Just kidding. Don't let your children eat poisoned candy. That will be easy, though, since there has never been a documented instance of strangers giving kids poisoned candy on Halloween. Seriously. There are no verified incidents of poisoned candy, and no reported serious injuries from razor blades, pins, or needles in candy despite at five decades worth of annual scare stories.
So this year, why not let your kids eat their candy without inspecting it first? Heck, encourage them to eat those candy apples and popcorn balls—assuming there is even anyone left in your neighborhood who hands those things out—while they're trick-or-treating?
Kids shouldn't eat raisins or fresh fruit, of course. Those "treats" are not poisoned either, they just suck.
Let the little ones settle in for some fun holiday enjoyment free from unnecessary fearmongering. With a little luck, legislatures and law enforcement might even follow your lead and relax, instead of using All Hallows' Eve to put additional restrictions on sex offenders, contact lens manufacturers, and just about everybody else.
Lenore Skenazy of the Free-Range Kids blog has a great idea: Take a picture of your kid chowing down on that homemade pumpkin cookie from a neighbor and send it her at firstname.lastname@example.org. She'll put together a slide show designed to encourage people to chill out and enjoy Halloween a little more next year.