course.

      2. Magic!

      3. Cable, how does it work?

    2. I didn’t read them: Anything good in the comments?

      1. The comments are pretty nicely anti-gov’t, actually.

      2. The one on top is pretty cheeky and in a good way.

      1. CPAC Guide to Scoring a Hot Date ?
        Is that a lawfully-concealed handgun or is he just happy to see you? Trick question! The answer is YES, because it’s time again for the Conservative Political Action Conference, creepily described by one longtime participant as “the bacchanal?when many young Republicans lose their virginity.

        How could this guy possibly think he’s funny?

        1. The SNL laugh line recording is and playback machine is industrial strength.

        2. He’s a mental defective would be my guess.

        3. He recently learned how to speak Douche and he thinks the humour will translate somehow.

    3. To be fair, when they canceled MST3K, its glory days were far behind it. I can re-watch many of the episodes, but not the ‘Pearl’ ones.


      2. You’re kidding, right? MST kept getting better and better throughout its run.

      3. RiffTrax!1!1

      4. I love MST3K but…it’s made for DVD in that it is strongly mixed. You only want to watch the good stuff, which there’s plenty of.

      5. Joel was the money. Anything non-Joel is second rate at best.

        1. I like Joel. (Season 5 Joel episodes are some of the best.) But even he admitted that Mike was funnier, a better leader, and looked more natural during the skits.

          Plus Mike did away with the Invention Exchange.

          1. If you ever saw Joel Hodgson’s stand up act, you’d know why the IE went away. I suspect it was 90% his ideas.

            The first 2 Mike seasons were alright, then it seemed like they lost interest.

        2. No hating on Mike, who was writing the stuff all along, anyway.

          1. Excellent point.

          2. Excellent point.

          3. Excellent point.

          4. You make an excellent point.

      6. Which glory days were these? All I remember is a bunch of SNL reruns.

      7. The riffing is still good

    4. They always think the “don’t use services that the government doesn’t allow competition on and already stole money from you to pay for” joke is so funny.

      1. It really is the kind of joke that requires a Bill Maher-esque smirk for proper punctuation.

      2. Well, duh! I mean, if you’re so principled, then stand by them!

        Reject all these services that you’ve already paid for and are prohibited from getting anywhere else!

        Stand on your principles!

        Do it!

        See? I knew it. You’re just a pussy or you’d stand on your principles.

        1. Rand’s line was good – so long as you’re only taking back what they stole from you, it’s fine.

          My point to morons who whip out that chestnut is that any principled libertarian would have to starve in a Communist country, since everything is controlled by the government. Which I suspect is kind of the point.

          1. everyone starves in a Communist country. Except the Communists.

    5. MST3K sucked.

      I saw it ONCE. I had an unexpected paid day off on an out of town gig. The weather was horrible but I was flush with contraband. Checking the TV listings I couldn’t believe my eyes…”DESTROY ALL MONSTERS”. I twisted up a nice fat tube of contraband and kicked back to watch the classic battle of Japanese movie stars.
      It was totally ruined by this tacked on unfunny running commentary.

      1. Do not be too quick to judge. Some episodes work better than others.

  6. I can live with FEMA if it responds to only unforeseen disasters. Hurricane damage in the Gulf or East Coast south of DC, you’re on your own. Ice Storm in Milwaukee? Good luck with that. San Fransisco eathquake? Even at 8.0, pick up your own rubble.

    Now if Phoenix gets flooded out, or Miami gets hit with a blizzard, or say lava pours down the streets of Cincinnati, we’ll all be only too happy to provide as much support as we can.

  7. You mean Johnson may not be a “true scottsman”! The horror… the horror!

    1. I wish he were. If he were, say, Sean Connery, I’d vote for him, despite his ineligibility.

  8. That’s unpossible.

    All libertarians are against saving drowning people.

    Everybody knows that.

    1. Libertarians boast hearts of pure marble and souls of damnable rust.

      The horror!

    2. If Romney actually was a libertarian he wouldn’t have debated Obama, he’d have beaten him senseless with his cane and left him sobbing in the gutter.

    3. Unless they’re waving a big wad of cash in the air.

  9. Johnson has a lot of “notions”.

    1. To jump in the river and drown?

    2. I’ve noticed that too. It sounds so…blah.

  10. We keep hearing about “legalizing marijuana for recreational use”, but what it really appears to be is an attempt to legalize marijuana as a far safer alternative to alcohol.

    According to the CDC, alcohol kills 80,000 people every year in the U.S. while marijuana kills none, and marijuana’s addiction potential is only about that of coffee.

    Since marijuana is far safer and far less addictive than alcohol, we could GREATLY reduce the amount of harm and addiction in society by giving people the right to switch from the more harmful drug, alcohol, to the less harmful drug, marijuana. Paranoid old men keep marijuana illegal and make our children LESS safe!

    1. Way to go, sister! You show ’em, gurl!

    2. You don’t have to “give people the right” to choose what they smoke, drink or eat. You just have to get the government to stop violating their rights.

    3. Paranoid old men keep marijuana illegal

      Barrack Obama?

      1. Actually, it’s women who keep marijuana illegal.

  11. Garrett, your alt-text…I see what you did there.

    I really enjoyed the event, CRAZY excited crowd.

  12. Let me translate:

    Gay Jay = Panderer

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